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LNH: Haiku Gorilla Adventures # 3: The Origin of Haiku Gorilla, part two

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Tom Russell

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Mar 17, 2006, 2:43:14 PM3/17/06
to
Apes signing with ease
Two paws are mute, ridiculed
Snow blankets the grass

(C) COPYRIGHT 2006 TOM RUSSELL.

--

Tom Russell
Director of MILOS,
LIFE AND TIMES OF
A DREAMER

"If a comic book, book, movie or novel is not somebody's fantasy
then who wrote it and to whom does it appeal to? In order for a
shared universe to have a widespread appeal, it has to appeal on
a primal level. If somebody says superhero comics are just 'wish
fulfillment' then he needs to explain what is entertainment that
doesn't satisfy our wishes and what satisfaction at all you can get
from it." -- Dr. Martin Phipps

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Tom Russell

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Mar 17, 2006, 2:55:01 PM3/17/06
to
I've just realized that with each new issue posted, I push another
issue off of the Wil's Ego page. This renders a deep disservice to my
fellow RACC authors, and so I will be continuing the adventures of
Haiku Gorilla within _this_ thread, rather than posting a new topic for
each installment. Those interested should keep tabs on this thread.

My apologies,

Tom Russell

Tom Russell

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Mar 17, 2006, 4:09:54 PM3/17/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 4

Doctors call him hopeless
can't play any reindeer games
a sting worse than frost

Adrian James McClure

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Mar 17, 2006, 6:44:30 PM3/17/06
to
This is brilliant
Snow is falling on the leaves
Better than Watchmen

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 2:23:26 AM3/18/06
to
Pretty doctor Jane
won't give up-- snowmen melting
carrot-nose remains

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 2:25:05 AM3/18/06
to

Tom Russell wrote:
> HAIKU GORILLA # 4
>
> Doctors call him hopeless
> can't play any reindeer games
> a sting worse than frost
>

Gah!!

I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake.

Let's try this again:

They call him hopeless


can't play any reindeer games
a sting worse than frost

> (C) COPYRIGHT 2006 TOM RUSSELL.

Ditto.

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 3:28:40 AM3/18/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 6

She reads to the ape
like cherry blossoms, love bursts
kisses are stolen

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 3:46:56 AM3/18/06
to

HAIKU GORILLA # 7

Lovers discovered
Jane leaves in disgrace: good-bye
a dry leaf crumpled

LETTERS PAGE (SENRYU-KEN!)

Dear Senryu-ken!,

This is brilliant
Snow is falling on the leaves
Better than Watchmen

--Adrian James McClure

Dear Adrian,

Glad you're enjoying the series. In answer to your questions:

(1) Yes.
(2) Possibly. Check your e-mail.
(3) All will be revealed in due time.
(4) You might want to check out our spin-off title, HAIKU GORILLA
TEAM-UP.

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 12:10:14 PM3/18/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 8

Other apes shun him
doctors sneer and Jane is gone
a long cold winter

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 4:55:36 PM3/18/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 9

Fur matted with tears
the lonely gorilla speaks
blistering sunshine

Tom Russell

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Mar 18, 2006, 11:52:13 PM3/18/06
to
> HAIKU GORILLA # 10: HAIKU GORILLA SPEAKS!

"Worms from mother's mouth
"the taste of spring is bitter
"with no one to feed."

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 12:17:44 AM3/19/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 11

Excited doctors
an ape that can speak English!
great pumpkins grinning

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 12:30:25 AM3/19/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 12

Talking paws jealous
the talking mouth exalted
speak oh gentle wind

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 1:41:03 AM3/19/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ANNUAL # 1

Media darling
funding increased, diverted
insert kigo here

Doctors buy him things
widowed geese can't live alone
things give no comfort

"When will Jane come back?
"It can't be summer, too cold.
"It must be autumn."

Jane cannot return
you can't fly south, silly goose
learn to love your cage

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 9:48:57 AM3/19/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 13

They give him a mate
her fingertips profess love
crickets can't hear trees

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 8:33:23 PM3/19/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 14

She tries to listen
he feels more alone with her
trees can't hear crickets

Tom Russell

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Mar 19, 2006, 8:43:19 PM3/19/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 15

Like a tiger caged
he yearns for full free summer
plot, pussycat, plot!

