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"Proverbbusters" - Challenge these old saws! (granny sucks eggs)
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abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 12:33:56 AM1/5/12
to
alt.usage.english, alt.english.usage,
alt.religion.kibology,
alt.folklore.urban, alt.folklore.science,
alt.philosophy, comp.ai.philosophy alt.conspiracy, alt.anarchism,
sci.skeptic
As promised (to Harrison, my esteemed sock pu…I mean colleague) here
are the first fruits of my investigations into the veracity, the
integrity, the verisimilitude, of the proverbs. You are invited to
take part in the noble pursuit of scientific accuracy and undertake
your own research. As the predecessor of this program, Mythbusters,
found, after investigating three or four "myths" each episode for what
is now 9 years running, the definition of what is an "urban myth"
necessarily becomes very broad. To pre-empt this, we are broadening
the definition of "proverb" from the very outset so as to include:
adages, aphorisms, apophthegms, axioms, bywords, catch phrases,
dictums, epigrams, gnomes, maxims, morals, mottos, platitudes,
precepts, saws, and truisms. Let us not dally, for "he who hesitates
is lost" (or ARE they?...)
Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs (Implying: one's elders are
wiser than you think…)
As the average age of aue froupers is 76, and goes up one year with
each passing Christmas, many of we venerables will indeed remember
what "sucking eggs" entails. Our salad days were spent singing hymns
by the household harpsichord when were not lighting fuel stoves and
killing a vole for our dinner. Not tweeting and Facebooking the
vellieties of our facile existence as do now the myriad nancy boys of
both sexes all day long. No, my children, sucking eggs does not refer
to some kind of eggnog imbibed through a straw and fortified with gin
so that granny (aka "the fossil") will keep it down. It is a way of
removing the yolk from an egg while keeping the shell intact. This was
done by making a small hole on either end of an egg and sucking on one
hole to drain the yolk contents. Yes, eeerrrky peeerrrky…. And why
was this done? Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy depictions
and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did not…But I
digress.
There are now though, many grannies who do NOT know how to suck eggs.
Indeed, the idea that grannies all know how to do so is itself a
lexical skeuomorph, as is being discussed at this very moment in a
thread nestling cheek by jowl with this one:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/browse_thread/thread/0cd39e3918e6187e#
I got someone's nan and offered her $100 dollars to tell me if she
knew how to suck eggs. She did not. Then I taught her how to do it,
learning about it myself from the Junior Woodchuck Manual. I got my
money back coz the fine print said she owed me $100 for teaching her
new skills. I have a video to prove she can do it. It's not very
pretty, but it's going into Youtube for the record anyway. (Waiver of
all rights also in fine print...)
Proverb status: BUSTED!!
Myles (more real sooooon) Paulsen
alt.religion.kibology,
alt.folklore.urban, alt.folklore.science,
alt.philosophy, comp.ai.philosophy alt.conspiracy, alt.anarchism,
sci.skeptic
As promised (to Harrison, my esteemed sock pu…I mean colleague) here
are the first fruits of my investigations into the veracity, the
integrity, the verisimilitude, of the proverbs. You are invited to
take part in the noble pursuit of scientific accuracy and undertake
your own research. As the predecessor of this program, Mythbusters,
found, after investigating three or four "myths" each episode for what
is now 9 years running, the definition of what is an "urban myth"
necessarily becomes very broad. To pre-empt this, we are broadening
the definition of "proverb" from the very outset so as to include:
adages, aphorisms, apophthegms, axioms, bywords, catch phrases,
dictums, epigrams, gnomes, maxims, morals, mottos, platitudes,
precepts, saws, and truisms. Let us not dally, for "he who hesitates
is lost" (or ARE they?...)
Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs (Implying: one's elders are
wiser than you think…)
As the average age of aue froupers is 76, and goes up one year with
each passing Christmas, many of we venerables will indeed remember
what "sucking eggs" entails. Our salad days were spent singing hymns
by the household harpsichord when were not lighting fuel stoves and
killing a vole for our dinner. Not tweeting and Facebooking the
vellieties of our facile existence as do now the myriad nancy boys of
both sexes all day long. No, my children, sucking eggs does not refer
to some kind of eggnog imbibed through a straw and fortified with gin
so that granny (aka "the fossil") will keep it down. It is a way of
removing the yolk from an egg while keeping the shell intact. This was
done by making a small hole on either end of an egg and sucking on one
hole to drain the yolk contents. Yes, eeerrrky peeerrrky…. And why
was this done? Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy depictions
and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did not…But I
digress.
