newsgroup fa, net, etc.
arpavax:mark
To: ucbvax^mark
Subject: newsgroup fa, net, etc.
Won't we need to change the .ngfile also? Also is ALL an acceptable newsgroup
on the left side of the dot such that ALL.ALL will catch everything?
Rusty is right (or is that "Rusty is Wright"?) - we have ALL in our .ngfile
so I tend to forget this. ALL.ALL may or may not work, but ALL certainly does.
Mark
I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible happens.
sam...@msn.com
~Mark
Benjamin
Archive I has a very big changes of being the oldest one in archived in
the world.
daniel...@gmail.com
because we're still pecking out our little newsgroup messages all over
the world 24 years later.
pbsof...@yahoo.com
btw these new 300baud modems are lightening fast, huh?
But you need 256kb of system ram to use them, my box only has
128kb, darn.
Chad Devine
it up with a tons of text files later! Woohoo!
gene...@gmail.com
floy...@gmail.com
jbs...@gmail.com
happens.
To late.
kid...@gmail.com
nber...@gmail.com
post cached in google.
simon.b...@gmail.com
Does this make me the first replyer ever?
Simon Bouchard
http://www.latitudezero.org
logi...@yahoo.com
ezio.fe...@gmail.com
Sorry for the long time to reply...
Put ALL.ALL.ALL in the .ngfile and the dog can get in.
Best Regards
Me
donavo...@gmail.com
brian...@gmail.com
Yes, the .ngfile needs to be fixed and maybe we should use .net instead
of .ALL, talk to the guys and let me know what you think.
By the way, my friggin 8-track just went out in my pinto so i think i'm
going to pick me up one of those new Casset Tape decks. Those things
are outta sight, I hear Rick James has one! He's my hero, anyway get
back to me soon on that other stuff.
Brian
robert.c...@verizon.net
I agree.
Rob Carroll
mota...@gmail.com
has been.........
Antonio Varni
to create alt.binaries.* anyway?
Ramiro.Castro
Ups, that's really an old thread, isn't it?
Mahfrot
jh...@columbus.rr.com
Well, here it is over 23 years later, and I am still looking for that
change, Mark. :)
Jingo.
Drew B.
http://communication.ucsd.edu/bjones/Usenet.Hist/Nethist/0061.html
The earliest post at that site is from May 27, 1980
Lots of other ancient stuff on there too...
Drew
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hope I didn't do that!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
rela...@postmaster.co.uk
K.O.N.
hey this was written a month before i was born!!
Tim Bruening
mark wrote:
- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
> From sdcarl!rusty Mon May 11 09:00:58 1981
> To: ucbvax^mark
> Subject: newsgroup fa, net, etc.
> Won't we need to change the .ngfile also? Also is ALL an
acceptable
newsgroup
> on the left side of the dot such that ALL.ALL will catch
everything?
> Rusty is right (or is that "Rusty is Wright"?) - we have ALL in our
.ngfile
> so I tend to forget this. ALL.ALL may or may not work, but ALL
certainly does.
> Mark
> I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible
happens.
Well, here it is over 23 years later, and I am still looking for that
change, Mark. :)
How shall we celebrate the 24th anniversary of this post?
Tim Bruening
> I wonder if something horrible happened.
Yes: The U.S. getting bogged down in Lebanon, Somalia, and Iraq;
Israel getting bogged down in Lebanon, the
Soviet shootdown of a Korean airplane, the Chernobyl accident, the
Challenger accident, the Iran/Contra scandal,
Saddam's chemical warfare against Kurds and Iranians, the Soviet Coup,
the Waco fisaco, the Oklahoma Federal
Building bombing, the bombings of two U.S. Embassies in Africa, the
U.S. bombing Afghanistan, the Sudan, Iraq,
and Bosnia, the Florida election meltdown, the 9/11 terrorist attacks,
the subsequent wars in Afghanistan and Iraq,
terrorist attacks all over the world, and the December 26th tsunami.
Tim Bruening
> Just thought I would get in on history and reply to the first
newsgroup
> post cached in google.
> mark wrote:
>> From sdcarl!rusty Mon May 11 09:00:58 1981
> > To: ucbvax^mark
> > Subject: newsgroup fa, net, etc.
> > Won't we need to change the .ngfile also? Also is ALL an
> > acceptable
> > newsgroup
> > on the left side of the dot such that ALL.ALL will catch
everything?
> > Rusty is right (or is that "Rusty is Wright"?) - we have ALL in our
> > .ngfile
> > so I tend to forget this. ALL.ALL may or may not work, but ALL
> > certainly does.
