Ponting and Kumble's Press Conference: Punter cleans out the Indians
skoo...@googlemail.com
against Hogg. Please note that many words have been spelt phonetically
to bring out the nuances of the Aussie accent. Their pungent language
of course needs no spelling guide. Read on.
Ponting: Hi everybody. Anil and I had a very good meeting. Anil?
Kumble: Yes a very good meeting.
Ponting: First of all I want to say that Indians have made gryte
gestaah in not pressing thyre kyse (case) against Hoggy. I
congratulate the bastards. Theye have shown gryte spirit. Well plied
myte.
Kumble: uh huh thanks.
Ponting: Now we aah going to ply the gyme like we always ply it. We
aah going to myme (maim) the bastards and send the cocksukaahs to
hospital. Right myte?
Kumble: well ... we had a good meeting and decided to play the game in
the spirit of Cricket.
Ponting: Like we said we aah looking fohwhad to Perth where Tyte will
rip these mothah fuckkahs apaht and bryke theye (their) bloody bones.
Kumble: nods and gives a slightly sheepish grin.
Procter: we are glad that little misunderstanding's been cleared up.
Now we can go back to playing Cricket. We are 2-0 up in the series and
are looking forward to a 17th win.
Kumble: (Looks helplessly from Procter to Ponting and then asks the
reporters): Any questions for us?
One of the reporters wants to know if Ponting will target Indians'
with bouncers.
Ponting: Well these bastards aahn't used to plying real pyce on bouncy
wikkits. And we aah going to rip them open and blooddy theye fyces.
Kumble: We will do our best to play positive Cricket.
Procter: While bodyline bowling is not allowed, our bowlers have been
waiting for a wicket like this. We cannot wait to go out there and win
our 17th test.
Ponting: We'll smash theye rotten fyces that's for shooah.
Kumble: uh ... huh ... we plan to have a long session at the nets.
A reporter asks Ponting if it is ok to call Indians 'bastards'.
Ponting: If you do not agree with me you have no right to be heeah.
Jymes? (looks at Sutherland).
Sutherland: Yeaah. Punter's right myte. You can't ask these questions
and continue to be heeah. He motions to a couple of burly fellas in
the back of the room. The reported is promptly escorted out.
Procter: We play our Cricket hard. But we Ozzees love a good game and
respect ourselves. Sutherland nods and Ponting beams, while Kumble
gives a weak smile and then looks serious again.
A reporter from The Guardian (identifies himself) and asks Procter why
he refers to the Aussies as "us" and asks him what he understands by
the term neutral march referee.
Ponting nods to Sutherland.
Sutherland: (interrupts the reporter): You have no right to be heeah
if you question any of us myte. And motions to the back of the room
and two more loutish fellows escort the reporter out.
Sutherland: We Ozzies give hard press conferences but fair ones. And
we love our bouncers.
Ponting: When he says bouncaahs Jymes does not mean rising balls.
Those that Tyte will bowl to break bastard Tendulkah's balls. Raathah
he means those big blokes at the back of the room. We got some of the
best bouncaahs in the gyme and there's real talent comin up in the
schools.
Other Aussies clap and Kumble shifts in his chair.
Ponting: Right so we aah all ready to go out there and blast those
Indeean baastahds to hell mytes. Watch us at Perth. Jymes?
Sutherland: yes I agree we will rip the mother fucker's guts out.
Mike.
Procter: The Captains had a good meeting. And I am looking forward to
seeing our boys post the 17th.
Kumble: We hope to do our best.
End of press conference.
-SB
Dave -Turner
Secondly have you heard Indian accents?? Enough said
King Of Pain
news:13oralp...@corp.supernews.com...
> lame. for starters your edits are nothing like how any Aussie speaks.
> Secondly have you heard Indian accents?? Enough said
While you may be responding to a racist post, this is pretty racist in
itself. No offense taken, but it's easy to see how someone could.
Cheers!
