alt.arts.poetry.comments - 25 new messages in 9 topics - digest

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alt.arts.poetry.comments
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments?hl=en

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Today's topics:

* Truck Stop Woman: the video (made by Michael Lindberg of Sweden) - 6
messages, 5 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/f388c433dadecc1e?hl=en
* Some WalkaboutsVerse, etc. - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/9761691a391dd328?hl=en
* GOLDEN REWARD - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/e3054593a6f0d9e5?hl=en
* if the shoe fits (lyric)-read it first-then listen-poetry or not? - 8
messages, 4 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/d2b0a73b0dbd1337?hl=en
* LUNCH - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/fec55548ff613a41?hl=en
* Del Ranch $.99 taco bar & open mic Sunday - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/5698cc151f1fcfcc?hl=en
* Poutine - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/325d0963189f5b53?hl=en
* MySpace in China - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/705df262315655cd?hl=en
* Meat Plow's Twinkie addiction - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/4db59a7befe1fa52?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Truck Stop Woman: the video (made by Michael Lindberg of Sweden)
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/f388c433dadecc1e?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 6 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 21 2009 11:17 pm
From: "Orson Wells as CitizenCain"



"Critic Al" <m...@home.now> wrote in message
news:4b0856c9$0$5361$9a56...@news.aliant.net...
> What does "In corporation with Will Dockery mean"? Are you a corporation?

Yea, haven't you ever heard of "Douchebags, Inc.?"






== 2 of 6 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 7:01 am
From: George Dance


On Nov 21, 4:42 am, Will Dockery <will.dock...@gmail.com> wrote:
> My pal Michael Lindberg of Sweden put together a nice video
> interpretation of "Truck Stop Woman", which seems to be well-liked
> over in Europe right now...
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs
>
> > > Actually I feel I must come to the defense of Will. He's a decent dude
> > > who never started any trouble with anyone in this newsgroup.
>
> > > He's always been polite to his critics. Even when Gary Gamble made fun
> > > of the death of a woman that Will loved.
>
> > And the film from the last days of that era will soon be brought to
> > light.
>
> > Here are some of the stills from the 1996 Shadowville All-Stars
> > film... including footage of the late Rick Howe, who Rick Edwards &
> > Henry Conley both knew. He used to be a part of the downtown open mic
> > scene of 1995-97, when The Loft, Human Experience Theatre, Bizarre
> > Earth & The Brewery (a coffeeshop next door to where Fountain City is
> > now) were the only places in downtown Shadowville, & we did fine. Sure
> > could have used that Loft balcony, though... which was over a decade
> > away:
>
> >http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture...
>
> > Stay tuned...
>
> > --
> > "Red Lipped Stranger & other stories" by Will Dockery:http://www.myspace.com/willdockery>http://www.myspace.com/chucklysaght

I commented on YT, telling Mr. Lindberg that "The video is interesting
(especially considering it relies only on stills, the sound quality is
light years ahead of the earlier live videos on YT, and the song
itself grows on me with every listen." I also had some complaints
about the accompanying text, which he was gracious enough to
acknowledge and re-edit to some degree. Definitely if I want to hear
TSW (and it is one I like to give a listen to now and then), that's
the page I'll go to. fer now.




== 3 of 6 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 7:20 am
From: Meat Plow


On Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:08:23 -0400, "Critic Al" <m...@home.now>wrote:

>What does "In corporation with Will Dockery mean"? Are you a corporation?

It means that Willy made a typing boo boo....




== 4 of 6 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 9:04 am
From: "G&tSP"


On Nov 22, 10:20 am, Meat Plow <m...@petitmorte.net> wrote:
> On Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:08:23 -0400, "Critic Al" <m...@home.now>wrote:
>
> >What does "In corporation with Will Dockery mean"? Are you a corporation?
>
> It means that Willy made a typing boo boo....

Dumbass: the writer's name was Michael.





== 5 of 6 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 10:48 am
From: Meat Plow


On Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:04:25 -0800 (PST), "G&tSP"
<gan...@yahoo.ca>wrote:

>On Nov 22, 10:20?am, Meat Plow <m...@petitmorte.net> wrote:
>> On Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:08:23 -0400, "Critic Al" <m...@home.now>wrote:
>>
>> >What does "In corporation with Will Dockery mean"? Are you a corporation?
>>
>> It means that Willy made a typing boo boo....
>
>Dumbass: the writer's name was Michael.

Aw aint this special! My little addict is all worky up. Settle down
now and shut the fuck up like a good boi.




== 6 of 6 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 6:13 pm
From: Will Dockery


On Nov 22, 10:01 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On Nov 21, 4:42 am, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > My pal Michael Lindberg of Sweden put together a nice video
> > interpretation of "Truck Stop Woman", which seems to be well-liked
> > over in Europe right now...
>
> >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs
>
> > > > Actually I feel I must come to the defense of Will. He's a decent dude
> > > > who never started any trouble with anyone in this newsgroup.
>
> > > > He's always been polite to his critics. Even when Gary Gamble made fun
> > > > of the death of a woman that Will loved.
>
> > > And the film from the last days of that era will soon be brought to
> > > light.
>
> > > Here are some of the stills from the 1996 Shadowville All-Stars
> > > film... including footage of the late Rick Howe, who Rick Edwards &
> > > Henry Conley both knew. He used to be a part of the downtown open mic
> > > scene of 1995-97, when The Loft, Human Experience Theatre, Bizarre
> > > Earth & The Brewery (a coffeeshop next door to where Fountain City is
> > > now) were the only places in downtown Shadowville, & we did fine. Sure
> > > could have used that Loft balcony, though... which was over a decade
> > > away:
>
> > >http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture...
>
> > > Stay tuned...
>
> > > "Red Lipped Stranger & other stories" by Will Dockery:http://www.myspace.com/willdockery>http://www.myspace.com/chucklysaght
>
> I commented on YT, telling Mr. Lindberg that "The video is interesting
> (especially considering it relies only on stills, the sound quality is
> light years ahead of the earlier live videos on YT, and the song
> itself grows on me with every listen." I also had some complaints
> about the accompanying text, which he was gracious enough to
> acknowledge and re-edit to some degree. Definitely if I want to hear
> TSW (and it is one I like to give a listen to now and then), that's
> the page I'll go to. fer now.

Yes, Michael did a good job, I think.

--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs





==============================================================================
TOPIC: Some WalkaboutsVerse, etc.
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/9761691a391dd328?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 2:51 am
From: walkaboutsverse


Poem 166 of 230: COLOURFUL LLANDUDNO - SUMMER 2001

Seated within the Greenery,
Looking up, from a plate of toast
(Reddened with beans and tomatoes),
Along Chapel Street’s three-storey
Flats in white with red or yellow,
Or white with a brown or a blue
(White with almost every hue),
I thought: “Colourful Llandudno.”