> Mark
> > I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible
happens
I've tried to reply to that post in the past, but Google doesn't appear
to have counted i
Tim Bruening
> To: ucbvax^mark
> Subject: newsgroup fa, net, etc.
> Won't we need to change the .ngfile also? Also is ALL an
acceptable
newsgroup
> on the left side of the dot such that ALL.ALL will catch
everything?
> Rusty is right (or is that "Rusty is Wright"?) - we have ALL in our
.ngfile
> so I tend to forget this. ALL.ALL may or may not work, but ALL
certainly does.
> Mark
> I plan to make the change on Tuesday unless something horrible
happens
Rusty: Iron oxide tea.
In the newsgroup "ALL", is everything on topic
Tim Bruening
Rusty: Iron oxide tea.
In the newsgroup "ALL", is everything on topic?
What is an fa group anyway?
Mit
Flapping: Flying bell.
Sleeping: Bell doing the Zs.
Starting: Astronomical bell.
Starting: Acting bell.
Starting: Beginning bell.
Hyping: Bell up above.
Hyping: Exaggerated bell.
Averting: Bell that prevents trouble.
Mit
Ranting: A bell diatribe.
Questing: Bell on a mission.
Resting: Bell remaining still.
Fasting: Speedy bell.
Fasting: Bell during Ramadan.
Tim Bruening
Concave: Against spelunking.
Content: Against camping.
Contrail: Against hiking.
Contour: Against French bicycle races.
Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
Protect: Favoring innovation.
Educe: Mussolini on the Internet.
Tim Bruening
Slicing: Singing butcher knife.
Stirring: Ring that rotates.
Macing: Singing in the 5th month of the year.
Macy: Ocean in the 5th month of the year.
Tim Bruening
Remus wrote:
"Raphael Kearns" <rap...@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:cp84rr$mg6$1...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> >>Apocalyse, Horsemen of -- 4
> >>Reaper, Grim -- 7
> >>Dwarves, Seven -- I0 - I0 - I0 I0 I0
> >>Anorexia clinic -- 1
> >>Slimming Club -- 8
> >>Tom, Peeping -- 0 0
> > Bin Laden, Osama - - - 141
> NASA - - - 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
> Rogers, Ted - - -321
> Dahmer, Jeffrey - - - 189
Pot, Society to Legalise -- #
Fame Academy --- *
The Ritz -- *****
1980 U.S. Olympic Ice Hockey Team: Number 1
Tim Bruening
Glister: Shining spinning object.
Semester: Spinning part of a school year.
Slyvester: Spinning cartoon cat.
Sister: Spinning sibling.
Tester: Spinning exam.
Twister: Spinning storm.
Vaster: Large spinning object.
Vester: Spinning clothes.
Wester: Opposite of Easter.
Yeaster: Spinning bacteria.
Tim Bruening
Assuming: Chinese vase that jumps to conclusions.
Becoming: Vase that stimulates bees.
Humming: Vase that doesn't know the words.
Looming: An approaching vase.
Roaming: Wandering vase.
Summing: Vase that does math.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Bester: Spinning SF writer.
Bester: Spinning Psi Cop on Babylon 5.
Vaccuming: Vase that sucks.
Zooming: Fast moving Chinese vase.
Zooming: Vase with lots of animals inside.
Tim Bruening
Alarming: Chinese vase that alerts the guards.
Balming: Round Chinese vase.
Blaming: Accusative vase.
Booming: Loud vase.
Bumming: Unkempt vase.
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Rooming: Vase for a genie.
Warming: Aggressive vase.
Warming: Hot vase.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40444967...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Spanker: Corporal punishment dog.
> >
> > Tracker: Racing dog.
> >
> > Wicker: Basket dog.
>
> Knicker: Kleptomaniac dog.
Knickers: New York basketball dogs.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Ramsey: An ocean of male sheep
>
> Stagnation: Country of male deer.
>
> Mareination: Country of female horses.
Rumsey: Ocean of drunk Indians.
Cache Creek: River of Indian casinos.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4046C5FF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4041E4F5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > I don't look forward to swimming in a Liverpool.
> > >
> > > I'm quite symp-hepatic to that idea.
> > > >
> > > > I think that our nation is losing its Seoul in the fight
against
> > > > terrorism.
> > >
> > > IRAte that a rather pessimistic pun.
> >
> > Irate: Internet price.
> >
> Ireland: Nation of angry people.
Berate: Price of angry bee
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4046C565...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4041E326...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Therapy: A pea you eat to feel better.
> > > >
> > > > You are a grape human bean.
