Astronomy or wife??
Vincent Kee
I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
refractor 3 months ago.
Hey..teach me your tricks!!
Vincent
Johannes Bonse
Try to get her hooked to that hobby of us. She will want her own scope!
Johannes.
Peter
telescope collector?
Bob OLeary
that they don`t bitch quite as much,you should have heard my wife when the ups guy showed up with
the 5"refractor ,I already have a 10"LX50
--
Bob O`Leary Lincoln MT wea...@linctel.net
Rod Mollise
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
>Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
>Vincent
HI Vincent:
I'll tell you what worked for me: divorce! :-)
My ex-wife was horrible where astronomy was concerned. She was the _only_
person I've ever heard tell of who, on her first look at M42 said, "Well, that
looks like s__t!" No joke.
My current wife is very understanding, interested and involved in amateur
astronomy. That's the perfect solution.
The other solution (if divorce/breaking up doesn't appeal to you) is to try a
little _compromise_. You want the new Ultima? Well, your girlfriend gets
something nice, too. Of course, you have to exercise a little common sense,
too. If you've just lost your job, you don't want to be buying fluorite
refractors! But, assuming household resources will support your 'habit,' what
you want to do is explain to the spouse/significant other how important
astronomy is to you, and why you need this piece of gear. When you get the new
scope, make sure she is involved in using it too. At least MAKE THE EFFORT to
get her out there once in a while, take her with you to star parties, etc.
Running things this way will be much more pleasant, you'll find.
Oh, and let me say this, this is NOT a boy/girl kind of thing. WOMAN amateurs
have just as much trouble justifying their purchases to the 'little man.'
Peace,
Rod Mollise
Mobile Astronomical Society
http://members.aol.com/RMOLLISE/index7.html
The Home of _From City Lights to Deep Space_:
Rod's Guidebook for the _Urban_ Deep Sky NUT!!
*********************************************************
Kathryn Taylor
course you could just save your fingers some extra effort and write partner
or something like that. Sorry, I hate to be picky but sometimes that sort of
thing just shits me. By the way, try saving up extra hard and by her
something at the same time. You never know it might actually work! Enjoy the
new scope if you get it.
Cheers Kath.
Matt Leo
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
> Vincent
Vincent --
Your **girlfriend** is already doing this to you? You need serious help,
fast. Uncle Matt is here to provide.
Now ladies, this post is for men only. Of course I harbor _no_ chauvanist
ideas that some topics are appropriate for men but not women, but as you know
men have a difficult time expressing their feelings in public and especially
in front of women. They need a safe space to let their stunted capacity for
emotional expression to sprout, and eventually blossom. You can stop reading
right here; suffice to say the rest of this message has tips for men to
identify and cope with certain feelings, salted with a few financial
management tips so commonsensical that no women would need to hear them.
*
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Ok, here's how you do it.
In my experience it requires great preparation to acquire expensive and
conspicuously large items. Marital bliss and aperture fever are not readily
miscible. Indeed, to some degree you might have better luck with smaller,
more expensive OTAs, since (unreasonably) sheer bulk can trigger the
"spendthrift" alarm. With your girlfriend, who presumably doesn't have
direct access to your bank account yet, you might be able to get a nice
Takahashi refractor, but even a moderately sized Dobsonian is going to put
you in the dog house.
Patience and a modicum of "sweat equity" are required. You must
conspicuously wait for your purchase for a decent period. Conspicuous is
very important. Your woman will steadfastly and, yes, self-righteously deny
you anything you want if here spendthrift alarm is actuated, but if you are
denying yourself, feelings of guilt will eventually arise. These feelings
must be cultivated like a prize orchid.
Get a catalog, circle the scope you want, and spend a lot of time gazing at
it where she can see you. Extra catalog copies, dogeared and left in the
bathroom and other places she may encounter them by chance, are a nice touch.
Sighing may help, but it could be dangerous; you want to show that your are
steadfastly denying yourself, not that you are (as you really are) a spoiled
brat. My advice is not to sigh in front of her, but to have her _catch_ you
sighing behind her back. Indeed, she must never suspect that you are putting
on a show for her benefit. Indeed, in all probability you AREN'T putting on
a show for her benefit, but she must nonetheless never get the impression
that your ARE.
Following this general program, you should have some nice guilt feelings in
six or eight weeks, sometimes a little longer if your woman is a hard case
(like your **girlfriend** must be). In the meantime, you buy accessories. A
complete set of Naglers may cost more than your scope, but they're less
likely to set of alarm bells because they're small and inconspicuous. Now,
it's important to get these on the sly, and _never_ make a big deal over how
great they are within earshot. This is where it is important to patronize
your local astronomy shop. Use a supermarket that allows you to drop into
your astronomy shop when you're going out for milk. Make your purchases in
cash. Make the most of this opportunity, because once you get your scope
it'll be so long before she lets you have money you'll forget what it looks
like.
It's hard to make a generalization about when to strike on the OTA and
mount. Again, bulk accounts for as much, if not more than actual cost, and
since these are the bulkiest acquisitions you are going to make you have to
time them carefully. Guilt over denying things to their men is _not_ a state
that comes naturally to most women, and it cannot be sustained even by
extraordinary measures. On the other hand, the very unnaturalness of this
state makes it a powerful motivator. When you have these feelings screwed up
to a fine pitch you may find you can make purchases that even leave _you_
feeling pretty sheepish. However, you may have no more than a few days.
Watch closely for signs of changed behavior. Is she surreptitiously trying
to catch you mooning over your catalogs? It's a good bet she's keeping a
tally, so stay the course and whatever you do don't try to pile it on too
thick. Better yet, is she offering you "replacements", like those Fuji
binoculars you've been drooling over? As tempting as it may be, you must
refuse these little treats. You are being tested for your financial soundness
-- while you must accept her "offers" warmly, you must betray not the
slightest interest in the replacement objects she is conceding to you.
You may be able to pull this off on the basis of skillful cultivation alone,
but again with particularly hard cases, this may not be enough. This is
where a concept I call "manly bucks" comes into play. Let's say your back
porch needs to be rebuilt, and its going to cost you 2000 to get a carpenter
to do it. You can do it yourself and save 2000 US dollars. Under normal
circumstances, this translates into 0 manly bucks (although you can get a lot
of nice power tools as long as you use them in some vague way on the
project). A precious opportunity squandered! However, with the treatment I
outlined above, you could easily earn six, eight, maybe even ten thousand
manly bucks. These are immediately redeemable for toys of the same face
value in US currency. It follows that if there are any home projects to be
done, you should find pretext not to undertake them until you can complete
them at just the right time.
Follow this simple program, and your relationship can be both happy _and_
fulfilling.
I hope this helps.
-- Uncle Matt
Andy Wallace
than the husband and wants "equality", letting her buy her own toys?? :)
Rod Mollise wrote:
>
> >I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> >with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> >manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> >girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> >thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> >refractor 3 months ago.
> >
> >Hey..teach me your tricks!!
> >
> >Vincent
>
Michael A. Covington
amateur astronomy -- not much; actually it's a loss in some years; but my
book does earn enough that I can justify spending money on astronomy.
--
Michael A. Covington / AI Center / The University of Georgia
http://www.ai.uga.edu/~mc http://www.CovingtonInnovations.com <><
Michael A. Covington
understand why your hobbies are important to you. Why would she like you if
she doesn't like the things you're interested in? Either (1) she views
herself as a competitor who must take all your attention and resources away
from everything else; or (2) she cares more about her status as your lover
than about *you*, i.e., you are a status symbol for her; or (3) she's rather
shallow and doesn't actually know you very well.
I have a most excellent wife (http://www.CovingtonInnovations.com/melody)
who, although she never took up astronomy on her own, enjoys observing with
me. She is an avid photographer and has other technical interests, and that
helps a great deal. I wouldn't have married someone with no technical or
specialized interests of any kind. Such a person would have been constantly
out of step with me.
In cases of minor misunderstanding, it's important to let your wife or
girlfriend know what it's like to *use* a telescope, i.e., that telescopes
are not just expensive collector's items. (Or are they? :)
David Hidding
A very funny post!
Andy Wallace
every few years.
