FILK: How You Play The Rules
Steve Brinich
Words: Steve Brinich, copyright 2002
Music: Cat Faber, "How It Is Applied"
It's a ghastly killer dungeon, and our hopes are not too high
Survive, escape, do damage.... oh, yeah, right -- we're gonna die!
But when we voiced the doubts we had, he said, "Just use these tools:
It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules"
We crept into the treasure room and faced an undead horde
He snatched up all our looting sacks, invoking them as a ward
With greed as his religious faith, he turned away the ghouls
It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules
We crawled on through the dungeon, facing monsters, traps, and locks
He found a loophole for each one, as crafty as a fox
In hours we stripped the corridors of magic, gold, and jewels
It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules
The GM tried to catch him -- couldn't even slow him down
He knew the standard rules, and how to turn them upside-down
So keep this principle in mind in dungeon-crawling duels:
It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules
--
Steve Brinich <sbri...@bigfoot.com> If the government wants us
http://www.bigfoot.com/~sbrinich to respect the law
41BFB2CAA6083A641079871798366DC7 it should set a better example
Contata Three: http://www.rishathra.com/contata
Joel Polowin
>
> HOW YOU PLAY THE RULES
> We crept into the treasure room and faced an undead horde
> He snatched up all our looting sacks, invoking them as a ward
> With greed as his religious faith, he turned away the ghouls
> It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules
Well, that's certainly *my* shtick. I think my favourite example
was when my rather low-level magic user character wiped out an entire
squad of giants by flying over them with a mouse and then polymorphing
it into a whale. The DM had had *plans* for those giants. He looked
at me. Then he looked at the sheaf of notes in his hand. Then he
looked at me again. And he came to the realization that this was
a typical case of Polowin gaming, and he wasn't gonna use the 47
eight-by-ten colour glossy etc., and tore up the notes and tossed
them over his shoulder and found something else for us to do for
the rest of the afternoon.
Not that I really want to drag this into a discussion of our
best-loved RPG happenings. But I liked the song. :-)
--
Joel Polowin jpolow...@sympatico.ca but delete "XYZZy" from address
"Pencils, pens, and implements of depiction..."
http://www3.sympatico.ca/jpolowin/filkstuf/translat.htm
Joe Ellis
jpolow...@sympaticoXYZZy.ca wrote:
>Steve Brinich wrote:
>>
>> HOW YOU PLAY THE RULES
>> [...]
>> We crept into the treasure room and faced an undead horde
>> He snatched up all our looting sacks, invoking them as a ward
>> With greed as his religious faith, he turned away the ghouls
>> It isn't how you play the game; it's how you play the rules
>
>Well, that's certainly *my* shtick. I think my favourite example
>was when my rather low-level magic user character wiped out an entire
>squad of giants by flying over them with a mouse and then polymorphing
>it into a whale. The DM had had *plans* for those giants. He looked
>at me. Then he looked at the sheaf of notes in his hand. Then he
>looked at me again. And he came to the realization that this was
>a typical case of Polowin gaming, and he wasn't gonna use the 47
>eight-by-ten colour glossy etc., and tore up the notes and tossed
>them over his shoulder and found something else for us to do for
>the rest of the afternoon.
>
>Not that I really want to drag this into a discussion of our
>best-loved RPG happenings. But I liked the song. :-)
>
Heh heh heh... you wouldn't have gotten away with that in one of _my_ games.
You see, you would have found yourself caught un an updraft as a 2 oz
whale (lighter than air) swept upward past you... then exploded like an
overfilled balloon... raining down blubber over all as the polymorph spell
took full effect and amplified the creatures mass to match its volume.
ObFilk "any one of the songs about the State of Oregon's propensity for
blowing up dead cetaceans..."
--
Joe Ellis € CEO Bethlehem-Ares Railroad
___a________n_mmm___mmm_mmm_mmm___mmm_mmm_mmm___mmm_n______
___|8 8B| ___ /::::: / /::::X/ /:::::/ /:::::/||
||__BARR| | | /::::::/ /:::::X /:::::/ /:::::/ ||
----------------------------------------------------------------
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~~~~~~~~~~~~ Serving America's Heartland Since 1822 ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dan Goodman
23050222...@user-37kat2b.dialup.mindspring.com:
> ObFilk "any one of the songs about the State of Oregon's propensity for
> blowing up dead cetaceans..."