Tom Russell

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Mar 20, 2006, 10:28:44 AM3/20/06
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AFTER AN EXCRUCIATING 12-HOUR HIATUS... HAIKU GORILLA HAS RETURNED!

HAIKU GORILLA # 16

He's too valuable
institute won't let him leave
scarecrows 'round his cell

Tom Russell

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Mar 20, 2006, 12:39:17 PM3/20/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 17

When she wakes, he's gone
guards with the stuffing torn out
swans can't sing but once

Tom Russell

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Mar 20, 2006, 6:08:03 PM3/20/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 18

His name without sound
her fingers dancing with air
christmas cha-cha-cha

Adrian James McClure

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Mar 20, 2006, 9:13:45 PM3/20/06
to
Who'd win? Our hero
Or Gothic Gorilla from
Saviors of the Net?

(Couldn't figure out
How to work in season word
On first day of spring.)

Tom Russell

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Mar 20, 2006, 10:21:58 PM3/20/06
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HAIKU GORILLA # 19

"Wretched jellyfish!
"he must be brought back! summon
"Briefcase-Eater Lad!"

SENRYU-KEN! (LETTERS PAGE)

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

--Adrian James McClure

Dear Adrian,

Haiku Gorilla asked to answer your reply himself:

"Violence is folly
"embrace peace and contemplate
"the cherry blossoms."

That being said, H. G. would totally kick his ass.

(C) COPYRIGHT 2006 TOM RUSSELL. Briefcase-Eater Lad is the creation
of Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used with his permission.

Tom Russell

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Mar 20, 2006, 11:33:28 PM3/20/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 20

Walking on real grass
cold night air, moon on his fur
first time in his life


LAST TIME, ON SENRYU-KEN! (LETTERS PAGE)


>
> Dear Senryu-Ken!,
>
> Who'd win? Our hero
> Or Gothic Gorilla from
> Saviors of the Net?
>
> (Couldn't figure out
> How to work in season word
> On first day of spring.)
>
> --Adrian James McClure
>
> Dear Adrian,
>
> Haiku Gorilla asked to answer your reply himself:
>
> "Violence is folly
> "embrace peace and contemplate
> "the cherry blossoms."
>
> That being said, H. G. would totally kick his ass.

As you are no doubt aware, in the hour between the publication of HAIKU
GORILLA # 19 and the time at which I write these words, the Haiku
Gorilla message-boards have been invaded by two hundred members of the
Gothic Gorilla fandom. The heated discussion soon turned into an
all-out flame war, with insults, offensive fan art, and threats of
violence being bandied about. The inflammatory users were banned from
the message board-- but more came to take their place. (Most likely it
is only a handful of users utilizing sock-puppets.)

The board was soon shut down, and the war moved to e-mail, phone calls,
and eventually letter bombs. A member of the Haiku Gorilla fandom was
brutally wiffle-batted to death by an irate Gothic Gorilla fan; in
retaliation, several fans took it upon themselves to fight back,
penning a number of anti-semetic cartoons and beheading Brian Michael
Bendis while the controversial emasculator of superheroes was dining at
a Kentucky Fried Chicken.

First of all, folks, Bendis has nothing to do with Gothic Gorilla! (Or
Haiku Gorilla, for that matter.) If you're going to vent aggression,
at least vent it at the right place!

Secondly, don't vent your aggression! It's only a comic, for
goodness's sake! What kind of idiot kills people over a comic? (The
same kind of people that kills the _wrong_ people over a comic, I
guess.) If you're going to kill somebody, kill someone who deserves
it!

And finally, don't kill anybody!

Let's all just step back, calm down, and look at things rationally,
okay? Haiku Gorilla does not enjoy or condone the use of violence
(except when wielded against hapless security guards keeping him
captive and preventing his reunion with his one true love, Doctor
Jane). Short of Hooded Hoo'dwin, there's no way in the Looniverse that
Haiku Gorilla and Gothic Gorilla are going to fight (unless, of course,
Gothic Gorilla is a hapless security guard keeping him captive and
preventing his reunion with his one true love, Doctor Jane)! So it's
really a moot point, isn't it?

That being said, IF... and I'm just saying IF... they *were* going to
fight... well, let's approach this logically, shall we?

1. Haiku Gorilla has had twenty issues (plus an annual) of HIS OWN
magazine, and counting
2. Gothic Gorilla has had no issues (plus no annual) of HIS OWN
magazine
Therefore: Haiku Gorilla is more popular

1. The most popular character is more likely to win a hero vs. hero
fight
2. Haiku Gorilla is more popular
Therefore: Haiku Gorilla is going to win...