"Michael A. Covington" wrote:
>
> Another thing that helps in my case is that, technically, I make money off
> amateur astronomy -- not much; actually it's a loss in some years; but my
> book does earn enough that I can justify spending money on astronomy.
Matt Leo
> I would say that you shouldn't get involved with a woman who does not
> understand why your hobbies are important to you.
Well, do you have kids? It makes a big difference. I think it's be cool when
mine are eight or nine years old and can go out with dad, but now I have one
three year old and a one year old who gets up at 5:30 - 6 AM. It's kind of
tough to stay up til 3:AM and sleep late when somebody has to get up early.
You have to keep perspective. On the grand scale of things, hobbies are pretty
low on the totem pole right now. Sleep is higher. Saving for college is
higher. So, I do my observing with binocs and a small refractor.
Steven Reecy
I was kind of in the same predicament, but it ended well. My solution to
you is that you should build a scope! The refractor is awfully cool, and
don't kick it out of bed. Now you need some aperture for those rare
occassions that you wander from your backyard to a dark site. Building a
Dob worked for me (although I'm not quite done), because I could buy a few
pieces at a time, and that seemed to go over better. Occassionally, I'd
need a tool, but my wife didn't object to me buying tools, because I'd
argue that "I'll have them for life".
This technique seemed to work for me because she saw me putting in "sweat
equity", so she figured, "he must really want it", and "he's saving money
by building it". That last part about saving money isn't necessarily
true, because you will want to use better components, so the net result
may cost more than a Orion/Celestron/Meade dob, but the scope will be so
much better. Do follow this piece of advice though...Its probably less
costly to build a tube style than a truss since most of the components are
sized for one (unless you build a real monster).
You can also buy motors, and goto systems. Orion sells a little goto
computer for your Dob. It doesn't actually point the dob, but it has a
readout that shows you which way to point it. That might be less hassle
than installing a drive, and dealing with batteries.
Here's the ironic part. AFter taking my wife to the dark site, where the
other amateur astronomers hang out, she was really impressed by some of
the equipment. She told me that I could probably get a telescope with all
the bells and whistles if I stay in the hobby for another few years (I
jump around alot in my hobbies).
But my feeling is, that everyone should have one smaller backyard scope,
and one big dob. And if you get a goto system before you learn where the
best viewing is, you're cheating yourself. Learn the sky, then get the
fancy computers.
Steve
Vincent Kee (kw...@singnet.com.sg) wrote:
: Hi..
: I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
: with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
: manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
: girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
: thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
: refractor 3 months ago.
: Hey..teach me your tricks!!
: Vincent
--
________________________________________________________________________
Steven Reecy, P.E., MBA Wanna-be, State Quarter Buff,Amateur Astromomer
Happily Tinkering With a '65 VW Beetle and Restoring a '56 Oval Ragtop
_________________________________________________________________________
Geo
>
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
> Vincent
This is a very good question. First, I'm sorry that your girlfriend is
giving you such a hard time about this. You ain't seen nothing yet.
Just wait till you get married. Anyway, my spouse thinks astronomy is
ok as long as I don't spend money on it. Therefore, my method is to
make occasional visits to the ATM and take out some "spending money" for
lunches, milk, bread, stealth astronomy purchases, etc. I make my
purchases via money order and have the packages delivered to my work
address. My wife is none the wiser...and we are all better off for it.
Of course, this works only for smaller purchases. I wouldn't feel real
comfortable having an LX200 delivered to my office. For now my needs
are simply eyepieces, filters, etc...small stuff that doesn't need to be
delivered to my house and arouse unnecessary suspicion of "frivolous
spending".
Vincent Kee
Somehow although she doesn't like me to buy more telescopes....she actually
encourage me to buy your book after I stared at it for a long time at the
local bookstore here in Singapore (it is expensive here but is worth the
money!!).
I appreciate all the tips that has been given here especially the long post
by Uncle Matt. Umm...maybe since I can't buy that Ultima now..maybe I should
just consolidate some good eyepieces (since they are not so obvious....as
what Uncle Matt say). Anyway..I do bring her along the astronomy
trips...just that she got asleep long before I got to my object...umm..maybe
I should use that excuse to buy a GOTO....
Vincent
Michael A. Covington wrote in message
<7rlkdr$uq7$1...@nntp4.atl.mindspring.net>...
Palle B. Strom
> Vincent,
>
> Try to get her hooked to that hobby of us. She will want her own scope!
>
> Johannes.
>
> Vincent Kee wrote:
> >
> > Hi..
> >
> > I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> > with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> > manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> > girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> > thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> > refractor 3 months ago.
> >
> > Hey..teach me your tricks!!
> >
> > Vincent
Hi Vincent,
Now what you need to do is to determine if your girlfriend is the type (Most
common type) who is actually incapable of appreciating the wonders of the
cosmos and the instruments it takes. If she is, and becomes emotional/hostile
and will not join you under the dark skies, well, you have only one option, go
to several star parties, find another girlfriend. Don't forget that if she is
dominating while just a girlfriend she will be completely intolerable as a
wife. Dump her! or your future hobby will be fixing things around the house.
Good Luck
Oh, I have been married for 25 years and is lucky that my wife is very tolerant
of what she consider my male childishness and infatuation with astronomy. I own
four telescopes, autoguiders, a CCD and cases full of accessories. When she
asked how much I paid I simply answered "Just a few hundred bucks". You just
try to buy a Takahashi for a few hundred bucks!, a 10" SCT, a CCD, autoguider,
a selection of eyepieces and all kinds of "stuff". She has no idea what this
all cost, and that works for me. I mention this as a fall-back-solution should
you not meet an astronomy infatuated woman at the star parties you obviously
need to start attending.
Good luck
Michael Covington
news:WRrD3.17332$ei1....@newsfeeds.bigpond.com...
> Interesting that you didn't include husband/boyfriend in that question. Of
> course you could just save your fingers some extra effort and write
partner
> or something like that. Sorry, I hate to be picky but sometimes that sort
of
Although I answered the question as it was asked -- and from my own
viewpoint, since I'm a man -- you have a very good point. Far too many men
seem to think a wife is (1) a status symbol and (2) a housekeeper, and not
much else! Wives who have specialized interests other than homemaking
simply don't fit into many people's picture.
Ian Turner
<kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote:
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
>Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
>Vincent
>
Vincent
U have to look at it like this. Does your wife / girlfriend get what
she want's? Do you provide for your family or is anyone deprived?
If you can afford it than money shouldn't be an issue. Just having the
spare time.
Ian
Astrophoto & CCD Imaging techniques
http://www.mindspring.com/~skyshooter/
Rockett Crawford
Michael Covington wrote:
Agreed. A long time ago, I used to be amazed that there were women
who took a week of vacation away from their husbands to go to a star party,
but now it seems like no big deal. There are a few that we see every year at
the Texas Star Party that we have a good time with either observing or
playing Trivia on cloudy nights.
As far as scope expenditures, my wife and I have our finances worked
out where we never get into arguments about money, although our
arrangement may seem bizarre to some. We treat our finances as though
we are just roommates.
We each pay for half of our common bills and the mortgage. What's left
is our own business as far as what we spend it on.
take care,
Rockett Crawford
John Steinberg
Provided you're not using her cash or credit card, I'd say you need to rethink
your relationship.
My wife actually encourages me to spend whatever I wish, and does so without
any quid pro quo. Seeing how much enjoyment I derive from the pursuit, and
realizing the gear holds its value quite well, she would prefer I spend more
and be satisfied then end up second guessing my choices.
On the other hand, if your girlfriend is waiting for you to 'pop the question'
and she sees each new scope taking her further and further away from her
engagement ring, you are just plain out of luck, pal!
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours??
John
(Now in late alpha) The Unofficial NexStar5 Resource Site
http://members.xoom.com/nexstar
Andy Wallace
Michael Covington
(Most
> common type) who is actually incapable of appreciating the wonders of the
> cosmos and the instruments it takes. If she is, and becomes
emotional/hostile
> and will not join you under the dark skies, well, you have only one
option, go
> to several star parties, find another girlfriend. Don't forget that if she
is
> dominating while just a girlfriend she will be completely intolerable as a
> wife. Dump her! or your future hobby will be fixing things around the
house.
