Female Suicide
pug
coast this year -- nothing like the possibility of 6-12 inches of snow
in middle April to make one realize the effects of global warming...
Anyway, this past week a member of my extended family (my second
cousin's daughter's daughter) attempted suicide.
I don't know this relative of mine...except my mom said she is "like
me." Odd.
She is 15 years old.
She has is on anti-depressants.
She is a twin.
She and her twin sister are described as "quiet."
Both are thin and supposedly "anorexic."
Both do not have boyfriends and prefer to talk to each other and not
other people.
In a nutshell, I guess one can say they are female "misfits" in the
making.
At 16 years old I had my first real suicidal thought -- I went down to
the basement, grabbed a knife off my dad's workbench and crumpled to
the floor sobbing, ready to slit my wrists.
This relative of mine at 15, did something I never could do -- she
went past the fear point of suicide and took an overdose of pills
(they are still trying to determine the exact type).
Her mother was in London at the time and rushed back home after having
heard the news from family members. This girl is now in the hospital
on a respirator where they are trying to repair the damage done to her
kidneys. She came out of a coma yesterday. Her family has been at the
hospital round the clock.
Being I can never seem to shut off my brain, I thought about this girl
and why she may have attempted suicide.
I told my twin sis, if this girl pulls through, she should come talk
to us about the whole misfit female twin *thing.* My sis laughed and
said "Are you kidding, that would definitely push her over the edge!
After talking to two forty year old twin losers, she will definitely
want to kill herself!"
I laughed along with my twin, because in reality she was probably
right. But perhaps this girl speaking with two older twins who have
been through the whole "twin thing" can be somewhat comforting --
perhaps even more so than just her taking anti-depression medication.
I don't know why this relative of mine attempted suicide, I can only
guess being a twin myself and also being labeled "quiet" growing up
that she had gone beyond hope that her situation would ever improve.
Perhaps she has problems in school with bullying (that was my major
problem that lead me to suicidal thoughts). Perhaps, for a female
misfit teenager, who is not part of the "in" crowd, or the
"sisterhood" such social ostracism is a fate worse than death. But
again, I don't really know why she took the pills.
When one is 15 or 16 years old and you are already to the point of
suicidal thoughts, 5, 10, 15 years in the future is unimaginable. All
you can think of is the "here and now" -- things will always stay the
same and will never change or get better.
Don't many of us here on a.s.s. think the same way?
I know many of us here have suicidal thoughts or have had them in the
past. What makes us continue on living?
For myself, I am too much of a wimp to actually take that final step
of suicide. I am always afraid that I will do it wrong and end up in a
coma or brain damaged -- both options are worse than death for me. So
I continue to live and I have now made certified "hag" status. I guess
that is something to be proud of. [grin]
To be honest, I have not had a suicidal thought since early January of
this year. That says a lot for me!
Will I ever have a suicidal thought again?
Perhaps. Nothing is guaranteed in life.
Do I want to continue to "feel" miserable and depressed the majority
of what remaining time I have left?
Hell no. I hate feeling miserable, I hate being depressed.
So, I am taking it on myself to "get my shit together" and change
myself from the inside out. Me. I'm doing it. I expect no help from
anyone else, I expect no help from drugs. Only me and my spirituality
(the dreaded "G" word).
This past January when I had my last depressive fit, my ex sent me an
email that made me think. It was a story about a monk who was working
on being "the happiest man in the world." He was internally working on
himself to be content and peaceful in whatever he did and however his
life unfolded. My ex said, if one could internally "be happy"
regardless of one's external situation in life (truly be happy and
live happy, not just say they are happy and be miserable inside) ,
then one has truly reached a higher point in human existence.
OK, I'm not a monk. I am just pug, an American misfit female who
probably only has a few years left (thank God!), who can't hold a job
and spends way too much time on Usenet writing bullshit.
But I determined after reading that article that there was always
something missing in my life. And what was that? [drum roll please] --
FUN.
Yup. Fun.
I think too much, I belabor too much, I expect too much.
Where is the fun in that?
I understand there is a time to be serious, but my problem was I was
making NO time to have fun. None. Little Miss Serious, that be me.
Obviously, fun is what many of us here on a.s.s. are missing in our
lives. We look to others to make our lives fun, instead of us just
going out and making the fun on our own. Seriously.
First step in finding fun in my humble opinion, is to stop worrying
what others think about you. Let go of trying to please everyone and
instead start to please yourself.
Second step, start taking chances in your life. Do something you have
always wanted to do. Go someplace you have always wanted to go.
Third step, laugh more. Seriously, laugh at yourself, laugh at the
absurdity of life (life is absurd there is no doubt about that).
Fourth step, realize you are the one living in your own skin, nobody
else can do it for you. Why not start to enjoy your own skin and who
you are as a person? Many call that confidence.
Yeah, what I just wrote has been written thousands of times before by
every self help guru on this planet, so what I say is nothing new.
Yeah, I realize anxiety/shyness issues for many people here on a.s.s.
are very, very difficult to overcome.
However, such crippling issues CAN be overcome. Oh, most of us will
never be extroverts or the life of the party. And most of us will
never have a boat load of friends, or be "seduction artists." But we
can be who we are, "misfits," and still have fun in our own way.
OK, 'nuff said. That's pug's pep talk for the week. Now back to
a.s.s.'s regularly scheduled program of "How to bag a hag without
really trying." [grin]
pug
[It's the Co Co Wheats I tell you!]
RonW
I think all of us have contemplated suicide at some point in our
lives. (Just a guess) When you don't fit into the world, you feel
like an outcast and unless you come up with some sort of system to
deal with that issue, you can despair which leads to thoughts like
that. Then you come to the point where you decide to evaluate yourself
and fix what's fixable, or give up.
If you choose to fix things, you start with places in your life that
will cause you to see yourself differently. For me, one place I
decided to start with was ridding myself of the false walls of
protection, which really weren't protecting me anyway. (facades)
Walking carefully choosing judgment calls based on mindful reasoning
instead of careless impulsive decisions. Over time, you learn to
trust yourself and that compounds to the outside world around you.
Fix the inside, and then the outside fixes itself. Just one of my
many life systems I follow.
Self-esteem building begins with learning to protect yourself from
emotional harm because in the beginning process, you are vulnerable.
Withdrawing from the world in a hermit type of lifestyle is what I did
- I drew borders around little parts of the world where I decided to
trial and error things with and build systems for living based on the
results of those trials/errors. Start small, little things you know
you can succeed in and each time, try and expand a little. A good
analogy for this is the butterfly that only becomes what he is because
of the cocoon stage - metamorphosis. Withdraw into yourself, learn
things, fix things, empower yourself, and then turn that power on the
world outside of the cocoon once you are ready.
