[UY][FanFic] TSY: Tales of the Daishi'cha: Furinkan Spring

[Fred Herriot]

Nerima.

Hitomi Miyaki proceeds toward the closed restaurant, clutching a bag of
groceries. Eyes dart left and right to ensure that no one has noticed her.
It was paranoid, but given the events of the past two months, understandable.
Who knew what the people around her were actually like. Were they lustful
perverts who only saw her as an object of sexual desire? Maybe intelligence
agents from other countries trying to ascertain if she was an enemy of Earth?
Business agents trying to help their bosses make a fast buck? Or...aliens?

Hitomi shakes her head, heading down the alley beside the restaurant.
She had to stop being so paranoid. Peace of a sort had descended on Nerima,
after the violent hurricane which came with her cousin's visit dissipated when
she returned to Tomobiki. Thinking of Shinobu causes Hitomi to choke on her
tears. Her family has just learned of Shinobu's kidnapping by the Mikado.
Hitomi has tried to get information, but details were quite sketchy. There
was only one solution.

Stopping at the door, Hitomi knocks. A second later, a handsome young
man dressed in shirt and jeans, looking like your average first-year college
student...if you ignored his ears...opens the door. "Hitomi-chan!" he blinks,
then smiles.

"Hi," she steps inside, slipping off her shoes. "I need to talk to you,
Fungi-kun."

* * *

Urusei Yatsura - Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring" Part 1
by Fred Herriot
450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada
go...@timebomb.on.ca
**** **** ****
Edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
A side story based on the fanfic series "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year," in
turn based on "Urusei Yatsura" created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

WRITER'S NOTES:

1) Welcome to the first Tales of the Daishi'cha, a series of side stories
concentrating on the adventures of the *daishi'cha* of Sagussa. This series,
unlike other side stories, allows other anime fans a chance to explore the
world of UY-TSY even if they are not fans of UY. Of course, this series could
take place before, during and after the time period of UY-TSY. For those
interested in contributing, contact Fred Herriot.

2) "Furinkan Spring" concerns six defence watchmistresses operating on
Earth during the period of the Nassur saga ("Nassur's Story," "Be Forever
Nassur" and "Stage Zero"). It also is a sequel to Philip Gavigan's "Shinobu:
Futures Imperfect." In "Ranma 1/2" continuity, this story takes place after
Nodoka learned of Ranma's curse (Volume 36, Part 7 in the manga). Certain
liberties have been taken with the "Ranma 1/2" storyline due to lack of
knowledge on certain points but I'll try to keep it as accurate as possible.

3) The Sagussans and Reigi Yumoa first began appearing in "Sakura's Class
Reunion." Hitomi Miyaki, Fungi, Suzuki and Takanaba first appeared in
"Shinobu: Futures Imperfect." Alex MacIntosh first appeared in "Spirit-War
Tomobiki." The Niphentaxians first appeared in "What Price For Love?" The
Mikado's influence on Tomobiki began with "Shinobu's Best Friend." Angus
McTavish first appeared in "Tripwire." Nagaiwakai Moroboshi and the
Kuromoroboshi first appeared in "Tag Race Mark Three." Fungi's name is
pronounced in proper Japanese syllabic format (FOON-GEE).

4) For translations of Sagussan terms, see the writer's notes of "Sakura's
Class Reunion," "Spirit-War Tomobiki," "Surprise, Darling! You're a Father!!"
"Noa," "Mie's Story" and "A Hectic Vacation." For an understanding of the
Sagussans' interest in Ataru and Lum, you best read those stories, as well as
the other stories of the Tiger Saga and the Great Father Ataru series.
They're available at the UY-TSY website (see the Anime Web Turnpike's Fan
Fiction listing for the URL).

5) To differentiate the Sagussans from their namesakes, the suffix "-chan"
will be used with their names.

**** **** ****

After all that...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

**** **** ****

"Shinobu-san was kidnapped?!" Fungi gapes.

The Niphentaxian holds his crying girlfriend as Hitomi tries to explain
what happened. "I...I called Aunt Kimiki...and she said...Shinobu-chan and
her friends...Lum, Ataru-san, Mendou, Megane...they were kidnapped by...some
dictator named the Mikado," she gazes questioningly at Fungi. "Who is he?!"

Fungi looks grim. "He's the present ruler of Vos, a confederation of
planets some light years from here," he gazes heavenward. "In some ways, he's
as bad as your Adolph Hitler. At present, he's on the losing side of a civil
war which has been fought for over three decades. Did your aunt say why
Shinobu-san and the others were kidnapped?"

"All she said was...it concerned that bounty hunter Shinobu-chan likes
so much," Hitomi sniffs back her tears.

"Nassur," Fungi grimly notes. "So, he can't run anymore." At Hitomi's
questioning gaze, he explains. "Nassur's considered a renegade by the Mikado.
He's been running from that madman since before our fathers were born."

Hitomi sighs, turning away from her boyfriend. "All Shinobu-chan wants
is some peace and quiet. Why does this keep happening to her?"

Fungi remains silent as Hitomi weeps. Where he came from, Shinobu was
viewed as a Sinful Doubter, a quasi-enemy of the Goddess Lum and Her Holy
Company. Fungi never truly bought into the Church's propaganda, having joined
because he feared ostricization. Assigned as an observer on Earth, he became
involved in an attempt by his companions to unseat Lum as the Supreme One,
replacing her with Shinobu. That attempt cost his companions their lives,
almost killed him, then forced him to sever contacts with his people. Of
course, he had help with that decision. Her name was Hitomi.

The Niphentaxian gently embraces the Terran, allowing Hitomi to vent her
anger and anguish over Shinobu's fate. His people would consider him blessed
for becoming the betrothed of a Holy Cousin to one of Phentax Two's present
pantheon of "deities." Truthfully, Hitomi had bumped into Fungi shortly after
Shinobu's four future selves had been eliminated. At first, surprised to see
that an alien had escaped the Sagussans' dragnet, Hitomi took pity on the
isolated observer. As time progressed and Hitomi learned that Fungi was
unlike his infamous countrymen, that pity fell away and blossomed into love.

"Shinobu-san will be safe," Fungi intones. "Remember, Ataru-san was
also kidnapped. The Sagussans have chosen him as their leader. The Mikado
has made a grave mistake. The Sagussans will punish him for it. And they'll
rescue Ataru-san and the others. You must have faith, Hitomi-chan."

Hitomi smiles. Faith seemed to come so easily to Fungi. Allowing
herself to rest, she sinks into his embrace. Fungi was right. Despite the
propensity for trouble which haunted her cousin, so far, her luck had held
out. Hopefully, it would hold out again...

* * *

"Given the incidents in Nerima over the past two months, we find we can
no longer trust anyone outside of direct U.N. control when it comes to Terran-
alien contacts," Angus McTavish sighs, gazing at the six women before him.
"While the intelligence agencies have apologized for their rogue observers,
who's to tell if the next group won't do the same thing. Isolation is no
longer the game. Therefore, to analyze the aftereffects of this incident in
Nerima, we can only turn to you people."

Before him stood six *daishi'cha.* By birth, they were two Terrans, two
Fukunokami, one Tofunokoibito and one Seishin-Urusian. All were defence
watchmistresses of the First Fleet. "Sir, we'll be more than happy to take
care of this problem," their leader, a red-haired pig-tailed Terran-born
woman, salutes. "What are the specifics?"

"Very simple," Angus smiles. "The business interests who were after
Shinobu might aim at someone else. The militarists may also move. And
despite your proficiency, other alien observers may still be active in Nerima,
which is of course a violation of U.N. resolutions concerning aliens living on
Earth. We want them gone."

"Yes, sir," the six salute...

* * *

"Quaint little place," Ranma-chan muses as she strolls along the fence,
enjoying an ice cream cone. Strange that the vendor had given her an extra
scoop, calling her cute. Ranma then spent the next ten minutes staring at her
image. She did not consider herself cute. Personally, she did not care how
others thought of her...except one.

"Akane..." Ranma sighs, stopping to sit on the fence. The haunting
image of the raven-haired Fukunokami-born watchmistress echoes in her mind's
eye. Now, THAT was supernova-class, Ranma's heart flutters. They received
their names from Noa's prior observations of Tokyo, encountering their spirit-
sisters (or in Ranma's case, spirit-brother) while scouting the area around
Tomobiki. It was nice having names; they had become status symbols on
Sagussa. Ranma hoped it would not cause problems in the future.

Finishing her cone, Ranma extracts a portable scanner from her shirt,
then sweeps around her. No alien communications system in the area. So far,
so good. Using a napkin to wipe her face, she bounds back on the fence to
move on...when a bicycle bell is heard. "Eh?" the watchmistress turns...

...and finds herself a second later nearly squashed by Shampoo's front
tire!! "Nihao, Ranma!" the delivery girl beams, bounding off to embrace the
dazed Sagussan. "What you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

Ranma glares at her. "***WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU ROAD-HOG?!?!?! DON'T
YOU BELIEVE IN GIVING PEDESTRIANS THE RIGHT OF WAY?!?!?!***"

Shampoo is nearby blown out of Nerima by the Sagussan's angry shout.
"Wh-why you scream at me...?" she mutters, sniffing back tears.

"Does THIS look like a good enough reason?!!" Ranma points at the tire
mark on her face. "You normally introduce yourself this way, *kimei'ne?!!*"

Shampoo looks, then produces a hot water kettle. "Oh, you no find hot
water!" she beams, pouring it over Ranma. "There you go!"

Ranma howls as the scalding liquid pours on her, then fixes the now very
surprised Shampoo with a lethal stare, the air around her ablaze with fury.
"That...was...not...FUNNY!!!!!!"

An explosion later sends Shampoo flying into orbit!! Panting, Ranma
straightens herself, then notices the discarded food. "Well, can't let
anything go to waste!" she sits down, then begins to eat...

* * *

Akane-chan moves from boutique to boutique, gazing at the beautiful
dresses on display in downtown Nerima. Gazing at her own shirt and slacks,
the Fukunokami-born watchmistress frowns. Definitely cannot do. Fishing into
her pocket for her wad of local currency, she does a quick analysis of prices,
then heads inside.

Sometime later, Akane emerges, now dressed in a beautiful blue skirt,
white ruffled shit, black vest and a bowtie, her old clothes in a bag at her
side. "There!" she smiles at herself. "Perfect! Now," she draws her scanner
and makes a pass over the district. "Hmm. Nothing. Well, might as well go
find the others and see what's happening."

"Akane!" a voice gasps from behind her.

The Sagussan turns to see Kasumi Tendou gazing in disbelief at her.
"Yes? Can I help you?" she politely smiles.

"Akane, you look beautiful!!" Kasumi beams, walking around her. "When
did you get the dress?!"

"Just now!" Akane blushes, twirling around. "Does it look good on me?"

"It's wonderful!!" Kasumi sighs. "Oh, Mother would be so pleased! Wait
until Ranma-kun sees this!! I bet you bought it especially for him!"

Akane blushes beet red. How did this Terran woman know of Ranma-chan's
interest in her? "W-well, I'm sure she'll like it..." she twittles her
thumbs, "...but I'm actually not interested in pursuing a relationship with
her...eh?!" she tenses as an ominous whistling becomes audible.

An explosion later sees Shampoo buried waist-deep into the concrete
beside Akane and Kasumi!! "Shampoo!" the latter gasps. "Are you alright?!"

"Oooh..." the Chinese girl moans, eyes twirling. "Someone get...number
of elephant...who hit Shampoo...!"

Akane blinks. So, this was Shampoo-chan's spirit-sister. What happened
to her? She had heard Nerima was almost as violent as Tomobiki, although they
did not have the spice of aliens living among them. Her eyes focus on the
fist-mark buried into Shampoo's cheek. The Sagussan kneels down, her fingers
lightly touching the bruise. "Ranma!" she sighs, bolting to her feet. "Can't
I take you anywhere without you trying to kill people?! Honestly!"

"Eh?" Kasumi blinks. "Oh, my!! Ranma-kun did this?!"

"She certainly did!" Akane sighs, her shoulders slumping. "She's such
an embarrassment! She has lewd dreams about me all the time, hates it when
any other woman takes interest in me and when she loses her temper, the
maintenance engineers go on strike because of the damage she causes!! Why was
she assigned to this mission?! All she does is cause trouble!"

Kasumi blinks, then gazes intently at the Sagussan. Akane's enlarged
lower earlobes, adorned by phoenix earrings, quickly catch her attention. At
that moment, Shampoo sits up, dousing everything with a fountain of tears.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! RANMA HATE SHAMPOO!!!! RANMA HATE SHAMPOO!!!!!!"

"Well, with the way you, Ukyou and Kodachi throw yourselves on Ranma all
the time, what did you expect?!" Akane sighs.

Shampoo bolts up, glaring the Sagussan in the eyes. "You stupid tomboy!
You always make Ranma violent! Shampoo love Ranma!! You cause this!"

"I caused this?!" Akane growls. "I resent that!! And why are you
calling ME a stupid tomboy?! Ranma's the tomboy!!"

Shampoo blinks at the surprising response, then gazes at Akane's dress.
"Why you dress funny? You normally dress in plain clothes!"

"Well, excuse me if I like to look good once in a while!!" Akane sneers.

"You no look good!" Shampoo snaps, then shudders, noticing that the
Sagussan's ethereal beauty has begun to attract male admirers, gathering
around their confrontation. "You...you...you have mean temper...!"

"I do?!" Akane innocently blinks, then turns to Kasumi. "Do I have a
mean temper?"

"I...don't believe so," her spirit-sister's older sister replies.

"Do I have a mean temper?!" Akane spins on a bystander.

Who is none other than Tatewaki Kunou! "You are fire, Akane Tendou!" he
gently grasps her hands. "Burning as bright as the sun! I, the Blue Thunder
of Furinkan High, Tatewaki Kunou, who has always vowed his love you, will
swear to the Gods Themselves that you are the finest example of womanhood!!"

"What about pig-tailed girl?" Shampoo wonders.

"AAAAAH!!!!" Kunou wails, gripping his hair. "No!!! The decision!!!
Who shall it be?!! Akane or my pig-tailed goddess?!! The pain it unleashes
in my heart!!! Agony, agony!!!"

With that, he staggers away, wailing. Akane stares quizzically at the
Terran martial artist. "Strange natives, I must say," she sighs. "Well, if
you'll excuse me, I have to go now...eh?!"

Everyone gasps, horrified to see a small person crawling up her skirt!
"Oh, boy!!" a cracked voice echoes from inside the skirt. "I've never seen a
prettier (blank) in all my life!"

"Sir!!" Akane blushes. "Would you please not do that in public?! I'm
sure I can arrange a private session with you!!" she laughs.

Happousai's head peeks out from under her skirt! "You mean that?! Hot-
cha, it a date, honey!!"

The men howl indignantly, many falling flat on their faces! "Akane!!"
Shampoo barks. "You say you betrothed to Ranma!! You supposed to marry
Ranma, not marry pervert!"

"'MARRY?!?!'" the Sagussan blanches. "I would never participate in such
a primitive, barbaric bonding ritual!!"

Shampoo jolts. "Primitive?!! BARBARIC?!?!"

"Oh, if only Ranma would stop beating up every girl who wants me!!!"
Akane moans, turning away, her tears glistening in the morning light. "Every
time I've sought a bond-mate, she stops me!! Can't I make my own choice, seek
my own *marei'cha?!* Why am I forced to endure such agony?! Ranma has three
beautiful women chasing her! Why can't she go after one of them?!"

Everyone is silent, gazing in disbelief and horror at the Sagussan.
"What she talk about?" Shampoo wonders.

"Isn't it obvious?" Happousai enjoys a pipe beside the Chinese warrior-
maiden. "This Akane's bisexual!"

Silence. "'This' Akane?!" Shampoo spins on the ancient master.

"Yep!" Happousai hops over to Akane, taking her skirt. "May I?"

