PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ!!!
Tom Watson
What CAD program should I use to design my Pukey Duck?
AutoCad would be the cheapest way to go. You might try to pick up a
copy of the proprietary CAD program that ILM (Industrial Light and
Magic) uses - might be one on EBray. Lacking that, there's the design
software that NASA uses to build its stuff - O'Deen prolly has a copy
laying around.
Where can I get plans for Pukey Ducks?
JOAT would be happy to give you free plans. He's always happy to
reply to emule requests for free plans from folks just like you.
Hell, if you're in the neighborhood, just stop on by and see him. If
I can find his phone number, I'll cross post it to all of Usenet so
that you'll be sure to see it.
Should I stain my Pukey Duck or leave it natural?
This is one of those religious issues that pops up occassionaly here
on The Wreck. I don't really give a damn what you do.
What are the contest rules?
Who said anything about rules? This is The Wreck, dipstick - and we
don't need no steenkin' rules. Anyway, I'm figuring that we all put
up pictures of our Pukey Ducks and on the Eighth Anniversary (April
24) we'll borrow the Applause Meter from 'Name That Tune' and use it.
Hasn't 'Name That Tune' been off the air for years?
(sound of gunshot) Next question.
Will the competition be broken down into categories?
I was hoping that each of the entries would be so distinctive as to
resist categorization entirely but in a general sense we could have
MOST PUKEY, MOST DUCKY, BEST NEANDER DUQUE, BEST NORMITE DUK, that
sorta thing.
Where should I put up pictures of my completed Pukey Duck?
I don't give a...Oh, that was a previous question. Well, ya could put
them up on ABPW but I'd stay away from ABPF because those guys are a
bunch of elitist pricks and it's best not to get them all fired up.
You could put them up on your personal webspace, provided by your ISP.
You could hack into the CIA website and put them up there, for that
matter.
What kind of finish should I put on my Pukey Duck?
Another religious question. The traditional Pukey Duck finish is dog
pee. It will not be a problem, even for the most neo of neophytes to
achieve the warm amber glow that marks this historically correct
finish. Just set your freshly sanded Pukey Duck on the lawn - dogs
will pass up a bitch in heat to pee on a freshly sanded Pukey Duck.
How many entries can I put up?
It's kinda like they say about Election Day in Philly - 'Vote Early
and Often'. Since there ain't no rules it don't matter how many
entries you put up. You ain't gonna win nuthin' anyways.
Speaking of that - what are the prizes?
(Quoting a Great American) 'Sigh...' You really need to get over
this childish bullshit about prizes and such. Who are we to sit in
judgement over another man's Pukey Duck and therefore who are we to
hand out prizes. Besides, yer talkin' about some seriously cheap
bastuhds, no way anybody's kickin' in to provide prize money for some
stupid Pukey Duck. If the acclaim and huzzahs of yer fellow
rec.normites ain't enough fer ya - bugger off then.
(This Pukey Duck FAQ is a living document. All suggestions will be
carefully considered before being ignored. Have a nice day).
Regards, Tom
Thomas J. Watson - Cabinetmaker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
www.tjwcabinetmaker.com
Jim Mc Namara
PLEASE! Do not use Minwax Poly on your Pukey Duck. It is waaay too
valuable and should be reserved for Jummywood and cherry.
Thank you for your support. ;-)
Jummy
"Tom Watson" so eloquently wrote in message:
> PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.
>
> Should I stain my Pukey Duck or leave it natural?
>
> What kind of finish should I put on my Pukey Duck?
Patrick Olguin (O'Deen)
Tom Watson wrote:
> PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.
[truly inspired FAQ tamped into the netherworld]
I have a question and a clarification.
Question - do you say FACK or Eff-Fay-Cue, when pronouncing FAQ either
aloud or in your head? For me it's always been FACK. Prounouncable
acronyms ought to always be uh well... prounounced! Take RADAR. No one
sez: ARR-Ay-Dee-Ay-Arr. They'd put you on the short bus for sure. Same
goes for FAQ. If you do say Eff-Fay-Cue, well then... you've got issues
and perhaps they need exlporing. How long did you say you worked in
musical theatre? Ummmhmmm.
Ok, for the rest of youse. Regarding Pukey Ducks. It's Pukey as in Puke.
Pewk-ey. Not Pucky. I remember Gunterman, aka, Spokeshave used to
pronounce it Pucky as though it were of the horse variety, and the first
time I heard it in his clipped Yankee vernacular I about fell outta my
damned chair. "It's pukey! As in inspiring vomit, ya damned chucklehead!"
I told him. Sheesh.
Not that I'm a little anal-retentive, controlling or otherwise obsessed
about pronunciation, or have a retired linguistics professor for a father.
Nope, not me. Hunh-unh. Not a problem. No way. Yall say it any old way you
want.
Pucky ducks fer chrissakes... what the hell was that big galoot thinking.
Too many fumes inhaled near the tailpipe of a Harley is what I'm thinking.
Grouse grumble moan... where's my damn block plane. Ahhh all better.
O'Deen.
--
http://www.klownhammer.org/ - Home of the World-Famous Original Crowbar
FAQ
Norman D. Crow
"Jim Mc Namara" <act...@flash.net> wrote in message
news:qV_ka.318$Nu1...@newssvr19.news.prodigy.com...
> One important note, Tom (if you don't mind . . . )
>
> PLEASE! Do not use Minwax Poly on your Pukey Duck. It is waaay too
> valuable and should be reserved for Jummywood and cherry.
AMEN!
Nahmie(R,D, & G)
Tom Watson
<pa...@klownhammer.org> wrote:
>
>I have a question and a clarification.
>
>Question - do you say FACK or Eff-Fay-Cue, when pronouncing FAQ either
>aloud or in your head? For me it's always been FACK. Prounouncable
>acronyms ought to always be uh well... prounounced! Take RADAR. No one
>sez: ARR-Ay-Dee-Ay-Arr. They'd put you on the short bus for sure. Same
>goes for FAQ. If you do say Eff-Fay-Cue, well then... you've got issues
>and perhaps they need exlporing. How long did you say you worked in
>musical theatre? Ummmhmmm.
Weren't in Musical Theatre - dorkmeat! Were in Theatre - that be Art,
not Ennertainment, and thus provided no incum. Az to ya qwestion ray:
Pronunciation:
It is a little known faqt that the 'Q', in its Old English usage was
pronounced as a hard 'G'. This would make the correct pronunciation
of 'FAQ' to be 'FAG'. Some readers may find this pronunciation to be
disturbing, at best, and Politically Incorrect, at worst. Fuggem. A
Philological Anal-ysis of this term would reveal its Antecedents as a
comment on the users of the term, rather than the term itself. To
this day we call those who worry about the pronunciation of 'FAQ' as
'FAGS'. Hey, you could look it up!
>
>Ok, for the rest of youse. Regarding Pukey Ducks. It's Pukey as in Puke.
>Pewk-ey. Not Pucky. I remember Gunterman, aka, Spokeshave used to
>pronounce it Pucky as though it were of the horse variety, and the first
>time I heard it in his clipped Yankee vernacular I about fell outta my
>damned chair. "It's pukey! As in inspiring vomit
It is never to be reccomended that one inspire vomit! (op.cit. -
"Medical Issues Regarding the Use and Abuse of Pukey Ducks", Baloney,
et al, 1997).
y.o.b.
Unisaw A100
pukey duck but couldn't find it at my local lumber yard. I
did find it at WalMart but it was already a piece of
furniture. Is it OK to use this?
UA100
Bob Kuphal
Ya knew that was come'in .......... :-)
Jim Mc Namara wrote:
> One important note, Tom (if you don't mind . . . )
>
> PLEASE! Do not use Minwax Poly on your Pukey Duck. It is waaay too
> valuable and should be reserved for Jummywood and cherry.
>
> Thank you for your support. ;-)
>
> Jummy
>
Bob Kuphal -- Green Lake, Wisconsin
Remove NOSPAM to email
Tom Watson
wrote:
Recycling is an honorable way to go on this projekt and yer a fine ole
dood fer even thinkin' 'bout it. Anyone who makes a Pukey Duck from
virgin timbre prolly oughta have a can a whoopazz opened up on them.
If you will note Jummy's eponymic reference to Jummywood (see supra)
you will see that this is the only appropriate old growth slammajamma
to make Pukey Ducks with.
Back to that recycling issue: Be sure to plane off the staple marks
from the WallyWorld Funiture. It is considered to be bad norm
(psy...) to leave these as a reference to its previous usage.
(BTW: Watch out fer boltheads and such when you run yer Satanly
Cabnet Skraper over yer Pukey Duck. Gettcha one a Nahmie's Airline
Quality Metal Detectors (hurry to buy one - they're gettin' scarcer
than Satanly 55 Nickers) and give a couple passes over yer work.
Dat's da ticket!)
ps As yer a designer sorta fella, I'll pass along this design
qwestion that has cum up in my voluminous emule on this subjekt:
Many ask: "I have become entranced by the design possibilities of
'Robin's Butt'. This curve has come to replace the 'Cyma Recta' as
well as the 'Cyma Reversa' in my work. Is it acceptable to include
this element in my Pukey Duck?"
You are so much better placed; this is so much more 'up yer alley', so
to speak. I would defer to yer judgement as to its possible
inclusion.
My own response would be only to refer to that wisdom that I've seen
on Television:
"A behind is a terrible thing to waste."
Rob Weaver
Absolutely Keeter! It's entirely within the charter to use pre-puked
X-mart (where X = Wal or K) stock provided that when the pliobond dries,
you touch up all hammer and skil-saw marks with spray flat-black engine
paint.
If they're out of engine paint, check the outdoor goods isle for
barbecue high-temp paint, and deduct two points off your grade for
substitute materials.
All the best,
Rob Weaver
David F. Eisan
> PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.
I am all over this, and I are gonna win this one!
Thanks on so many levels,
David.
Every neighbourhood has one, in mine, I'm him.
Remove the "splinter" from my email address to email me.
Newbies, please read this newsgroups FAQ.
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Tom Watson
<dfe...@rogers.splinter.com> wrote:
>Dearest Tom,
>
>> PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.
>
>I am all over this, and I are gonna win this one!
>
>Thanks on so many levels,
>
>David.
Gotta Witness!!! Dat's da kinda spirit we needs!!!
Sinz y'all from Kanada - yew should know dat PUKEY GEESE ARE INCLUDED
BY TREATY in da PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST. Yeeeehaaa!!!
Puke On, Bruddah!!!
Larry Jaques
>
>
>Tom Watson wrote:
>
>> PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST - FAQ.
>
>[truly inspired FAQ tamped into the netherworld]
>
>I have a question and a clarification.
>
>Question - do you say FACK or Eff-Fay-Cue, when pronouncing FAQ either
Just the FACKS, maam.
>Pucky ducks fer chrissakes... what the hell was that big galoot thinking.
>Too many fumes inhaled near the tailpipe of a Harley is what I'm thinking.
It beats a Santa Clause thread in July, wot?
>Grouse grumble moan... where's my damn block plane. Ahhh all better.
Gonna use that newfangled beaut to make your PD, O'D?
-----
= The wealth of reality, cannot be seen from your locality. =
http://www.diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development
Unisaw A100
>ps As yer a designer sorta fella, I'll pass along this design
>qwestion that has cum up in my voluminous emule on this subjekt:
>Many ask: "I have become entranced by the design possibilities of
>'Robin's Butt'. This curve has come to replace the 'Cyma Recta' as
>well as the 'Cyma Reversa' in my work. Is it acceptable to include
>this element in my Pukey Duck?"
I had not given thought to marrying Robin's buttocks to a
pukey duck. Me? I've been pondering the head of Thorstein
Veblen into my design.
http://www.socsci.mcmaster.ca/~econ/ugcm/3ll3/veblen/
Don't nobody steal my design ideas now. I have it trade
marked, copyrighted and patents are pending.
>You are so much better placed; this is so much more 'up yer alley', so
>to speak. I would defer to yer judgement as to its possible
>inclusion.
I tossed and turned all night. I saw Robin's buttocks and
when she turned around she had the face of Bob Vila and the
manly arms of Norm Abram.
>My own response would be only to refer to that wisdom that I've seen
>on Television:
>"A behind is a terrible thing to waste."
Or in the werds of Dan Quayle, "Waste is a terrible thing to
mind. So true. So true".
UA100
Chris
> Gotta Witness!!! Dat's da kinda spirit we needs!!!
>
> Sinz y'all from Kanada - yew should know dat PUKEY GEESE ARE INCLUDED
> BY TREATY in da PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST. Yeeeehaaa!!!
>
> Puke On, Bruddah!!!
>
Ay, waddabout Pukey Pidgeons? Being from Joisy, alls we got here is
pidgeons. I'm gowna make mine from Paterson Palm (that's Sumac for
all youse midwesterners).
-Chris
Larry Jaques
pixelated:
>Tom Watson wrote:
>>ps As yer a designer sorta fella, I'll pass along this design
>>qwestion that has cum up in my voluminous emule on this subjekt:
>
>>Many ask: "I have become entranced by the design possibilities of
>>'Robin's Butt'. This curve has come to replace the 'Cyma Recta' as
>>well as the 'Cyma Reversa' in my work. Is it acceptable to include
>>this element in my Pukey Duck?"
Isn't Pulchritudinous Pukey Duck an oxymoron?
Besides, Robin's butt on a pukey duck is about as
respectful as a plastic bobbing jayzus-on-the-cross
stuck onto your dashboard.
>I had not given thought to marrying Robin's buttocks to a
>pukey duck. Me? I've been pondering the head of Thorstein
>Veblen into my design.
>
>http://www.socsci.mcmaster.ca/~econ/ugcm/3ll3/veblen/
>
>Don't nobody steal my design ideas now. I have it trade
>marked, copyrighted and patents are pending.
That'll be a sure hit on Halloween, Keef.
Larry Jaques
pixelated:
Au contraire, mon ami. The use of any high-temp paints
makes for a very poor bonfire later. DO NOT USE THEM!
Conan the Librarian
> Gotta Witness!!! Dat's da kinda spirit we needs!!!
>
> Sinz y'all from Kanada - yew should know dat PUKEY GEESE ARE INCLUDED
> BY TREATY in da PUKEY DUCK DESIGN/BUILD CONTEST. Yeeeehaaa!!!
Er ... uh ... sorry, but being married to an authentic
Canuckistani, I can say without a doubt that it should be a pukey
*loon*. If you don't believe me, just look at their money. They have
a picture of a loon, not a geese on their dollar coinage (Conversion
rate: Cndn loon = $0.10 American).
They also got their "twoonie", but that a whole 'nother kettle of
fowl.
Yrs. etc.,
Chuck Vance
Tom Watson
wrote:
>I had not given thought to marrying Robin's buttocks to a
>pukey duck. Me? I've been pondering the head of Thorstein
>Veblen into my design.
>
>http://www.socsci.mcmaster.ca/~econ/ugcm/3ll3/veblen/
>
>Don't nobody steal my design ideas now. I have it trade
>marked, copyrighted and patents are pending
I see yer tryin' ta steal a march on the competition in the Ugly
Duckling Category. So far, I think Thorstein's visage is a clear
winner..
>
>I tossed and turned all night. I saw Robin's buttocks and
>when she turned around she had the face of Bob Vila and the
>manly arms of Norm Abram.
Ewwwwwww!!! Try to remember what you ate for dinner last night and
eliminate it from your diet.
>
>Or in the werds of Dan Quayle, "Waste is a terrible thing to
>mind. So true. So true".
>
Ya know, Danny Boy has the makings of a pretty good Pukey Duck.
Larry Jaques
pixelated:
> Er ... uh ... sorry, but being married to an authentic
>Canuckistani, I can say without a doubt that it should be a pukey
>*loon*. If you don't believe me, just look at their money. They have
>a picture of a loon, not a geese on their dollar coinage (Conversion
>rate: Cndn loon = $0.10 American).
I just adore their Claudia Schiffer $20 bill.