> > >
> > > A nabsulute bounder got a girl drunk on wine once and then had
his
> wicked
> > > way with her. She later went to the police station and reported
that
> she'd
> > > been graped!
> >
> > Wicker: Dog on food stamps.
> >
> > Wicker: Evil dog.
> >
> Wicker Man: Edward Woodward wouldn't!
Whisker: Long thin dog.
Whisper: Price of small light remnant
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4046D632...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Affirming: Hairy vase.
>
> Beaming: Vase full of apines.
>
> Charming: Vase that does the housework or makes the tea in a factory.
>
> Deeming: Vase containing the ashes of a character from "Neighbours"
who
> drowned because the car wasn't waterproof!
>
> Fuming: Not many vases left.
>
> Disclaiming: Vase made of something else.
>
> Exhuming: Vase that used to belong to Hubert.
>
> Foaming: Vase containing one's enemy's ashes!
Forming: In favor of Chinese vases.
Formings: 4 vases.
Former: In favor of oceans.
Formers: 4 oceans
Tim Bruening
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4046CA65...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Pincing: crab song
> >
> > Wincing: Victory song.
> >
> Sea Shanty: Song sung by very obstinate sailors!
Booby: Buzzing insect that bombs.
Booby: Ghost bee.
Tim Bruening
Behold: Storage area of a bee ship.
Behold: Bee that sees the light.
Believe: Bee with religion.
Beneath: Bee underground.
Bereave: Bee in mourning.
Beseech: Begging bee.
Beset: Bees in trouble.
Besiege: Bees attacking a city.
Beside: Bee that's next to.
Bestir: Spinning buzzing insect.
Between: Bee with two bees to either side.
Bewail: Screaming bee.
Bewhale: Very large bee in the sea.
Bewilder: Confused bee.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
>
> Forerunner: In favor of fast moving people.
Foreman: In favor of humanity.
Conman: Against humanity.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Reduce: The tennis game is tied again.
Reduce: Mussolini is back in power.
Subtract: A train underwater.
Duction: The process of becoming a duck.
Conduct: Against ducks.
Conduction: Against becoming a duck.
Reduction: To become a duck again.
Subtraction: How a sub pushes off against the ground.
Duct Tape: Used to tape together broken ducks.
Duct Tape: Recording of duck calls.
Tim Bruening
Submit: What the relief pitcher wears.
Submit: Mermaid's glove.
Mermaid: Underwater domestic worker.
Submission: The church SUBWAY sandwich shop employees belong to.
Mitten: What the tin man's baseball glove is made of.
Commission: What they call the mission of Viagra. If that mission
succeeds, we get an emission.
Emission: Another church on the Internet.
Porpoise: bad muscular co-ordination or bad manners and/or social
graces.
Prince of Wales: Very large, aquatic footprints.
Tim Bruening
Admission: Religious advertising.
Admit: Put on a glove.
Bar Mitzvah: Jewish glove coming of age.
Commission: A church on the Internet.
Commit: A command to a glove to approach you.
Emission: A dirty church.
Emit: Dirty glove.
Hermit: Female glove.
Kermit: Green hopping glove.
Kissmit: Glove in love.
Mitten: The 10th glove.
Mitigate: Gloves on an entryway.
Mitterand: French glove bought with South African currency.
Omission: Delete the church.
Omit: Delete the glove.
Permission: Price of a church.
Permit: Price of a glove.
Remission: To go to church again.
Remit: Put on the glove again.
Submission: Mermaid church.
Submit: A very wet glove.
Testament: Try out the glove before you buy it.
Transmission: Transgender church.
Transmit: Transgender glove
Tim Bruening
Adverse: A hostile song.
Adversity: A hostile city.
Converse: Singing criminal(s).
Reverse: To sing again.
Attract: What a train runs on.
Contract: Criminal railroad.
Retract: To go on the train again.
Subtract: What subway trains run on.
Subtract: A train underwater.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Said while mining for graphite: "Oy. we've found a very good
Pennsylvania!"
>
> He put it that way because he was from Michigan, and was therefore a
> Michiganner!
Graphite: Warring drawings.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41B4C32C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Looping: Toilet bell.
> >
> > Looting: A toilet bell that steals.
> >
> > Lupine: A toilet tree.
> >
> > Lupine: A wolf tree.
>
> Supine: A stew tree lying down lying face upwards.
>
> Atropine: A tree having a fully-dilated eye examination. (^!^) Very
> uncomfortable indeed!
>
> Cryptopine: An encoded tree.
>
> Gnoscopine: A tree possessing intellectual or esoteric knowledge of
> spiritual things.
What's a stew tree? Does meat in pots grow on it?