... unless there is a story reason why Haiku Gorilla would lose to
Gothic Gorilla, resulting in a deeper appreciation of Haiku Gorilla's
character. But:

1. Haiku Gorilla speaks in haikus
2. Gothic Gorilla does not
Therefore: Gothic Gorilla is the total opposite of Haiku Gorilla

1. Haiku Gorilla is not a cat
2. Gothic Gorilla is the total opposite of Haiku Gorilla
Therefore: Gothic Gorilla is a pussy.

So, folks, let's stop fighting. Put an end to all the name-calling,
the purposefully inciteful comments, and the flame-baiting.

Jamie Rosen

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Mar 21, 2006, 10:36:49 AM3/21/06
to
On the subject of Haiku Gorilla vs. Gothic Gorilla:

It is only March
Think of the implications
For the next Ape month

Tom Russell

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Mar 21, 2006, 10:53:23 AM3/21/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 21

No last name for Jane
there's no such thing as hopeless
for each leaf, a face

SENRYU-KEN! (LETTERS PAGE)

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

On the subject of Haiku Gorilla vs. Gothic Gorilla:

Respectively,

Joltin' Jamie Rosen

Dear The Joltin' One,

By which time HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES will probably be on issue #
1000, thus beating CEREBUS as the highest-numbered creator-owned
series. That's right, Sims. We're calling you out. Look at it
logically:

1. Dave Sims is a misogynist.
2. Haiku Gorilla is not.
Therefore: Davd Sims is the exact opposite of Haiku Gorilla.

1. Haiku Gorilla is not a cat.
...I think you can figure out the rest for yourself.

~.~

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

OMG i cant believe youd say that GG soooooooooo rawks and culd totlly
pwnz0r that wimpy HG!!!!111!!!!1 your just jelous i bet your relly
relly
mean111!!!1!111!!!!!

Sincerely,

Jaelle

Dear Jaelle,

I must admit that at first I had some trouble deciphering your
missive. But then I got ahold of a copy of the Voynich manuscript, and
using it as a key, I was able to decode. And, having decoded, I must
say that I agree with you 100 %. Translating for those not in the
know:

Gothic Gorilla (GG) does indeed reek (rawks) like cold tater-tots
(culd totlly) of the variety pawned (pwnzOr) by J. Wellington Wimpy
(wimpy) in order to procure a hamburger (HG).

But why you're sending us your Popeye fan-fiction is beyond me.

Tom Russell

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Mar 21, 2006, 11:38:38 AM3/21/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 22

At a library
newspapers on microfiche
the dawn's red promise

Tom Russell

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Mar 21, 2006, 4:16:52 PM3/21/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 23

"Doctor Jane Goodle
"of Net.ropolis disgraced"
media monsoon

Tom Russell

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Mar 21, 2006, 5:52:48 PM3/21/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 24

Unlisted number
still, a name and a city
pumpkins come from seeds

Tom Russell

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Mar 22, 2006, 10:52:20 AM3/22/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 25

Briefcase presented
Briefcase-Eater Lad eats it
wheat threshed at harvest

"Tasty. What's in it?"
"That was your downpayment, sir."
spiders spinning silk

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used with
permission.

Adrian James McClure

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Mar 22, 2006, 10:34:31 PM3/22/06
to
Don't worry TR
I'll email you quite soon now
This series still rocks

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:10:39 PM3/23/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 26

Library a lead
Briefcase-Eater Lad follows
woodchuck's shadow seen

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:29:17 PM3/23/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 27

Claiming he's a fed
the PATRIOT ACT invoked
books weeping torrents

Jesse Willey

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:37:13 PM3/23/06
to

Said like Johnny C.
Pla-ah-ah-eese no more
I can post 'lost' Teenfactors.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:45:18 PM3/23/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 28

Newspapers retrieved
destination determined
clouds are people too


Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Non-Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used with

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 2:47:51 PM3/23/06
to

Jesse Willey wrote:
> Said like Johnny C.
> Pla-ah-ah-eese no more
> I can post 'lost' Teenfactors.

Not without my permission, you can't.

And that's seven syllables in the final line.

