"otto titslinger"
JeanieZone
with the lyrics to the song "otto titslinger" that bette midler sings in the
movie "beaches." i have been trying to find it online with no luck so far.
thanks!
jeanie :)
ps if anyone has the address to any good lyrics sites, please send that on in
as well. :)
"No woman, no cry... Everything's gonna be all right..."
--- Bob Marley
Jeani...@aol.com... spreading sunshine on the net :o)
Erin Wilson
http://members.aol.com/KumquatBoy/bettelyrics.html
The song lyrics are for her comedy album "Mud WILL Be Flung Tonight",
they vary slightly from the "Beaches" version. (I made a coupla slight
typographical changes)
erin
---
OTTO TITSLING
by Bette Midler, Jerry Blatt, Charlene Seeger and Marc Shaiman
from Mud Will Be Flung Tonight!
"This next story is a true story. It concerns to of my favorite
subjects: industrial theft . . . and-a tits! Mmm, what a combo! This is
the story . . . The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we
women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of
Otto Titsling! This is a true story. His name was Otto Titsling. What
happened to Otto Titsling shouldn't happen to a schnauzer. It's a very
sad story. I feel i have to share it with you."
Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut,
Had nothing to get very worked up about.
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.
He fled to the opera at least twice a week.
One night at the opera he saw an aida
Whose tits were so big they would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
done in by the weight of those terrible tits.
Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire or inspiration flood his soul.
He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed.
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!
Every night he'd sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stitched and he slaved
and he slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
Yes! He had invented the world's first
over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!
Exhausted, but ecstatic he ran
down the street to the diva's house
bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
But, after many initial misgivings, she finally did.
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
from the diva's mouth
was so loud that it was mistaken by some
to be the early onset of the Scirrocon (sp?) winds
which would often roll through the Schwarzwald with a vengeance!
Ahhhhh-i!
But little did Otto know,
at the moment of his greatest triumph,
lurking under the diva's bed
was none other than the very worst
of the french patent thieves,
Phillip DeBrassiere.
And Phil was watching the scene
with a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while our Brunhilde slept,
into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept.
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
'til he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door.
Crying, "Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss!
I'm gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
I can have all the goods manufactures in Taiwan."
"Oh, thank you!"
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
"Ohhh! Thank you!"
---
Joe Crawford
> this site is amazing if you're a Bette fan :)
> http://members.aol.com/KumquatBoy/bettelyrics.html
<snip>
> OTTO TITSLING
> by Bette Midler, Jerry Blatt, Charlene Seeger and Marc Shaiman
> from Mud Will Be Flung Tonight!
<snip>
Well Ewon -- it's good to see you're using your powers for good, and not
evil ... : )
-joe