Talk about the rules

[Manuel Acosta]

By far one of my favorite bike blogs to read. Kinda of bias since I'm friends with these gentlemen.

But nevertheless fun read.

http://www.boyzonthehoods.com/lets-talk-about-the-rules/#comment-278

[Tom Goodmann]

Thanks for the link--enjoyable. And the "Velominati" made me laugh, as well; The Rules seem quaint, from sometime before blood doping etc blew the Tour wide open, and not where cycling is headed now, world-over.

[Ron Mc]

American Posterior Man Satchel (Acorn) complete with blinkie  

I think I got the last one - looks like Ron discontinued the Acorn tubular bag.  (astounded by how much stuff I can put in here in addition to folded tubulars)

Last weekend, on my upright, I crossed a 300-lb guy busting out of his bib - he looked up longingly at my baggy MUSA shorts and moustache cockpit.  I'm glad he was riding, and hope he keeps it up, but he was on the wrong bike and in the wrong togs.  

[Mike]

Thanks for sharing this Manny, it was an enjoyable read. The Rules are pretty funny and there is something cool about them if taken tongue & cheek. 

I think of Grant's Tips for Happy Riding as a Rivendell version of The Rules.

http://www.rivbike.com/kb_results.asp?ID=60

Oh, then there's Surly's version:

http://surlybikes.com/blog/post/some_answers_to_just_about_any_bike_forum_post_ive_ever_read

--mike

[Ron Mc]

great links - as always, Grant's make the most sense.  

[Christopher Wiggins]

The "rules" keep people from enjoying their bikes.  Not a big fan of that.

On Wednesday, September 4, 2013 11:55:28 PM UTC-4, Manuel Acosta wrote:

[NickBull]

In the famous words of Eddy Merckx, "Just follow these 100 rules and you will be a successful bike rider."  Oh, wait, he never said that...  What a bunch of prissy little poseurs these rule makers are.

[Anne Paulson]

Somebody posted the Rules on my bike club's site. When I called them
on it, they said, oh, they're just a joke. Yeah, sure, except that
I've seen how people who break the rules are treated on club rides.
Not nastily, because my club is full of nice people, but rather
condescendingly. There's one woman who sometimes shows up in perfectly
appropriate street clothes, on an old upright Specialized Stumpjumper
(really nice bike). And the general attitude among other riders is
that she needs to go buy a carbon fiber bike and lycra clothing. I
don't know her financial situation, but in general I find it deeply
offensive to assume that everyone has thousands of dollars to go out
and buy expensive bikes and expensive clothing, particularly when the
classic bike they have is just fine.

On Thu, Sep 5, 2013 at 7:44 AM, Christopher Wiggins <tsot...@gmail.com> wrote:
> The "rules" keep people from enjoying their bikes. Not a big fan of that.

--
-- Anne Paulson

It isn't a contest. Enjoy the ride.

[dougP]

Don't have time to plow thru all The Rules at the moment (got about one-third of the way before getting a bit bored) but do they mention kickstands?  We have a subversive group in our bike club that delights in parking our bikes on kickstands, if plain site of the carbonic armada. 

dougP

[Mike Schiller]

...actually I think there are some good rules there... yea, some are a little bizarre and don't make sense.  And I'm sure most of the bizarre ones are just for fun.  

I'm actually more put off by this blog piece than the list.  They seem to have missed the point of it all.  I think they took it way to seriously.  

Can't we all just ride?  

~mike

On Wednesday, September 4, 2013 8:55:28 PM UTC-7, Manuel Acosta wrote:

[Tom Goodmann]

I relish the smirks that meet the drop of the kickstand on my Sam!  Better than leaning it against a light pole in a coffee stand parking lot crowded with "crabon" bikes, as BikeSnobNYC likes to call them.  Nice photo, Ron Mc!

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[Tom Goodmann]

Right on all counts, Mike: we can all just ride. I think "The Rules" are pretty funny too--and likely read so for many "followers," though maybe not for all.  It has been great to see the cycling community here in Miami become a) much more visible and b) much more varied in recent years, including (just to name a few) bike polo players (who started up a local bike collective repair shop), a strong fixed-gear set; weekend fast club riders; students of all stripes; people who use a bike to get around, per need. A pretty good mix is now more evident of ages, ethnicities, genders, budgets--and bikes.  I just happen to be among those who have discarded carbon (and aluminum), reducing my rides to steel. And yet the number of bikes has multiplied!?  I do appreciate the rule that says the ideal number of bikes is n + 1 . . . .