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
>
> A: because it has a shore throat.
Floozy: Ocean with a cold.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41539306...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41521D83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:414F555A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > On Sat, 17 Apr 2004 05:44:10 +0100, Dougal
> > > > > > > <nomoreamusingfa...@atj.pl> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >On Fri, 16 Apr 2004 21:39:19 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> > > > > > > ><Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >>>>>>>So what do you put your large breasts down
pygthur?
> Beer?
> > > > > Chocolate?
> > > > > > > >>>>>>>Posting pygthur Usenet?
> > > > > > > >>>>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>>>The Miracle Bra.
> > > > > > > >>>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>>What size of bra?
> > > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > > >>>>Two cups.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>>D-lightful.
> > > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > >>C-ertainly.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >B-have yourself.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A-lmost never.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Z-estfully clean!
> > > > >
> > > > > X-trawled in Harry!
> > > >
> > > > W-ow!
> > > >
> > > V-Henna - a city where a reddish brown hair dye is manufactured.
> >
> > U-nite for world peace!
> >
> I am U-Nanny-Mouse with you in that.
>
> (Cross between a female sheep, a female goat and a small rodent!)
Rodent: Tooth healer on a boat
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
> Many people assume that Earl Gray tea got its name by being
> the favorite of that English earl. However, it seems that
> there is a small town in Wales named Earl Gray where the
> town's citizens are getting concerned about the ability of
> their mayor to continue in office. The incumbent was init-
> ially elected in 1972 and she has run unopposed in every
> election since. Unfortunately, her age now hinders her from
> getting about. What the citizens are saying is that --
>
> ..the Earl Gray mayor, she ain't what she used to be!
Earl Gray: Ex-CA Governor gets knighted
Tim Bruening
Beamer: Happy ocean.
Creamer: Tasty ocean.
Seamer: Sewing machine ocean.
Steamer: Ocean of coal powered trains.
Stormer: Rainy ocean.
Tim Bruening
To be franc, this is nonsense!
Shall I pound this message further?
Mark my words.
Ruble: Russian money bull.
Tim Bruening
Onkel Petey wrote:
> Al Jazeera
> Al Qaeda
> Al Ibi
> Al Abama
> Al Anon
> Al Cohol (He's a buddy of mine)
> Al Toona (So is she)
> Al Ligator
Al Gore.
Al Pine.
Al Gorithm.
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B0A4A9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40014B91...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Rumble: Druken male cow.
> > >
> > > Tumble: Male cow with stomach(s) ache.
> > >
> > > Bumble: Male cow with sore arse/ass.
> > >
> > > Fumble: Male cow who's very clumsy.
> > >
> > > Humble: Male cow who'd like to be moo-sickle but can't remember
the
> words -
> > > or who stinks!.
> > >
> > > Scumble: Male cow who's intensly disliked.
> >
> > Grumble: Complaining bull.
> >
> > Amble: Bull just walking along.
> >
> > Scramble: Fast bull.
> >
> > Compatible: Friendly bull.
> >
> > Compatible: Electronic bull.
> >
> If she has income and is patable, why would anyone consider her to be
> incompatible?
Patentable: What Monsanto would do with a genetically engineer male
bovine
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B0AABC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B00EA4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4041ED5A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > > > > news:403DBDD4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > B-10: The bee who lost.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Beanie: Part of a bee's anatomy you wear on your head.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Base Ball Cap: Covering for spherical objects in the
nether
> regions
> > > > > usually
> > > > > > > referred to using a rude word from the Nether Lands, or
is that
> > > > > bollocks?!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Like a condom? (*Those* ones are called Wellington Boots
over
> here!)
> > > > > >
> > > > > Sentence in murder case or whole country manufacturing
rubbers:
> > > > > Condomnation.
> > > >
> > > > Sentencing: What the judge sings at the end of a trial.
> > >
> > > Not the famous naked judge, Justice Shoesansocks?
> >
> > Was he imprisoned in Iraq?
>
> Only his shoesansocks were. There's a footwear shortage out there.
A lack of sole
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B095B6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On 17 May 2004 09:16:12 -0500, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > > <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >>>>>>>>> Datsa not a knot hole -- datsa bung hole.
> > > >>>>>>>> I'd break into a chorus of Jethro Tull's "Bunghole In
The
> Jungle",
> > > >>>>>>>> but it might get Milt too excited.
> > > >>>>>>> Hehe! Hahaha! Watch me swing on this vine! Oo...Hey! Wait
a
> > > >>>>>>> minute...! <Boink!>
> > > >>>>>>You misspelled "Bunged!"
