Mikali "Banshee" sh'Shar - Sobriety is Hell. Other People is Hell.

[David Adams]

The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats. 

- The Fact Sphere

(( OOC: Obviously, this is sh'Shar's point of view, so the lines reflect how she sees them and shouldn't be used for copy/paste! ))

(( OOC: For a line-accurate version of this sim see Tan's version since he's paying attention and in a much better mood. ))

(( Bridge, USS Avandar ))

:: Yakkity yak-yak-yak. The talking made her head hurt. ::

Vetri: Let's not try and blah blah blah, hmm?

Tan: I'm merely stupid and not as good at flying as sh'Shar.

Vetri: Quite well.

S'Acul: Duuuuh, I'm a dumb hairless cat whose face is dumb.

Ben’thal: ::Politely.:: How would you suggest we blah blah blah Commander? Perhaps a blah blah blah blah blah, or we could blah blah blah blah blah?

:: Did nobody ever shut up around here? sh'Shar flew the ship in a straight damn line, doing nothing of any interest. Her teeth grated. She felt hot, then cold, her finger endlessly tapping on the edge of her console. ::

Tan: Actually, we could blah blah blah. The stupid probe's a blah; blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah.

Ben’thal: Sounds like pointless science crap, and something about computers. Blah blah blah blah blah.

:: Arrrrgh. It was infuriating. This whole... thing. Her uniform felt a bit too tight; she tugged at her collar, wiggling a finger around to get more room. 

Vetri: I'm probably insulting sh'Shar's flying ability now, something something, blah blah. Blah blah blah. Something about not being able to dodge? Eh. Who cares. ::a moment of blessed silence:: S'TupidCat, you feel like blah blah blah?

S'Acul: Duuurrhg, would I! I ams S'TupidCat, me love stupid stuff!

:: Dumb cat. ::

Vetri: Just blah blah blah blah. ::to Tan and Ben'thal:: Any indication at all regarding stuff that's just totally irrelevant, like blah blah science-puke brainy meat stuff?

Tan: I'm spotted and stupid, and between me and S'TupidCat we're ganging up on poor ole' Mikali because we're stupid faces who are stupid. Blah blah blah... science and crap that I just don't care about. Blah blah blah blah blah?

Vetri: Works for me.

:: People came and left and sh'Shar continued to tap on her console. ::

Vetri: Okay, if we're all ready?

Tan: If S'Toopid's ready to blah blah blah, I could really use a drink.

S'Acul: A-yuuuh! Derp derp derp derp. Nyaowwww.

:: She focused her eyes on her console, but her mind's eye was imaging T'Lea and S'Acul sharing a nice healthy bag of nails. Nom nom nom, tastes like death! ::

Vetri: Nearian, blah blah blah.

Ben’thal: Yes Ma’am. Blah blah, science stuff. 

:: A very slight tremble in the deck plating announced the probe being sent on it's way. Or maybe it was her hand, she had no idea. ::

Ben’thal: Probe tracking is good, systems link is normal.

S'Acul: Blah blah, meow mix meow mix, herp derp terp.

:: Her fingernails dug into the metal slightly. The ship was just hovering here. Double shifts of this? Doing nothing? Might as well just shoot her. ::

Vetri: Blah blah blah. Okay, let's annoy sh'Shar with annoying nothingness of annoyingness.

Ben’thal: The signal light is blah blah blah. Mr. Stupid Spottyface, did you blah blah blah?

Vetri: Blah blah blah. Blah blah.

:: Three hours, eight minutes, twenty six seconds until her duty shift was over. Then bed. Then another double duty shift... then bed, then another double duty shift... ::

Tan: Blah blah blah, then a blah. Stupid crap blah blah blah.

:: The Evil Matriarch of Evil Doom reappeared on the bridge. The Wicked Witch of the West. The Dark Lady Saurina, who forged the One Combadge To Rule Them All. ::

T’Lea:  S'TupidCat, blah blah blah blah. I'm evil and stupid and dumb.  ::glancing back at Big Ben::  Mr. Ben’thal, blah blah blah. Tried to steal sh'Shar's precious thingie. And now all the booze is gone. I'm so evil and twisted!

:: What kind of name was Ben'thal anyway? Like... menthol. Which you could drink. ::

:: She imagined T'Lea with a huge moustache and giant cane, twirling both and cackling malevolently. Behold her booze-destroying evilness! ::

Vetri: Blah blah blah blah. This stupid mission is stupid and exists to make sh'Shar uncomfortable.

:: Three hours, seven minutes, four seconds until her duty shift was over. ::

Ben’thal: ?

:: Mikali felt, rather than saw, T'Evil move over to towards her. She glanced over her shoulder slightly, catching T'Evil's eye, then back to her work. She hoped the bags under her eyes weren't too visible. ::

sh'Shar: Yeah?

:: Perhaps that was a bit more snappy than intended. ::

T'Lea: ?

:: sh'Shar jabbed a blue finger at her console. ::

sh'Shar: Hey I'm here, aren't I? The last time I was flying during a mission I got my eye blow up and my fingers blown off. This could be triggering post-traum-

T'Lea: ?

sh'Shar: ::stiffly:: As you wish, Commander. ::muttering:: ... tightpants.

T'Lea: ?

Vetri: Jack, will you blah blah to Engineering to blah blah blah, or some stupid stuff like that?

Mancuso: ?

:: Mancuso. Pretty much one of the few eligible non-evil, non-stupid hotties left on this damn boat. Yeah, he was smoking hot a'right, and he didn't even seem to know it -- which made it even better. Why, she'd just love to accidentally expose Engineering to a substance that dissolved... ... well, whatever Starfleet uniforms were made out of. That'd be funny. ::

:: Being honest, though, she had no more energy left for pranks. She just wanted to crawl into her sonic shower and sleep. Then clean herself in her bed. Or something. ::

Vetri: We can blah blah blah, stupid stuff, I think. Unless it's a-blah blah blah, blah blah?

Mancuso: ?

Vetri: ::smiling:: I like to avoid, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Mancuso: ?

Any: ?

:: Stupid spotty face's console beeped. She found the noise grating, her antenna curling up. Did he have the volume turned up on purpose? ::

Tan: Captain, blah blah blah. I'm a washed up has-been who's stupid and dumb and almost as dumb as S'TupidCat, but spottier and probably even worse in the sack. Blah blah blah. And that worm thingie is gross too.

Vetri: ?

:: Another moment of blessed, blessed silence. Then dummie had to go ruin it again. She blocked out his speaking completely, closing her eyes a moment and trying to think of happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Go to your happy place, sh'Shar... go to your happy place... ::

(( sh'Shar's Happy Place ))

:: The Mk XII laser-saw, AKA "The Deforester" or "Bane of the Rainforests", fired up the moment she flicked the switch. Clasping the emitter in both hands she wheeled about, imagining the caricatures of those who had treated her unjustly. ::

S'TupidCat: Nuuuuuuuuuuuu, I'm sorry I betrayed you for absolutely no reason!

:: Slice! Stab! MRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrow! Paging doctor Schrodinger, I solved your puzzle! Definitely dead! ::

sh'Shar: Die, you hairless stupid face!

T'Evil: I'm sorrrrrrry! I'm sorrrrrry! I just have the hots for you, and I'm jealous of your mighty mighty blue beautiful body!

:: Nyah! Slash! Burn burn burn! Half Vulcan, half Romulan? Hah! Left/Right, or Top/Bottom? ::

sh'Shar: You will be sorry!

th'Ktell: I'm one of your fathers and I'm telling you you're not going out dressed like that, young lady!

:: Right down the middle! ::

sh'Shar: Waaaaaaaaaah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Die, foolish mortals! Behold my bountiful blue benevolence!

(( Bridge, USS Avandar ))

:: She gave a soft groan, reaching up and rubbing her eyes. Urgh. ::

:: A minor correction was made with the ship's thrusters, a slight 'puff' of the ship's thrusters, holding position. ::

T'Lea: ?

sh'Shar: Just a minor invariance caused by the... ... thingie. Uh, the comet. When concentrations of space dust exceed three hundred atoms per cubic metre, which happens around obstacles like comets or inside nebula, sometimes you have to give the thrusters a quick burst just so they're primed in case we have to manoeuvre in a big hurry. Sometimes the jets can become clogged. It's an old helmsman's trick.

T'Lea: ?

:: Her antenna dropped and she forced them back up again. ::

sh'Shar: Well, spending so much time on a Prometheus class ship... seemed like every damn day we were getting our blue butts shot at. I guess we just learned to always be ready to move if we needed to. ::slightly edged:: Surprisingly enough, Commander, I can actually fly.

T'Lea: ?

Tag! TBC...

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Mikali "Banshee" sh'Shar

Helm

USS Avandar