Fourth of July
DMP
Well, here in the good-ole USA we just celebrated our most viciously
patriotic holiday, the Fourth of July. When something important happened
sometime ago that we now celebrate by getting drunk, driving fast and
shooting dangerous gas driven missiles out our car windows.
I on the other hand decided to celebrate differently this year. I, and my
beloved spouse, traveled to our local nude beach to get drunk, drive fast
and shoot bottle rockets out of our car.
First off, if you've never been to a nude beach (and I hadn't before this
weekend), it's actually pretty cool. Not because there are lots of
attractive people to look at, there aren't, but because its good for the ego
to realize that no matter how unattractive you think you are there is at
least a few people who should feel more unattractive, cause they are. (Not
having any formal training in nude beach etiquette, I kept laughing
hysterically and suggesting we call the stranded sea mammal rescue team.)
Anyway, I want to clear up a few things, the most common question when
people see someone with a body piercing, and particularly one through the
genitals, is "that must of hurt!?"
Can't these people come up with a more unique question, I mean I must have
been asked that 500 times on Saturday. The answer by the way is no, it
didn't
Secondly, sand and salt does not get into the piercing and form a pearl,
contrary to what I've been told here. I tried for several hours, but came
home pearless.
Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you, get
drunk, shoot bottle-rockets out of your car, but you CANNOT defecate in
someone else's cooler. That appears to breach the line of proper behavior,
or at least that is what I think the people were screaming at me about.
Anyway, I love to get nude in the morning, it smells like....victory...
Jeffrey Kaplan
DMP:
; Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you, get
Wrong-o! A real nude beach is just like a clothed one, without the
clothes. Nothing more, nothing less. Read rec.nude for a while.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
jkap...@world.std.com <*> There's only one "l" in my name.
There is no need to copy to me via email a newsgroup follow-up.
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"Station One, commence Level 6 maintenance check on all off-station
communications channels." "Lieutenant Commander, that will tie up
communications for hours." "Yes, I believe it will." (Lt. Cmdr.
Ivonova and Tech #1, B5 "Survivors")
G De Lacey
Snip--very funny bits
>
> Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
> beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you, get
> drunk, shoot bottle-rockets out of your car, but you CANNOT defecate in
> someone else's cooler. That appears to breach the line of proper behavior,
> or at least that is what I think the people were screaming at me about.
And here I was complaining about Merkins-in-Aus being rude and rowdy on
4-Jul. I didn't realise they actually paid so much attention to dignity.
>
> Anyway, I love to get nude in the morning, it smells like....victory...
GW De Lacey.
DMP
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote in message <35aae18a...@news-f.std.com>...
>Drifting in hyperspace, I had plenty of time to read this memoir from
>DMP:
>
>; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you,
get
>
>clothes. Nothing more, nothing less. Read rec.nude for a while.
That is probably true for most. But not for all. I promise there was
plenty of open sex, plenty of urinating, plenty of just plain wild shit.
In fact we discussed it with several of the people there (it was easy to
spot the 'regulars' they had the very dark tan all over) they told us that
they weren't nudists because nudists were a bunch of uptight tree-huggers.
That's why they went to that particular beach (whose name is "Nude Beach" no
shit!)
Anyway, I guess that's why it was fun, it was very openly perverse. And I
got to wear my perversity on my sleeve, so to speak...
Bob-!
> That is probably true for most. But not for all. I promise there was
> plenty of open sex, plenty of urinating, plenty of just plain wild shit.
>
So, did you try to explain that the (previously mentioned)
defecating was, in fact, free-ranging wild shit?
Bob-?~
...who believes evacuated feces belongs in its natural habitat...
Ami
> Anyway, I guess that's why it was fun, it was very openly perverse. And I
> got to wear my perversity on my sleeve, so to speak...
You probably should have worn a sleeve on your
perversity, so to speak, then you wouldn't have had all those
"that musta hurt!" comments.
DMP
Bob-! wrote in message ...
>On Tue, 7 Jul 1998, DMP wrote:
>
>> That is probably true for most. But not for all. I promise there was
>> plenty of open sex, plenty of urinating, plenty of just plain wild shit.
>>
> So, did you try to explain that the (previously mentioned)
>defecating was, in fact, free-ranging wild shit?
Yeah, but they didn't believe me. They said it looked like domestic shit
and that wasn't allowed.