[Ron Mc]

snobbery is human nature, and a the $-largest sports/entertainment market on the planet is not going to be short of snob appeal.  

A few rungs down is fly fishing, and I often use techy bike sales kids as an analogy to techy fly shop sales kids.  My favorite fly fishing essay by John Gierach, "Bugs," is about Armstrong's Spring Creek, and the hexagenia hatch when fly fishing snobs from all over the world converge and sit around in the coffee shop speaking Latin and bird feathers.  The local guides call it The Neoprene Hatch.  But at the river, the guy catching all the fish is wearing Red Ball waders, t-shirt and ball cap, fishing an old fiberglass rod, and when asked what fly, says, "This big yellow bug.  The river is covered with them and when I throw it out they eat it up."  

[William]

I think the majority of The Rules are good rules.  I break plenty of them, and obsessively follow a lot of them as well, even some of the pointless ones.  I bet I follow more of the rules than Manny does.  But I'm much more of a poser conformist than Manny is.  

On Wednesday, September 4, 2013 8:55:28 PM UTC-7, Manuel Acosta wrote:

[Leslie]

On Thursday, September 5, 2013 2:30:48 PM UTC-4, Ron Mc wrote:

snobbery is human nature, and a the $-largest sports/entertainment market on the planet is not going to be short of snob appeal.  

A few rungs down is fly fishing, and I often use techy bike sales kids as an analogy to techy fly shop sales kids.  My favorite fly fishing essay by John Gierach, "Bugs," is about Armstrong's Spring Creek, and the hexagenia hatch when fly fishing snobs from all over the world converge and sit around in the coffee shop speaking Latin and bird feathers.  The local guides call it The Neoprene Hatch.  But at the river, the guy catching all the fish is wearing Red Ball waders, t-shirt and ball cap, fishing an old fiberglass rod, and when asked what fly, says, "This big yellow bug.  The river is covered with them and when I throw it out they eat it up." 

Ha!!!
I would have thought, a few rungs up....  

Ok, I have to admit, MSL, which is my local Riv dealer, is also an Orvis shop, and it popping by the fly shop that I spotted the Riv's...

By Orvis standards, I'm a poor boy.  I see/know/am friends w/ a lot of the 'well-heeled' set, who have to have the latest vice, or some rare feather, or the newest rod, or a handbuilt bamboo, and every trip is guided...    I've got several rods, and I think they're great ones, but to a lot of folks, they'd think them bottom-of-the-barrel... I have a used hand-me-down tying vice, and pick up bits for tying from local craft stores instead of fly shops...  I use cheapy hooks, and tie lots, so if I lose 'em, I'm not 'out' an expensive fly...  I've never had a guide, I just go fishin' w/ my buddies, who are capable of being guides themselves...  just two different realities....   

Good comparison, tho'.....

[Jimmy Hutch]

90/92 rules are complete horseshit. I personally love #12 ( http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/#12 ) and #5 ( http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/#5 ), respectively. I recognize the conflict because if I was a bit harder, I would be able to get by with a single steed, rendering #12 moot. A Hilsen or Bombadil or Atlantis would do the trick. But if I was a bit harder, I'd be able to get by with a Quickbeam or Simple One. But if i was a bit harder, I could...I could go on and on about how different life would be if I worked on #5.

But #12 is so much more fun. And easier.

-Jimmy

[Robert Barr]

Manny, thanks for posting this. I was laughing all through the list. Some of the comments remind me that humor doesn't  always travel well... Bob (Indianapolis)

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[Deacon Patrick]

Humor travels just fine. Sometimes it lands in hostile territory and gets slaughtered.

With abandon,

Patrick

[Robert Barr]

Patrick, well said, as usual. Always glad to know you are out there.

[Deacon Patrick]

Thanks, Robert. I'm out there all right! I wasn't sure if I should put a "grin" on that one, but thought I'd see what happens. Grin.

With abandon,

Patrick

[dougP]

I could see the "grin" from here.  Wonder how much time was spent developing "the rules"?  I finally plowed thru the  whole lot, only to find myself in violation of any number:  beard, mirror, bags-on-bikes, excess water bottle size & number, absolutely lost on the helmet & glasses issue, etc., etc. 

dougP

[Robert Barr]

As Doug wrote - the grin was there - I could almost see the pipe in the smile!

[Ron Mc]

Leslie, my point was that people proud of their stuff and their activities get their feelings hurt just as often in fly shops just as often as they do in bike shops, by "well-informed" sales people who may not have or share the experiences of the people they're taking to task.  

Both are 100-year-old technology.  If you don't rate index shifting as a milestone, the last true innovation in bicycles was the chain (it was preceded by the derailleur).  

