So I said to this train driver "I want to go to
Paris". He said "Eurostar?".
I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to
do the splits?".
He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make
Tuesdays".
So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there
was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt. He said
"You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take
that as a condiment".
Do you know I've got a friend who's fallen in love
with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
But I'll tell you what I love doing more than
anything: trying
to pack myself in a small suitcase. I
can hardly contain myself.
Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and
a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well
the other day there was a fire at the factory that
makes them.
So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of
people's pants, it was Weggie Kray.
So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK
then", I said "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa",
I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt
saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of
snow. I rang her up, I said "Do you get my drift?".
So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want
to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",
he said "Those are pickled onions".
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came
up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle
like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC
duck".
But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I
entered a competition
and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.
Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a
jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of
twiglets.
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house
and talk about your carpets?". I thought "That's all I
need, a Je-hoover's witness".
You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter.
So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report
a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
Now did you know all male tennis players are witches,
for example Goran, even he's a witch.
So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman
wrapped in a barcode.I said
"Are you two an item?".
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load
of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
--
Dazza
"I don't want to be quoted, and don't quote me that I don't want to be
quoted" - Winston Burdett
--
http://come.to/nutter426
http://come.to/nutters_webcam
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/wishlist/10I6CDUX2ZNJ2
"Dazza" <darryl...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:Z9Ju7.29190$qi.38...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"Dazza" <darryl...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:Z9Ju7.29190$qi.38...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
What did i do?
Genie <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pfosc$ilg86$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
Who's next in line for the stand up?
--
DSR
"Dazza" <darryl...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:Z9Ju7.29190$qi.38...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
DSR
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pfosc$ilg86$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
"The Riddler" <w...@tearp.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9pfsil$f1c$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
got him out the woodwork though didn't it:o)
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pgtlq$imerd$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"The Riddler" <w...@tearp.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9pfsil$f1c$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9phc2g$j3lhr$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
Genie <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9phc1i$ie48t$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
Genie <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9phc2g$j3lhr$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9phc1i$ie48t$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9phc2g$j3lhr$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pjgra$isuqq$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pjgs5$j6i17$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
You can keep your snots to yersel young lady ;-)
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pjvf7$irg61$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pjgra$isuqq$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
Not fair!!!!
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pjve5$it73g$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:SUyv7.17151$GT3.2...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pmi55$k0hjf$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
Guy Power!!!!!!
:-)
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pmi55$k0hjf$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pmil5$j2rcj$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
In message <bIBv7.18263$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, The
Riddler <dino...@virgin.net> writes
--
Sharon on the net
MSN duche...@hotmail.com
Yahoo Messenger: veenus_inspace
AOL instant message: SSO111
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+======
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pmi55$k0hjf$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:mIBv7.18264$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:bIBv7.18263$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
how you feeling now anyway?
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100237363...@eos.uk.clara.net...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pn34q$jel4m$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:bIBv7.18263$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
DSR
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100237363...@eos.uk.clara.net...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9png4v$jpa0h$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pn5hm$k0jp5$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9png41$jlpn4$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100239398...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
The Confusious Ant
"I'm a walking economy," a man was overheard to say "
"My hairline's in recesiion, my waist is a victim of inflation,
and together they're putting me in a deep depression."
SupaGirl <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pno2i$jglkp$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
The Confusious Ant
"I'm a walking economy," a man was overheard to say "
"My hairline's in recesiion, my waist is a victim of inflation,
and together they're putting me in a deep depression."
B A T M A N <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100239398...@eos.uk.clara.net...
As if!!!!
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9png41$jlpn4$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pn5hm$k0jp5$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pn35k$jpfi4$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
;-)
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pn34q$jel4m$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
Guy Power!!! ;-)
-----
The views in this e-mail does not necessarily represent the views of the
sender but are meant to be deliberately provocative to members of the female
gender.
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100237363...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:ywTv7.27184$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:vuTv7.27157$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:StTv7.27149$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:StTv7.27149$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:vuTv7.27157$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pp7ai$jqr23$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244858...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244854...@eos.uk.clara.net...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pp9er$jnipk$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244950...@eos.uk.clara.net...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppagv$jf8gr$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100245173...@eos.uk.clara.net...
Personally, I don't think Genie's THAT bad... ;-P
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:wrXv7.29421$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> <runs away screaming>
>
> "DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
> news:9pp1ta$jud61$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pp7ai$jqr23$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pp1ta$jud61$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
:-P
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244858...@eos.uk.clara.net...
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100245173...@eos.uk.clara.net...
a) They feel better
b) I might get a sh@g
As far as being in a room full of men... well.. it all depends
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244851...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:jrXv7.29418$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:100244854...@eos.uk.clara.net...
And to think he was going to give me a hug!!!
<shudder>
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:uyXv7.29509$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:GHXv7.29640$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9pph9p$jv4q6$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
I'd rather be in a room with 50,000 ugly men than 50,000 ugly women
;-)
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pphbl$k2jqs$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
At the present ratio, I think a third of each would be gay/lesbian... Which
room would you rather be in?
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:9RXv7.29779$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:oRXv7.29784$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:9RXv7.29779$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
I mean, I'm ugly, but I'm fun to be with... aren't I?
