Cloven objects
John A. Jordan Ii.
of revel experiences, but I've seen cloven coconuts, raisins, garlic,
cucumbers, sausauges, and flank steak (raw). My compatriots have yet to
discover that which they cannot clove, and that which someone will not
accept. They keep trying though.
Jester of Anglesea
...Whaddaya mean someone already vandalized it? We were gonna do that!
David Matthew Deane
> A cloven onion is not really that wild. I have a fairly limited number
>of revel experiences, but I've seen cloven coconuts, raisins, garlic,
>cucumbers, sausauges, and flank steak (raw). My compatriots have yet to
>discover that which they cannot clove, and that which someone will not
>accept. They keep trying though.
The most bizarre cloven object I have seen were cloven, white lab rats (the
rats were freeze dried to preserve them, I believe). Yikes! Imagine being
offered a cloven rat? I saw this at 12th night in the West Kingdom a couple of
years ago. The proud owner of the cloven rats was a Lady by the name of Coolan
or Kulahn or something. I think she is a Mongol or Hun or something.
As far as the use of cloven fruit, at the College of St. Katherine (UC
Berkeley) the practice was to bit a clove with one's teeth, pull the clove out,
and have the person who originally offered the cloven fruit retrieve the clove
with a kiss (the intimacy of the kiss being determined by the person who
received the cloven fruit). Needless to say, the Kates are a very lecherous
bunch.
David the Fretful
Sable fretty argent, on a base indented or, a fret couped sable.
============================================================================
David Matthew Deane (de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu)
When the words fold open,
it means the death of doors;
even casement windows sense the danger. (Amon Liner)
Dick Eney
in Caer Mear -- then a part of the Eastrealm -- I had the crude but
interesting pleasure of heralding for a feast at which, after everyone had
received their portions, I announced that all the guests had just been
served with cloved ham. The sequel might be called, in the Chinese
phrase, Interesting Times.
-- Vuong Manh (dick...@access.digex.com)
Corun MacAnndra
come up with a whole new meaning to the term "cloven fruit." ;-)
In service,
Corun (I'm straight, but not narrow)
--
===========================================================================
Corun MacAnndra | Yes, we have no bananas.
Dark Horde by birth | No bananas in Scranton, P A
Moritu by choice | H. Chapin
Dick Eney
Jack Coyote
>You know, it seems to me that the good folk of Clan Blue Feather might
>come up with a whole new meaning to the term "cloven fruit." ;-)
Too late. It's been done. Poor Emrys was passed around all evening ;)
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikolai Arkadyovich | But home is: Nordskogen
Shire of Silverkeep | Principality of Northshield
Atenveldt | (How do you like us so far?)
Jeff Lee
David the Fretful writes:
> In article <93093.122...@auvm.american.edu>, John A. Jordan Ii. <JJ9...@auvm.american.edu> writes:
>> A cloven onion is not really that wild. I have a fairly limited number
>>of revel experiences, but I've seen cloven coconuts, raisins, garlic,
>>cucumbers, sausauges, and flank steak (raw).
>
> The most bizarre cloven object I have seen were cloven, white lab rats (the
> rats were freeze dried to preserve them, I believe).
I think the most hilarious cloven object I've seen was a cloven codpiece.
A close second was a `cloven lemming' made from marzipan.
===== Jeff Lee / jl...@smylex.uucp / jlee%smyle...@tscs.tscs.com =====
===== SCA: Lord Godfrey de Shipbrook / Wyvernwood, Trimaris =====
===== Per pale azure and argent, a clarion counterchanged or and gules =====
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Wilson Heydt
David Matthew Deane (de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu) writes:
>In article <93093.122...@auvm.american.edu>, John A. Jordan Ii. <JJ9...@auvm.american.edu> writes:
>> A cloven onion is not really that wild. I have a fairly limited number
>>of revel experiences, but I've seen cloven coconuts, raisins, garlic,
>>discover that which they cannot clove, and that which someone will not
>>accept. They keep trying though.
>
>offered a cloven rat? I saw this at 12th night in the West Kingdom a couple of
>years ago. The proud owner of the cloven rats was a Lady by the name of Coolan
>or Kulahn or something. I think she is a Mongol or Hun or something.
Kuhlan (I'm not sure of the spelling, either) is head of the Huns and
a very nice person.
--Hal
Hal Ravn, West Kingdom
Wilson H. Heydt, Jr., Albany, CA 94706, 510/524-8321 (home)
Nothing in this missive constitutes an act or opinion of the Lord High
Constable of the Kingdom of the West unless otherwise explicitly stated.
--
Hal Heydt |
Analyst, Pacific*Bell | If you think the system is working,
510-823-5447 | Ask someone who's waiting for a prompt.
whh...@pbhya.PacBell.COM |
coz...@garnet.berkeley.edu
> A cloven onion is not really that wild. I have a fairly limited number
>of revel experiences, but I've seen cloven coconuts, raisins, garlic,
Once at a Ducal Prize Tourney somebody cloved a zucchini. Then King
Christian belly-danced (expertly, too: probably from watching his lady
wife) with the zucchini balanced sword-wise on his head. Then we
declared the thing a holy Christian relic (one of several) and auctioned
it off for a goodly sum. Siobhan of Cloverdell bought it and took it
home, added a lot of chocolate, and turned it into truffles which she
presented to Christian as he stepped down at Twelfth Night.
Now Christian has just won the Crown again. This reign ought to be fun.
Dorothea of Caer-Myrddin Dorothy J. Heydt
Mists/Mists/West UC Berkeley
Argent, a cross forme'e sable coz...@garnet.berkeley.edu
Disclaimer: UCB and the Cozzarelli lab are not responsible for my
opinions, and in fact I don't think they know I have any.
David Matthew Deane
(Wilson Heydt) writes:
>David Matthew Deane (de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu) writes:
>>The most bizarre cloven object I have seen were cloven, white lab rats (the
>>rats were freeze dried to preserve them, I believe). Yikes! Imagine being
>>offered a cloven rat? I saw this at 12th night in the West Kingdom a couple of
>>years ago. The proud owner of the cloven rats was a Lady by the name of Coolan
>>or Kulahn or something. I think she is a Mongol or Hun or something.
>
>Kuhlan (I'm not sure of the spelling, either) is head of the Huns and
>a very nice person.
Indeed she is. Kuhlan can also be counted on to start up a spree of wolf
howling in the evening at West Kingdom camping events. Aahhrrooooooo!!!
BTW, is she the owner of the fur hat named "Bob" which I've heard so much
about? I believe someone tried to get "Bob" an AoA or a knighthood or
something once.
David the Fretful
(If anyone is ever at a war in the West Kingdom and sees a bunch of light
fighters wearing blue tabards with a white winged arrow, that's Long Shot
Company. Kill them for me. Tell them Fretful says hi.)
David Matthew Deane
writes:
>Once at a Ducal Prize Tourney somebody cloved a zucchini. Then King
>Christian belly-danced (expertly, too: probably from watching his lady
>wife) with the zucchini balanced sword-wise on his head. Then we
>declared the thing a holy Christian relic (one of several) and auctioned
>it off for a goodly sum. Siobhan of Cloverdell bought it and took it
>home, added a lot of chocolate, and turned it into truffles which she
>presented to Christian as he stepped down at Twelfth Night.
This sacred relic was known colloquially as "the Zucch" is believe, yes?
David the Fretful
Sable fretty argent, on a base indented or, a fret couped sable.
David Matthew Deane
>You know, it seems to me that the good folk of Clan Blue Feather might
>come up with a whole new meaning to the term "cloven fruit." ;-)
I made this joke once at an event but it wasn't taken too kindly by the person
concerned. :-(
Of course, I was making a double pun, in that I was speculating whether the
person in question would be a cloven fruit if he were cut in half... }:->
This person is not terribly likeable at times. Sigh.
Moral: have a care, lest your puns go awry! I liked the pun, though, Corun.
:-)
>In service,
>Corun (I'm straight, but not narrow)
Hmmm...I'm narrow, but not straight (metaphorically speaking).
>===========================================================================
> Corun MacAnndra | Yes, we have no bananas.
> Dark Horde by birth | No bananas in Scranton, P A
> Moritu by choice | H. Chapin
Egad - once a Kate or a Long Shot, one is marked for life!
David the Fretful (Who is no longer a Kate or a Long Shot. Honest.)
David Matthew Deane
>I think the most hilarious cloven object I've seen was a cloven codpiece.
>A close second was a `cloven lemming' made from marzipan.
Heh. That reminds me that the armed forces of the College of St. Katherine
(U.C. Berkeley) were once known as "The Lemming Hordes of St. Katherine" -
consisting as they did at that time of 1.) a heavy fighter to do the fighting;
2.) a light fighter to shoot arrows and suchlike; and 3.) a herald to issue
challenges to the Known World. Those were the days.
Two 12th nights ago one of the Kates made a...uh...an anatomically correct
cloven object out of some kind of dough. Say no more, say no more, nudge nudge,
wink wink. This is the kind of silliness which should not go on among the
general populace, though, as some people find the whole cloven object game
rather uncomfortable - I know I did at first - and we shouldn't do things to
annoy or upset others (he says, trying to suppress grin) :-)
>
>===== Jeff Lee / jl...@smylex.uucp / jlee%smyle...@tscs.tscs.com =====
>===== SCA: Lord Godfrey de Shipbrook / Wyvernwood, Trimaris =====
>===== Per pale azure and argent, a clarion counterchanged or and gules =====
>
> I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
I worry about things a lot, then I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Wilson Heydt
David the Fretful (David Matthew Deane (de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu)) writes:
>In article <525-JN...@smylex.UUCP>, Jeff Lee <jl...@smylex.UUCP> writes:
>>I think the most hilarious cloven object I've seen was a cloven codpiece.
>>A close second was a `cloven lemming' made from marzipan.
>
>Heh. That reminds me that the armed forces of the College of St. Katherine
>(U.C. Berkeley) were once known as "The Lemming Hordes of St. Katherine" -
>consisting as they did at that time of 1.) a heavy fighter to do the fighting;
>2.) a light fighter to shoot arrows and suchlike; and 3.) a herald to issue
>challenges to the Known World. Those were the days.
If I'm not mistaken, the heavy was Duke Frederick of Holland--making
that no mean force...
Corun MacAnndra
[comments about my cloven fruit pun deleted]
>Moral: have a care, lest your puns go awry! I liked the pun, though, Corun.
Thanks. Yes, that's why I added that bit in parentheses after my name, so
no one would be offended (of course anything is possible). I have a few
friends in Blue Feather, so I'm sure if any of them read here they'd appreciate
the joke. I'm also in favour of the Equal Rights Ammendment, realizing that
it's not just for women.
In service,
Corun
--
David Matthew Deane
(Wilson Heydt) writes:
>>Heh. That reminds me that the armed forces of the College of St. Katherine
>>(U.C. Berkeley) were once known as "The Lemming Hordes of St. Katherine" -
>>consisting as they did at that time of 1.) a heavy fighter to do the fighting;
>>2.) a light fighter to shoot arrows and suchlike; and 3.) a herald to issue
>>challenges to the Known World. Those were the days.
>
>If I'm not mistaken, the heavy was Duke Frederick of Holland--making
>that no mean force...
Well, no, I believe "the Lemming Hordes of St. Katherine" joke goes back to when
Wiglaf (or maybe it was Ed Oakenhead...er...Oakenheart) was the only Kate in
armor (this being long before Wiglaf was knighted). I don't think Fleague was
counted (yes, I know, he was "counted" before he was "duked" - you can't outpun
me, by thunder! I'll pun-ish you before you think of doing it yourself!).
Anyway, I don't think he was considered as part of the force - whether he was
Kates Warlord at the time or not. This would be when I was out of school (UC
Berkeley) for a couple of years, and when Wiglaf, Werrin (sp?), Stacey,
Anne, Ed, and Mike Donnelley were budding Kates: anywhere from 5-8 years
ago, long before the current crop of degenera...um...interesting Kates, who now
seem to have split up into disparate factions, in time honored fashion. In any
case, it is always nice to have Duke Frederick on one's side, though at the
Pitchfork War (Kates vs. Teufelberg) three years ago (!) we were so outnumbered
it didn't matter that we had Fleague on our side (Anne had to steal the bloody
Teufelberg banner, and me a Kate/Teufelberg dual loyalist and all!). Are "no
shit there I was" stories allowed on the Rialto (don't remember anything in the
FAQ)? Sorry to waste bandwidth with reminiscences. What brought this up anyway?
Cloves? Hmmm.
David the Fretful
Wilson Heydt
>I don't think Fleague was
>counted (yes, I know, he was "counted" before he was "duked" - you can't outpun
>me, by thunder! I'll pun-ish you before you think of doing it yourself!).
:-)
Get the to an Ordinary and look up my badge. (For that
matter--"Flieg" is short for "Der Fliegende Hollander".)
>Are "no
>shit there I was" stories allowed on the Rialto (don't remember anything in the
>FAQ)?
Last I checked, they were okay.
Pavao Aaron
>
[some stuff deleted]
>Thanks. Yes, that's why I added that bit in parentheses after my name, so
>no one would be offended (of course anything is possible). I have a few
>
[some more stuff deleted]
>In service,
>Corun
>--
>===========================================================================
> Corun MacAnndra | Yes, we have no bananas.
> Dark Horde by birth | No bananas in Scranton, P A
> Moritu by choice | H. Chapin
It occurs to me that people very seldom (if ever) intend to offend when
making such jokes/puns/other_funnies. Bearing this in mind, it should be easy
for "people who get offended at somebody's _joke_" to just shrug it off. I
don't know where the idea that someone could offend someone else started, but
it seems to me that the person that makes one offended it the offended person
herself or himself. I'm sure if anyone _intends_ to offend, they'd be a hell
of a lot more direct about it. It isn't necessary, courtious, or chivalrous to
be petty, offender or offendee. I usually just assume that people will not be
petty.
Yours in Service to Crown and Dream,
-> Chandler
SCA: Chandler Greyfeathre
MKA: Aaron Pavao
NET: pa...@cae.wisc.edu
"A penny saved is a penny."
p.s. Feel free to send flames to the address given above, if you feel the
need to flame me.
David Matthew Deane
>In article <1993Apr6.0...@news.cs.brandeis.edu> de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes:
>>I don't think Fleague was
>>counted (yes, I know, he was "counted" before he was "duked" - you can't outpun
>>me, by thunder! I'll pun-ish you before you think of doing it yourself!).
>
>:-)
>
>Get the to an Ordinary and look up my badge. (For that
>matter--"Flieg" is short for "Der Fliegende Hollander".)
This is not the same badge as your House Ravnsgarde badge, is it? The one with
the raven rising from the flames? But then, consider my device, which is one
big pun. :-)
Reminds me of the device that a Kate (who shall remain nameless) saw at
Estrella several years ago. It had a monkey, wearing a dress, jumping or
danceing or something over a cogwheel. The pun being, "throwing a monkey wench
into the machinery"! Yuck yuck. Then there was the armorer whose device
consisted of a frog and an anvil - because you need ribbets to make armor!
:-)
I forgot about the spelling of Flieg - being a nickname, it is seldom written
down where people can read it. I didn't have a German dictionary handy anyway.
All I could remember was that it rhymed with league, as in "I'm in league with
Flieg" (and a darn good idea that would be, too). The "Der Fliegende Hollander"
story comes from when Flieg was on crutches once, yes? Does this have anything
to do with Flieg's "leg 'em and leave 'em" policy during resurrection battles?
David the Fretful
Sable fretty argent, on a base indented or, a fret couped sable.
============================================================================
Therion
>Egad - once a Kate or a Long Shot, one is marked for life!
>
>David the Fretful (Who is no longer a Kate or a Long Shot. Honest.)
Yeah, but are you a turtle?
Therion
P.S. I used to think that I never got cloven fruits because I was too
intimidating ... then I figured out that I never got cloven fruits because
my lady was too intimidating ..... :)
Corun MacAnndra
>
>Yeah, but are you a turtle?