Emotionally, you contemplate what triggers the shame and despair -
usually some part of the unresolved past needs to be looked over and
it's entirely possible to face and fix those things without a
therapist. All it takes is self-honesty - which is a skill that you
learn from practicing honesty in the outside world. (See above -
removing facades)
You never are 'cured' - but you can learn to navigate a little better
which is where I am in life. I have skills now I didn't have 10 years
ago due to contemplation and practice. I live in a private setting,
which is what I withdraw to each day after going out and about in
society. Of late, I am becoming more involved in society and while
I'm not comfortable with it, I've learned to focus on what's important
to me and ignore the rest.
Good luck with your inner journey. As we talked about before, within
each of us is a whole universe complete with answers that make sense.
All people have to do is take the time to look.
As for the Nor'easter - we'll ride out the storm just fine. It'll be
over before you know it and my hunch is it's not going to be that bad
here. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
RW
Solitary Soul
IOW: To maximize your happiness potential - which is the ultimate objective in life.
You once ridiculed me for that - and now you're making a "revelation"
that I've made several times before.
>I think too much, I belabor too much, I expect too much.
>
>Where is the fun in that?
>
>I understand there is a time to be serious, but my problem was I was
>making NO time to have fun. None. Little Miss Serious, that be me.
>
>Obviously, fun is what many of us here on a.s.s. are missing in our
>lives. We look to others to make our lives fun, instead of us just
>going out and making the fun on our own. Seriously.
>
>First step in finding fun in my humble opinion, is to stop worrying
>what others think about you. Let go of trying to please everyone and
>instead start to please yourself.
>
>Second step, start taking chances in your life. Do something you have
>always wanted to do. Go someplace you have always wanted to go.
>
>Third step, laugh more. Seriously, laugh at yourself, laugh at the
>absurdity of life (life is absurd there is no doubt about that).
>
>Fourth step, realize you are the one living in your own skin, nobody
>else can do it for you. Why not start to enjoy your own skin and who
>you are as a person? Many call that confidence.
Fifth step: try to find a social domain where you can perform socially
to your most optimal extent - a group where you could potentially fit in.
>Yeah, what I just wrote has been written thousands of times before by
>every self help guru on this planet, so what I say is nothing new.
>
>Yeah, I realize anxiety/shyness issues for many people here on a.s.s.
>are very, very difficult to overcome.
>
>However, such crippling issues CAN be overcome. Oh, most of us will
>never be extroverts or the life of the party. And most of us will
>never have a boat load of friends, or be "seduction artists." But we
>can be who we are, "misfits," and still have fun in our own way.
>
>OK, 'nuff said. That's pug's pep talk for the week. Now back to
>a.s.s.'s regularly scheduled program of "How to bag a hag without
>really trying." [grin]
>
>pug
>
>[It's the Co Co Wheats I tell you!]
Terrific.
Why is it that when I make posts like this I either get ridiculed or ignored?
.
Solitary Soul -> http://users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
"Most of the people here have no hope in them they'll be allowed
into the humanity club and just hate everybody for keeping them out.
The truth is now we keep ourselves out."
- Bandaid, 02-01-04
pug
>IOW: To maximize your happiness potential - which is the ultimate objective in life.
>You once ridiculed me for that - and now you're making a "revelation"
>that I've made several times before.
Where did I ridicule you for that? (I don't have the energy to look up
my pasts posts in Google, I'll let you do that - [grin])
Anyway, of course I am now making a "revelation" that you have made
many times before. So?
As I said before, there have been thousands of self help gurus (and
philosophers) who have said the same thing years before you and I
ever made a pit stop on this planet.
Does that make my "revelation" any less of a "revelation" for me?
I don't want to split hairs here...as that eats into my fun. LOL!
>Fifth step: try to find a social domain where you can perform socially
>to your most optimal extent - a group where you could potentially fit in.
Wait a minute aren't you saying what I always say?
Find like-minded people to "hang" with?
It doesn't matter who says what here on a.s.s. as long as some of the
supposed "advice" helps others to change for the better (should they
want to). I am too old to quibble about "who said what when." Been
there, done that. Time to move on.
>Terrific.
>Why is it that when I make posts like this I either get ridiculed or ignored?
You want my honest opinion?
My opinion is that your posts (along with a few others who post here
on a.s.s., whose names I will keep to myself) come across as
pretentious and snotty.
Seriously. A big turn off for people looking for real advice, IMO.
Now I know I am NOT the belle of the ball, and I can be one pathetic,
snotty bitch so I am the last person to throw stones, but you asked
the question.
The reason I very rarely read your posts or respond to your advice is
you have this tendency to passive-aggressively berate people should
they question your advice. As I said, a few other regular posters on
a.s.s. do the same and I don't read or respond to their posts either
-- as I am not in the mood to be harangued with a litany of questions.
Honestly, much of what you and the others write is very hard to
comprehend (at least for me -- call me dense). I am more into real
life examples, and plain talk. That is who I am.
Anyway, I assume most of my posts are also ignored here on a.s.s., as
I can guarantee you I am on lots of people's kill files. As for
ridicule, well, you know I have been ridiculed left and right here on
a.s.s., so you are not the only one who has been scoffed at.
Just my opinion, ignore it, ridicule it, it doesn't really matter -- I
am still going to have some fun in my life -- at least I am going to
try my damndest.
pug
pakih...@yahoo.ca
Attempted suicide is just a selfish cry for more attention.
pakih...@yahoo.ca
objective in life."
Survival and having children is the only possible objective. Happiness
is a myth.
Binkmeister
Wow! That was a long post! How many Co Co Wheats did you eat?
I agree 100%! The more that you search for "meaning" in life the more
miserable you will be. Look at all the shit that people are doing just
to feel some "meaning" in their lives. Kids have it right, they just
live,laugh and play. Of course, an adult would say that they are free to
do that because they don't have many responsibilities. But I often
wonder how many of these so called "adult" responsibilities are made up
just so "adults" can keep busy and fill their voids. Not saying that
life can always be a "laugh a minute" but it's good not to take it so
seriously. It really is funny, you know? Bunch of people floating around
in space on a spinning, blue rock! Hilarious! Maybe I'll get to shake
God's hand someday and say "Good one! You got me!"
[...and Pug, you KNOW that you are NOT an OLD HAG!]
BM
crfan
"pug" <blue_...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:b9e223dl21lco8hgm...@4ax.com...
that only twins can experience or at least that's what i read. Teen suicide
is a terrible thing in itself but seems that leaving a twin behind would
make it even worse. Have you any idea how your cousins twin is dealing with
the attempted suicide? How did your sister handle yours or was yours not
serious enough that it affected her?