--
Vig
Jason Gillespie
> Secondly have you heard Indian accents?? Enough said
>
>
Enjoy the great satire, Dave.
With due credit to Skooti the OP.
Jason Gillespie
Should have added Benson, Bucknor and Clarke too.
<skoo...@googlemail.com> wrote in message
news:506293d3-9968-4493...@v67g2000hse.googlegroups.com...
Dave -Turner
news:fmkb3t$g50$1...@news-int.gatech.edu...
I apologise if you thought it seemed racist as it was not my intention. I'm
just saying that Indians have very strong accents too, so it seemed somewhat
hypocritical of the original poster to attack our accent.
King Of Pain
>
> I apologise if you thought it seemed racist as it was not my intention.
> I'm just saying that Indians have very strong accents too, so it seemed
> somewhat hypocritical of the original poster to attack our accent.
>
I know what you mean... I don't get offended by racist comments like the
ones you made. In fact I make them myself all the time. Unfortunately for
us, the world expects a lot more PCness which I am opposed to. But what's
not racist in one culture is racist elsewhere and it's upto the recipient to
react maturely (which they don't nowadays). For example, in Brazil, black
people are routinely referred to as 'nigao' but here in Atlanta, you'd be
shot if you used the 'N'-word. Now how could a Brazilian know that?
Cheers!
--
Vig
raghu.sa...@gmail.com
> lame. for starters your edits are nothing like how any Aussie speaks.
> Secondly have you heard Indian accents?? Enough said
I thought it was funny. I know Indians have heavy accents which
reflects in their English speak, and most Indians will gladly accept
it. However when one makes an impression of another persons speak or
accent there is always a deliberate distortion to bring out humor.
Some may easily get offended and consider this racist. Others like
myself will always chuckle at such humor.
Raghu
skoo...@googlemail.com
>
> I apologise if you thought it seemed racist as it was not my intention. I'm
> just saying that Indians have very strong accents too, so it seemed somewhat
> hypocritical of the original poster to attack our accent.
Attack yes, accent no. You need to read something other than Aussie
tabloids dude. There is a difference between Burlesque, Parody, Satire
and Mock. And no, these are not after-shave lotions. Dickens and Shaw
both used native flavors of speech - both in its verbal architecture
and pronunciation - neither intended to attack the class of the
speaker. For that matter, Harold Pinter, Cormac McCarthy and Mailer
all try to 'speak in the voice'. None of which is construed as an
attack on the speaker's origins. Except by the ill read and poorly
finished products of the government schools. Such as yourself it would
appear. You remind me of a Heathrow terminal 4 waitress - she told a
patron "don't go all posh on me dearie."
Your heart-on-the-sleeve Indian pal - the one that sympathizes with
you - is another example of the poorly finished product that I cite
above. His reading spans a wide gamut from Unix manuals to super
market tabloids.
Nothing sets the underclass apart from its social superiors more than
its willingness to snarl when it encounters verbal polish.
-SB
-SB
Sanjiv Karmarkar
> "Dave -Turner" <n...@no.no> wrote in message
>
> news:13orl61...@corp.supernews.com...
>
>
>
> > I apologise if you thought it seemed racist as it was not my intention.
> > I'm just saying that Indians have very strong accents too, so it seemed
> > somewhat hypocritical of the original poster to attack our accent.
>
> I know what you mean... I don't get offended by racist comments like the
> ones you made. In fact I make them myself all the time
Why were his (and OP's) comments racist? The accent has nothing to do
with race; it's regional. Indians brought up in the US have American
accent; and one of my colleagues - an American of Scott-German
ancestry -- was brought up in Tokyo and speaks with a heavy - and
highly amusing - Japanese accent.
It's certainly not racist, and I don't consider it even remotely
offensive. Each region has its own accent and listening to myriad
accents is one of the pleasures of today's global economy.
Sanjiv Karmarkar
Rodney Ulyate
[...]
> Nothing sets the underclass apart from its social superiors more than
> its willingness to snarl when it encounters verbal polish.