Akane hesitantly nods. Happousai raises the skirt, revealing the
Sagussan's sequential tattoo 62836 on the backs of her thighs. "See!"

Everyone stares. "Why Akane have funny tattoo on legs?" Shampoo asks.

"Because this is not our Akane," Kasumi muses.

"***WHAT?!?!?!***" everyone screams.

"This...doppelganger of Akane?" Shampoo shudders.

"No!" Kasumi laughs. "This woman may have Akane's name, face and voice,
but I don't think she's from around here. In fact, I think she's an alien!"

Silence falls as everyone gazes at their visitor. "Oh, what a horrible
thing!!" Happousai then wails, spinning away from the Sagussan..

"What's wrong, sir?" Akane wonders, kneeling beside the martial artist.

"Tell me it's not true, Akane-chan!" he gently grasps her hands. "That
you...that you...that you...?"

"Yes...yes...yes?"

Everyone tenses, staring expectantly at Happousai. He gazes into her
eyes. "That you're not wearing underwear?!"

Everyone is then decked by an explosion!! "Of course not!!" Akane
straightens. "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing such prudish clothing! Now,
if you'll excuse me, I have a mission to perform. Good day!"

With that, Akane heads off. The Terrans remain in place. "More aliens
come to Earth?" Shampoo wonders. "I thought they go to Tomobiki!"

"There goes the neighbourhood!" a high school student sighs.

"Yeah!!" another laughs. "But she's SO cute!!!"

Howls and wolf-calls echo that statement. "Oh, my!" Kasumi smiles...

* * *

"Shampoo here, honey!" Shampoo-chan calls from a corner of Nerima near
the Nekohanten. "Nothin' in this area. If y'all ask me, I think this whole
trip's gonna be a bust!"

"Shampoo!" Eluza's voice echoes from the orbiting "Hasei'cha," command
ship for this mission. "Sensors indicate a Niphentaxian's on the loose
somewhere in Nerima! Find him!"

"Aye-aye, ma'am!" the watchmistress closes the transmitter, then sighs.
"Lyna, who put the prickle-bush into her haystack?! Pony must not be ridin'
her much these days! Ah, well..."

With that, she proceeds down the street, taking out her scanner and
sweeping a cursory pass. Shampoo-chan possessed a Ly'sha accent, Sagussa's
version of a Texan drawl. The Tofunokoibito-born watchmistress actually did
not mind being in Nerima; her spirit-sister lived here. Further, Ranma had
been assigned here, which delighted Shampoo-chan to no end. She lusted after
Ranma like the Terran-born watchmistress desired Akane. Although why Ranma
desired that snooty, stuck-up girl, Shampoo-chan would never understand.

But if the U.N. wanted results, they could be disappointed. The group
had been drilled in the importance of this mission by the Shipmistress-prime
before leaving Sagussa. Earth's treaty with Sagussa would keep the other
galactic powers at bay; without it, intergalactic war over this beautiful
world became a serious possibility. And if that crimped on Sagussa's plans
for Ataru Moroboshi, then anything became possible.

Suddenly, a stampede tears up behind her. "Shampoo!! There you are!!"

Shampoo-chan stops as Mousse races past her, ramming into a telephone
pole. "Ouch!" the Sagussan winces. "That must hurt!!"

"Oooh..." the lovesick weapons master slides to the ground. Typically,
his glasses are on his forehead.

"You okay, honey?" Shampoo-chan kneels beside him.

Hearing that, Mousse bolts to his feet, grabbing the watchmistress'
hand. "You called me 'honey!!'" he burbles delightedly, then overwhelms her
with a bear-hug. "Oh, Shampoo, finally!! You finally acknowledge your love
for me! Oh, my suffering is over!! Now, we can marry!!"

"MARRY?!?!" Shampoo-chan yelps, backing away. "Who says anythin' about
my marryin' you?!!"

With that, Mousse is sent flying into orbit! "Shampoo...!!"

"*De'ne!*" Shampoo-chan growls as she heads off.

Moments later, the watchmistress arrives at the Nekohanten. Smelling
the good food, she heads inside. Cologne busies herself at the stove. "Ah,
Shampoo, there you are," the matriarch smiles. "You're just in time...eh?"

"What?" Shampoo-chan stops.

Cologne tenses on seeing the Sagussan's tapered ears. "You are not
Shampoo!" she hisses, taking hold of her cane. "Who are you?!"

"I'm Shampoo...but not your Shampoo," Shampoo-chan replies, pulling out
her wallet. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm a little hungry and I want something
to eat."

Seeing the 10,000 yen notes, Cologne smiles. "Please, sit down. Make
yourself at home."

The Sagussan smiles, relaxing at a window booth, taking menu in hand.
Cologne quickly turns away, a bead of sweat appearing on her forehead. *Her
battle aura is unlike anything I've ever seen! Who is that woman?!*

"Y'all don't mind if I have some won ton soup and Shanghai lo mein?"
Shampoo-chan wonders. "And if you got kimch'i, that too?"

"Certainly," the Nekohanten's mistress nods.

The door opens, revealing Shampoo. "Oh, home at last!" the warrior-
maiden sighs. "Weird day today, Great-grandma!"

"What do you mean, child?" Cologne muses.

Shampoo relaxes at the bar, missing their guest. "First, run into
strange Ranma who no transform when Shampoo pour hot water on her. She punch
Shampoo into sky, then Shampoo meet strange Akane who Kasumi say not from
Earth! Pretty soon, Shampoo might meet strange Shampoo!"

"Uh..." Cologne starts to sweat.

Shampoo tenses as intense heat washes over her. "What was that?!!"
Shampoo-chan growls. "Y'all RAN into Ranma?!!"

Shampoo spins around, staring at a pointed-eared version of herself!
"Aiya!!! Who you?!!"

"Your spirit-sister!! What's this about y'all runnin' into Ranma?!"

"Why you talk funny?"

"Honey, y'all should listen to yourself sometime!"

Incensed, Shampoo then assumes a ready stance. "Fake Shampoo insult
Shampoo, eh?! We fight now!!"

"Fine!" Shampoo-chan then draws a pistol, then aims at Shampoo's face.

The Terran is understandable surprised, not to mention scared. "Um...
you point that somewhere else, please!" she stammers, backing away.

"Look," the Sagussan sighs. "I'm hungry, I want something to eat, I
have a job to do and I'm not in the mood for silliness! Understand?!"

"Understood!" Shampoo nods.

With that, Shampoo-chan returns to her seat. "What go on here, Great-
grandma?" Shampoo turns to Cologne.

"I don't know," the aged matriarch's eyes narrow...

* * *

"Thanks, Konatsu-kun," Ukyou smiles. "That should be all."

Konatsu smiles, kneeling beside his icon. Both are adorned in very
beautiful kimonos, having finished some renovations with Ucchan's. "Anything
for you, Ukyou-san," the ninja blushes, bowing to his would-be girlfriend. "I
live to serve you."

Ukyou blushes, slipping off her kimono, revealing her cooking clothes.
"Now, stop that!!" she wags her finger at him. "We're not engaged! Now,
we're going to open soon! Get ready!"

"Hai!!" Konatsu bows, then heads off to prepare himself.

Ukyou sighs. It was bad enough that she had to deal with two competing
fiancees for her Ran-chan, but to have the poor ninja take interest in her.
Almost as bad as when Tsubasa was after her. She would have to do some fast
footwork to get Konatsu away from her so she could concentrate on Ranma.

Suddenly, the front door opens. "Hey, you open?!" a strange female
voice inquires.

"Welcome to Ucchan's..." Ukyou spins around...then faints! "EH?!?!"

Ukyou-chan stands at the doorway, gazing curiously at her spirit-sister.
"Is this a normal way Terrans greet guests?" the Terran-born watchmistress
wonders, then walks in. "Are you folks open?!"

Konatsu appears. "Welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki...what?!" he stops,
eyes wide on seeing the Sagussan. "Who are you?!!"

"I'm Ukyou!" Ukyou-chan smiles.

"Wait a minute!!!" Ukyou bolts up from behind a counter. "I'M Ukyou?!!"

"Of course you are," Ukyou-chan nods. "You're Ukyou Kuonji, the person
I took my name from!"

"You took my NAME?!?!" Ukyou growls, eyes aflame as she pulls out her
combat spatula. "Who gave you permission to do that, you thief?!!"

"Is there something wrong?" the Sagussan wonders. "You actually want me
to call myself *Daishi'cha* Fifty-two-nine-sixty-three?!"

The Terran stops. "Um...well, not really!"

"Great!!" Ukyou-chan embraces her spirit-sister. "We'll get along
famously!! Now, if you don't mind, I'm hungry...not to mention attracted to
THIS lovely creature!!" she purrs, gazing at Konatsu. "What's a gorgeous guy
like you doing in a place like this, sweetie?!"

The ninja flushes, backing away from the Sagussan. "Pl-please, miss,
I'm only interested in Ukyou-san...!" he stammers.

"Hey!!!" Ukyou growls, jealous flames leaping from her body. "Leave him
alone, you horse-thief!! Go find your own!!"

In the blink of an eye, Konatsu has Ukyou in a bear-hug! "Oh, Ukyou-
san, you finally admit your love!" he wails. "Now, we can truly be together!"

"Hey, it's not what you think...!" Ukyou grunts.

"Terrans sure have such strange mating rituals!" Ukyou-chan sighs, then
waves them on. "Please, go ahead!! I love to see a young couple at work!
Might give me clues as to how to free Ranma-chan from his lust for Akane!!"

"WHAT?!?!?!" Ukyou bolts up to her spirit-sister. "Whattayamean YOU'RE
after Ran-chan?!! He's MINE!!!!"

"'He?!'" the Sagussan blinks. "MY Ranma-chan's a GIRL!!!!"

"***WHAT?!?!?!***" the Terran howls, then drops to her knees, wailing.
"Oh, no!!! Ran-chan's stuck as a girl!!! I'll never marry him now!!!"

"You must reject him, Ukyou-san!!" Konatsu embraces her.

Ukyou-chan stares at her spirit-sister, now wailing her heart out,
Konatsu begging her to come to him. "Was it something I said...?"

* * *

"How about these?" Nabiki Tendou smiles.

In her hand rest an ensemble of pictures depicting Ranma Saotome in his
female form, scantily clad as usual. "Delightful!!" Kunou shudders. "Do you
have any more of Akane?"

"Right here!" Nabiki produces another ensemble.

Akane is depicted in her gi, smashing bricks or other kata moves. "Oh,
be still, my heart!" Kunou shudders. "Since I beheld the virtuous Akane
Tendou this day downtown, draped in her new, alluring clothing, my heart began
to ache once again! Now, will I finally be able to claim my pig-tailed
goddess?!" With that, he hands Nabiki 20,000 yen. "Here!"

"Thanks!" Nabiki smiles. "If you want more, you know where...eh?!"

She stops, staring at the door of the ice cream parlour, scene of many
previous business transactions with Kunou. The door opens, a Fukunokami-born
Kodachi, her ponytail secured by a chain, entering. Dressed in more unitarian
clothing than what was considered normal for the Black Rose of St. Bacchus,
not to mention carrying a very sophisticated tricorder, Kodachi-chan sweeps
the room, then registering a negative result, proceeds to the counter. "May I
have a chocolate-vanilla two-scoop?"

"What's with Kodachi?!" Nabiki wonders.

Kunou looks. "That, despite your understandable mistake, is not my dear
yet twisted sister," he crosses his arms. "First, her ears are deformed.
Second, she would not wear chains in her hair."

"Chains...?" Nabiki blinks. "Holy!! She's an alien! Fukunokami, I
think her race's called. Sorta alien version of the Lords of Luck."

"You know of them?"

Nabiki flushes. "Well, when Akane was training Shinobu Miyaki, I got
curious and did some research."

"Ah!" Kunou nods understandingly. "It was truly not Nerima's finest
hour, the way many treated Miyaki-san. Especially that sickening website on
the Internet the Sagussans learned of."

*Tell me something I don't already know,* Nabiki turns a deep cherry.

Once she has her order, Kodachi-chan turns, taking a lick of her ice
cream. Her eyes lock with Nabiki's. The Sagussan pauses, eyes widening on
seeing the very cultured middle Tendou daughter. Nabiki shudders under that
intent gaze, then perspires as Kodachi-chan seductively licks her lips. With
a casual wink, the watchmistress turns and departs. "Very strange," Kunou
muses, crossing his arms. "I have never seen such passion. She may indeed
outdo my sister. What do you think, Nabiki...Nabiki?!"

He turns, then sees Nabiki crouching under the seat, panicked. "Is...is
she gone...?!" she stammers...

* * *

"You delinquents!!!" Hinako Ninomura screams as she pulls out a five yen
piece. "You stop right there!!! HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

A blast of energy lashes out, snagging the group of bullies out to kill
Hikaru Gosunkugi. The frail student hits the dirt as his attackers' fighting
energy is siphoned off, drawn into his homeroom teacher. In a second, the
pre-pubescent girl transforms into her adult self. "There!" she nods as the
bullies collapse. "That should teach you not to assault innocent students!!
Are you alright, Hikaru-kun?"

"Th-th-thanks, Sensei," Gosunkugi stammers, brushing himself off. "I
didn't see them coming until they were atop me!"

"You must be more careful," Hinako sighs. "I might not be around in the
future. Go home."

"Yes, Sensei," he bows, then heads off.

Hinako sighs, gazing at the people at her feet. What was it with this
current generation?! No respect for their teachers and elders, always preying
on each other...it was enough to drive one mad. Hinako hated the fact that
she was forced to live most of the time in a child's body. But thanks to her
spending so much time as a thirteen year old, Hinako could emotionally
recharge herself for occasions like this. Still...

"Another group?" a voice inquires from behind her.

Hinako feels her cheeks flame. She turns to see Souun Tendou approach.
Beside him was Genma Saotome (as human) and his wife Nodoka, all fresh from
the local bathhouse given the toiletries they carried. "Oh...S-souun-kun!"
Hinako flushes. "Yes, another group!"

Nodoka gasps. "Souun, is this Hinako?!"

"Um...yes!" the Tendou patriarch blushes.

"Hello!!" Nodoka gently grasps Hinako's hand. "Oh, its' so good to meet
you, Ninomura-san! My son's told me so much about you!!"

"Ah, you're Saotome-kun's mother!" Hinako laughs, then shudders.

A second later, the teacher had reverted to her child's body. "Oh, my!"
Nodoka gasps, then stares at her husband. "I see you were right about this
part!"

"Unfortunately," Genma adjusts his glasses.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Hinako leaps into a startled Souun's arms, her
tears dousing everyone, transforming Genma into his panda-form. "How can I be
a normal woman when I turn back into this?!! How?!! How?!!"

"There, there, Hinako-chan!" Souun shudders, wishing the teacher would
finally leave him alone. "I...I'm sure you'll evolve from this sooner or
later...!!"

"Excuse me, please!" a voice calls out from behind them.

The four look as a fair-haired Seishin woman walks past them, tricorder
out and scanning. Beside her ambled a giant cougar-like beast with bat wings!
Passing her scanner over the dazed bullies, Azusa-chan sighs. "No, not here!"
she muses. "Better go look elsewhere!"

The four watch her go. "Hey!!!" Hinako then leaps to her feet, five yen
coin in hand. "How dare you walk around with such a dangerous animal, you
delinquent?!!"

The Sagussan stops, then looks back. "Are you speaking to me?"

"Yes, I'm speaking to you!" Hinako growls. "HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

Sensing the energy blast, Azusa leaps high into the air, pivots, then
slams into Hinako's breastbone, knocking the startled teacher off her feet.
The blast goes wide, nailing Genma and Souun, the former having knocked Nodoka
out of danger just in time! "NO!!!!" Hinako howls as the energy flows into
her, causing another growth spurt. "SOUUN-KUN!!!!!!"

