Wife asked me to go on a 2 week bike tour, help!!

[Mark Reimer]

A few years back I built up a new bike for my wife as a surprise. It was a Surly Cross Check with Jack brown 33.3 tires, Nitto Albatross bars, a small wald basket, ladies Brook's B17, etc. Very classy build. Black frame, all silver parts. I was hoping a nice, well fitting comfortable bike would promote more riding together, which it has to a degree. We've done a few longer rides together and last summer did our first overnighter, which she loved. She's always said that long distance touring probably isn't her thing, but after we've completed a couple motorcycle tours and backcountry hiking trips together it seems she's developed the urge to transition to bicycles... maybe all my cycling adventures have inspired some self-propelled wanderlust too, who knows. 

Point is, we're sitting on the couch earlier in the week and she says "I want to take two weeks off next summer and go on a cycling tour with you".

I felt like I was electrocuted! That's basically my dream. 

So here's my questions. I'm well aware of the fact that what I like to do on a tour isn't what a lot of other people would like to do. I look for single track and dirt roads, don't mind rough terrain and not showering for a week. I like doing 100-200km in a day. I love the idea of spending five hours climbing a mountain and then screaming down the other side as fast as I can possibly go. 

If we did that, I don't think she'd ever tour with me again... 

For those of you who've toured with your spouse, or with friends who aren't as nutty as you in general, what worked? What advice do you have for daily distance, elevation, road surface, etc? I know this will be highly individual and vary widely based on personal preferences, age, appetite for adventure, budgets, etc. For reference, my wife Cindy has done some 100km rides and enjoyed them, but I think that would be a bit much for day after day mileage. She likes gravel roads, but not trails. Enjoys hiking up mountains, but is nervous to attempt cycling up one. She's always been hard on the brakes all the way down any hill, but she's since acquired her motorcycle license, so all that 100km/h time in the saddle is sure to help alleviate the fear of speed. 

Thus far the best idea we've come up with together is going to Newfoundland and touring the western edge. It's a 450km one-way ride that crosses Gros Morne National Park, where we would stop to hike for a day or two. 450km isn't enough distance for 2 weeks in my opinion. I'd like something closer to 750. That way we can have some 100km days, some 30km days, a few rest days, etc. So maybe doing this 450km route plus something extra. Camping mostly, with a hostel/B&B every 4-5 days to stay fresh, mentally and physically. I think it'd have a nice mix of rolling coastal roads with light traffic, no high-mountain passes but still some climbing, and some good spots to stop for a day.

Any advice is welcomed!

[Deacon Patrick]

Awesome! Step one: Ask her what she likes about going on a bike tour. What pictures does she have in mind? Get untainted images first, then provide more specific possibilities like credit card tourning, camping touring on paved roads, dirt roads, bikepacking on single track and the various pictures unique to each. See what attracts her and what does not.

With abandon,

Patrick 

[Mark Reimer]

Deacon, good suggestion.

A few of those I can answer already. She loves the ocean and wants to be near water if possible. At least for part of it. She loves camping and prefers sleeping in a tent to a bed, but a shower now and then is most welcome. Credit card touring is out for us due to budget. Bike handling skills aren't the greatest, which is the reason she isn't a fan of single track. I think she'd prefer the locations accessible by single track honestly, but the effort required to navigate trails isn't worth it to her. Gravel paths and smooth double track is good though.  

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[Deacon Patrick]

These resources may help her as well (and you).

https://www.adventurecycling.org/routes-and-maps/adventure-cycling-route-network/

https://www.adventurecycling.org/routes-and-maps/adventure-cycling-route-network/interactive-network-map/

[Deacon Patrick]

Och, meant to include this: http://bikepackersmagazine.com

[Joe Bernard]

It looks to me like the answers are already in your question. I don't have experience with any of this - don't tour, not married (anymore) - but I would think the trick is to plan the pace and scenery for the rider who does less daily mileage. Which it appears you've already done!

[Deacon Patrick]

Excellent! That narrows things down and you can come up with a few specific questions to ask her to narrow it down further:

-- how far do we travel to ride? (Local, 1 day drive, 2, 3,)?

-- Is she willing to have some extending climbing? If not, that eliminates a lot of places/routes.

-- What is her adventure/hardship quotient? because the more remote, the greater the adventure but the more likely things are to be challenging in one way or ten.

-- No matter the location, let her set the pace and distance, though constraints of water/camping spots, weather often force the issue and extend the day's ride/add to the adventure.

She married you, so I presume she's fairly open to some level of "head scratching adventure." Grin. I'd suggest a huge part of the adventure for this is to plan/experience it together in a way that it is the first of many that hopefully get more refined as you bumble along! Grin.

With abandon,

Patrick

[Ryan Fleming]

And maybe if that's her preference , you roll with that. I sympathize with your wife; I've never been totally comfortable on single-track either, though I don't mind gravel or double track so much. I think that's super that you're trying to think more of what she would like to do the most and you're not pressuring her to ride like you do. That can be so stressful for both of you

I see your point though that single-track probably leads to the nicest camping spots. But maybe you compromise a little and if you get to your destination early and you  guys need a little solitude/personal space, you can take off somewhere more gnarly by yourself.