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

On Nov 21, 11:17 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Poem 184 of 230: THE QUICK CLUBBERS' TROT IN NEWCASTLE - AUTUMN 2001
>
> Fridays, Saturdays,
>     Latish in the night,
> Bringing a smile,
>     Making quite a sight
> Down the steep-sloped Side,
>     High on their heels -
> Bonny, blithe ladies,
>     Done with their meals
> Or earlier clubs,
>     Seeking the next spot,
> And risking it with
>     Their quick clubbers' trot.
>
> Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> (C) David Franks 2003
>
> On Nov 20, 11:20 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Poem 37 of 230: RODEO DRIVE
>
> > On visiting Los Angeles,
> >     I thought I’d walk Rodeo Drive.
> > I’d passed a few up-market shops
> >     When an hombre said, “Take one please.”
>
> > ‘Twas info. on exploitation,
> >     Which I read that night in my room.
> > It mentioned of the unfair gap -
> >     Sweatshop-wages to profit-on.
>
> > I left him to visit the john,
> >     Which was all clad in marble stone.
> > Then I walked past more fortune gowns
> >     To lunch: four bucks - fair profit-on.
>
> > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > On Nov 19, 10:51 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > Poem 36 of 230: WALKABOUT MEXICO
>
> > > In late December,
> > >     1996,
> > > I can remember
> > >     Being in a fix -
> > > For time and pesos -
> > >     And, thus, unable
> > > To see Mexico’s
> > >     Sights commendable.
>
> > > So, in Tijuana,
> > >     I enjoyed the show
> > > At a miniature
> > >     Rep. of Mexico.
>
> > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > On Nov 18, 10:30 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > Despite such beautiful scenery, if I was to visit Ireland these days,
> > > > I'd be more keen on a folk-club than a golf-club...
>
> > > > Poem 12 of 230: GOLF AT KILLARNEY
>
> > > > At Killarney Golf and Fishing Club,
> > > >     There's two great courses to be found;
> > > > Built on Ireland's fine Ring of Kerry,
> > > >     Both are really worth a round.
>
> > > > From the local social Youth Hostel,
> > > >     I hitched (doing as Irish do);
> > > > Then paid to play both the courses,
> > > >     But missed five holes - Hostel curfew.
>
> > > > The fairways were lush and nicely groomed,
> > > >     And the course views the best I've seen;
> > > > With walks beside the lakes and mountains,
> > > >     I'm proud to say to there I've been.
>
> > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > (C) David Franks 2003
> > > > On Nov 17, 9:34 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > In North East England...
>
> > > > > Poem 197 of 230: HISTORIC HEXHAM – AUTUMN 2002
>
> > > > > All hay was made,
> > > > >     And the sun stayed,
> > > > > The autumn day
> > > > >     I made my way,
> > > > > Via Heddon,
> > > > >     To old Hexham,
> > > > > Where I did see:
> > > > >     The fine abbey,
> > > > > The ex-gaol
> > > > >     By the moot-hall,
> > > > > Plus, holding sports
> > > > >     Of varied sorts,
> > > > > The Tynedale
> > > > >     And the Seal.
>
> > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > On Nov 16, 10:09 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > This was in 1988...
>
> > > > > > Poem cum song 10 of 230: LAND’S END TO JOHN O’ GROATS
>
> > > > > > (TUNE:
>
> > > > > > D G A A B B A A
> > > > > > D A B B A A G G
> > > > > > D B B B A A G G
> > > > > > D A B A B A G G)
>
> > > > > > At the bold age of twenty-one
> > > > > >     (Via Hong Kong, China, Macau),
> > > > > > I flew from Sydney to London -
> > > > > >     Land’s End to John o’ Groats my vow.
>
> > > > > > I took a train out of London,
> > > > > >     Found a highway and thumbed a ride;
> > > > > > I headed down toward Brighton,
> > > > > >     Then hitch-hiked roads the coast beside.
>
> > > > > > On the face of my shoulder bag,
> > > > > > A sketched map of Aus. was my tag;
> > > > > > For said a Scot who’d hitched Europe:
> > > > > > “Some emblem may well boost your hope.”
>
> > > > > > And drivers throughout the island,
> > > > > > Over a two month riding span,
> > > > > > Were the kindest folks I have met -
> > > > > > I swear not once did I get wet!
>
> > > > > > I stopped overnight in Portsmouth,
> > > > > >     And one or two nights in Torquay;
> > > > > > Then headed along to Plymouth -
> > > > > >     Still travelling beside the sea.
>
> > > > > > After viewing rugged Land’s End,
> > > > > >     I began the long journey north -
> > > > > > North-east, rather, before a bend,
> > > > > >     Somewhere in a bit from Bournemouth.
>
> > > > > > On the way, I saw relatives,
> > > > > > Whom after leaving I did miss -
> > > > > > Their homes’ cosy atmosphere,
> > > > > > And their local pubs’ good cheer.
>
> > > > > > And the hitched-lifts came from many:
> > > > > > An off-work Bobbie, a truckie,
> > > > > > As well as on-duty soldiers -
> > > > > > Thanks, and I’ve not said where each was!
>
> > > > > > I headed west through South Wales,
> > > > > >     And viewed Cardiff Arms from afar -
> > > > > > I was hitching with local males,
> > > > > >     And they showed me from in the car.
>
> > > > > > I stayed a while at Swansea -
> > > > > >     Saw the local footballers play;
> > > > > > Then hitched north through Llandovery -
> > > > > >     Beautiful farmland, I must say.
>
> > > > > > I slept mostly in B. & B’s,
> > > > > > Where the full breakfasts sure did please;
> > > > > > But also stopped in Youth Hostels,
> > > > > > Where it’s the comradeship that tells.
>
> > > > > > My favourite sites were Torquay,
> > > > > > Old St. Andrews (noted shortly),
> > > > > > The road Glasgow-to-Inverness,
> > > > > > The Lakes, plus London’s spots, no less.
>
> > > > > > From Colwyn Bay, I headed east
> > > > > >     To Manchester, my place of birth;
> > > > > > Then on the Lakes my eyes did feast,
> > > > > >     Before I passed by Solway Firth.
>
> > > > > > Onto Edinburgh, Glasgow,
> > > > > >     St. Andrews, before Inverness;
> > > > > > Then waves from locals were the go -
> > > > > >     Warm folks round John o’ Groats, I’d guess.
>
> > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > > On Nov 15, 10:18 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > After a stormy Saturday here in England, it's much calmer in Newcastle
> > > > > > > upon Tyne today...
>
> > > > > > > Poem 179 of 230: A GLASSY TYNE - AUTUMN 2001
>
> > > > > > > Near glassy-classical new Law Courts,
> > > > > > >     From the snazzy Millennium Footbridge,
> > > > > > > Reflecting fine bridges of other sorts -
> > > > > > >     A glassy Tyne's snazzy sunset image.
>
> > > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > > > On Nov 14, 12:13 pm, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > Hardly seaside weather today in England, but...
>
> > > > > > > > Poem 120 of 230:  A GOOD SEASIDE DAY - AUTUMN 2000
>
> > > > > > > > Via the art gallery,
> > > > > > > >     Blackpool how it used to be;
> > > > > > > > Via a famous tower,
> > > > > > > >     The Blackpool of the hour.
> > > > > > > > Via a maritime Mount,
> > > > > > > >     Fleetwood with its channel out.
> > > > > > > > And, via a coastline tram,
> > > > > > > >     The autumn-night lit-art jam.
>
> > > > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > > > > On Nov 13, 10:10 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > It's called Mumbai now, of course, but not when I was there...
>
> > > > > > > > > Poem 21 of 230: BOMBAY PORTER
>
> > > > > > > > > Awaiting a train in Bombay,
> > > > > > > > >     I was shocked into dismay;
> > > > > > > > > For a well-dressed man, built strongly,
> > > > > > > > >     Was walking, his hands set free,
> > > > > > > > > Ahead of a bony porter -
> > > > > > > > >     Heavy case on head, no quarter.
>
> > > > > > > > > Shortly later, I watched again
> > > > > > > > >     As out from the rich-man’s train
> > > > > > > > > Came the scrawny struggling porter -
> > > > > > > > >     His thin back now much tauter;
> > > > > > > > > For he writhed as he stretched his loins -
> > > > > > > > >     After a quick count of few coins.
>
> > > > > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > > > > > On Nov 12, 10:31 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > Poem 114 of 230: CLITHEROE CASTLE'S VIEWS - SUMMER 2000
>
> > > > > > > > > > From outside metres-thick wall
> > > > > > > > > >     (Down on leafy grounds grown tall,
> > > > > > > > > > Then across stony households
> > > > > > > > > >     To lush-green sheep-grazing folds,
> > > > > > > > > > And up further to the moor),
> > > > > > > > > >     Clitheroe Castle's views soar.
>
> > > > > > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
> > > > > > > > > > Orhttp://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com(e-scroll)
> > > > > > > > > > (C) David Franks 2003
>
> > > > > > > > > > On Nov 11, 9:32 am, walkaboutsverse <david1fra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > > > Poem 84 of 230: NATIONALISM WITHOUT CONQUEST
>
> > > > > > > > > > > Everything in moderation..?
> > > > > > > > > > >     Well, with "nationalism" it's true:
> > > > > > > > > > > It can carry unique cultures on
> > > > > > > > > > >     But, overdosed, cause their conquest, too.
>
> > > > > > > > > > > Fromhttp://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse(e-book)
>
> ...
>
> read more »- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -






==============================================================================
TOPIC: GOLDEN REWARD
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/e3054593a6f0d9e5?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 2:57 am
From: rksingh






With sudden twists and turns

popping up each new day

life still awaits intrigues

through meandering pathways

I search the golden light

the rising Capricorn

held for a Sunday child



the labyrinths are dark

and scary but I know

the way in is the way out

I can’t trip along the way

like others in blind alleys

the guardian angel

leads me to golden reward



--R.K.SINGH





== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 9:20 am
From: George Dance


On Nov 22, 5:57 am, rksingh <profrksi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> With sudden twists  and turns
>
> popping  up each new day
>
> life still awaits intrigues
>
> through meandering pathways
>
> I search the golden light
>
> the rising Capricorn
>
> held for a Sunday child
>
> the labyrinths are dark
>
> and scary but I know
>
> the way in is the way out
>
> I can’t trip along the way
>
> like others in blind alleys
>
> the guardian angel
>
> leads me to golden reward
>
> --R.K.SINGH


Thanks for posting here again, Prof.. Singh. I was afraid we'd lost
you, after those two posters ran a thread bashing your poem, "Death.'
You'll be happy to hear that they've recently both left in huff, both
complaining that their own poetry, and their all-around brilliance,
weren't being appreciated enough. Good riddance, say I and a few
others.

I enjoyed reading this, but was distracted by your line formatting. Is
this the way it should read? I'm used to you writing in short stanzas,
and fear your word processor may have reformatted without your
knowledge.

I'm not sure if you want 'golden' twice; it calls attention to itself
in such a short piece, but it seems like an important word here. i'd
like to hear your thoughts on that.

I'd also be interested in your explanation of the line, "The way in is
the way out." That looks like the most important line of the poem, and
I'm not sure exactly what it means. I've heard it before: Neil Peart
used it in a lyric once, though he wrote it as "The way out is the way
in." I think understanding its meaning would give me a better grasp of
the meaning of both lyrics, yours and Peart's.

It would be easy for someone over here in N. America, lacking your
cultural background, to miss the deeper meanings of your poems, and
I'm afraid that includes me as well.

In any case, please feel free to continue to post your work here.





==============================================================================
TOPIC: if the shoe fits (lyric)-read it first-then listen-poetry or not?
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/d2b0a73b0dbd1337?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 7:30 am
From: "=z="


On Nov 22, 1:34 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > if the shoe fits...
>
> > what's the matter my love
> > why such a sad face
> > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > barefoot in the wrong place
> > stand amid the broken glass
> > step softly where you go
> > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > come back inside my love
> > a storm might blow you away
> > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > never knew quite what to say
> > whatever happened to your innocence
> > you misplaced it long ago
> > and never care about the consequence
> > passed out on your patio
>
> > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > and your souls been so abused
> > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > and your life here so misused
> > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > somewhere along the line
> > a pipers tune led you away
> > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > don't try to run away
> > too many thorns are in that road
> > and did you have your pills today
> > to help you with that heavy load
> > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > no one around you seems to care
> > they've all seen just what you got
> > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > when in fact no one's amused
> > you can't recall what you did last night
> > and just stand there so confused
> > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > about something that you missed
> > you never will quite understand
> > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > go back to sleep my love
> > let the dreams take you away
> > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > just remember that when you wake
> > and everything is still the same
> > you may change the way you look
> > but you can never, change your name
> > you will never, change your name
>
> >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
> though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
> circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
> There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
> your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
> that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
> barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
> that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
> and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
> always coming back to the same thoughts.
>
> I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
> > and never care about the consequence
> > passed out on your patio
>
> Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
> your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
> about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
> that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
> enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
> In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
> > you may change the way you look
>
> -- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
> you look at things."
>
> I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
> woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
> change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
> understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
> there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
> distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Thanks BP/George. The only reason I brought it up is that I was
remembering a banter back and forth with hammes (I think it was
Dennis) about poets vs musicians where he said "I don't know why
musicians think they can be poets, they ought to just stay musicians"
or something like that...I felt it was more the other way around...
8 )
oh, yea George thanks for the crit...i should have paid more attention
to punctuation when I copied it over...plus you were right on all the
above...although the wording is not gender biased I did write it for
Jen...she was a drinker plus drug taker (thanks in part to her husband
at the time) the last line was like you said you can never really
change who you are inside as easy as one can change a name...the
commas should not have been in there...are you sure about the youre
thing? That seems more Europea/Canadian...




