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Jesus was a cricketer and Hindu XI

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amit.karan...@gmail.com

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Aug 10, 2008, 2:15:11 PM8/10/08
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http://www.theage.com.au/news/books/jesus-played-cricket/2008/08/08/1218139059829.html

Since I lack any significant knowledge of Christianity, a team
comprising of biblical characters would be appreciated. Somebody
please make a team out of the 12 apostles ...

Here's my own contribution, comprising characters from the religion I
was born into. Additions welcome.

Coach: Sri Krishna. His treatise on duty and captaincy, called the
"Bhagvad Gita" is well known and is required reading for any coach or
captain. He has been credited with improving the mental strength of
the opening bowler Arjuna.

1) Shankar, aka Shiva (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva) He is an
aggressive opening batsman, known as "The Destroyer". Bowlers take
cover when he opens his third-eye.

2) Brahma, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahma, is the creator of many
opening partnerships. He is the most underrated of the trinity of
Brahma, Shankar and Vishnu.

3) Vishnu, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vishnu, is the preserver and
therefore serves ad a valuable number 3. There is some controversy as
to whether a number 3 batsman can also be a coach, but, it is decided
that since he is a God he can be at 2 places at the same time.

4) Ganesha, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganpati, in the middle order
provides knowledge and experience. Since he is not very athletic, he
prefers to stand at first slip.

5) Lakshmana, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakshmana, An elegant left
hander in the middle order, he provides critical support to (6), Lord
Rama. Their partnerships in critical tours of Sri Lanka are well
known. He also serves as wicket keeper.

6) Rama, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rama, The Perfect Batsman, at
number 6. Due to controversies about his married life, he decided to
resign the captaincy and hand it over to (7).

7) Yushisthir (Captain), http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yudhishtir,
provides true leadership. His unflinching devotion to the "Laws of
Cricket", (well, most of the time), is a courageous example for the
rest. He recently inherited the captaincy from Lord Rama (6)

8) Hanuman, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanuman), he is
exceptionally athletic, and known to stop sixers by flying and
catching the ball. Useful with the bat, the can be relied upon to bowl
gentle-off spin. He was offended when people in West Indies insisted
on calling him "Yo Maan", instead of Hanuman or Monkey Man, reducing
him down to the level of a mere mortal human. He complained to the
racism tribunal but because of the racists controlling cricket, it was
determined that he misheard "Hanuman" as "Yo Maan!".

9) Bhima, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhima, this work horse of a man
can be relied upon to bowl medium pace all day. A man of a volatile
temper, he has been known to crank up his pace and send in a few
beamers to batsmen he does not like.

10) Karna, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karna, Second only to Arjuna
(11) in bowling prowess, he is an exceptional bowler. Some say, that
he is better than Arjuna, but unfortunately, he always seems to make a
mess of his bowling when he needs it the most. A master at running
away. and useful only on helpful tracks.

11) Arjuna, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arjuna, bowls fiery darts,
which unerringly find the middle stump. Unfortunately, he is a bunny
with the bat.


-Amit

warnin...@hotmail.com

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Oct 6, 2008, 8:56:06 PM10/6/08
to
On Aug 11, 7:15 am, amit.karandikar.2...@gmail.com wrote:
> http://www.theage.com.au/news/books/jesus-played-cricket/2008/08/08/1...

>
> Since I lack any significant knowledge of Christianity, a team
> comprising of biblical characters would be appreciated. Somebody
> please make a team out of the 12 apostles ...
>
> Here's my own contribution, comprising characters from the religion I
> was born into. Additions welcome.
>
> Coach: Sri Krishna. His treatise on duty and captaincy, called the
> "Bhagvad Gita" is well known and is required reading for any coach or
> captain. He has been credited with improving the mental strength of
> the opening bowler Arjuna.
>
> 1)  Shankar, aka Shiva (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva) He is an
> aggressive opening batsman, known as "The Destroyer". Bowlers take
> cover when he opens his third-eye.
>
> 2) Brahma,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahma, is the creator of many

> opening partnerships. He is the most underrated of the trinity of
> Brahma, Shankar and Vishnu.
>
> 3) Vishnu,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vishnu, is the preserver  and

> therefore serves ad a valuable number 3. There is some controversy as
> to whether a number 3 batsman can also be a coach, but, it is decided
> that since he is a God he can be at 2 places at the same time.
>
> 4) Ganesha,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganpati, in the middle order

> provides knowledge and experience. Since he is not very athletic, he
> prefers to stand at first slip.
>
> 5) Lakshmana,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakshmana, An elegant left

> hander in the middle order, he provides critical support to (6), Lord
> Rama. Their partnerships in critical tours of Sri Lanka are well
> known. He also serves as wicket keeper.
>
> 6) Rama,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rama, The Perfect Batsman, at

> number 6. Due to controversies about his married life, he decided to
> resign the captaincy and hand it over to (7).
>
> 7) Yushisthir (Captain),http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yudhishtir,