A rather euphemistic way of describing your press-conference post,
which, for all its demontic wit, was painfully predictable. If you are
going to be sarcastic, you should probably be more subtle and original.
The Stalin-style opposition-removal has been done to satirical death.
I'd also advise that you try to differentiate between what your
characters are saying and what you are describing them as doing.
Procter, for example, appears to be telling us that "[w]e play our
Cricket hard. But we Ozzees love a good game and respect ourselves.
Sutherland nods and Ponting beams, while Kumble gives a weak smile and
then looks serious again." There is something very wrong there.
Paragraphs and inverted commas are glorious things. Use them.
--
Rodney Ulyate
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a
baby."
Natalie Wood
Husband of All FBI n NSA agents
"Rodney Ulyate" <rodney...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:fmlsqd$s7p$1...@aioe.org...
> skoo...@googlemail.com wrote:
> [...]
>> Nothing sets the underclass apart from its social superiors more than
>> its willingness to snarl when it encounters verbal polish.
>
> A rather euphemistic way of describing your press-conference post, which,
> for all its demontic wit, was painfully predictable.
Painfully predictable, PSYCHOPATH Rodney Ulyate ?
You have been BORING me for 7 years with the SAME
BORING crap posts on usenet.
>If you are going to be sarcastic, you should probably be more subtle and
>original.
Like how ?
Emulate the Sarcasm geniuses ie your racist friends
dechuka, Paul Robson, Mike Holmans, Rodney Hampson, Dave Turner,
Mango, Ian Galbraith, Andrew Dunford, bhandava, Will_S, alvey ??
ROFLMAO
> The Stalin-style opposition-removal has been done to satirical death.
Still trying to prove you are an intellectual ? Hahahaha
> I'd also advise that you try to differentiate between what your characters
> are saying and what you are describing them as doing.
Unsolicited advise is your expertize ?
> Procter, for example, appears to be telling us that "[w]e play our Cricket
> hard. But we Ozzees love a good game and respect ourselves. Sutherland
> nods and Ponting beams, while Kumble gives a weak smile and then looks
> serious again." There is something very wrong there.
This from the FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATH who doesnt know the
difference between SYSTEMIC and SYSTEMATIC.
ROFLMAO
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/695df46b1a4e7045
> Paragraphs and inverted commas are glorious things. Use them.
>
> --
> Rodney Ulyate
You NEVER complained about the ENGLISH of YOUR
RACIST FRIENDS Will_S, alvey, Jack, Kim, Dave Turner,
dechuka, c00ps and the rest.
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/f2b08aa6e8f2fc70
WHY NOW ?
I get it because skooti is an INFERIOR SKINNED BROWN
INDIAN while YOUR RACIST FRIENDS are SUPERIOR WHITE
SKINNED.
You are a HYPOCRITIC RACIST PSYCHOPATHIC LOW
LIFE SCUM, Rodney Ulyate.
Have you already DRUNK MY BLOOD, Rodney Ulyate ??
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/502d33b966ece55d
King Of Pain
news:410c8ac9-dae8-4dd9...@v46g2000hsv.googlegroups.com...
I love listening to and even doing a variety of accents... However, DT was
definitely indicating that Indian accents have a negative characteristic
about them which could be (and is likely to be) interpreted as racially
intolerant or at the very least, politically incorrect... I do not subscribe
to being touchy about these things, but I wouldn't dare say something
similar amongst strangers...
Cheers!
--
Vig
bhandava
>
> Emulate the Sarcasm geniuses ie your racist friends
> dechuka, Paul Robson, Mike Holmans, Rodney Hampson, Dave Turner,
> Mango, Ian Galbraith, Andrew Dunford, bhandava, Will_S, alvey ??
>
Hooray! Now I'm on your 'sarcastic racist' list as well as your 'FBI
psycopaths' list! (Even though by your definition I somehow cant be racist)
So many accolades, so early in my career. I hope I haven't peaked too early.