--Tom

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 3:13:03 PM3/23/06
to

Tom Russell wrote:
> HAIKU GORILLA # 28
>
> Newspapers retrieved
> destination determined
> clouds are people too

Hmm. I don't actually remember writing that last line. Strange. Must
be the spirit of Haiku Gorilla possessing me.

--Tom

Jamie Rosen

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Mar 23, 2006, 3:15:46 PM3/23/06
to
The difference is
Like ice cream in the summer
These stories are good.

Tom Russell

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Mar 23, 2006, 11:57:26 PM3/23/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 29

The Institute called
files consulted, address found
like a scythe through wheat

Tom Russell

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Mar 24, 2006, 12:15:52 PM3/24/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 30

Jane answers the door
teeth tearing through his briefcase
a soulless thresher

Tom Russell

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Mar 24, 2006, 12:42:01 PM3/24/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 31

"Where's the gorilla?"
drools imitation leather
summer swelter swoon

Tom Russell

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Mar 25, 2006, 8:24:04 PM3/25/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 32

He enters her house
puts sleeping beauty on sofa
time to hibernate

Tom Russell

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Mar 25, 2006, 8:26:43 PM3/25/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 32, corrected

He enters her house
puts sleeping beauty on couch
time to hibernate

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 12:05:56 AM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 33

Keen eyes scan the room
no sign of the gorilla
soft! the brown monsoon

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 2:10:42 AM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 34

No fur on the seat
digested leather spills out
cherry blossoms? no

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 2:28:44 AM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 35

Two-ply quilted love
aching puckering pink rose
a courtesy flush

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 2:39:12 AM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 36

Too much quilted love
no one foresaw breached levees
Montezuma's flood

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 3:14:49 AM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 37

Plunger not working
flooded city abandoned
a bird in the Bush

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 9:06:46 PM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 38

He seeks sustenance
cheap vinyl embarrassment
cameo apples

Tom Russell

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Mar 26, 2006, 11:19:05 PM3/26/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 39

Bites balsa wood frame
the distinct click of a gun
white lillies grinning

Tom Russell

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Mar 27, 2006, 10:24:10 AM3/27/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 40

He drops the briefcase
"Talk!" Jane's gun demands for her
cornered cunning fox

Tom Russell

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Mar 27, 2006, 4:54:27 PM3/27/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 41

"Ten thou per diem
"to bring the ape back alive."
warmth suffocates snow

Tom Russell

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Mar 27, 2006, 7:56:58 PM3/27/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 42

"But why come to me?
"Haven't seen him since I left."
reply: spring invoked

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Non-Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used
with permission.

SENRYU-KEN! (SORT OF LETTERS PAGE)

We do have a back-log of letters to address, and we promise, we
*will* get to them in due time. In fact, to reward your patience,
Haiku Gorilla _himself_ will answer the backlog of letters.
But because of the statement of ownership included on this page,
that will have to wait for next time! I'd just like to take the little
space we do have, then, to address a couple of concerns:
One being the misconception that HAIKU GORILLA is some fly-by-night
attempt to rig the Rabbit Breeder's Cup for next year's RACCies
ceremony. Nothing could be farther from the truth! First of all, the
Cup measures quantity-- volume, not issue numbers. Secondly, in the
spirit of fair play, I hereby _reject_ any and all nominations for the
Rabbit Breeder's Cup. I disqualify myself from that particular race.
The second concern of mine is for our moderator/archivist, Russ
"Eagle" Allbery. HAIKU GORILLA is a unique series, and as such poses a
unique problem for the archivist not dissimiliar from the same problem
that arose on the Wil's Ego RACC page: namely, there are an _awful_ lot
of installments. And so I'd like to go on record now and say that you
don't have to archive or keep the individual installments. I'll just
post a collected version when the time is right.

