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i've never had a martini.

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$Zero

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Nov 26, 2009, 1:02:14 PM11/26/09
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i've never had a martini.

does that make me a bad person?

oh well.

i just always opt for a beer, i guess.

or scotch.

or almost anything other than a martini.

...

so what do they taste like?

because i'll probably never ever try one.

not even a sip.

...

i'm not even sure what goes in to making one.

vodka?

vermouth?

olive?

who cares, really.

just not interested.

maybe it's the way they're served, and revered.

no thanks.

i'll pass.

give me a shot of peach schnapps, instead.

or whatever other low-brow thing you've got in stock.

i'm in it for the kick, not the photo-op.

-$Zero...

the ratio -- what matters vs what doesn't
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/8e9980802a0cff1b

Grand Mal

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Nov 26, 2009, 2:41:37 PM11/26/09
to

"$Zero" <zero...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:2490429c-1ab2-488d...@m26g2000yqb.googlegroups.com...

> i've never had a martini.
>
> does that make me a bad person?
>
> oh well.
>
> i just always opt for a beer, i guess.
>
> or scotch.
>
> or almost anything other than a martini.
>
> ...
>
> so what do they taste like?
>
> because i'll probably never ever try one.
>
> not even a sip.
>
> ...
>
> i'm not even sure what goes in to making one.
>
> vodka?
>
> vermouth?
>
> olive?
>
> who cares, really.
>
> just not interested.
>
> maybe it's the way they're served, and revered.
>
> no thanks.
>
> i'll pass.
>
> give me a shot of peach schnapps, instead.
>
> or whatever other low-brow thing you've got in stock.
>
> i'm in it for the kick, not the photo-op.
>
> -$Zero...

Reverse snobbery is still snobbery. Try it first at home in a jelly jar if
it matters to you.
If you like hard-chilled straight vodka, you might like a martini. If you
don't like straight booze, don't waste your money- you won't like it.

$Zero

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Nov 26, 2009, 2:59:43 PM11/26/09
to
On Nov 26, 2:41 pm, "Grand Mal" <ironw...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote in message

perhaps.

but being the utter snob that i am,
i much prefer reverse snobbery.

> Try it first at home in a jelly jar if
> it matters to you.

so there really is an actual kick beyond the photo-op?

that surprises me.

> If you like hard-chilled straight vodka, you might like a martini.

i like almost any very cold beverage.

as far as vodka, i used to drink Tango when i was a teen-ager.

yikes.

but i do enjoy a refreshing Long Island Iced Tea in the summer.

or five.

> If you don't like straight booze,

it has its place.

> don't waste your money-

what money?

i just rob the liquor stores.

> you won't like it.

i think its most of the pretentious folks i've seen coddling it that i
mostly don't like.

but i'll still never likely try it.

seems way too bitter.

when it comes to booze, i've got a sweet tooth.

well, i did, until it finally fell out.

> >  the ratio -- what matters vs what doesn't
> >  http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/8e9980802a0cff1b

-$Zero...

every slight advantage helps.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/a8547a7aa07d36da

Towse

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Nov 27, 2009, 2:19:58 AM11/27/09
to

Vodka? Gin. And vermouth. Please. A vodka martini isn't.


--
Sal

Ye olde swarm of links: thousands of links for writers, researchers and
the terminally curious <http://writers.internet-resources.com>

ing

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Nov 27, 2009, 4:24:53 PM11/27/09
to
On Nov 27, 2:19 am, Towse <s...@towse.com> wrote:
> Grand Mal wrote:
> > "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote in message

Ya got that right! Just because they serve it in a martini glass
doesn't make it a real martini. All those johnny-come-latelys have co-
opted the martini name. Can you believe there's some monstrosity now
called a "chocolate martini"?! What in heaven's name is the world
coming to?

Best real martini - large frosted martini glass swished with dry
vermouth, then add three ounces of good gin (preferably Tanqueray) and
gently stir with three olives on a large toothpick. A drink for the
gods!

ing

john.ku...@sympatico.ca

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Nov 27, 2009, 4:53:31 PM11/27/09
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Grand Mal

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Nov 27, 2009, 5:29:47 PM11/27/09
to

"Towse" <se...@towse.com> wrote in message
news:henuis$gld$1...@news.eternal-september.org...

Snob.
Gin's good for two things- G&T in summer and dripped onto a half-shell
oyster.

Towse

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Nov 28, 2009, 2:36:50 AM11/28/09
to

G&T is good too. I have them when we're at pah-ties with tenders behind
the bar when you want to order something simple that isn't a glass of
wine and I had them for sundowners when we were in Africa a year or two ago.

Best martini in town (not that I'm a martini drinker the other 364 days
a year) is at the House of Prime Rib on Van Ness where we go with
whatever family is with us on Christmas Eve. Shaken, not stirred. HOPR
pours what they have in your glass and leave the leavings for you in the
shaker so you can refill your glass when it gets empty.

Nice.

And, yet, to reiterate ... a vodka martini isn't.