== 2 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 8:15 am
From: "=z="


On Nov 22, 10:30 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 22, 1:34 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > if the shoe fits...
>
> > > what's the matter my love
> > > why such a sad face
> > > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > > barefoot in the wrong place
> > > stand amid the broken glass
> > > step softly where you go
> > > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > > come back inside my love
> > > a storm might blow you away
> > > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > > never knew quite what to say
> > > whatever happened to your innocence
> > > you misplaced it long ago
> > > and never care about the consequence
> > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > > and your souls been so abused
> > > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > > and your life here so misused
> > > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > > somewhere along the line
> > > a pipers tune led you away
> > > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > > don't try to run away
> > > too many thorns are in that road
> > > and did you have your pills today
> > > to help you with that heavy load
> > > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > > no one around you seems to care
> > > they've all seen just what you got
> > > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > > when in fact no one's amused
> > > you can't recall what you did last night
> > > and just stand there so confused
> > > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > > about something that you missed
> > > you never will quite understand
> > > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > > go back to sleep my love
> > > let the dreams take you away
> > > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > > just remember that when you wake
> > > and everything is still the same
> > > you may change the way you look
> > > but you can never, change your name
> > > you will never, change your name
>
> > >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> > Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
> > though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
> > circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
> > There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
> > your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
> > that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
> > barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
> > that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
> > and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
> > always coming back to the same thoughts.
>
> > I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
> > > and never care about the consequence
> > > passed out on your patio
>
> > Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
> > your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
> > about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
> > that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
> > enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
> > In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
> > > you may change the way you look
>
> > -- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
> > you look at things."
>
> > I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
> > woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
> > change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
> > understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
> > there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
> > distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Thanks BP/George. The only reason I brought it up is that I was
> remembering a banter back and forth with hammes (I think it was
> Dennis) about poets vs musicians where he said "I don't know why
> musicians think they can be poets, they ought to just stay musicians"
> or something like that...I felt it was more the other way around...
> 8 )
> oh, yea George thanks for the crit...i should have paid more attention
> to punctuation when I copied it over...plus you were right on all the
> above...although the wording is not gender biased I did write it for
> Jen...she was a drinker plus drug taker (thanks in part to her husband
> at the time) the last line was like you said you can never really
> change who you are inside as easy as one can change a name...the
> commas should not have been in there...are you sure about the youre
> thing? That seems more Europea/Canadian...- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Jen, unfortunatly commited suicide several days after her 35th
birthday in 2005. I miss her a lot...




== 3 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 8:56 am
From: George Dance


On Nov 22, 10:30 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 22, 1:34 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > if the shoe fits...
>
> > > what's the matter my love
> > > why such a sad face
> > > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > > barefoot in the wrong place
> > > stand amid the broken glass
> > > step softly where you go
> > > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > > come back inside my love
> > > a storm might blow you away
> > > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > > never knew quite what to say
> > > whatever happened to your innocence
> > > you misplaced it long ago
> > > and never care about the consequence
> > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > > and your souls been so abused
> > > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > > and your life here so misused
> > > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > > somewhere along the line
> > > a pipers tune led you away
> > > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > > don't try to run away
> > > too many thorns are in that road
> > > and did you have your pills today
> > > to help you with that heavy load
> > > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > > no one around you seems to care
> > > they've all seen just what you got
> > > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > > when in fact no one's amused
> > > you can't recall what you did last night
> > > and just stand there so confused
> > > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > > about something that you missed
> > > you never will quite understand
> > > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > > go back to sleep my love
> > > let the dreams take you away
> > > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > > just remember that when you wake
> > > and everything is still the same
> > > you may change the way you look
> > > but you can never, change your name
> > > you will never, change your name
>
> > >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> > Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
> > though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
> > circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
> > There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
> > your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
> > that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
> > barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
> > that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
> > and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
> > always coming back to the same thoughts.
>
> > I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
> > > and never care about the consequence
> > > passed out on your patio
>
> > Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
> > your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
> > about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
> > that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
> > enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
> > In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
> > > you may change the way you look
>
> > -- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
> > you look at things."
>
> > I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
> > woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
> > change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
> > understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
> > there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
> > distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Thanks BP/George. The only reason I brought it up is that I was
> remembering a banter back and forth with hammes (I think it was
> Dennis) about poets vs musicians where he said "I don't know why
> musicians think they can be poets, they ought to just stay musicians"
> or something like that...I felt it was more the other way around...
> 8 )
> oh, yea George thanks for the crit...i should have paid more attention
> to punctuation when I copied it over...plus you were right on all the
> above...although the wording is not gender biased I did write it for
> Jen...she was a drinker plus drug taker (thanks in part to her husband
> at the time) the last line was like you said you can never really
> change who you are inside as easy as one can change a name...the
> commas should not have been in there...are you sure about the youre
> thing? That seems more Europea/Canadian...

In reverse order, to deal with the last point first: I reread the poem/
lyrics, and your (heh!) use of 'your' was correct throughout: "your
head", "your soul," "your mother," and (later) "you're so cute". I was
wrong about the first two, the result of hasty reading or whatever:
don't change either of those.

Thanks for the acknowledgement about the commas; as i see it, they
were just there to match the pauses in the song delivery, and didn't
belong. I'd rather you took them out. Which segues into punctuation in
general, since I remember us getting into that about a year or so ago.
I have no probem with your unpunctuated style in general; you use the
unpunctuated style well, using your line and stanza breaks instead:
your line endings match where I'd put commas, and your stanza endings
where I'd put periods. The only punctuation I'd urge you to add would
be some apostrophes: "your soul's" and "your head's" the same way as
"your mother's".

You probably don't read much prettystuzz, which is your concern not
mine, but I'd like to pass on a memory device if not a rule he have
me: "your head's" can be seen as short for "your head its" (which make
sense, since apostrophes get used for contractions). Anyway, enough
about that; it's a minor point; it's just that a spelling thing
distracts, takes attention away from the important stuff; what you're
saying and how you say it. That, as I tried to make clear, was first-
rate here.

