shit his dad says...
$Zero
"Just pay the parking ticket.
Don't be so outraged.
You're not a freedom fighter
in the civil rights movement.
You double parked."
-- Justin
@shitmydadsays
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets, the first of
which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers on
Twitter.
here's his latest tweet, posted just before noon on November 11th:
"Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
People should have to call you and ask for
the rights to lazy before they use it."
-- Justin
@shitmydadsays
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
behold the power of words.
and funny fathers.
-$Zero...
you're probably a brainwashed sap if...
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/07f70d481ea1ac86
Alan Hope
$Zero
> On Tue, 3 Nov 2009 03:16:33 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>
>
> >shit his dad says...
>
> > "Just pay the parking ticket.
> > Don't be so outraged.
> > You're not a freedom fighter
> > in the civil rights movement.
> > You double parked."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
>
> >so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets, the first of
> >which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
>
> >yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers on
> >Twitter.
>
>
> > "Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
> > People should have to call you and ask for
> > the rights to lazy before they use it."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
>
> >almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
>
> >behold the power of words.
>
> >and funny fathers.
>
> >-$Zero...
>
> > you're probably a brainwashed sap if...
>
> ... you fall for the latest Tweeter hype.
it's because i'm such a sap.
-$Zero...
that's why it's often better to just go for a nice healthy walk.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/0e3fa798d1de847c
john.ku...@sympatico.ca
sap flows. nuts fall.
Grand Mal
"Koolc...@smurfsareus.xxx" <john.ku...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:fb2a0c70-6896-4c4b...@g23g2000yqh.googlegroups.com...
sap flows. nuts fall.
fleas ride, fuck 'em all.
Alan Hope
Alan Hope
You are. You think Justin gets all that stuff off his Dad? He doesn't
make it up?
$Zero
>
> >> -$Zero...
>
> >> that's why it's often better to just go for a nice healthy walk.
> >> http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/0e3fa798d1de847c
>
> >sap flows. nuts fall.
>
> Zero's nuts have still to fall.
what would you know about having balls
other than marveling at the size of others?
-$Zero...
so, in other words, you have no use for history whatsoever.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/d6da54e22f402c15
$Zero
>
> You are.
i know.
> You think Justin gets all that stuff off his Dad?
like i give a flying fuck.
> He doesn't make it up?
sure sounds authentic.
-$Zero...
there are endless opportunities... to be a good friend.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/f296adeba048718f
Alan Hope
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:
>sure sounds authentic.
<snort>
$Zero
> On Wed, 4 Nov 2009 02:26:59 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >sure sounds authentic.
>
> <snort>
man oh man, i am _such_ a gullible fucking sap.
and you're not.
i'm so ashamed and embarrassed.
-$Zero...
In this moving picture
we'll peer across time...
into the year 2000...
INTO...
The Astounding World of the Future!
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/c89f5f7f79748262
Alan Hope
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:
>On Nov 4, 10:57�am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Wed, 4 Nov 2009 02:26:59 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >sure sounds authentic.
>>
>> <snort>
>
>man oh man, i am _such_ a gullible fucking sap.
>
>and you're not.
>
>i'm so ashamed and embarrassed.
>
>-$Zero...
The penny drops.
$Zero
bwah!
-$Zero...
was that one of the funniest videos you've ever seen, or what?
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/c89f5f7f79748262
$Zero
> shit his dad says...
>
> "Just pay the parking ticket.
> Don't be so outraged.
> You're not a freedom fighter
> in the civil rights movement.
> You double parked."
> -- Justin
> @shitmydadsays
> http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
>
> so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets, the first of
> which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
>
> yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers on
> Twitter.
>
> here's his latest tweet, posted just before noon on November 11th:
>
> "Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
> People should have to call you and ask for
> the rights to lazy before they use it."
> -- Justin
> @shitmydadsays
> http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
>
> almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
>
> behold the power of words.
>
> and funny fathers.
update:
this dude was written about on the HuffingtonPost.
"A Twitter user who runs the account 'ShitMyDadSays' has just landed a
deal to take his Tweets to TV.
CBS has decided to create a comedy project based on the Twitter
account, which is run by 28-year-old Justin Halpern.
[...]
@ShitMyDadSays has over 700,000 followers and, in addition to the CBS
deal, recently landed a book contract."
'Shit My Dad Says' User Gets CBS Comedy Deal (PHOTOS, NSFW)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/10/twitter-to-tv-shit-my-dad_n_352354.html
...
as of a few minutes ago:
73 tweets total.
763,251 followers
on 14,402 lists.
-$Zero...
Carrie Prejean, Larry King, and Inappropriateness!