Azusa rolls back to her feet, then draws her pistol as Hinako spins on
her, murder in her eyes. "You dare make me use my powers on the man I
love?!!" the teacher growls. "Prepare to face the full power of Anything-Goes
Martial Arts!!! HAPPO-GO-YEN-SAT-TSU!!!!"

Wordlessly, Azusa stands her ground. Hinako gasps as something goes
wrong. "Ahhh!!" she cries out, feeling her powers overload as they attempt to
absorb the energy of someone possessing an eight hundred year lifespan.

"Hi-...na-...ko...!" Souun moans.

An explosion occurs!! Still an adult, Hinako is knocked through a wall
as Azusa relaxes, holstering her weapon. "You should learn never to attack a
non-Terran with something only meant for Terrans," the watchmistress warns.
"It's sheer luck that you didn't kill yourself doing that...eh?!"

Her eyes widen as Hinako rises, the fire in her eyes burning bright.
"You...delinquent!!" the teacher snarls. "How dare you defy your elders?!"

Azusa shudders, floating between mad lust and righteous indignation.
"Well, I may not..." *Oh, she's beautiful!!* "...look like it..." *How did she
grow like that?!* "...but I'm well over nine hundred years old..." *Oooh, wait
until I get you alone, sexy!!* "...almost all of that spent in cryofreeze!"

"Nine hundred?!" Nodoka blinks, then turns to Hinako. "You better stop,
Hinako! I don't think Happousai gave you the ability to absorb energy from
someone THAT old!!"

"Besides, I'm not one of your students," Azusa turns to leave. "Now, if
you'll excuse me, I've a job to get done. Good day!"

The Sagussan blows Hinako a kiss as she runs off, her sandpanther
following her. The teacher is understandably flushed. "D-d-did you s-see th-
th-that?!" she stammers, turning to Nodoka. "S-she...s-she...?!"

Hinako passes out!

* * *

To be continued...

Urusei Yatsura - Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring" Part 2
by Fred Herriot
450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada
go...@timebomb.on.ca
**** **** ****
Edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
A side story based on the fanfic series "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year," in
turn based on "Urusei Yatsura" created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

IN THE FIRST PART OF "FURINKAN SPRING," six *daishi'cha*...Ranma (#91129),
Akane (#62836), Shampoo (#43059), Ukyou (#52963), Kodachi (#51789) and Azusa
(#16756)...are assigned to Nerima to examine the aftermath of events depicted
in "Shinobu: Futures Imperfect." Ranma-chan runs into Shampoo (literally!),
then socks her into orbit. Akane-chan meets Kasumi Tendou after a shopping
spree, then later meets Happousai. Shampoo-chan and Ukyou-chan encounter
their spirit-sisters. Kodachi-chan and Azusa-chan come across Nabiki Tendou
and Hinako Ninomura respectively, both finding them very attractive...

**** **** ****

Thus...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

**** **** ****

Later that day, the core members of the "Nerima Crisis Management Team"
muster at the Tendou dojo. "Let me see if I understand this correctly," Souun
Tendou muses. "You're saying that there are strange doubles of Ranma-kun and
the others running around Nerima?"

Heads bob up and down. "I think that girl we met looked a lot like
Azusa Shiratori, Tendou-kun," Genma muses.

"Please don't speak about her!" Hinako wails, tightly holding Souun's
arm. "I could actually feel her undress me with her eyes!!"

"Um...Sensei, isn't it odd that you haven't gone back to your child's
body yet?" Akane Tendou wonders.

Hinako blinks, then looks at herself. She had not absorbed any energy
from Azusa, yet here she was, still an adult. Happousai taps her acupuncture
points. "Incredible!" the aged master gasps. "Her body's acupuncture
structure has been reforged!! It hasn't affected her powers, but her growth
abilities have been blocked! I've never seen anything like this!"

"What?!" Souun gasps.

"You mean...I'm stuck as an adult?!" Hinako gasps.

"'Fraid so," Happousai sighs.

"Oh, Souun-kun!!!" Hinako bear-hugs the Tendou patriarch. "Now we can
be together for the rest of our lives!!"

"H-hey..." Souun gasps.

"So, what was this other me like?" Akane stares at Kasumi.

"Probably another ugly tomboy like you!" Ranma sneers.

Akane clobbers him with Mallet-sama! "Actually, Akane-chan was very
cute and feminine," Kasumi smiles. "The dress she bought attracted everyone's
attention, including Happousai's."

"Ah, Akane-chan!" Happousai blissfully smiles. "What a sweet girl! She
actually offered to go on a date with me!"

"Ugh!! Is she blind?!" Akane winces.

"I don't believe so," Kasumi muses. "Nabiki, you said that double of
Kodachi-san was Fukunokami."

"Um...y-yeah, sh-she seemed that w-way to me," Nabiki stammers.

"I don't believe they're what we'd automatically assume they'd be,"
Kasumi explains. "Ranma-kun's and Ukyou's doubles are Terran."

Shampoo and Ukyou nod conformation. "What do you mean, Kasumi?" Souun
wonders.

"Well, there's this one other race that've suddenly taken interest in
our planet," his oldest daughter hums. "Remember those incidents with Miyaki-
san over the last while? The Tripwire incident? Those women who wear that
phoenix insignia on their uniforms?"

"The Sagussans, you mean!" Nabiki snaps her fingers.

"Yes. Akane's double wore phoenix earrings. I believe we're dealing
with Sagussans, not any of the other races Earth's previously encountered."

"So what would bring them here?" Genma wonders, crossing his arms.
"Nabiki, do you have any idea what these people are like, what they want?"

"That's the problem; no one knows what's really going on with them,"
Nabiki shrugs. "They're very subtle when it comes to making waves on Earth,
not like the Urusians or the others. Other than the Tripwire thing and what
happened in Oshio, it's believed that they also stopped a Niphentaxian fleet
from invading Earth back in February. As for what they want, believe it or
not, they want Ataru Moroboshi!"

Ranma winces. "That pervert?! Ugh, now I feel insulted!"

"Hey!!" Akane growls, glaring at her fiance. "You don't know the half
of what he's been through! Shinobu told me everything about him...including a
story about a ninjitsu database in his subconscious which came close to
destroying all of Tokyo some months ago!!"

"That?!" Ranma snorts. "Heh! I could've beaten it easily!!"

"Don't be too sure of that, son-in-law," Cologne interrupts, her eyes
narrowing. "There are certain things on this planet even *I* would not
challenge. The *saikoo jinseijitsu* is one of them!"

Ranma shudders. "Other than that, it is believed they're bisexual,
confirmed by Kodachi's interest in me and Azusa's in Hinako-sensei; very
advanced technologically, even more so than the Urusians; they want to be our
friends and are willing to defend us against other aliens...and that's it!"
Nabiki shrugs. "Because they haven't really gone public, a lot of what I just
said is conjecture from the Internet. I've seen a couple websites on them,
but since they're so recent, there's little information. Akane, did Shinobu
say anything more about them?"

"Well, I heard is that they don't like everyone in Tomobiki and that one
of them...their leader, I think; her name's Noa..." Akane muses, "...was the
one who bonded Ataru to Lum years ago, which was the primary reason Shinobu
lost him after Lum's arrival."

"That still isn't enough," Souun crosses his arms. "There has to be
some way to learn more! Perhaps contact someone in Tomobiki..."

Suddenly, the front door opens. "HAPPOUSAI!!!!!!"

The aged master jolts, shuddering with anger as a diminutive figure
stands in the doorway, his body aglow with a titanic battle aura. "So there
ye are, ye scallywag!!" a thickly-accented voice growls. "Still thinkin' yuir
th' tops, eh?! Time fuir ye ta put yuir money where yuir mouth is!!"

"Is that a fact?!" Happousai faces his challenger, his own battle aura
surrounding him. "Then we'll settle it right here and now!"

Everyone beats a fast retreat as the two face off. Hands drift to their
side...then they produce lace brassieres! "SEE THAT?!?!?!" both bellow.

An explosion decks everyone else!! "Ringo!!!" Happousai then grins.
"What brings you here?!!"

"Happy!!" Alex MacIntosh laughs, playfully elbowing the aged master in
the chest. "Ye still have it, laddie!! Where'd ye find that bonnie bra?!"

"Hey!!!" Akane clobbers them both with Mallet-sama! "Those are MY
bras!! Give them back!!!"

"Need I explain?!" Happousai chuckles.

Both merrily howl, high-fiving the other, then throwing an arm around
the other's shoulder. "I take it you two know each other," Ranma sighs.

"My boy, this is my friend Alex MacIntosh!" Happousai escorts the
Scotsman to Ranma. "His friends call him Ringo! He's the chief druid of the
McTavish Clan in Scotland! He 'n' I were going after skirts since long before
your father was born!! Alex, this here's my student Ranma Saotome!"

"Ah!" Alex then does a swift inspection. "Th' lad's got potential,
Happy! Ye sure know how ta pick 'em!!"

"Hey, I don't recall askin' for your approval!!" Ranma snarls.

A second later, the hapless martial artist is pitched into the koi pond
out front! "Lad, is it true that if ye splash him with cold water, he turns
into a bonnie lassie?!" Alex turns to Happousai.

Ranma burst out of the pool a second later. "Hey!! Why'd you do that,
you lech?!" she growls. "You're worse than the old freak!!!"

"We nae be perverts, laddie," Alex draws his pipe and lights it. "We be
a'havin' fetishes aboot collectin' ladies knickers!" His eyes then widen on
seeing Ranma's curvaceous features. "Lad!! Ye nae be a'kiddin'!!! She's a
beauty!!"

"I tol' ya!" Happousai laughs. "Now, if I could only get her into a
bra, it would be perfect!!"

"We'll see about that!!!" Ranma bolts to her feet, charging at the door.

Alex draws his shillelagh, closing the door before Ranma could get
close. Crash! A dent in the door! A *thump!* of someone falling to the patio
outside. "Lad's tae violent for his own good, Happy!" Alex muses, then turns
to see Cologne still balanced on her cane. "I'll be a...!!" he gasps, eyes
wide. "Cologne, lass, is that you?!"

The aged Chinese matriarch then backs away from the lascivious Scotsman.
"Now, now, Alexander...you stop that!" she babbles. "Stop that!!"

"C'mere, love!" Alex charges at her.

"AAAAAH!!!!" Cologne howls as she runs away. "Alex!!! Help!!!"

The two have a merry chase around the Tendou home. Every time Alex gets
close, his shillelagh taps Cologne on the posterior, causing her to leap up,
screaming. Happousai rolls on the floor, howling with glee. Everyone else
shudders. "Great-grandma know strange people!" Shampoo muses.

Finally, after Souun placed several choice pieces of underwear in front
of the visiting Scotsman to calm him down (getting a taste of Mallet-sama from
Akane as a result!), Alex relaxes by the table. "Me friend Hayao Sakurambou
asked me tae come by ta tell ye about those bonnie lasses from Sagussa," he
draws on his pipe. "They be after Ataru Moroboshi, alright, causin' all sorts
o' ruckus in Tomobiki as a result! Hayao be askin' Koosei Ryooki tae contact
th' lassies tae find out what be a'goin' on with the six here! But I think
they be a'cleanin' up th' mess wee Shinobu dragged here!"

"Why?!" Akane wonders. "Shinobu meant no harm! It was the other jerks
trying to hurt her!!"

"Lass, ye dinnae can see th' future like I can," Alex's eyes narrow.
"Ye see, there's this one hangover from them troubles ye had before...and wi'
his being here, more's gonna come. Ye'll need th' Sagussans tae clean it up
if ye dinnae want to experience what Tomobiki goes through every day!"

"That's trouble," Genma grimly muses.

Suddenly, the door opens. "Hey!! Did someone leave this out here?!"

Everyone spins around to see six women dressed in their duty jumpsuits.
"Uncanny!" Souun gasps.

An unconscious Ranma is now draped over Ranma-chan's shoulder. "Sorry
to bother you," Akane-chan bows. "May we come in?"

* * *

"An alien spy in Nerima?!" Souun exclaims.

After Ranma recovers and reverts to his male form, the visiting
Sagussans sit across from their hosts. "That's right," Akane-chan nods. "He
must be the leftover from the group who tried to convert Shinobu into her
'Kali' future-self. We're not sure where he is, given he has not operated a
transmitter since we've been here. Thus, we're forced to carry out a ground
search. To ensure no difficulties, we were chosen because of our close
resemblance to our spirit-sisters native here."

"It no close enough!" Shampoo growls. "Shampoo no have pointed ears,
nor talk funny!!"

"Y'all listen yourself, honey?" Shampoo-chan icily hums.

They exchange glares, lightning flashing between them. "Well, I for one
am glad someone's come to clean up this place!" Akane nods. "The idea of
power-mad lunatics running around hurting people scares me! If Akane-chan and
the others are here to do something about it, let them!"

"Agreed," Genma nods. "We've challenged and defeated the best our race
can throw at us! But dealing with threats from other worlds is another thing!
Look what happened when Hinako tried to absorb Azusa's combat energy."

"I just gave Hinako-chan the necessary...push...to remain an adult,"
Azusa seductively winks at the teacher.

Hinako sputters, hiding behind Souun. "Be that as it may, our
inexperience in dealing with Terrans will hamper us," Akane-chan continues.
"Ranma and Ukyou were born here, but like us all, when we were re-born as
*daishi'cha,* we were mentally programmed to espouse Sagussan social and
cultural beliefs. Scant few of us have first-contact experience with other
races. Due to the speed by which rumour and innuendo spreads from Tomobiki,
those who do are well known. Hence, we needed to contact you as soon as
possible for assistance."

"I see," Souun muses. "Well, given your race's past record in dealing
with ours, I suppose we could help."

"Wonderful!" Akane-chan claps her hands. "We'll get along famously!"

"Well, now that's settled, how about lunch?" Kasumi proposes.

Everyone nods approvingly...

* * *

"No exchange of information?!" Takanaba gasps, gazing at the phone.
"What madness is this...?!"

"Very simple, Takanaba-san," the other end replied. "The Sagussans were
swift to determine what happened in Nerima. They warned the United Nations
that under no circumstances will any exchange of technology be permitted
unless it is under the strictest of controls. Even contemplating such a thing
is in technical violation of their Non-Interference Directive. After what
nearly happened to Shinobu Miyaki..."

"Thank you!" the businessman snaps, hanging up the phone. "Damn!!"

The operation involving Shinobu had been a disaster. That just on the
heels of the "Tripwire Incident" gave that strange world of young, naive alien
women tremendous influence in the United Nations. An Earth-Sagussa treaty was
coming, no doubt about that. But this treaty would ensure enterprising
individuals like him would never benefit from imported Sagussan technology.
Having observed their weapons and other equipment at work made Takanaba
salivate. Now, his dreams were dust. Even his nanite project was gone,
mysteriously wiped out some time before Shinobu's planned kidnapping.

The telephone rings again. "Yes!!" Takanaba barks.

"We should meet sometime soon," a familiar voice announces...

* * *

Hitomi retraced her route to the abandoned restaurant. Fungi had little
money reserved when he was cut off from Phentax Two. Supporting him proved
easy. Her part-time job gave her a considerable stipend. Further, after the
mess with Shinobu, Noa passed on a considerable amount of Sagussan gold coins,
several million yen's worth at present value, to her family to pay for damages
from the battle over her cousin. The Miyakis accepted it without complaining;
perhaps this was the Sagussan way of apologizing for the many pains they
inadvertently unleashed on Shinobu.

Knocking at the door, she waits. She is unaware of the person reading a
newspaper across the street watching her. The door opens a second later,
revealing her Niphentaxian boyfriend. "Hi, Hitomi-chan!" he beams, embracing
her. "C'mon in!"

"Thanks," she slips off her shoes, then follows Fungi into his makeshift
living room, once the restaurant's dining room. "What've you been doing?"

