Honk if you love Jesus joke
Jason
Dear Son,
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if
you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I
bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an
uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had
changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there,
the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his
window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started
waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few
times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back
there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw
another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in
the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that
meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian Love Symbol.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and
gave him the Hawaiian Love Symbol back.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they
wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed
the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers
grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the
light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after
all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the
window and gave them all the Hawaiian Love Symbol one last time as I drove
away.
GOD'S IMPROVEMENT
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime story.
From time to time she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then
his again. Finally, she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago.
"Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
at it, isn't he?"
tirebiter
There's a joke there? Being a stupid christian is funny? Even
christians couldn't see anything to be amused about in this post.
Seriously Jason. What is wrong with you?
---
a.a. #2273
Father Haskell
> at it, isn't he?"
Poor child.
Olrik
> Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
> at it, isn't he?"
- Grampa : "Kid, just hope "god" doesn't give you leukemia first."
panam...@hotmail.com
snip
We've addressed meaningless "fuzzy feeling" posts like yours to
alt.atheism for quite some time now.
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.atheism/msg/dec9b2041391b7f6
In the future, please try to keep up.
-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015/Member, Knights of BAAWA!
Mike Jones
The toxic meme is strong in this one.
--
*=( http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/
*=( For all your UK news needs.
Fred
>I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there,
>the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his
>window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
ROFL!
>Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
>at it, isn't he?"
Fucking diabetic, that was.
---
Wikileaks Cablegate documents: http://213.251.145.96/cablegate.html
Wikileaks mass mirror: http://www.wikileaks.nl/mass-mirror.html
Doc Smartass
news:Jason-10121...@67-150-174-39.lsan.mdsg-pacwest.com:
> GRANDMA'S LETTER:
>
> Dear Son,
We hijack this lameness to bring you a classic jeeeeebus joke.
It's a dark and rainy night at the motel. The desk clerk's bored off his
mind, wishing it was 7 am already so he can go home.
There's a flash of lightning, and the sound of someone at the door--a
customer, at this time of night?!
A disheveled hippie comes in, walks to the counter, and puts three big-
ass nails and a hammer thereupon; then he says, "Could you put me up for
the night?"
--
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Aimin' to Misbehave aa # 1939
Kooks! http://kookclearinghouse.blogspot.com/
Books! http://jw-bookblog.blogspot.com/
A Christian has to be Adolf Hitler to be called militant.
All an atheist has to do is write a book. -- Tommy Holland