"The Bozo March!!!..." (Re: What do you call having urges for poking ones own eyes out when seeing sharp objects?)

Colonel Jake

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May 4, 2008, 1:21:11 AM5/4/08

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Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com> of Alt.Comedy.Standup
<da46f0e8-97d1-4835...@i36g2000prf.googlegroups.com>
: Tommy Joe <jo...@bellsouth.net>
: > Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com>
: > : "You know how when you see a knife or pointy object
: > : sitting on a counter top and you just want to pick it
: > : up and start poking your eyes out? Is there a name for
: > : that condition?"
: > :
: > : Yeah ... it is funny ... followed up by "you know how
: > : when you see a cup of urine ... or a bowl of
: > : shit ... a loaded gun ... cash & cleavage at a bank
: > : teller window ...
: > :
: > : - Bozo -
: > :
: >
: > Yes Bozo, it's the style I was talking about, or the
: > format, or whatever it's called. You can't stand there
: > doing it all night, but now and then it's funny to come
: > up with something like that. You know how you look at a
: > total stranger and just have this really incredible urge
: > to slaughter them? Is there a name for that?
: >
: > Tommy Joe (bozophobia)
: >
:
: ... you know how shit on a stick won't come
: off unless you ...
:

Wipe?,
"Wipe it off with?!?!?!,...., Bozo's lips!!!..."

You?,
"YoU GoD DAMNED!!! (BoZoHoLE de NIRo)..."

¸,.,¸
:And then some...
`^'^´

:
: -Skip-
:

Bozo

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May 4, 2008, 2:20:38 AM5/4/08

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... excuse me but that's the "Million-Man Bozo March" to you, clown.

-Skip-

Rick_bari3(at)NOTatBbMaleBUTt@Gmail•ComByteME

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May 9, 2008, 7:42:07 AM5/9/08

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[On, whoGivZAratzAzd
ATE...]

NOTatBbMaleBUT@Gmail•comByte"ME"wRIGHTs:

-Skip-?

(TOdaLou=7)
"ME"
(darling=?)...

(AndThen=?),

(ShhHhON=7)(ASstICK=7) "U"
(spEEKof=?)...

(BUTT1st=7),

(hOWduzA=?)
(SHhHhON=7)
(AZstICK=7)
(GetZder=?)
(INda1st=7)
(DAMplac=?)

(AndThen=7),

(WipeOFF=7)
(w/BoZos=7)
(UPPERor=7)
(LOWrLIP=?)

(GET-IT?=?)...
(IfY'all=7)
(DOntGET=?)...
(YalDOnt=7)

(GET-IT?=?)
(...etc•=7)

(AndThen=7)

(DIS2x2"=7)
(screen,=7)
(SuxsBIG=7)
(ti"ME"!=?)

(LUV"ME"=?)
(tw(j)at=7)EVER•••=7

(Bmember=?)

(TiltYo'=7)
(Head_TO=7)
(LeftHeh=?)

(Tw(j)at=7)
(DuYAcee=?)

(kNOTyou=7)
(PUzYcat=?)

> • <

ChattyDaisy

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May 10, 2008, 4:01:03 PM5/10/08

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On May 3, 11:20 pm, Bozo <Bozo_De_N...@37.com> wrote:
> ... excuse me but that's the "Million-Man Bozo March" to you, clown.
>
> -Skip-

Bozo, what do you call it when you take a steak knife and can't help
but give yourself a tracheotomy every spring?

Regards,
Daisy

Omaha man says this was his second self-tracheotomy

The 55-year-old Omaha man who performed a tracheotomy on himself with
a steak knife says he did the same thing to himself two years ago.

Steve Wilder said Friday that his throat is shrunken because of
radiation treatments for cancer. Those treatments ended four years
ago, but scar tissue remains. He said seasonal allergies may have
caused his struggle to breathe overnight April 30.