There are now though, many grannies who do NOT know how to suck eggs.
Indeed, the idea that grannies all know how to do so is itself a
lexical skeuomorph, as is being discussed at this very moment in a
thread nestling cheek by jowl with this one:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/browse_thread/thread/0cd39e3918e6187e#
I got someone's nan and offered her $100 dollars to tell me if she
knew how to suck eggs. She did not. Then I taught her how to do it,
learning about it myself from the Junior Woodchuck Manual. I got my
money back coz the fine print said she owed me $100 for teaching her
new skills. I have a video to prove she can do it. It's not very
pretty, but it's going into Youtube for the record anyway. (Waiver of
all rights also in fine print...)
Proverb status: BUSTED!!
Myles (more real sooooon) Paulsen
CDB
Jan 5, 2012, 9:24:54 AM1/5/12
to
abzorba wrote:
>
[manic intro]
>
Is that a common cry of disgust in Oz?
had a bowl you could crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow it out the other end.
Practice, practice.
> digress.
>
You female of species?
>
> [advert]
>
[manic intro]
>
> Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs (Implying: one's elders are
> wiser than you thinků)
> Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs (Implying: one's elders are
> As the average age of aue froupers is 76, and goes up one year with
> each passing Christmas,
>
I can't do math either. Bummer.
> each passing Christmas,
>
>
> many of we venerables will indeed remember
> what "sucking eggs" entails. Our salad days were spent singing hymns
> by the household harpsichord when were not lighting fuel stoves and
> killing a vole for our dinner. Not tweeting and Facebooking the
> vellieties of our facile existence as do now the myriad nancy boys
> of
> both sexes all day long. No, my children, sucking eggs does not
> refer
> to some kind of eggnog imbibed through a straw and fortified with
> gin
>
Eeerrrrky (provisional). Brandy, please.
> many of we venerables will indeed remember
> what "sucking eggs" entails. Our salad days were spent singing hymns
> by the household harpsichord when were not lighting fuel stoves and
> killing a vole for our dinner. Not tweeting and Facebooking the
> vellieties of our facile existence as do now the myriad nancy boys
> of
> both sexes all day long. No, my children, sucking eggs does not
> refer
> to some kind of eggnog imbibed through a straw and fortified with
> gin
>
>
> so that granny (aka "the fossil") will keep it down. It is a way of
> removing the yolk from an egg while keeping the shell intact. This
> was
> done by making a small hole on either end of an egg and sucking on
> one
> hole to drain the yolk contents. Yes, eeerrrky peeerrrkyů.
> so that granny (aka "the fossil") will keep it down. It is a way of
> removing the yolk from an egg while keeping the shell intact. This
> was
> done by making a small hole on either end of an egg and sucking on
> one
>
Is that a common cry of disgust in Oz?
>
> And why was this done?
>
Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg without a bowl. If you
> And why was this done?
>
had a bowl you could crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow it out the other end.
Practice, practice.
>
> Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
> used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
> you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy
> depictions
> and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did
> notůBut I
> Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
> used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
> you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy
> depictions
> and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did
> digress.
>
You female of species?
>
> [advert]
Mark Edwards
Jan 5, 2012, 3:36:49 PM1/5/12
to
abzorba wrote:
>> And why was this done?
>> And why was this done?
No cluons were harmed when "CDB" <belle...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg
> without a bowl. If you had a bowl you could
> crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
> and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow
> it out the other end.
From whence comes the exclamation, "Blow it out yer egg hole!"
> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg
> without a bowl. If you had a bowl you could
> crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
> and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow
> it out the other end.
Mark Edwards
--
Proof of sanity forged upon request
--
Proof of sanity forged upon request
Duggy
Jan 5, 2012, 4:09:11 PM1/5/12
to
On Jan 5, 3:33 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> alt.usage.english, alt.english.usage,
> alt.religion.kibology,
>
> alt.folklore.urban, alt.folklore.science,
> alt.philosophy, comp.ai.philosophy alt.conspiracy, alt.anarchism,
> sci.skeptic
>
> As promised
You like to break promises.
> alt.usage.english, alt.english.usage,
> alt.religion.kibology,
>
> alt.folklore.urban, alt.folklore.science,
> alt.philosophy, comp.ai.philosophy alt.conspiracy, alt.anarchism,
> sci.skeptic
>
> As promised
> As the average age of aue froupers
How many lies must you tell and promises break?