Touche'! Misery and divorce are best prevented before the wedding :) :)
The newly founded University of Georgia Astronomy Club seems to be about 80%
female. Obviously, women who like astronomy exist. More seriously, nobody
should marry someone who doesn't share their interests -- at least
qualitatively, if not in detail. My wife and I have somewhat different
technical interests, but we both have them, and that's the point -- each of
us has some idea why the other one does what they do.
(Hmm, that sentence strains the bounds of English grammar...)
Dennis Gaunt
me out of the house for a few hours :-).
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
| Dennis D. Gaunt | Internet: dga...@uhl.uiowa.edu |
| The University of Iowa | Voice: (319) 335-4500 |
| Oakdale Research Campus | FAX: (319) 335-4555 |
| Iowa City, Iowa 52242 | |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve Paterson
Vincent Kee wrote in message <7rlcr3$8ki$1...@mango.singnet.com.sg>...
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
>Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
>Vincent
>
>
Simple - show her Saturn!
As with all my other interests, I go on and on and on ... to such a point
that I make even very interesting things seem extremely boring to my wife.
However, I got Saturn in my new refractor, called her out (she came!) and
she thought I'd dangled a cardboard model somewhere. She couldn't believe
what she saw.
Now I'm getting absolutely bombarded with questions about the planets.
She's even memorised the order of them and keeps asking me to test her!
Brill!
Oh yes, to answer your question - lie about the price! Always works for me.
I don't worry about it because I know she's economical with the truth when
the question "How many shoes do you have?" comes up.
Steve
Bill the sketcher
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
Well Vincent, one thing to NOT do is consider a new telescope purchase
after just buying one 3 months ago! Such impulsive buying is looked
upon as a sign of immaturity (or worse, see below) by some girlfriends
and wives.
Trick #1: Use what you have and use it until it hurts (of course, you
already knew this). If you don't use the one you have, how do you
expect her to believe you'll use the one you don't have?
Trick #2: Be patient.
BEWARE: Some girls are aware of the 1989 study by Eberson & Marlink
that correlate frequent telescope purchases with spousal infidelity.
Yes, that's right! The man who gets bored quicky with a new telescope
tends to be the same man who gets bored quickly with the same woman.
They're never satisfied with what they have. They're always driven to
a newer (or younger) sexier model. Who would have guessed?
Disclaimer: I ain't no counseler, so take this free advice/lecture to
be worth what you paid for it!
| Bill
| the sketcher
| decades of inexperience fumbling in the dark
| (Insert "dna" between "r" and "l" for a viable address.)
Andy Wallace
many scopes?? :)
David Kates
than enthusiastic view on their husbands "hobbies". Of course, back then,
you could build a telescope for a few sheckels (sp). What did Newton's wife
say when the 'ol man disappeared for an evening? <g>. Just a thought.
David
Rockett Crawford
I don't think Newton ever got married. Of course this makes if far
more difficult to explain why he went mad late in his life. :^)
Rockett
Rockett Crawford
Andy Wallace wrote:
> Does your wife have a single sister?? :)
<laughing>
Yes, as a matter of fact she does. She is a recent divorcee.
It seems her husband was also an amateur astronomy fanatic
who curiously never had anything for years other than a pair of
binoculars, but has recently bought himself a 12 inch LX200.
<joking>
Rockett
David Paul
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
1. Girlfriend <> wife. Buy BEFORE you get married. This also includes
firearms, motorcycles, etc.
2. Telescope will last years. How much does she spend on makeup? clothes?
shoes?
3. Point out that with a telescope, she will know where you are at night,
and what you are doing.
4. Timing is everything. Wait until she's in a good mood.
5. Your girlfriend will probably mellow-out and be much less demanding
AFTER you get married. NOT!!!!
Think about it......
Michael Covington
> many scopes?? :)
Or me, using the same Celestron 5 since 1980 and Meade LX3 since 1986? :)
Gene Lewis
about my LX-200 purchase, and the fact that after it arrived, I only
used it a couple of times a week. It got to the point that I couldn't
take the constant harassment ('it's ugly', 'come to bed NOW!', 'I hope
it rains', etc), so I sold the thing. It's a short time after the
divorce now.
I just ordered a 5" refractor on a GOTO mount, and a ton of astrophoto
gear. Life is soon to be grand again.........
On Tue, 14 Sep 1999 06:53:37 -0600, "Bob OLeary" <wea...@linctel.net>
wrote:
>I`ts my experience that if you but them an item of similar value(you can lose recites and lie here)
>that they don`t bitch quite as much,you should have heard my wife when the ups guy showed up with
>the 5"refractor ,I already have a 10"LX50
Ix
Your question seems a little odd to me. Or maybe strange is the right
word, as if it doesn't readily fit into the puzzle, so to speak, that
I make of the world. First of all you recently bought a scope which by
incident is very near the same class as the scope I've bought. (Intes
Micro MN56) Personaly I bought this scope under the pretext that I
would somewhere down the line get a bigger scope and that this scope
will fit in with the bigger scope with it's portabillity and quality.
However I do not use it under the pretext that "when I get a bigger
scope then things are seriousely going to rock." It has its own nerve.
Watching the stars is special in some obscure way no matter how it's
done. It catches your imagination.
Now, that was personal and I don't want to inflict this reasoning upon
you. But, I do believe that you may have some sort of feeling,
experience, som sort of wonder connected with viewing the stars, am I
right. The point is, your girlfriend does not.
the Ultima 2000 is highly desireable for shure, but the prospect of
buying one three months after purchase of another scope is ridiculous
at best, and griveously unfair at worst in the eyes of the
uninitiated.
Vincent, it is possible that you have become a victim of the most
powerfull (acording to Terry Jones) force in the human race. The
desire for a free upgrade. Take a deep breath.
I noticed that you still call the Girl you r girlfriend and that you
actually ask her to accept your decissions involving money of the lack
thereoff. So I can assume that you still love her and whatever plans
you have for the future at least to some extent involve her presence.
Ok. Obviousely you have some repair to do.
May I suggest a dinner out? No, I meant with you girlfriend. Forget
your scope for the time being.
Then, the next weekend or the one after, when you two have no other
plans.
Is it possible for you to set up your scope unnoticed in the garden?
Put on your spacesuit (mark'n'spencer) and a tie, go in to her and say
like "hi darling, come, I want to show you something." Make shure she
is well clad and won't freeze. Then there's wine there, a little music
over there. You tell here some poetry, show here the moon at low power
50-60x. then you sweep the floor with her and she tells you how
romantic you are, and so on... :)
Hehe, ok. the the point is to give her a good experience under the
stars, to catch her imagination.
Maybe next time you will be allowed to show her a few messier objects.
When she really gets an interest and want her own scope you must tell
her "no, no, absolutely not!"
Then you must pretend to be really guilty under which pretext you buy
her the biggest scope you can afford. :)
God luck
Tormod
:)(:
On Tue, 14 Sep 1999 19:50:10 +0800, "Vincent Kee"
<kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote:
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
Gene Lewis
up, look at it, shake your head, and say " This is just too much! I am
SO SORRY, honey. I'm out of control. PLEASE help me". Have her help
pack it up, and ship it back (Ship it anywhere, who cares?) Then,
apologize for your inconsideration, and order a little Takahashi.
Problem solved.
>"spendthrift" alarm. With your girlfriend, who presumably doesn't have
>direct access to your bank account yet, you might be able to get a nice
>Takahashi refractor, but even a moderately sized Dobsonian is going to put
>you in the dog house.
>
Chris Troudt
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
Use a little counter-phsychology. When I wanted a new EP,
my wife commented that I certainly must have enough of them
already. Last time my wife went shopping and came home with
a bunch of new clothes, I opened our closet, pointed to her
"side" (80% of the closet is hers, 20% is mine) and asked
if she might not have enough already.
~CT~
Rockett Crawford
Excellent post. Bravo. <applause>
Is there an sci.astro.amateurwivesof newsgroup we can forward this
post to?
Rockett
Rockett Crawford
Gene Lewis wrote:
> GREAT IDEA!!!! Order a big honkin' piece of Sonotube. When it shows
> up, look at it, shake your head, and say " This is just too much! I am
> SO SORRY, honey. I'm out of control. PLEASE help me". Have her help
> pack it up, and ship it back (Ship it anywhere, who cares?) Then,
> apologize for your inconsideration, and order a little Takahashi.
