Last apologies. Last post here.

[James Harris]

I realized just now just how seriously I abused the helpfulness and
kindness of people from this newsgroup and at colleges and universities
around the country, as well as AMS editors.

I'm posting this because I know that many of them may happen to see this.

I can't send email to them directly because I was forced to throw away
all of their addresses to stop from emailing. In a way I guess this post
is just more of the same silliness but oh well.

Having spent a lifetime learning high-pressure sales techniques: I was
brought up as a Jehovah's Witness (I'm no longer one) and having read
books on sales and psychology since I was about ten years old, I know all
of the tools and techniques (I still fall for them myself which might
explain my past, now permanently lapsed Amway distributorship).

It was just too easy to use those to get attention when I was going
through a trying time in my life. I do feel honored to have corresponded
with some of the top mathematicians in the world, but I'll be forever
embarrassed about the subject of those conversations and how I acted.

I do consider myself an intelligent person and I have a continuing
interest in mathematics. I no longer have delusions about my abilities
on the subject or the depth of my interest.

So, I'm hoping to put this to rest now. Honestly, I didn't get much
negative feedback and I'm sure that for the most part I've been ignored
(thankfully). I guess the Internet makes this sort of thing too easy.
But I've felt guilty nonetheless.

Well, that's enough of this balderdash and I'm outta here.