my first story....i hope you like it - Ranma's Dream [FanFic]
Patrick James Conley
If this looks like a story that any one of you readers may have
seen before or even wrote yourself, don't have a fit, I haven't
had an Internet uplink for almost 2 years, so I don't know what's
up. If you have an outstanding net copyright on a story like
this let me know so I can make the proper adjustments to this
disclaimer and give you credit for what is yours and what is
mine.
This is my first attempt at fan fiction, sorry I couldn't be
more original....Watch this space for my next story, presently
titled: "Gohan and Trunks Go Girl Hunting." A story in which our
heroes seek advice on how to pick up girls from the master
himself-- MOROBOSHI ATARU! More silliness from the mind that now
proudly presents.....
Ranma no Yume
or
Ranma's Dream
Ranma is relaxing at the Tendo Dojo, Nabiki comes into the room
with a letter for Ranma. P-chan follows Nabiki into the room
Nabiki: Ranma-kun, I got a letter for you here.
Ranma: who's it from?
Nabiki: it's from Shampoo, she's inviting you to the Nekohanten
for a free meal, all you can eat.
Not being one to pass up free food, Ranma bolts out the door
and races towards the Nekohanten. Before Ranma can get out of
the dojo, he runs into a wet looking Ryouga.
Ranma: what do you want now Ryouga?
Ryouga: I heard that you got a free meal coming to you at the
Nekohanten.
Ranma: so what, that shouldn't concern you.
Ryouga: I believe you owe me a meal, for the instant ramen that
you ate.
Ranma: fine, you can come along with me. Maybe Shampoo will let
you have some with me.
With the verbalization of Shampoo's name, Moose, her sort
of boyfriend pops out of nowhere.
Moose(to Ryouga): Ranma-san, did you say that Shampoo was giving
you a free meal?
Ryouga pauses Moose, so he can face the person that he wants to
speak to, in this case, Ranma.
Moose(to Ranma): I want to come to, so I can see Shampoo. Please
let me come along with you Ryouga.
After several wrong turns, mostly made by Ryouga, and sudden
stops by Moose, when he ran into street signs, Ranma and the
boys pass Tofuu's Clinic, where his father, the Panda, works.
Moose(to the Panda): Tofuu-sensei, Ranma is treating us to
dinner, isn't he a wonderful person. We're
going to the Nekohanten....
Ranma grabs Moose so they can get to the restaurant and the
free feed. The Panda sets down his straw broom, with a sign, and
goes after the boys.
Sign: on a lunch break, back soon....
Finally, the entire group ends up at the Nekohanten, where they
are greeted by Linlin and Ranran.
Linlin and Ranran(together): welcome honored guests! Welcome to
Nekohanten! Would you like to hear
our menu song? Can we find you a
table or booth?
After getting seated, Ranran runs into the kitchen to tell
Shampoo that Ranma has arrived.
Ranran: Shampoo-neichan, Ranma-kun is here.
Shampoo: Whatever took him so long? Here you go Ranran (hands
Ranran a HUGE dish of ramen).
Ranran: I don't think that this will be enough, Shampoo-neichan.
Shampoo: . . . . .
Shampoo looks stunned as Ranran leaves with the ramen. She
knew that Ranma had a big appetite, but, this time he must be
starving from Akane's cooking. About five minutes later, Linlin
comes into the kitchen for more ramen, then Ranran comes back.
About eight or nine servings, Ranma, Ryouga, Moose, and the Panda
are full, so they leave. The Panda, leaves a sign.
Sign: aaah oishii....arigato (that was good, thank you)
The gang returns to the Tendo Dojo, Akane is out in front
waiting for Ranma. She has lost P-chan, and wants everyone to
help find him. Moose however....
Moose(to Akane, as he charges her): Shampoo-san...I love you!!!!
Akane(pounds Moose): baka! I'm Akane!
Ranma(to Akane): ano irokagane, now you know why I don't want you
as my fiancee. you're so violent....
Akane(pounds Ranma, with helpfully placed mallet): Ranma no baka!
Panda(with sign): that was really stupid Ranma.
Akane starts to cry, all of a sudden, a wet P-chan appears.
P-chan: kwee....kweee.....kwee, kwee, kwee
Akane: P-chan, there you are. You had me worried, where were you?