> Problem solved.
>
Another scenerio could be a 30 inch Tectron dobsonian for the
first scope, send it back, and then order a "little" CG-11. :^)
take care,
Rockett Crawford
Linda Chuang
see my posting .....astronomy or husband? sept 14.
-**** Posted from RemarQ, http://www.remarq.com/?a ****-
Search and Read Usenet Discussions in your Browser - FREE -
rburns
Tell her it could be worse -- much worse.
1) Show her the editorial in the Oct. issue of Sky and Telescope. Compared to
the author, unless we own at least two of everything, we all merely dabble in
telescope accumulation.
2) Tell that the telescope is not only a lot cheaper than having a baby, and
she doesn't have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to change its diaper.
3) Compare your telescope accessories to her makeup/jewelry/clothing
accessories -- dangerous area. Go carefully.
4) Compared to other male-dominated hobbies, such as fishing (boat, motor,
trailer) hunting (guns, ammunition, pc-uncorrectness, safaris) drinking
(booze, liver transplants, bail, attorney fees) or womanizing (alimony, child
support, sexual harrassment suits), astronomy is (can be) a relatively
inexpensive, environmentally friendly hobby.
5) Call it a health-related. This is probably the least stretch of all
spin-doctoring excuses. In my case, being a sometimes insominac, I can go out
in the backyard in the middle of the night instead of pestering my wife. My
blood pressure goes down. My resting heart rate drops. Of course, all you
really need to realize the health benefits is a pair of good binoculars and
clear skies, but don't tell her that.
R. Burns
Vincent Kee wrote:
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
> Vincent
Tdcarls
look into my scope. But, I get absolutely no flack whatsoever about going
outside to observe or go to some event. She has her interests, I have mine.
She gets enjoyment out of her's, I do out of mine. As long as each of us is
happy, the other is happy.
The only time she'll whine a bit is when I go away for the weekend to her
parents (who live in mag 6.5 skies) and she can't come for whatever reason. Of
course, she's not unhappy that I've gone away, it's that she can't come to
visit with her mother.
Todd
Allan Mayer
(Rod Mollise) writes:
>I'll tell you what worked for me: divorce! :-)
Yeah.... That does work.....
Worked for me, when I was buying massive ammounts
of plastic models. That and being on a pistol team, really
got to her.
I think what really get's to spouses is the *size* of what
you buy. Plastic models, she thought were kid's stuff.
Plus, you can sneak them in a box or two at a time.
Problem is that after a while, you cant hide a hundred
plus boxes, and they seemed to propagate all by
themselves.
Gun's she never knew how much they cost, so she
never worried. You can hide 'em, but time spent
practicing/competing, did me in.
When she saw the ammount of stereo eqiupment I
brought in one day, she freaked. (then smashed it......)
I'd hate to think what she'd of done if she saw the size
of the boxes my G11 came in.
Funny thing. is that we get along better now, than ever before.
Allan
http://members.aol.com/Thetabat/hello.html
"Only a Gentleman can insult me, and a true Gentleman never will..."
Matt Leo
Gene Lewis wrote in message <37e19ed5...@news.easynews.com>...
>GREAT IDEA!!!! Order a big honkin' piece of Sonotube. When it shows
>up, look at it, shake your head, and say " This is just too much! I am
>SO SORRY, honey. I'm out of control. PLEASE help me". Have her help
>pack it up, and ship it back (Ship it anywhere, who cares?) Then,
>apologize for your inconsideration, and order a little Takahashi.
>Problem solved.
Gene! Brilliant work! You can go to the head of the class.
Be careful though. If you're TOO pathetic, she may decide you need to be
reformed. THAT's likely to entail more supervision than you might like. The
sweet spot in male-female relationships is where she decides you're
incorrigble, but she can manage to live with you somehow.
-- Uncle Matt
Matt Leo
Palle B. Strom wrote in message <37DE7C0C...@cwo.com>...
>Now what you need to do is to determine if your girlfriend is the type
(Most
>common type) who is actually incapable of appreciating the wonders of the
>cosmos and the instruments it takes.
Y'know, my wife is a physcist, so she's perfectly capable of appreciating
the wonders of the universe, she just doesn't like to stay up late and
shiver in the cold. On the plus side, she tolerates and even participates
in my other hobby (martial arts), and never mentions the sword and spear
gouges in the ceiling and walls of our living room.
Most importantly, she instantly grasps my sense of humor, and usually finds
it funny. There's nothing you can't get through if you can manage a good
laugh.
sensory surfer
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures
Sounds like a classic case of scope envy.
I've got 3 words for ya:
Separate Bank Accounts!!!!!
Seriously, there's no reason why anybody should put up with any grief
over any purchase, providing that bills are being paid, needs are
being taken care of, retirement planned for and contributed to. If
you're diverting necessary living funds from somewhere to buy
something merely hobby related, then you've got a problem. But if
you've got your expenses (and future expenses) covered, then, frankly,
it's not your mate's buisness what you do with any excess $$.
If you want toys you have trouble affording, work overtime or take on
sidework. Don't ever, ever use needed household funds for hobby stuff
that might exclude the other partner. Money is too easy to obtain to
argue over. Never, ever, fight about $$. If your partner doesn't feel
this way, then trust me when I say that you've got a much greater
likihood of finding another compatible partner, than you do of being
happy with a non-understanding control freak.
ss.
>
Eric Greene
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
>Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
>Vincent
>
Battle? Why battle? Find an accommodating partner and all will be
well. My wife is fully supportive of my astronomy hobby. In fact,
when I finally bought a bigger telescope, her only comment was, "It's
about time!"
She doesn't mind my heading out for the Winter Star Party for a week
or some of the other, shorter star parties. Just as I fully support
her trips for CME (Continuing Medical Education). She's been out to
Hawaii, San Diego and San Francisco for CME in the past couple of
years.
We would love to make these trips together, but we still have a young
lady at home. Once she is out the door, I expect we will be doing
star parties and CME time together. Until then, I support her
endeavors and she mine.
Iron these things out before entering a more permanent relationship!
As for money, come up with a hobby fund that you both can live with.
It might only be $10 out of your paycheck, but it will build up
quickly for those expensive purchases. The money is already earmarked
for things astronomical, so there can be no argument when you decide
to buy that big AP refractor with the fund.
I agree with others on here that the ideal relationship would be one
where both partners share the love of astronomy. It just doesn't
happen very often. Be as supportive of your S.O.'s hobbies as you
would expect your S.O. to be of yours. It will all work out. My wife
has absolutely no interest in astronomy and I have none in her hobbies
of growing orchids and bonsai in her greenhouse. Not being interested
does NOT mean I am not supportive.
Eric Greene
e...@america.net
The Unofficial C-8 Homepage
http://www.america.net\~erg
The Star Party Web
http://people.atl.mediaone.net/ergreen/starparty.htm
David Nakamoto
solution; total abstinence from women altogether.
David Kates wrote:
>
> I wonder if out past great astonomers had girlfriends//wives who
> took a less than enthusiastic view on their husbands "hobbies".
> Of course, back then, you could build a telescope for a few sheckels
> (sp). What did Newton's wife say when the 'ol man disappeared for
> an evening? <g>. Just a thought.
>
> David
--
------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweeping cobwebs from the edges of my mind
Had to get away to see what we could find
Hope the days that lie ahead bring us back to where they've led
Listen not to what's been said to you
--- Graham Nash
Name: David I. Nakamoto
E-mail: din@blankreg (David I. Nakamoto)
--------------------------------------------------------
Rockett Crawford
David Nakamoto wrote:
> The guy was a virgin for Christ's Sake, and PROUD of it! He had the
> solution; total abstinence from women altogether.
>
And despite this being common knowledge, most people still
mistakenly instead think that he was hailed as a genius for his
work in physics.
<joke>
Rockett Crawford
Andy Wallace
David Nakamoto wrote:
>
> The guy was a virgin for Christ's Sake, and PROUD of it! He had the
> solution; total abstinence from women altogether.
>
Jim & Cathy Walling
just picked up a 7mm Nagler and 2.5X Powermate at a recent star party.
Forgiveness I will be needing, but man was it worth it!
Clear Skies
Jim
Eric Greene <e...@america.net> wrote in article
<acneN8bmiAd44g...@4ax.com>...