"Getting my computer back on-line," he sits on a futon, keying several
controls to the hybrid Terran-Niphentaxian computer sitting on the floor
nearby. "So far, all the links are working alright. No one's detected me as
of yet, unless the Sagussans have passive monitors in the system and they're
keeping quiet. But...I found this."

Hitomi blinks, then pales as a familiar title flashes on the screen:
THE SHRINE OF KALI-SHINOBU. "Oh, gods, not that again!!"

"Masaki Taga wasn't the only one who had back-up diskettes of this filth
stashed away," Fungi grimaces. "I'm trying to trace the new server location.
Once I do, I can shut it down. But we'll have to locate the diskettes this is
stored on to finally eradicate all hopes of that monster ever coming to life."

Hitomi nods. Fungi had told her about his deceased friends. While
loyal to the Church of Lum, then later to Kali, they were really no different
than herself. Thrown together because of peer pressure, sticking to each
other's side in an alien landscape, believing they knew it all. Typical
youthful enthusiasm; the team's leader herself was in her mid-twenties. And
they paid for it. Either drained of their living energy by Kali or gunned
down by the rival teams that bloody night.

Suffering survivor's guilt, Fungi was driven to ensure that Kali would
never exist. Hitomi supported him as best she could, but there was only so
much she could do. Niphentaxians were loathed by the United Nations...not to
mention the Sagussans, now unseating the Urusians as the dominant force
shielding this world. Hitomi did not mind. The Sagussans she met were nice
people despite their initial distrust of any relation to Shinobu. In fact,
Priss recently told Hitomi a petition was being passed around to get people's
approval for Shinobu to live on Sagussa, be part of their dawning society.

Could she go up to one and ask about Fungi? Would they listen to her
or, fearing a possible threat against Ataru, lash out and hurt her beloved
before understanding he was different than Oogi's ilk? Hitomi sighs. Very
few remained on Earth given what just happened. Pathfinder Troop Six were in
Tomobiki, guarding against any Vosian incursions there. The "Hasei'cha" was
in orbit over Oshika, protecting Nassur's wife during her pregnancy. Gazing
at Fungi, Hitomi sighs. She had to try.

"Shut that off," she gently embraces him from behind. "You're working
yourself into a lather. It's time to rest for now."

Fungi shudders. "I have to do this, Hitomi-chan..."

"No!" she forcefully insists. "Your race's big problem is that you
focus yourself on one thing so intently, you don't pay attention to more
important matters. I don't think your friends would really want that for you,
Fungi-kun. Don't compound their mistake by hurting yourself. If you do that,
you're letting Oogi and those other idiots win. You're letting Kali win!"

He thinks, then nods, shutting off his machine. "You're right. But
I... I still don't know anything about those other groups who came after
Shinobu-san. If I don't learn, I don't think she'll be really safe."

"Save it 'till later," she kisses the tip of his ear.

He shudders, then he gently draws her to him, their lips passionately
caressing. The observer outside smiles, folds up his paper, then heads off...

* * *

"'Morning!" Akane calls out as she descends from her bedroom, sniffing
the air. "Wow!! What smells so good?!"

"I don't know," Souun looks up from his go game with Genma. "Kasumi is
cooking up a storm this morning!"

"Good morning, Father, Mr. Saotome, Akane," Kasumi then descends from
her bedroom, still in her nightgown.

Everyone spins around to gaze at the elder Tendou daughter. "Kasumi!!"
Souun gasps. "But...if you're there, who's in the kitchen?!"

"I've no idea, Father," Kasumi innocently shrugs.

"Good morning, everyone!!" a cheery Akane-chan emerges from the kitchen,
a tray with a virtual feast in hand. "Breakfast is on!"

Souun and Genma faint! "My!!" Kasumi blinks. "It looks delicious!"

"Thank you!" the Sagussan relaxes. "I decided to give you all a
traditional Sagussan forenoon meal as an ice-breaker. Where are the others?"

"Still asleep, I think," Akane sits down, then picks up a bowl of broth
filled with meat and rice, taking a sniff. "What's this?"

"Pyogh-giku," Akane-chan explains. "Broiled nightlizard meat with a
grain similar to what you call barley. Try it."

Everyone stops. "Night-...LIZARD?!?!" Akane pales.

"Akane, your spirit-sister just went to a lot of trouble to feed us,"
Kasumi warns. "Besides, I don't think the Sagussans are so ignorant that
they'd inadvertently poison us."

Akane hums, then picks up a strip of pale meat. Taking a hesitant bite,
she blinks on the rich flavor, then digs in. "Wow!!" she gasps. "This tastes
just like pork!"

"Thank you, Akane-chan," Kasumi picks up her bowl, then proceeds to eat.

Seeing the two women enjoying the dish, Genma and Souun quickly dig in.
"Now, the others seem a little tardy," Akane-chan muses, then calls out, "P-
chan!! Come in here please!"

The Terrans gasp as a dark-furred sandpanther walks into the living
room, questioningly growing. "P-chan, sweetie, do go upstairs and fetch the
others for forenoon," Akane-chan sweetly intones. "I have a stormwalker rib
for you!"

Growling affirmatively, P-chan races upstairs. "Wh-wh-what was th-th-
that?!" Akane stammers, pointing after the sandpanther.

"P-chan, my sandpanther!" the Sagussan beams. "Isn't he cute?!"

"He's adorable!" Kasumi beams. "But...I confess I've never seen an
alien tiger with wings before!"

"Tiger...?" Akane pales, then looks up.

An inhuman shriek echoes her words, followed by crashing noises and
Ranma-chan's screams. "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Ranma races down the stairs
at top speeds, eyes wide with panic. "A CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!"

Before the agoraphobic martial artist could escape, P-chan bounds from
upstairs, pinning Ranma to the floor. "Thank you, P-chan!!" Akane-chan pulls
out a freshly cut stormwalker rib the size of her arm. "Here you go!!!"

The sandpanther catches the meaty offering, then heads out to nibble.
"What was that thing?!!" Ranma bolts to his feet, gazing at the Sagussan...

...and gets bashed down by Ranma-chan with a mallet marked ULTIMATE
IDIOT BASHER! "Stop yelling at Akane!!!"

Ranma moans. "Where did you get that?" Genma wonders.

"Oh, this used to be Ataru's!" Ranma-chan takes her place, stowing the
sledgehammer. "He stopped using these things when he gained the ability to
transform into the Cyborg, so we get to use them!" Noticing the dish, she
beams. "Ah!! Time to eat!"

Akane-chan twitches with mild annoyance as Ranma-chan picks up her bowl,
then starts. "Ranma..."

"What...is it...Akane?" the latter mouths through bites.

"Where are your manners?" Akane-chan icily intones. "Not everyone is at
the table yet! Our hosts eat first, you know?!"

"Oh," Ranma-chan licks her lips, refilling her bowl. "Kodachi's already
here with a picnic forenoon for Nabiki."

A high-pitched shriek echoing from upstairs follows her statement. That
in turn is followed by a panicked Nabiki racing through the living room still
in her nightgown, followed by Kodachi-chan with a picnic basket. "Nabiki-
chan, come back here!!" the watchmistress cries. "I have your breakfast all
ready for you!"

"Leave me alone!!" Nabiki fearfully cries as they disappear out the
front door.

"Now, there's something you don't see every day," Souun muses.

"Agreed," Genma hums, then notices Ranma sitting still. "Boy, why
aren't you taking part in this lovely meal Akane cooked?!"

"Because she cooked it!!" Ranma snaps, not noticing the battle aura
forming around his spirit-sister. "Knowing her, it's probably so rotten,
we'll all get poisoned!!!"

Akane-chan looks hurt...then everyone shudders as Ranma-chan rises, eyes
ablaze with fury as she glares at her spirit-brother. "First, you yell at
Akane, now you insult her cooking?!!" the watchmistress howls with frightening
rage, fist cocked to strike. "You jerk, DIE!!!!!!"

An explosion later sees Ranma buried head-first into the koi pond!! "He
definitely deserved that!" Genma muses.

"Agreed," Souun nods.

Akane-chan moans...

* * *

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Ranma!!" Akane-chan snaps later that
morning. "Pounding one of our hosts because my spirit-sister isn't too
proficient in cooking!! What's with you?!"

Ranma-chan and her would-be bond-mate walk ahead of their namesakes
downtown, clad in casual civilians. "Well, I can't help it if the lug doesn't
appreciate good cooking, especially your good cooking!!" she snarls, firing an
icy glare at Ranma, then returning to Akane-chan. "If he doesn't want to eat,
he doesn't have to...but he doesn't have to rub it into your face at the same
time!!"

"Oh, you're impossible!!!" Akane-chan groans, looking away from Ranma-
chan. "First, it was Dakejinzou, then Bushi, then Elle, then Shinobu, then
even Lum!! Every woman I've taken a liking to, you either put into the
medical station or chased away!! Why can't you leave me alone?! Ukyou and
Shampoo are throwing themselves at you and you pretend they don't exist!!"

"Why should I want them?!" Ranma-chan leaps down from the fence, staring
at Akane-chan. "They drive me up the wall with their nightly ambushes, their
strip shows...Lyna, even sending their companion droids after me all the time!
Why can't you accept the fact that I love you?!" she grasps her companion's
hand. "I've loved you since the day I was re-born!! What do idiots like them
have that I don't have?!"

"Charm, personality, tact, an even temper, culture...!" Akane-chan
rambles off, counting off on her fingers.

Looking like she was just stabbed in the heart, Ranma-chan fixes her
with a determined glare. "Okay! You want it that way?! Then you better be
prepared for this!!"

Akane-chan gasps as her senses detect Ranma-chan's psi shields fall
away. *Mavan'shagh,* the one thing almost guaranteed to win Akane-chan over.

Unless someone gets into the way.

Or rather, two someones.

"No, you don't Ranma!!" Ukyou-chan growls as she and Shampoo-chan face
the object of their desires, now between Ranma-chan and her target.

"If y'all do that to someone, it's gonna be me!!" Shampoo-chan vows.

"Hey!!!" Ranma-chan growls, backing off. "Get out of here, you idiots!!
I'm busy with Akane!!"

"Busy, huh?!" Ukyou-chan sneers. "This idiot wouldn't give you the time
of day, Ranma!" she points accusingly at Akane-chan, then leaps into her
would-be lover's arms. "But I'll give you ALL of me!!"

A mallet smacks into her head! "Says who?!" Shampoo-chan snarls.

Instantly, the two face off, their battle auras rising ominously over
the district. "Man, and I thought I had problems!!" Ranma gasps.

Suddenly, Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan spin on Ranma-chan, hands darting
to undo their shirt tops. "Ranma, honey, it's time for you to choose which
one y'all really want!" the latter sweetly smiles.

"Right now!!" the former licks her lips.

Sensing their psi-shields starting to drop, Ranma-chan emits a shriek as
she races off. "YEAHHH!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! AKANE, HELP!!!!!!"

"COME BACK HERE!!!!!!" the two race off in pursuit.

Leaving a very embarrassed Akane-chan with her spirit-sister and Ranma.
"This is going to be such a disaster!" the Sagussan moans.

"How cute!!" Akane beams. "Ranma-chan's so chivalrous!"

"How would you know chivalry?!" Ranma sneers.

Mallet-sama answers that!

* * *

Downtown, Nabiki window shops, having just returned from the betting
hall, winning a cool five hundred thousand yen from three races. Well, the
taxes were paid for the month. However, monetary concerns were not foremost
in her mind this morning as images of her breakfast with Kodachi-chan replay.
It was a scrumptious meal, cooked with loving care. Nabiki enjoyed herself...
right to the point where she even permitted the Sagussan a kiss. Kodachi was
now searching for the missing spy, promising to be back for lunch.

*I have until then to figure out a way out of this!* Nabiki shudders.
It was not that she was offended by the watchmistress' interest in her, though
things like that normally sickened the middle Tendou daughter. But Kodachi's
naive honesty had taken Nabiki off guard. If Kodachi had pushed the matter,
Nabiki could find herself surrendering to the Sagussan's advances. If that
happened, what would happen to her family? She had responsibilities here.
She could not ignore them to pursue a relationship on a planet thousands of
parsecs away! Nabiki sighs. Rationalizing a relationship was not her strong
suit. Finances were better; numbers were easier to comprehend than the twists
and turns of one's heart.

She blinks as a stampede gets her attention. Turning, she sees Ranma-
chan race down the street, Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan on her tail. Right
behind them was Kunou screaming for his pig-tailed goddess. Then came Ryouga
Hibiki (who probably did not know of the Sagussans' presence) screaming at
Ranma for hurting Akane. Then Mousse, with glasses on forehead, pining for
Shampoo. Then Konatsu pining for Ukyou (also not realizing the woman before
her was her Sagussan spirit-sister). Then Kodachi Kunou in martial arts
uniform screaming challenges to Ranma. Mr. Kunou with a razor ready to shear
Ranma's pig-tail. Then Ranma, Akane and Akane-chan, trying desperately to
calm everyone down. "Don't they ever stop?" Nabiki sighs as she turns away.

"I see everyone's pretty energetic today," a voice comments.

"'Morning, Sensei," Nabiki smiles as Hinako enters. "Get much sleep
last night?"

"Actually, I did," the teacher admits. "But this morning, Azusa showed
up out of nowhere with breakfast and fed me. It was...actually enjoyable."

"Ditto with Kodachi and me," Nabiki admits. "Like it or not, those two
are serious."

They exchange looks. "Oh, my! You mean you actually find Kodachi...?"
Hinako blinks.

"Yep," Nabiki nods. She would normally not admit such private feelings
to anyone, preferring to maintain a cool, detached demeanor. But shared pain
meant shared healing. "I mean, I really can't see myself doing anything with
her. I can't give her what she wants...but I'm damned if I can't see a way
out of this. I can guess you're the same way."

"I am," Hinako nods. "I am in love...but it's your father I desire,
Nabiki, not some sweet alien girl like Azusa. But...at the same time, I have
Azusa to thank for freezing me as an adult. It feels wonderful to think and
act like I really am, not like what was forced on me."

"If we reject them, we break their hearts," Nabiki sighs. "And I've
heard what happens when a Sagussan goes nuts over a heartbreak. Shinobu heard
a rumour about Priss, the coxswain of Pathfinder Troop Six. When her lover
Sugoi was badly hurt, she went ballistic...then butchered everyone related to
those who hurt her. Shit, I don't want Kodachi to do the same thing!"

Suddenly, a noise is heard. Panting. Someone is struggling for breath
nearby. They turn to see Ranma-chan stagger up. "Ranma!!" Hinako gasps.
"Are you alright?"

"Oh, Lyna, they're impossible!" the watchmistress struggles for oxygen.
"Just managed to ditch them! Shit, where'd the rest of that marathon come
from?!"

"That's normal here," Nabiki admits, sighing forlornly.

Ranma-chan blinks, then stares quizzically at the two Terrans, sensing
the emotional upheavals they have endured. "Uh-oh. Something tells me that
you two're a little bit confused about Kodachi and Azusa, eh?"

Both blink, then nod. "You might say that," Hinako admits.

"Well, that's understandable," the Sagussan stretches herself. "I mean,
I am grateful that Kodachi is after someone else; she's as bad as Ukyou and
Shampoo at times. But I am sympathetic to your problem. Neither of you are
Sagussan, so you really can't comprehend what drives us."

At that moment, Ranma walks up, now drenched and female. Behind her is
Akane and Akane-chan. "Damn!! Where's the old freak from?!" Ranma wrings the
water from her top. "Why can't he learn to mind his own business?"

"Admittedly, he is odd," Akane-chan muses.

"'Odd?!'" Ranma spins on her. "Try perverted!"

"Where're the others?!" Nabiki wonders.

"Off chasing their own things," Akane sighs. "We hope..."

"PIG-TAILED GIRL!!!!!!" a new voice erupts.