Ami
>
> Well, here in the good-ole USA we just celebrated our most viciously
> patriotic holiday, the Fourth of July. When something important happened
> sometime ago that we now celebrate by getting drunk, driving fast and
> shooting dangerous gas driven missiles out our car windows.
Yeah? You got a problem with that?
>
> I on the other hand decided to celebrate differently this year. I, and my
> beloved spouse, traveled to our local nude beach to get drunk, drive fast
> and shoot bottle rockets out of our car.
Glad you decided to get with the program.
>
> First off, if you've never been to a nude beach (and I hadn't before this
> weekend)
since I'd never actually taken all my clothes off at once, cause
where I live
>it's actually pretty cool. Not because there are lots of
> attractive people to look at, there aren't, but because its good for the ego
> to realize
that more monkeys can swing off your weenie than anyone else's.
>no matter how unattractive you think you are
you can never fully appreciate it because the mind
just can't grasp the hugeness and entirety of some
concepts, like 'infinity' and 'butt-ugly'
> there is at least a few people who should feel more unattractive, cause they are. (Not
> having any formal training in nude beach etiquette, I kept laughing
> hysterically and suggesting we call the stranded sea mammal rescue team.)
>
Everyone else, on the other hand, was screaming hysterically
and suggesting we call Mulder and Scully.
> Anyway, I want to clear up a few things, the most common question when
> people see someone with a body piercing, and particularly one through the
> genitals, is
"Does everyone from your planet look like you?"
> Can't these people come up with a more unique question, I mean I must have
> been asked that 500 times on Saturday. The answer by the way is no,
they don't, they just all wish they did, hah hah (rim shot)
> Secondly, sand and salt does not get into the piercing and form a pearl,
> contrary to what I've been told here. I tried for several hours, but came
> home pearless.
>
> Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
> beach, you can have sex
with yourself
>in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you, get
> drunk, shoot bottle-rockets out of your
ass
> but you CANNOT defecate in
> someone else's cooler. That appears to breach the line of proper behavior,
> or at least that is what I think the people were screaming at me about.
Wrong. They saw all the metal hanging from your nether regions and
thought you were giving birth to another alien.
> Anyway, I love to get nude in the morning, it smells like
a cage full of sick hamsters.
========
knock off all that evil to reply
Daniel E. Macks
:
: Jeffrey Kaplan wrote in message <35aae18a...@news-f.std.com>...
: >Drifting in hyperspace, I had plenty of time to read this memoir from
: >DMP:
: >; Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
: >; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you,
: get
: >
: >Wrong-o! A real nude beach is just like a clothed one, without the
: >clothes. Nothing more, nothing less. Read rec.nude for a while.
I was at a naked party (hi Watermyn!) in college, which we routinely
described as "just like any other house party, except everyone is
naked."I don't think I would swear to the veracity of that statement
though:)
: That's why they went to that particular beach (whose name is "Nude Beach" no
: shit!)
A moment ago you said you could crap wherever you wanted.
: Anyway, I guess that's why it was fun, it was very openly perverse. And I
: got to wear my perversity on my sleeve, so to speak...
Do you have to remove your jewelry? And what about strap-ons?
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are always nude
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
Jeffrey Kaplan
DMP:
; >; Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
; >; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you,
; >
; >Wrong-o! A real nude beach is just like a clothed one, without the
; That's why they went to that particular beach (whose name is "Nude Beach" no
; shit!)
Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
jkap...@world.std.com <*> There's only one "l" in my name.
There is no need to copy to me via email a newsgroup follow-up.
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"You're not making sense." "I imagine I'm not, but that's the kind of
day I'm having." (Cmdr. Ivonova and Vir Coto, B5 "Sic Transit Vir")
DMP
Daniel E. Macks wrote in message <6nu4np$pi6$2...@netnews.upenn.edu>...>: >Drifting in hyperspace, I had plenty of time to read this memoir from
>: >DMP:
>: >
>: >; Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
>: >; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you,
>: >
>: >Wrong-o! A real nude beach is just like a clothed one, without the
>: >clothes. Nothing more, nothing less. Read rec.nude for a while.
>
>I was at a naked party (hi Watermyn!) in college, which we routinely
>described as "just like any other house party, except everyone is
>naked."I don't think I would swear to the veracity of that statement
>though:)
>
no
>: shit!)
>
>A moment ago you said you could crap wherever you wanted.
As long as it was wild shit. No domesticated turds of any kind.
