let's pretend to be writers -- the top ten list
$Zero
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
let's pretend to be writers -- the top ten list
until the writers strike is over, the David Letterman show
(and many others) are stuck in repeats.
INTRODUCING: the misc.writing daily top ten list.
...
DAVE LETTERMAN: so, without further ado, from our home office in MWV,
tonight's top ten Hillary Clinton Oprah-canceling Endorsements.
i don't know if you've been following the election, Paul.
PAUL SHAFER: i hear that Bush's term is ending in January, 2009.
A P P L A U S E
DAVE LETTERMAN: yeah, heh heh. i heard that too.
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: so what does that have to do with tonight's top ten
list, Mr. Letterman?
DAVE LETTERMAN: did i say it did?
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: sorry, my mistake.
L A U G H T E R
[Paul looks down at his keyboard and leads the band in a Beatles riff]
PAUL SHAFER (singing): "Don't let me down!... Don't let me down!"
DAVE LETTERMAN: heh heh. but seriously. anyway...
last weekend, Oprah Winfrey hit the campaign trail for Barrak Obama.
her media influence is legendary.
PAUL SHAFER: legendary.
DAVE LETTERMAN: yes. with nothing more than a smile, she can sell
authors' books off every shelf in America.
PAUL SHAFFER: too bad there's a writers strike.
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: so after her public endorsements of Obama during a
few stump speeches in America's heartland, polls suggest that about 1%
of voters admitted that their vote will be influenced by the media
giant.
PAUL SHAFER: legendary media giant.
DAVE LETTERMAN: will you please stop that?!
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: yes, sir.
DAVE LETTERMAN: sweating bullets, the Hillary Clinton campaign is
racing to cancel out the "Oprah effect".
PAUL SHAFFER: in other words, to counter the Oprah effect.
DAVE LETTERMAN: yes, Paul.
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: so here's tonight's top ten Hillary Clinton Oprah-
canceling Endorsements
PAUL SHAFER: to hopefully offset the Oprah effect?
DAVE LETTERMAN: [lays index cards down on desk and stares at Paul for
five seconds]
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: [yelps] heeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaahhhhhh... hhhhh...
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: hhhhh... rrr... ooooo...
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: top ten Hillary Clinton Oprah-canceling
Endorsements...
Number ten -- Maury Povich!
L A U G H T E R
Number nine -- Regis Philbin!
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: Regis, well sure.
DAVE LETTERMAN: hee hee.
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: remember, now, Paul, this is the top ten Hillary
Clinton Oprah-canceling Endorsements.
PAUL SHAFER: legendary media giant, Oprah Winfrey.
DAVE LETTERMAN: will you please stop that!
L A U G H T E R
Number eight -- The announcer dude from dancing with the stars!
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: to offset that 1% Oprah Effect.
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: i'll sure be glad when that writers strike is over.
L A U G H T E R
PAUL SHAFER: yeah, this is way too surreal.
L A U G H T E R
DAVE LETTERMAN: Number seven -- Bob Barker!
L A U G H T E R
...
i leave the rest to the other denizens of mw.
-$Zero...
superlatives -- the ultimate in headline tools?
or the least effective way to suck readers in?
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/2eecf1fd99709b4a
after awhile, you figure out why nothing ever changes
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/d10e71396a9d48db
the greatest thing about freedom is...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/25b38ce7ca97f1e4
if pot became legal...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e797b0b281cb4d56
i'm living in a dreamworld
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/a24bd0200ef3c6aa
sloppy writing
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/0e3c2d36e91c3258
i'm not in a good mood today
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/32d64a6536212b3b
i haven't used a pen for several months
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/157b54f5d6089ef1
threading thru the history of clothing
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/b47c8110c1c59759
who, for no practical reason, types only with his pinky fingers.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/ce39b0c0696d1aa8
cha' ching!
cha' ching!
cha' ching!
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/76439cf26bf114d0
after 25 years of computing, i'm thinking about learning to type.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/ff6fcb757570cadc
generate some new threads, you lazy fucks!
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e7a2a1c85bbfeb9d
follow the bouncing google sig links (Part I)
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/0fd2ff32e9686809
words that wound
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/b94ab1c2a46be60c
something you never thought of before
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/1d731a2526de4fae
Stupid Guy Contest -- Rules and Regulations
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/12e7468741681247
a good person is a person who...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/6169bb41bc2341d2
the way words work
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/9f37a3d1b1d8a631
negative influences
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/61ced974affd639c
courage
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/bbdce2fb755ecfc0
is this the best post i could write right now?
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/3df0e1c9adf7a586
i'm saying that IF 3 + 3 = 5 AND 2 + 2 = 3 + 3 AND 3 > 2
then well, what i'm saying is that there's a perfectly logical
mathematical reason for all of that. and because of that logical
reason, 2 + 2 = 5 under those conditions.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/7b2f9851a850f65c
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/8185f17c55cd605d
john.ku...@sympatico.ca
You're not going postal or anything like that are you?
$Zero
<john.kulczy...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> $Zero wrote:
> > [repost from this morning -- google error?]
>
> > original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnjb8Hx76u8
-$Zero...
let's pretend to be writers -- the top ten list
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/fefbd1fd24cf3e55
Ray Haddad
card" and "$Zero" <zero...@gmail.com> instead replied:
>> > =EF=BF=BD i'm saying that IF 3 + 3 =3D 5 AND 2 + 2 =3D 3 + 3 AND 3 > 2
>> > =EF=BF=BD then well, what i'm saying is that there's a perfectly logical=
>
>> > =EF=BF=BD mathematical reason for all of that. and because of that logic=
>al
>> > =EF=BF=BD reason, 2 + 2 =3D 5 under those conditions.
>> > =EF=BF=BDhttp://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/7b2f9851a850f65=
>c
>> > =EF=BF=BDhttp://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/8185f17c55cd605=
>d
>>
>> You're not going postal or anything like that are you?
WILLIAM SHATNER: "Xero. Mad cow."
--
Ray