Everyone spins around to see Kunou standing there, wide-eyed on seeing
TWO Ranma-chans and TWO Akane Tendous. "Wh-what is this?!!" he exclaims,
grabbing his hair. "Have I now come to see double?!! Has my desire for Akane
Tendou and the virtuous pig-tailed one driven me to see them everywhere I
go?!! Oh, the agony, the agony...!!"

Ranma-chan and Akane-chan exchange knowing looks, then slip over to the
kendoist's side. "Kunou-san, don't fret," the former coos. "We'll be more
than happy to quell the tremors in your heart. Right, Akane?"

"Of course we will, Ranma," the latter smiles. "It's terrible that
someone with such passion as yourself must suffer in silence without a place
to release those passions. Shall we go somewhere, Kunou-san?"

Shuddering at his sudden good luck, Kunou happily escorts the Sagussans
away. "Man, are they blind?!" Ranma wonders. "They actually like that jerk?"

"Makes you wonder, doesn't it?" Akane muses.

Behind them, Nabiki and Hinako stare at the Sagussans, then at their
spirit-kin, then exchange knowing looks...

* * *

"Oh, no, this can't be happening!!" Hitomi gasps as she watches Kunou
head off with Ranma-chan and Akane-chan. Shinobu had told her about once
seeing a double of herself at the close of the Spirit War. Now seeing near-
perfect doubles of Ranma and Akane told her one thing: the Sagussans were
back in town. Undoubtedly looking for Fungi. Fretting, Shinobu's cousin
heads for her home. She had to contact someone to ensure that no harm would
befall her boyfriend.

Unseen by her, an observer notes the Sagussans' presence, then heads
off. Other powers had to be notified of this...

* * *

To be continued...

Urusei Yatsura - Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring" Part 3
by Fred Herriot
450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada
go...@timebomb.on.ca
**** **** ****
Edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
A side story based on the fanfic series "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year," in
turn based on "Urusei Yatsura" created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

IN THE SECOND PART OF "FURINKAN SPRING," after the Sagussans meet their
spirit-kin and friends, information about the missing Niphentaxian spy is
relayed. However, Fungi is now in love with Hitomi Miyaki, who is determined
to keep him safe. As outside elements, including the financier Takanaba,
begin to converge on Nerima, the Sagussans are drawn into the intricate web of
relationships, dreams and beliefs ruling this district...

**** **** ****

And after all that...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

**** **** ****

"What happened in Nerima was inexcusable!" Baron Suzuki growls, gazing
at his rock garden. "It should have been a simple extraction. Now the
Sagussans are aware of us and are conspiring with the United Nations to
destroy our plans. We must act swiftly if we are to regain control of the
situation."

"It is useless to continue with old ideas," Takanaba sighs. The
financier had come to Suzuki's residence after the phone call. "The Sagussans
may be a naive group of women, but they aren't stupid. Their high-browed
morals have infected the Secretary-General and the world's leadership. More
so now with the growing threat from Uru's Imperialists. A treaty between
Earth and Sagussa is coming, and coming soon. But you rest assured that the
treaty will prevent any exchange of technology. Their Non-Interference
Directive and all that..." he makes a dismissive wave.

The militarist shudders, working at maintaining calm. It was hard. The
lovely Lady Katana slain, her body mysteriously vanished from the Tendou dojo.
Her younger self now missing, kidnapped by a barbaric alien dictator, who left
a thermonuclear bomb in Tokyo in hopes of ensuring the alien bounty hunter-
roonin Nassur would do his bidding. The Sagussans are aware of the Suzuki-
Takanaba plot. Nothing seemed to make sense now. "You and I came together
despite our different goals," the baron sighs. "Now, neither of us can pursue
them because of one group of people. Our next act, therefore, must discredit
the Sagussans."

"How do we do that?" Takanaba wonders. "After Oshio, the Tripwire thing
and who knows what else, the Sagussans can do no wrong."

"Not so, Takanaba-san," Suzuki smiles. "My agents in Nerima have
reported that an orphaned Niphentaxian observer is still operating there. And
now, a group of Sagussan agents are in that district. Opportunity has come
back to us, if we can just take it."

The financier blinks, then icily smiles. "Please, go on..."

* * *

Satoshi Yoshikazu steps into the small apartment, two bags of groceries
in hand. "Hey, guys!" he calls out. "I'm back!"

"About time!" Atsushi Tsuruga yells from the kitchen. "Did you get the
stuff?"

"Yeah!" Satoshi sighs. "Where's Masayuki?"

"With those three," Atsushi sighs, nodding to the spare bedroom. "Who
knows what he could be doing?"

Satoshi moans. It had been a crazy two weeks. First, the Chem Club
encountered their dream goddess, Shinobu Miyaki. Then, it was discovered that
the members were the masters of the "Shrine of Kali-Shinobu." The closing
down of their base at Furinkan High, forced them to relocate to this private
apartment in the east end of Nerima. The scorn heaped on them by their
parents and friends over their private lusts. The hesitant reopening of the
"Shrine" on a new, less scrupulous server.

And then...they came.

Satoshi heads into the bedroom. On a futon to one side slept a middle-
aged brown-haired woman, physically well toned. Even asleep, she projected a
reserved, dignified demeanor. Another futon across the way held another woman
with long, shocking white hair and eyes which seemed older than time. A third
in the middle held a third woman, tantalizingly young and sensual in ways
Satoshi found impossible to describe, pale skinned, almost like a living
porcelain doll.

And all of them...once called themselves Shinobu Miyaki.

Sitting beside the doll was the club's current leader, Masayuki Takuma,
who gently strokes her hair, a storm of conflicting emotions flashing from his
eyes. While they all worked creating Kali's shrine, Masaki Taga was the heart
and soul of the group. They had once even been tempted to call themselves
"Shinobu's Bodyguards" before Masaki's twisted lusts snared the others into
helping him create Kali's shrine. Now, sans leader and with their peers aware
of their actions, the high school graduates felt lost. Having these versions
of Shinobu drop into their lives just complicated matters.

After Masaki's passing, the three had met to take stock of their lives
and decide on a new path. Resurrecting Kali's shrine was easy; all of them
had backup diskettes of photos and stories, plus access to local Internet
servers who did not care about what people put on the World Wide Web.
However, without Masaki, the others soon realized the heart of the
organization was gone. Yes, they still lusted after Shinobu...but their
leader's death and their exposure had thrown ice water on their libidos.

Then they came.

It was the night of the repeating blackout. As the three waited for
power to return, they heard a knock downstairs. Atsushi answered it...to
confront a Shinobu dressed in fantastic armour with a brutal cut across her
midsection. In fact, the cut went all around her, as if she had been sliced
in half. Before Atsushi could say anything, she collapsed into his arms.
Naturally, he dragged her upstairs, stripped her of that weird armour and
administered first aid. Five minutes later, Satoshi answered the door. There
stood the white-haired Shinobu dressed in trenchcoat and well-worn clothes, a
dark spot on her chest and back akin to a gunshot wound. Five minutes after,
Masayuki greeted the doll, dressed in seductively cut black leather, hideously
burned almost beyond recognition.

As the three were stored in the spare bedroom, their wounds began to
heal. The three boys debated what to do...when a strange voice told them
these women were in fact versions of Shinobu of the far future, having
returned in time to ensure their younger self would evolve in the direction
they represented. Then, by means no one understood, they were shown what
futures these three represented.

Atsushi's Shinobu called herself Lady Katana. She came from a timeline
where Japanese militarists had taken power, using alien technology to conquer
the world, then subverting all Western-based social and cultural mores in
hopes of restoring the Japan of the Tokugawas.

Satoshi's Shinobu called herself Scalphunter. Crown princess of an
alien principality called Kyotos, she was a blood-thirsty killer, bent on a
revenge-quest against non-Terrans, especially Oni-Urusians, after losing her
twins thanks to Lum and her Sagussan lover Noa.

Masayuki's Shinobu called herself Kali. The direct descendant of the
Chem Club's perverted fantasies united with Niphentaxian influences, she was
an immortal energy vampire, a lust-driven engine of destruction who looked on
the galaxy as her private playground.

The strange voice then said it was a fragment of a fourth Shinobu called
Mecha, a symbiotic composed of nanites who had returned in time to prevent her
younger self from becoming her. Separated from the whole when Mecha chose to
self-terminate, the nanites busied themselves rebuilding and reprogramming the
others, ensuring they would never again plague humanity. Something about the
bio-energy the others produced had interfered with the nanites' original
programming, which demanded they destroy these three once and for all.

The Chem Club were caught in a soul-searching quandary over their new
guests. Hearing about those nightmarish futures changed their perceptions.
They were drifting toward shutting down Kali's shrine, having only rebuilt it
out of a fading sense of loyalty to Masaki Taga. At present, they were
preparing for university. Now they had these three to worry about. They
could not just abandon them.

"Atsushi-kun, c'mon over!" Satoshi calls out. "Let's talk!"

His words awaken the three sleeping women. "Satoshi-san," Scalphunter
smiles, slowly rising, arm out to embrace him as he sits beside her.

"Masayuki-chan, why don't you do something more with me?" Kali then
stares at the man beside her, sitting up.

Atsushi walks in, sitting beside Katana, who allowed him to draw her
into an embrace. "Guys," Masayuki begins. "Two weeks ago, we really weren't
doing much with ourselves. We allowed our dreams and fantasies to create
something we thought was cool...at the time. However, after what we just
experienced, I think it's time we put aside the past and move to something
constructive. We have a responsibility to ourselves...but more importantly,
we have a responsibility to Shinobu Miyaki. I say we shut down the Shrine
right now and get rid of everything associated with it."

"I agree," Satoshi nods.

"So do I," Atsushi sighs. "Now...what do we do with them?" he nods at
their guests. "Shit knows, people around here don't look too kindly at
Shinobu Miyaki. We're part of the reason why. Seeing three versions of her
running around isn't going to do us any good, especially if word's out about
what they came to do."

"True," Masayuki sadly nods. Of course, they were all pleased that Fate
handed them a Shinobu Miyaki to be his personal companion. But lusting for
someone was worlds different than actually having her.

"May we propose something?"

The voice echoes from thin air. "Mecha!" Satoshi blinks.

"Affirmative," that voice responds. "We have already configured our
counterparts' neural pathways to ensure all Entropic thoughts they possessed
are eliminated. We could restructure them physically to prevent any suspicion
that they are in fact variations of our younger self, thus reducing the chance
of outside attention falling on you."

The three hum. "Well, that seems a good idea," Atsushi muses. "Let's
see what we can do."

"Hold it!" Satoshi cuts in. "First, we shut the Shrine down. Then
we'll worry about what we do with our friends."

The others nod...

* * *

"What's this?!" Fungi blinks.

The Niphentaxian watches a message flash on his screen. Someone was
shutting down the Shrine of Kali-Shinobu, for good it seemed. The message
stated that the operators would not bring the shrine back, though no reason is
given. Fungi then programs a cyber-mouse, a special hunter-killer program
which could travel through the Internet to examine another computer's files,
then sends it off. A reply comes a minute later. Not only was the Shrine
gone, but all files pertaining to it had been erased from the host computer.

Silence falls over the room as Fungi considers what to do next. He
could send a modified cyber-mouse to locate the computer in question so he
investigate on-site. Whoever had constructed the Shrine might just be
relocating, using the message they transmitted to deceive Net surfers and
local censorship officers as to their true intentions. If so, he had to
prevent it from coming back on line.

His friends would not rest until he did...

* * *

"Hey, it's gone!" Nene blinks confusedly.

"What is?" Priss looks back.

"The Kali-Shinobu Shrine," Pathfinder Troop Six's computer expert
reports. "Just deleted itself from the Net. Message here says they won't
bring it back."

"Doubtful!" the coxswain snorts in disbelief. "They're probably hooking
up to a new server. Hey, Nene, trace down where they are!"

"Right," Nene's fingers fly over the board.

Priss sighs, then stares at the women before her. "Sorry about that.
We're cleaning up the mess created by those perverts in Nerima. What can I do
for you two?"

Nabiki and Hinako exchange looks, then face the Sagussan. "Well, Priss-
san...since your friends came to Nerima, Kodachi and Azusa have taken interest
...in us!" the former begins.

"Whoa!" Priss whistles. "You mean Kodachi actually had eyes for someone
other than Ranma? Impossible!"

"Well, it's not just impossible, it's happening!" Hinako cuts in. "But
...while Nabiki and I're flattered, we can't commence serious relationships.
So...we were wondering if you could find..." she pauses.

"Doubles of us!" Nabiki completes.

"Ah!!" Priss nods understandingly. "Hey, that's cool! Not everyone's
fit to make the migration to Sagussa. Well, then..." she pulls out a mini-
camera and makes two snapsnots of the Terrans. "Once Nene finishes with the
Kali thing, we'll send a signal back home for your spirit-sisters, if you have
them. Fair enough?"

"Thank you!" both beam.

"What the...?!" Nene's voice interrupts.

"What is it?" Priss stares at the Troop's hacker.

"Someone else is checking this place out," Nene reports. "Using a very
sophisticated cyber-mouse tracker, way too complicated for Terran systems. I
think I just might've found our missing Niphentaxian."

"Great!!" Priss smiles. "As soon as you know where he lives, relay the
location to Ranma!"

"Gotcha!!"

* * *

"Could this actually work?" Takanaba wonders.

Suzuki icily smiles. "The Niphentaxians are all low-born, worthless
dregs who will be excellent slaves in our plans. One of my observers in
Nerima has located a survivor of the group once located there, the one that
supported that abomination of Shinobu-san calling itself Kali. According to
them, it seems this fellow, Fungi, has decided to turn from his masters, seek
a life here on Earth. He even has a native lover, Shinobu-san's cousin Hitomi
Miyaki. Now, we know how fanatic the Niphentaxians are in their worship of
Lum. It takes just a veiled threat against Lum to set them into action."

"How do you propose to do that?"

"Fortunately, this Vosian dictator, the Mikado, handed us the perfect
opportunity. We shall let it be known to other Niphentaxian groups in the
Tokyo area that Fungi helped the Vosians kidnap the Oni in hopes of slaying
her, thus vaulting Shinobu-san to supremacy in their religion. You know what
will happen next."

"They'll come to Nerima," Takanaba nods appreciatively. "So hell bent
on avenging their 'goddess,' they'll probably tear the district apart looking
for Fungi. And when they do..."

"The Sagussans come to the 'rescue!'" Suzuki smiles. "And given the
enmity between the two races, Armageddon will result. I don't think many
people will cherish the idea of aliens operating outside Tomobiki, in direct
defiance of Resolution 444."

"Negative propaganda would then be inserted in the media...and once that
happens, public opinion would turn against them," Takanaba concludes. "And
with that, the public would pressure the government to demand that the United
Nations force the Sagussans to mollify their demands. Perhaps insist on
technological transfer..."

"Further, we could recoup our losses by seizing technology during the
upcoming battle," Suzuki adds. "You see, we let them do all the work and pick
up the pieces at the end."

"Brilliant!" the financier smiles. "Now, how soon..."

"Forgive me, sirs," an aide walks up, bowing to the baron and his guest.
"Mr. Lee is back."

Suzuki and Takanaba are surprised. "Send him in," the former orders.

A moment later, a very pale man appears. "My sincerest apologies for
not contacting you in such a long time," he bows to his employers. "While my
relative was recovering, I heard of the tragic affair in Nerima. I believe it
prudent to hold our counsel until such time as the Sagussans are distracted by
other problems before re-initiating contact."

"Very prudent, Mr. Lee. I trust your relative has recovered," Suzuki
smiles, returning the bow. Again, he found it hard to look the visitor in the
eye. "In fact, you're just in time. Takanaba-san and I were discussing a
possible future operation against those same Sagussans."

"I see," Lee nods. "Then how may I be of assistance?"