Linda Chuang
Now what you need to do is to determine if your girlfriend is the type (Most
common type) who is actually incapable of appreciating the wonders of the
cosmos and the instruments it takes.
that if she is dominating while just a girlfriend she will be
completely intolerable as a wife. Dump her! or your future hobby will
be fixing things around the house.
When she asked
how much I paid I simply answered "Just a few hundred bucks". You just
try to buy a Takahashi for a few hundred bucks!, a
10" SCT, a CCD, autoguider, a selection of eyepieces and all kinds of
"stuff". She has no idea what this all cost, and that
works for me.
In response:
Vincent, you should definitely avoid this advice. This is the type of
thing that keeps women away from astronomy. Don't stoop so low
as to lie to get your way. It will come and haunt you one day.
LC.
Mike Dumas
Vincent Kee wrote:
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
Tell her you'll let her choose...
1) Interest and spending money on looking at the stars.
2) Interest and spending money at looking at other women.
;)
After she calms down to the 'things could be worse reality'
get her interested in astro too.
Its worked for me for the last 17 years with hobbies.
mike
Mike Dumas
Why Astro is better than a woman...
1) A telescope doesn't get jealous when you handle and use another Telescope.
2) Telescopes don't get headaches.
3) Once you get a Telescope, its yours to use, loan, swap or sell as you
wish.
4) The more Telescopes the better.
5) A Telescope will let you sleep late, or all day, on weekends.
6) A Telescope will never complain about anything.
mike
Paul Gustafson
Mike Dumas <mi...@vci.net> wrote in message news:37DF09C3...@vci.net...
7) You can see clearly through a telescope
Paul Gustafson
convertible, and a lot safer (for me) than a hot 20 year old blonde. :-)
Paul
Frez
has low periodic error. :>)
Frez
> mike
>
Vince
>
> Why Astro is better than a woman...
>
> 1) A telescope doesn't get jealous when you handle and use another
Telescope.
>
> 2) Telescopes don't get headaches.
>
> 3) Once you get a Telescope, its yours to use, loan, swap or sell as you
> wish.
>
> 4) The more Telescopes the better.
>
> 5) A Telescope will let you sleep late, or all day, on weekends.
>
> 6) A Telescope will never complain about anything.
>
>
> mike
7. You'd PROUDLY let your best friend give your new 'scope a tryout....
8. Telescopes are SUPPOSED to get cold after dark...
9. A telescope never dumps you & goes home with another astronomer...
10. A telescope doesn't care if you cut your observing session short...
John J. Kasianowicz
Andy Wallace wrote in message <37DE5AB5...@home.com>...
>And take a tax deduction for the equipment! :) Just make some profit
>every few years.
Hey, is it true that one can claim an AP Traveler as a dependent on the
1040? ~;^)
Paul Schlyter
David Kates <rune....@home.com> wrote:
> I wonder if out past great astonomers had girlfriends//wives who took
> a less than enthusiastic view on their husbands "hobbies". Of course,
> back then, you could build a telescope for a few sheckels (sp). What
> did Newton's wife say when the 'ol man disappeared for an evening? <g>.
> Just a thought.
and Mechain's competition in discovering nebulae, Messier didn't
mourn her very much, but instead was annoued because the duries
around the funeral robbed him of some potential chances to discover
some deep-sky objects before Mechain.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Schlyter, Swedish Amateur Astronomer's Society (SAAF)
Grev Turegatan 40, S-114 38 Stockholm, SWEDEN
e-mail: pau...@saaf.se paul.s...@ausys.se pa...@inorbit.com
WWW: http://hotel04.ausys.se/pausch http://welcome.to/pausch
Thierry Lombry
"Vincent Kee" <kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote:
> Hi..
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to
> "battle" with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures
> and how you manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite
> scope of yours??
> My girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her
> I am thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a
> 120mm refractor 3 months ago.
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
Hi Vincent,
I think this is not the good method ; be diplomate ! ;^)
I had some money left, not many.
To begin I offered to my wife a small refractor 60/700 that I 'm using
from time to time with her as thgis is not always easy for her to find
the object in the EP, but she progresses.
She appreciates very much looking at the Planets and the Moon, even
stars (she looked at Saturn for the first time some weeks ago at 32 old
and give me her impression : Whaow !).
So I was sure she will not "strangle" me in the future (for that reason
at least !)
BUT I hope to buy in a near future a larger one and "diving in the deep
spaceé again as I did some dozen years ago.
I first thinked to buy a very portable scope, the ETX125, then I
selected the Nextsar5 (still somewhere in my mind), but their potential
is probably insufficient for me, even if I don't observe every days or
week.
Then I was interested in the LX10, LX50 or Celestar but now, due to
their price once equipped with their best coating, computerization, etc
I think seriously buying a sct or mak of 12" (300mm) or a large
refractor at a similar price (refractor of 170mm or so).
More my wife is CURIOUS, so I explain her the bases of astronomy, what
is a sct vs a refractor, what is a star vs a planet (at least 10
times...), the fact stars have also a weight, etc, etc. Not easy but
she want to understand, she want to KNOW.
She can read all the books about astronomy I have bought along these
years ! She appreciates the iconographics ones and the atlases (to
"learn" the sky) as my astronomy software (The Sky, Dance of the
Planets mainly).
So now she is participating in my observation sessions regularly and we
go TOGETHER sometimes in a club here in Luxembourg.
My wife has her own scope and (I will authorize her!) later to observe
"in mine"...
So I think the debate is closed as I pay all, including her Tele-Vue
zoom, Nagler's and Radian's (I bought now the Nagler's but will use
them of my larger scope later, as the Radian but she needed it, so I
have to buy another one...). Women (showing my EP's) are quite
expensive...
Hope this help, good luck
Thierry
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
Tony Pelliccio
says...
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
Think of it this way. Wives are expensive but have certain benefits.
Scopes are expensive but the benefits, in my opinion anyhow, far outweigh
those of the wife.
I guess I'm just too damned independent. I know how to cook, wash my
clothes etc so I don't need that kind of coddling. :)
Tony
--
== Tony Pelliccio, KD1S formerly KD1NR
== Trustee WE1RD
John J. Kasianowicz
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
Hi Vincent,
Simply suggest equal opportunities for both of you.
Every new moon, you get a night out with the boys.
Every full moon, your wife gets a night out with the boys. ~:^)
Kidding aside, I disagree with some of the advice given in this thread
(although Matt Leo's and Gene Lewis's stories were priceless!). I don't
believe that you should ever lie to your wife. If your word has no meaning
for a simple material good, why should it for things that really matter.
I'm not suggesting that one's spouse has to know about every breath you take
(and that works both ways too), but deliberately lying about anything is
wrong. There are exceptions (e.g. the Anne Frank story).
That said, we've all made mistakes in this and other categories. What
matters most is whether we learn from them.
Best,
John
Thierry Lombry
Don't tell your (future, ex) wife you consider her like a object or a
toy... ;^)
stea...@earthlink.net
>Why Astro is better than a woman...
>
>1) A telescope doesn't get jealous when you handle and use another Telescope.
>
>2) Telescopes don't get headaches.
>
>3) Once you get a Telescope, its yours to use, loan, swap or sell as you
>wish.
>
>4) The more Telescopes the better.
>
>5) A Telescope will let you sleep late, or all day, on weekends.
>
>6) A Telescope will never complain about anything.
Mike,
Go for it.
Rich N.
Vincent Kee wrote in message <7rlcr3$8ki$1...@mango.singnet.com.sg>...
>Hi..
>
>I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
>with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how you
>manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours?? My
>girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
>thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
>refractor 3 months ago.
>
>Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
You tell her no more sex until she apologizes. No? Ok tell her you
will let her set up the telescope. Oh wait, how about this.. tell her she
looks so beautiful next to the telescope.
Good luck,
Rich ;-)
Rich N.
Linda Chuang wrote in message ...
>vincent,
>
> see my posting .....astronomy or husband? sept 14.
Look at it as reason to earn enough money that buying a telescope
is not a sugnificant part of your family budget.
Good answer Linda?