> > > >>>>>Now there's a visual. I always wondered why Tarzan yelled
like
> that.
> > > >>>>Tarzan stumped when him find out Jane really John. That make
Tarzan
> > > >>>>yell.
> > > >>>Yeah, that Hollywood Blvd can be a real jungle.
> > > >>
> > > >>"The Celluloid Jungle" by Milt Smuthworthy I. A tale of sex,
lies and
> > > >>videotape found on Hollywood Blvd. Now available at all Cheeta
> > > >>Bookstores worldwide.
> > > >>Photos by Jane.
> > > >
> > > >I was thinking of calling the movie version Beyond the Valley of
the
> > > >Beans. And instead of a sword, this guy grinds everybody up and
stuffs
> > > >them in a giant percolator.
> > >
> > > Interesting idea, Milt. Are you by any chance smoking beans
instead
> > > of drinking them?
> >
> > How do you smoke a bean?
> >
> Depenz aan which legume been stannin orn at the toim! (Sposed to be a
West
> Country accent!)
Legume: Below the Armgume
Tim Bruening
Cracker: Crazy dog.
Cracker: Dog biscuit.
Laker: Dog in big body of water.
Laker: Basketball dog.
Rocker: Stone dog.
Rocker: Big brid dog.
Sicker: Unwell dog.
Slicker: Slippery dog.
Smoker: Burning dog.
Smoker: Cigarette puffing dog.
Tim Bruening
James King wrote:
> In article <fcd1f4e4.04033...@posting.google.com>, artyw
> <art...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > "Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > news:<106lh8m...@corp.supernews.com>...
> > > I would like to reaffirm my belief in Buddha," Said the monk,
> > > "but there is a great deal to be said for margarine.
> > Praise the Lard!
>
> The benefit of Oleo to butter or lard is margarinal.
>
> My brother holds the weight lifting record for lifting cooking fat.
He
> canola lot of bottles of oil.
>
> Crisco: a company comprised of elves, reindeer, and a jolly CEO known
> as Mr. Kringle, although a claus in his contract states several
> aliases.
>
> I'm fried after thinking of these.
Is there a Santa Clause stating that a person who kills Kringle must
take his place
Tim Bruening
Strange Lad wrote:
> "NottNick" <nmm6...@bellows.org.uk> wrote in message
news:c2q8ri$hcn$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > I've been a member of this group for a while now and realise I'm
not the
> > only Nick.
> > So I'm now NOTTNICK.
> > :-)
> >
> So am I
>
> Strange NotNick
Nottingham: Not a pig.
Willingham: A pig football coach (just hired by the Washington Huskies)
who wants sex!
Tim Bruening
> I'm not nick, I'm nick from Nott but Nottnick sounds better than
Nicknott
> does it not?
>
> Nottnick (from Nott)
>
> "David Sutcliffe" <dav...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> news:c2qb5c$814$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...
> >
> > "NottNick" <nmm6...@bellows.org.uk> wrote in message
> > news:c2q8ri$hcn$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > > I've been a member of this group for a while now and realise I'm
not the
> > > only Nick.
> > > So I'm now NOTTNICK.
> > > :-)
> > >
> > >
> >
> > So which NICK. are you NOTT then?
Saint Nick
Tim Bruening
Amicable: Friendly cable TV.
Amicable: Friendly male bovine.
Brooding: Depressed bell.
Bruising: Musical thugs.
Carting: Musical automobiles.
Cloud bank: Where angels and birds keep their money.
Consort: Against sorting.
Consort: To sort criminals.
Converting: Against painting bells green.
Tim Bruening
Courting: The center of a bell.
Courting: Where bells play tennis.
Courting: Where bells work out legal matters.
Courting: Bells falling in love.
Diverting: To paint bells green.
Elegant: Fashionably dressed ant.
Eradicating: To eliminate the bells.
Evoking: To bring out kingly qualities.
Fashionable: Male bovine in stylish clothes.
Tim Bruening
Incomer: An ocean is approaching.
Incoming: A Chinese vase is approaching.
Informer: Ocean that snitches.
Informing: Vase with information.
Innumerable: Too many male bovines to count.
Invisible: Male bovines that can't be seen.
Oncomer: Cancerous ocean.
Regard: To restore security.
Reverting: To paint the bell green again.
Succubus: Prostitutes on mass transit.
Suitable: Male bovine lawyer.
Tacoma: Mother of a taco.
Tractable: Male bovine on a train.
Tractable: Table on a train.
Vamping: Musical bloodsucking undead
Tim Bruening
Pavel314 wrote:
> If a gentile man converts to Judaism, he must be circumcised.