U.S. POSTAL SERVICE STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP, MANAGEMENT AND CIRCULATION
(REQUIRED BY 39 U.S.C. 3685)
1. Publication title: HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES
2. Publication number: 123456789
3. Filing Date: March 27, 2006
4. Issue Frequency: Too Frequent
5. No. of Issues published annually: More than 10, larger than a
breadbox
6. Annual subscription price: $ 0.00
7. Complete mailing address of known office of publication:
milos_...@yahoo.com
8. Complete mailing address of headquarters of general business office
of publisher: Same.
9. Full names and complete mailing addresses of Publisher, Editor, and
Managing Editor: Tom Russell, milos_...@yahoo.com, Tom Russell,
milos_...@yahoo.com, Tom Russell, milos_...@yahoo.com.
10. Owner: Haiku Gorilla runs wild and free, and is chained by no man.
11. Sex: Yes, please.
12. Tax status: oh shit! I should do that tonight!
13. Publication title: wait, didn't I already do this one?
14. Issue date for circulation data below: March 27, 2006.
15. Etent and Nature of circulation
A. Total No. Copies Printed: um, one. For my wife.
B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: zilch.
C. Total Paid and/or Request Circulation: dude, are you listening to
me? I said zilch. Geez. Way to rub it in.
D: Free distribution by mail: does this include newsgroups?
E: Free distribution outside the mail: oh, shit, this is where the
newsgroup info goes. Shit. Sorry. Man, I need to get some white-out.
F. Total Free Distribution: yeah, pretty much.
G: Total Distribution: que?
H. Copies not distributed: Possibly.
I. Total: I prefer Raisin Bran.
16. Publication of Statement of Ownership: Right here, bay-by!
17: Signature and Title of Editor, Publisher, Business Manager, or
owner:

--


Tom Russell
Director of MILOS,
LIFE AND TIMES OF
A DREAMER


"If a comic book, book, movie or novel is not somebody's fantasy
then who wrote it and to whom does it appeal to? In order for a
shared universe to have a widespread appeal, it has to appeal on
a primal level. If somebody says superhero comics are just 'wish
fulfillment' then he needs to explain what is entertainment that
doesn't satisfy our wishes and what satisfaction at all you can get
from it." -- Dr. Martin Phipps

Arthur Spitzer

unread,
Mar 27, 2006, 8:16:55 PM3/27/06
to
in article 1143507405.8...@g10g2000cwb.googlegroups.com, Tom
Russell at milos_...@yahoo.com wrote on 3/27/06 5:56 PM:

>
> SENRYU-KEN! (SORT OF LETTERS PAGE)
>
> We do have a back-log of letters to address, and we promise, we
> *will* get to them in due time. In fact, to reward your patience,
> Haiku Gorilla _himself_ will answer the backlog of letters.
> But because of the statement of ownership included on this page,
> that will have to wait for next time! I'd just like to take the little
> space we do have, then, to address a couple of concerns:
> One being the misconception that HAIKU GORILLA is some fly-by-night
> attempt to rig the Rabbit Breeder's Cup for next year's RACCies
> ceremony. Nothing could be farther from the truth! First of all, the
> Cup measures quantity-- volume, not issue numbers. Secondly, in the
> spirit of fair play, I hereby _reject_ any and all nominations for the
> Rabbit Breeder's Cup. I disqualify myself from that particular race.
> The second concern of mine is for our moderator/archivist, Russ
> "Eagle" Allbery. HAIKU GORILLA is a unique series, and as such poses a
> unique problem for the archivist not dissimiliar from the same problem
> that arose on the Wil's Ego RACC page: namely, there are an _awful_ lot
> of installments. And so I'd like to go on record now and say that you
> don't have to archive or keep the individual installments. I'll just
> post a collected version when the time is right.
>
Does Russ still archive new stories? Looking at the archives it's
been awhile.

Arthur "I can't think of anything to write here" Spitzer

Eagle

unread,
Mar 27, 2006, 9:10:35 PM3/27/06
to
Arthur Spitzer <arsp...@earthlink.net> writes:

> Does Russ still archive new stories? Looking at the archives it's been
> awhile.

Russ has them all but almost no time. Russ keeps planning on going back
to archive the ones that he's saved that are just waiting for archives and
one of these days will put the time into doing that.

--
Eagle (ea...@eyrie.org) Windrider of Crossroads
<http://www.eyrie.org/~eagle/> rec.arts.comics.creative moderator

Arthur Spitzer

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Mar 27, 2006, 9:37:16 PM3/27/06
to
in article 87r74nt...@windlord.stanford.edu, Eagle at ea...@eyrie.org
wrote on 3/27/06 7:10 PM:

> Arthur Spitzer <arsp...@earthlink.net> writes:
>
>> Does Russ still archive new stories? Looking at the archives it's been
>> awhile.
>
> Russ has them all but almost no time. Russ keeps planning on going back
> to archive the ones that he's saved that are just waiting for archives and
> one of these days will put the time into doing that.

Yeah, I know the problem. :) Just wondering. It's amazing that you're
still moderating this group. What's it been? Nine Years?