My favorite fly rods were made during and 70s and before - Phillipson glass, Thomas and Leonard cane.  

This rod shows up in the 1915 to 1922 William Mills & Son catalog - it's the first true 3-weight ever sold.  

btw, I know a lot of river roads in the Texas hill country where you can't park a car, but a bike is OK.  

bikefish 

As far as the original post goes, it's way cool, showing the Velominati can make fun of themselves.  However, when tech outshines all else, usually when a neophyte is trying to buy something, Just Ride probably suffers.  

[William]

"90/92 rules are complete horseshit"

That's a bit hyperbolic, isn't it?  Here are ten that are good (not the only ten)

#2:  Be a good example
#3:  Help those that have things to learn
#6:  Don't think too much.  Enjoy the ride
#9:  It doesn't have to be sunny to ride
#14:  Black cycling shorts look better than colored cycling shorts
#15:  Black cycling shorts look better even for the guy leading a Grand Tour
#16:  Only somebody who has won a big race should wear a champ jersey
#17:  Only paid pros should wear pro kits
#19:  Introduce yourself when you ride with strangers
#22:  Cycling caps are for cycling

If any of those were complete HS, you could invert them and make them better.  The opposite of any of those is a lot worse, unless you think it's cool for amateurs to wear pro team kits.  Or unless you think it's better not to introduce yourself or not help newbies.  Lots of those rules are good.  Not all of them, but a lot of them. 

[Andy Williams]

According to those who know, the first rule is, "Break all the rules!"

Andy

[Philip Williamson]

I'll be working on #5 for the foreseeable future.

I thought The Rules were very well written, with a clear sense of respectful silliness. I'm happy my riding mates are accepting of anyone willing to ride ten miles on a bike. The ride leader adheres to every rule (I mean Rule), with a clear focus on helpfulness and complete composure on the bike. I sidestep most of the Rules by riding a "road" bike with discs and 60mm Big Apples that I've only ever heard referred to as "that thing," as in, "you climb pretty fast on that thing," which means slower than the fast guys, faster than the slow guys, and about on par with the fit woman on the full suspension mountain bike.

Philip
www.biketinker.com

[Ron Mc]

Sorry to maintain this fly fishing and bicycling analogy, but it is apropos.  HG Wells said, "Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race."  
Contagion is the key.  If you're a contagious bicyclist, or a contagious fly fisherman, it's because you turn into a kid when you're practicing your affiction.  

You're an affictionado.  

The absolute best times I've ever had fishing were filming episodes of TU On The Rise, and KT Diaries, because the people I was fishing with were just like me - we all turned into kids and had fun above all else.  

me on the left, Frank Smethurst in the middle, Jimbo Roberts on the right.  

[Tom Goodmann]

+1 on that point, Ron: I always feel like a happy kid again on a bike, every single time. And I am never happier than when on a stream with family and friends, or alone, as well.  Rules?  Fun to make; fun to break among aficionados of various spots and stripes. As I think has been said on this forum, riding a steel-frame bike is kind of like choosing to fish a split cane rod. It's a preference, a choice that feels good for me, and brings me in contact with very good folks on the road and on the water.  My priorities include improving my skills, and introducing others to these two pleasures of fly fishing and cycling (and all the various maladies attendant).  

By the way, I've seen both of those enjoyable episodes in which you appear, Ron; some on this list may not know that in the world of vintage fly tackle, you are a widely respected authority on fly reels, in particular, able to turn "clunk" into smooth clicking again, and very generous with your knowledge. It helps to know How Things Work!  --Tom (Miami, where there's bass water everywhere)

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[Deacon Patrick]

In our house we only have one rule and everyone is responsible for following it and helping others follow it. "Uphold Right Relationship." Seems to me it works for everything.

With abandon,

Patrick

[Scott Henry]

The only one that matters is Rule #5.  Next time I'm in the shop getting some tattoo work done, I'm seriously considering adding it. 

Long live the Velominati

Scott

Cheers,
Scott Henry
Dayton, OH

FTM-PTB

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[Eric Platt]

Rats.  Looks like there are one or two I haven't broken yet.  Need to get out there and work on them.

 

Now, how to attach a mirror...

Eric Platt

St. Paul, MN

[William]

My biggest and most consistent violations are #33 and (obviously) #43

[Ross Sponholtz]

I enjoyed reading the rules, mostly because it enumerated a lot of the silly stuff we obsessed about back when I raced (and I'm sure the racers still obsess about).  Stuff like Tan Lines, No Mirrors, Saddle must be level, etc etc.  I literally LOL'd when I read "the rules".  However, I've never understood rule 29: no EPMS.  I actually tried carrying my stuff in my jersey pocket and it drove me nuts.  In my rule book, tools, tubes and money go in the saddle bag, phone, banana and fig newtons (old school) go in the pockets.

