"Twas the Night After Christmas" funny

[Strawberry]

'Twas the Night After Christmas By Jeff Foxworthy
=============================== 'Twas the night after Christmas and all
through the trailer, The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The
tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys. And I was camped out on my old
Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, The worst
Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and
neither could I, So I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. When out in
the yard the dog started barkin'. I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff
Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws And I got a complaint
here from a feller named Claus." I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named
Claus, And you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff
he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me,
just what's he look like." The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old
feller, with a big beer gut belly, That shakes when he laughs like a bowl
full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said,
"Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri." "It's no time for jokes
Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I'm describing is dressed all in red. I'm
here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. Tell me what you've done,
tell me what you've seen." Well I started to lie then I thought what the
hell, It wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in
jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten. I thought that my
wife had been drinking again." When she walked in from work she was as white
as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. But she said
that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, And stopped on the roof
of our good neighbour Red. Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me
shudder, A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter. Well my
hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun. When outta Red's chimney this
feller did run. And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought
he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'. So I yelled, "Drop fat
boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn't a
care! So I popped off a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag
and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's
assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court