* * *

An hour later, a dark limousine with tinted windows carries Mr. Lee from
the Suzuki estate. Relaxing in the back seat, the pale man sighs, then
deactivates his holographic projector bracelet, revealing Reinoevan. "How was
the meeting, Miss Rei?" Denpatan Kitei wonders from the front seat.

"It seems the good baron and Takanaba-san have not learned their
lesson," Pathfinder Troop Six's first officer frowns. Since Noa had been
dispatched to watch over Ataru and Lum, the Troop, either Nene or Rei, had
taken over playing Mr. Lee. "We'll have to bring Nagaiwakai-sama into this.
She possesses the necessary political clout to stop them. In the meantime,
Ranma and the others'll have to be appraised of their new plans. Take me to
Tomobiki so we can switch cars, then to Nerima."

"Hai," the Kuromoroboshi steers the car toward Tokyo...

* * *

"We found him!!" Ranma-chan excitedly tells Akane-chan.

The latter is grooming P-chan with her spirit-sister on the front porch
of the Tendou house. "Who?!"

"The spy," the former triumphantly smiles. "His name's Fungi. He's
part of the crowd who backed up Kali. He's living in a restaurant in the
middle of the district! Wanna go scout it out?!"

"Good!" Akane-chan bolts to her feet. "This'll be settled in a snap."

"Why don't you two go as Ranma and I?" Akane wonders. "Walking around
in such plain clothes'll attract attention just as quick as you guys wearing
your uniforms."

"Good point," Ranma-chan nods. "Let's go!"

* * *

"So, they're there!" Fungi smiles.

His second cyber-mouse had detected the address where the members of the
Furinkan High Chemical Club, Kali's creators, are hiding. It is a small
apartment in Nerima's east end. Not too far away. Perhaps he should go now,
scout the terrain, then plan for an insertion. Rising, the Niphentaxian pulls
out a baseball cap and a Walkman to disguise his ears, then moves to the door.
He opens it, then stops, seeing Hitomi there. "Hitomi-chan!!" he gasps.
"What are you doing here?!"

"Stay inside!" she pushes him back in. "Are you stupid?! The Sagussans
are here looking for you!"

"What?!" he jolts. "Why would they look for me?!"

"Idiot!!" she snaps. "Don't you remember what your people almost did to
my cousin on Phentax Twelve?! The attempted invasion three months ago?! The
Sagussans have more than enough reasons to hate you! I'm not sure if I can
persuade them to leave you alone!! Running around like that's going to get
you killed!"

"I found where the shrine's operators are!" Fungi reports.

"Where?!"

Fungi scribbles an address, then hands the paper to Hitomi. "Right
there. It's a small, out of the way apartment. I need to look at this place,
find out what's going on. Now, they just deleted themselves from the Net,
saying they aren't coming back...but we can't know that until everything
involved with that abomination is gone."

Hitomi stares at the address, recognition dawning. "Wait, I know who
lives here!" she exclaims. "I know these guys. They aren't so bad..."

"Hitomi-chan, they teamed up with Masaki Taga to create Kali, remember?"
Fungi reminds her. "What you might think they're like is what they want you
to think of them. We have to make sure. This isn't just for me and my
friends, it's for everyone who has any connection to Shinobu-san. And you're
pretty high up on the list."

Silence falls as Hitomi considers the point, then nods. "Okay. Let's
go...but don't do anything crazy, okay?!"

"Okay," he nods.

The two head out...

* * *

"This information you give us...can it actually be true?" Odao wonders.

Like his companions, the Niphentaxian agent from Shinjiku suspiciously
eyes Baron Suzuki and Takanaba. "It is," the baron nods. "We know how much
your people revere Lum. In the interests of fostering peaceful relations
between our peoples, we are present you with the truth. The way the team
looked on Shinobu Miyaki, worshipped her, disgusted me as I'm sure it would
disgust your superiors. Most of them are dead, eliminated by my agents. One
still lives." With that, he passes a file folder to Odao.

The Niphentaxian frowns on seeing Fungi's picture. "I know this one,"
he sneers. "Fungi pretends to be loyal to the Goddess, while in truth, he
spits on Her Holy Teachings. He would rather withdraw from the Church, seek
out a path of heresy which could destroy us if it infected others." He then
glares at Suzuki. "But what is your interest in this?"

"Truthfully, I despise the presence of all aliens on Earth," Suzuki
fixes Odao with an icy stare. "You people believe yourselves superior to us
just because you entered space long before we had the chance to explore our
moon. Further, you seek to manipulate us in directions which could bring
disaster and destruction to us, all to serve one person. One whom, I should
add, is actively targeted by the Urusian Imperialists in hopes of making her
their slave Empress. Place yourselves in our position, Odao-san. How would
you feel if the Sagussans decided they had enough of your venerating their
leader's fiancee, then tried to destroy you?"

Odao's eyes flash. "Those harpies!" he spits out. "They've interfered
with us for the final time!!"

"We have heard a rumour from one of our agents," Takanaba adds. "He has
connections penetrating deep into the Moroboshi Clan, all the way to the Lady
Nagaiwakai. He heard expatriates from your planet have forged an alliance
with Uru's Democratic Alliance and the Avalonians in hopes of seeing your
church destroyed. While we have no confirmation of this, it can be surmised
the Sagussans actively support such a plan, seeing them as natural allies in
their quest to destroy the Church of Lum and cripple the Niphentaxian Union...
a prequel, I suppose, to their destroying the Urusian Imperialists and fixing
Lum on Sagussa's throne as Ataru Moroboshi's consort."

The Niphentaxians gasp. "Is this information valid?!" Odao growls.

"As valid as we can confirm," Suzuki sighs, grateful that Mr. Lee passed
on that tidbit. "As of now, six Sagussan agents are active in Nerima. We've
yet to detect who they are. However, Fungi can seek them out, request asylum,
then turn over whatever information he has about your operations in Tokyo to
the Sagussans. Once they have it, all of you will then be in severe danger."

"Indeed," Odao nods, standing. "Thank you for your information, Baron
Suzuki, Takanaba-san. We shall be more than willing to act on this. If we
are successful, we might find it in our hearts to repay you for your
generosity. If you'll excuse us..."

"Certainly," Suzuki nods as the Niphentaxians depart. Once the aliens
were gone, he faces his ally. "Now, we wait."

"We should tell Mr. Lee first," Takanaba warns. "With his connections
deep into the Moroboshi Clan, we could use him to...fan the flames?"

Suzuki nods...

* * *

"I am pleased the matter was resolved so quickly," Mr. Lee smiles. "The
Niphentaxians are a boorish lot, my lord. The Sagussans shan't find them too
much trouble. As for others, well..." he chuckles. "In the meantime, I have
other matters requiring my attention. I will contact you if something further
happens. Good day, sir."

Hanging up, "he" quickly transforms back into Reinoevan. "Wonderful,"
Nagaiwakai Moroboshi muses, relaxing at Reigi Yumoa's desk in Tomobiki. Rei,
Reigi and the Moroboshi Clan matriarch had gathered to hear what the first
officer had discovered while under cover. "I know Yuusuke Suzuki. His father
died while he was a prisoner of the Americans after the war. As for Torizo
Takanaba, he's a piranha. He's always been after our secrets and the Mendous
in hopes of expanding his personal fortune."

"Which presents us difficulty since both possess considerable political
influence to press for things which won't benefit Earth in the long run," Rei
sighs. "Suzuki wants a return to Tokugawa days, subvert the rest of Earth to
Japan's leadership, then conquer local space, without a care for what awaits
him out there. Vengeance for the Americans' victory in 1945, more or less.
Takanaba has no morals outside of making money for himself, uncaring of the
social impact introducing alien technology could unleash without the proper
safeguards. We...believe they were behind two of the future versions of
Shinobu who came sometime ago, Mecha and Lady Katana."

"But they've been eliminated, along with the others," Reigi cuts in.
"Shinobu took care of the problem herself before returning to Tomobiki."

"True, although the bodies of three of them disappeared during that
night," Rei sighs. "Nagaiwakai-sama, we have no experience dealing with
Terran threats. The American vice-president and your own prime minister told
Ataru that some time ago. We can stop the Niphentaxians without too much
damage; it all depends on them. But if Suzuki and Takanaba escape this
unscathed, they can come back anytime in the future to plague us anew."

"Then it's time they're embarrassed enough to rethink their priorities,"
Nagaiwakai stands, walking to the window to gaze at the cityscape beyond the
Toranoseishin Finances tower.

Dealing with alien threats was easy. Sagussa and Zephyrus were almost
always around to keep matters under control. Nagaiwakai had been horrified to
learn of the Mikado's recent actions. She was tempted to call the Holy Father
and press for a revoking of the treaty between the Republic and the Vosian
Confederation. With that gone, a ship could be dispatched to rescue Ataru and
his friends, then the Inquisition would punish the Mikado agents involved.
However, shortly after, Sylia told her that Noa was going out to watch over
matters, agreeing to Nassur's request to back off until Ataru and the others
were safe. Nagaiwakai did not like it but she would cooperate since it was
Nassur who had asked them, promising them a chance to get even with the Mikado
when everyone was safe.

But now, other problems loomed. The United Nations had decided to make
a treaty with the one galactic power the others could not bully. Nagaiwakai
was proud of Ataru; her grandson would soon become the king of a planet. One
which, to Nagaiwakai's delight, had no concept like marriage. A slap in Lum's
face, perfect vengeance for all the trouble the Oni had caused her Darling.
However, to ensure that the Earth-Sagussa treaty would work, those who would
manipulate matters against the Sagussans had to be done away with. Staring
with Suzuki and Takanaba.

Nagaiwakai and Reigi exchange looks. "I think there's a way we could do
this," the former sighs. "Reigi-chan, do you have any idea the value of the
stocks in Takanaba's company?"

"They're running a little low right now," Reigi calls up the information
on his computer. "Many shareholders are losing interest in him. While he's
been good at keeping secrets, rumours about his underhanded dealings with
aliens have started to circulate."

Rei smiles; Noa...or rather, Mr. Lee...had been the cause of those
rumours, setting them into motion just before leaving Earth to support Nassur.
"How much?" Nagaiwakai wonders.

"Say...ten billion for a seventy-percent share of all stocks on the
Nikkei?" Reigi runs a quick calculation. "That would make us undisputed."

"Not us directly," Nagaiwakai cuts in at that time. "I'll float some
money over, say half. Rei, would your people provide the rest?"

"Well, we could explain back home this as laying the groundwork for the
treaty," the first officer muses. "Taking out a threat before it becomes too
dangerous. We'll inform Angus McTavish of this at least. He'll want to know
...and I'm sure he'll stay silent on the matter, until it's too late for Mr.
Takanaba, that is. As for Baron Suzuki, we'll have to be a little more open
in dealing with him. His organization is actually quite fragile, easily
shattered if the right media coverage is shone on his friends."

"Excellent," Nagaiwakai nods. "I can handle that end. Reigi-kun, I
want the name of that young speculator, the real hot one you told me about
sometime back. What's her name again...?"

Reigi smiles. "Nabiki Tendou."

* * *

"Here it is," Hitomi sighs.

The apartment shared by the former Chem Club members is located in a
back alley some distance from downtown. A single door led onto a small cul-
de-sac, a row of flowers protecting the windows from outside viewers. Pulling
out his scanner, Fungi sweeps the site. "A living room, kitchen, two large
bedrooms, bathroom," he stares at the readings. "Six lifeforms inside, all
Terran, three males, three females. One computer with modem."

"Okay, we've looked it over," Hitomi stares at her boyfriend. "Can we
get out of here now?"

"No," he sighs. "We have to confront them, tell them the truth about
what they're doing. If we can stop them, all the better for us."

"Fungi-kun...!"

"Hitomi-chan," he gently embraces her. "We have to do this. I want to
do it now rather than later."

Silence for a moment, then Hitomi nods. With that, she proceeds to the
front door, delivering a sharp knock. The Niphentaxian walks out of sight,
lowering his cap to better disguise himself. A moment later, the door opens,
revealing Satoshi. "Yes, can I help...Hitomi?! What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Satoshi!" she smiles. "Can I come in?"

"Ah...just a minute," he slips inside.

Hitomi waits for a moment, then Satoshi waves her inside. Stepping into
the living room, she notices that Atsushi and Masayuki are sitting by the
computer. "Hi, Hitomi," the latter smiles, bowing to her. "Here, make
yourself comfortable. We're glad you're here."

Hitomi is surprised at their friendly candor. "You're not going to ask
me to pose for your stupid webpage, are you?"

"No," Masayuki sighs. "First of all, I'd like to apologize for the
trouble we caused your cousin. We...contributed to the Kali Shrine, but we
didn't come up with the idea. Much that I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, it
was Masaki who started the whole thing. We tagged along for the ride. When
he died, we finally found it in ourselves to let go of that nonsense. So...
we'd like you to witness something."

"What?" Hitomi blinks.

Atsushi walks over to pick up a small garbage can full of computer
diskettes mixed with old newsprint. "All of these are our diskettes holding
the pictures, texts and everything concerning the Kali Shrine," he shows it to
Hitomi, then taking it outside, pulls out a box of matches.

A second later, the diskettes burn in the can. The four Furinkan High
students watch this. "Now, the Kali Shrine is gone," Masayuki sighs. "Once
and for all time."

Hitomi blinks. There seemed no regret in their eyes, no secret desire
to hide some last remnants of the filth they let loose on the Internet. True
repentance. "Wait right here," she interrupts, then calls out. "Fungi-kun.
Come see this!"

The three notice a tall young man approach. "What?" he wonders.

"Look," Hitomi points. "Your friends can rest now."

Fungi stares at the melting diskettes. "All of them?"

"All of them," Hitomi nods.

The Chem Club members notice the newcomer's ears. "Holy shit, he's an
alien!!" Satoshi gasps, pointing at Fungi.

"That's right," the Niphentaxian stares evenly at them. "Thanks to you
plus certain traits my race possesses in abundance, my friends are dead thanks
to a monster..."

"Kali," Masayuki cuts in.

Silence. "You know?" Hitomi blinks.

"About Kali, Scalphunter, Lady Katana and Mecha," Atsushi nods. "All
four of them, Hitomi-san. The first three came back in time to change your
cousin's destiny, alter it to better suit their tastes. Kali, the sex-
vampire. Scalphunter, the killer. Katana, the samurai. On the other hand,
Mecha came back to prevent Shinobu-san from becoming her. And because of
that, a lot of people suffered, including Masaki and his dad. Kali killed
Masaki, sucked his life right out of him. His dad was killed by Katana when
she tried to move on Shinobu."

Fungi and Hitomi stare at the other as they head back inside. "How do
you know all this?!" the latter demands. "No one's said anything, least of
all to you guys!"

"Let's just say the evidence dropped in on us two weeks ago," Masayuki
sighs. "You better prepare yourselves. Girls, come on out!"

The two spin around to see three women walk into the living room. "Oh,
no...!!" Fungi pales on recognizing one. "You!!!"

His hand snaps to his hidden pistol, but Hitomi slaps him down. "Put it
down, Fungi-kun!" she snaps. "They wouldn't bring them out just like that!
You want to bring in the neighbours AND the Sagussans?!"

Fungi shudders, then glares at Kali. "It's them, alright," Masayuki
sighs. "Right after their fights with Shinobu, nanites inserted by Mecha
during and after began to reconstruct their bodies and minds. They have
little trace of their old personalities left in them, although they do
remember a lot of what they went through to bring them here. Mecha made them
come to us, believing that if they were hidden away, those who were backing
them up couldn't use them again. And...they've been here ever since."

"Wow!!" Hitomi walks up to examine them. "Wait a moment! Katana and
Scalphunter were old women! These two look exactly like Shinobu-chan..."

"We were modified to better reflect our present relationships, Hitomi-
chan," Katana explains, smiling. "Further, rejecting our previous lives, we
no longer use those monikers by which you now know us. I am now Jijo Miyaki,"
she grasps Atsushi's hand.