>
> If a gentile sea captain converts to Judaism, he must be
circumnavigated.
>
> If a gentile air conditioning installer converts to Judaism, he must
be
> circumvented.
>
> If a gentile editor converts to Judaism, he must be circumscribed.
>
> If a gentile orator converts to Judaism, he must be circumlocuted.
>
> If a gentile optician converts to Judaism, he must be circumspect.
If a fat Gentile man converts to Judaism, he must be surrounded.
If a diver converts, he must surface
Tim Bruening
Palema wrote:
> Pavel314 wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:40653308...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Just two weeks to Iraq Liberation Day (The day Saddam Hussein fled
> >>Baghdad).
> >
> >
> > Is a Baghdad the consort of a bag lady?
> >
> >
> You mean Bagmom, right? I believe that's a salve they use for cows
> udders to relieve soreness and NG flames ;-)
No, they use Bag Balm.
Terrorists use Bag Bombs.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sat, 27 Mar 2004 12:18:42 -0500, "Pavel314" <Pave...@comcast.net>
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >If a gentile man converts to Judaism, he must be circumcised.
> >
> >If a gentile sea captain converts to Judaism, he must be
circumnavigated.
> >
> >If a gentile air conditioning installer converts to Judaism, he must
be
> >circumvented.
> >
> >If a gentile editor converts to Judaism, he must be circumscribed.
> >
> >If a gentile orator converts to Judaism, he must be circumlocuted.
> >
> >If a gentile optician converts to Judaism, he must be circumspect.
> >
> If a gentile meeting motivatioanl speaker converts to Judaism, he
must be
> circumferenced?
If a clown converts, he must be circussed
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4060D3BE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:405EDEC7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dogma: A bitch.
> > >
> > > Dogmatic: Dog who operates the washing machin.
> >
> > Dogmatic: Parasite that infests mother dogs.
>
> Navel economy measures. Paper uniforms for sailors. You should hear
Jack
> Russel as he walks along!
Extracting: Former railroad bell
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 28 Mar 2004 03:08:58 GMT, Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net>
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >Michael Balarama wrote:
> >
> >> was sent this:
> >> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car. He was
astounded
> >> to see that the driver was knitting. Realizing that she was
oblivious
> >> to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his
window,
> >> turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" she yelled
back.
> >> "IT'S A SCARF!"
> >>
> >>
> >Good yarn! She needle pay closer attention!
>
> No sweater insurance compay rate rise will unravel her carelessness.
Knitting: Musical fiber artist.
Panting: Musical cloothes for lower body
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Name of a BBC TV inter-university quiz for students with no knowledge
of any
> subject whatsoever:
>
> Universally Challenged.
Dumbo: Arrow that doesn't shoot straight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Does a half Jewish guy have a twoskin?
>
> (On 'The Kumars at No 42,' BBC TV just now.)
And does he attend half a synagogue?
Tim Bruening
I'm here, where's the bitches?
How can a dog post on the Internet.
Tim Bruening
> Yeah, but it's not the oldest one on the net. Look at this site:
> http://communication.ucsd.edu/bjones/Usenet.Hist/Nethist/0061.html
> The earliest post at that site is from May 27, 1980
> Lots of other ancient stuff on there too...
What newsgroup was it posted on?
Tim Bruening
>On Mon, 24 Jan 2005 11:37:14 -0800, "Jenni Saqua"
<suppo...@R.troops.gov>
>found these unused words floating about:
>>"J. A. Mc." wrote ...
>>> On Mon, 24 Jan ~^Johnny^~ found these unused words floating about:
>>>>On Sat, 22 Jan 2005 10:19:29 -0800, J. A. Mc. wrote:
>>>>>On 22 Jan 2005 08:40:25 -0800, "Shashank" >>>found these unused
words
>>>>>floating about:
>>>>>>~^Johnny^~ wrote:
>>>>>>> On 18 Jan 2005 11:59:36 -0800, wrote:
>>>>>>> >Michael Balarama says:
>>>>>>> >>three of us took the elevator from the third floor to the
first-we
>>>>>>> >were
>>>>>>> >>three downers
>>>>>>> >If it had been from first to third it would have been an
up-lifting
>>>>>>> >story.
>>>>>>> Let's give this thread the shaft, shall we?
>>>>>>Or we could try to axle rate it.
>>>>>Otis not the time to fight and bicker, son.
>>>>You just like to press buttons.
>>> Well, it's one device that you can't use unless you get depressed.
>
>>If it's inspiration you're looking for, some elevators actually come
with
>>their own special muse, Zach.