Rich
Matt Leo
Rockett Crawford wrote:
> Another scenerio could be a 30 inch Tectron dobsonian for the
> first scope, send it back, and then order a "little" CG-11. :^)
Ah, Rockett, Rockett, what can I say? The obvious flaw in this scenario is
that you come into possession of one scope, and have to give it up for
another scope that is in some measurable or imaginable dimension a lesser
one. The object of the excercise is to establish the _appearance_ of self
denial, not the actuality!
I'm afraid that, unlike Gene, you're heading for a gentleman's C in this
course. You can bring your grade up through this extra credit assigment:
find a way to parlay UP from the CG-11 to the Tectron, while at no
intermediate step having to give any ground. Remember that wives
instinctively understand that aperture counts.
-Uncle Matt
Matt Leo
> Hi Michael,
>
> Somehow although she doesn't like me to buy more telescopes....she actually
> encourage me to buy your book after I stared at it for a long time at the
> local bookstore here in Singapore (it is expensive here but is worth the
> money!!).
Excellent work Vincent! Of course, it is a rank newbie blunder to accept the
offer of the book, but the damage is limited. Expeienced husbands know that
knowledge of a purchase will disqualify further authorized purchases for a set
length of time. For example, in the US the rule of thumb is that for any
authorized purchase, figure one day per dollar spent before you are allowed to
spend any more money, or one to two weeks per dollar spent if you're caught
buying something on the sly. Thus, since this was an authorized purchase, even
a hardcover of Michael's "Astrophotography for the Amateur", at $80, will put
you out of commission for only about two and a half months.
Nonetheless, the fact that she has approved this purchase means that, without
prior experience of guidance, you have managed to maneuver your girlfriend to
the third stage of telescopic resistance, to wit:
(1) Denial: "You just bought a telescope. You'll have to bring that thing in
here over my dead body."
(2) Anger: "All you want to do is play with your toys. What about fixing that
back porch? It's going to fall down any minute now!"
(3) Bargaining: "Honey, I'm sorry but we can't afford another telescope, and
beside, where would be put it? Maybe you could buy something else. How about
this nice, uh, LED flashlight?"
(4) Depression: "" (don't expect her to talk to you)
(5) Acceptance: "Ok, buy the damned telescope, but this is the LAST TIME, do you
hear me? The LAST TIME."
Then, of course, it starts all over again.
I congratulate you on your excellent progress thus far, and on that basis feel
confident in predicting a glorious marital career!
-Uncle Matt
Rockett Crawford
Paul Gustafson wrote:
> Mike Dumas <mi...@vci.net> wrote in message news:37DF09C3...@vci.net...
> >
> > Why Astro is better than a woman...
> >
> > 1) A telescope doesn't get jealous when you handle and use another
> Telescope.
> >
> > 2) Telescopes don't get headaches.
> >
> > 3) Once you get a Telescope, its yours to use, loan, swap or sell as you
> > wish.
> >
> > 4) The more Telescopes the better.
> >
> > 5) A Telescope will let you sleep late, or all day, on weekends.
> >
> > 6) A Telescope will never complain about anything.
>
> 7) You can see clearly through a telescope
8) It is possible to understand a telescope.
9) A telescope is much much much much much much less expensive.
10) A telescope doesn't have relatives
Mike Reed
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to
"battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how
you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours??
My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
I have no tricks, but I have a method that works well. My wife and I
each have an equal allowance for our own purchases each month. It isn't
much, but it's enough to buy a good eyepiece, or in two months I can buy
some decent 70mm binoculars. We both have an "understanding" of the need
for occasional large item purchases, which are worked into Christmas
and/or birthday gifts. My 8" Star Hopper was part of my Christmas last
year. Back when I used to race bikes, I'd be getting $150 pedals, $200
shoes, $300 forks, or $1500 bikes as gifts.
It requires some patience on my part, but it works. I get my stuff and
my wife is happy. I think we may be able to raise the allowance amount,
but we're holding off while we save for kids (we're saving money like
maniacs). Overall, I like it.
If you and your girlfriend are pooling your money, she should get you
the Ultima for Christmas (it's not that far away ;). Maybe you could
even keep your eyes open during that time for a used one. My wife is
always impressed when I can find a premium item used (tools, skis,
whatever). I've never bought a lemon (most folks take ok care of stuff).
Just my opinion...
-Mike
Mike Reed
"Bob OLeary" <wea...@linctel.net> wrote:
> I`ts my experience that if you but them an item of similar value(you
can lose recites and lie here)
> that they don`t bitch quite as much,you should have heard my wife when
the ups guy showed up with
> the 5"refractor ,I already have a 10"LX50
I say keep it honest. If your marriage can't stand up to your actions,
then either your actions or the marriage should be reconsidered. No need
to tell her every thing you buy, but don't hide anything (like
receipts).
Rockett Crawford
Matt Leo wrote:
Who's giving ground? I'm a CCD imager. Do you know how useless
a Tectron dobson is for CCD imaging??? :^)
take care,
Rockett Crawford
Mike Reed
"Bob OLeary" <wea...@linctel.net> wrote:
> I`ts my experience that if you but them an item of similar value(you
can lose recites and lie here)
> that they don`t bitch quite as much,you should have heard my wife when
the ups guy showed up with
> the 5"refractor ,I already have a 10"LX50
I say keep it honest. If your marriage can't stand up to your actions,
then either your actions or the marriage should be reconsidered. There's
no need to tell her every thing you buy, but don't hide anything (like
receipts).
Bribery is fair game in my book (buying her something of equal or
greater value). At least that way you both know where you are morally ;)
Allan Mayer
>Why Astro is better than a woman...
But there is that ONE thing that makes a woman more valueable
than ANY telescope ever made.
There have been quite a few times, where I had the choice between
spending the night with a pretty lady, or a night of observing.
Pretty lady has won out every time.
Always will..............................
I know where my priorities lay...
<G>
Allan
http://members.aol.com/Thetabat/hello.html
"Only a Gentleman can insult me, and a true Gentleman never will..."
isoch...@my-deja.com
That way I am spending quality time with them and am a good father, I
bought a cheapo used "trashco" at a garage sale. My oldest daughter
like seeing the moon and colored sstars. I bought here a kids book on
constellations and a star chart that has glow-in-the-dark star
stickers. When she has been good she gets to fill in one constellation
with the stickers. When she is finnished the chart goes on her bedroom
ceiling.
the next setp is to build a 8" dob so we can do some real observing.
I'll buy the miro last since it is the most expensive part.
owe...@my-deja.com
Saw your post and thought I would reply. I don't have problems with the
cost of my hobbies for several reasons:
1. Since we are a family I always discuss my LARGE purchases with my
wife before making them, esp if its something that will take my time
like using a telescope and it is uaually a joint decision or a
compromise. My wife and I have our own seperate interests, but we also
do things together and enjoy each others company. In fact my purchase of
the telescope was in part due to the fact that when I mentioned it my
wife said that would be neat, (understand she will never be hardcore
into this), but the fact that she is interested and it is something we
can do together is a plus for me.
2. Neither I nor my wife ever make purchases would result in harm to the
family. And yes I think its only fair that if I buy something expensive
that interests me that I spend money on her as well, this is afterall
supposed to be a partnership. I also do some side consulting work and
that is my primary play money. She does the same and the money we earn
at our respective jobs is for family or joint interests.
3. I never hide from her how much I spend on things if she asks, but as
a rule she usually doesn't ask as she knows my hobbies are usually
pretty expensive, (scuba, Astronomy, computers, shooting, antique
microscope collecting etc etc etc), and she is more comfortable if she
doesn't know.
4. The most important thing is I make sure that we spend quality time
together. Either doing something we both like or taking turns. ie one
night we go browse antique stores together, another night we look
through the telescope together.I have found the problem with many of my
friends is that their wives don't have issue with what they buy as much
as when they spend excessive time on their hobby without giving quality
time to their mates. I married her because I want to spend time with
her. Oh and no I am not newly married 18 years and counting.
Just my thoughts
-Gordon
In article <7rlcr3$8ki$1...@mango.singnet.com.sg>,
"Vincent Kee" <kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote:
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to
"battle"
> with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures and how
you
> manage to convince them to let you buy that favourite scope of yours??
My
> girlfriend last night nearly strangle me to death when I told her I am
> thinking of buying the Ultima 2000 after I had just bought a 120mm
> refractor 3 months ago.
>
> Hey..teach me your tricks!!
>
> Vincent
fros...@my-deja.com
Don't do "tricks" with people who are important to you.
However, if you're getting this kind of reaction to your mere
"thinking" from someone who is not your spouse, IMHO you've got other
issues to consider.
I wonder, have you ever threatened to strangle HER for something she
was thinking? I wonder what she would think of YOU if you had.
Astronomy is simpler than this.
Matt Childs
The best thing you can do (and I saw this in some of the other posts) is to
involve your partner in the hobby. My wife is a photographer, so I showed her
some of the astrophotography in S&T and Astronomy. She came out observing with
me on several occassions - and while not as hooked as I am, she understands my
love for astronomy better and is interested in doing astronomy related things
with me.
Relationships are a partnership. Being untruthful and manipulative isn't the
way to go. Like all other parts of a relationship - compromise is the key.
Regards,
Matt
Linda Chuang wrote:
> Palle B. Strom wrote:
>
> Now what you need to do is to determine if your girlfriend is the type (Most
> common type) who is actually incapable of appreciating the wonders of the
>
> cosmos and the instruments it takes.
>
> Don't forget
>
> that if she is dominating while just a girlfriend she will be
> completely intolerable as a wife. Dump her! or your future hobby will
>
> be fixing things around the house.
>
> When she asked
>
> how much I paid I simply answered "Just a few hundred bucks". You just
> try to buy a Takahashi for a few hundred bucks!, a
>
> 10" SCT, a CCD, autoguider, a selection of eyepieces and all kinds of
> "stuff". She has no idea what this all cost, and that
>
> works for me.
>
> In response:
>
> Vincent, you should definitely avoid this advice. This is the type of
> thing that keeps women away from astronomy. Don't stoop so low
>
> as to lie to get your way. It will come and haunt you one day.
>
> LC.
>
> -**** Posted from RemarQ, http://www.remarq.com/?a ****-
> Search and Read Usenet Discussions in your Browser - FREE -
--
________________________________
Matt Childs
SR. Developer/Analyst
Integrity Solutions Inc.
Anchorage, AK 99518
Phone: (907) 563-2721
Email: mch...@integritysi.com
Frédéric
37DE3A97...@mail.mech.kuleuven.ac.be...
> > I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to
"battle"
> > with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures
same thing in computers... i want a dual PIII 600, a TNT2 Ultra, etc,
everything is expensive also, and my GF does not really like it! even when i
simply take a look in computers store or magazine and she is upset... now
with telescop it's the same thing :o), having Sky & Telescop in the bedroom
or reading it watching TV and she's upset :o)
gw...@my-deja.com
boots clutter (I'm also a birder), I finally GOT pissed.
I asked her if she would rather I golfed every weekend and watched ESPN
all evening with a beer in my hand. (Nothing against a beer in the hand.)
I told her that I believed it was absolutely CHARMING that I left star
charts, field guides, and eyepieces laying around the house. Could there
be a *better* environment for our children?
Then I challenged her to ask her girlfriends if they would rather have a
husband who is out looking at stars and birds (i get very little sleep in
the spring) and dragging the kids into salt marshes and to high elevation
dark sites--or a golfin' good ol' boy.
It helped that I puffed up to twice my size with righteous indignation.
It settled the problem for a long time.
In the final analysis, if your spouse or lover doesn't find you
fascinating and even sexy for your passions, whether it be DSOs or
Medieval French poetry --DUMP HER.
Life is too short.
In article <7rlcr3$8ki$1...@mango.singnet.com.sg>,
"Vincent Kee" <kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote:
> Hi..
>
> I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to "battle"
Michael Covington
married
> people here actually convince their wife on allowing them on their
astronmy
> expenditures. I am assuming that not everyone here has millions of bucks
in
> their bank which their wifes will not even bother with the whole house
full
> of scopes. I am sure there are times when you got to explain to your wife
> why you needed that $2000 scope. Hence..I just hope to learn a thing or 2
> here on how to handle this type of situation before I get married.
> Furthermore, newly married couples will need money for other priorities
> first, so it is definitely difficult to get her agreed to a new scope in
the
> begining even if I could afford it and does not upset other priorities
I think the first thing to ask is, *can* you afford the new telescope, and
can you demonstrate a "need" for it (in the sense that you would use it
regularly and enjoy using it, not just owning it)?
The second thing is, how do the two of you, together, set your budget
priorities? Don't marry a person whose goal is to obtain complete control
of your income ("you earn it, I spend it") or complete control of *you*
("you're not allowed to have any interests other than me"). And you will
not be happy married to someone who thinks the purpose of money is to raise
your social status by overspending on houses, cars, clothes, and showy
entertainment. (Two such people, marrying each other, may be happy, but
you're not that kind of person if you read sci.astro.amateur.)
The really deep question is, how much of the budget is for entertainment and
hobbies, and how does this fit into it? What are you willing to trade off
against astronomy? Vacations? Expensive dining out?
Actually, part of the objection may be, "Other people don't spend money on
this, so neither should you." The appropriate response should be, "Let's
think for ourselves rather than imitating the people around us." That's an
absolutely *crucial* fact about money management -- you can save a *bundle*
by buying only things you actually want, not things that others tell you you
ought to have.
(When we were newlyweds, Melody and I had a $3000 car and a $3000 computer.
Everybody asked how on earth we could afford the computer. If we had had a
$6000 or even $10,000 car, nobody would have thought it unusual.)
Astronomy is considerably cheaper than boating and can easily be cheaper
than golf. So one thing you have to settle at the beginning of the marriage
is whether either of you is allowed to spend money on anything that is not a
"necessity." Some people's definition of "necessity" includes expensive
cars and frequent redecorating, neither of which is actually a necessity...
you may want to make sure you're on the same wavelength about such things.
The third thing is this: Is the relationship a power struggle? Does she
think that in order to win your heart, she has to overpower you and thwart
your desires whenever they differ from yours? If so, be prepared for a
stormy (and short) relationship!
Can your wife-to-be understand that you have technical interests and
hobbies, things you are interested in because of the intellectual
fascination of it? Does she want *you* or does she just want "a husband," a
bland character to play a generic role?
If this sounds a bit like a premarital counseling session, it should; I do
church work with university students. But it is *much* more practical to
end a doomed relationship before the wedding than after it!
Clear skies,
Michael Covington
Author, Astrophotography for the Amateur
www.CovingtonInnovations.com
Matt Leo
larger. The most common topic of argument between couples is money, but the
real problem is the failure to communicate. If you can sit down together, look
at your income, and make a budget, you have all the tools you need to deal with
this. It's the uncertainty that gets to wives, and husbands too. Remember too
that you don't need anything more than a pair of cheapo binoculars to have loads
of fun looking at the sky.
And, Vincent, be a man. Buy her the rock, if she wants it. Sure, it's cool
having lots of toys, but nothing beats that feeling when your wife thinks you're
a helluva guy.
Andy Wallace
Rockett Crawford wrote:
> Last May I spent several nights with several pretty ladies
> and several telescopes under one of the best dark skies
> in the world at Prude Ranch and the Texas Star Party. :^)
>
> take care,
> Rockett Crawford
Rockett Crawford
Andy Wallace wrote:
> Do you need any help for next year?? :)
Sure! The more the merrier. :^)
Bring your big 18 inch dob. The ladies will all be impressed,
I guarantee it. :^)
Bob OLeary
bright we ,,,,,well you guess.
--
Bob O`Leary Lincoln MT wea...@linctel.net
Zane
Zane
=?iso-8859-1?B?RnLpZOlyaWM=?= <frederic_nospam@nospam_dataradio.com> wrote:
>Johannes Bonse <jbo...@mail.mech.kuleuven.ac.be> a écrit dans le message :
>37DE3A97...@mail.mech.kuleuven.ac.be...
>> > I am just curious.....how many of you out there actually have to
>"battle"
>> > with your wife/girlfriends over your astronomy expenditures
>
Allan Mayer
Rockett Crawford <Roc...@Audiotel.com> writes:
>Last May I spent several nights with several pretty ladies
>and several telescopes under one of the best dark skies
>in the world at Prude Ranch and the Texas Star Party. :^)
If we all could be so lucky......