I still think they should have put up signs warning that ingestion of whale
meat was likely to cause hallucinations....
Harold Groot
>jpolow...@sympaticoXYZZy.ca wrote:
>>Well, that's certainly *my* shtick. I think my favourite example
>>was when my rather low-level magic user character wiped out an entire
>>squad of giants by flying over them with a mouse and then polymorphing
On Thu, 23 May 2002 22:32:14 -0400, fil...@mindspring.com (Joe Ellis)
wrote:
>Heh heh heh... you wouldn't have gotten away with that in one of _my_ games.
>You see, you would have found yourself caught un an updraft as a 2 oz
>whale (lighter than air) swept upward past you... then exploded like an
>overfilled balloon... raining down blubber over all as the polymorph spell
>took full effect and amplified the creatures mass to match its volume.
While it can seem to be just an amusing "can-you-top-this" anecdote,
there really does need to be a general understanding between the
players and the DM as to whether the written rules should be expected
to always apply, and if not - the type of situation where they might
not. Because otherwise you can wind up with some very unhappy
players. If someone has worked very hard to find SOMETHING effective
(when the DM expected there would be nothing) and you as DM run things
as you describe above - you are PENALIZING GOOD PLAY. You had better
be damn sure that it is worth it. I find it generally far better to
let something like that work (=if the rule books say it should=), but
then have word of this application spread - and have someone else use
it on the party later on.
In the current case there is no need. The mouse is almost certain to
fail to survive the polymorph (system shock roll based on CON, and a
mouse has a low CON). Once a polymorphed creature dies it reverts to
its original form. Net result - a dead mouse falls on some Giants,
the DM didn't crock the rules, neither DM nor player should be too
upset. And hey, there might be a 5% chance that it would work. But
even if you didn't realize that the rules really DON'T let this be an
effective weapon, it's far simpler to add a Giant Shaman with a Dispel
Magic spell. "Oh, he was trying to cancel the Fly spell on the mage
and just happened to bollix the Polymorph at the same time." The
players don't know he's a late addition and all the game rules have
been honored. Again, the players shouldn't be upset. Breaking the
rules to nullify inventive play is really hurtful to the inventive
player and should really be a last resort.
bi...@bsutton.com
:>HOW YOU PLAY THE RULES
For the KODT fen, this could be known as "Brian's Song" ...
Bill
--
Bill Sutton | Posting by and for myself alone
GAFilk 2003 | "'Tis said the newsgroup is a fine and private place
Jan 10-12 2003 | But none, I think, do there embrace..."
http://www.gafilk.org |
Joe Kesselman (yclept Keshlam)
> Heh heh heh... you wouldn't have gotten away with that in one of _my_ games.
ObFolk: _Railroad_Bill_.
--
Joe Kesselman, http://www.lovesong.com/people/keshlam/
{} ASCII Ribbon Campaign
/\ Stop HTML mail!
Steve Brinich
> For the KODT fen, this could be known as "Brian's Song" ...
Indeed -- I had it about half-finished when I went to visit friends for
the weekend, and brought along some of my KoDT collection for inspiration.
I was definitely thinking of poor B.A. when I wrote the line "The GM tried
to catch him -- couldn't even slow him down".
Rafe Culpin
fil...@mindspring.com (Joe Ellis) wrote:
> Heh heh heh... you wouldn't have gotten away with that in one of _my_
> games.
>
> You see, you would have found yourself caught un an updraft as a 2 oz
> whale (lighter than air) swept upward past you... then exploded like an
> overfilled balloon... raining down blubber over all as the polymorph
> spell
> took full effect and amplified the creatures mass to match its volume.
But then the bowl of petunias would have got them instead.
--
To reply email rafe, at the address filk co uk
Information on filk in the UK: http://www.filk.co.uk/
Michael Liebmann
"Joel Polowin" <jpolow...@sympaticoXYZZy.ca> wrote in message
news:3CEDA065...@sympaticoXYZZy.ca...