How are your feet? *clap* dance, dance! *clap*
bhandava
Sanjiv Karmarkar
> I love listening to and even doing a variety of accents... However, DT was
> definitely indicating that Indian accents have a negative characteristic
> about them which could be (and is likely to be) interpreted as racially
> intolerant or at the very least, politically incorrect... I do not subscribe
> to being touchy about these things, but I wouldn't dare say something
> similar amongst strangers...
I read absolutely nothing racially intolerant and/or politically
incorrect in Dave's post. All he said was that Indians have heavy
accent. Well, duh, most of the humanity considers everyone else's
accents 'heavy'! :-)
Sanjiv Karmarkar
Husband of All FBI n NSA agents
"bhandava" <bhandava_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:fmn3kh$han$1...@aioe.org...
My feet which you are TORTURING ME by REMOTELY OPERATING
PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPONS described in this link ???
http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/pro-freedom.co.uk/cov_us.html
Well what can I say. You FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS are SO
BRAVE to TORTURE a POWERLESS human being like me with
YOUR SUPERIOR WEAPONRY and UNLIMITED POWER
given to you by AMERICAN GOVT DICKSUCKING
adn WORSHIPPING 310 AMERICAN PUSSIES and SLAVES and
THEN BRAG to the REST OF THE WORLD you are from
the "HOME OF THE BRAVE"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Here is the PUBLIC CHALLENGE to YOU FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS
one more time.
I CHALLENGED YOU to come face to face with me so we will
FIGURE OUT WHO IS THE REAL MAN and "YOU RAN AWAY"
LIKE A TYPICAL FUCKING AMERICAN GOVERNMENT
PUSSY FOR 7 YEARS.
NO WONDER the WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU AMERICAN
GOVERNMENT PSYCHOPATHS, SADISTS, PERVERTS and
BLOOD THIRSTY PUSSIES.
What a BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL WORLD it would be if
EVERY FREEDOM LOVING HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET
TAKES UP ARMS and MERICLESSLY KILL EVERY AMERICAN
GOVERNMENT FBI, CIA and NSA PSYCHOPATH LIKE YOU.
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/9c0079202ed33410
Rodney Ulyate
What does the rest of the world make of the South African accent?
--
Rodney Ulyate
"Love makes the world go 'round, but money greases the wheels."
Sanjiv Karmarkar
> What does the rest of the world make of the South African accent?
Most Nuuyoikas will tell you that the South Africans of English
ancestry have a fairly light accent and are easy to understand, while
the Afrikaans on the other hand are much harder to understand.
I like it fine, but a lot of New Yorkers find the Afrikaans accent
annoying; for some reason it reminds them of the German accent from
the war movies.
Sanjiv Karmarkar
Rodney Ulyate
That's pretty much on the money for mine.
--
Rodney Ulyate
"Shane Warne is thicker than a complete set of Wisden yearbooks."
Matt Price
bhandava
Husband of All FBI n NSA agents
> lick
BORN PUSSY bhandava,
How about meeting me somewhere so we settle scores like REAL MEN ?
http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/pro-freedom.co.uk/cov_us.html
Well what can I say. You FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS are SO
BRAVE to TORTURE a POWERLESS human being like me with
YOUR SUPERIOR WEAPONRY and UNLIMITED POWER
given to you by AMERICAN GOVT DICKSUCKING
and WORSHIPPING 310 AMERICAN PUSSIES and SLAVES and
Husband of All FBI n NSA agents
> lick
BORN PSYCHOPATHIC PUSSY bhandava,
You THREATENED me in this link that you will MURDER ME
and REMOVE ME the moment I get into a situation of EXPOSING
YOUR EVIL FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS and RACISTS' ATROCITIES
and TORTURES of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF
INNOCENT AMERICANS.
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.sport.cricket/msg/9a8e75168894e860
When did YOU FBI n NSA PSYCHOPATHS SCHEDULE MY MURDER ?
bhandava
lick