Akane takes P-chan to bed, the Panda puts Ranma to bed and
Moose on the floor of the living room, and then goes to bed
himself.
Later that night, P-chan, in bed with Akane, starts to
have a dream.....After doing her usual thing and watering her
ferns, Akane goes to bed with P-chan, later on, Ranma comes in
through the window with a kettle of hot water.
Ranma(to P-chan): hee hee, I've got you now Ryouga.
P-chan squirms free from Akane's grip and attacks Ranma with
the only weapons that he has, his snout and the deadly martial
art known and practiced only by cute little black piglets,
Oink-Fu!
P-chan(really angry): haiyaaaakweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The key to the fight is not who hits whom, but keeping Akane
from waking up. Unfortunately for Ranma, he can't. Tripping
over something on the floor, he lands on top of Akane, who
wakes up.
Ranma: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, Akane, this isn't what it seems.
Akane: and what is it supposed to look like? (grabs a boken and
starts to clobber Ranma) RANMA NO BAKA!!!
Ranma(in between blows to the head): I(whap!) was(whap!) here
(whap!)looking(whap!)for (whap!) Ryouga(whap!)
Akane(opens window): so, do you see Ryouga here, you blockhead!
(punts Ranma out window) Don't you ever sneak
into my room again, you pervert!
Ranma(as he flies out the window): kawaiikune! Aiiiiiiiieeee!!!!
Ranma crashes to the ground, in much pain. Akane then sees
P-chan crying in the corner.
Akane: oh, poor P-chan. Come here and I'll make you all better.
Damn that Ranma, why does he keep abusing, you P-chan?
As P-chan cuddles up to Akane, she slams the window shut.
Unfortunately for P-chan, she slams it so hard, that she knocks
the kettle of hot water off of the shelf that Ranma had set it
on. As you might expect, the water drenches both P-chan and
Akane.
P-chan: KWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
When Akane opens her eyes, she is cuddling a very wet and very
naked Ryouga, and reacts accordingly.
Akane: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ryouga(really embarrassed): aaaah, Akane-san, I was going to tell
you, uuuuh, can we still be friends,
uuuuum please put down that hammer...
Akane(with hammer): HOW DARE YOU!(pound!)!!! I WAS SLEEPING WITH
YOU(pound!)ALL THIS TIME(pound!)!!! I DON'T
EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN(pound!!!)!!!
RYOUGA NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Without bothering to open the window, Akane launches Ryouga out
the window, but before he can hit the ground, Shampoo comes
swinging by dressed in a Fujimori Bunny suit and catches him
and gives him a kiss. P-chan, however, wakes up frightened,
and struggles all night to get away from Akane.
P-chan: Kweee....
Moose, is tossing and turning on the floor of the dojo,
and he is also dreaming.
Moose: Shampoo-san, where are you? Shampoo-saaaaan....
When Moose puts his glasses on, he sees that he is hovering
over the pond in the Tendo's yard. Moose's looking down forces
conventional gravity to kick in and Moose falls into the pond.
After a few seconds of bubbles, MuuMuu-chan emerges, only to be
captured by Akane.
Akane: oh goody, duck for dinner.
Akane takes the struggling ducking into the house and gives it
to Kasumi, her sister, who just happens to be cooking dinner.
Akane: Kasumi-oneichan, I caught a duck for dinner.
Kasumi: really, that's wonderful. Ranma loves to have sweet and
sour duck.
MuuMuu-chan(afraid for his life):quackquackquackquackquack!
MuuMuu-chan puts up such a struggle that Akane has to tie him
up, while Kasumi sharpens a LARGE knife. Finally the knife
sharp enough, and Kasumi advances toward poor MuuMuu-chan.
Just as the knife is about to strike at poor MuuMuu-chan,
Kasumi is hit by a flying bowl, it's Shampoo, dressed in a
tiger suit no less, to the rescue!!!
Shampoo: leave my MuuMuu-chan alone!!!
Akane(to Shampoo): you interfering bitch, first you want Ranma,
now you want my dinner, take this(throws lots
of plates at Shampoo)
Shampoo easily defeats Akane, and rescues him. After untying
him, she snuggles the duckling.
Shampoo: MuuMuu-chan, I love you.
MuuMuu-chan is happy, but even happy dreams have to end.
Moose discovers that he has tossed and turned himself to the
end of the pond in the Tendo's yard, upon waking, he falls in.
