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the problem with the truth is...

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$Zero

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Jan 5, 2009, 7:45:50 PM1/5/09
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the problem with the truth is...

it's not subject to the dictates of fashion.

or nationalism.

or any other self-serving nonsense.

for instance...

property isn't theft.

(in most cases).

...

in most cases...

property is a big fucking lie.

...

actually, it's more like a big fucking fib.

it's the _actions_ taken in service to "property" which are the real
crimes.

it's the actions taken in _bondage_ to "property" which are
despicable.

...

i say, in most cases, property is a lie.

because...

food grows on trees.

...

so it's not without a certain irony that the paper from which legal
documents are made also comes from trees.

although, the times are certainly a changin' in that regard.

treeless legalities.

pretty soon, agreements won't be worth the whisper they're not printed
on.

and we'll all be held to the whims of our words.

(and our cookies)

so let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

(and behold, the rocks went flyin' wildly from every which way!)

...

mankind is such a big fuckin' joke.

yikes.

...

mixed metaphors: the playground of the exceedingly bored.

...

what's fair is fair.

what's not is not.

...


-$Zero...

George Bush's IQ is 110, 93, 105, and 129
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/ca967b5528919541

http://ZeroRant.com/#SkipIntro

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 5, 2009, 9:52:37 PM1/5/09
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On Jan 5, 7:45 pm, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> i say, in most cases, property is a lie.
>
> because...
>
> food grows on trees.

Most of the food I eat doesn't.

$Zero

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Jan 5, 2009, 11:18:35 PM1/5/09
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yes, it does.

you just haven't given it enough thought.


-$Zero...

now there's a mouthful.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/1933d46c59c264ce

http://ZeroRant.com/#SkipIntro

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 5, 2009, 11:50:27 PM1/5/09
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On Jan 5, 11:18 pm, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 5, 9:52 pm, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 5, 7:45 pm, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > i say, in most cases, property is a lie.
>
> > > because...
>
> > > food grows on trees.
>
> > Most of the food I eat doesn't.
>
> yes, it does.
>
> you just haven't given it enough thought.

Example: spaghetti carbonara. What part of that grows on a tree?

Or a chicken sandwich.

Bill Penrose

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Jan 6, 2009, 12:14:07 AM1/6/09
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On Jan 5, 9:50 pm, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Or a chicken sandwich.

We have two chicken trees on our property. The neighbors sneak into
our yard and steal them.

Friggin eggs fall on the sidewalk. In summer, they cook.

DB

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 6, 2009, 12:37:30 AM1/6/09
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Well, actually, a chicken sandwich would probably involve mayonnaise,
which would probably involve lemon juice and lemons do grow on trees.

But most of the ingredients don't.

$Zero

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Jan 6, 2009, 3:44:55 AM1/6/09
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pop quiz.

in relation to truth and property, when i say that food grows on
trees, what do i mean?

...

clue: it's a metaphor thinger

...

meanwhile, kudos to Penrose for a delightfully funny and vivid
response.


-$Zero...

what's fair is fair.
what's not is not.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e34977f85d5d3188

http://ZeroRant.com/#SkipIntro

$Zero

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Jan 6, 2009, 4:04:51 AM1/6/09
to
On Jan 5, 7:45 pm, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:

> the problem with the truth is...

most people can't handle the truth.

so there's virtually no market for it.

which is precisely how i know that the new web publication (which i've
been developing for several years) will be a huge fucking success:

http://PureBullshit.com

i mean, talk about an enormously large existing market for a product,
huh?

whoa.


-$Zero...

i love when she does the frug. isn't being cute enough for you?
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/09d8e3bb5c4c9dee

 http://ZeroRant.com/#SkipIntro

Stan (the Man)

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Jan 6, 2009, 8:54:54 AM1/6/09
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Pies de Arcilla <dear...@gmail.com> wrote in news:3280af2e-af26-4e0c-8981-
12915a...@n10g2000vbl.googlegroups.com:

Are you absolutely certain you want to be a nightclub comic, Pies?

