Has anyone heard of "The Aristocrats" joke?
al_pastor
Hefner:
http://www.nyobserver.com/pages/story.asp?ID=4917
* * *
"A man—a talent agent is sitting in his office. A family walks in. A
man, woman, two kids, their little dog, and the talent agent goes,
'What kind of an act do you do?'"
At the father's signal, Mr. Gottfried said, the family disrobes en
masse. "The father starts fucking his wife," he said. "The wife starts
jerking off the son. The son starts going down on the sister. The
sister starts fingering the dog's asshole."
Mr. Gottfried's voice was growing stronger. "Then the son starts
blowing his father."
The Hilton's ballroom filled with the sounds of sudden exhalations.
The comedians on the dais were bug-eyed with laughter and recognition.
Some of the men had dropped to all fours.
Mr. Gottfried was beaming.
"Want me to start at the beginning?" he asked.
He kept going, turning the joke into an extended bacchanal of bodily
fluids, excrement, bestiality and sexual deviance. Mr. Gottfried
plumbed the darkest crevices he could find. He riffed and riffed until
people in the audience were coughing and sputtering and sucking in
great big gulps of air. Tears ran throughout the Hilton ballroom, as
if Mr. Gottfried had performed a collective tracheotomy on the
audience, delivering oxygen and laughter past the grief and ash that
had blocked their passageways.
Then he brought it home.
"The talent agent says, 'Well, that's an interesting act. What do you
call yourselves?'"
Mr. Gottfried threw up his hands. "And they go, 'The Aristocrats!'"
There was a sound in the room that went beyond laughter.
Mr. Gottfried had gone to "The Aristocrats," the comedy equivalent of
the B-flat below high C that Leontyne Price had sung at Carnegie Hall
on Sunday. "The Aristocrats" is one of the definitive inside jokes
among comedians. It is so definitive that comicPaul Provenza and
performance artist Penn Jillette are making a digital documentary
about the joke. "Every comic makes it their own," Mr. Provenza said.
"The set-up is the same and the punch line is the same," but the comic
puts his or her "own stamp" on the material in between.
Amanda
I want a tape of this so bad....
Just to hear my Gilbert talking dirty...
-Amanda
jane wilson
my brother said it was hysterical. does anyone know when it will be
rebroadcast? i worship gg. the bit he used to do about moby dick is
practically my fave ever.
jw
Dana
wrote:
>my brother said it was hysterical. does anyone know when it will be
>rebroadcast? i worship gg. the bit he used to do about moby dick is
>practically my fave ever.
I'm sure they'll sell it on VHS soon.
--
-=Dana=-
"
w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
[To reply via email, please remove my pants.]
CavortingKlownHarbor
> On 9 Nov 2001 11:05:41 -0800, craftyja...@yahoo.com (jane wilson)
> wrote:
>
> >my brother said it was hysterical.
PROOF THAT DANA IS A FAT FUCK THAT NEVER LEAVES HIS CHRISTIAN FANATIC,
KARAOKE BENDING, NON HORN-WEARING TEXAN COMPUTER.
From: Dana (Lord...@sbcglobalPANTS.net)Subject: Re: harry potter is
coming
****Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.current-filmsView: Complete Thread (57
articles) | Original Format****
Date: 2001-11-09 11:41:05 PST
On Fri, 09 Nov 2001 19:12:06 GMT, Ronald O. Christian
<ro...@europa.com> wrote:
>Those were the days...
>"If UN peacekeeping had been involved during the US civil war,
>it'd still be going on today."
Visited your site Ron... I have an aunt & uncle up in Lake Oswego.
I haven't been up that way in decades, but I love the PNW.
Not a *whole* lot of info on your site apart from how you made it, and
a blurb or two about your anniversary and daughter. To each his own I
guess.
Best to you and yours.
-=Dana=-
w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
From: Dana (Lord...@sbcglobalPANTS.net)Subject: Karaoke in Dallas?
You bet!
THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!! KARAOKE? FUCKING PERFECT!!!*****Newsgroups:
alt.music.karaoke*****View: (This is the only article in this thread)
| Original Format
Date: 2001-11-09 10:17:05 PST
Go to my site and scroll down to Little Sister Productions Karaoke for
a show list and other things.
