Sun Will Jack strip naked.
Mon A busy day for Tim.
Tue Elizabeth goes further.
Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
Thu An embarrassment of Santas.
Fri Sunday is the day.
Any suggestions?
--
George
And appear on a new calendar?
> Mon A busy day for Tim.
Retrieving Jack's clothes for him.
> Tue Elizabeth goes further.
And happens upon the underpants.
> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
The car door wouldn't open.
(Is she blonde?)
> Thu An embarrassment of Santas.
He's started stripping too.
> Fri Sunday is the day.
Because we're all going to miss this episode.
> Any suggestions?
To the tune of "You Sexy Thing". Oh sorry, I see what you <blush>
rob.
--
Robert J Linham, St John's College, Oxford, OX1 3JP.
E-mail: robert...@sjc.ox.ac.uk Phone: 07971 071402
LSS Official Disseminator of Information and Other Useless Statistics,
Pertaining to Research, Academia and Teaching.
UMRA Official Legal Person, except where the EU is involved.
UMRAGeek: 80/97 M B- G- A+++ L+++ I S-- P@ CH++++ Ar+ T++>+ H- Q(-) Sh-(-)
>Tue Elizabeth goes further.
As she poses for Amateur Gynacologist.
>
>Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
Lights are on, but nobody's home. So no change there.
>
>Thu An embarrassment of Santas.
Is there any other collective noun for them?
>
>Fri Sunday is the day.
For Helen to be eaten by an escaped Hippo. Thousands celebrate.
--
Andy Breen ~ PPARC Advanced Research Fellow, Interplanetary Scintillation
Solar Physics Group, UW Aberystwyth
"When I was young I used to scintillate
now I only sin 'til ten past three" (Ogden Nash)
--
--
Kirsten Procter ghoti
"that's what I think, but I don't suppose I'm right"
Eeyore and Foreign Secretary, Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society
#>>
>>Sun Will Jack strip naked.
But massages are good for actors Jack
>
>>
>>Tue Elizabeth goes further.
Bairns due?
>>
>>Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
Hmm, me spy trouble
>>
>>Thu An embarrassment of Santas.
The real one turns up to the fete?
>>
>>Fri Sunday is the day.
That phoebles comes home
>>Any suggestions?
>>
back to pine for me if 5that happens again.
Kirsten
Oi! What's wrong with Pine?! I sewar [1] by it.
[1] Typo, but I like it!
Try mutt for size (www.mutt.org) .... then answer your own question :)
--
"Service. 1. n. Bug fix, as in `Service Pack'.
2. v.t. Impregnation, as in `the stallion serviced the mare.'"
chris harrison - http://www.lowfield.co.uk/
|> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
|
|The car door wouldn't open.
|(Is she blonde?)
Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
--
| Niles, Nottingham
Q. Why did the chicken cross the Moebius Strip? | ICQ UIN 12724766
A. To get to the other, er... ah... |(^^^ - very rarely)
www.cut-the-knot.com/do_you_know/moebius.html | www.niles.zetnet.co.uk
> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
> |The car door wouldn't open.
> |(Is she blonde?)
> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
I think I can safely assume I am the only one to know this blonde joke
then...
Panic panic
>
>Mon A busy day for Tim.
The brother of the bride who has to fix the upstairs bog
before the wedding >
Tue dont eat chocolate need to lose about 10stone today
so look good for saturday
Weds need to eat lots of chocolate to stop me worrying
Thurdsay carpet cleaner coming .
>
>Fri Clean clean and clean again
Sunday is the day. For clearing up after the wedding
Sat 11th Wedding of Victoria (baby in the pram story)
1pm Canterbury Register Office
All freinds welcome
"uncle Chris " the present has not arrived yet hope you got the list
Lots of love
Sandy
Mother of the bride you wont miss me Im the one in the silly hat
as you can see Ive gone off in wedding mode
I believe Mr Meat Loaf once sang a song with very similar subject matter
(although his heroine was hair-colour-unspecific).
So... I have a virtual nephew as well do I? Isn't if amazing how many
relatives suddenly appear on these occasions? :o)
I take it he's putting copious amount of bubble bath in the cistern (Been
there. Done that. Cleared up the mess).
<snippity doo dah>
>
> "uncle Chris " the present has not arrived yet hope you got the list
>
<mode scooby_doo>
Ehh?
Rot rist?
Oh.
Hee Hee Hee!
</mode>
--
cin cin
ChRiS
On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
> Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
> |
> |The car door wouldn't open.
> |(Is she blonde?)
>
> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
To the Dark Side she has turned. Bugger off to Morocco she will.
But there is another...
Adventure, excitement: a Debi craves not these things.
P
can the comical Grundans defeat the Feed Trade Federation?
Is this a case of hair-colour-ism?
Yes, all eight-and-a-half minutes of it. But that light was on the
dashboard.
<fx:feet heading for bunker, pursued by a horde of blondes>
> Mon A busy day for Tim.
>
> Tue Elizabeth goes further.
>
> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
>
No change there then!
> Thu An embarrassment of Santas.
>
"Jack, you've forgot to put your clothes back on..."
> Fri Sunday is the day.
>
Lizzie gives birth?
Jamie
>On 1 Dec 1999, Kirsten Procter wrote:
>> >On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
>> >> Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
>> >> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
>> >> |The car door wouldn't open.
>> >> |(Is she blonde?)
>> >> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
>> >I think I can safely assume I am the only one to know this blonde joke
>> >then...
>> N o, assume we were ignoring it
>
><fx:feet heading for bunker, pursued by a horde of blondes>
My dear chap, I think you may be guilty of a spot of wishful thinking
there you know?
Kimbo
--
The umra Grange Farm fighting fund at
http://www.foca.co.uk/umrafund.html
HAHA / LSS LO & Founding FONT
Strumpet Extraordinaire
http://www.foca.co.uk
|
|
|On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
|
|> Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
|>
|> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
|> |
|> |The car door wouldn't open.
|> |(Is she blonde?)
|>
|> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
|
|To the Dark Side she has turned. Bugger off to Morocco she will.
|But there is another...
|
|Adventure, excitement: a Debi craves not these things.
I never realised, Yoda was welsh.
Obviously to get you all remembering to listen to the Sunday epi here.
Sincerely, Chris
--
Mrs. Chris McMillan.
Tel. 0118 926 5450. e-mail: ch...@mikesounds.demon.co.uk
http://www.mikesounds.demon.co.uk/
OK, I avoided this battle last time, but if this were wishful thinking...
<fx: feet heading for bunker, on the verge of getting caught by a horde of
brunettes>
Rob.
f/x: *zzzap*
f/x: the sound of running feet changes to a sort of squelchy hopping
N.
>Sat 11th Wedding of Victoria (baby in the pram story)
> 1pm Canterbury Register Office
> All freinds welcome
>
Congratulations, hurrah, felicitations, etc etc. I hope you'll all have
a wonderful day.
cheers,
robin
--
Christmas cards? No worries:
www.badminston.demon.co.uk/cards.html
LSS Human Resources Technical specialist / MUNDANE
SIRENS P.I.S.T.
oithjrowij
eoigjeoig
[thought bubble] Darn! I *knew* I was pushing my luck. Argh! Here comes a
Frenchman...[/tb]
Ribbit.
> On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
> > Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> > |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
> > |The car door wouldn't open.
> > |(Is she blonde?)
> > Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
>
> I think I can safely assume I am the only one to know this
>blonde joke then...
No, but some of us have the good taste to pretend we don't
know it...
Mary
not near Essex at all, really
> On 1 Dec 1999, Kirsten Procter wrote:
> > >On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
> > >> Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
> > >> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
> > >> |The car door wouldn't open.
> > >> |(Is she blonde?)
> > >> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
> > >I think I can safely assume I am the only one to know
>this blonde joke then...
> > N o, assume we were ignoring it
>
> <fx:feet heading for bunker,
For some reason I read that as 'feet heading for bonker'...
Puts an entirely new image of that august establishment into
my mind.
>pursued by a horde of blondes>
You should be so lucky!
If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you might be
wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
Mary
whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
Good taste? Wossat, then?
Anyway, that *is* my good taste. My bad taste would even make the BTM
faint.
ROFL! I always knew it was an establishment of low repute, what with all
those rooms and dorms and what-have-you!
> >pursued by a horde of blondes>
> You should be so lucky!
We can all dream.
> If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you might be
> wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
<fx: feet heading for bookcase to seek out book of redhead jokes; well,
the feet are heading there, but they won't obviously do the seeking; well,
they might... oh you get the idea>
>In article <384557f0...@news.powernet.co.uk>,
>Kim Andrews <k...@foca.co.uk> wrote:
>>On Wed, 1 Dec 1999 14:49:25 +0000, Rob Linham
>><sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
>>
>>><fx:feet heading for bunker, pursued by a horde of blondes>
>>
>>My dear chap, I think you may be guilty of a spot of wishful thinking
>>there you know?
>
>f/x: *zzzap*
>
>f/x: the sound of running feet changes to a sort of squelchy hopping
>
>N.
You didn't think that bottle I drank earlier was the only potion I'd
got in stock did you? As you can see anyway, it does wear off. I'm
much <wuff> better now <pant>.
Kimbo
--
New foca cd-rom - a perfect Christmas gift!
Formula One Cartoon Archive
http://www.foca.co.uk
k...@foca.co.uk
>In article
><Pine.OSF.4.21.991201...@sable.ox.ac.uk>,
>sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk (Rob Linham) wrote:
>
>> On 1 Dec 1999, Kirsten Procter wrote:
>> > >On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Niles wrote:
>> > >> Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> wrote:
>> > >> |> Wed The lights go on, but not for Kate.
>> > >> |The car door wouldn't open.
>> > >> |(Is she blonde?)
>> > >> Kate? No! Jet black hair she has.
>> > >I think I can safely assume I am the only one to know
>>this blonde joke then...
>> > N o, assume we were ignoring it
>>
>> <fx:feet heading for bunker,
>
>For some reason I read that as 'feet heading for bonker'...
>Puts an entirely new image of that august establishment into
>my mind.
>
>>pursued by a horde of blondes>
>
>You should be so lucky!
>
>If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you might be
>wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
The nice thing about being a strumpet is, there's no upper age limit.
One simply gets more disreputable.
>
>Mary
>whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
Diminished or otherwise that looks like qualification enough to me.
Phew. That was a close one.
Ribbit.
I'm very glad to know that.
Hop.
Oi! Linham! Noooo!
That's my line...
You've obviously been to far too many Oxford college bops [1]
> b) Wasn't it Ben Elton who described himself during a period of
> motivated chastity as a radical non-squelcher?
LOL! I hadn't heard that one, but I intend to do a Wilde on it.
Ribbit.
[1] Bop being College disco, in Oxford speak.
But I've been frogged [1], so that's about all I can do.
Plus, Ribbit is closer to Robert than Robin.
Ribbit :-P
[1] This brought to mind images of being char-grilled like a little
lamb...
Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy[1], I always had a soft spot
for redheads[2].
Nick
[1] at my age, too[3].
[2] and blondes, and brunettes, and black, and "posh mouse" ... [4]
[3] not that that is likely stop me stromboning, at all.
[4] see what I mean ?
Ah, someone else who was at Glastonbury 98.
Nick
>Plus, Ribbit is closer to Robert than Robin.
<Mode = bleary; too much red wine last night>
WTF are you talking about????? Make sense, for God's sake man!
;-)
cheers,
>> >Ribbit.
>> Oi! Linham! Noooo!
>> That's my line...
>
>But I've been frogged [1], so that's about all I can do.
>Plus, Ribbit is closer to Robert than Robin.
>
>Ribbit :-P
>
>[1] This brought to mind images of being char-grilled like a little
>lamb...
Or maybe pithed..... (1)
As we've both suffered a similar fate on several occasions (2) now,
young Rob, I'm minded to suggest we take a slightly more proactive
approach to these sudden and unheralded amphibian interludes. I *did*
think in the first instance we could wrap ourselves in suits of some
very shiny silver foil-y sort of stuff, and wear hats with mirrors, as
did the great Noddy Holder (peace be upon him), to reflect any curse or
imprecation back upon its utterer (or, in this case, utteress) -
although I would be the first to admit that this should be viewed as a
temporary and only partially efficacious measure...
Any other suggestions?
cheers,
robin
(1) Sorry, ancient Biology A-level joke
(2) Re-reading this post, I read this as 'moccasins'. Too weird.
>Sun Will Jack strip naked.
Must be to do with the card game, "Strip Jack Naked".
--
George
How much does one need to qualify as a toyboy?
Just curious. ;)
--
"Service. 1. n. Bug fix, as in `Service Pack'.
2. v.t. Impregnation, as in `the stallion serviced the mare.'"
chris harrison - http://www.lowfield.co.uk/
> Lots of love
> Sandy
> Mother of the bride you wont miss me Im the one in the silly hat
There's a bridal gowns shop in Wallasey that's been there for a few
years. Last year they extended into another shop a few doors away
that does the wedding stuff for the mother of the bride - it has all
those silly hats and frocks. Is this original or is it now the norm?
Me, I'm waiting for the shop that caters to the freeloading single
male guests - something like a teflon coated overall would be ideal.
--
Charles F Hankel
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hapless FAQer on the Wirral peninsula
No, no, no it is quite clearly one of Piggy's ideas to keep Jeck amused
now that he is retired.
--
btms
>In article <823uuh$1a3$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you might be
>>wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
>>
>>Mary
>>whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
>
>Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy[1], I always had a soft spot
>for redheads[2].
>
>Nick
>
>[1] at my age, too[3].
>
>[2] and blondes, and brunettes, and black, and "posh mouse" ... [4]
>
Looks like I'm safe then ;)
al
>Ribbit
A Warninge....
Beware, for it is saide, in this Whereabouts, that there bee Certaine
Women; who do professe to practice ye Blacke Arts; otherwyse Wytchcrafte
or Sorcerie.
It be knowne that suche a Woman may, by cunninge and devious meanes,
change shape, or evenne Shrink; to the bignesse of a mouse or shrewe,
and thus enter a locked roome, by ye smallest Aperture.
Then, 'tis saide, they putte we Men to sleep, with just a whisper; they
then can work their evil ways. By their Devilish artes; when a Man
wakyth they can have himme believe any foolishe notion; viz. that he
mighte bee a Frogge, or an Sheepe, or other Domestick Beaste. Then they
do cavort; with grimace and gesture to mock himme; and do offer to
restore his humanne shape only by kissinge or molestynge himme in some
other wise. Thus they do make havocke; suche that an ordinarye man bee
perturbed to go about his daily businesse.
So fearfulle are the local denizens; certain amonge them have begunne to
wear hattes with mirrors upon them, thinking to reflecte back anye curse
putte upon them.
It is further saide that they possess an enchanted Magickal Cowe: whych
by repute does make paintynges; with its tail; ande all suche manner of
fancyfulle imaginings of ye simple country folke.
It is saide; they do meet, to plan their Infamous Practices, with the
very Devil himself, in the guise of a tiny homunculus they do call
'Bernie' or 'Mr Ecclestone'; and after certain rituals Too Horrible To
Name, they doo gaine their Power.
It is knowne well enough; that the Devil do leave certaine marks; to
knowe them as his owne; viz. a remarkeable Hatte; the which is round in
shape; and do cover the entire head; wyth a certaine moving visor over
the eyes and nose.
Bee it knowne; that anye one found to be practicing these Foule and
Cunninge Artes; or to be wearing suche a curious and remarkeable Hatte;
shalle bee closely examined for other Evidence, to determine whether
truly she bee a wytche. And bee it also knowne; that ye Penaltie for
suche Blacke Artes bee severe in ye extreme.......
Signed this daye,
Ye Wytchfynder General
How much what?
>Just curious. ;)
Me too :)
Penny
Things Men Say That Make You Want To Scream #15
What do you mean, it's right in front of me? I can't see it!
umra Nicknames & Abbreviations http://www.bigwig.net/umra/nicks.html
> Good taste? Wossat, then?
> Anyway, that *is* my good taste. My bad taste would even make the BTM
> faint.
You're new around here, aren't you? I rather think that the BTM is
made of sterner stuff than you give her credit for. She was, before
assuming office, a leading contender for BTAs herself, despite one or
two BTNs being erroneously handed to innocent participants of this ng.
BTW, Mary, if^Was you are the alleged^Wsole arbiter, how do you get
nominated yourself? Does being BTM not cramp your style? Perhaps I
shall appoint myself as the LSS-BATMOBILE (Bad Taste MOnitor of the
Btm's taste) just in case you should need a special award.
You are Florrie Hopkins and I claim my ECUs5
--
btms
Say it.
When you've stopped slurring.
Ribbit.
Oh dear. Almost as bad as all the gags that go with the sexual
reproduction part of the course.
> As we've both suffered a similar fate on several occasions (2) now,
> young Rob, I'm minded to suggest we take a slightly more proactive
> approach to these sudden and unheralded amphibian interludes. I *did*
> think in the first instance we could wrap ourselves in suits of some
> very shiny silver foil-y sort of stuff, and wear hats with mirrors, as
> did the great Noddy Holder (peace be upon him), to reflect any curse or
> imprecation back upon its utterer (or, in this case, utteress) -
> although I would be the first to admit that this should be viewed as a
> temporary and only partially efficacious measure...
> Any other suggestions?
Weeeeeeeeeeeell,
I had actually been working on this, in between doing my squelchy bopping.
<passes bottle>
Here, have a swig of this. Next time that little so-and-so tries to do
anything nasty to us, this little concoction (the brandy is just for the
flavour) will send it straight back to her. Now let's see how she likes
squelchy bopping.
<swigs>
<collapses with alcohol poisoning from "flavouring")
Didn't I mention my wild card ?
Nick ;)
Do you really think it's that easy? Witching is a skill you know.
Amateur dabbling can be very dangerous. Oh, and take this...
<thwwwzzzksskzzt>
.
.
.
<boinnnnnggggg>
.
.
.
<glug glug glug>
<thinks>I knew it, the eejit, he's got the proportions all wrong... I
seem to have turned into a bottle of brandy. I *really* hope this
wears off before I get any visitors...</thinks>
Kimbo
glug
>In article <Pine.OSF.4.21.991201...@sable.ox.ac.uk>,
>Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> writes
>
>>> >Ribbit.
>>> Oi! Linham! Noooo!
>>> That's my line...
>>
>>But I've been frogged [1], so that's about all I can do.
>>Plus, Ribbit is closer to Robert than Robin.
>>
>>Ribbit :-P
>>
>>[1] This brought to mind images of being char-grilled like a little
>>lamb...
>
>Or maybe pithed..... (1)
>
>As we've both suffered a similar fate on several occasions (2) now,
>young Rob, I'm minded to suggest we take a slightly more proactive
>approach to these sudden and unheralded amphibian interludes. I *did*
>think in the first instance we could wrap ourselves in suits of some
>very shiny silver foil-y sort of stuff, and wear hats with mirrors, as
>did the great Noddy Holder (peace be upon him), to reflect any curse or
>imprecation back upon its utterer (or, in this case, utteress) -
>although I would be the first to admit that this should be viewed as a
>temporary and only partially efficacious measure...
I don't know that it would deflect the spells exactly, but I'm
guessing I'd laugh too much to aim straight.
You could just duck.
<noises off: Quack>
Nugger, that didn't quite work how I meant.
Kimbo
>In article <Pine.OSF.4.21.991201...@sable.ox.ac.uk>,
>Rob Linham <sjoh...@herald.ox.ac.uk> writes
>
>>Ribbit
>
>A Warninge....
>
>Beware, for it is saide, in this Whereabouts, that there bee Certaine
>Women; who do professe to practice ye Blacke Arts; otherwyse Wytchcrafte
>or Sorcerie.
-snip-
It is saide trulye. Thou art bolde to mocke Master Somes.
@@*!**! I've been rumbled!
cheers,
robin
>
>There's a bridal gowns shop in Wallasey that's been there for a few
>years. Last year they extended into another shop a few doors away
>that does the wedding stuff for the mother of the bride - it has all
>those silly hats and frocks. Is this original or is it now the norm?
>Me, I'm waiting for the shop that caters to the freeloading single
>male guests - something like a teflon coated overall would be ideal.
>
>
Well you would be very welcome whatever you are wearing if fact there
are so many that are not going now that the prawn cocktail will be
briming over . The lunch venue was until Monday owned by the Kray
family so the claim to catering by the Kray Bros no longer stands but
given that the bridegroom family are in the middle of a divorce there
should still be plenty of fireworks .
My outfit is a tasteful suit in Teal worn with the wonderful wrap I
made at summer school as I dont go in for posh dresses , in fact I
dont go in for dresses whatever sort they are and if the winds as bad
as today the hat wont be on for long either.
Sandy
Trying to learn the words of the Shepherd and his Lass ( Marlowe)
for my bit in the wedding .
Come live with me and be my love etc
>>> As we've both suffered a similar fate on several occasions (2) now,
>>> young Rob, I'm minded to suggest we take a slightly more proactive
>>> approach to these sudden and unheralded amphibian interludes. I *did*
>>> think in the first instance we could wrap ourselves in suits of some
>>> very shiny silver foil-y sort of stuff, and wear hats with mirrors, as
>>> did the great Noddy Holder (peace be upon him), to reflect any curse or
>>> imprecation back upon its utterer (or, in this case, utteress) -
>>> although I would be the first to admit that this should be viewed as a
>>> temporary and only partially efficacious measure...
>>> Any other suggestions?
>>
>>Weeeeeeeeeeeell,
>>I had actually been working on this, in between doing my squelchy bopping.
>><passes bottle>
>>Here, have a swig of this.
Mmmmmm. Cheers. Hair of the dog, and all that. Cheers. Ooooh!
>Next time that little so-and-so tries to do
>>anything nasty to us, this little concoction (the brandy is just for the
>>flavour) will send it straight back to her. Now let's see how she likes
>>squelchy bopping.
>><swigs>
>><collapses with alcohol poisoning from "flavouring")
(Hmmmm. Youth of today, got no stamina...)
>Do you really think it's that easy? Witching is a skill you know.
>Amateur dabbling can be very dangerous. Oh, and take this...
>
><thwwwzzzksskzzt>
>.
>.
>.
><boinnnnnggggg>
>.
>.
>.
>
><glug glug glug>
>
><thinks>I knew it, the eejit, he's got the proportions all wrong... I
>seem to have turned into a bottle of brandy. I *really* hope this
>wears off before I get any visitors...</thinks>
>
Ha! Well done, that man! The bottle of, ahem, "Brandy", the silver foil,
and the hat - what a combination!
Well, then, that's exactly what we'll do. Innit, Rob? Rob?
<mode = sudden determination & resolve>
Yes!
<fx - rustle of BacoFoil and sellotape>
That's *exactly* what we'll do!
<fx - rushes out for tube of Evo-Stik, some mirrors, and a hat>
Yup, damned if we won't!
<fx - looks around for companion>
You're with me on this, aren't you Rob?
Rob?
You there, Rob?
Rob?
>You could just duck.
>
><noises off: Quack>
>
>Nugger, that didn't quite work how I meant.
Now look what you're done! Poor Chankel was just standing there waiting
to get his forehead slapped, and look at him now! This whole thing's
beyond a joke!
cheers,
robin
Yeeeeee-ESSSSSS!!!!
Personally, as long as it worked, the proportions don't bother me too
much!
Still, it was nice of me to cast a spell that made you taller :P
"A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by,
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky;
I have thought of all by turns, and yet do lie
Sleepless!" (Wordsworth)
>Trying to learn the words of the Shepherd and his Lass ( Marlowe)
>for my bit in the wedding .
>
>Come live with me and be my love etc
This always brings to mind a parody I heard once:
Come live with me and be my love
I keep a flat for mating.
There's half an hour before the bus,
Shall we do it while we're waiting?
I have a feeling it's by Roger McGough.
Hope the wedding all goes off ok.
<mode = fortissimo>
Hats for sale!
Lovely hats with mirrors!
Get yer hats here!
Mirrored hats, only 50 quid to you, sir!!
Yes, you with the wooly coat on!
</mode>
> chris harrison wrote in message
<384653C6...@icparc.ic.ac.uk>...
> >Nick Leverton wrote:
> >> In article <823uuh$1a3$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> >> <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you
>might be wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
> >> >
> >> >Mary
> >> >whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
> >>
> >> Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy
> >
> >How much does one need to qualify as a toyboy?
>
> How much what?
Chutzpah, I believe. ;-)
> >Just curious. ;)
>
> Me too :)
Oh, I've been curious for a long time now...
Mary
> In article <823uuh$1a3$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
> >
> >If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you might
>be wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
> >
> >Mary
> >whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
>
> Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy[1],
You sure that shouldn't read 'self-appointed'? <g>
>I always had a soft spot for redheads[2].
So long as it's not in Hackney Marshes...
>
> Nick
>
> [1] at my age, too[3].
>
> [2] and blondes, and brunettes, and black, and "posh mouse"
>... [4]
>
> [3] not that that is likely stop me stromboning, at all.
>
> [4] see what I mean ?
<exits, confused by feetnote>
Mary
> Nick Leverton wrote:
> >
> > In article <823uuh$1a3$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> > <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
> > >
> > >If I ever attain the dizzy heights of strumpet, you
>might be wheezed after by an ageing redhead. ;-)
> > >
> > >Mary
> > >whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
> >
> > Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy
>
> How much does one need to qualify as a toyboy?
How much enthusiasm, how much stamina, how much in the bank,
how often in the bunker... ?
> Just curious. ;)
Me too. ;-)
Mary
<snip rest of chuckleworthy warning>
Suggestions for umra Sunday:
Competition for best hat with mirrors.
Competition for best hat covering whole face.
Competition for best forged Poppy-the-cow painting. (This last is a
serious suggestion.)
Jane
The potter in the purple socks
I meant, Mary, to express my commiserations, it's never a happy time
when one's circle diminishes.
Well, I suppose I could phrase that better, but you get the idea ...
>> > Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy
>>
>> How much does one need to qualify as a toyboy?
>
>How much enthusiasm, how much stamina, how much in the bank,
>how often in the bunker... ?
Enthusiasm: enough to be endearing,
Stamina: A little more than one's boy toy ...
Hoe much in the bank: none, that's the happy part :) As long as neither
you nor she feels you're sponging, you can accept all sorts of little
treats, and return them in your own way :)
>> Just curious. ;)
>
>Me too. ;-)
It's chiefly a state of mind ;-)
Nick, Strombone and, pro tem, monogamous Toyboy
Quite sure :)
HTH
Nick.
"Well-appointed", shurely?
I've never needed to ask ;)
Nick
[snip extremely chucklesome posting]
>Signed this daye,
>
>Ye Wytchfynder General
I think you mis-spelled "Ribbit". HTH.
Nick
Marrow and ginger is nice. Oh no, that was chutney.
>> >Just curious. ;)
>>
>> Me too :)
>
>Oh, I've been curious for a long time now...
I'm serendipitous, if that's any help ?
Nick
He also did an on-bus mating one didn't he, or was that
Adrian Henri? And, come to that, probably a post-bus one too.
--
Iain Archer
I can't place the one quoted as being his - it doesn't strike me as his,
somehow - but he definitely did a very exuberant one about everyone on
the bus suddenly making love.
Did I mention I'd had a slow dance with him?
Oh. I won't mention it, then.....
--
luv Chuckler, the umra slapper
Keen member of HAHA
http://www.fanged.demon.co.uk
don't tell me, you're cutting your own throat.
--
Robin Fairbairns, Cambridge
e e cummings, acksherly.
gasp. i have the capitalisation right.
>Did I mention I'd had a slow dance with him?
>
>Oh. I won't mention it, then.....
who? mcgough?
--
Robin Fairbairns, Cambridge
I was correct, both are on the Incredible New Liverpool Scene record,
both are Roger McGough.
>Did I mention I'd had a slow dance with him?
Hmm, don't mention slow dances, sore point at the moment :(
>Oh. I won't mention it, then.....
Thank you.
Penny
Things Men Say That Make You Want To Scream #16
Have you seen *my* ...
Not the one I'm thinking of, robin. You're maybe thinking of 'she being
Brand', which is the one describing sex as if it was driving a car ;)
I can't find the book I want to quote from, which means I've lent it to
someone, and that therefore it is in Penguin Modern Poets 10 - so it's
either McGough, Patten or Henri. It includes the word 'allofasudden' -
which is also maybe what made you think of e e cummings.
>gasp. i have the capitalisation right.
<g>
>>Did I mention I'd had a slow dance with him?
>>
>>Oh. I won't mention it, then.....
>
>who? mcgough?
The very same. I thought I'd bored you all with the details before.....
I think this must be the poem you are thinking of; it is certainly the
poem I have been thinking of. However, it doesn't seem to contain the
word 'allofasudden'. That must be another of his! I rather like
'bitofalad' :)
At Lunchtime. A Story of Love
When the busstopped suddenly to avoid
damaging a mother and child in the road, the
younglady in the greenhat sitting opposite
was thrown across me, and not being one to
miss an opportunity i started to makelove
with all my body.
At first she resisted saying that it
was tooearly in the morning and toosoon
after breakfast and that anyway she found
me repulsive. But when i explained that
this being a nuclearage, the world was going
to end at lunchtime, she tookoff her
greenhat, put her busticket in her pocket
and joined in the exercise.
The buspeople, and therewere many of
them, were shockedandsuprised and amused-
andannoyed, but when the word got around
that the world was coming to an end at lunch-
time, they put their pride in their pockets
with their bustickets and madelove one with
the other. And even the busconductor, being
over, climbed into the cab and struck up
some sort of relationship with the driver.
Thatnight, on the bus coming home,
wewere all alittle embarrassed, especially me
and the younglady in the greenhat, and we
all started to say in different ways howhasty
and foolish we had been. Butthen, always
having been a bitofalad, i stood up and
said it was a pity that the world didn't nearly
end every lunchtime and that we could always
pretend. And then it happened ...
Quick asa crash we all changed partners
and soon the bus was aquiver with white
mothballbodies doing naughty things.
And the next day
And everyday
In everybus
In everystreet
In everytown
In everycountry
people pretended that the world was coming
to an end at lunchtime. It still hasn't.
Although in a way it has.
Eh? must be another pome on a similar theme. McGough's is called "At
Lunchtime. A Story of Love".
>gasp. i have the capitalisation right.
:)
OK then, I won't.
