I think the concern is valid. It has been an issue long before the last 2 years when things got contentious and some people signed on to the mailing list just for alerts on events with no interest in being dragged into governance debates, disputes between volunteers, or issues you would rightfully be passionate to argue but only matter to subset of people.
HeatSync has always been about maximum transparency, but transparency doesn't mean we have to surface everything to one place. I've brought it up before (even made the discord as an alternative to the mailing list and slack) we should look into something that lets people decide what they want going to their inbox vs not, a forum, another platform meant for this sort of thing, anything. Maybe its just we agree to commit to discussing certain topics in person or link to a thread on slack, i tried doing this before unsuccessfully.
When in doubt, Hack Your Hackerspace should be the venue.
I also agree we shouldn't be carrying bickering into the physical space. It was mentioned people rehash old drama too. A lot of us do this. I know I've been guilty of participating in this and I've tried to be better but can fall short of my own standards sometimes.
On one hand I am for being radically whatever we are out in the open, even if thats a mess, on the other hand our continued growth and success relies on us demonstrating that we can be just as warm and welcoming online as we are in person.
In person we are doing overall well, the lab is growing, there has been more collaboration, activity, and programming. Real community building is happening. New people are stepping up to volunteer. The way things play out online here don't reflect that well and when that toxicity flows into meatspace thats a detriment. Its a flaw we have to own up to and start relegating heavy stuff to the appropriate venues.
Its also unsurprising, 1768 person mailing list, lots of differing opinions, lots of us neurospicy folks of varying degrees, different communication styles, and the courage that comes from being behind a screen...in any community that results in a lot of cruft, chaos, and riled feathers. Google groups also isn't as well moderated.
We'll never be perfect, but we should acknowledge this and make conscious efforts to improve our communication (myself included).
I personally completely stopped using the mailing list for nearly a decade for awhile because it got so bad even back then, greatly improved my mental health and I'm likely to do the same again after a resolution on the current conflict.
Also, I just get the weekly digests, I don't know if there is anyone who gets everything in their inbox as they come in, if so...how do you live?!