>
> Well, that's certainly *my* shtick. I think my favourite example
> was when my rather low-level magic user character wiped out an entire
> squad of giants by flying over them with a mouse and then polymorphing
> it into a whale. The DM had had *plans* for those giants. He looked
> at me. Then he looked at the sheaf of notes in his hand. Then he
> looked at me again. And he came to the realization that this was
> a typical case of Polowin gaming, and he wasn't gonna use the 47
> eight-by-ten colour glossy etc., and tore up the notes and tossed
> them over his shoulder and found something else for us to do for
> the rest of the afternoon.
>
> Not that I really want to drag this into a discussion of our
> best-loved RPG happenings. But I liked the song. :-)
>
it!
Joel Polowin
> In the current case there is no need. The mouse is almost certain to
> fail to survive the polymorph (system shock roll based on CON, and a
> mouse has a low CON). Once a polymorphed creature dies it reverts to
> its original form.
This has zoomed off-topic... so I'll just mention quickly that that
reversion isn't mentioned in the spell description nor in the "more
detailed notes for the DM" in the DM's guide, nor elsewhere that I can
see in the rules that we were using (AD&D, no bloody "2nd", "3rd"
or "4th"). And I *think* I had precedent on my side in terms of
previous encounters with polymorphed critters with that gaming group.
Kay Shapero
nos...@see.sig.to.reply says...
> In article <filker-2305...@user-37kat2b.dialup.mindspring.com>,
> fil...@mindspring.com (Joe Ellis) wrote:
>
>
> > Heh heh heh... you wouldn't have gotten away with that in one of _my_
> > games.
> >
> > You see, you would have found yourself caught un an updraft as a 2 oz
> > whale (lighter than air) swept upward past you... then exploded like an
> > overfilled balloon... raining down blubber over all as the polymorph
> > spell
> > took full effect and amplified the creatures mass to match its volume.
>
> But then the bowl of petunias would have got them instead.
>
>
the very dead bodies of some unfortunate orcs which had been hithertoo
completely isolated from the dungeon's air system and the Entire Cleanup
Crew came to the party... :->
Dead whale in the dungeon
Big mess on the floor
Ten carrion crawlers
Swarm in through the door
Don't step in black pudding
ochre jellies can hurt
Get out of the dungeon
Or you'll be desert...
"Red Sails in the Sunset" more or less...
--
Kay Shapero
kaysh...@nospamearthlink.net
Remove the obvious spamblock to reply
filk FAQ http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/filkfaq.htm
http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/index.htm
Steve Brinich
> Please, tell us more. This is the stuff filksongs are made of.....I love
> it!
Crossing the intellectual beams seems to be the key in my case (the
initial idea for this one happened while listening to _A Dancing World_
while reading _Knights of the Dinner Table_, though it took a while before I
got any lines beyond the obvious one).
Harold Feld
> Steve Brinich <sbri...@speakeasy.net> wrote:
> :>HOW YOU PLAY THE RULES
>
> For the KODT fen, this could be known as "Brian's Song" ...
>
> Bill
When Steve sang this at Balticon (which had an appallingly low number
of filkers and, sadly, no one from Contata to take my money), my first
reaction was "KotDT filk! Cool!"
Harold
Karen Rodgers
wrote:
>
>When Steve sang this at Balticon (which had an appallingly low number
>of filkers and, sadly, no one from Contata to take my money), my first
>reaction was "KotDT filk! Cool!"
Okay, I'm usually pretty good at pulling out the title from
abbrevations, but this one is baffling me and flat out refuses to
descipher. "KotDT?"
Karen Rodgers
**********
Windbourne, folk singers of the future
http://www.windbourne.com/
remove "_rice_" from my email address
**********
Harold Groot
(Karen Rodgers) wrote:
>On 28 May 2002 18:14:15 -0700, hf...@mediaaccess.org (Harold Feld)
>wrote:
>>When Steve sang this at Balticon (which had an appallingly low number
>>of filkers and, sadly, no one from Contata to take my money), my first
>>reaction was "KotDT filk! Cool!"
>Okay, I'm usually pretty good at pulling out the title from
>abbrevations, but this one is baffling me and flat out refuses to
>descipher. "KotDT?"
>Karen Rodgers
Knights of the Dinner Table, a quite amusing comic strip in Dragon
Magazine about people who play AD&D.
Harold Feld
Its in a bunch of places and they publish independently. You can get
lots of collections and stuff beyond what's in Dragon. Very funny if
you've ever gamed.
Harold