Address is in my signature.
-=Dana=-
w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
[To reply via email, please remove my pants.]
From: Dana (Lord...@sbcglobalPANTS.net)Subject: Earth to Durango....
Calling Durango.... You There?
HAHAHA!! YEAH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A SINGLES NEWSGROUP YOU FAT
FUCK? ****Newsgroups: dfw.singles*****View: (This is the only article
in this thread) | Original Format
Date: 2001-11-09 10:10:15 PST
Answer your email.
-=Dana=-
w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
[To reply via email, please remove my pants.]
From: Dana (Lord...@sbcglobalPANTS.net)Subject: Re: Who killed Mary,
again? ;)
Dana must be an invalid. At least mentally.
*****Newsgroups: rec.music.artists.queensryche*****View: Complete
Thread (31 articles) | Original Format
Date: 2001-11-09 00:15:09 PST
On 09 Nov 2001 03:16:54 GMT, drchris...@aol.com (Drchristidwell)
wrote:
>>From: blackd...@mindspring.com
>>Date: 11/7/01 9:40 PM Eastern Standard Time
>>Message-id: <3be9ec65...@news.mindspring.com>
>>Its working title is "The Revolution Isn't Real: Queensr˙che's
>>Operation:mindcrime as capitalist propaganda." Don't laugh too
hard.
>
>
>Wow .... epic title. Mincrime is a very angry album for a number of
reasons.
{Stupidity snipped for obvious reasons.}
>MC had an urgency to it .... this had better work ... or else.
>Would LOVE to read your work.
And I for one would LOVE to read more posts from you!
Welcome!
-=Dana=-
w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
*******************************************
He was born on Monday, September 17th, 2001 in Plano, Texas at 5:30pm
He weighed 8 pounds even and measured 20 1/2 inches long.... and a
very happy turd!
HOLY CRAP CHRISTIAN FUCK! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY STACKED SHIT THAT
HIGH!!
There are a great many factors that go into making a fantastic karaoke
show. For one you need a huge songlist that's updated constantly. The
Little Sister Songbook is a GIGANTIC tome with well over 10,000 songs
for you to choose from. Most of them suck completely. But once you've
had enough beer, it really doesn't matter now does it?
HAHAHA!!! YOU FAT FUCK!!!!
Cavorticass
Harb7707
>PROOF THAT DANA IS A FAT FUCK THAT NEVER LEAVES HIS CHRISTIAN FANATIC,
>KARAOKE BENDING, NON HORN-WEARING TEXAN COMPUTER.
>
You need a sedative. And large male nurses.
Harb
Dana
(CavortingKlownHarbor) wrote:
>*******************************************
>>He was born on Monday, September 17th, 2001 in Plano, Texas at 5:30pm
>>He weighed 8 pounds even and measured 20 1/2 inches long...
> and a very happy turd!
>HOLY CRAP CHRISTIAN FUCK! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY STACKED SHIT THAT
>HIGH!!
>>There are a great many factors that go into making a fantastic karaoke
>>show. For one you need a huge songlist that's updated constantly. The
>>Little Sister Songbook is a GIGANTIC tome with well over 10,000 songs
>>for you to choose from.
>Most of them suck completely. But once you've
>had enough beer, it really doesn't matter now does it?
>HAHAHA!!! YOU FAT FUCK!!!!
The Internet Arena is an Internet Service Provider in downtown
Portland, Oregon (across the street from the Multnomah Central
Library)
Complaints submitted to both Google and Internet Arena... the dial up
account you use? Or are you now forced to go post from the public
library? What happened to your @home cable connection?
Keep it up and see what happens, jerkoff.