--
Stan

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 7, 2009, 12:12:34 AM1/7/09
to
On Jan 6, 3:44 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 6, 12:37 am, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > On Jan 6, 12:14 am, Bill Penrose <dangerousb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Jan 5, 9:50 pm, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > Or a chicken sandwich.
>
> > > We have two chicken trees on our property. The neighbors sneak
> > > into our yard and steal them.
>
> > > Friggin eggs fall on the sidewalk. In summer, they cook.
>
> > Well, actually, a chicken sandwich would probably involve mayonnaise,
> > which would probably involve lemon juice and lemons do grow on trees.
>
> > But most of the ingredients don't.
>
> pop quiz.
>
> in relation to truth and property, when i say that food grows on
> trees, what do i mean?
>
> ...
>
> clue: it's a metaphor thinger

Only you know what you mean.

Unless you deign to explain your deep thoughts in more detail, I can't
be expected to explain why you're wrong.

However, my intuition tells me that the following article will likely
be relevant, should you choose to elaborate:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_tree_pollination

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 7, 2009, 12:14:29 AM1/7/09
to
On Jan 6, 8:54 am, "Stan (the Man)" <stanINVA...@rvckids.us.INVALID>
wrote:
> Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote in news:3280af2e-af26-4e0c-8981-
> 12915acf2...@n10g2000vbl.googlegroups.com:

>
> > On Jan 6, 12:14 am, Bill Penrose <dangerousb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >> On Jan 5, 9:50 pm, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> > Or a chicken sandwich.
>
> >> We have two chicken trees on our property. The neighbors sneak into
> >> our yard and steal them.
>
> >> Friggin eggs fall on the sidewalk. In summer, they cook.
>
> > Well, actually, a chicken sandwich would probably involve mayonnaise,
> > which would probably involve lemon juice and lemons do grow on trees.
>
> > But most of the ingredients don't.
>
> Are you absolutely certain you want to be a nightclub comic, Pies?

Pretty much the only time I'm not being completely serious is when I'm
playing dumb.

$Zero

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Jan 7, 2009, 5:46:30 AM1/7/09
to
On Jan 7, 12:12 am, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 6, 3:44 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > On Jan 6, 12:37 am, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > On Jan 6, 12:14 am, Bill Penrose <dangerousb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > On Jan 5, 9:50 pm, Pies de Arcilla <dearci...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > Or a chicken sandwich.
>
> > > > We have two chicken trees on our property. The neighbors sneak
> > > > into our yard and steal them.
>
> > > > Friggin eggs fall on the sidewalk. In summer, they cook.
>
> > > Well, actually, a chicken sandwich would probably involve mayonnaise,
> > > which would probably involve lemon juice and lemons do grow on trees.
>
> > > But most of the ingredients don't.
>
> > pop quiz.
>
> > in relation to truth and property, when i say that food grows on
> > trees, what do i mean?
>
> > ...
>
> > clue: it's a metaphor thinger
>
> Only you know what you mean.

am i really that poor of a writer?


> Unless you deign to explain your deep thoughts in more detail,
> I can't be expected to explain why you're wrong.

um... i'm not at all wrong.

food grows on trees.

that's an undeniable fact.

but even if you want to argue whether or not ALL food grows on trees,
metaphorically speaking, you have no hope whatsoever of "explaining
why i'm wrong" -- just so you know.

because somewhere along the food chain exists a tree of some sort.

thus yielding chicken feed.

however, for the purpose of this essay, one might assume that the
phrase "food grows on trees" would likely be widely understood as a
sublime response to the old adage "money doesn't grow on
trees!" (which is so often relied upon to argue against so-called
"entitlement").

when the truth is that money does in fact grow on trees,
metaphorically speaking.

and in actual paper as well.

as does all food.

including chicken sandwiches and spaghetti carbonara.

> However, my intuition tells me that the following article will likely
> be relevant, should you choose to elaborate:
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_tree_pollination

hey, go ahead.

try to make your argument that a tomato seed is someone's capital.

good luck with that.

the only way you can "win" that argument is with a gun.

therefore, it's a big fucking lie.

HTH.


