JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU SAW EVERYTHING . . .u

[Intrepid]

<
============================
< BREAKING NEWS
============================
<
MAHANOY CITY, Pa (Rueters) -- Yes,
Virginia, miracles DO HAPPEN every
now and then.
<
Ed Conrad actually was unconscious,
certainly not dead, while he lay bare-ass
naked on the table in the chilly mortuary
ready to get his first healthy dose of
embalming fluid last night.
<
As it was about to be injected, the
ice-cold "corpse" suddenly sat up,
yawned and casually remarked, "Boy,
am I ever hungry!"
<
The funeral director and his assistant
were shocked further when Ed angrily
asked: "Can someone PLEASE get me
a blanket because I'm freezing my balls
off."
<
Not bad for the man who shot himself
four or five times in the head in what
the Schuylkill County coroner had
described as "an unfortunate gunning
accident."
<
Consequently, Ed is now in a hospital
recovering from his gunshot wounds
and is rather confident that, in a few
weeks, a good plastic surgeon will be
abe to patch the egg-size holes in his
head.
<
It also should be noted that the
Requiem Mass as well as the funeral,
scheduled for Wednesday, have been
cancelled.
<
A family spokesman said Ed not
only is happy to be alive but also
thanks the millions of people who
undoubtedly prayed like hell for
the miracle.
<
"He especially appreciates the
kindness of those who had sent
'Get Well' cards but wants it known
that he has a special fondness for
those that contain cash."
<
< =================
<
< EARLIER STORIES
<
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/465d09685becafc5#
<
================
<
CAUTION: DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE
<
http://www.edconrad.com/wellread.html

[THE COLONEL]

CONFIDENCE IN YOUR EMBALMER

It is unethical, dishonest, and unwise to divulge any confidence, privacy,
or secrets of the domestic life in any home where the embalmer is called
during the natural course of his professional duties. This prohibition
extends to include any information as to the illness, cause of death,
physical defects, abnormalities, financial affairs, or transactions, or any
other information customarily considered confidential.