"I didn't feel no pain. I was just trying to survive," Wilder said in
his high-pitched, gravelly voice. "I got relief right away. There was
a big gush of blood, and I was able to start sucking in air."

Wilder said he fell asleep watching television in his basement but
awakened when he felt himself suffocating. His wife, Cora, called an
ambulance.

"I thought they might get here fast enough that I wouldn't have to do
that," he said. "But I couldn't breathe no more."

He bolted for the kitchen and picked up a steak knife and made a
quarter-inch incision.

"I knew that would chop it open pretty good," he said.

After medics took him to a hospital, he was given antibiotics to
prevent a possible infection. The next day his physician inserted a
tube in his throat.

Wilder, who did not give his occupation, said he's working again and
feeling good.

He said he's had three tracheotomies since 2004. He performed the
first one on himself in 2006 under similar circumstances.

"They think I might have some kind of allergy," Wilder said. "The only
time I get a shortage of wind is in the spring. It's seasonal."

A spokeswoman for Immanuel Medical Center, Lora Ullerich, said Friday
that because of federal medical privacy restrictions she would not be
able to comment on Wilder's situation.

A tracheotomy, a procedure that opens up the windpipe, typically is
done in a surgical setting. Wilder said he isn't ready to perform
tracheotomies on other people.

But his doctor told him that he did a pretty good job on himself.

"I told him we should split the bill then," Wilder said.

Tommy Joe

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May 11, 2008, 7:59:49 PM5/11/08

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Daisy, Stop trying to upstage the news reports by using your own
words as an introduction. This deceiftul and devious tactic is
obvious and therefore insulting to all you use it on. If you are
going to comment on the articles you choose to send to the group,
please put after the article. In fact, stop commenting, period. Just
send in the articles in a selfless and sharing manner. Save your
comments for your original posts, which will become fewer and fewer as
you become sucked into the lazy habit of using news reports to tell
your stories.

Tommy Joe (You Lazy Bum, You)

ChattyDaisy

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May 12, 2008, 4:39:24 PM5/12/08

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> Tommy Joe (You Lazy Bum, You)- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Fine, let's compromise. What day is ACS Share Day? I always liked Show
and Tell Day with the exception of this one kid who brought his ugly
Polish accordion and then played songs on it...

Regards,
Daisy

Tommy Joe

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May 13, 2008, 2:12:12 AM5/13/08

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ChattyDaisy wrote:
>
>
> Fine, let's compromise. What day is ACS Share Day? I always liked Show
> and Tell Day with the exception of this one kid who brought his ugly
> Polish accordion and then played songs on it...

I hate stupid school games. I hate school. But I never knew it
till I saw it in Ferris Beuller's Day Off.

Tommy Joe

Bozo

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May 13, 2008, 1:44:59 PM5/13/08

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ChattyD, ignore all those rants by Tommy about posting original
material unless you think it's worthwhile.

About your reprint on a tracheotomy, I think it illustrates the
importance of niche marketing, which is why I sent it to the Swiss
Army Knife People.

I think a trach tool for people like Wilder is worth considering. A
sharp pointy doo-hicky for poking through flesh and bone would be a
perfect addition to the "Rescue Tool & Knife of 2007" which you can
see at http://www.swissarmy.com/MultiTools/Pages/Product.aspx?category=doityourself&product=53900&

Or added perhaps to the 'Blue Swiss Army "Skipper" Knife' in honor of
my new nom de Guerre "Skipper" at http://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53663.asp

OR better yet it belongs on the all new "Swiss Army Altimeter Plus
Knife" at http://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53957.asp. I could see
a pointy little trach tool built into the "Altimeter Plus Knife",
perfect for sky divers worried about chute lines getting bunched-up
around their blow holes during free fall. Now that's a convincing
product demo I'd like to see on YouTube. Especially when they cut all
their lines.