Also, i think you right in your reply to SS. It's not so much the message
but how the message is delivered.
tom
Darkfalz
> cousin's daughter's daughter) attempted suicide.
Um, a suicide attempt is not a genuine attempt to end your life. Males
have the monopoly on ACTUAL suicide, for women it's just something
they use to get attention.
What a stupid cunt.
Darkfalz
Exactly.
ug...@hotmail.com
Fore-runners of new thoughts are never believed. It has to sit within
people for a while before they are comfortable with it, and willing to
explore the possibilities.
ImJustOne
when insomnia, depression, and my general sense of loneliness and being a
social outcast catch up with me.
I find that chatting with people makes me feel a lot better. Crossing the
bridge from casual conversation to a bond of friendship is something that
I've always had trouble with. But besides that, just little things like
meaningless chatter with another person, or even some attention from the
opposite sex really lifts my spirits. Today at work a woman walked in to
the break area and sat down next to me and spoke with me during our lunch
hour. I felt like a million bucks.
Sometimes you want an escape from the grind and pain of everyday life.
Suicide offers that. An escape, a release, a nice daydream to pass the day
sometimes, planning out the details of how you would off yourself. It's a
nice pastime of mine, but as far as actually going through with it, I just
never get around to it. I'm only 26, so I feel like I'm still young, even
though I haven't made much progress since high school. There is fear, of
course. Fear of the unknown, at least from my atheist point of view.
Uncertainty, in that maybe tomorrow brings something better, etc.
ug...@hotmail.com
> cousin's daughter's daughter) attempted suicide.
>
> I don't know this relative of mine...except my mom said she is "like
> me." Odd.
I have a cousin who was a bit like me who jumped in front of a train.
I have been thinking of my cousin a bit lately.
>
> She is 15 years old.
> She has is on anti-depressants.
Personally I think anti-depressants can make things worse (not that I
have tried them) as people think the drugs will make things better,
and they don't always do that. After all it is often not feelings
alone that are the problem, but real problems in life.
>
> She is a twin.
>
> She and her twin sister are described as "quiet."
>
> Both are thin and supposedly "anorexic."
>
> Both do not have boyfriends and prefer to talk to each other and not
> other people.
>
> In a nutshell, I guess one can say they are female "misfits" in the
> making.
>
> At 16 years old I had my first real suicidal thought -- I went down to
> the basement, grabbed a knife off my dad's workbench and crumpled to
> the floor sobbing, ready to slit my wrists.
>
> This relative of mine at 15, did something I never could do -- she
> went past the fear point of suicide and took an overdose of pills
> (they are still trying to determine the exact type).
>
> Her mother was in London at the time and rushed back home after having
> heard the news from family members. This girl is now in the hospital
> on a respirator where they are trying to repair the damage done to her
> kidneys. She came out of a coma yesterday. Her family has been at the
> hospital round the clock.
>
> Being I can never seem to shut off my brain, I thought about this girl
> and why she may have attempted suicide.
>
> I told my twin sis, if this girl pulls through, she should come talk
> to us about the whole misfit female twin *thing.*
I think you definitely should go and talk to her and her twin.
My sis laughed and
> said "Are you kidding, that would definitely push her over the edge!
> After talking to two forty year old twin losers, she will definitely
> want to kill herself!"
You found reasons to go on, and there will have been some things you
would have been glad to be there for.
> I laughed along with my twin, because in reality she was probably
> right. But perhaps this girl speaking with two older twins who have
> been through the whole "twin thing" can be somewhat comforting --
> perhaps even more so than just her taking anti-depression medication.
>
> I don't know why this relative of mine attempted suicide, I can only
> guess being a twin myself and also being labeled "quiet" growing up
> that she had gone beyond hope that her situation would ever improve.
> Perhaps she has problems in school with bullying (that was my major
> problem that lead me to suicidal thoughts). Perhaps, for a female
> misfit teenager, who is not part of the "in" crowd, or the
> "sisterhood" such social ostracism is a fate worse than death. But
> again, I don't really know why she took the pills.
You think being a twin would have heightened a sense of social
ostracism?
Some twins forge quite separate identities. You, know having someone
else to talk to who has been through the same thing could be very
helpful to her.
> When one is 15 or 16 years old and you are already to the point of
> suicidal thoughts, 5, 10, 15 years in the future is unimaginable. All
> you can think of is the "here and now" -- things will always stay the
> same and will never change or get better.
Young people often do not realise that they will get past this point
especially if it concerns someone they fall in love with who spurns
them. They tend to think that is the only time. Not that this is
necessarily her problem. Mind you while some things change, some
things take a hell of a long time to do so, and some don't at all.
I know in my own life, achieving the life goal of travelling overseas
made a big difference to me. Things suddenly seemed possible. If
that was, so are other things. Even though things still screwed up
badly in my life since then, I have been on average happier, and less
suicidal since.
>
> Don't many of us here on a.s.s. think the same way?
>
> I know many of us here have suicidal thoughts or have had them in the
> past. What makes us continue on living?
>
> For myself, I am too much of a wimp to actually take that final step
> of suicide. I am always afraid that I will do it wrong and end up in a
> coma or brain damaged -- both options are worse than death for me. So
> I continue to live and I have now made certified "hag" status. I guess
> that is something to be proud of. [grin]
I think for me it is 2 things. Firstly someone once told me I was the
sort of person that if I tried it I would succeed. That person is
probably right. That makes it a HUGE COMMITMENT for me. Never was
big on commitment. Secondly my biggest fear is failing. The
consequences of trying and failing is what bothers me most, as I fear
that rather than be looked after and helped, I would just get locked
away in an institution so no one would have to be bothered about me,
> To be honest, I have not had a suicidal thought since early January of
> this year. That says a lot for me!
>
> Will I ever have a suicidal thought again?
>
> Perhaps. Nothing is guaranteed in life.
>
> Do I want to continue to "feel" miserable and depressed the majority
> of what remaining time I have left?
>
> Hell no. I hate feeling miserable, I hate being depressed.
>
> So, I am taking it on myself to "get my shit together" and change
> myself from the inside out. Me. I'm doing it. I expect no help from
> anyone else, I expect no help from drugs. Only me and my spirituality
> (the dreaded "G" word).
>
> This past January when I had my last depressive fit, my ex sent me an
> email that made me think. It was a story about a monk who was working
> on being "the happiest man in the world." He was internally working on
> himself to be content and peaceful in whatever he did and however his
> life unfolded. My ex said, if one could internally "be happy"
> regardless of one's external situation in life (truly be happy and
> live happy, not just say they are happy and be miserable inside) ,
> then one has truly reached a higher point in human existence.
Good advice. Although not one I am ready for yet. I think it is
easier to give up what you have than it is stuff you have not yet
managed to acquire. The prospect of having to give up the hope of
being independent (esp financially) and not having to rely on others
is too much for me to be able to handle so far.