[Leslie]

#11 is the one that bothers me, that I don't find as funny, but the story that goes with it is kinda amusing...
#29 and #30 (saddlebags and framepumps), and #33 and #50 (shaved legs and faces), yeah, I bust on those.....

[Patrick Moore]

This is a rule that is always true and should be applied to Rivendell's caps. Me, I add an extra touch of cool (or dork) by folding the last half-inch of stock caps over to shorten the visor. Or perhaps I just have a low brow.

"

1. The visor. This is the most important part. Visors should be short. This is because the purpose of a cap is to be worn while riding, and when the head is tipped down as you move to The V-Locus, you need to be able to see up the road to where the guns will detonate without tilting your head up in order to see past the visor.  As with the above, a new wave of caps (again by Pearl Izumi and Castelli) have been made with a too-long visor.  These visors are also strictly forbidden in general and for wearing under the helmet in particular."

On Sat, Sep 7, 2013 at 7:59 AM, Leslie <leslie...@gmail.com> wrote:

#11 is the one that bothers me, that I don't find as funny, but the story that goes with it is kinda amusing...
#29 and #30 (saddlebags and framepumps), and #33 and #50 (shaved legs and faces), yeah, I bust on those.....

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[Patrick Moore]

As in being "casually deliberate" -- example, when you've killed yourself hauling in a distant rider and, putting on a burst of speed to pass him impressively, you casually lift a finger in greeting and murmur "nice bike" -- carefully suppressing your gasping and your impulse to gag with fatigue.

On Fri, Sep 6, 2013 at 10:21 PM, Ross Sponholtz <rspon...@gmail.com> wrote:

I enjoyed reading the rules, mostly because it enumerated a lot of the silly stuff we obsessed about back when I raced (and I'm sure the racers still obsess about).  Stuff like Tan Lines, No Mirrors, Saddle must be level, etc etc.  I literally LOL'd when I read "the rules".  However, I've never understood rule 29: no EPMS.  I actually tried carrying my stuff in my jersey pocket and it drove me nuts.  In my rule book, tools, tubes and money go in the saddle bag, phone, banana and fig newtons (old school) go in the pockets.

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[Garth]

 Forget about this rule, that rule .... any and all  rules ...... even no rules ;)

Really ... just forget about everything that does not serve you to the Highest Degree of Goodness ..... and Be the Truth :)

[Ron Mc]

I live in the hill country north of San Antonio.  Standard ride from my house is down to the creek bottom, follow the creek road, then climb to the next neighborhood park - it's a 20-mi round trip (ends in a grueling climb for me).  People haul their bikes from San Antonio to ride it - the parking lot in the park fills up and people also park in "downtown" Bulverde and make the ride.  It's also worked into a lot of club rides.  But every time I ride it, I see a quorum of cyclists.  Today I took notes.  Most people were on late model aluminum frame road bikes.  Saw a couple of other steel road frames, and a couple of uprights.  But the togs were split about half-and-half between lycra and baggy nylon.  So there may be hope...

[George Schick]

Tongue in cheek humor or otherwise, some of these rules could be taken seriously.  #77 is one of them.  Now, I have don't necessarily have anything against discarding the peelings or cores of eaten fruit along a ride, because they are biodegradable.  But do they have to be just dropped right in the middle of the road or trail??  I used to always be able to tell where the racing types took their training rides out in the county because I came across their banana peels in the middle of the road.  Was it too difficult to at least flip it over to the ditch where it's not so unsightly?  I figure it's either because 1) they never learned to ride without hands on the bars and couldn't manage to sit up and toss it, 2) they dropped it there on purpose to let YOU know that THEY had come this way, or 3) "I'm, like, dropping this wherever I feel like and it's in your face if you don't like it, dude!"  Hmmm...sounds like an additional rule or two might be in order.

[Steven Frederick]

Heh, I got a twofer by putting a TakeALook mirror on my helmet visor...

[Irv]

Thanks for the post Manny.

We've gotten a lot of good (and other not so good) responses on the internet and I'm glad Carlin's discussion of The Rules has started a discussion with other cyclists.

Here's my addendum to Carlin's rules: http://www.boyzonthehoods.com/lets-talk-about-the-rules-the-sequel/

[Ron Mc]

or the evil storm chasers in Twister...