As long as you don't start talking like Obscure Trivia Lad everything
should be fine. :)

Arthur "Keep up the good work, Russ!" Spitzer

Tom Russell

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Mar 27, 2006, 11:50:57 PM3/27/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 43

"You think I loved him?"
Jane laughs. "It was just a fling!"
forgotten acorns

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Non-Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used
with permission.

SENRYU-KEN! (LETTERS PAGE)

As promised, the backlog has been taken care of with answers by
Haiku Gorilla, personally.

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

Don't worry TR
I'll email you quite soon now
This series still rocks

Passionately,

Adrian James McClure

Haiku Gorilla's answer:

Adrian McClure,
the wind blows through the meadows
so keep on rockin'

--

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

Said like Johnny C.
Pla-ah-ah-eese no more
I can post 'lost' Teenfactors.

Your Beloved Bun,

Jesse N. Willey

Haiku Gorilla's answer:

Jesse 'n' Willey
sitting in a tree, K-I-
S-S-I-N-G!
--

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

The difference is
Like ice cream in the summer
These stories are good.

Wish I Were Joltin',

Jamie Rosen

Haiku Gorilla's answer:

Non-Joltin' Jamie,
you remember Superman
brand ice cream? tasty

--

Dear Half-Brains,

Re: "Total: I prefer raisin bran"

Half a brain - whole grain
Total makes a rasin bran.
Total rasin bran.

Snively,

Whiplash

Haiku Gorilla's answer:

::PPPHHHHT!::

And that's it for the letters.

As the Californa Rasins sad, I hard it throgh the grapevne... that our
next isse featres the return of the one, the only HAKU GORLLA!!!


(C) COPYRGHT 2006 TOM RUSSLL.

Tom Russell

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Mar 28, 2006, 10:08:36 AM3/28/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 44

A knock at the door
anticipation of spring
door opens: it is he

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Non-Joltin' Jamie Rosen and used with
permission.

SENRYU-KEN! (POETRY CORNER)

And now, an appreciation...

Selfless, no reward:
(archives, mod., website hosting)
a helping talon

Tom Russell

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Mar 28, 2006, 10:33:17 AM3/28/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 45

" I knocked on each door
one-by-one, til I found yours
soft sweet summer dusk. "

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 28, 2006, 12:16:34 PM3/28/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 46

Moment's distraction
briefcase remnants disarm Jane
sudden hoary frost

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Jamie Rosen and used with permission.

(C) COPYRIGHT 2006 TOM RUSSELL.

SENRYU-KEN! (PAGE OF SPECIAL THANKS)

Thanks...

... to Jamie Rosen, for writing the first talking apes story of '05
... to Saxon Brenton, for inspiring Apes Month
... to Andrew Perron, for the Just Imagine cascade
... to Jesse N. Willey, for quixotically trying to recapture the magic
of said cascade, inspiring the creation of Haiku Gorilla... during Apes
Month
... to Adrian James McClure, for inspiring that stalwart simian's
return by creating a cascade that Jesse N. Willey quixotically tried to
hijack with the cascade that birthed H. G. in the first place
... and to Mary Russell, for saying, Hey, Why Not Give Haiku Gorilla
His Own Series.

Adrian James McClure

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Mar 28, 2006, 6:13:49 PM3/28/06
to
You're welcome. By the way, according to the "about group" page on
Google Groups, this month so far has had 177 messages posted, which is
the highest number in five years. And a lot of this is due to you. So
congratulations to you and all of us, but please post some more of Web
of Mainstream Man soon.

Tom Russell

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Mar 28, 2006, 8:55:57 PM3/28/06
to

# 4 is mostly done... I just need to get the use of a special guest
star approved, and do some editing/tightening up-- so it might end up
posted next month. Probably a Master Blaster special at that time, as
well. I dunno.

And more Haiku Gorilla. :-)

Tom "at the very least, by keeping it in one thread, those who don't
want to read it can ignore it" Russell

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 28, 2006, 9:02:36 PM3/28/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 47

Jane is pushed aside
"You're going down, monkey-boy..."
summer to a boil

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 28, 2006, 9:30:27 PM3/28/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 48

" Men kill not for food
or to protect; they strike in
mindless rage: a storm. "

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 29, 2006, 9:43:00 AM3/29/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 49

"If you fight, or not,
I'm still gonna take you back."
pristine waterfall

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 29, 2006, 10:02:16 AM3/29/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 50

" Starlings do not fight
neither consent to be caged
Imperius Rex! "

The battle is joined!
Briefcase-Eater Lad falters
crumpling like a leaf

Half-eaten briefcase
Jane holds it up: "Horse physic.
"Husband's a vet." ...cold...