>
>: Anyway, I guess that's why it was fun, it was very openly perverse. And
I
>: got to wear my perversity on my sleeve, so to speak...
>
>Do you have to remove your jewelry? And what about strap-ons?
No and No.
DMP
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote in message <35ae4ee9...@news-f.std.com>...
>Drifting in hyperspace, I had plenty of time to read this memoir from
>DMP:
>
>; >; Thirdly, apparently you can do pretty much whatever you want at a nude
>; >; beach, you can have sex in public, urinate wherever the mood hits you,
>; >Wrong-o! A real nude beach is just like a clothed one, without the
>; That's why they went to that particular beach (whose name is "Nude Beach"
no
>; shit!)
>
>Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
listing:
http://www.sss.org/texnude/texpublic.html
Paul L. Kelly
[]
>>Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
>
>Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
^^^^^^^
YM Penisula. HTH.
--
Paul L. Kelly, whose world famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
zymurge_ululati...@mindspring.com
Remove the bit about the yodelling allergy remedies from the
above address to e-mail me.
DMP
Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <35a389d9....@news.mindspring.com>...
>"DMP" <dmpa...@usa.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>[]
>>>Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
>>
>>Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
> ^^^^^^^
>YM Penisula. HTH.
Actually its peninsula, I mean really, if you're going to flame someone for
typo/spelling, you need to get it right. Sheez!
al sharka
Kimberly Chapman
"DMP" (dmpa...@usa.net) writes:
> Well, here in the good-ole USA we just celebrated our most viciously
> patriotic holiday, the Fourth of July. When something important happened
> sometime ago that we now celebrate by getting drunk, driving fast and
> shooting dangerous gas driven missiles out our car windows.
Please...we have heard about the piercings, spare us the details of your
patriotic flatulence out the window of your car.
Kimberly Chapman
-----------------------------------
"I look over out of the window
I see your face and I'm frightened
'Cause I live on the eighth floor
You must be really, really tall
You scare me."
The Unofficial Corky and the Juice Pigs Fan Page
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6464
Ian Davis
> Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
YM Mulva Pensula. HTH.
Ian.
Jeffrey Kaplan
DMP:
; >Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
;
; Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
; listing:
;
; http://www.sss.org/texnude/texpublic.html
Oh, Hippy Hollow. I've heard of it.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
jkap...@world.std.com <*> There's only one "l" in my name.
There is no need to copy to me via email a newsgroup follow-up.
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"You have something that does not belong to you... actually, I suspect
that you have quite a few things that do not belong to you." ("King"
Arthur, B5 "A Late Delivery From Avalon")
Jeffrey Kaplan
; "DMP" (dmpa...@usa.net) writes:
; > Well, here in the good-ole USA we just celebrated our most viciously
; > patriotic holiday, the Fourth of July. When something important happened
; > sometime ago that we now celebrate by getting drunk, driving fast and
; > shooting dangerous gas driven missiles out our car windows.
;
; Please...we have heard about the piercings, spare us the details of your
; patriotic flatulence out the window of your car.
Don't forget about the decapitations.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
jkap...@world.std.com <*> There's only one "l" in my name.
There is no need to copy to me via email a newsgroup follow-up.
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"Think hard, Delenn. This Council has never before been divided. We
may best avoid division by removing you from our company. You could
become outcast." (Grey Council #1, B5 "Babylon Squared")
William J. Evans; mail protected by spamgard{tm}
: spare us the details of your
:patriotic flatulence out the window of your car.
No, it's necessary that you learn how much more exquisitely tasteful
American culture is than Canadian.
-- Captain Nitpick Kansas is at the center of the universe.
Bill Evans/Box 4829/Irvine, California 92616/(714)551-2766 _ /| ACK!
Email-To: w...@acm.org -- PGP encrypted mail preferred. -- \`o_O' /
Finger w...@netcom.com for public key. Key #: 441AFEA5 =( )=
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DMP
Jeffrey Kaplan wrote in message <35ac5f26....@news-f.std.com>...
>Drifting in hyperspace, I had plenty of time to read this memoir from
>
>; >Then say so. (Hmm... where is this beach?)
>;
>; Its on Boliver Pensula, if you go to this URL you'll see it as the last
>; listing:
>;
>; http://www.sss.org/texnude/texpublic.html
>
>Oh, Hippy Hollow. I've heard of it.
Hippy Hollow is the first listing Boliver is the last.