> provides true leadership. His unflinching devotion to the "Laws of
> Cricket", (well, most of the time), is a courageous example for the
> rest. He recently inherited the captaincy from Lord Rama (6)
>
> 8) Hanuman, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanuman), he is
> exceptionally athletic, and known to stop sixers by flying and
> catching the ball. Useful with the bat, the can be relied upon to bowl
> gentle-off spin. He was offended when people in West Indies insisted
> on calling him "Yo Maan", instead of Hanuman or Monkey Man, reducing
> him down to the level of a mere mortal human. He complained to the
> racism tribunal but because of the racists controlling cricket, it was
> determined that he misheard "Hanuman" as "Yo Maan!".
>
> 9) Bhima,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhima, this work horse of a man

> can be relied upon to bowl medium pace all day. A man of a volatile
> temper, he has been known to crank up his pace and send in a few
> beamers to batsmen he does not like.
>
> 10) Karna,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karna, Second only to Arjuna

> (11) in bowling prowess, he is an exceptional bowler. Some say, that
> he is better than Arjuna, but unfortunately, he always seems to make a
> mess of his bowling when he needs it the most. A master at running
> away. and useful only on helpful tracks.
>
> 11) Arjuna,  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arjuna, bowls fiery darts,
> which unerringly find the middle stump. Unfortunately, he is a bunny
> with the bat.
>
> -Amit

i worked on a christian XI last night. here it is...

1) peter*, known in the bible and in his name as the rock. great to
take the shine off the ball.

2) matius, gilchrist like approach to every ball. able to hit a six an
over with reasonable ease.

3) john, best batsman in the side (or claims to be). created the
common belief that the number 3 batsman is the best batsman in the
squad.

4) philip, he tended to just get on with the job at hand. created
needed partnerships. particularly menacing on the field with sledging.

5) matthew, can keep run-rate going almost to the ball. this comes
from a great knowledge of numbers from his past tax collector
experience. also a handy containing bowler that bowls medium pace.

6) Simon (wicket keeper), on debut. the eager one who just wants to
get out there and bat. also tends to rally the troops when situations
look grim.

7) james I, batting all rounder. flays at every ball and has the
highest strike rate in the team. likes to get syuff done in a fast
manner so perfect for trying to finish off the innings.

8) thomas, very doubtful, is capable batsman but doubts himself so
wont put himself up the order. is also the teams spinner, bowls all
kinds of deliveries making other batsmen doubt what he bowls.

9) jude, 2nd bowler, very accurate, same delivery every time, very
clinical. the classic bowler. fast-medium. can stay in if needed but
dont rely on him for a nightwatchman.

10) james II, the number one bowler in the squad. always on the
captains tail to bowl because he believes he is the best one there.

11) bartholomew, emerging bowler, little is known about him but has an
extremely large amount of potential. selected on his pace bowling
rather than his lack of batting talent.

12th man) andrew, a very good batsman and fielder but a recent lack of
form has forced him out of the starting XI.

Judas was recently dropped for suspition of match fixing and a general
lack of respect to the coach (Jesus)

StraightDrive

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Oct 6, 2008, 9:51:42 PM10/6/08
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<warnin...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:0556cda1-0f50-4717...@a19g2000pra.googlegroups.com...

New poster warnin...@hotmail.com,

Welcome to the cricket newsgroup rec.sport.cricket

StraightDrive

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Oct 6, 2008, 10:05:06 PM10/6/08
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<warnin...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
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warning_i_c_u,

Given a choice, would you vote for or fuck Sexy bitch Sarah Palin ?

I know I will fuck Sarah Palin.

ROFLMAO

HusbandOfAllFBInNSAAgents

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Oct 6, 2008, 10:49:14 PM10/6/08
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<warnin...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:0556cda1-0f50-4717...@a19g2000pra.googlegroups.com...

FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATH warning_i_c_u,

YOU are WARNING me that YOU CAN SEE ME 24X7 with your
illegal survellance devices ???

Did you ENJOY watching me MASTURBATE today ??

ROFLMAO


YOU FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS "warning" ME must be the JOKE OF THE CENTURY.

FBI PSYCHOPATH "bhandava" bragging:about their MULTIPLE IDENTITIES
on INTERNET.

[You would be surprised how much of usenet is affiliated with our
organisations. More than half the posts on RSC are between our
operatives across the globe. Our code and methods are of the highest
calibre. As we often say: "1000 software engineers working for 1000
years couldn't dent what we've implemented here". ]
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/bdd4802d0b3921b9


FBI PSYCHOPATH "bhandava"s DEATH THREAT TO ME

[Find our cameras? Did your useless friend find our GPS tracker in your
car? LOL, our operatives were even in your Marietta apartment a couple
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http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/f306111eb4fc577e


Mind Control, Mind Manipulation and Torture Technologies of U.S. National
Security Agency (NSA)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/f42d5fe4579387e7?hl=en


$10,000 BOUNTY for KILLING Bush, Cheney, Robert Mueller III, Keith
Alexander, Mathew Hayden, Michael McConnell
http://groups.google.com/group/microsoft.public.internetexplorer.general/msg/9883b952a6fd5556


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