I was amazed to hear you were inspired to post this in response to a
remark by Dennis. It is indeed amazing what an impression he made on
this group: how he continues to enter discussions almost a year after
his death. I thought you were inspired by Karla an p/s, who've been
waging an argument about poetry vs. lyrics by proxy for a while (in
posts to me). Actually, I'm more sympathetic to Karla's pov: as a lad
who couldn't read or play any music, or even sing in tune, I was
always a lyrics guy, and considered them the important part of the
song, the music being just background. (I've mellowed a bit, and now
see the lyrics as a way to give allow someone like me into the music.)
It's true, as she says, that a songwriter can be lazy with the lyrics,
dash off anything and let the music carry the burden of the art and
communication. IOW, if you can write music, you can get away with not
having to learn to write poetry. (Which I can't.)

Which doesn't apply to this poem/song of yours, BTW: it looks obvious
to me that this was a labour of love, that you crafted the lyrics with
as much care and attention as you did the music.

It also doesn't apply to someone like Cohen: I bring his name up to
show where that criticism of songwriters goes off the deep end, or
jumps the shark, and becomes snobbishness. The fact is, there's only
two types of poets who can make a living in a related field: academics
and songwriters; and much of the criticism of songwriters I see as
motivated by academic-type snobbishness (even from those who clearly
aren't academics at all).

My test for whether a song lyric is a poem is exactly the one you gave
us here: Read the words alone, as text on a page (aloud if you wish),
and see if they work as stand-alone text -- if they do, they pass as
poetry. Yours did. Thanks again for posting it here.




== 4 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 8:59 am
From: George Dance


On Nov 22, 11:15 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 22, 10:30 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Nov 22, 1:34 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > > On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > if the shoe fits...
>
> > > > what's the matter my love
> > > > why such a sad face
> > > > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > > > barefoot in the wrong place
> > > > stand amid the broken glass
> > > > step softly where you go
> > > > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > > > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > > > come back inside my love
> > > > a storm might blow you away
> > > > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > > > never knew quite what to say
> > > > whatever happened to your innocence
> > > > you misplaced it long ago
> > > > and never care about the consequence
> > > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > > > and your souls been so abused
> > > > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > > > and your life here so misused
> > > > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > > > somewhere along the line
> > > > a pipers tune led you away
> > > > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > > > don't try to run away
> > > > too many thorns are in that road
> > > > and did you have your pills today
> > > > to help you with that heavy load
> > > > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > > > no one around you seems to care
> > > > they've all seen just what you got
> > > > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > > > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > > > when in fact no one's amused
> > > > you can't recall what you did last night
> > > > and just stand there so confused
> > > > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > > > about something that you missed
> > > > you never will quite understand
> > > > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > > > go back to sleep my love
> > > > let the dreams take you away
> > > > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > > > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > > > just remember that when you wake
> > > > and everything is still the same
> > > > you may change the way you look
> > > > but you can never, change your name
> > > > you will never, change your name
>
> > > >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> > > Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
> > > though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
> > > circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
> > > There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
> > > your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
> > > that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
> > > barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
> > > that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
> > > and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
> > > always coming back to the same thoughts.
>
> > > I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
> > > > and never care about the consequence
> > > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
> > > your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
> > > about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
> > > that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
> > > enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
> > > In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
> > > > you may change the way you look
>
> > > -- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
> > > you look at things."
>
> > > I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
> > > woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
> > > change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
> > > understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
> > > there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
> > > distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > > - Show quoted text -
>
> > Thanks BP/George. The only reason I brought it up is that I was
> > remembering a banter back and forth with hammes (I think it was
> > Dennis) about poets vs musicians where he said "I don't know why
> > musicians think they can be poets, they ought to just stay musicians"
> > or something like that...I felt it was more the other way around...
> > 8 )
> > oh, yea George thanks for the crit...i should have paid more attention
> > to punctuation when I copied it over...plus you were right on all the
> > above...although the wording is not gender biased I did write it for
> > Jen...she was a drinker plus drug taker (thanks in part to her husband
> > at the time) the last line was like you said you can never really
> > change who you are inside as easy as one can change a name...the
> > commas should not have been in there...are you sure about the youre
> > thing? That seems more Europea/Canadian...- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Jen, unfortunatly commited suicide several days after her 35th
> birthday in 2005. I miss her a lot...

What can I say that isn't a cliche? Fuck it, let's go for the cliches,
since they're sincere in any case.

I'm sorry to hear that. At least you've helped immortalize her here.
We all die, and what becomes important after that is what we leave
behind. Most of us exist behind only as memories; the lucky ones get
to leave some art by or about us, as permanent legacy. You've done the
best one could for her in that respect.




== 5 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 10:21 am
From: "=z="