Alan Hope

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Nov 28, 2009, 10:39:48 AM11/28/09
to
On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:

>just not interested.

[800 lines of not being interested snipped]


--
AH
http://grapes2dot0.blogspot.com

Alan Hope

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Nov 28, 2009, 10:41:38 AM11/28/09
to
On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:

>give me a shot of peach schnapps, instead.

Pansy. A drink for little girls.


--
AH
http://grapes2dot0.blogspot.com

Alan Hope

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Nov 28, 2009, 10:41:53 AM11/28/09
to
On Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:29:47 GMT, in misc.writing "Grand Mal"
<iron...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>Gin's good for two things- G&T in summer and dripped onto a half-shell
>oyster.

Heathen.

--
AH
http://grapes2dot0.blogspot.com

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 11:26:02 AM11/28/09
to
On Nov 28, 10:39 am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>
> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >just not interested.
>
> [800 lines of not being interested snipped]

50.

-$Zero...

"There are 10 types of math people:
Those who can do binary and those who can't."
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/11f4eae05fded0f1

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 11:30:05 AM11/28/09
to
On Nov 28, 10:41 am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>
> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >give me a shot of peach schnapps, instead.
>
> Pansy. A drink for little girls.

i don't drink to be macho.

-$Zero...

when it comes to booze,
i've got a sweet tooth.
well, i did, until it finally fell out.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/4a68fd3b698486a8

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 11:54:11 AM11/28/09
to
On Nov 28, 11:26 am, "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 28, 10:39 am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>
> > <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > >just not interested.
>
> > [800 lines of not being interested snipped]
>
> 50.

actually, given the manner in which i write these utterly important
thoughts of mine, more than half of those 50 lines were blank.

which means i only wrote about 20 actual lines on the subject in
question.

although, truth be told, since i sometimes write only a single word
(or two) on a whole line, when you get write down to it, i really only
wrote a single paragraph about my disinterest in martinis.

however, as usual, i _did_ manage to make my lack of interest
interesting.

-$Zero...

perhaps. but being the utter snob that
i am, i much prefer reverse snobbery.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/4a68fd3b698486a8

Alan Hope

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Nov 28, 2009, 9:32:37 PM11/28/09
to
On Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:26:02 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Nov 28, 10:39�am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>>
>> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >just not interested.
>>
>> [800 lines of not being interested snipped]
>
>50.

Apology accepted, on behalf of the newsgroup.


--
AH
http://grapes2dot0.blogspot.com

Alan Hope

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Nov 28, 2009, 9:32:58 PM11/28/09
to
On Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:30:05 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
<zero...@gmail.com> wrote:

>On Nov 28, 10:41�am, Alan Hope <usenet.ident...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:02:14 -0800 (PST), in misc.writing "$Zero"
>>
>> <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >give me a shot of peach schnapps, instead.
>>
>> Pansy. A drink for little girls.
>
>i don't drink to be macho.

So what do you do?


--
AH
http://grapes2dot0.blogspot.com

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 10:27:45 PM11/28/09
to

apology refund requested.

on behalf of moi.

-$Zero...

however, as usual, i _did_ manage to
make my lack of interest interesting.

http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/9eb75d1f6d5bd873

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 10:28:55 PM11/28/09
to

develop a warm buzz.


-$Zero...

so they announced today that
there's water on the moon!
and it only took 40 years to discover it.
...
but seriously, way to go, NASA!
...
no, i kid the space program.
keep up the good work.
love that Tang, and whatnot.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/1fec264b560d50e2
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/e700d991b491bc6a

$Zero

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Nov 28, 2009, 11:01:50 PM11/28/09
to
On Nov 27, 4:24 pm, ing <ing.blue...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> On Nov 27, 2:19 am, Towse <s...@towse.com> wrote:
> > Grand Mal wrote:
> > > "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > >

snobfest alert!

> Just because they serve it in a martini glass
> doesn't make it a real martini.

what is the function of "the martini glass" other than allowing you to
carry your drink around without dripping it all over your clothes and
messing up the carpet?

> All those johnny-come-latelys have co-opted the martini name.

it is its own legend?

> Can you believe there's some monstrosity now
> called a "chocolate martini"?!  

blasphemy!

> What in heaven's name is the world coming to?

a Walmart near you.


> Best real martini - large frosted martini glass

which is different from a soup bowl in what significant way?

> swished with dry vermouth,

photo-op!

> then add three ounces of good gin (preferably Tanqueray)

is there any gin in existence, no matter what the cost, that doesn't
taste like liquefied pine cone needles?

yikes.

in the taste department, gin is actually worse than vodka.

> and gently stir with three olives on a large toothpick.  

balsa wood, aged oak, or plastic?

do the gods have a preference?


> A drink for the gods!

Vernor's soda pop.

or Canada Dry ginger ale.

preferably in an ice-filled container of some sort so it doesn't get
all over my hands while i guzzle it all in.

-$Zero...

my disinterest in martinis.
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/9eb75d1f6d5bd873

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