> OK, I'm not a monk. I am just pug, an American misfit female who
> probably only has a few years left (thank God!), who can't hold a job
> and spends way too much time on Usenet writing bullshit.
>
> But I determined after reading that article that there was always
> something missing in my life. And what was that? [drum roll please] --
> FUN.
>
> Yup. Fun.
Yeah, I accidentally came across a note written about me once, saying
that I didn't give the impression that I knew how to have fun. Not
strictly true, but it was something I had difficulty with. Sometimes
I wish that people I knew had invited me more to join in having fun,
but I suspect they thought I couldn't and didn't want me to spoil
their fun. I really could have done with it though. It would have
helped.
> I think too much, I belabor too much, I expect too much.
>
> Where is the fun in that?
>
> I understand there is a time to be serious, but my problem was I was
> making NO time to have fun. None. Little Miss Serious, that be me.
>
> Obviously, fun is what many of us here on a.s.s. are missing in our
> lives. We look to others to make our lives fun, instead of us just
> going out and making the fun on our own. Seriously.
I always enjoyed going to listen to live music. Sometimes all what I
would drink was water, but I did manage to enjoy it. Not knowing
anyone at the venues I went to when I first started going, I got over
my inhibition to dancing in public. Later I met some people at these
places.
> First step in finding fun in my humble opinion, is to stop worrying
> what others think about you. Let go of trying to please everyone and
> instead start to please yourself.
>
> Second step, start taking chances in your life. Do something you have
> always wanted to do. Go someplace you have always wanted to go.
Absolute good advice.
> Third step, laugh more. Seriously, laugh at yourself, laugh at the
> absurdity of life (life is absurd there is no doubt about that).
>
> Fourth step, realize you are the one living in your own skin, nobody
> else can do it for you. Why not start to enjoy your own skin and who
> you are as a person? Many call that confidence.
>
> Yeah, what I just wrote has been written thousands of times before by
> every self help guru on this planet, so what I say is nothing new.
>
> Yeah, I realize anxiety/shyness issues for many people here on a.s.s.
> are very, very difficult to overcome.
>
> However, such crippling issues CAN be overcome. Oh, most of us will
> never be extroverts or the life of the party.
Although people can be pretty amazed at how groovy you can be on just
water.
And most of us will
> never have a boat load of friends, or be "seduction artists."
Is it because we "can't" seduce, or just that we don't want to? As in
seducing people to take an interest in us means undergoing the
obligation of actually having to talk to them, keep them entertained
and pretend an interest in their lives, when maybe we are not
interested in some of the mundanities of other peoples' lives.
But we
> can be who we are, "misfits," and still have fun in our own way.
>
> OK, 'nuff said. That's pug's pep talk for the week. Now back to
> a.s.s.'s regularly scheduled program of "How to bag a hag without
> really trying." [grin]
>
> pug
>
> [It's the Co Co Wheats I tell you!]
Thanks for the pep talk. Interesting, and some of the responses.
pug
>Wow! That was a long post! How many Co Co Wheats did you eat?
Just a little bowl will do ya!
>I agree 100%! The more that you search for "meaning" in life the more
>miserable you will be. Look at all the shit that people are doing just
>to feel some "meaning" in their lives. Kids have it right, they just
>live,laugh and play.
Yes, there is something to be said for living, laughing and playing.
Unfortunately the way this world is set up, it is very difficult for
adults to live, laugh and play.
Wait a minute, diid I just hear someone say "drama?"
Yup, it seems to be all about drama and egos.
>Of course, an adult would say that they are free to
>do that because they don't have many responsibilities. But I often
>wonder how many of these so called "adult" responsibilities are made up
>just so "adults" can keep busy and fill their voids.
Put it there Bink! [pug giving her pathetic virtual high five]
Absolutely. The "stuff" adults do in modern societies (especially
America) most of it is just filling time until death. I guess one can
say -- what else is there to do?
I was watching this car commercial the other day and it kept going on
and on about how families are so busy. The commercial was conveying
that it was "cool" for mother June to be shuttling little Johnny to
soccer practice while little Susie was in the back seat of the
mini-van doing homework on her way to ballet classes, while father
Bill jumps out of the moving minivan because he is late for work.
Rush! Rush! Rush!
Where are we all rushing to? Death?
I guess one can come back and say, "well, little Johnny is having fun
at soccer, little Susie is having fun at ballet, daddy is having fun
at work, etc."
I don't buy that argument. Most of us do "stuff" because we are told
to do it and have to do it (ie: jobs), and/or we do it because other
people are doing it. Honestly, do we all really, really, really enjoy
what we do? I am guessing most of us are NOT having fun in our lives,
regardless of how much "stuff" we do to fill the void.
Getting back to commercials, there was one commercial late last year
that brought a smile to my face. It was a commercial for breakfast
sausage. It showed the father dressed up as the sun, making breakfast
for his family. The family rushes into the kitchen, mother, son,
daughter, like chickens with their heads cut off. The father starts to
put the egss and sausge on plates around the kitchen table and the
three headless chickens bemoan that they don't have time for breakfast
"They are too busy!"
The father raises his voice and stops them in their tracks and says
(I'm paraphrasing) "If I can get up every morning to warm and heat the
Earth [he is dressed as the sun remember] and make breakfast, you can
take the time to sit down and eat breakfast."
Anyway, it brought a smile to my face because 1) it showed a father as
the head of the household; 2) it showed the stupidity of the modern
family rushing around for no apparent reason; 3) it showed there is
more to life than doing "stuff" - sometimes just sitting down and
relaxing is fun.
>Not saying that
>life can always be a "laugh a minute" but it's good not to take it so
>seriously. It really is funny, you know? Bunch of people floating around
>in space on a spinning, blue rock! Hilarious! Maybe I'll get to shake
>God's hand someday and say "Good one! You got me!"
God may just shake it back and say "Thanks, finally someone 'got' it."
>[...and Pug, you KNOW that you are NOT an OLD HAG!]
Oh, come now, it has already been scientifically proven (did you not
read Sklenge's post?) that women reach certified hag status at 40.
Duh!
Anyway, everyone knows *that.* You are just deluding yourself with the
idea that there could be a 40 year old woman 'out there' who does not
have boobs down to her knees and an ass as wrinkled as a sun dried
raisin.
Hey Bink, get back to a.s.s. reality, will ya!
pug
ug...@hotmail.com
> My opinion is that your posts (along with a few others who post here
> on a.s.s., whose names I will keep to myself) come across as
> pretentious and snotty.
Ah, ok. That is probably me too, I guess. I ain't really... honest!
pug
>> My opinion is that your posts (along with a few others who post here
>> on a.s.s., whose names I will keep to myself) come across as
>> pretentious and snotty.
