1. yes
2. not exactly: it’s not possible to become a parent by looking up an actor, because each actor gets started by a parent actor (if you use ActorSystem.actorOf the system actor called guardian will be the parent)
So, one possible solution: Your parent actor watches its children which are deployed remotely; it also watches cluster events, in particular MemberUp; once it detects that too many children have died and there are spare remote cluster members nodes, it creates new children on these remote member nodes. BTW, that’s more or less what a cluster based pool router does, so you might not have to handle that yourself ...
Heiko