Tom Russell

unread,
Mar 29, 2006, 12:07:29 PM3/29/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 44

A knock at the door
anticipation of spring

opens: it is he

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 1, 2006, 5:02:59 PM4/1/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 51

Husband's name is Steve
met in winter, wed in spring
she'll always love him

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 1, 2006, 10:27:44 PM4/1/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 52

There have been others
horses, dolphins, echidnas
sweet, sweet amplexus

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 6, 2006, 2:22:49 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 22

At a library
newspapers on microfiche
the dawn's red promise

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 6, 2006, 2:23:26 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 21

No last name for Jane
there's no such thing as hopeless
each leaf, its own face

SENRYU-KEN!

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

OMG i cant believe youd say that GG soooooooooo rawks and culd totlly
pwnz0r that wimpy HG!!!!111!!!!1 your just jelous i bet your relly
relly
mean111!!!1!111!!!!!

Sincerely,

Jaelle

Dear Jaelle,

I was a little baffled at first, but with the use of my copy of the
Voynich manuscript, I was able to translate, and, now that I understand
the code you're using, I must say, I couldn't agree more. Gothic
Gorilla (GG) does indeed reek (rawks) like cold tater-tots (culd
totlly) of the variety often pawned (pwnzOr) by J. Wellington Wimpy
(wimpy) in order to secure a hamburger (HG).
But why you're sending us your Popeye fan-fiction is quite beyond
me.

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 6, 2006, 2:41:03 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 21

No last name for Jane
there's no such thing as hopeless
each leaf, its own face

SENRYU-KEN!

Dear Senryu-Ken!,

OMG i cant believe youd say that GG soooooooooo rawks and culd totlly
pwnz0r that wimpy HG!!!!111!!!!1 your just jelous i bet your relly
relly
mean111!!!1!111!!!!!

Sincerely,

Jaelle

Dear Jaelle,

I couldn't agree more. Gothic Gorilla (GG) does reek (rawks) like

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 6, 2006, 2:45:31 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA # 23

"Doctor Jane Goodle
"of Net.ropolis disgraced"
media monsoon

Tom Russell

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Apr 6, 2006, 6:15:14 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 53

Paramedics leave
Jane offers tea to her guest
drink of the dead leaves

Briefcase-Eater Lad (C) COPYRIGHT Jamie Rosen.

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 6, 2006, 9:53:43 PM4/6/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 54

" Do you love me, Jane?
will you take my paw and sit?
sleepy autumn eve. "

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 10, 2006, 9:10:23 AM4/10/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 55

A windless winter
cold and deaf, rendered mute, still
she's run out of smiles

Tom Russell

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Apr 10, 2006, 11:35:06 AM4/10/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 56

an empty tea cup
oak door closes behind him
a cold orange sundown

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 12, 2006, 10:56:31 AM4/12/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 57

" Lost dogs brave the snow
they paw at their master's door
the house is empty. "

Tom Russell

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Apr 12, 2006, 11:38:42 AM4/12/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 58

the park: grass mattress
the sky: a twinkling blanket
sweet banana dreams

Tom Russell

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Apr 13, 2006, 12:35:12 PM4/13/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 59

" I spoke for you, Jane
and, speaking, I was defined
like shores shape their lakes. "

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 13, 2006, 3:20:56 PM4/13/06
to

HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 60

" Without Jane, no shore
a lake without, lake no more
just another ape. "

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 14, 2006, 10:46:43 AM4/14/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 61

" What use is sunrise
to the dead? my heart unjaned!
then why does it beat? "

Tom Russell

unread,
Apr 14, 2006, 10:54:01 AM4/14/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 62

" Beats because it does
and I speak because I do
it snows when its time. "

Tom Russell

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Apr 14, 2006, 11:04:50 AM4/14/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 63

" I define myself!
I am HAIKU GORILLA!
that is enough! ... frog? "

Tom Russell

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Apr 14, 2006, 4:16:48 PM4/14/06
to
HAIKU GORILLA ADVENTURES # 64

the news spreads quickly
talking ape in lush green park
dispensing advice

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