On Nov 22, 11:59 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On Nov 22, 11:15 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Nov 22, 10:30 am, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > On Nov 22, 1:34 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>
> > > > On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > if the shoe fits...
>
> > > > > what's the matter my love
> > > > > why such a sad face
> > > > > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > > > > barefoot in the wrong place
> > > > > stand amid the broken glass
> > > > > step softly where you go
> > > > > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > > > > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > > > > come back inside my love
> > > > > a storm might blow you away
> > > > > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > > > > never knew quite what to say
> > > > > whatever happened to your innocence
> > > > > you misplaced it long ago
> > > > > and never care about the consequence
> > > > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > > > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > > > > and your souls been so abused
> > > > > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > > > > and your life here so misused
> > > > > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > > > > somewhere along the line
> > > > > a pipers tune led you away
> > > > > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > > > > don't try to run away
> > > > > too many thorns are in that road
> > > > > and did you have your pills today
> > > > > to help you with that heavy load
> > > > > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > > > > no one around you seems to care
> > > > > they've all seen just what you got
> > > > > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > > > > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > > > > when in fact no one's amused
> > > > > you can't recall what you did last night
> > > > > and just stand there so confused
> > > > > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > > > > about something that you missed
> > > > > you never will quite understand
> > > > > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > > > > go back to sleep my love
> > > > > let the dreams take you away
> > > > > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > > > > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > > > > just remember that when you wake
> > > > > and everything is still the same
> > > > > you may change the way you look
> > > > > but you can never, change your name
> > > > > you will never, change your name
>
> > > > >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> > > > Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
> > > > though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
> > > > circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
> > > > There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
> > > > your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
> > > > that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
> > > > barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
> > > > that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
> > > > and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
> > > > always coming back to the same thoughts.
>
> > > > I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
> > > > > and never care about the consequence
> > > > > passed out on your patio
>
> > > > Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
> > > > your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
> > > > about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
> > > > that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
> > > > enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
> > > > In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
> > > > > you may change the way you look
>
> > > > -- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
> > > > you look at things."
>
> > > > I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
> > > > woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
> > > > change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
> > > > understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
> > > > there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
> > > > distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > > > - Show quoted text -
>
> > > Thanks BP/George. The only reason I brought it up is that I was
> > > remembering a banter back and forth with hammes (I think it was
> > > Dennis) about poets vs musicians where he said "I don't know why
> > > musicians think they can be poets, they ought to just stay musicians"
> > > or something like that...I felt it was more the other way around...
> > > 8 )
> > > oh, yea George thanks for the crit...i should have paid more attention
> > > to punctuation when I copied it over...plus you were right on all the
> > > above...although the wording is not gender biased I did write it for
> > > Jen...she was a drinker plus drug taker (thanks in part to her husband
> > > at the time) the last line was like you said you can never really
> > > change who you are inside as easy as one can change a name...the
> > > commas should not have been in there...are you sure about the youre
> > > thing? That seems more Europea/Canadian...- Hide quoted text -
>
> > > - Show quoted text -
>
> > Jen, unfortunatly commited suicide several days after her 35th
> > birthday in 2005. I miss her a lot...
>
> What can I say that isn't a cliche? Fuck it, let's go for the cliches,
> since they're sincere in any case.
>
> I'm sorry to hear that. At least you've helped immortalize her here.
> We all die, and what becomes important after that is what we leave
> behind. Most of us exist behind only as memories; the lucky ones get
> to leave some art by or about us, as permanent legacy. You've done the
> best one could for her in that respect.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Thanks again George. I appreciate the response and the time you took
with it. It actually gave me a bit more insight on the work than I had
thought about...




== 6 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 12:05 pm
From: Karla


On Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:34:27 -0800 (PST), George Dance
<george...@yahoo.ca> wrote:

>On Nov 21, 6:57 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> if the shoe fits...
>>
>> what's the matter my love
>> why such a sad face
>> you left your shoes out in the rain
>> barefoot in the wrong place
>> stand amid the broken glass
>> step softly where you go
>> you wouldn't want to cut yourself
>> but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>>
>> come back inside my love
>> a storm might blow you away
>> you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
>> never knew quite what to say
>> whatever happened to your innocence
>> you misplaced it long ago
>> and never care about the consequence
>> passed out on your patio
>>
>> it's a shame your heads a mess
>> and your souls been so abused
>> the quiet times are still loud as hell
>> and your life here so misused
>> looks like you made a wrong turn
>> somewhere along the line
>> a pipers tune led you away
>> and you missed that one way sign
>>
>> don't try to run away
>> too many thorns are in that road
>> and did you have your pills today
>> to help you with that heavy load
>> well it's a drag you've had such pain
>> no one around you seems to care
>> they've all seen just what you got
>> and that can be had anywhere
>>
>> you laugh and think that you're so cute
>> when in fact no one's amused
>> you can't recall what you did last night
>> and just stand there so confused
>> your mother's screaming on the phone
>> about something that you missed
>> you never will quite understand
>> it's no wonder you're so pissed
>>
>> go back to sleep my love
>> let the dreams take you away
>> I guess you do what you have to do and
>> tomorrow's just another day
>>
>> just remember that when you wake
>> and everything is still the same
>> you may change the way you look
>> but you can never, change your name
>> you will never, change your name
>>
>> http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
>
>Yes, I'd call it poetry. I'd call plenty of Dylan's lyrics poetry too,
>though, which some would not. That's what this reminds me of: Dylan
>circa the time of LaRS and P4St.
>
>There's some telly parts -- "your (shd be youre) heads a mess / and
>your souls been abused" -- but that's preceded by some vivid imagery
>that puts the reader into the experience: She's outside in the rain,
>barefoot, surrounded by broken glass. I got the idea from all that
>that she's a binge drinker, the broken glass being a bottle or glass,
>and that that (plus the pills) is how she gets through each day,
>always coming back to the same thoughts.

The adivce to change "your" to "youre" is incorrect. I'm assuming that
"youre" is 'you're', the contraction of 'you are'. Replace it in the line
and you have:

it's a shame [you are] heads a mess
and your souls been so abused

>I liked the ambiguity in some of the lines. For example:
>
>> and never care about the consequence
>> passed out on your patio
>
>Is that "and never care about the consequence [that is] passed out on
>your patio" (is her partner binging with her?) or "and never care
>about the consequence [while you're] passed out on your patio"? In
>that sense the lack of punctuation doesn't hurt, but helps. (I'm less
>enthusiastic about the lack of apostrophes; consider putting them in.)
>
>In that respect, the line I enjoyed best was the penultimate
>
>> you may change the way you look
>
>-- the last phrase meaning either, "the way you appear," or "the way
>you look at things."
>
>I didn't really understand the last line -- it's relatively easy for a
>woman to change her name -- but I interpreted it as, "you can never
>change who you really are" and it came across as OK that way. I don't
>understand, though, why the commas after "never": I realize you pause
>there in the song, but they do nothing in the written text but
>distract, especially as they're the only punctuation.




== 7 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 3:05 pm
From: "spazzmattick"


"=z=" <shul...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:f92f36a8-b6f9-49a8...@r5g2000yqb.googlegroups.com...
> if the shoe fits...
>
> what's the matter my love
> why such a sad face
> you left your shoes out in the rain
> barefoot in the wrong place
> stand amid the broken glass
> step softly where you go
> you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> come back inside my love
> a storm might blow you away
> you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> never knew quite what to say
> whatever happened to your innocence
> you misplaced it long ago
> and never care about the consequence
> passed out on your patio
>
> it's a shame your heads a mess
> and your souls been so abused
> the quiet times are still loud as hell
> and your life here so misused
> looks like you made a wrong turn
> somewhere along the line
> a pipers tune led you away
> and you missed that one way sign
>
> don't try to run away
> too many thorns are in that road
> and did you have your pills today
> to help you with that heavy load
> well it's a drag you've had such pain
> no one around you seems to care
> they've all seen just what you got
> and that can be had anywhere
>
> you laugh and think that you're so cute
> when in fact no one's amused
> you can't recall what you did last night
> and just stand there so confused
> your mother's screaming on the phone
> about something that you missed
> you never will quite understand
> it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> go back to sleep my love
> let the dreams take you away
> I guess you do what you have to do and
> tomorrow's just another day
>
> just remember that when you wake
> and everything is still the same
> you may change the way you look
> but you can never, change your name
> you will never, change your name
>
> http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948



was that a skip, or just the same song from
a year ago being played yet again?