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppi93$k3t02$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
The Confusious Ant
"I'm a walking economy," a man was overheard to say "
"My hairline's in recesiion, my waist is a victim of inflation,
and together they're putting me in a deep depression."
The Riddler <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:9RXv7.29779$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9ppiv9$jqdd6$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppk1c$jdhih$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9ppkfm$js742$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppkjp$j4tv8$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
In message <9ppk1c$jdhih$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de>, SupaGirl
<supa...@btinternet.com> writes
--
Sharon on the net
MSN duche...@hotmail.com
Yahoo Messenger: veenus_inspace
AOL instant message: SSO111
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+======
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"sharon" <Sha...@tower-forte.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:XQGWibBs...@tower-forte.demon.co.uk...
--
DSR - Witch
"Oh bugger..."
"sharon" <Sha...@tower-forte.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:XQGWibBs...@tower-forte.demon.co.uk...
In message <9ppkfm$js742$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de>, DSR
<afp...@lineone.net> writes
--
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppd8f$jnvvn$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> Lol i never saw he's teeth
>
> --
> SupaGirl xx
> http://devoted.to/supagirl
>
> "B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:100245173...@eos.uk.clara.net...
> > He was smiling, a rather suspicious smile too, probly up to no good.
;-)
> >
> > --
> > http://wakeup.to/BATMAN
> >
> >
> > "SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> > news:9ppagv$jf8gr$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> > > what you doing looking in he's mouth lol
> > >
> > > --
> > > SupaGirl xx
> > > http://devoted.to/supagirl
> > >
> > > "B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:100244950...@eos.uk.clara.net...
> > > > yep, they are too perfect to be his own.....lol
> > > >
> > > > --
> > > > http://wakeup.to/BATMAN
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:9pp9er$jnipk$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> > > > > lol you sure...
> > > > >
> > > > > --
> > > > > SupaGirl xx
> > > > > http://devoted.to/supagirl
> > > > >
> > > > > "B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > > > news:100244858...@eos.uk.clara.net...
> > > > > > They "re False.......lolol
> > > > > >
> > > > > > --
> > > > > > http://wakeup.to/BATMAN
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:9pp7ai$jqr23$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> > > > > > > my, what big teeth you have ;-))
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > --
> > > > > > > SupaGirl xx
> > > > > > > http://devoted.to/supagirl
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > "The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:vuTv7.27157$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > > > > > > > Yep
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > ;-)
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > news:9pn34q$jel4m$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> > > > > > > > > You growling at me ;-))
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > --
> > > > > > > > > SupaGirl xx
> > > > > > > > > http://devoted.to/supagirl
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > "The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > >
> news:mIBv7.18264$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > > > > > > > > > Grrrrrrrr
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > "SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > > > news:9pmil5$j2rcj$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
> > > > > > > > > > > hahahahah
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > --
> > > > > > > > > > > SupaGirl xx
> > > > > > > > > > > http://devoted.to/supagirl
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > "DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:NrXv7.29423$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:uyXv7.29509$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:9RXv7.29779$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
"SupaGirl" <supa...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:9ppk1c$jdhih$1...@ID-92298.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pplpd$ju2gu$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:10024624...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:10024627...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:10024626...@eos.uk.clara.net...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"B A T M A N" <bat...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:10024625...@eos.uk.clara.net...
In message <9pplpd$ju2gu$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de>, DSR
<afp...@lineone.net> writes
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pphbl$k2jqs$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
> IT DEPENDS?!?!??!?!?!?
>
> And to think he was going to give me a hug!!!
>
> <shudder>
>
>
> --
> DSR - Witch
>
> "Oh bugger..."
>
"The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
news:9RXv7.29779$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> Was not!!!
>
> I'd rather be in a room with 50,000 ugly men than 50,000 ugly women
>
> ;-)
>
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9ppkfm$js742$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9pp1ta$jud61$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
> I'm warning you... I've got a lethal weapon!!!
>
> --
> DSR - Witch
>
> "Oh bugger..."
>
> "The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
> news:ywTv7.27184$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > <lowers voice an octave>
> >
> > As if!!!!
> >
> >
> > "DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
> > news:9png41$jlpn4$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
> > > Just, don't get putting you arms around me and pouting, okay?
> > >
> > > --
> > > DSR
> > >
> > >
> > > "The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
> > > news:bIBv7.18263$jE3.2...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > > > Definately.......
> > > >
> > > > Guy Power!!!!!!
> > > >
> > > > :-)
> > > >
> > > > "DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
"DSR" <afp...@lineone.net> wrote in message
news:9ppgrf$jp4hg$1...@ID-42227.news.dfncis.de...
> See?
>
> Personally, I don't think Genie's THAT bad... ;-P
>
> --
> DSR - Witch
>
> "Oh bugger..."
>
> "The Riddler" <dino...@virgin.net> wrote in message
> news:wrXv7.29421$jE3.3...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > <runs away screaming>
--
Kat
Try to spend the next 30 seconds *not* thinking about a blue-eyed polar bear
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pppe1$jqh0p$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
--
SupaGirl xx
http://devoted.to/supagirl
"Genie" <Genies...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9pppa9$jgc14$1...@ID-40928.news.dfncis.de...
"Just Kat" <kat...@kathead.screaming.net> wrote in message
news:9ppqa8$k02ui$1...@ID-40987.news.dfncis.de...