ED CONRAD LITTLE THE WORSE FOR WEAR

[Intrepid]

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MAHANOY CITY, Pa (Rueters) -- Yes,
Virginia, miracles DO HAPPEN every
now and then.
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Ed Conrad actually was unconscious,
certainly not dead, while he lay bare-ass
naked on the table in the chilly mortuary
ready to get his first healthy dose of
embalming fluid last night.
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As it was about to be injected, the
ice-cold "corpse" suddenly sat up,
yawned and casually remarked, "Boy,
am I ever hungry!"
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The funeral director and his assistant
were shocked further when Ed angrily
asked: "Can someone PLEASE get me
a blanket because I'm freezing my balls
off."
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Not bad for the man who shot himself
four or five times in the head in what
the Schuylkill County coroner had
described as "an unfortunate gunning
accident."
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Consequently, Ed is now in a hospital
recovering from his gunshot wounds
and is rather confident that, in a few
weeks, a good plastic surgeon will be
abe to patch the egg-size holes in his
head.
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It also should be noted that the
Requiem Mass as well as the funeral,
scheduled for Wednesday, have been
cancelled.
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A family spokesman said Ed not
only is happy to be alive but also
thanks the millions of people who
undoubtedly prayed like hell for
the miracle.
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"He especially appreciates the
kindness of those who had sent
'Get Well' cards but wants it known
that he has a special fondness for
those that contain cash."
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< EARLIER STORIES
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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/465d09685becafc5#
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http://www.edconrad.com/wellread.html