--
Orange orange
Can you find Osama?
harbndanaXXOO
>I envy him. I wish I could work at home.
ha ha ha
look everybody
dana thinks singing along to a ghetto blaster
and spending 16+ hours a day trolling the net is his lifes calling
well i guess if you dont have the goods to get anywhere in life a computer is
fine company
without it you would be spending your time looking for change in payphones
it is a pity your wife has to pay your way in this world little boy
the military sure failed with making a true man out of you
and you know it and it hurts you terribly
and you spread misery upon others because you dont understand your own life
you are very afraid and you react to the world with selfishness and over
reaction
you are fighting a losing battle
and you are displaying your shortcomings to strangers
boy are you dumb
OOOXXXsmooches honey
and harb
your jig is up sugar
better hide
the old gang knows
Harb is a Nelly
Dana is a Eddie Haskel on food stamps
Orange orange
I think you're getting to him....
Dana
<Lari...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Can you find Osama?
If I could, you bet I would.
Dana
Not even.
I guess it's time to show the people at AOL some more reasons to
remove ACS from their server offerings.
Harb7707
>ha ha ha
>look everybody
>dana thinks singing along to a ghetto blaster
>and spending 16+ hours a day trolling the net is his lifes calling
>well i guess if you dont have the goods to get anywhere in life a computer is
ha ha ha
look everybody
Pussy thinks spending 16+ a day trying to bother dana
is her lifes calling.
well i guess if you don't have the goods to get anywher in life
bla bla bla my mommy hates me bla bla dana reminds me
of my absent father bla bla I'm going to throw a drink on you bla bla
Harb7707
>I think you're getting to him....
Yep. Dana's in a tizzy over this force of nature.
Harb
cracked slightly
>-=Dana=-
>"
>w w w . d f w m e t r o . o r g / d a n a
>
>[To reply via email, please remove my pants.]
>
Don't do that, I won't be able to read it ;o)
That fella sure sounds like he's jealous of you.
C_S
blah
>>> you are fighting a losing battle
>>> and you are displaying your shortcomings to strangers
>I guess it's time to show the people at AOL some more reasons to
>remove ACS from their server offerings.
Oh LOOK EVERYBODY
The big man who slings the scat all day long cant take it himself
Hes going to tell somebody
Hes afraid of the dark
What a terrible little soldier
He needs a skirt to hide behind
Try Harb
He has been known to wear skirts
Ask around
watch out for snakes in the grass
Dana
slightly) wrote:
>Don't do that, I won't be able to read it ;o)
And that's sad for those who legitimately use their AOL account
properly, to have to suffer for the actions of the few. If you others
on AOL like posting/reading here, I would highly reccommend you do
what you can to quell the assholes who share your ISP.
Haven't seen any Newsranger posts in here in a while have ya?
>That fella sure sounds like he's jealous of you.
Quite possibly. I hear the undertone in some of the posts too. I
think what people have a hard time with is that I *do* work from home
on my computer, so I have lots of access time at my disposal. This
shouldn't come as a surprise though, I posted that info when I
introduced myself to the group back in mid June.
It would be quite easy to be jealous if your own abundance of access
time to the computer stems from your gainful unemployment, and the
only thing you do for validation in this world is get up weekend after
weekend and suck at an open mic.
I like your posts CS.... post more.
--
Dana
Psssst Harb....
Add on the [%] or some dimwit will take you seriously and celebrate
needlessly.
cracked slightly
>
>On 10 Nov 2001 06:30:30 GMT, cracked...@aol.combustion (cracked
>slightly) wrote:
>
>
>>Don't do that, I won't be able to read it ;o)
>
>And that's sad for those who legitimately use their AOL account
>properly, to have to suffer for the actions of the few. If you others
>on AOL like posting/reading here, I would highly reccommend you do
>what you can to quell the assholes who share your ISP.
>
I use AOL only for mail, and sometimes reading groups. There are an abundance
of s-f-brains all over the net, but most reside on AOL and 'web-tv'...lol
>Haven't seen any Newsranger posts in here in a while have ya?
Nope
>>That fella sure sounds like he's jealous of you.
>
>Quite possibly. I hear the undertone in some of the posts too. I
>think what people have a hard time with is that I *do* work from home
>on my computer, so I have lots of access time at my disposal. This
>shouldn't come as a surprise though, I posted that info when I
>introduced myself to the group back in mid June.