-Skipper Bozo-

http://www.swissarmy.com/multitools/Pages/Category.aspx?category=doityourself&

ChattyDaisy

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May 13, 2008, 7:31:18 PM5/13/08

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> see athttp://www.swissarmy.com/MultiTools/Pages/Product.aspx?category=doity...

>
> Or added perhaps to the 'Blue Swiss Army "Skipper" Knife' in honor of

> my new nom de Guerre "Skipper" athttp://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53663.asp

>
> OR better yet it belongs on the all new "Swiss Army Altimeter Plus

> Knife" athttp://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53957.asp. I could see

> a pointy little trach tool built into the "Altimeter Plus Knife",
> perfect for sky divers worried about chute lines getting bunched-up
> around their blow holes during free fall. Now that's a convincing
> product demo I'd like to see on YouTube. Especially when they cut all
> their lines.
>
> -Skipper Bozo-
>

> http://www.swissarmy.com/multitools/Pages/Category.aspx?category=doit...- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

Is that how you did it Bozo? Did you use the Swiss Knife collection to
carve out, um, you know, the large ugly place?

Regards,
Daisy

Bozo

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May 13, 2008, 8:24:44 PM5/13/08

to

> >http://www.swissarmy.com/multitools/Pages/Category.aspx?category=doit...Hide quoted text -

>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Is that how you did it Bozo? Did you use the Swiss Knife collection to
> carve out, um, you know, the large ugly place?
>
> Regards,

> Daisy- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

Oh some of it was Swiss, some of it was Japanese, some of it was
Caterpillar. Here's a group photo of just some of the hardware and
excavation.

-Bozo "Can you dig it!" de Niro-

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/57410781.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1939847EC77F5F8D1CE7F92C05092A12AE6A40A659CEC4C8CB6

http://www.woai.com/media/news/7/f/b/7fbdde14-2bbc-4599-b798-17436eecd55e/Story.jpg

http://www.lazygranch.com/images/misc/oliely.jpg

http://www.mitsuimiike.co.jp/product/doboku/kuse.html

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.comedy.standup/browse_thread/thread/354d2e16c1d4988d/a13f13d0055c12e3?hl=en#a13f13d0055c12e3

http://www.walters-group.co.uk/images/d77%20400%20transp.gif

Colonel Jake

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May 14, 2008, 6:07:23 PM5/14/08

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<Subject: link restored>

<play 'The Bozo March' in teh background>
(http://www.coloneljake.com/media/bs.mp3)

ChattyDaisy <chatt...@hotmail.com>
<news:fc9d5ec7-d44f-45b5...@p39g2000prm.googlegroups.com>
:Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com>
:>Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com>
:>:ChattyDaisy <chatt...@hotmail.com>
:>:>Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com>
:>:>:ChattyDaisy <chatt...@hotmail.com>
:>:>:>Bozo <Bozo_D...@37.com>
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:ChattyD, ignore all those rants by Tommy about

:>:>:>:posting original material unless you think it's
:>:>:>:worthwhile.
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:About your reprint on a tracheotomy, I think it
:>:>:>:illustrates the importance of niche marketing, which
:>:>:>:is why I sent it to the Swiss Army Knife People.
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:I think a trach tool for people like Wilder is worth
:>:>:>:considering. A sharp pointy doo-hicky for poking
:>:>:>:through flesh and bone would be a perfect addition
:>:>:>:to the "Rescue Tool & Knife of 2007" which you can
:>:>:>:see at

:>:>:>:(http://www.swissarmy.com/MultiTools/Pages/Product.aspx?category=doit
yourself&product=53900)
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:Or added perhaps to the 'Blue Swiss Army "Skipper"

:>:>:>:Knife' in honor of my new nom de Guerre "Skipper" at

:>:>:>:(http://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53663.asp)
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:OR better yet it belongs on the all new "Swiss Army
:>:>:>:Altimeter Plus Knife" a
(http://www.princetonwatches.com/shop/53957.asp). I could