"I am now Aijin Miyaki," Kali embraces Masayuki.

"And I'm Joshu Miyaki," Scalphunter smiles at Satoshi.

Fungi and Hitomi exchange unsure looks. "I wish...we could believe
you," the latter sighs. "But after what you three nearly did to Shinobu-chan,
I'm not sure how to take you."

"Oh, sweet cousin, believe us, please!" Aijin grasps Hitomi's hand.
"Once those awful thoughts were taken away from us, we reverted back to the
way we always were! Can't you trust us?"

"I..." Hitomi blinks.

"The only way to persuade our cousin of our intentions is to ask a
Sagussan to mind-scan us," Joshu stares at Jijo.

"Agreed," the latter nods.

"In fact..." Joshu blinks as a strange feeling touches her heart. "I
think they're here."

The door flies open, revealing Ranma-chan and Akane-chan, both armed to
the hilt and ready for business. "Well, well, well!!" the former licks her
lips in anticipation. "It seems that fortune DOES smile on those who wait!"

* * *

To be concluded...

Urusei Yatsura - Tales of the Daishi'cha: "Furinkan Spring" Part 4
by Fred Herriot
450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada
go...@timebomb.on.ca
**** **** ****
Edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
A side story based on the fanfic series "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year," in
turn based on "Urusei Yatsura" created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

IN THE THIRD PART OF "FURINKAN SPRING," Takanaba teams with Baron Suzuki to
trouble the Sagussans by instigating a battle between them and the
Niphentaxians. They are compromised by Mr. Lee (Reinoevan in disguise),
instigating a multi-level counterattack from Nagaiwakai and the Sagussans.
The Shrine of Kali-Shinobu is shut down by Masaki Taga's friends. They have
developed a caring for the reborn and rehabilitated Kali, Lady Katana and
Scalphunter (now known as Aijin, Jijo and Joshu Miyaki). Fungi and Hitomi
trace them down, but then are caught by Ranma-chan and Akane-chan...

**** **** ****

And finally...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

**** **** ****

"Well, well, well," Ranma-chan sneers, levelling an Urban Assault Cannon
on Fungi. "Didn't take us too long to locate you. Now, are there any more of
you running around, pal?!"

"Wait!!" Hitomi leaps into the line of fire. "Fungi-kun isn't evil! He
only wants to live here in peace!! Put the gun down!!"

"Are you blind or something?!" Ranma growls. "Have you any idea what
his lot are capable of doing?!"

"I know all that!!" Hitomi snarls. "Put the gun down!! He's not one of
them!!!"

The two face off, then Akane-chan cuts in. "Wait, Ranma," she sighs,
then holds out her hand. "Your weapon, please."

Fungi calmly places his pistol into the Sagussan's hand. Ranma stares
surprisedly at her would-be bond-mate. "I think he's okay," Akane sighs, then
glares at her partner. "Put it down, Ranma. Now!"

A exasperated grunt explodes from her lips as Ranma lowers her Cannon.
"Now," Akane glares at Shinobu's future-selves. "Care to explain where they
come from? By all rights, they should be dead."

The members of the Chem Club hastily explain what happened to Aijin,
Jijo and Joshu after their defeat by Shinobu. Mecha's disembodied voice cuts
in to augment some points. "Once their potential development were halted,
they were cut off from their home timelines," Masayuki concludes. "They have
no home to go to, but they still possess some of their powers as Lady Katana,
Kali and Scalphunter. What were we supposed to do? Leave them on the street
for some thug to capture them?"

"What I think is this: You three were just pleased to get variations of
your 'goddess' for your own pleasure," Akane's eyes narrow at the now
perspiring Terran lads. "But if they're serious about staying with you,
that's their concern as long as they behave themselves. As for you," she
turns to Fungi, "...since you're in love with Shinobu's cousin, we could
declare that you've defected from Phentax Two to Earth. What the Terran
authorities decide to do with you is their business. We'll still report you
to the U.N."

"I've no problem with that," Fungi sighs. "I doubt the other groups
observing Tomobiki know I'm alive. All I care about is living my own life
outside the Church of Lum and being with Hitomi-chan."

That comment causes Hitomi to blush. "Fair enough," Akane nods. "Well,
I think this mission's all but over. Wouldn't you say so, Ranma?"

The other Sagussan looks depressed. "I didn't get to kill someone or
blow something up!" she whines. "Some mission!"

The others faint! Akane groans...

* * *

A knock is heard at Nabiki's door. "Come in," she looks up from her
computer, taking off her glasses.

Kodachi-chan looks inside. "Can we talk?"

"C'mon in!" Nabiki rubs her eyes. "I need a break from all these stock
pictures. What is it, Kodachi?"

"Nabiki-chan," the Sagussan coyly smiles. "Why did you and Hinako-chan
go to see Pathfinder Troop Six today?" She then pouts. "If you wanted to
talk to a Sagussan, you could've come see me, you know."

Nabiki sighs. She knew that Sagussans valued honesty above all, so it
was time for the truth, no matter how much it hurt. "Kodachi...I have guessed
that you find me attractive. Hinako-sensei guesses the same thing from Azusa.
But...neither of us can imagine starting relationships with either of you.
Hell, until two months ago, I never thought I'd meet aliens. Personally, I
wouldn't mind it if I never saw an alien again after you. I can't give you
what you want, Kodachi."

The watchmistress blinks. "I see," she looks down.

"I'm flattered by your interest," Nabiki stands, steadying Kodachi. "I
am. Believe me, after all the crazy plots and back-handed plans I've been
involved with, being honest with someone is quite refreshing. But my first
responsibility is to my family. I'm the only one able to keep this place
financially solvent. I can't leave them here, especially with the Saotomes
boarding here, plus all the damage that is inflicted on this place. Unlike
the Moroboshis or the Mendous, my family doesn't have a ready cash reserve for
repairing the holes that appear when someone flies off the handle. I have to
make money, any way possible...and it's darn near a full-time job."

Kodachi sighs. "Pity," she weakly smiles. "I had hoped you'd be
willing to take a chance."

"I can understand that," Nabiki nods. "You're facing the dawn of your
society. You can afford to dream; in fact, dreams are necessary to get your
people off the ground. I...haven't been so blessed. But it doesn't mean I'm
letting you off the hook, Watchmistress."

"Eh?!" Kodachi blinks, then tenses as someone enters the room.

"It's okay, spirit-sister," a familiar woman's voice comes from behind
the watchmistress' ears. "I can take over from here."

Kodachi spins around to see a Seishin-Urusian version of Nabiki in a
child services uniform, the number 77204 on her arms. "I heard there was a
very lonely defence officer looking for some companionship," Nabiki-chan
softly murmurs as she gazes intently into the watchmistress' eyes. "Would
that be you, Kodachi-san?"

Hearts spring into Kodachi's eyes as Nabiki-chan tweaks her psi-shields.
"I'll give you two some privacy," Nabiki smiles as she departs the room.
"Just don't damage the computer."

"Hai!" Nabiki-chan smiles.

Soft intimate noises emanate from behind the closed door. "Another
disaster averted," Nabiki whistles. She see Ranma walk up. "Hey, Ranma-kun,
what's going on? Your spirit-sister return from that job she and Akane-chan
went out to handle?"

"Nah, not yet...but there's some rich woman here to see you," he thumbs
downstairs. "Someone really important by the way your dad's acting."

"Wonder who it is," Nabiki muses as she heads downstairs...

...then stops, eyes widening in shocked disbelief on seeing the Tendous'
guest. "You must be Nabiki," Nagaiwakai Moroboshi smiles. "Can we talk?"

* * *

"You want ME to buy out Takanaba?!!" Nabiki exclaims.

Nagaiwakai nods. The Tendous and the Saotomes stare in disbelief at the
Moroboshi Clan matriarch, astounded that someone of her esteemed personage
would visit them. Outside, several Kuromoroboshi perch in the trees to ensure
no eavesdroppers. Their skill and dedication impress Ranma, who assumed
anything related to Ataru had to be second-rate. "That's right, Nabiki-san,"
Nagaiwakai smiles. "Your skill on the markets and other money-making venues
has attracted the attention of the Minister of Finance. Your economic acumen
has been complimented by Reigi Yumoa, someone I place very high trust in
running my companies."

Nabiki turns a brilliant cherry. She knew Reigi, having dealt with him
occasionally since she first broke into the markets. "I'm pleased Yumoa-san
regards me with such a positive light," she flusters. "I hope I'm up to the
task, ma'am."

"Excellent," Nagaiwakai smiles. "Now, I believe that since Nerima
suffered the worst because of the unpleasantness unleashed by Takanaba,
someone from Nerima should reap the benefits. Of all the people here, you
have the skill necessary to run a company, even at eighteen years of age.
Hence, I'd like to take you under my wing, give you the chance."

"I'll need money," Nabiki warns. "Takanaba's stock may be going down,
but I'll need a lot of money..."

"I think I can help you with that," Nagaiwakai muses.

The matriarch snaps her fingers. Everyone gasps as the Kuromoroboshi
place ten briefcases before Nabiki, opening them to reveal a billion yen in
each, all in 10,000 yen notes. A cash register sounds off in the distance as
Nabiki counts some of the money, bundled in hundred-note wrappings. "Um...how
soon must I pay this back?" she stares at the Moroboshi Clan matriarch,
realizing this was a considerable commitment on Nagaiwakai's part. "What
about interest?"

"My dear, this is the future of Earth we're speaking of," Nagaiwakai
sighs. "Money leeches like Takanaba would bring ruin to millions so long as
he can make his fortune. Loaning money for constructive causes on Sagussa
demands no extra cost. Their loan is interest-free since the elimination of
Takanaba removes one more obstacle to smoothing relations between our planets.
In the interests of equity, I'm prepared to do the same. Payment will not be
set to a standard time since this is a hostile takeover; we can expect
considerable resistance to your movements, especially if Takanaba scents my
involvement. But I am a businessperson, Nabiki, just as you are. I expect
results."

"You'll have them!" Nabiki readily nods, bowing respectfully. "When do
you want me to start?"

"Tomorrow morning when trading begins on the Nikkei," Nagaiwakai nods.
"I expect you to be majority shareholder before two weeks, Nabiki. I've sent
word to the right places so the Finance Ministry won't raise any objections...
before it's too late for Takanaba. The rest is up to you."

"Yes, ma'am!!" Nabiki nods. "I'll call my broker right now! If you'll
excuse me, please!"

With that, she runs out of the room. "Whoa!!" Ranma whistles. "Kinda
depressing if you ask me."

"Why do you say that, Ranma?" Akane wonders.

"Well, I expected something more exciting," Ranma crosses his arms.
"Just talk and talk and talk. Make your phone calls and let others do
counting. Nothing that'd attract my interest."

"Understandable, son," Souun nods. "But be assured, this is Nabiki's
chosen battlefield and she is a master at this game. I wouldn't want to be in
Takanaba's shoes when Nabiki sets her sights on him."

"Well, since that's settled, how about tea and snacks?" Kasumi smiles.
"Lady Nagaiwakai, would you invite your friends in for some?"

"Uh...c-certainly!" Nagaiwakai blinks and then amused by the friendly
offer...

* * *

Later, Ranma-chan and Akane-chan return to the dojo, reporting to their
friends about Fungi. The latter decided (forcefully persuading the former) to
remain silent on Shinobu's reborn future-selves, realizing that regardless of
the Chem Club's personal reasons for welcoming them into their lives, Aijin,
Jijo and Joshu deserve a second chance at a peaceful life. Once a message had
been dispatched to the United Nations so Fungi could be registered as an alien
refugee, the watchmistresses decide to relax.

With matters settled for the time being, Ranma-chan invites Ranma to the
"Hasei'cha," where the watchmistresses kept gear which could be disruptive in
Nerima. For the first time in his life, Ranma Saotome is completely out of
his element as he is transported to the warpsloop, awed by the seemingly
limitless power the Sagussans possessed. "Man, I never thought I'd ever deal
with aliens," he hums, eyes darting everywhere as they headed to her quarters.

"We hoped other races would show a little more responsibility when it
came to dealing with your people," Ranma-chan stares at him. "However, such
has not been the case, so we have to keep collateral damage to a minimum."

"Must be hard work," Ranma muses.

"It is," Ranma-chan nods, looking left to see Priss and Lufy sparring in
the ship's gymnasium. "Hey, Priss, Lufy!"

"Hi, Ranma!!" the former waves, then lunges at her opponent.

Ranma stops, spellbound as the *pirpirsiw'r* savage the other in unarmed
combat, using techniques that would kill a well-trained fighter. Ranma-chan
remains silent as her spirit-brother watches how other races duelled. After a
few minutes, Priss and Lufy call time out, then draw back, neither the victor.
With that, Ranma-chan guides Ranma to her quarters. "Impressed?" she wonders.

"Wow!" he whistles. "Even Cologne and Happousai would've been squashed!
Who were those two?!"

"Priss and Lufy, two former *pirpirsiw'r* from Yehisril," Ranma-chan
smiles, then explains the origins of the Most Dangerous Ones, elaborating on
their duties. "They're the best we have on Sagussa, although there're many
more where they come from. In fact, a lot of people once wondered if I wasn't
a *pirpirsiw'r* myself with the way I fight."

"Little spitfire of destruction, eh?" he chuckles.

"It could be said," she keys the code to her quarters, then steps in.

Ranma looks inside. The quarters were sparse, although Ranma-chan had
tossed stuff helter-skelter when she first moved in. What attracts his eye is
Akane-chan, sitting statue still on the small couch, dressed in a very pretty
kimono, eyes closed. "Hey, what's Akane doing here?!"

"She's not Akane," Ranma-chan smiles, stripping her Terran clothes and
slipping on an off-duty jumpsuit, then kneels beside her. "Wake up."

Akane-chan's eyes open, glow red for a second, then revert to their
normal brown. "Ranma!" she smiles, allowing the watchmistress to lay down on
the couch, head in her lap. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Ranma-chan purrs. "Just a little headache."

"I can cure that," Akane-chan offers, gently stroking her forehead.

Ranma blinks. "Uh...what's with her?"

"This is a companion android double of Akane," Ranma-chan smiles. "Show
him."

The droid lifts her right arm, popping open a circuit hatch for the
Terran's inspection. "Wow!!" he whistles. "Does Akane know you have her?"

"It's really none of her business," Ranma-chan sighs as the droid
returns to her ministrations. "You see, we use the droids as surrogates
whenever we take interest in someone but are unable to date that person. If
you have a secret crush...as I have with Akane...they're perfect."

"But sooner or later, reality has to step in," he muses.

"Yeah," she frowns. "I've had a crush on Akane since my rebirth. It
nearly drove me crazy when I was in command training; she was my tutor. And
yet, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch her interest."

"Why not? You sure as hell make it clear you want her."

"Yeah, I do," she nods. "I've made it also clear that I brook no one
taking interest in her. I...guess I'm cramping her style. But I want her to
notice me. Do you do that with your Akane?"

"I...not really," he chuckles. "Akane's...not what I'd consider perfect
wife material. In fact, she tends to screw up everything she touches. She
tries; that's her best point. But...people tend to suffer whenever she gets
out of hand."

"Yet you care for her."

"Yes...I do! She cares for me. But...we first got shanghaied into this
by our fathers. It...wasn't the most auspicious of beginnings. Even after
all this time, it's been hard for us to..."

"Express yourself?"

"Yeah."

Silence for a moment. "How can I express myself to make Akane notice
me, acknowledge me as a suitor, a potential bond-mate?" Ranma-chan sighs. "I
tell her I love her. I make it clear I don't think of anyone else but her. I
certainly don't put up to Ukyou and Shampoo crawling over me...yet she doesn't
acknowledge my interest in her. Does she like me or doesn't she?"