Last girlfriend was not interested in astronomy, fishing,
hunting, and a few other hobbies I have.
Really didnt matter that much, as she was very "easy on the eyes"
Some of her friends I did have a real problem with
(or rather what they did for fun) Finally had to move on.
I plan on driving to the next TSP, so I hope to see ya all there !!
Rockett Crawford
Allan Mayer wrote:
> I plan on driving to the next TSP, so I hope to see ya all there !!
>
Good deal. Only 7 months away.
TSP 2000 at Prude Ranch.
I'll be looking for you.
take care,
Rockett Crawford
Zane
feels they have to give their approval or disapproval of everything you do.
Luckily I figured that out before I got married, but I see many miserable
acquaintances in this situation. (Before and after their divorces.)
Just make sure that your friend doesn't fall into that category. There are
some women around who don't. (By the way, make sure you don't either.)
What address should all these marriage counseling bills be sent to?
Zane
Andy Wallace
Rockett Crawford wrote:
>
> Andy Wallace wrote:
>
> > Do you need any help for next year?? :)
>
> Sure! The more the merrier. :^)
>
> Bring your big 18 inch dob. The ladies will all be impressed,
> I guarantee it. :^)
>
> take care,
> Rockett Crawford
>
> > Rockett Crawford wrote:
> >
> > > Last May I spent several nights with several pretty ladies
> > > and several telescopes under one of the best dark skies
> > > in the world at Prude Ranch and the Texas Star Party. :^)
> > >
> > > take care,
> > > Rockett Crawford
Rockett Crawford
Andy Wallace wrote:
> size does make a difference! :))
>
<laughing>
Rockett
Frez
Vincent Kee <kw...@singnet.com.sg> wrote in message
news:7ron8i$mf4$1...@mango.singnet.com.sg...
> Hi all,
>
> Well..after setting off such a long thread, I think I better say
something.
> <snip>
> Clear skies
> Vincent
Great googily moogily!! What's this world coming to?
Married people acting like single people,
Single people acting like married people,
Boyfriend and girlfriend crabbin' about money,
Jumpin' Jehozephat!!
If you want it, can afford it, then just buy the darn thing!
Give in now pal and you're a gonner for life. Not just
in relation to women but your own self respect.
Holy smokin' buffalo feet!! What's next?
SCTs and refractors living together,
GEMs and Dobs at the drive-in,
Harley's and Hondas in the same garage!!!
GRAREFRUIT MILKSHAKES!!!!!
Just buy it will ya!! BUY IT!!!!!!!!!
AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
FREZ
Rockett Crawford
Allan Mayer wrote:
> In article <37DF09C3...@vci.net>, Mike Dumas <mi...@vci.net> writes:
>
> >Why Astro is better than a woman...
>
> But there is that ONE thing that makes a woman more valueable
> than ANY telescope ever made.
>
> There have been quite a few times, where I had the choice between
> spending the night with a pretty lady, or a night of observing.
>
> Pretty lady has won out every time.
> Always will..............................
>
> I know where my priorities lay...
> <G>
I can top that....
Last May I spent several nights with several pretty ladies
and several telescopes under one of the best dark skies
in the world at Prude Ranch and the Texas Star Party. :^)
take care,
Rockett Crawford
Vincent Kee
Well..after setting off such a long thread, I think I better say something.
Many thanks to the people who have responded to my post. Some of you are
pure humorous, some are really good advise, and some are really with a
serious tone. I appreciate all the replies.
Me and my gf have no problem with one another, actually she does encourage
me with astronomy even though she is least interested in it. Problem is that
she finds buying astronomy scopes or accessories are pretty wasteful and
sometimes it take some convincing power in order not to upset her when I buy
new stuff.
Hence with the idea of marrying her soon, I am just curious how the married
people here actually convince their wife on allowing them on their astronmy
expenditures. I am assuming that not everyone here has millions of bucks in
their bank which their wifes will not even bother with the whole house full
of scopes. I am sure there are times when you got to explain to your wife
why you needed that $2000 scope. Hence..I just hope to learn a thing or 2
here on how to handle this type of situation before I get married.
Furthermore, newly married couples will need money for other priorities
first, so it is definitely difficult to get her agreed to a new scope in the
begining even if I could afford it and does not upset other priorities
If my post have upsetted some ladies in this newgroup, I sincerely
apologised, but it was never meant to say that the ladies do not appreciate
astronomy. I know some of them do, but again the intention of my mail is to
find out the best way to avoid "sour feelings" between married couples on
those expensive astronomy expenditures. It was not meant to be chauvinist,
but I still appreicate some comments from the ladies who has well intentions
in giving us their point of view. And I must admit at times too that I got
to raise my eyebrows simply because she is already hinting for that brand
new $2000 diamond..which I simply do not see the thrill of having a piece
of small rock (yes..it is rare..I know...but a rock is still a rock... )
which has no other function than to just glitter around. Well..she got her
diamond nevertheless, and here I am still dreaming of the Ultima 2000....
Well..I am sure it is fun working out all these things between couples, so
that's is the intention of the mail, just let me know what are the things
you do to work things out over these expensive items which occasionally the
other party does not see the thrill or reason of owning that expensive item.
Clear skies
Vincent
Brad
by whatever scope I wanted.......kidding kidding kidding kidding.........
Brad
Shoot for the moon, for if you miss, you will be among the stars.....
J. Makela
----------
> Then I challenged her to ask her girlfriends if they would rather have a
> husband who is out looking at stars and birds (i get very little sleep in
> the spring) and dragging the kids into salt marshes and to high elevation
> dark sites--or a golfin' good ol' boy.
Y'got somethin' aginst golfin' good ol' boys? hm? Okay buddy, let's take it
outside..
wait, hang on a minute, gotta grab the binoculars. Might be something up
there worth lookin at when i'm flat on m'back.
X)
lata
J
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -> *
http://www.stargazers-pub.net
AuroraBora
matter, a bribe is another matter entirely.
Why is it that it often needs to be tit for tat in some relationships? I
find no reason why a couple shouldn't delve into their own private hobbies
with as much gusto as they can afford.
If a boyfriend of mine told me he had a problem with my spending habits or
hobby, his ass would be stinging as the door hit it on the way out.
A marriage is another matter since most couples merge their finances. And
if the person making the astronomy purchases is causing a financial problem
in the household, then who is the real ass in the situation? The one
bitching about it or the one causing it....
Bora
Kathryn Taylor <androm...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:WRrD3.17332$ei1....@newsfeeds.bigpond.com...
> Interesting that you didn't include husband/boyfriend in that question. Of
> course you could just save your fingers some extra effort and write
partner
> or something like that. Sorry, I hate to be picky but sometimes that sort
of
> thing just shits me. By the way, try saving up extra hard and by her
> something at the same time. You never know it might actually work! Enjoy
the
> new scope if you get it.
> Cheers Kath.
Steve in Virginia
"Kathryn Taylor" <androm...@bigpond.com> wrote:
> Interesting that you didn't include husband/boyfriend in that
question. Of
> course you could just save your fingers some extra effort and write
partner
> or something like that. Sorry, I hate to be picky but sometimes that
sort of
> thing just shits me. By the way, try saving up extra hard and by her
> something at the same time. You never know it might actually work!
Enjoy the
> new scope if you get it.
> Cheers Kath.
>
>
You could always run home and cry to mommy and
tell her how the big bad man neglected to
mention women's needs again.
Cheers,
Steve
Steve in Virginia
JOHN PAZMINO
A > Subject: Re: Astronomy or wife??
A > Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 20:17:23 -0400
A > I say she should save up and by herself whatever she wants. A gift is one
A > matter, a bribe is another matter entirely.
A >
A > Why is it that it often needs to be tit for tat in some relationships? I
A > find no reason why a couple shouldn't delve into their own private hobbies
A > with as much gusto as they can afford.
A >
A > If a boyfriend of mine told me he had a problem with my spending habits or
A > hobby, his ass would be stinging as the door hit it on the way out.
A >
A > A marriage is another matter since most couples merge their finances. And
A > if the person making the astronomy purchases is causing a financial problem
A > in the household, then who is the real ass in the situation? The one
A > bitching about it or the one causing it....
A >
A > Bora
You didn't sign your full name. Isn't it Aurora Bora Alice?
---
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