what Obama needs to do now
$Zero
[press conference]
Obama steps up to the podium and looks right into the camera:
...
i fucked up.
i seriously fucked up.
i let my ego get in the way.
it was a brutal campaign and i took it personally.
i'm only human.
anyway, this election is far too important to allow my ego to over-
rule my conscience and my common sense, thus permiting the "Bush
administration" to play all of their dirty tricks and pull yet another
one over on the American people -- who are way too busy trying to
survive to see thru it all the machinations.
the fact is, we simply cannot afford another four years of mass
madness, greed, and stupidity to have its hands on the helm of the
free world.
they've screwed up things wayyy too much for me to allow that to
happen.
i made a serious error and, unlike the Bushies and their ilk, i'm man
enough and humble enough and wise enough to admit my errors (AND fix
them) before the damage increases exponentially, for no good reason
whatsoever.
so, may i now introduce you to my new VP:
Hillary Clinton
[press erupts in a furious panic, frantically shouting out questions]
no, no, no, listen, she had half of the vote... HALF, FFS... and i
made a huge fucking mistake in not selecting her as my running mate.
and i admit it.
so, let's move on.
[press erupts in another furious panic, again frantically shouting out
questions]
ok, listen, no, no, no...
look, Senator Biden is in FULL agreement with me, and, like myself, is
man enough to admit that Hillary is the way better choice. and... the
patriot that he is, he totally accepts my decision on the matter
without the slightest bit of anger.
in fact, he applauds it.
now, please, please quiet down while Hillary makes her statement.
[press again erupts in a furious panic, frantically shouting out
questions]
no, no, no... look, you're gonna have to pipe down.
we simply cannot allow the gimmicky choice of that crazy Alaskan chick
to ruin the world.
we're all grown-ups here, and we have to behave like grown-ups.
so, please, get ahold of yourselves and be quiet while Senator Clinton
takes the podium.
[press erupts in a furious panic, frantically shouting out questions]
no, no, no... look, i'm just as sorry as you all are that the GOP blew
all of its dirty trick research and strategy money on the Senator
Biden selection, and then pulled this Palin crap out of the dank
recesses of their focus group think-tanks, but that's life... [winks
to Hillary].
[Hillary winks back, smiling widely.]
ok?
now, Hillary, please, c'mon up here. the mike is all yours.
...
Hillary: "Senator Obama is right. the stakes are far too high to allow
lipstick metaphors to get mixed up."
-$Zero...
McSame management selects VP... and the winner is... Ms. Shame!
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/7e65b76a37753722
Ivan Dale
"$Zero" <zero...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:35086848-f54f-44e0...@79g2000hsk.googlegroups.com...
> what Obama needs to do now
>
> [press conference]
>
> Obama steps up to the podium and looks right into the camera:
>
> ...
>
> i fucked up.
>
> i seriously fucked up.
Sound advice, zero.
+++News Flash!!+++
Skinny black man takes advice from unemployable newsfrouper of *other*
ethnicity and turns his campaign fortunes around 360 degrees! Whoop!
Damn I'm good.
--Geno the Good
$Zero
> "$Zero" <zeroi...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:35086848-f54f-44e0...@79g2000hsk.googlegroups.com...
>
> > what Obama needs to do now
>
> > [press conference]
>
> > Obama steps up to the podium and looks right into the camera:
>
> > ...
>
> > i fucked up.
>
> > i seriously fucked up.
>
> Sound advice, zero.
well, duh.
i don't give out any other kind.
> +++News Flash!!+++
>
> Skinny black man takes advice from unemployable newsfrouper
fuckin' aye i'm unemployable.
i took a solemn entrepreurial vow.
which is how i became so wise to the world, you dumbuck.
opened my eyes, it did.
you'd just LOVE it if i was stuck in some dead-end job, all distracted
and confused, wouldn't you?
heh.
you and your ilk are all the same.
jealous, bitter, angry, greedy, stupid.
sadistic.
desperate.
malicious.
full of fear.
yikes.
how do you manage to live with yourself?
oh wait, let me guess, it's that lap of luxury you always boast about.
bwah!
> of *other* ethnicity and turns his campaign fortunes around
> 360 degrees! �Whoop!
Italian is not just another ethnicity, it's largely the basis of
civilization, and art.
> Damn I'm good.
no man is good.
> --Geno the Good
let's face it Geno, you don't even try to be fuckin' good.
you wouldn't have the vaguest clue where to begin.
it has to do with your heart, Dude.
you shall know them by their fruits.
so what are your fruits, Geno?
constantly sadisticly braggin' about the lap of luxury you supposedly
live in.
is that rich or what?
"It's an Indian thing.
We're not taken in
by appearances."
-- Ed Chigliak
[actor: Darren E. Burrows; from
the tv show: "Northern Exposure"]
-$Zero...
entitlement (type that word out with one finger)
http://groups.google.com/group/misc.writing/msg/f302c25910c291bc
Thomas Armagost
Eight years of Dick Cheney. Joe Biden is a big improvement.
--
http://sillyblog.net "Don't forget to register to vote" - Frank Zappa