Ranma considers the point. "I don't know. Heck, with all the things
I've seen about you, I can't comprehend what you people call good or bad.
You're being honest with her; in that, you're one up on me. I...hell, I can't
find it in myself to say to my Akane what you say to yours."

"Maybe because you really don't love her," Ranma-chan shrugs. "No shame
admitting that, you know. Ataru and Lum had to confront the lack of love in
their relationship before they got somewhere. You and Akane might have to do
the same thing."

"I guess," he scratches the back of his head. "Maybe you do care for
Akane, but she might want something more than just a determined fighter. She
said it herself. She wants class, she wants good behaviour, she wants...she
wants a person who knows when to fight and when NOT to fight."

"Hard for me to tell the difference, sometimes."

"It's hard for me, too," Ranma smiles. "You know, I wouldn't admit this
to anyone, not even Akane...not until you came."

"Ditto," she sighs. "Maybe you and I should team up to grab them both
while we still have the chance."

"Let's hope the Niphentaxians'll cooperate," he muses...

* * *

"Ranma, did you send your spirit-brother back to Earth...?" Akane-chan
asks as she peeks into Ranma-chan's quarters sometime later.

The watchmistress blinks, surprised to see her companion droid sitting
on the sofa, Ranma asleep in her lap. "Please be quiet," the mechanism
shushes her template. "She fell asleep an hour ago."

Akane nods, gazing curiously at the tranquil scene before her. Like
most *daishi'cha,* she had no real idea who made use of her companion droid.
The confidentiality of the companion android system gave it its allure. Very
rarely did people learn who had made use of their droids; asking them directly
got no answers unless you were a hacker like Nene, who knew EVERYONE who made
use of her droid. Akane knew that Ranma had a crush on her, but never thought
she was so desperate for Akane's company that she would bring her companion
droid to Earth.

"You really do care for me," Akane sighs, reaching up to gently stroke
Ranma's unruly hair. Scenes in the Chamber of Eternity replay in her mind.
Every time Akane had tried to be with someone since Ranma's arrival had
failed. Before Ataru's first visit, Ranma's interference was usually an icy
stare or a stern order to leave Akane alone. After, when Ranma tapped into
her explosive temper, people quickly wound up in a medical station whenever
they were caught suspiciously close to Akane. Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi were
unable to turn Ranma away from her chosen target despite their passion being
as fierce toward Ranma as Ranma's was to Akane. That thought makes Akane
blush as she kisses Ranma's forehead, eliciting a delighted purr from the
Terran-born watchmistress. Deciding that enough is enough, the Fukunokami-
born officer rises to leave.

"Don't go."

Akane turns back to see Ranma gazing at her. "Ranma..."

"Stay?" Ranma looks hopeful. "Please?"

Akane gazes at her, then stares at the companion droid. "Shut down."

The droid's eyes obediently close. Ranma stands, placing herself face-
to-face with Akane. The former's hands rises to caress the latter's face, the
first step to the bond-meld. Despite her passionate zeal for fighting, Ranma
considered herself very well-bred when it came to intimate matters.

Akane smiles. "There's an easier way to do that, Ranma."

"Eh?!"

With that, Akane's psi-shields drop! Ranma gasps in disbelief as her
shields disintegrate in shocked response, then their minds begin to caress
with an intimacy only Sagussans could comprehend...

* * *

An hour later, Ranma and Akane lay in the former's bed, warmly embracing
the other, both giddy after the passions their bonding unleashed. "I am so
happy this finally happened," the former sighs. "I dreamt of this again and
again."

"Disappointed?" the latter muses.

"With you?" Ranma kisses her. "Never."

Both sigh as they gaze at the stilled companion droid. "You know, Ukyou
and Shampoo aren't going to forgive us for this," Akane sighs. "We may have
just unleashed a whole new set of problems."

"Unfortunately," Ranma sighs. "So what can we do about it?"

They exchange a knowing look, then Akane picks up her discarded wrist-
communicator. Programming a special function into the communicator's mini-
computer, she calls out. "Commence operation. Authorization Akane-Sierra-Oh-
Six-Nine..."

* * *

"Good morning, Ranma," Akane raises her hand, then demolishes a cinder
block with a chop.

"Hi, Akane," Ranma smiles as he kneels before her. "Sleep well?"

"It was quiet," she clears the shattered concrete, then loads a new
block. "Nabiki rose very early to spend the money Nagaiwakai-sama left her.
She's been on the phone since, hogging all the modem time."

"Well, let's hope she pulls it off," he sighs, smiling. "She should be
okay. Someone with personal connections to the Diet and the Imperial Family
like Nagaiwakai-sama isn't an easy person to shake off, you know."

"True," she concentrates, then stops, gazing at him. "Something wrong?"

"Just watching you break blocks," he shrugs.

"What's wrong with me breaking blocks?"

"What is wrong?"

Akane jolts, surprised at Ranma's candor, normally expecting a coarse
insult at her tomboyish ways. Ranma-chan and Akane-chan then walk in, holding
hands. "Good morning, everyone!" the former smiles, then notices the
shattered concrete. "Wrecking masonry, Akane?! You ever thought of going
into demolition work?"

"Very funny, Ranma!" Akane snorts. "This is very demanding work."

With that, the cinder block is pulverized. "Not bad!" Akane-chan
smiles. "However, we would seek out the weak points in the concrete rather
than risk our skeletal integrity by employing the whole arm."

"It's a great chi-focusing exercise," Akane explains, then tenses as
suddden shouts erupt from outside. "What's going on?!"

Everyone turns to see Shampoo-chan storm in. "Okay, who's the wise
guy?!" she demands. "Where's that snake-in-the-grass Ukyou?!!"

"I haven't seen Ukyou this morning, Shampoo," Ranma-chan shakes her
head. "Something wrong?!"

"I'll tell y'all what's wrong!" Shampoo-chan growls. "That slut's droid
was sent to sleep with me last night!! What's the idea?!!"

"Who're YOU calling a slut, you back-stabber?!!" Ukyou-chan storms in
next, equally incensed. "You got balls talking about companion droids after I
spent the night fighting off YOUR companion droid last night!!"

The two glare at each other, lightning sparking off them. "Oh, I cannot
tell a lie," Akane-chan sighs, making a "woe is me" gesture with her arm.
"I'm the one who sent your companion droids to you."

"WHAT?!?!?!" both bellow. "WHY?!?!?!"

"For THIS reason!!" Akane-chan smiles as she sweeps Ranma-chan off her
feet, then overwhelms her with a kiss!

Shampoo-chan and Ukyou-chan scream, horrified as the lust-dazed Ranma-
chan melts to the dojo's floor. "Akane-chan..." she slurs.

"See!!" Akane-chan sweetly smiles. "She's all mine!!!"

If looks could kill, Ranma-chan would have found herself a widow. "You
...you...you horse-thief!!!" Ukyou-chan growls, eyes ablaze. "You DARE muscle
in on MY Ranma-chan?!!"

"YOUR Ranma-chan?!!" Shampoo-chan grabs her rival's collar. "Got news
for y'all, sleeze!!! Ranma-chan's MINE!!!!"

"Says who?!!" Ukyou-chan snarls.

"Says me!!!"

"Oh, yeah?!!"

"Yeah!!!"

The two scrapping Sagussans then roll out of the dojo in a cloud of dust
and flying fists. "Wow!" Ranma whistles, sweat pouring down his forehead.
"They're just as bad as our Ukyou and Shampoo!"

"Worse!!" Akane exclaims.

"Oh, we'd better calm them down," Akane-chan sighs. "C'mon, Ranma!"

"Coming, dear..." the dazed Ranma-chan staggers after her bond-mate...

* * *

"There he is!!" Odao sneers. "The traitor!"

A small group of Niphentaxians, dressed in day-wear in lieu of school
uniforms, gaggle at a corner, watching Fungi and Hitomi window-shop. "Look at
her!" one of the observers hisses. "Doesn't she look like the Sinful Doubter
Shinobu?!"

"That must be her cousin!" Odao muses. "Suzuki warned us about her!
She must not come to harm, although I suspect her passing would not be missed
too much..."

Suddenly, a stampede is heard approaching them from behind. "Stupid
Shampoo-chan no shut off robot Ukyou!!" Shampoo screams over her bicycle bell
ringing. "Robot Ukyou try to seduce Shampoo!"

"Hey, couldn't you do something about the Shampoo droid that came after
you?!" Ukyou demands. "She went after Konatsu-kun!!"

"QUIET!!!!!!" Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan scream at their spirit-
sisters. "WE'RE ARGUING HERE!!!!!!"

"Eh...?!" Odao turns to look...

...then gets run over by Ukyou-chan, who uses his face as a springboard!
"Out of my way!!!" the Sagussan screams.

Odao gasps as Ukyou-chan tears down the street...then gets slammed down
by Shampoo-chan, leaping after her fellow Sagussan!! "Come back, y'snake!!!"
the watchmistress bellows. "I ain't finished yellin' at y'all!!!"

Odao slams face-first into the concrete. "Are you okay?" queries an
observer kneeling beside him.

"How...dare those...primitives...step on...me...?" Odao grunts as he
tries to rise...

...then gets side-swiped by Ukyou's combat spatula! "Hey, we aren't
finished talking to you!!!" the okonomiyaki cook screams. "Come back here!!!"

Odao shudders, trying to rise...to get mowed down by Shampoo's bike!!
"Aiya!!!" the Chinese warrior-maiden bellows. "Ukyou-chan make robot Ukyou
stop chasing Shampoo!!"

A second later, the Ukyou-chan and Shampoo-chan companion droids, both
quite scandalously clad in lingerie, bowl over the whole observation group!!
"Come back to me, Shampoo!!!" the former cries. "I haven't shown you ALL of
my seduction programming!!"

"Ukyou-san!!!" the latter promises. "I can show y'all new things to do
with your spatula!!!"

As the Niphentaxians moan, Ranma-chan and Akane-chan race up, trampling
them to stop this madcap marathon. "You idiots!!!" the former bounds off
Odao's head, then races down the street. "Whattareya trying to prove?!!
We're supposed to be behaving ourselves!!! Knock it off!!!"

"Will you calm down?!!" the latter bounces off three other observers,
right behind her bond-mate. "You're not setting a good example for Sagussa!!"

Odao jolts. "Those harpies are Sagussan?!!" he leaps to his feet. "On
your feet, you idiots!!! This is our chance to destroy these demons...!!!"

Too late: he gets knocked over by Kunou! "PIG-TAILED GIRL!!!!
AKANE!!!!" the lovestruck kendoist cries out. "Come back to my waiting
arms!!!"

"You leave Akane alone, you horse-thief!!!" Ryouga Hibiki thunders over
them next. "Akane loves ME, not you!!!"

Mousse. "Shampoo, stop chasing those girls!! Come to me!!"

Konatsu. "Ukyou-sama, please come back!!"

Cologne. "My, this actually looks interesting!"

Next Happousai, with a bag crammed full of ladies underwear. "Wow!!
Whatta haul!! Whatta haul!!!"

Then a screaming pack of Furinkan High School girls. "YOU LECH, YOU
PERVERT!!!! BRING BACK OUR UNDERWEAR!!!!!!"

Finally, after Souun, Genma, Hinako, Nodoka, Ranma, Akane plus the
entire remaining cast of "Ranma 1/2" thunder by, the hapless Niphentaxians
find themselves trampled to the thickness of okonomiyaki! "These...Terrans
are...so violent..." Odao grunts, desperately stuggling to his feet.

Footfalls. The Niphentaxians see Kodachi-chan and Azusa-chan standing
there in uniform, weapons out and businesslike looks on their faces. Seeing
the phoenix insignia, Odao leaps to Kodachi's feet, bowing repentantly.
"Please!!! We surrender!!! We surrender!!! Just get us out of this
madhouse!!!"

Azusa and Kodachi exchange surprised looks...

* * *

The chase finally ends somewhere near Furinkan High School. The
Sagussans returned to take Odao and his observers into custody, turning them
over to Japanese authorities for processing as spies. For punishment, they
are transported to Monster Island as groundskeepers for Gojira's nest. Their
confessions, littered with unspeakable curses about the ghastly hospitality of
the citizens of Nerima, exposes Baron Suzuki's and Takanaba's plot. With
additional public scrutiny (thanks to Nagaiwakai), their plans against Earth's
future treaty with Sagussa are summarily halted.

Worse fate happens to the financier. Within three days, Nabiki Tendou
Enterprises (a subsidiary of Toranoseishin Finances) purchases majority stock
in Takanaba's company. Nabiki fires the financier personally and takes over
as chief executive officer. She then puts the company through massive
personnel restructuring.

The Chem Club members and their fiancees proceed to Kyoto to attend
university, marrying in private.

Fungi finally meets Hitomi's parents. After some initial hesitation on
their part, they officially bless their engagement. Fungi and Hitomi decide
to hold off on marrying until Shinobu has safely returned to Earth...

* * *

A week later, Ranma-chan's team of watchmistresses remain in Furinkan.
Despite their inflicting the loss of a dozen observers, the United Nations
decide that the Sagussans should remain in Nerima until such time as the
Church of Lum is terminated. With that, the six take residence at the Tendou
dojo, sleeping in tents set up in the front lawn.

It is a beautiful morning. Akane-chan has cooked the forenoon meal,
this time attended by all the "Ranma 1/2" cast regulars. To the relief of
Hinako and Nabiki (not to mention a very worried Souun Tendou), Azusa-chan and
Kodachi-chan spend their time with their new bond-mates Hinako-chan (a First
Fleet chief petty officer) and Nabiki-chan. Much to Ranma-chan's and Akane-
chan's surprise, Shampoo-chan and Ukyou-chan bond, reflecting on the enjoyable
evening they spent with the other's companion droid. Other than the multiple
responses whenever a girl's name was called out, there have been no problems
...until now.

"Okay!" Ranma calls out. "What's with all the looks?!"

The Sagussans have very pleased, content looks on their faces. Ranma-
chan and Akane-chan stare quizzically at him. "What do you mean, Ranma?" the
latter smiles.

"You eight have had those sickening smiles on your faces since we got
up!!" he points accusingly at them. "What's the story?!"

"We've been sick?" Ranma-chan gazes at her bond-mate.

"Stop stalling!!" Akane storms up. "By the looks of it, you girls've
had a very good time with someone last night! Who was it?!"

"Well, yes, we did spend some time in a gentleman's company," Akane-chan
returns to her knitting.

"I KNEW it!!!" Ranma spins on Kunou. "Did you do it, you lech?!!"

"Much that I would gladly give my company to these truly lovely ladies,
I sadly confess that I am innocent," the kendoist sighs, then glares at his
rival. "However, I do not put it past YOU, Saotome!!"

"RANMA?!?!?!" Souun appears behind his future son-in-law, now deformed
into a very hideous monster! "DID YOU...?!?!?!"

"I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!!!" Ranma panics, waving Souun off.

"Then who was it?!" Akane stares at her spirit-sister.

"It was an older gentleman!" Akane-chan romantically sighs. "Although
youth and stamina have their own desirable qualities, spirit-sister, dealing
with one possessing worldly experience has its own rewards!!"

Everyone exchanges looks. "'Older gentleman'...?!" Ranma wonders.

"Ladies!!" a voice calls out.

The Sagussans turn to see Happousai bounce up, dressed in an old style
swimsuit with beach party accessories stowed in his carryall. "There you
are!!" the aged master smiles. "Care to hit the beach today?! Got a private
spot for you!! Won't need to worry about bathing suits!!"

"Love to!" Akane-chan stands. "Let's go, girls!!"

With that, the eight Sagussans and Happousai stream off the property,
leaving behind a open-mouthed group of Terrans. "You mean...they were with
HIM?!?!" Ranma stammers, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Why, that randy old goat," Nabiki does not look up from her mountain of
computer print-out. "Never thought he had it in him!"

Everyone faints!

*** The End ***