>Well, I'm floored!
Flooring: Ring at the bottom of a room.
Do any of you have Downs syndrome
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4153A4D7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FAF3C11...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Microbe: Very small robe.
> > > >
> > > > Nematode: Worm-toad crossbreed.
> > > >
> > > Nematelmia: Someone asking for info on these worms.
> > >
> > > Nematoid: Nematode from the Bronx.
> >
> > Nematoid: Worm robot?
> >
> > Refuse: To set the bomb again.
>
> Gadget for magnifying a member of the genus Corvus belonging to me:
My Crow
> Scope.
Hydraulic: Greeting to Mr. Draulic
Tim Bruening
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4153A4FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > The unknowable wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:402B17D0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The unknowable wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > > news:NFcWb.14913$cL....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > > > news:4028B0F3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > Baby: Bee in SF.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Before: Bee golfer.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Bejabber: Bee that goes on and on....
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Bejesus: Bee that walks on water.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Behind: Buzzing male deer.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Below: Subteerainian bee.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Between: Sandwiched bee.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tab-bee: Cat-bee crossbreed.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Beginning: a bee egg.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Bee Tee: Telecom taken by managers and sold back to (some of)
the
> > > owners.
> > > > > Will you tell Sid?
> > > >
> > > > Please explain the above.
> > > >
> > > Sorry Tim. Sometimes I forget that some a.h.puns readers don't
live in
> the
> > > Irish Isles :-) Didn't mean to beacon fusing.
> >
> > Beacon: Criminal bee.
>
> Bacon: Counterfeit oven.
Bacon: SF criminal.
Tim Bruening
"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
> So then Larry Krzewinski said:
> >
> >>>>So then Alan reirritated:
> >>>>>>Bib Likkle chant: (repeat...): "Noah. Ana. Siam."
> >>>>>I learned that one as "Ohwah. Tagoo. Siam.
> >>>>I like your version for young people like Mos.
> >>>Mos might like "What kind of tool am I?"
> >>He's an empty shell where an empty fart must dwell?
> >
> >Why can't I pass my gas like any other man?
> >And maybe then I'll kno' what kind of tool I am!
>
> You sing like Al Gyro.
Gyrate: Price of a spinning top.
Beaming: Happy Chinese vase.
Creaming: Tasty vase.
Seaming: Sewing machine vase.
Steaming: Hot vase.
Storming: Rainy vase
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:l397c0pgrt4b54784...@4ax.com...
> > On 6 Jun 2004 15:53:04 -0700, tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us (Tim
Bruening)
> > wrote:
> >
> > >> I *am* the scorekeeper.
> > >
> > >What do you keep 20 of?
> >
> > Fingers and toes. Why?
>
> Not sheet music, or in the case of pop, shit music?
Sheet music: Played by the KKK band.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:rug7c0laq32uqjjja...@4ax.com...
> > On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 17:37:14 -0700, Tim Bruening
> > <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> > >> >> I *am* the scorekeeper.
> > >> >
> > >> >What do you keep 20 of?
> > >>
> > >> Fingers and toes. Why?
> > >
> > >Because a score is 20.
> >
> > Four score and seven years ago Tim started asking way, way too many
> > questions. Tim, has anyone ever offered to honorarily induct you
into
> > Gettysburg?
>
> He'd forget his address!
Goldberg: A rich chunk of ice in the deep blue sea.
Goldwater: Said ice, melted
Tim Bruening
Deb wrote:
> A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife
> something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he
> decides to buy her a cell phone.
>
> She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and
> explains to her all the features on the phone.
>
> The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and
> it's her husband. "Hi hun," he says. "How do you like your
> new phone?"
>
> She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice
> is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't
> understand."
>
> "What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
>
> "How did you know I was at Wal Mart?"
Cell phone: Phone used by amoebas.
Amoebas: Micro cellular sheep.
Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.
Strip Mall: Store for nudists
Tim Bruening
Steve Siegfried wrote:
> Folks,
>
> No intro today.
>
> And on that "Oh... he's back to being lazy again, eh?" thought,
> Ziggy's Joke o' the day was sent in by CraigS:
>
> On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a
> petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
> The pump attendant, who obviously knows nothing about golf,
> greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of
> who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir,"
> says the attendant.
>
> Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the
> nozzle.
>
> As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto
> the ground.
>
> "What are those?" asks the attendant.
>
> "They're called tees," replies Tiger.
>
> "Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the
> Irishman.
>
> "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says
> Tiger.
>
> "Fookin Jaysus," says the Irishman. "BMW thinks of
> everything."