:>:>:>:see a pointy little trach tool built into the
:>:>:>:"Altimeter Plus Knife", perfect for sky divers
:>:>:>:worried about chute lines getting bunched-up around
:>:>:>:their blow holes during free fall. Now that's a
:>:>:>:convincing product demo I'd like to see on YouTube.
:>:>:>:Especially when they cut all their lines.
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:-Skipper Bozo-

:>:>:>:
:>:>:>:(http://www.swissarmy.com/multitools/Pages/Category.aspx?category=doi
tyourself)
:>:>:>:
:>:>:>
:>:>:>Is that how you did it Bozo? Did you use the Swiss

:>:>:>Knife collection to carve out, um, you know, the
:>:>:>large ugly place?
:>:>:>
:>:>:>Regards,

:>:>:>Daisy
:>:>:>
:>:>:
:>:>:Oh some of it was Swiss, some of it was Japanese, some

:>:>:of it was Caterpillar. Here's a group photo of just
:>:>:some of the hardware and excavation.
:>:>:
:>:>:-Bozo "Can you dig it!" de Niro-

:>:>:
:>:>:(http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/57410781.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A
4AD9FDB9CF1939847EC77F5F8D1CE7F92C05092A12AE6A40A659CEC4C8CB6)
:>:>:
:>:>:(http://www.woai.com/media/news/7/f/b/7fbdde14-2bbc-4599-b798-17436eecd
55e/Story.jpg)
:>:>:
:>:>:(http://www.lazygranch.com/images/misc/oliely.jpg)
:>:>:
:>:>:(http://www.mitsuimiike.co.jp/product/doboku/kuse.html)
:>:>:
:>:>:(http://groups.google.com/group/alt.comedy.standup/browse_thread/thread
/354d2e16c1d4988d/a13f13d0055c12e3?hl=en#a13f13d0055c12e3)
:>:>:
:>:>:(http://www.walters-group.co.uk/images/d77%20400%20transp.gif)
:>:>:
:>:>
:>:>I was reluctant to click on the links after once doing
:>:>so only to see your wide spread deformity. The links
:>:>surprised me; I always figured you were born like that
:>:>or had some disease whose name escapes me right now;
:>:>what do they call that disease where a person feels
:>:>strong desire to insert small kitchen appliances like
:>:>potato peelers, whisks, immersion technology blenders
:>:>and perhaps industrious ice cream scoopers into the
:>:>rectum? When need be how do you get an accurate body
:>:>temperature reading?
:>:>
:>:>Regards,
:>:>Daisy
:>:>
:>:
:>:You can poke fun all you want but unlike most people
:>:your age Goatse will never need to undergo a colonoscopy
:>:and the risks associated with it so eat your heart out.
:>:
:>:(http://groups.google.com/group/alt.comedy.standup/browse_thread/thread/8
f23076ee7acde6d?hl=en)
:>:
:>:-Bozo-
:>:
:>
:>MY PROCTOLOGIST JUST PHONED AND SAID "You asshole! That's
:>a sigmoidoscopy he can avoid not a colonoscopy." That
:>guy's a pain in the ass.
:>
:>-Bozo "That's not a light at the end of the tunnel, it's
:>a train coming toward you" de Niro-
:>
:
:All these excuses to pretend that it's not your own rectum
:photo. Admit it, you got out of control one night and
:snapped a few pictures of your rectum and now you regret
:it, but are too pompous to admit it.
:

A few photos?,
"Jesus Chatty?!?!?!,...., BozoHoLE DE NIRo has a whole
spread of them!!! (a whole freckin' Gallery)..."

So here you go? (ChattyDaisy),
"Poke your eyes out?!?!?!,...., with these!!!..."

--

Colonel Jake'sters:

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(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page200/)

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(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page201/)

Order of Lenin for Usefulness
(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page017/)

Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks der'KoOkshite
(http://club127.net/auk/)

¸,.,¸
:And then some...
`^'^´

:
:Regards,
:Daisy (embrace your diversity)
: