Dark Musings: 14

[Anonymous]

(14)

This is an accurate record of a time that changed my life, as told
from my point of view. My life has changed yet again since that
time. Writing this has been a healing experience for me, and I
hope that for some who read it, it can serve as an example of some
of the things not often talked about here on ASB.

#####

After we had finished cleaning up from our scene, we cuddled a bit
more and went downstairs.

One thing that was very different in the way Jeffery treated me and
our play that was totally unlike Tom, was the simple fact that
Jeffery wanted to know how I felt and what I liked and did not
like, after the scene.

We would talk about what happened, and he would modify a bit of
what he would do next time based on what I said. Again, a simple
notion, that what I felt should matter--but not one I was used to.

Downstairs, there were several things happening, nothing too
major. One person I had really wanted to meet besides Jeffery was
there, and I was excited to finally get to talk with one of my
heros of ASB. During the course of our conversation, we started to
do a small scene, and I received yet another shock.

It was an incredible feeling sitting there with her and Jeffery,
feeling the flow of power from me to her. I felt completely and
totally safe. Not only did I know she had an excellent reputation,
but Jeffery was there with me, and he would not let anything happen
to me.

As we continued, I felt the power flow between the two of us, my
heroine and I, back and forth. It was fantastic, she was
fantastic, and she gave me an incredible gift that day. For the
first time in my life I really understood the difference between
bottoming and submitting.

When I submit, I give over all of what I am. I expose myself, make
myself vulnerable. Here I was not vulnerable like that, but I
freely gave my power over to her, and she gave it back to me. It
was intense. I know now how a surfer must feel, keeping ahead of
the waves.

She would do something to me, and it would hurt, but I was
determined not to let it get ahead of me, so I rode the wave of
pain, and waited for the next swell.

I hope someday to get to play with her again. It was an honor that
I shall always remember.

During this time, I knew there was yet another dynamic. There was
the dynamic between her and I, and there was one between Jeffery
and the two of us. As Jeffery's slave, he had given me as a gift
to the top, and she was conscious of that gift and respectful of
it. Between Jeffery and I there was something else.

I trusted him, I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, and
yet another element was there. BDSM sexually excites me; I get
very hot, and the desire for sex is incredible. I have always been
interested in making love to a woman, but I am primarily
heterosexual. Also, I was positive that the top was not interested
in me sexually, so, instead of making her the object of my lust, I
found that I wanted Jeffery desperately.

I don't know if he knew how excited I was, but as the scene ended,
and I hugged the top, Jeffery indicated that we were going to go to
the hotel.

When we got back to the hotel, we once again fell into bed and a
mad frenzy of lovemaking. I could not get enough of this man, I
wanted him desperately. All of him, and he gave me so much.

Dark