Makes for interesting foreplay
Tim Bruening
Steve Siegfried wrote:
> Folks,
>
> Rumor has it that a certain senior son on spring break was spotted
> on a street corner in Boulder... busking! Some kind folks should
> please take the kid in and feed him.
>
> And on that proud fatherly thought, Ziggy's Joke o' the day was sent
> in by Vic:
>
> The results of a recent survey have been released. It was a
> poll on how women felt about the size of their ass.
>
> The findings of the study are very interesting: 85% of women
> think their ass is too big, 10% of women think their ass is
> too small.
>
> And 5% of women say that they don't care, they love him and
> would have married him anyway.
Married to donkeys? That's worse than the gay marriage controversy
Tim Bruening
Geordie the Forgery wrote:
> "Elisabeth Müller" <mael...@eunet.at> wrote in message
> news:406f1ad8...@news.eunet-ag.at...
> > On Fri, 26 Mar 2004 06:14:33 GMT, s...@zjod.net (Steve Siegfried)
> > wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >So next time your 'puter bites the dust,
> > >consider giving 'em a call, especially since they make house
calls.
> >
> > "Yo, house!"
>
> Is that playing bingo in New York?
When I see a "Call Box" sign, I say "Yo, box!".
Yummer: Tasty ocean.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
> Cleaning out the aviary at a British zoo, the keeper found a dead
> finch. He put it in a sack. Later he found two dead monkeys, and put
> them in the sack, too. At feeding time, as he often did, he took the
> dead animals to the lion's cage. But, as he was emptying the contents
> into the cage, the lion gave him a nasty look and roared, "Not finch
> and chimps again!"
Zoomer: Ocean of animals.
Zooming: Chinese vase that holds animals.
Zebra: Bra #26.
Tim Bruening
Steve Siegfried wrote:
> Folks,
>
> I didn't find out about it until after he left, but Dubya was in
> town yesterday. Apparently, they shut down the airport so his plane
> could land. Next they shut down all the streets and highways his
> motorcade took to two different events, a speech in downtown
> Minneapolis and a fund-raiser in the suburb of Potemkin. Then they
> shut down the airport again so his plane could take off.
>
> Isn't this exactly the kind of imperial behavior we used to make fun
> of whenever the Soviet leaders did it? I mean, gee.. whenever the
> guy moves, everything stops. It's almost like he's like a walking,
> talking entropy singularity.
Potemkin: Fake kids
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> An English cook went up to Scotland to study Highland cooking and was
soon
> found dead with a dirty great Claymore stuck up his arse!
>
> The Highland chief said, "Aye! He had it comin'. He kept on
criticisin' ourr
> food! He just wouldn't stop makin' disporridging remarks!"
The Highlanders must not get off Scot free!
Claymore: More ceramics!
Ceramic: A sheep pottery knight
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40305D7C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5CDBB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.
> > > >
> > > > Advert: Add the color green.
> > > >
> > > R. Gent: Inventor of the colour blue.
> > >
> > > R. Gent Tina: His wife and where they lived.
> >
> > Pun Gent: A man who makes obnoxious puns.
>
> Astringent: A man made entirely from thread.
>
> Detergent: A man who frightens everyone away.
>
> Fulgent: A man who's eaten too much.
>
> Effulgent: His wife, Ethel.
>
> Plangent: An architect.
>
> Semitangent: A man who's sunbathing but hasn't turned over yet.
>
> Tangent: A man who has.
>
> Tingent: A very crude male robot - like as what was in Over the
Rainbow.
>
> Urgent: Her husband.
Reagent: Chemical man.
Regent: The man returns for more
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41BE9E2E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Beamer: Happy ocean.
> >
> > Creamer: Tasty ocean.
> >
> > Seamer: Sewing machine ocean.
> >
> > Steamer: Ocean of coal powered trains.
> >
> > Stormer: Rainy ocean.
>
> Steaming Gin: Drunk on cold days by locomotive drivers.
>
> Boomer: Ocean of discontented fans and the sailing dog belonging to
the
> hero's wife in "Independence Day."
Boomer: Ghost ocean.
Booming: Ghost vase.
Tim Bruening
Mockba: Fake sheep in the Russian capitol.
Mocker: Fake dog.
Mocking: Fake monarch.
Simba: Fake sheep.
Simmer: Fake ocean.
Simming: Fake Chinese vase.
Tim Bruening
dobe...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Tim Bruening wrote:
> > Donkey Hote: Ass that tilts at windmills.
> Hote California: the motel where actors who play Don Quixote stay.
Left wing ass: Very liberal Democrat.
Right wing ass: Very conservative Democrat.