want to have a laugh? go to a mattress store.
$Zero
i no longer wonder why America is in trouble economically.
-$Zero...
Dick, W, and OJ
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/f5bb78ae3777dffb
serenebabe
> want to have a laugh? go to a mattress store.
>
> i no longer wonder why America is in trouble economically.
Laugh?
Oh my god. If I want to physically assault someone, I'll go to a
mattress store. I really almost hit a guy at one of those places a few
years ago. How clear is this, "I would like you to stop talking to me
now and leave me alone and I'll come get you and let you know if I need
to talk to you about these mattresses?"
Him?
"Sure, I understand... but let me just tell you about..."
FUCKER.
--
It's All About We! (the column)
http://www.serenebabe.net/ - new 10/27
$Zero
> On 2008-11-17 02:41:52 -0500, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> said:
>
> > want to have a laugh? go to a mattress store.
>
> > i no longer wonder why America is in trouble economically.
>
> Laugh?
>
> Oh my god. If I want to physically assault someone, I'll go to a
> mattress store. I really almost hit a guy at one of those places a few
> years ago. How clear is this, "I would like you to stop talking to me
> now and leave me alone and I'll come get you and let you know if I need
> to talk to you about these mattresses?"
>
> Him?
>
> "Sure, I understand... but let me just tell you about..."
>
> FUCKER.
yeah, you're on to the basic gist.
it's a lonnnng story, this mattress store thinger of mine.
it would take me a couple hours to write about it even though it only
took about five minutes, tops, to experience it.
a couple weeks ago, in order to make more room in my office, i tossed
out my king-size mattress and box springs to the curb.
for the last several years there they were on the floor taking up much-
needed office space (useful only when i was asleep).
mind you, most of the bed was covered with books and piles of papers
and whatnot anyway (leaving only the most minimal area free for me to
sleep), so i figured that a couple vertical shelving units would be
much more efficient. and i finally had the cash and time to shift
things around a bit.
ever since the garbage men loaded my sleeping tools into the grinder
one bright morning a few weeks ago, i've been sleeping in my office
chair and/or on the couch (when it was free).
it's been kinda disorienting.
i never feel like i'm caught up on my sleep anymore.
so a couple days ago, i finally decided to go buy a small mattress.
first i went to Sam's Club.
they didn't have nearly as wide of a selection as i had "remembered"
when i had seen the mattresses there for sale when i _wasn't_ in the
market for them.
so, after plowing thru the Sam's food section enjoying all manner of
free samples, i ventured off to the mattress store where i
surprisingly found that they had an even smaller selection of
mattresses to "choose" from than Sam's Club.
mind you, the whole store was full of mattresses, but the actual
variety was nearly non-existent (except in pricing, maybe).
as i walked in i noticed that there was only one person in the whole
place besides me.
and he hurried to the counter as the door buzzer alerted him to my
arrival.
five minutes worth of talking to this owner/operator/salesman
enlightened my whole perspective of the entire American economy.
but like i said, it's a lonnng story.
no time to tell it now.
except for the part midway during our five-minute discussion when i
heard some faint voices behind me and looked around and down to see
two women sprawled out on a bed giggling in quiet whispers.
i think they were employees.
and laying there giggling was their job.
-$Zero...
thought crimes
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/d13e1c78223c7de2