With the default configuration,
--max-old-space-size should work for values up to 4GiB.
If you need more, you need to disable pointer compression (which implies disabling the sandbox, because the sandbox relies on compressed pointers for its isolation mechanics). That's easy to do with:
v8_enable_pointer_compression = false
v8_enable_sandbox = false
Note that this will increase memory consumption by probably around 60-70% (pointers become twice as big, non-pointer data such as numbers and string characters remains the same, so the overall balance depends on your workload).
This will allow you to configure arbitrary maximum heap sizes.
Note that you need to #define (or not define) V8_COMPRESS_POINTERS for the parts of your embedding code that #include V8 headers such that it matches your V8 build configuration.