===
= DUG.
===
Glenn Knickerbocker
Jan 5, 2012, 6:21:02 PM1/5/12
to
On 1/5/2012 9:24 AM, CDB wrote:
> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg without a bowl.
I always figured it was more a neat way of *stealing* eggs in such a way
> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg without a bowl.
as to be long gone before it's detected. I've never stumbled on any
description to back that up, though. Usually saying that someone "would
suck eggs" is to compare him to dogs or vermin that just steal them
outright.
ŹR
abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 8:11:29 PM1/5/12
to
On Jan 6, 8:09 am, Duggy <Paul.Dug...@jcu.edu.au> wrote:
> On Jan 5, 3:33 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> > As promised
>
> You like to break promises.
>
> > As the average age of aue froupers
>
> Didn't you promise to stop using that word?
>
I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> On Jan 5, 3:33 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> > As promised
>
> You like to break promises.
>
> > As the average age of aue froupers
>
> Didn't you promise to stop using that word?
>
to accept my olive branch. They did not, and so I am not obliged by
law or honour to cease, refrain from, nor even desist or stop using
that word.
YOu will now immediately object that as I admit that aue did NOT
accept my olive branch, I should then take up my end of the bargain
and keep my promise not to post into this group. But Duggy, you forget
one thing. My promise to leave was a condition which was contingent on
the group accepting the olive branch. Thus if they did not accept my
peace offer, then there was NO need for me to leave. Otoh, if they did
accept it, I would not have to leave by virtue of the deal.
You have no acquaintance with law, my bogan countryman.
Myles (Legally binding docos written in non-legalese a specialty)
Paulsen
abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 8:21:01 PM1/5/12
to
On Jan 6, 1:24 am, "CDB" <bellema...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
Myles (Note in diary: To do: chat with CDB re: birds, bees) Paulsen
> abzorba wrote:
> > Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
> > used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
> > you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy
> > depictions
> > and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did
> > not…But I
> > Because the shells could then be painted or otherwise
> > used as decorations for such festivals as Easter. Wot, you say, did
> > you not have 2 million plastic eggs covered with Astro boy
> > depictions
> > and manga versions of the Easter Bunny? No my child, we did
> > digress.
>
> You female of species?
Who the hell are you: Tarzan?
>
> You female of species?
Myles (Note in diary: To do: chat with CDB re: birds, bees) Paulsen
abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 8:55:36 PM1/5/12
to
> > Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs (Implying: one's elders are
> > wiser than you think…)
> > As the average age of aue froupers is 76, and goes up one year with
> > each passing Christmas,
>
> I can't do math either. Bummer.
Bzzt! If you can't do maths (Aussies have maths and sport where the
> > each passing Christmas,
>
> I can't do math either. Bummer.
Yanks have math and sports) then you are not in a position to object
to MY math.
Moreover you should realize that the aue old hats, in what passes for
passion in the dessiccated dust that blows like tumbleweed thru their
veins, have engineered the acceptance of new members so that the
average age of froupers always stays the same, reasoning that it is
only at 76 that a man becomes fully mature.
Myles (Sent to Coventry, but hell I like it here! What's wrong with
Coventry? Doesn't the Council there make formal objections to the name
of their belle burg being consistently used a synonym for "leper
colony") Paulsen
abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 9:11:40 PM1/5/12
to
On Jan 6, 7:36 am, Mark Edwards <Mark-Edwa...@tx.rr.com> wrote:
> abzorba wrote:
> >> And why was this done?
>
> abzorba wrote:
> >> And why was this done?
>
> No cluons were harmed when "CDB" <bellema...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
> > Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg
> > without a bowl. If you had a bowl you could
> > crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
> > and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow
> > it out the other end.
>
> From whence comes the exclamation, "Blow it out yer egg hole!"
>
I am not familiar with this exclamation as a euphemism where "egg"
>
> > Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg
> > without a bowl. If you had a bowl you could
> > crack the egg into it. If you wanted the shell
> > and didn't want to eat the egg, you could blow
> > it out the other end.
>
> From whence comes the exclamation, "Blow it out yer egg hole!"
