Fly if you dare !!!
B|rge Haga
I've seen the recent articles on restaurant names, so I thought I should
post a list that I have been working on that jokes about airlines. The
list is mostly made up of contributions from people on the net, and I'm
continously updating this list. So if you have any suggestions to add to
me list, PLEASE LET ME KNOW !!!!
A I R L I N E J O K E S
===============================================================================
AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful
AI (Air India) - Allah Informed
ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival
- Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corporation) - Better On A Camel
- Bloody Old and Careless
CA (China Airlines) - Choose Another
CAAC (Chinese Avation Airline Company) - Chinese Airline Always Canceled
(Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) - China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
CPA (Canadian Airlines International) - Can't Promise Anything
(New code CAI) - Crash And Ignite
- Call Ambulance Immediately
- Circle Airport Indefinitely
- Cruise Above Iceland
- Cancel Alaskan Itinerary
- Call Attendants "Idiots"
- Check All Items
- Copilots Are Imbeciles
- Casual Atmosphere Inside
DELTA - Don't Even Leave The Airport
- Don't Ever Leave The Airport
- Don't Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs ?)
EAL (Eastern) - Eastern's Always Late
ELAL - Every Landing Always Late
JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
LOT (Polish Airlines) - Last One There
- Luggage On Tarmack (wave 'bye!)
LUFTHANSA - Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
PAL (Phil. Airlines) - Philippines Always Late
PAN AM - Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
PIA (Pakistan International Airlines) - Please Inform Allah
- Panic In Air
- Perhaps I Arrive
SABENA (Belgium) - Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again
SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) - Stay At Home, Stay Alive
SAS (Scandinavian Airlines System) - Sweet And Sexy
- Sex And Service
SIA (Singapore International Airlines) - So Incredible, Aah
TACA - Take A Chance Airline
TAP (Portuguese Airlines) - Take Another Plane
TWA (Transworld Airlines) - Travel Without Arrival
- Try Walking, Asshole
- Try Walking Again
- The Worst Airline
- Took Wrong Airline
- Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective)
- Travel With Arabs
- Terrorist Welcome Aboard
- Teenie Weenie Airlines
USAir - Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality
SOUNDALIKES:
============
Aer Lingus Aer Fungus,
AEROPERU Aeroperhaps
Air Afrique Air Freak(out)
Air Canada Err Canada (as in "To err is human...")
AF AIR FRANCE Air Chance
AW Air Wisconsin Scare Wisconsin
Alleghany Air Agony Air (became USAir 10? years ago)
BA British Airways Brutish Airways
Brutish Scareways,
CA Cascade Airways Crashcade Scareways
Continental Contemptible
Lufthansa Lusthansa
MIDWEST EXPRESS Midwest Excess (True, but worth it)
MOHAWK Slowhawk
NORTHWEST Northworst
Northwaste
People Express CattleCar Express
People Distress
People Compress
Piedmont Piedmonster (merged with USAir)
QuebecAir Quick Air
TWA TightWad Airlines
UNITED UNTIED
US AIR USELESS AIR
US Scare
OTHERS:
=======
Delta "We love to fly and it's close"
"We love to show our flies"
Mexicana Where being Late is Fashionable
THANKS TO:
==========
Tom Davis t...@austin.lockheed.com
Merrick Burkhardt
sk...@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Steven K Smith)
n...@scifi.uucp (Nicholas J. Simicich)
Noah Cole cnc...@u2.dartmouth.edu
Israel Nelken <isr...@cs.toronto.edu>
fsb...@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Ambady Suresh (Sverdrup))
Ajay...@cs.cmu.edu
er...@advansoft.COM (Eric Rindner)
FSB...@VENUS.LERC.NASA.GOV
wo...@udcf.glasgow.ac.uk (Ian Woodrow)
tro...@yosemite.Eng.Sun.COM (Tom Rogers - Database Engineering)
pi...@ISI.EDU (Ping Luo)
Frank C. Paterra <pat...@xanth.cs.odu.edu>
ss...@qsun.att.com (Sameer Siddiqui)
Ian <ch...@hawk.cs.ukans.edu>
dxp%hec...@bellcore.bellcore.com
Howard Lem <how...@utcs.utoronto.ca>
861...@ul.ie (Desmond P. O'Donoghue)
c...@rruxu.UUCP (Catherine J Curtis)
lau...@pluto.med.utah.edu (Launce Gouw)
l...@indetech.com (Lynn Z. Schneider x2077)
jor...@tcs.com (Jordan Hayes)
ethan miller--cs grad student e...@cs.berkeley.edu
owen blevins <blev...@copper.ucs.indiana.edu>
Adrian W. Martin <mar...@tasman.cc.utas.edu.au>
Derek Elsworth 863-1643 <F...@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
Mike Godfrey mi...@csri.toronto.edu
David Brooks dbr...@osf.org
microsoft!es...@uunet.uu.net
ms...@prism.gatech.edu (Martha Ann Stegar)
gford%nunki....@usc.edu (Gregory Ford)
geo...@Seri.GOV (George Scott)
djs...@zeus.tamu.edu (Dave)
Lisa Wolfisch <ling...@wam.umd.edu>
mccu...@cs.sandia.gov (Kevin S. McCurley)
Andrew Philpot <phi...@kepler.arc.nasa.gov>
ktibv!r...@nluug.nl (Rob den Braasem)
CC70@SDSUMUS (Denise Bauer)
UMAXWE@UNC (June Maxwell)
Annemarie Kreyenberg <an...@madeira.stanford.edu>
SRDJAN%CATHY@YUBGEF51 (Srdjan Cvjetovic)
J...@psuvm.psu.edu (Joyce Neu)
(and all others that I have forgot, please inform me)
Kind regards !
Boerge Haga
Department of Informatics
University of Oslo
Kjeller , Norway
e-mail: boe...@tellus.unik.no
IP-address: 128.39.10.5