>
>Ah, ok. That is probably me too, I guess. I ain't really... honest!
Yeah, that is me too. I admit I can be a snotty, pretentious bitch at
times. The few others that I find to be snotty and pretentious here on
a.s.s., they find me to be the same, so we ignore each other.
Makes for a much "nicer" newsgroup. LOL!
pug
pug
>I've had a few suicidal thoughts in the past few months. Things get bad
>when insomnia, depression, and my general sense of loneliness and being a
>social outcast catch up with me.
Yup. Know what you mean. Insomnia and depression are hell for one's
mental and physical health (obviously). When I go into the deepest pit
of depression (when I have suicidal thoughts) I don't eat, I don't
exercise, basically I don't do anything except THINK and sleep too
much.
Of course while I am thinking and sleeping I am home alone in my
despair. And then I wonder why I get lonely? Probably because I am
home alone, thinking and sleeping. A viscous cycle that one has to
make a conscious effort to break in one way or another.
>I find that chatting with people makes me feel a lot better. Crossing the
>bridge from casual conversation to a bond of friendship is something that
>I've always had trouble with.
Me too. But I am working on "making friends." Or at least I am up for
the idea of having a few friends in my life. Of course I will have to
find people who "think" like me because any normal person isn't going
to want to spend time around me (which I completely understand).
>But besides that, just little things like
>meaningless chatter with another person, or even some attention from the
>opposite sex really lifts my spirits. Today at work a woman walked in to
>the break area and sat down next to me and spoke with me during our lunch
>hour. I felt like a million bucks.
That's cool. Yup, sometimes you just need some sort of human contact,
preferably in a nice way.
>Sometimes you want an escape from the grind and pain of everyday life.
>Suicide offers that. An escape, a release, a nice daydream to pass the day
>sometimes, planning out the details of how you would off yourself.
My pathetic suicide plan is to drive to the Adirondack mountains in
the dead of winter (preferably when it is below zero). Walk in, sit
down by a tree, and wait for the inevitable -- to freeze to death.
But knowing my luck, someone would find me when I was just at the
point of death and "save" me -- which would result in amputation of
various body parts from the cold, which would make my life even worse
than it is now (or at least I have deluded myself that my life is
crappy).
Yes, a pretty sad scenario as suicides go. And yet again, even with
suicide, I "think" too much which paralyzes me into inaction.
Here I am again thinking...what the hell is wrong with me? :-)
>It's a nice pastime of mine, but as far as actually going through with it, I just
>never get around to it. I'm only 26, so I feel like I'm still young, even
>though I haven't made much progress since high school. There is fear, of
>course. Fear of the unknown, at least from my atheist point of view.
>Uncertainty, in that maybe tomorrow brings something better, etc.
Yes the actual point of death is fearful for me, although over the
past few months, my fear of death has decreased. Is it because I
believe I will go to "heaven" now that I have found "God?"
Not really, because I am starting to have this "feeling" that most
humans are reincarnated (energy) so we don't go to some heavenly place
to walk among the clouds after we die.
I don't know, I am kind of ready to leave the "game." It won't be by
my own hand, as I am too much of a wimp for suicide, but if it is my
time to go tomorrow I won't beg and plead for my life.
As to the idea that tomorrow may bring something better -- that
statement on average is true. You are only 26 as you say, if you are
healthy you have lots of time for things to get better -- if -- and
only if - you are open to bettering your life.
I won't shove down your throat my whole "I found God" sermon that I
have done to a few people here on a.s.s., as you are an atheist and we
all have our own belief systems. Just to let you know, I was also an
atheist for a few years, and an agnostic for the past ten years. I
never thought in a million years I would specifically seek out "God."
But it happened to me nonetheless, and it has helped me tremendously
with my depression.
Anyway, take care, have confidence in who you are, look to yourself
for your happiness and in time [hopefully] things will get better for
you.
pug
[No Co Co Wheats this morning, have to lay low on the chocolate or I
will drive everyone on a.s.s. crazy with my bullshit philosophizing --
be gone witch! Back to alt.misanthropy with you!]
crfan
> Yes the actual point of death is fearful for me, although over the
> past few months, my fear of death has decreased. Is it because I
> believe I will go to "heaven" now that I have found "God?"
>
> Not really, because I am starting to have this "feeling" that most
> humans are reincarnated (energy) so we don't go to some heavenly place
> to walk among the clouds after we die.
>
Your faith tells you that it is appointed unto man to live just once. That
precludes any possibility of reincarnation Pug.
tom
Binkmeister
>> On Sat, 14 Apr 2007 23:17:55 GMT, Binkmeister <macchiat...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>> Wow! That was a long post! How many Co Co Wheats did you eat?
>
> Just a little bowl will do ya!
In the Mid-West they call them "Jesus Wheats". A little hit before
church and you be rollin' in the aisle! Hallllllllleeeeeluuuuuyahhhhhh!
>
>> I agree 100%! The more that you search for "meaning" in life the more
>> miserable you will be. Look at all the shit that people are doing just
>> to feel some "meaning" in their lives. Kids have it right, they just
>> live,laugh and play.
>
> Yes, there is something to be said for living, laughing and playing.
> Unfortunately the way this world is set up, it is very difficult for
> adults to live, laugh and play.
>
> Wait a minute, diid I just hear someone say "drama?"
>
> Yup, it seems to be all about drama and egos.
"Drama" is fun! Nothing like the sound of a key scraping across some
bitch's/bastard's car!
>
>> Of course, an adult would say that they are free to
>> do that because they don't have many responsibilities. But I often
>> wonder how many of these so called "adult" responsibilities are made up
>> just so "adults" can keep busy and fill their voids.
>
> Put it there Bink! [pug giving her pathetic virtual high five]
Hey! You spit in your hand first! Gross, Bitch!
>
> Absolutely. The "stuff" adults do in modern societies (especially
> America) most of it is just filling time until death. I guess one can
> say -- what else is there to do?
>
> I was watching this car commercial the other day and it kept going on
> and on about how families are so busy. The commercial was conveying
> that it was "cool" for mother June to be shuttling little Johnny to
> soccer practice while little Susie was in the back seat of the
> mini-van doing homework on her way to ballet classes, while father
> Bill jumps out of the moving minivan because he is late for work.
>
> Rush! Rush! Rush!
Doesn't that sound like fun?!?! I'm in the demographic that should be
able to relate to that commercial but, of course, my life is totally
opposite from that. >off to take nap with cat<
>
> Where are we all rushing to? Death?
No. McDonald's then Death. In that order. "I'll have one McHalo please."
"Grilled or extra-crispy?"
>
> I guess one can come back and say, "well, little Johnny is having fun
> at soccer, little Susie is having fun at ballet, daddy is having fun
> at work, etc."
>
> I don't buy that argument.
Me neither. I played in polluted sewer water as a kid and I ENJOYED it,
dammit! Seeing the neighbor's partially digested corn floating by made
me into a MAN! What's soccer do for you? Oh, it teaches you how to be a
team player. No thanks! It was just me and the leeches!
>Most of us do "stuff" because we are told
> to do it
Some people like to be told what to do!
>and have to do it (ie: jobs), and/or we do it because other
> people are doing it. Honestly, do we all really, really, really enjoy
> what we do? I am guessing most of us are NOT having fun in our lives,
> regardless of how much "stuff" we do to fill the void.
>
> Getting back to commercials, there was one commercial late last year
> that brought a smile to my face. It was a commercial for breakfast
> sausage. It showed the father dressed up as the sun, making breakfast
> for his family. The family rushes into the kitchen, mother, son,
> daughter, like chickens with their heads cut off. The father starts to
> put the egss and sausge on plates around the kitchen table and the
> three headless chickens bemoan that they don't have time for breakfast
> "They are too busy!"
>
> The father raises his voice and stops them in their tracks and says
> (I'm paraphrasing) "If I can get up every morning to warm and heat the
> Earth [he is dressed as the sun remember] and make breakfast, you can
> take the time to sit down and eat breakfast."
>
> Anyway, it brought a smile to my face because 1) it showed a father as
> the head of the household; 2) it showed the stupidity of the modern
> family rushing around for no apparent reason; 3) it showed there is
> more to life than doing "stuff" - sometimes just sitting down and
> relaxing is fun.
Yeah, I saw that one too. I remember thinking the same thing about the
dad yelling. It's a wonder that commercial go through the "feminized filter"
>
>> Not saying that
>> life can always be a "laugh a minute" but it's good not to take it so
>> seriously. It really is funny, you know? Bunch of people floating around
>> in space on a spinning, blue rock! Hilarious! Maybe I'll get to shake
>> God's hand someday and say "Good one! You got me!"
>
> God may just shake it back and say "Thanks, finally someone 'got' it."
>
LOL
>> [...and Pug, you KNOW that you are NOT an OLD HAG!]
>
> Oh, come now, it has already been scientifically proven (did you not
> read Sklenge's post?) that women reach certified hag status at 40.
>
> Duh!
I concede. [...And a man as well hung as I will not concede easily or
often!]
>
> Anyway, everyone knows *that.* You are just deluding yourself with the
> idea that there could be a 40 year old woman 'out there' who does not
> have boobs down to her knees and an ass as wrinkled as a sun dried
> raisin.
>
>SHUDDER<
> Hey Bink, get back to a.s.s. reality, will ya!
Yeah, you're right. I have to get back to thinking about smooth, 18
y/o's. I may end up paying her student loans and her cell phone bills
but that's the price of pussy. Right?
I guess her and her friends will think that this 35 y/o dude is pretty
cool when I'm buying them cigarettes and beer. Enough of that royal
treatment and she may let me go off in her mouth! Nah, women NEVER allow
that as we all know....
BM
pug
>In the Mid-West they call them "Jesus Wheats". A little hit before
>church and you be rollin' in the aisle! Hallllllllleeeeeluuuuuyahhhhhh!
The "Holy Rollers" have all the fun. Catholics, Muslims, Jews,
Wiccans, agnostics and atheists take note... :-)
>"Drama" is fun! Nothing like the sound of a key scraping across some
>bitch's/bastard's car!
As Joyce Meyer (Oh no! There pug goes again) likes to say "What about
me, what about me, what about me..."
>> I was watching this car commercial the other day and it kept going on
>> and on about how families are so busy. The commercial was conveying
>> that it was "cool" for mother June to be shuttling little Johnny to
>> soccer practice while little Susie was in the back seat of the
>> mini-van doing homework on her way to ballet classes, while father
>> Bill jumps out of the moving minivan because he is late for work.
>> Rush! Rush! Rush!
>Doesn't that sound like fun?!?!
NOT!
>I'm in the demographic that should be
>able to relate to that commercial but, of course, my life is totally
>opposite from that. >off to take nap with cat<
You are such a "looser." How are you going to get any pussy . . . wait
-- <scratch> that...
>> Where are we all rushing to? Death?
>No. McDonald's then Death. In that order. "I'll have one McHalo please."
>"Grilled or extra-crispy?"
Only in America. [sigh] We are fat, fat, fat. Good article below about
obesity in America (nope I don't go off on tangents):
http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20050502/rich-poor-gap-narrowing-in-obesity
>Me neither. I played in polluted sewer water as a kid and I ENJOYED it,
>dammit! Seeing the neighbor's partially digested corn floating by made
>me into a MAN! What's soccer do for you? Oh, it teaches you how to be a
>team player. No thanks! It was just me and the leeches!
Now I understand! You had me worried there for awhile, now I know it
was just the toxins and mercury you ingested that has made you who you
are.
>>Most of us do "stuff" because we are told
>> to do it
>Some people like to be told what to do!
Freaks.
>> The father raises his voice and stops them in their tracks and says
>> (I'm paraphrasing) "If I can get up every morning to warm and heat the
>> Earth [he is dressed as the sun remember] and make breakfast, you can
>> take the time to sit down and eat breakfast."
>> Anyway, it brought a smile to my face because 1) it showed a father as
>> the head of the household; 2) it showed the stupidity of the modern
>> family rushing around for no apparent reason; 3) it showed there is
>> more to life than doing "stuff" - sometimes just sitting down and
>> relaxing is fun.
>Yeah, I saw that one too. I remember thinking the same thing about the
>dad yelling. It's a wonder that commercial go through the "feminized filter"
I know, the first time I saw that commercial I was truly taken aback
when I heard the "sun dad" yell at his family. I was like "whoa...did
I just hear what I think I heard?"
Haven't seen that commercial in a while, maybe they pulled it because
it is "abusive" to women and children.
>>> [...and Pug, you KNOW that you are NOT an OLD HAG!]
>> Oh, come now, it has already been scientifically proven (did you not
>> read Sklenge's post?) that women reach certified hag status at 40.
>> Duh!
>I concede. [...And a man as well hung as I will not concede easily or
>often!]
What is that I hear? Kill files being locked and loaded left and
right.
>> Hey Bink, get back to a.s.s. reality, will ya!
>Yeah, you're right. I have to get back to thinking about smooth, 18
>y/o's. I may end up paying her student loans and her cell phone bills
>but that's the price of pussy. Right?
Fucking hell yeah! Small price to pay, don't you think?
>I guess her and her friends will think that this 35 y/o dude is pretty
>cool when I'm buying them cigarettes and beer.
That is so cool, seriously. I never thought of *that* angle with
regard to a.s.s. guys getting some teenage ass. I bet lots of teenage
girls (and guys) will go out with old geezers over the age of 30 if
you dangle your legal ID in front of their faces -- with the promise
of weekly beer runs.
>Enough of that royal
>treatment and she may let me go off in her mouth! Nah, women NEVER allow
>that as we all know....
Fucking hell yeah! Women aren't sluts.
pug
August Pamplona
>> Anyway, this past week a member of my extended family (my second
>> cousin's daughter's daughter) attempted suicide.
>>
>> I don't know this relative of mine...except my mom said she is "like
>> me." Odd.
>
> I have a cousin who was a bit like me who jumped in front of a train.
> I have been thinking of my cousin a bit lately.
>
>> She is 15 years old.
>
>> She has is on anti-depressants.
>
> Personally I think anti-depressants can make things worse (not that I
> have tried them) as people think the drugs will make things better,
> and they don't always do that. After all it is often not feelings
> alone that are the problem, but real problems in life.
Given one the results of one particular study published last
year, I think that a nice large, medically supervised dose of ketamine
(for immediate relief from depression) followed by a standard course of
antidepressants (for relief after a few weeks to pick up where the
ketamine effect might leave off) could be a winning combination. Of
course, I would guess that one could probably achieve something similar
with ECT* and antidepressants but the ketamine option sounds so much nicer.
[snip]
August Pamplona
* Or maybe trans cranial stimulation (the technique where they "zap"
parts of your brain you with a big electromagnet).
--
If you could prove religious beliefs with the scientific
method, it would be science.....and nobody would believe it.
- Stephen Colbert
a.a. # 1811 apatriot #20 Eater of smut
Proud member of the reality-based community.
The address in this message's 'From' field, in accordance with
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make sure that my e-mail address is not hot.
Solitary Soul
>>On Sat, 14 Apr 2007 16:24:36 -0500, Solitary Soul <solitarys...@ev1.net> wrote:
>
>>IOW: To maximize your happiness potential - which is the ultimate objective in life.
>
>>You once ridiculed me for that - and now you're making a "revelation"
>>that I've made several times before.
>
>Where did I ridicule you for that? (I don't have the energy to look up
>my pasts posts in Google, I'll let you do that - [grin])
>
>Anyway, of course I am now making a "revelation" that you have made
>many times before. So?
>
>As I said before, there have been thousands of self help gurus (and
>philosophers) who have said the same thing years before you and I
>ever made a pit stop on this planet.
>
>Does that make my "revelation" any less of a "revelation" for me?
It really shouldn't be that much of a "revelation" to you at all, as I made
that "revelation" to you in a response in July of last year:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
... and you (Pug) have yet to come up with an effective response to the query:
If the ultimate objective in life is not to make yourself as happy as possible,
then WHAT IS?
In the final sum of things, most "normal" people can't stand whiners,
and being around miserable people - who seem to take some sort of
masochistic pleasure out of being bitter and miserable. Most "normal"
people want to have FUN - not to be miserable. I realize that the misogynists
in this group do what they do partly as a ploy for sympathy, but it's hard
to have any sympathy for people who don't want to make a significant effort
to do what it takes to deal with their most significant problems.
IOW: If you want to be miserable, then be miserable, but don't expect for
anyone else to feed you the sympathy that you crave.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.shyness/msg/186db45d0366eeb6?hl=en
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Does that ring any bells?
>I don't want to split hairs here...as that eats into my fun. LOL!
Sometimes, I take some form of pleasure in splitting hairs - which goes to
show you how dull and boring I am.
>>Fifth step: try to find a social domain where you can perform socially
>>to your most optimal extent - a group where you could potentially fit in.
>
>Wait a minute aren't you saying what I always say?
>
>Find like-minded people to "hang" with?
I've been making that point for more than a year
("What if you came out of your shell. . . " - Sun, 12 Mar 2006):
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Bottom Line: Everyone needs to find their niche - find that
social/cultural domain where they can best fit in - adopting those
attributes that makes them a good fit - AS THEY ARE ABLE TO ADOPT THEM.
Dumb people get along very well with other dumb people, while nuclear physicists
prefer the company of other nuclear physicists.
The first step is to FIGURE OUT WHO THE HELL YOU ARE - and who it is
that you want to become - who you would LIKE to become - then figuring out
if you have the aptitude and personal resources to become that person
- then figure out just where exactly someone like that might be able to fit in
- and where exactly you would WANT to fit in.
... which of course is easier typed than done. <grin>
... but you have to start SOMEwhere.
For some people, this sort of thing comes naturally - they "just do it"
and it just happens for them - as they have the natural aptitude
- the innate talent to pull it off (lucky bastards). For guys like us,
we have to struggle just for a minimal achievement - and come to terms
with the possibility that there are some things that we are just not capable
of achieving - that is beyond our reach.
What can I say?
Life isn't fair - blame it on God.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.shyness/msg/e35110ff2cb372a4?hl=en
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>It doesn't matter who says what here on a.s.s. as long as some of the
>supposed "advice" helps others to change for the better (should they
>want to). I am too old to quibble about "who said what when." Been
>there, done that. Time to move on.
Fine - so why didn't you mention it within your list?
I was just pointing out the omission - as it seemed to be obvious enough to me
- as it's an important part of having "fun" for a lot of the guys in this group:
Being able to socialize to a significant extent.
>>Terrific.
>
>>Why is it that when I make posts like this I either get ridiculed or ignored?
>
>You want my honest opinion?
>
>My opinion is that your posts (along with a few others who post here
>on a.s.s., whose names I will keep to myself) come across as
>pretentious and snotty.
>
>Seriously. A big turn off for people looking for real advice, IMO.
>
>Now I know I am NOT the belle of the ball, and I can be one pathetic,
>snotty bitch so I am the last person to throw stones, but you asked
>the question.
I think there's some truth to that - but I don't see it that way - I don't
recognize it within myself.
I've always known that I have this tendency to be off-putting - known that
I'm not a very likeable person - and I never do that deliberately
- it's just something inherent within my nature.
In years past, this topic has come up before within this group, and Babs
(The Babaloughesian) suggested that I might have Aspergers - and I think
he might be correct with that assessment (as I acknowledged then) - as I seem
to fit a lot (if not all) of the symptoms. I've considered pursuing the option
of getting a psychiatric evaluation at some point to either confirm or refute
this hypothesis - and I probably will at some point.
>The reason I very rarely read your posts or respond to your advice is
>you have this tendency to passive-aggressively berate people should
>they question your advice. As I said, a few other regular posters on
>a.s.s. do the same and I don't read or respond to their posts either
>-- as I am not in the mood to be harangued with a litany of questions.