you're great...you're talented...you've got
great potential...

now, if you'll just lay off the sauce long enough
to get yer shit together, you might actually go
someplace with it.

there's always a market for the touchy feely stuff.

otherwise, be the altruistic starving artist type
sloshing around a pathetic newsgroup spitting bourbon
possessed words at everybody...see if i care.

spazzmattick





== 8 of 8 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 4:44 pm
From: "=z="


On Nov 22, 6:05 pm, "spazzmattick" <inoneearandoutyermot...@home.com>
wrote:
> "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:f92f36a8-b6f9-49a8...@r5g2000yqb.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
>
>
> > if the shoe fits...
>
> > what's the matter my love
> > why such a sad face
> > you left your shoes out in the rain
> > barefoot in the wrong place
> > stand amid the broken glass
> > step softly where you go
> > you wouldn't want to cut yourself
> > but that's a thing only you would know, yea
>
> > come back inside my love
> > a storm might blow you away
> > you've sure been one hell of a ride and I
> > never knew quite what to say
> > whatever happened to your innocence
> > you misplaced it long ago
> > and never care about the consequence
> > passed out on your patio
>
> > it's a shame your heads a mess
> > and your souls been so abused
> > the quiet times are still loud as hell
> > and your life here so misused
> > looks like you made a wrong turn
> > somewhere along the line
> > a pipers tune led you away
> > and you missed that one way sign
>
> > don't try to run away
> > too many thorns are in that road
> > and did you have your pills today
> > to help you with that heavy load
> > well it's a drag you've had such pain
> > no one around you seems to care
> > they've all seen just what you got
> > and that can be had anywhere
>
> > you laugh and think that you're so cute
> > when in fact no one's amused
> > you can't recall what you did last night
> > and just stand there so confused
> > your mother's screaming on the phone
> > about something that you missed
> > you never will quite understand
> > it's no wonder you're so pissed
>
> > go back to sleep my love
> > let the dreams take you away
> > I guess you do what you have to do and
> > tomorrow's just another day
>
> > just remember that when you wake
> > and everything is still the same
> > you may change the way you look
> > but you can never, change your name
> > you will never, change your name
>
> >http://soundclick.com/share?songid=2290948
>
> was that a skip, or just the same song from
> a year ago being played yet again?
>
> you're great...you're talented...you've got
> great potential...
>
> now, if you'll just lay off the sauce long enough
> to get yer shit together, you might actually go
> someplace with it.
>
> there's always a market for the touchy feely stuff.
>
> otherwise, be the altruistic starving artist type
> sloshing around a pathetic newsgroup spitting bourbon
> possessed words at everybody...see if i care.
>
> spazzmattick- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Thanx...I'll hic try hic two remember that hic...
=zaholic= hic





==============================================================================
TOPIC: LUNCH
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/fec55548ff613a41?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 9:27 am
From: George Dance


On Nov 20, 8:25 pm, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote:
> On Nov 20, 8:05 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Nov 20, 7:36 pm, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > > LUNCH
>
> > > New York
> > > beefsteak rye
> > > blankets
> > > thin sliced
> > > Boar’s Head
> > > bologna
> > > with an Andy Boy
> > > lettuce bed
> > > Ba-Tampte seeded
> > > deli mustard
> > > and complimented
> > > by a Heinz dill
> > > quartered
> > > cole slaw
> > > Diet Coke quencher
> > > and a watery eyed
> > > burp.
> > > Ah, survival!
>
> > Sounds like an afternoon at the Rye Ridge Deli...yum...thanx, now I
> > have to go make a sandwich...!   8 (- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> It's the simple things in life, =z=

Well, you know, that's something I can't do. i've been told that a
good poet can write about anything and make it poetry, and that's what
I think keeps me out of the league. I can't turn the mundane into
anything but mundane, and frankly I'm not inspired to try. (I
remember, when I started exploring writing sites on the web, one gave
as it's first lesson: "Write a poem about your sneakers" (I guess
you'd call those 'trainers' -- here in Canada we say 'runners' or
running shoes'). I tried, but all that accomplished was to frustrate
me, and I never did go to Lesson 2.

The downside of that, of course, is that i go through dry periods when
I don't write at all, because I can't find anything to write about. It
can be a problem, and I don't know exactly how to overcome it.

.




== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 6:23 pm
From: Will Dockery


On Nov 20, 8:05 pm, "=z=" <shull...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 20, 7:36 pm, BLACKPOOLJIMMY <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > LUNCH
>
> > New York
> > beefsteak rye
> > blankets
> > thin sliced
> > Boar’s Head
> > bologna
> > with an Andy Boy
> > lettuce bed
> > Ba-Tampte seeded
> > deli mustard
> > and complimented
> > by a Heinz dill
> > quartered
> > cole slaw
> > Diet Coke quencher
> > and a watery eyed
> > burp.
> > Ah, survival!
>
> Sounds like an afternoon at the Rye Ridge Deli...yum...thanx, now I
> have to go make a sandwich...!   8 (

Same here! Since I'm headed to Del Ranch right now for some
performance with my music pals there, I'm in luck, since DR also
serves one of the best steak & baked potato dinners in the area.

--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs







==============================================================================
TOPIC: Del Ranch $.99 taco bar & open mic Sunday
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/5698cc151f1fcfcc?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 11:52 am
From: "Orson Wells as CitizenCain"



"Will Dockery" <will.d...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:67ab5b2f-7a8c-4898...@g27g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...


>
> No prob[SMACK]


You don't even TRY to hide the fact that you're a post-editing douche, DO
you?






== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 11:52 am
From: "Orson Wells as CitizenCain"



"Will Dockery" <will.d...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:483fdec0-396b-4b5a...@s15g2000yqs.googlegroups.com...


>
> No prob[SMACK]


You don't even TRY to hide the fact that you're a post-editing douche, DO
you?






== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 6:10 pm
From: Will Dockery


"Orson Wells as CitizenCain" <noem...@here.invalidd> wrote:
>
> You don't even TRY to hide

From you? No...