Moose: damn!!!(splash)
Now it Mr. Saotome's turn for a nightmare. Having turned
himself back into his human form, he is sound asleep next to a
snoring Ranma. His dream is one about his wife, and Ranma's
mother, Nodoka. Nodoka has finally caught up to Genma and Ranma
at the Tendo dojo. After seeing what a real man he turned out to
be, she sets off for home in Osaka. Genma is waving goodbye to
Nodoka, while Akane is watering some plants behind him.
Genma: So long dear, Ranma and I might be coming home soon.
As Genma breathes a deep sigh of relief, Ranma comes running
out the front door of the dojo to say goodbye to his mother.
Unfortunately, he runs into Akane and knocks her watering can
out of her hand. The water comes flying out and hits both
Genma and Ranma, triggering their transformations. Nodoka,
turns around to find a wet girl and panda. She is visibly
upset.
Nodoka: So....this is the secret that you've been hiding from me!
I trust you remember your little promise to me Genma.
Genma cannot respond, he is now a panda, but we all hear a very
audible gulp coming from him. Nodoka pulls out a katana and
prepare to shish-k-bob the panda, when all of a sudden, Shampoo
comes riding past on her bike, dressed like a French maid, and
sends Nodoka flying away.
Genma wakes up in a cold sweat. Seeing Ranma sleeping peaceful
next to him annoys him, so he whacks Ranma out into the Tendo
yard, where he rolls into the pond. After all of this, you
think he might wake up? Anyway, Ranma is having a dream of his
very own....
Ranma(to the Panda): nee oyaji, where's Akane?
Panda(with sign): on vacation.
Ranma: damn, and I wanted to practice with her.
Ranma turns and heads into the dojo, where he finds Akane
crying her eyes out.
Ranma(actually sounds concerned): hey Akane what's wrong, weren't
you and the family on vacation?
Akane: yes, we were until yesterday.
Ranma: what happened?
Akane: well, you know that Nabiki-oneechan won a trip to China.
Ranma: yeah, I remember.
Akane: well, dad decided that we all should go camping, so we
went hiking in the mountains.
Ranma: and....come on, tell me what happened.
Akane(crying again): we all got lost. and when I went to go look
for fresh water, I fell into a spring.
Ranma: so you got wet, big deal. You caught a cold and you came
home. Is that all that happened to you?
Akane(grabbing a bucket of water) no you jerk, this happened!
As Akane pours the water on herself, Ranma jumps back in fear.
Akane stands before him transformed....into a man!
Ranma: A...Akane, you went camping in Jhyusenkyou....you found
the Nannuniichuan (the man drowned spring)
Akane: of course I did you dummy! Just look at me, I'm a boy!
Ranma: that's great!
Akane: ..............................
Ranma: did you bring me back any of the water?
Akane: ..............................
Ranma: so I can finally be cured of this stupid curse.
Akane is again on the verge of tears. Ranma realizes how
insensitive he was just acting, but before he can apologize,
Akane takes matters into her own hands.
Akane: you insensitive moron! Why don't you find Shampoo and
marry her! I never want to see you again! RANMA NO BAKA!
As Akane says this, she punts Ranma out of the dojo and into
the waiting arms of Shampoo, who for some reason is dressed in
a Western bridal gown, with P-chan and MuuMuu-chan holding the
end of her train up.
Ranma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ranma's scream wakes him up, only to find himself underwater in
the Tendo pond.
Ranma: shit, what a strange dream!
The next day we find Shampoo running away from Ranma, Ryouga,
and Moose.
Ranma, Ryouga, and Moose: Shampoo-san, I love you!!!
As Shampoo turns a corner by Tofuu-sensei's clinic, she runs
into the Panda, who is carrying some daisies and a sign.
Panda(with sign shaped like a heart): I love Shampoo.
With that Shampoo faints.
T H E E N D
*****************************************************************
Godai: so what is you that you do Akemi
Akemi: I work at the Chachamaru Club, I'm a hostess
Godai: so, you're basically a bimbo that serves drinks.
Akemi: I am not a bimbo!!!!
Yotsuya: Godai-kun, she is a professional bimbo.
--from the manga Maison Ikkoku, sort of translated by p-chan
*****************************************************************
the cute and cuddely p-chan rides again!
like my sig file? then speak up and write to me! send all
comments and flames to p-c...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu