Entertaining new book with some genealogical content - The Ideal Christmas Present
Ilya Sonobavich Yugotanastikov
sock puppets, I declare that I have a personal interest in the success
of this book: I am the author and need all the royalties I can get.]
PRESS RELEASE FROM YUP
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a serious and
widespread psychological ailment, particularly rife in tropical
islands. The disorder is named after a character in Greek
mythology, Narcissus, a pansy who fell in love with his
own reflection. NPD carries diagnosis number 301.81 in
DSH-III, 3rd edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Handbook
of Mental Disorders, which specifies the following criteria:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, or beauty
3. a belief that one is "special" and can only be understood by other
"cognoscenti"
4. a craving for excessive admiration
5. lack of empathy
6. envy or a delusion that others are envious
7. arrogant behavior
NPD has been the subject of a lifetime's study by Russian psychologist
Ilya Sonobavich Yugotanastikov.
An expatriate of the former Soviet Union, Yugotanastikov did his Ph.D.
on NPD at George Washington University and then moved to Brown
University to take a degree in proctology, which qualified him to
provide psychosomatic treatment for assholes of all kinds.
His doctoral dissertation from 1991, written under the supervision of
distinguished psychiatrist Alexei Thymia, was a case study entitled
"The Long-Suffering Mrs H: Familial Relationships in Cases of
Narcissistic Personality Disorder."
Ever since then, Yugotanastikov has been following the same
fascinating and tragic family, and his findings have now been
presented in a new book, "Living With Narcissus: A Nutcase Study"
(Yale University Press, 2007). The following is a summary of the
contents.
The disorder first manifested itself in late adolescence, when it
became obvious that the patient, referred to by the fictitious name
Heinz Spencer Davis, would not be able to live up to the high hopes
nourished for him by an extraordinarily successful father. This
resulted in Natural Parental Disappointment (NPD) in the
over-ambitious father, which was then transmitted to his direct
descendant. The son was expected to follow in his father's
wellingtoned bootsteps and pursue a career in the US Navy, with the
rank of rear admiral as the ultimate target. Unfortunately, Davis
never became more than a petty NCO (Naughtical Cottaging Officer), a
failure which was a direct consequence of his Naval Performance
Dysfunction (NPD).
After a long and inglorious career in the navy, Davis retired to spend
his days at a computer screen, where he found some consolation in
abusing Usenet, an addictive habit which led to Newsgroup Posting
Dependency (NPD). His compulsive posting swelled to become posturing,
thus perstering and infecting an increasing number of newsgroups which
were powerless to prevent the epidemic. Apart from the predictable
self-aggrandizement and hissy fits, the posts reveal an anally
retentive need to correct the most trifling details, the urge known as
Nitpicking Pedantic Desperation (NPD).
One of the idiosyncratic features of the disorder as manifested in
Davis is an inordinate passion for genealogy, otherwise known to be a
widespread bent among homosexuals and bastards. This has led Davis to
an inflated belief in the dignity of his own ancestry, presenting in
the form of Notional Plantagenet Descent (NPD). A comorbid condition
is Nauseous Patriotic Derangement (NPD), an exaggerated love of the
country that he thinks should be proud to have given birth to him.
At some stage the ailment also caused an imbalance in the brain, with
the result that Davis began to lean dangerously to the right,
suffering from Neocon Political Deception (NPD) and its sequela, Nancy
Pelosi Detestation (NPD).
Envy of other people who have enjoyed greater success and popularity
is a well-known sign of the disorder. In the case of Davis this
displays itself in a compulsive hatred of one particular New York
academic. Davis is believed to be the only person in the world
suffering from this anserine obsession, for which Yugotanastikov has
coined the witty Neolatin label Novoeboracensis Professoris
Despicientia (NPD).
Yugotanastikov is uncertain as to whether all the somatic complaints
afflicting Davis are due to his psychological disorder, but strongly
suspects that this is also the root cause of the Nocturnal Penile
Discharge (NPD) that is equally troublesome for Mrs. Davis.
Countless therapy sessions with the patient's loyal wife have yielded
a huge amount of invaluable research data. Mrs. Davis recalls the
earliest warning sign, something that Davis said on their very first
date: "But that's enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do YOU
think of me?"
Yugotanastikov's latest study also includes a penetrating analysis of
the NPD patient's cultural interests. The titles of songs favored by
Heinz Spencer Davis speak volumes: "I'm A Man," "Gimme Some Lovin',"
"Somebody Help Me." When it comes to films, Davis readily confuses
them with reality. He has learned all the history he knows through the
medium of costume dramas. His favorite movie, needless to say, is
"Braveheart," one of the chief sources of the morbid sexual fantasy
known as Nox Prima Delusions (NPD).
CHRIS...@aol.com
<i...@npdcenter.com> wrote:
> [Unlike other authors who praise their own books through the medium of
> sock puppets, I declare that I have a personal interest in the success
> of this book: I am the author and need all the royalties I can get.]
>
> PRESS RELEASE FROM YUP
>
> Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a serious and
> widespread psychological ailment, particularly rife in tropical
> islands. The disorder is named after a character in Greek
> mythology, Narcissus, a pansy who fell in love with his
> own reflection. NPD carries diagnosis number 301.81 in
> DSH-III, 3rd edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Handbook
> of Mental Disorders, which specifies the following criteria:
>
> 1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
> 2. fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, or beauty
> 3. a belief that one is "special" and can only be understood by other
> "cognoscenti"
> 4. a craving for excessive admiration
> 5. lack of empathy
> 6. envy or a delusion that others are envious
> 7. arrogant behavior
how do you know so much about Todd Farmerie? curious, you have
described him to a tee
chris
robl...@msn.com
can hardly wait to read your book. Is it available through Amazon?
--LOL (Laughing Old Lurker)