--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs







==============================================================================
TOPIC: Poutine
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/325d0963189f5b53?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 5:05 pm
From: prettystuzz


In article
<3ab9f2bf-ad60-4c6c...@f20g2000vbl.googlegroups.com>,
George Dance <george...@yahoo.ca> wrote:

> On Nov 21, 11:14 pm, prettystuzz <leich...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
> > In article
> > <4e49a0d2-c88d-4082-88af-921884f29...@m13g2000vbf.googlegroups.com>,
> >  George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> >
> > > > Maybe you're thinking about
> > > > so-called linking verbs and how they allow a sentence's putative
> > > > grammatical subject and predicate to be 'inverted' without any violence
> > > > done to meaning, e.g., 'PoutineisCanada'snationalfood' and 'Canada's
> > > >nationalfoodispoutine'. Either never mind, or I'll wait.
> >
> > > (Some would say it's 'putain.) That's a good example, but it's not one
> > > I was thinking of.
> >
> > Evidently I'm a plagiarist in fact though not in deed. This evening I
> > opened my current New Yorker to find that the Globe and Mail's Roy
> > MacGregor had written it's possible that "thenationalfoodofCanadais
> > nowpoutine", according to Calvin Trillin in FunnyFood:
> >
> > (the link is to the article's Abstract, but the MacGregor quote appears)
> >
> > http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/11/23/091123fa fact trillin
> >
> > (at the New Yorker's website you can listen to Trillin read his article).
>
> I wouldn't worry about plagiarizing either Trillin or MacGregor; the
> phrase isn't original to either ot them. NBC was calling it that back
> in July, and it was being suggested long before then. The first NY
> print mention I found was:
>
> Arguably the Canadian national food, poutine originated in Quebec
> around the mid-20th century and is traditionally made with fries,
> gravy and cheese curds.
> By Shani R. Friedman, NewYork Press, Sep. 24,2008.
>
>
> However, I found a mention on an American blog from six months
> earlier.
>
> I insisted on eating poutine while I was in Montreal for the jazz
> festival last summer. I was in Quebec, and I was determined to eat the
> national dish.
> mslass, Serious Eats, May 6, 2008.
>
> The earliest I could track down for a Canadian paper was:
>
> If you visit Quebec for the 400th anniversary celebrations, don't
> leave without enjoying the regional specialty that has become a
> national comfort food: poutine.
> Bonnie Stern, Weekend Post (no date, but obviously before July 2008).
>
> And the earliest claim I found, period, was from Feb.5, 2006, by
> "bcory," on the blog Roadfood.com:
> Poutine is our national food
>
> http://www.roadfood.com/Forums/Poutineanyone-else-like-it-m122068-p2.aspx
>
> Though it was suggested here on usenet as far back as July, 1999:
>
> it's like asking if canada has
> a national food item.....the US is known for it's fast food..burgers
> and fries....what do we have???? maybe poutine!!!
> "snarfude," alt.music.canada
>
> http://groups.google.ca/group/alt.music.canada/msg/8625e6856c8fde77?hl=en
>
>
> Here's some interesting trivia from the blog Montreal Poutine:
>
> In a November 1991 CBC report on poutine, Canada's largest broadcaster
> asked, on-camera, the Quebec premier Robert Bourassa if he liked
> poutine. He immediately walked away from the podium, "I'm sorry, I
> have to go, I have a really important meeting." His office refused to
> answer the question in follow-up calls. The same question to the
> opposition Parti-Quebecois leader Jacques Pariseau [sic] got the exact
> same response: he refused to answer, either directly on-camera, or in
> calls to his office.
> http://www.montrealpoutine.com/?history

I mentioned poutine on rap in 2001. It's quite different in print.
Whenever I said it, though, people thought it was 'a dirty word'. I had
poutine at some sandwich cafe somewhere in Kaybeck between Montréal and
Québec in 1984. I can't recall if I liked it or didn't. I remember
thinking how much that wilderness was like the coal and mill towns of
Western Pennsylvania I know well, especially the residents. To strangers
or outsiders they would appear rude, even mean. I know I didn't like the
french fries I ordered, made from a bulk bag of frozen, crinkle-cuts.
It's about all there is anymore, and the most offensive thing about
those kind of fries is that they charge you for them. Nathan's Original
Famous Hot Dogs (in Manhattan, probably at Coney Island also) served
fresh, crinkle-cut fries so there would be something like 8X the frites
effect in each fry. When I asked at the sandwich joint about poutine,
what it was, it made me think of that culinary group of Western
Pennsylvanians I knew well from the many diners - the diner restaurants
that were built like train cars - who ate french fries with gravy. To me
that seemed to defeat the purpose of des frites unique qualities (even
though the gravy was always delicious). But so too had the efficiency of
mass-frying the potatoes and dumping them into a pan to stay ready under
the heat lamp defeated the purpose. A famous sandwich joint (and also a
chain) in Pittsburgh, Primanti's, puts fresh-made fries on every
sandwich along with cole slaw, tomato slices, and sour pickles on
thick-sliced, very airy Italian bread (but like most places that offer
'fresh-cut' fries, they leave the skin on to save labor and figure you
won't notice it as contempt). In Paris I had merguez (spicy North
African sausage) frites sandwiches on strictly law-abiding baguette
quarters. In New England I behaved Romanly and had fries with malt
vinegar, sometimes with mayonnaise; and I recall those condiments were
popular in Toronto. The best fries I had in Toronto were at Switzer's on
Spadina (where Kensington Market is). Their fries weren't crisp, but
they were very dark from the overused, seldom changed hot grease.
Something about poutine and Cincinnati-style spaghetti the poet in me
sees as cognate. Some Guadalajara dark enchilada sauces on a cheese
enchilada is something like poutine. Except for at my sister's and my
niece's, I haven't eaten out (or ordered in) in more than a year because
there's nothing out there except salted crap without feathers. I haven't
ordered in since I was a student in college.





==============================================================================
TOPIC: MySpace in China
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/705df262315655cd?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 6:16 pm
From: Will Dockery


George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
>Peter J Ross <p...@example.invalid> wrote:
>
> > > China has
>
> > three billion residents
>
> So China's another subject you know nothing about, PJ. You're a
> veritable Renaissance ignoramus, aren't you?> --

Poor PJR... his "persecution campaign" seems to have bounced back at
him... Karma Bombs, y'know.

--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs







==============================================================================
TOPIC: Meat Plow's Twinkie addiction
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/t/4db59a7befe1fa52?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 22 2009 6:20 pm
From: Will Dockery


On Nov 18, 5:36 pm, "G&tSP" <gand...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On Nov 18, 11:43 am, Meat Plow <m...@petitmorte.net> wrote:
>
> > On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:32:23 -0800 (PST), "G&tSP"
> > <gand...@yahoo.ca>wrote:
>
> > >Seriously, though, I'm getting concerned about Meat Pie. He's
> > >going through some pretty severe mood swings -- his behavior is
> > >becoming increasingly erratic -- and I'm wondering if it could be due
> > >to all those Twinkies.
>
> >  just plain fucking retarded.
>
> Maybe that's all it is. But you do seem to be getting worse.

MP seems to have his good days and his bad days...

--
"Truck Stop Woman" by Will Dockery (the video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvtQEf7bnfs






==============================================================================

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