>
substitutes for "arse". But here are some ultra cute piccies of kids
"blowing it out their eggs holes".
http://birchleafdesigns.blogspot.com/2011/04/blow-it-out-your-egg-hole.html
Note that this MUST be an American site because of the following
expression which begins the piece: "The children were inspired to blow
out eggs and paint them all pretty." Does anyone else use "all
pretty"? How about "purty"? Although the painted eggs do look so
pretty they almost vindicate the essentially sacrilegious practice of
conflating estrus and Easter.
Note that the children are indeed BLOWING and NOT sucking the yolk out
of their eggs! This raises the question: What is the most efficient
way to perform this task? I imagine that the force of suction is
superior to force of expulsion, and that the children are only blowing
coz modern obsessions with occupational health and safety have banned
raw yolk liquid being in their mouths. It is precisely this kind of
attempt to sterilize life that leads to the modern avalanche of auto-
immune disorders such as asthma in children.
Myles (Yeah, OHS advocates motorized leaf sweepers coz using a broom
could break a council worker's back. It will be true soon: "arms that
can only lift a spoon") Paulsen
abzorba
Jan 5, 2012, 9:19:09 PM1/5/12
to
Forgot to mention that an important reason for sucking eggs was to
prepare them for collections. Collecting birds eggs was a common
avocation in my childhood. (Although I should say my teacher told me
that HE has "avocations", his assistant has "hobbies", what I am doing
is "mucking about with..." The 19th Century and the 20th to about
1965 was a time for collecting enthusiasm for "natural philosophers".
Collecting eggs is now very politically incorrect.
Myles (Not that I am the most PC of metrosexuals) Paulsen
Duggy
Jan 6, 2012, 2:02:42 AM1/6/12
to
On Jan 6, 11:11 am, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> to accept my olive branch.
By the rules of counting you set up they did.
> I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> to accept my olive branch.
I knew it was all a lie.
> You have no acquaintance with law, my bogan countryman.
friend.
===
= DUG.
===
CDB
Jan 6, 2012, 7:30:58 AM1/6/12
to
the ways of diggers and their mates. Oh wait, you do that already.
Adam Funk
Jan 6, 2012, 9:03:54 AM1/6/12
to
On 2012-01-06, abzorba wrote:
> On Jan 6, 8:09 am, Duggy <Paul.Dug...@jcu.edu.au> wrote:
>> On Jan 5, 3:33 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> > As promised
>>
>> You like to break promises.
>>
>> > As the average age of aue froupers
>>
>> Didn't you promise to stop using that word?
>>
> I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> to accept my olive branch. They did not, and so I am not obliged by
> law or honour to cease, refrain from, nor even desist or stop using
> that word.
I don't recall getting a ballot.
> On Jan 6, 8:09 am, Duggy <Paul.Dug...@jcu.edu.au> wrote:
>> On Jan 5, 3:33 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> > As promised
>>
>> You like to break promises.
>>
>> > As the average age of aue froupers
>>
>> Didn't you promise to stop using that word?
>>
> I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> to accept my olive branch. They did not, and so I am not obliged by
> law or honour to cease, refrain from, nor even desist or stop using
> that word.
--
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet and in e-mail?
Lon
Jan 7, 2012, 2:14:18 PM1/7/12
to
particularly those canine individuals of poor hygiene.
Les Cargill
Jan 7, 2012, 2:27:12 PM1/7/12
to
--
Les Cargill
M Purcell
Jan 7, 2012, 4:18:37 PM1/7/12
to
"profession".
Lon
Jan 7, 2012, 5:54:27 PM1/7/12
to
On 1/7/2012 14:18, M Purcell wrote:
> On Jan 5, 6:19 pm, abzorba<myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> On Jan 6, 10:21 am, Glenn Knickerbocker<N...@bestweb.net> wrote:
>>
>>> On 1/5/2012 9:24 AM, CDB wrote:
>>
>>>> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg without a bowl.
>>
>>> I always figured it was more a neat way of *stealing* eggs in such a way
>>> as to be long gone before it's detected. I've never stumbled on any
>>> description to back that up, though. Usually saying that someone "would
>>> suck eggs" is to compare him to dogs or vermin that just steal them
>>> outright.
>>
>>> ŹR
> On Jan 5, 6:19 pm, abzorba<myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> On Jan 6, 10:21 am, Glenn Knickerbocker<N...@bestweb.net> wrote:
>>
>>> On 1/5/2012 9:24 AM, CDB wrote:
>>
>>>> Because it's a neat way of eating a raw egg without a bowl.