>
>It would be quite easy to be jealous if your own abundance of access
>time to the computer stems from your gainful unemployment, and the
>only thing you do for validation in this world is get up weekend after
>weekend and suck at an open mic.
>
>I like your posts CS.... post more.
>
I like your website...I lurk around here and decided to 'put the spaces
together' and check it out. Good luck in your endeavor.
Have you ever made it to Jersey ? I live right across the water from Manhattan.
Used to go to Rascals comedy club awhile back, but haven't been to many shows
lately.
Best,
Joe (C_S)
Harb7707
>Psssst Harb....
>
>Add on the [%] or some dimwit will take you seriously and celebrate
>needlessly.
Fuck 'em.
Harb
Dana
slightly) wrote:
> I use AOL only for mail, and sometimes reading groups. There are an abundance
>of s-f-brains all over the net, but most reside on AOL and 'web-tv'...lol
Ayup. ; )
>>Haven't seen any Newsranger posts in here in a while have ya?
> Nope
You're welcome. lol
>>>That fella sure sounds like he's jealous of you.
>>Quite possibly. I hear the undertone in some of the posts too. I
>>think what people have a hard time with is that I *do* work from home
>>on my computer, so I have lots of access time at my disposal. This
>>shouldn't come as a surprise though, I posted that info when I
>>introduced myself to the group back in mid June.
>>It would be quite easy to be jealous if your own abundance of access
>>time to the computer stems from your gainful unemployment, and the
>>only thing you do for validation in this world is get up weekend after
>>weekend and suck at an open mic.
>>I like your posts CS.... post more.
>I like your website...I lurk around here and decided to 'put the spaces
>together' and check it out. Good luck in your endeavor.
Danke!
>Have you ever made it to Jersey ? I live right across the water from Manhattan.
No I haven't but I've always wanted to go visit the Jersey shore.
Catch a few shows at the Stone Pony... walk along Asbury Park. I
guess I'm still a goober Springsteen fan huh?
I have a co-worker who lives out there, and he's been trying to get me
to visit as well. When you have a new baby in the house you do a lot
of "Someday..." talk. heh
>Used to go to Rascals comedy club awhile back, but haven't been to many shows
>lately.
So a comedy fan? Open mic daredevil? What do you do for a living?
cracked slightly
Used to be a metaller (still am)..had an AC/DC tribute band way back in the day
(80's)..& a Judas Priest tribute band till '89, no originals...now 42 still
single, still go see some of the 80's bands here & there...I have a boring
self-employed job, I upkeep ambulance and firetrucks (wiring, lights, radios,
sirens). I have a small rehearsal / recording studio I rent out to local
talent. Enjoy comedy, wish I caught the tonight show to see the Louis CK dude
but skipped out for a bit. Oh well ...there's always reruns
C_S
Cavorticass
If Osama posted as a Dana imposter, Dana could find him. Don't underestimate
that. ;o)
Cavorticass
be worthless!
(Figured I'd try that repetitive thing. You seem to like it. ;o)
Cavorticass
>
>
LOL! Sarcasm noted. I don't think it is so easy to get to him. They've been
trying for a long time now. ;o)
Cavorticass
>on AOL like posting/reading here, I would highly reccommend you do
>what you can to quell the assholes who share your ISP.
>
Why would I bother? LOL!
Cavorticass
>Catch a few shows at the Stone Pony... walk along Asbury Park.
A mere 3 hours from here. I don't think you'd want to bother with Asbury park
these days though. ;o) There's other cool places though. NYC and
Maryland. LOL
Jersey has its merits though. Hey, Tokyo Road is still out there somewhere.
Cavorticass
OMFG, CK and LENO sharing the stage? Do you *really* feel like you missed
anything stunning??? ROFL
Cavorticass
>is her lifes calling.
>well i guess if you don't have the goods to get anywher in life
>bla bla bla my mommy hates me bla bla
LOVE ME, DADDY!
cracked slightly
>>wish I caught the tonight show to see the Louis CK dude
>
>OMFG, CK and LENO sharing the stage? Do you *really* feel like you missed
>anything stunning??? ROFL
I don't know, i've never seen his act yet.
C_S
Cavorticass
No worries.