OT..In the Year 2035.

[FOR JAX]

This was sent to me and I thought I'd share it with the NG.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as the California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United
States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6
million.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the
American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known
as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will
take at least ten more years before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now
be imported legally, but Pres Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight
loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil rights.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest
version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation
is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers
must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal
political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex
with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Carpe Diem....jax