>Honestly, much of what you and the others write is very hard to
>comprehend (at least for me -- call me dense). I am more into real
>life examples, and plain talk. That is who I am.
>
>Anyway, I assume most of my posts are also ignored here on a.s.s., as
>I can guarantee you I am on lots of people's kill files. As for
>ridicule, well, you know I have been ridiculed left and right here on
>a.s.s., so you are not the only one who has been scoffed at.
>
>Just my opinion, ignore it, ridicule it, it doesn't really matter -- I
>am still going to have some fun in my life -- at least I am going to
>try my damndest.
Looks like a plan.
Hardpan
>Attempted suicide is just a selfish cry for more attention.
That is a common belief held amongst many humans that is only
sometimes true, IMO.
Men are simply more inventive and have have easier access to more
efficient implements of suicide, like guns, then most women when it
come to doing away with themselves, and so they achieve it more
often then do women.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what
will sell. "
-Confucius
pug
Hi Ron:
>I think all of us have contemplated suicide at some point in our
>lives. (Just a guess) When you don't fit into the world, you feel
>like an outcast and unless you come up with some sort of system to
>deal with that issue, you can despair which leads to thoughts like
>that. Then you come to the point where you decide to evaluate yourself
>and fix what's fixable, or give up.
Yup. You come to a point to either "do it [suicide]" or "fix it
[yourself]" or resign yourself to your miserableness.
>If you choose to fix things, you start with places in your life that
>will cause you to see yourself differently. For me, one place I
>decided to start with was ridding myself of the false walls of
>protection, which really weren't protecting me anyway. (facades)
>Walking carefully choosing judgment calls based on mindful reasoning
>instead of careless impulsive decisions. Over time, you learn to
>trust yourself and that compounds to the outside world around you.
For me I have stopped listening to the majority of people. I have
stopped listening to other people telling me what I am "supposed" to
do, how to live, what job to work, how much stuff I must have, etc.,
etc.
Bah...how depressing to live your life continually trying to gain the
approval of others, especially when you can never live up to other
people's requirements. Time to live up to only my requirement, what I
want, what I need.
>Fix the inside, and then the outside fixes itself. Just one of my
>many life systems I follow.
Indeed. 100% true.
>Self-esteem building begins with learning to protect yourself from
>emotional harm because in the beginning process, you are vulnerable.
Yes, I agree. For myself, I try to use humor, especially
self-deprecating humor, to protect myself from emotional harm. If I
can laugh at myself than most stuff that happens to me in my life
(especially stuff people do to me to cause me emotional harm) seem not
quite so bad.
>Withdrawing from the world in a hermit type of lifestyle is what I did
>- I drew borders around little parts of the world where I decided to
>trial and error things with and build systems for living based on the
>results of those trials/errors. Start small, little things you know
>you can succeed in and each time, try and expand a little.
Yes. I too prefer the hermit lifestyle (lived it for 4 years
2000-2004). Those were the years I returned to my artwork, creativity
that I had given up for ten years.
>A good analogy for this is the butterfly that only becomes what he is because
>of the cocoon stage - metamorphosis. Withdraw into yourself, learn
>things, fix things, empower yourself, and then turn that power on the
>world outside of the cocoon once you are ready.
I agree with empowering yourself, by yourself. No one else can give
you confidence, no one else can "make you feel good about yourself."
You have to do that on your own to truly become empowered as an
individual.
Many people believe if they just had that good job, or that girlfriend
or that house, they would feel more confident about themselves.
Perhaps for some people external "things" and other people can make
them feel confident and empowered, for me it runs deeper than having
things or someone in my life.
Granted it is nice to have things and people in your life, but again
what if those things or people go away? If your confidence depends
upon externals, you will be in for a devastating fall should your
externals disappear. Knowing life, nothing is guaranteed, especially
not a "good life and good wife" (as the saying goes).
>Emotionally, you contemplate what triggers the shame and despair -
>usually some part of the unresolved past needs to be looked over and
>it's entirely possible to face and fix those things without a
>therapist.
Yes. Therapy and medications IMO are pushed too much in our modern
society in order to fight against depression and other mental/social
issues. Us humans always want the easy way out, the "Magic pill."
>All it takes is self-honesty - which is a skill that you
>learn from practicing honesty in the outside world. (See above -
>removing facades)
Yes indeed. All the therapy in the world will not work if one is not
honest with one's self. I believe many people are not honest with
themselves because that would mean they would have to admit that they
are NOT who they want other people to believe them to be. Again,
continually seeking approval from others results many times in
dishonesty, which is not healthy for any individual trying to really
make positive changes in his/her life.
>You never are 'cured' - but you can learn to navigate a little better
>which is where I am in life. I have skills now I didn't have 10 years
>ago due to contemplation and practice. I live in a private setting,
>which is what I withdraw to each day after going out and about in
>society. Of late, I am becoming more involved in society and while
>I'm not comfortable with it, I've learned to focus on what's important
>to me and ignore the rest.
Hopefully someday I can find a way to get out among society once
again. I know internally I am not ready for *that,* which is another
reason I am still unemployed and not actively seeking employment. I
still have a lot of work to do on ME, before I can go back out into
the big, bad world and navigate among people.
>Good luck with your inner journey. As we talked about before, within
>each of us is a whole universe complete with answers that make sense.
>All people have to do is take the time to look.
Retreat, relax, don't worry, trust.
>As for the Nor'easter - we'll ride out the storm just fine. It'll be
>over before you know it and my hunch is it's not going to be that bad
>here. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Ahhh!! Woke up this morning from the cracking of tree limbs outside my
window. Three large tree branches snapped from the weight of the snow
and fell on our neighbor's car.
Joy.
Thankfully, the branches only grazed his car, knocking out his
headlight, as far as what I can tell looking at the damage. Just more
money and insurance crap to deal with this week.
Eight inches of heavy, heavy snow and counting...
Got to admit, I am mighty tired of winter. Before it is all said and
done these next three days, we will probably get socked with a foot of
heavy snow. I guess I can say goodbye to the crocuses this year.
How's the snow/rain where you are Ron?
Gotta love upstate NY weather. No wonder the housing prices are cheap
around here (the taxes are another story).
pug
RonW
We have over a foot of heavy wet snow. It took me 45 minutes to creep
off this hill this morning. Usually it takes 12 minutes to get to
work.
Normally this time of year I'm taking my 4 and 5 day weekends for my
state_lands excursions. At the rate were going, I'll be lucky to get
in there before June.
I put out the blue bird houses today - I felt guilty because they
should have been out weeks ago. You forget it's supposed to be spring
though when you have this kind of weather.
Yep, I'm tired of it.
RW