>>
>>> I always figured it was more a neat way of *stealing* eggs in such a way
>>> as to be long gone before it's detected. I've never stumbled on any
>>> description to back that up, though. Usually saying that someone "would
>>> suck eggs" is to compare him to dogs or vermin that just steal them
>>> outright.
>>
>>
>> Forgot to mention that an important reason for sucking eggs was to
>> prepare them for collections. Collecting birds eggs was a common
>> avocation in my childhood. (Although I should say my teacher told me
>> that HE has "avocations", his assistant has "hobbies", what I am doing
>> is "mucking about with..." The 19th Century and the 20th to about
>> 1965 was a time for collecting enthusiasm for "natural philosophers".
>> Collecting eggs is now very politically incorrect.
>>
>> Myles (Not that I am the most PC of metrosexuals) Paulsen
>
> Now days more grandmas seem to be wearing combat boots, it's a
> "profession".
Watch out when they start wearing a bathtub.
>> Forgot to mention that an important reason for sucking eggs was to
>> prepare them for collections. Collecting birds eggs was a common
>> avocation in my childhood. (Although I should say my teacher told me
>> that HE has "avocations", his assistant has "hobbies", what I am doing
>> is "mucking about with..." The 19th Century and the 20th to about
>> 1965 was a time for collecting enthusiasm for "natural philosophers".
>> Collecting eggs is now very politically incorrect.
>>
>> Myles (Not that I am the most PC of metrosexuals) Paulsen
>
> Now days more grandmas seem to be wearing combat boots, it's a
> "profession".
Duggy
Jan 7, 2012, 7:13:09 PM1/7/12
to
On Jan 6, 11:11 am, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> I promised to stop using "froupers" IF and only IF aue members voted
> to accept my olive branch. They did not, and so I am not obliged by
> law or honour to cease, refrain from, nor even desist or stop using
> that word.
"10 If I do not receive 20 such replies within a week from this
> to accept my olive branch. They did not, and so I am not obliged by
> law or honour to cease, refrain from, nor even desist or stop using
> that word.
posting, then I will I will hie me thither into self-imposed exile,
and never post here again"
I knew you were a liar.
> Thus if they did not accept my
> peace offer, then there was NO need for me to leave.
===
= DUG.
===
abzorba
Jan 8, 2012, 10:01:20 PM1/8/12
to
"broken promises" by some people, but only when it suits them.
Let us grant for the moment that I "lied" and that I "broke a
promise". Now, was I asking for your vote at an election? Was I trying
to sell you shares in a company? Was I telling you that I would look
after your wife and kids? No, I most certainly was not.
I was posting humorous shit to a newsfroup (yes froup froup froup and
then some). It's nothing. It's a game. No one wins, loses money. We
just waste time, and have some fun. So why are you giving me the
ultimate bourgeois Jimminy Cricket accusation that I (gasp!) lied and
(horror!) broke promises. Are you trying to tell me that you are such
a Sunday School ace that you quite literally cannot abide some
fibette, even when it is introduced in frivolous play? That you
recommed that my material not be considered coz I have shown myself to
be morally corrupt, and thus untrustworthy?
Do have a little thinkette on these matters. I am so sick of people
accusing politicians of lying, but only when the politician is of a
party which they oppose, and completely ignoring the most massive
porkies when produced by those of a party they support. Get real. And
try reading a book, sometimes. You know, it's like a comic but it has
harder covers and fewer piccies.
Myles (may not be perfect, but then if I was, would I be posting stuff
here?) Paulsen
Duggy
Jan 9, 2012, 12:11:44 AM1/9/12
to
On Jan 9, 1:01 pm, abzorba <myles...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> Let us grant for the moment that I "lied" and that I "broke a
> promise".
OK.
> Let us grant for the moment that I "lied" and that I "broke a
> promise".
===
= DUG.
===
ala
Jan 15, 2012, 2:17:06 PM1/15/12
to
"abzorba" <myle...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:14c067ae-e277-4908...@q11g2000vbq.googlegroups.com...
>Collecting eggs is now very politically incorrect.
especially them faberge thingamabobs
ala
Jan 15, 2012, 2:58:04 PM1/15/12
to
"Lon" <lon.s...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:68qdnZ2Ae9YYBJXS...@giganews.com...
be destroyed because he would have endangered the food store for people.
I understood sucking to be some local rural usage for stealing.
>
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