THE FIRST RESURRECTION SINCE PONTIUS PILATE.

[Good Gawd!]

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MAHANOY CITY, Pa (Rueters) -- Yes,
Virginia, miracles DO HAPPEN every
now and then.
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Ed Conrad actually was unconscious,
-- certainly not dead -- while lying bare-ass
naked on the table in the chilly mortuary
awaiting his first dose of embalming fluid
last night.
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As it was about to be injected, the
ice-cold "corpse" suddenly sat up,
yawned and casually remarked, "Boy,
am I ever hungry!"
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The funeral director and his assistant
were shocked further when Ed angrily
asked: "Can someone PLEASE get me
a blanket. I'm freezing my balls off."
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Not bad for the man who shot himself
four or five times in the head in what
the Schuylkill County coroner had
described as "an unfortunate gunning
accident."
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Consequently, Ed is now in a hospital
recovering from his gunshot wounds
and is rather confident that, in a few
weeks, a good plastic surgeon will be
abe to patch the egg-size holes in his
head.
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It also should be noted that his
Requiem Mass and funeral, scheduled
for Wednesday, have been canceled.
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A family spokesman said Ed not
only is happy to be alive but also
thanks the millions of people who
undoubtedly prayed like hell for
his safe return to the living.
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"He especially appreciates the
kindness of those who sent 'Get Well'
cards but wants it known that he has
a special fondness for all cards that
contain cash."
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< EARLIER STORIES
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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/465d09685becafc5
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WARNING: DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE
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http://www.edconrad.com/wellread.html