(was: Lou Dobbs, CNN, Sarah Palin, and Oprah!)
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/943d35940b67da97
$Zero
> On Nov 3, 6:16 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > shit his dad says...
>
> > "Just pay the parking ticket.
> > Don't be so outraged.
> > You're not a freedom fighter
> > in the civil rights movement.
> > You double parked."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
>
> > so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets, the first of
> > which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
>
> > yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers on
> > Twitter.
>
> > here's his latest tweet, posted just before noon on November 11th:
that was supposed to be November 1st, not the 11th.
> > "Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
> > People should have to call you and ask for
> > the rights to lazy before they use it."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
>
> > almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
>
> > behold the power of words.
>
> > and funny fathers.
>
> update:
>
> this dude was written about on the HuffingtonPost.
>
> "A Twitter user who runs the account 'ShitMyDadSays' has just landed a
> deal to take his Tweets to TV.
>
> CBS has decided to create a comedy project based on the Twitter
> account, which is run by 28-year-old Justin Halpern.
>
> [...]
>
> @ShitMyDadSays has over 700,000 followers and, in addition to the CBS
> deal, recently landed a book contract."
>
> 'Shit My Dad Says' User Gets CBS Comedy Deal (PHOTOS, NSFW)
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/10/twitter-to-tv-shit-my-dad_n_...
Alan Hope
And Zero's all jealous. If only he'd thought of it, creative genius
that he is. If only he'd thought of anything.
Some creative genius. No ideas yet. Only in his forties, though. Still
time, although the word "genius" might be pushing it a bit.
$Zero
> On Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:56:57 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >On Nov 3, 6:16 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> shit his dad says...
>
> >> "Just pay the parking ticket.
> >> Don't be so outraged.
> >> You're not a freedom fighter
> >> in the civil rights movement.
> >> You double parked."
> >> -- Justin
> >> @shitmydadsays
> >> http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
>
> >> so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets, the first of
> >> which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
>
> >> yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers on
> >> Twitter.
>
>
> >> "Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
> >> People should have to call you and ask for
> >> the rights to lazy before they use it."
> >> -- Justin
> >> @shitmydadsays
> >> http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
>
> >> almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
>
> >> behold the power of words.
>
> >> and funny fathers.
>
> >update:
>
> >this dude was written about on the HuffingtonPost.
>
> >"A Twitter user who runs the account 'ShitMyDadSays' has just landed a
> >deal to take his Tweets to TV.
>
> >CBS has decided to create a comedy project based on the Twitter
> >account, which is run by 28-year-old Justin Halpern.
>
> >[...]
>
> >@ShitMyDadSays has over 700,000 followers and, in addition to the CBS
> >deal, recently landed a book contract."
>
> > 'Shit My Dad Says' User Gets CBS Comedy Deal (PHOTOS, NSFW)
>
> >...
>
> >as of a few minutes ago:
>
> > 73 tweets total.
>
> > 763,251 followers
>
> > on 14,402 lists.
>
> And Zero's all jealous.
you mean envious, surely.
i mean, an English language pedant such as yourself who drools over my
every post would not make such a glaring grammatical error, right?
> If only he'd thought of it, creative genius that he is.
LOL
> If only he'd thought of anything.
yeah, if only.
> Some creative genius. No ideas yet.
there are no ideas involved, whatsoever.
because ideas do not exist.
(let alone original ideas, bwah!)
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/3fab51e1d10bffb4
> Only in his forties, though.
late forties.
48.
every day, i still marvel at my age.
how can it possibly be?
if i survive the next 12 years i'll be 60, FFS.
60.
and lately, the days pass by so quickly, 60 might as well be
yesterday.
> Still time, although the word "genius" might be pushing it a bit.
creative moron.
i like it.
has a nice ring to it.
i'll have to do a quick whois on that baby, to try to snatch it up.
if it's already taken, i suppose i could settle for creative imbecile
or some such.
-$Zero...
i really am quite the moron.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e5301cba87fefc76
Alan Hope
Oh? Explain to me the distinction.
>> If only he'd thought of it, creative genius that he is.
>LOL
>> If only he'd thought of anything.
>yeah, if only.
>> Some creative genius. No ideas yet.
> there are no ideas involved, whatsoever.
> because ideas do not exist.
> (let alone original ideas, bwah!)
> http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/3fab51e1d10bffb4
Blah
>> Only in his forties, though.
>late forties.
>48.
>every day, i still marvel at my age.
>how can it possibly be?
>if i survive the next 12 years i'll be 60, FFS.
>60.
>and lately, the days pass by so quickly, 60 might as well be
>yesterday.
Your whole life is yesterday.