I think the fact that you're asking  promises that it'll be an awesome trip...I hope it is and Newfoundland sounds like a great place to go

[Mark Reimer]

All great points, thanks! 

Ryan - we're due for a run-in on the street soon. My 26+ Crust DFL is all built up now. Heading out on a 3-day tour on Saturday. Packing a rain jacket...

[Jon in central Colorado]

Lucky You!

If you want her to do this more than once you have to make it HER bike tour and enjoy the journey along the way even if it's not your dream tour.

You gotta "set the hook " .So to speak....

Just have fun together!

Jon

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[Ryan Fleming]

I've been dying to see this Crust of yours...I keep an eye out for it...I'm sure it'll be special 

[Reed Kennedy]

You've already gotten some great advice here! But here's one more tip that has served me well in similar circumstances:

Try to find a commercial bike tour operator in the area you're interested in and see if you can learn about how they do it.

These folks have generally spent years honing their routes, making sure they go to beautiful and interesting places, and making sure the routes are accessible. That's how they stay in business!

You might call and say that you're doing a self-supported tour just you and your wife, but you'd be happy to send them money for a nice dinner or somesuch if they'd be willing to give you some route advice. Most are run by bicycle people, and tend to be nice folks.

Here are a few Google told me about:

http://www.atlanticcanadacycling.com/bicycle-tours/newfoundland-bicycle-tour

http://www.freewheeling.ca/adventures/NewfoundlandVikingTrail.html

http://www.pedalandseaadventures.com/newfoundland-viking-trail-bicycle-tour

And most of all, congrats and have a great time!

Best,

Reed

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[Michael Hechmer]

Mark, there are two rules from the tandem world which may help you.  First, whatever direction your relationship is headed in, it will get there faster on a tandem.  That's pretty much true for touring together too.  Second.  The stoker is always right.  Which means, put your preferences aside for now.  

Two weeks is a pretty long tour for a first time, especially on a budget.  You could alternate between camping and a motel or B&B.

Some suggestions for shorter tours.  Quebec has many miles of car feee paths (routeverte quebec), and a law which allows people with low income (??) to rent tax free.  A few years ago we toured in Gaspe ready to camp and discovered the great national & provincial parks were $25 Canadian and the B&Bs were about $60.  With todays exchange rate that comes to $40, pretty cheap for a room, full breakfast and interesting company.

You might also consider around trip on the C&O trail - Cumberland to DC & back, with camping would be pretty relaxed for a week.  Also in Canada look into the Petit Train de Nort, which runs NW from St Jerome (just outside of Montreal) for about 200 miles.  Lots of beautiful country.

Nova Scotia and Cape Breton are fabulous, and not so far away as Newfoundland.

Check out Bicycletouringoncarfreepaths.org

Michael

[Tim Butterfield]

Not sure if this would work, but just to throw out another idea...  Could you take your bikes on a train or bus journey?  If that is possible, you might take several smaller 1-3 day mini-tours starting from different spots along the routes.  Compared with a single longer tour, this might let you adjust upcoming mini-tours based on how you're feeling.  Not up to another mountainous mini-tour?  Then, switch that for a flatter one.

Tim

On Wed, Jun 22, 2016 at 12:21 PM, Mark Reimer <markn...@gmail.com> wrote:

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[RonaTD]

On Wednesday, June 22, 2016 at 2:21:20 PM UTC-5, Mark Reimer wrote:

So here's my questions. I'm well aware of the fact that what I like to do on a tour isn't what a lot of other people would like to do. I look for single track and dirt roads, don't mind rough terrain and not showering for a week. I like doing 100-200km in a day. I love the idea of spending five hours climbing a mountain and then screaming down the other side as fast as I can possibly go. 

Having spent two weeks in Vermont on a tandem for my honeymoon, I have some experience. I scheduled the day - to - day riding around what seemed reasonable for her. We alternated camping and B&B's or motels.

Given that you'll be on singles, you have an additional option. In the mornings, you ride to the next place and set up camp or check in to your lodging. Then, on some days, you go for an afternoon ride that features more off the track exploring, and she enjoys some local browsing. On other days, you do local browsing together. And, maybe, occasionally, she joins you for some off-the-track adventures.

Have fun!!

Ted Durant

Milwaukee, WI 

[Ted Shwartz]

My first tour with my wife was down the Saint Lawrence River. Down wind, French food, excellent Quebec cycling culture, excellent Quebec park and camping system, and the very civilized Route Verte system.

At the end we rolled onto a train for an upwind voyage back to our starting point. Knowing we could bail at any point and take the train home wad a big psychological crutch.

A splendid time was had by all

[Jayme Frye]

What does she have for a ride? Will you outfit her with a nice fat tire steed like your FATlantis or new Crust? Although I have yet to due an epic tour with my wife we have worked up to some sub 24 trips now that she has a bike she is comfortable with. It took several tries before she found the right fit. This thanks to a women owned and run bike shop. 

Jayme

On Wednesday, June 22, 2016 at 2:21:20 PM UTC-5, Mark Reimer wrote:

[Julian]

Mark, 

That's great -- my advice, as someone who toured for a long time before I met my wife (who was a non-cyclist when we married), and then progressing with her going from none to week-long to six-week + tours, as well as observing a number of couples who have stayed with us as Warm Showers guests, is that you need to be in tune with what is working for her and what is not. 

In my case on the first longer tour I said to my wife "if this is not fun for more than a day or two in a row we can stop, hop a train/bus, etc.,"  and I repeated that several times during the tour. She told me later this gave her  the possible out she needed to know was possible (but did not choose) during a few long, cold climbs and a couple of nights of lousy camps. At the end of our first long tour, during a slog in 50 degree driving rain, she grinned, and said to me "where will we go next year."  Although she deferred most of the planning/logistics to me, I did include her and ask for her opinion, and incorporated her needs/desires -- the resulting trips have been great -- perhaps not exactly what I've had done on my own, but at the end of the day far better IMHO. 

I also recommend not setting distances/goals too tightly -- play it as it goes -- with a few exceptions, there no "need" to go on if things are bad (weather, stomach, bike, whatever) -- better to relax and deal with the issue and go on the next day feeling good. We've seen a couple or two with schedules overly ambitious for one of the two (not always the wife), and it never looks or sounds like fun -- it's a vacation, not the Bataan death march. 

For my wife, daily showers are a near must -- and the B&B/motel every 4 or 5 nights was great for her to recharge from the camping (she's not a huge camping fan, YMMV), and I've got to admit that despite a number of wild-camping stink-when-you-come-out trips in my past, going "civilized" is pretty great. 

With luck, you'll both have a great time and you'll discover, to echo the 1970's Bikecentennial  poster "The touring companion you've always wanted is in your house every day."    

Have a great time planning and touring together! 

Julian Westerhout

Bloomington, IL 

On Wednesday, June 22, 2016 at 2:21:20 PM UTC-5, Mark Reimer wrote:

[Roxanna Pebdani]

My husband and I have done some touring together and I think the easiest way to see the differences between us is to see our travel differences in general (on any trip, not just a bike trip)!

So, for example, on a road trip - he'd be fine camping and not showering too often - but I like to shower every day or two, and I tend to prefer a hotel room to camping.  My dream road trip would be down the coast on quieter roads, his would be up in the mountains.  So, we've done a Pittsburgh to DC trip where we didn't shower nearly enough and I was a little unhappy, and we did a ride down the PCH (a much shorter ride) that was my favorite mini-trip ever.  I think taking your regular travel-together expectations and just adding in the riding will give you a great idea of how to plan this.  Does she want to stop through cities? Does she want to be in nature the whole time?  Does she need a lot of rest/get going time?  How can you incorporate that into your ride together?

The other thing that my husband did that I am sure you do all the time is he made me feel so ok with stopping.  My general distances are shorter than his.  I need breaks more often.  He never made me feel bad about a break, or a short day, or whining "why can't we just get a hotel room" (there were none).  We also had many potential bail points, that we never used, but I was comforted knowing they existed.  

All in all, I love touring with my husband, and despite him making some concessions, he enjoys touring with me :)  I'm excited for you and this trip!

[Abcyclehank]

No offense guys but the wisdom contained in Roxanna's post contains the most important perspective of all. She stresses compromise, communication, unconditional love on a husband's part to make this a win-win endeavor. Thanks for posting and helping a great group of men remember how to be better husbands or other significant others(however the sandal, shoe, boot, or stiletto fits).

Sincerely,
Ryan Hankinson
West Michigan

[Ken Yokanovich]

I went on a tour with my wife once... I carried most everything leaving only a lightly packed set of rear panniers for her.  I carefully scouted maps and planned out a nice route for a week.

The tour concluded somewhere along the planned route on day 4 when she threw her bike in a ditch and refused to go any further.

She did pay me the highest of compliments at one point on the tour though when she looked me straight in the eye and said "You are one sick f.." She is not the type to use expletives, but the way she said it, so matter of fact...I was honored.  We're going on 20 years of marriage and one of the secrets must be to never bring up going on a bike tour together again :D

I wish you luck!

On Wednesday, June 22, 2016 at 2:21:20 PM UTC-5, Mark Reimer wrote:

[René Sterental]

Ha ha ha ha!!!

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[dougP]

Mark:

This is my first look at this thread so I did not read all the replies, and may repeat other's comments.

My wife & I have toured together quite a bit.  She's tried camping but did not care for it so we do lodging.  As to distance & difficulty, I suggest purposely under-doing it on the first tour.  Unless she's spent multiple back to back days riding with gear, she'll thank you for an average of 50 km per day vs 100 km per day.  Involve her in the planning, esp of side trips, stuff to see, day off bike activities, etc.  We often stay 2 nights in the same place when there is enough stuff of interest to warrant a full day.  Work around her schedule of sleeping, relaxing, eating.  You do so at home, so nothing new there.  The goals is to end up the tour with her scheming "where to next" rather than regretting ever meeting you.  The bike is simply how you got there, not the end in itself.  Good luck!

dougP