You bet your sweet ass. ;-)
I couldn't pass this one up. I wonder if the old Turtle Club is still afloat?
In service,
Corun
--
Wilson Heydt
>In article <1993Apr6.1...@pbhya.PacBell.COM>, whh...@pbhya.PacBell.COM
>(Wilson Heydt) writes:
>>In article <1993Apr6.0...@news.cs.brandeis.edu> de...@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes:
>>>I don't think Fleague was
>>>counted (yes, I know, he was "counted" before he was "duked" - you can't outpun
>>>me, by thunder! I'll pun-ish you before you think of doing it yourself!).
>>
>>:-)
>>
>>Get the to an Ordinary and look up my badge. (For that
>>matter--"Flieg" is short for "Der Fliegende Hollander".)
>
>This is not the same badge as your House Ravnsgarde badge, is it? The one with
>the raven rising from the flames? But then, consider my device, which is one
>big pun. :-)
No, it's not the Ravnsgaard badge--it's my personal one. It's the
Roman numerals M X-bar.
>I forgot about the spelling of Flieg - being a nickname, it is seldom written
>down where people can read it. I didn't have a German dictionary handy anyway.
>All I could remember was that it rhymed with league, as in "I'm in league with
>Flieg" (and a darn good idea that would be, too). The "Der Fliegende Hollander"
>story comes from when Flieg was on crutches once, yes? Does this have anything
>to do with Flieg's "leg 'em and leave 'em" policy during resurrection battles?
(I trust Flieg will forgive me for telling bits of *his* story, and
possibly blowing various details...)
It has to do with a motorcycle accident in which he went flying....
David Matthew Deane
No, I am not a turtle. Had I stayed in the West Kingdom longer, though,
I would have been in serious danger of becoming a tyrannosaur.
David the Fretful
Timothy A McDaniel
(Pavao Aaron) writes:
> It occurs to me that people very seldom (if ever) intend to
>offend when making such jokes/puns/other_funnies.
"You know what 'gay' means?" Assuredly, "jokes" like this are often
told to offend -- I've heard them. Even when not, they carry offensive
implications.
>I'm sure if anyone _intends_ to offend, they'd be a hell of a lot more
>direct about it.
God keep you from irony! Or from an Irish bard armed with a satire.
"When the poor hath cried, Caesar hath wept. Did this in Caesar seem
ambitious? ... But Brutus says he was ambitious. And Brutus is an
honorable man." NOT!
> It isn't necessary, courtious, or chivalrous to be petty, offender or
> offendee.
*This* I agree with wholeheartedly. No offense may have been meant, and
a quiet question as to whether it was meant can often clear up an
unfortunate remark. Anyway, a chilling stare and brief silence can
speak volumes.
--
Daniel of Lincoln, Barony of the Steppes, Ansteorra
(Tim McDaniel, Convex Computer Corporation)
Internet: mcda...@convex.com, mcda...@cyberspace.org, mcda...@adi.com
MICHAEL ALEXANDER MCKAY
>I think the most hilarious cloven object I've seen was a cloven codpiece.
>A close second was a `cloven lemming' made from marzipan.
Attempt was made to pass around the cloven minstrel (cloves and serenades -
and a deterrant from hoarding - all in one package), but unfortunately it
didn't catch on. Maybe it will be successful elsewhere....
- Michel du Flambard
Eric A Hope
> Attempt was made to pass around the cloven minstrel (cloves and
> serenades - and a deterrant from hoarding - all in one package), but
> unfortunately it didn't catch on. Maybe it will be successful
> elsewhere....
>
> - Michel du Flambard
Now there's a clove object idea I like!! I'll have to suggest this on...
(being a music person...;-))
Edric, Shire of Rivenwood Towers Eric Hope
Crown Principality of the Northshield GA College
Middle Kingdom St Peter, MN
Henry Troup
Henry Troup - H.T...@BNR.CA (Canada) - BNR owns but does not share my opinions
"Never" is usually about six months. -- Charlie Gibbs