>> Still time, although the word "genius" might be pushing it a bit.
>creative moron.
>i like it.
>has a nice ring to it.
And suits you to a T.
>i'll have to do a quick whois on that baby, to try to snatch it up.
Ask Wendy.
>if it's already taken, i suppose i could settle for creative imbecile
>or some such.
>-$Zero...
>
> i really am quite the moron.
> http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e5301cba87fefc76
$Zero
explain it to yourself, pedant-boy.
you know perfectly well why jealousy could not apply.
neither does envy, but that's besides the point.
> >> If only he'd thought of it, creative genius that he is.
> >LOL
> >> If only he'd thought of anything.
> >yeah, if only.
> >> Some creative genius. No ideas yet.
> > there are no ideas involved, whatsoever.
> > because ideas do not exist.
> > (let alone original ideas, bwah!)
> > http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/3fab51e1d10bffb4
>
> Blah
triple blah.
> >> Only in his forties, though.
> >late forties.
> >48.
> >every day, i still marvel at my age.
> >how can it possibly be?
> >if i survive the next 12 years i'll be 60, FFS.
> >60.
> >and lately, the days pass by so quickly,
> >60 might as well be yesterday.
>
> Your whole life is yesterday.
so far, yep.
except, of course, for today, and all those tomorrows.
i live moment to moment, just like everyone else.
and i constantly learn from the passage of true history.
sometimes even preferring the past.
for various reasons.
"Oh, I believe, in yesterday..."
-- Noodles
> >> Still time, although the word "genius" might be pushing it a bit.
> >creative moron.
> >i like it.
> >has a nice ring to it.
>
> And suits you to a T.
which is why i like it so much.
> >i'll have to do a quick whois on that baby, to try to snatch it up.
>
> Ask Wendy.
ask her what?
how to say "creative moron" in Latin?
or how to be a delusional petty fuckhead?
i'm not the least bit interested in either of those.
> >if it's already taken, i suppose i could settle for creative imbecile
> >or some such.
> >
> >-$Zero...
>
> > i really am quite the moron.
> > http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e5301cba87fefc76
-$Zero...
that's a beaut. right into the sig file.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/a67b2dedbb462dcd
Alan Hope
$Zero
this is your favorite lame.
this is your favorite lame on crack.
any questions?
-$Zero...
you know perfectly well why jealousy could not apply.
neither does envy, but that's besides the point.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/b538f03f21a58db0
$Zero
>
> > shit his dad says...
>
> > "Just pay the parking ticket.
> > Don't be so outraged.
> > You're not a freedom fighter
> > in the civil rights movement.
> > You double parked."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4972894967
>
> > so far, this hilarious dude has posted only 68 tweets,
> > the first of which was made on Aug 3rd, 2009.
>
> > yet, as of a few minutes ago, he's attracted 671,416 followers
> > on Twitter.
>
>
> > "Oh please, you practically invented lazy.
> > People should have to call you and ask for
> > the rights to lazy before they use it."
> > -- Justin
> > @shitmydadsays
> > http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/5340755912
>
> > almost a million subscribers in just a couple months.
>
> > behold the power of words.
>
> > and funny fathers.
>
> update:
>
> this dude was written about on the HuffingtonPost.
>
> "A Twitter user who runs the account 'ShitMyDadSays' has just
> landed a deal to take his Tweets to TV.
>
> CBS has decided to create a comedy project based on the
> Twitter account, which is run by 28-year-old Justin Halpern.
>
> [...]
>
> @ShitMyDadSays has over 700,000 followers and, in addition to
> the CBS deal, recently landed a book contract."
>
> 'Shit My Dad Says' User Gets CBS Comedy Deal (PHOTOS, NSFW)
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/10/twitter-to-tv-shit-my-dad_n_352354.html
yikes.
back then, i didn't even know about the book deal.
wtg, Justin.
> ...
>
> as of a few minutes ago:
>
> 73 tweets total.
78
> 763,251 followers
857,555
> on 14,402 lists.
17,718
"Everybody's broke, so here's the rule
for Christmas this year; if you still
shit your pants, you get a present.
Otherwise tough shit."
-- Justin
@shitmydadsays
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/6016686974
2:27 PM Nov 24th from web
> -$Zero...
>
> Carrie Prejean, Larry King, and Inappropriateness!
> (was: Lou Dobbs, CNN, Sarah Palin, and Oprah!)
> http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/943d35940b67da97
-$Zero...
so they announced today that
there's water on the moon!
and it only took 40 years to discover it.
...
but seriously, way to go, NASA!
...
no, i kid the space program.
keep up the good work.
love that Tang, and whatnot.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/1fec264b560d50e2
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e700d991b491bc6a