;-)
That was the one!!
Cheers, Jane, you're a gem. And if you're as short as I am, (x-thread
alert) you're a Midget Gem :)
>However, it doesn't seem to contain the
>word 'allofasudden'. That must be another of his!
I must have been confusing it with the mothballbodies ;)
I used the Post Bus nearly every day when I lived (for nearly a year) in
a caravan up the Duddon Valley and we never had any of that sort of
thing going on.
... well, that's my story, anyway.
--
Jenny
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
I just ... not so much *read* as dashed my eyes across that and it came
out in my mind with the letters in a totally different arrangement.
I quickly went back and read the sentence properly and got it right!
I checked the Poems on the Underground collection this afternoon.
It contains a Roger McGough poem, but for some reason not this one. :)
--
Iain Archer
Do we do them at home and bring them, or is Min going to bring the paint
& canvasses?
Fenny
--
'65 F Y+++ L+ U- KQ+ C c+ B-- p+ Sh+
--
--
Kirsten Procter ghoti
"that's what I think, but I don't suppose I'm right"
Eeyore and Foreign Secretary, Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society
> In article <H7UVvDAo...@otbo.demon.co.uk>,
>ja...@otbo.demon.co.uk says...
> > Competition for best forged Poppy-the-cow painting. (This
>last is a serious suggestion.)
> >
> Yes, definitely.
>
> Do we do them at home and bring them, or is Min going to
>bring the paint & canvasses?
Much more exciting if done there, with an audience. Will
artificial tails be required, or may the less talented of us
make do with a paint-brush?
Mary
pondering a Poppy self-portrait... it's all done with mirrors
> In article <829j0r$88o$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
> >In article <384653C6...@icparc.ic.ac.uk>,
> >ca...@icparc.ic.ac.uk (chris harrison) wrote:
> >
> >> Nick Leverton wrote:
> >> >
> >> > In article <823uuh$1a3$1...@plutonium.compulink.co.uk>,
> >> > <mary_...@cix.compulink.co.uk> wrote:
> >> > >
> >> > >Mary
> >> > >whose collection of toyboys is diminishing
>
> I meant, Mary, to express my commiserations, it's never a
>happy time when one's circle diminishes.
Oh, I don't know...
>
> Well, I suppose I could phrase that better, but you get the
>idea ...
I thought I did, but since I rarely have an idea that
dubious, I've decided I must have been mistaken.
>
> >> > Speaking as a recently appointed toyboy
> >>
> >> How much does one need to qualify as a toyboy?
> >
> >How much enthusiasm, how much stamina, how much in the
>bank, how often in the bunker... ?
>
> Enthusiasm: enough to be endearing,
> Stamina: A little more than one's boy toy ...
> Hoe much in the bank: none, that's the happy part :) As
>long as neither you nor she feels you're sponging, you can
>accept all sorts of little treats, and return them in your
>own way :)
Bother; you're far too well-balanced. You've been snapped
up, haven't you?
>
> >> Just curious. ;)
> >
> >Me too. ;-)
>
> It's chiefly a state of mind ;-)
>
> Nick, Strombone and, pro tem, monogamous Toyboy
Ha! Just another flirtatious strombone, out to break the
hearts of susceptible strumpets!
Mary
The latter I guess; the event coming immediately after the
Pin The Tail on the Umrat competition.
--
Iain Archer
My suggestion would be that we do them at home and bring them. Not sure
who should judge them. Min?
>I was attempting to rescue a baby squirrel from the Grey Gables swimming
>pool when Fenny thankfully interrupted me to say:
>>In article <H7UVvDAo...@otbo.demon.co.uk>, ja...@otbo.demon.co.uk
>>says...
>>> Competition for best forged Poppy-the-cow painting. (This last is a
>>> serious suggestion.)
>>>
>>Yes, definitely.
>>
>>Do we do them at home and bring them, or is Min going to bring the paint
>>& canvasses?
>>
>
>My suggestion would be that we do them at home and bring them. Not sure
>who should judge them. Min?
May those unable to attend send their virtual versions somewhere for
inclusion in the event?
Kimbo
Checking photoshop fails to discover a brush in the palette that looks
anything like a cow's tail -- ho hum, must I do *everything* myself?
--
New foca cd-rom - a perfect Christmas gift!
Formula One Cartoon Archive
http://www.foca.co.uk
k...@foca.co.uk
BTW, anyone know where I can get a cow's tail? I _suspect_ John would
not be impressed if I smuggled a cow into the pool room....