-$Zero...


the problem with the truth is...

most people can't handle the truth.

so there's virtually no market for it.

which is precisely how i know that
the new web publication (which i've
been developing for several years)
will be a huge fucking success:

http://PureBullshit.com

i mean, talk about an enormously large
existing market for a product, huh?

whoa.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/4bb5ea232c1ed602


Because you don't know what you're missing.
http://MustReadBloggers.com

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 8, 2009, 1:22:09 AM1/8/09
to

MOST food does not grow on trees. It either comes from animals or non-
tree plants.

> because somewhere along the food chain exists a tree of some sort.
>
> thus yielding chicken feed.

Chicken feed does not grow on trees. As far as I know, it's mostly
grain and/or protein.

$Zero

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Jan 8, 2009, 2:50:37 AM1/8/09
to

all food grows on trees.


> It either comes from animals or non- tree plants.

there are no such thing as non-tree plants.


> > because somewhere along the food chain exists a tree of some sort.
>
> > thus yielding chicken feed.
>
> Chicken feed does not grow on trees.

yes it does.


> As far as I know, it's mostly grain and/or protein.

tree = "a figure that branches from a single root"

a figure that branches from a seed, so to speak.

all food grows on trees.


-$Zero...

try to make your argument that a
tomato seed is someone's capital.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/ec2676c4f8fc9255

Because there's not much of a market for truth
http://PureBullshitTimes.com

Pies de Arcilla

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Jan 8, 2009, 1:15:10 PM1/8/09
to
On Jan 8, 2:50 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> tree = "a figure that branches from a single root"
>
> a figure that branches from a seed, so to speak.
>
> all food grows on trees.

So you're saying everything is related; therefore everything is part
of a tree?

Sylvia

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Jan 8, 2009, 4:15:29 PM1/8/09
to
Pies de Arcilla wrote:

> $Zero wrote:
.


> > tree = "a figure that branches from a single root"
> >
> > a figure that branches from a seed, so to speak.
> >
> > all food grows on trees.
>
> So you're saying everything is related; therefore everything is part
> of a tree?

<bursting into song>

"I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all nougat center!
I am... I am the egg roll,
they are the egg roll,
we are the wallaroos..."

</bursting into song>

<considering>

No, that's not quite right... lesseee... Oooh! Now I remember! It's:

<performing 1960's, Twist-esque kinda dance and singing>

"Do the Stan Thing! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Baby, Baby, everyone's doin' the Stan Thing!

"I am Stan as you are Stan as they are Stan
And we are all together Stan (the) Man
When we're doin' the Stan Thing!

"Bay-ay-bee! Do the Stan Thing!
Koo-koo-kachoo! Do the Stan Thing!
Hey, hey, hey! I'm doin' the Stan Thing!" [1]


--
Sylvia

[1] Supreme Ruler, Sylvia The (2007) "Some thoughts on the prominence of
Mr. Stan (the Man) and resultant IAAS development in MW"
The (Official) Misc.Writing Journal of Stuff, 16, pp. 407-762.


Joshua P. Hill: "I'm not the one who mentioned Stan. Why, I'm a
regular Stan-free zone, understand?"

Miz Sylvia: "GAWD! Would ya stop mentioning Mr. Stan's name
every five minutes? I'm trying to ignore him!"
--
Sylvia <--- Also PLONKED Mr. Stan (and I
thought of it first. Really)."

Joshua P. Hill: "I find particularly amusing is the inability of
some parties to accept the fact that they've
been killfiled. [...] Stan's a big boy, and I
Imagine that once it's sunk in that I really,
no really feel no great urge to read
His Posts,"

Miz Sylvia: "Oooh! "His Posts"! Has Mr. Stan moved on
to God Status?

" <cross> Why didn't anyone call me on the mw
Backchannel Hotline and tell me? I shouldn't
have to find out like this. PLONKING a God
might not be such a good idea. Someone shoulda
spilled the dirt." [2]

[2] Ibid.

Stan (the Man)

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Jan 8, 2009, 5:20:55 PM1/8/09
to
Sylvia <syl...@cliffhangerREMOVE.com> wrote in news:sylvia-
6B3210.151...@newsfarm.nyc.highwinds-media.com:

Damn! Earworm.

--
Stan

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