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rhod -- The Wasteland

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Ben Fisher

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Oct 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/20/99
to
At least, according to the stats page.

>Usenet traffic analysis
>------ ------- --------
>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
>Server: news
>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
>
>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.
>
>Poster Analysis
>------ --------
>There are 0 posters in rec.humor.oracle.d.
>
>Number Percent Poster
>------ ------- ------
>
>
>Subject Analysis
>------- --------
>0 unique subjects:
>
>Number Percent Subject
>------ ------- -------
>
>Cross-posting: numeric analysis
>-------------------------------
>
>Max number of newsgroups/article:


Ben
where has everbody gone? cardinal fang?
--
The stars predict tomorrow you'll | I don't claim to
wake up, do a bunch of stuff and | speak for Intel.
then go back to sleep. | Yet.
- A. Yankovic |

Modify my email address to reply

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/20/99
to
In article <380E006E...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>At least, according to the stats page.
>
>>Usenet traffic analysis
>>------ ------- --------
>>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
>>Server: news
>>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
>>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
>>
>>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.

Well isn't _that_ special. I (obviously) have not looked at this page
in a while. I wonder what the ol' ISP has changed out from under me this
time. With any luck the reports will be back soon.

--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ----- t...@acm.org ----- http://rainbow.rmi.net/~tph
"Now Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got
everything he wished for." "What?" "He lived happily ever after."

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/20/99
to
In article <slrn80sd1...@shell.rmi.net>, Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote:
>In article <380E006E...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>>At least, according to the stats page.
>>
>>>Usenet traffic analysis
>>>------ ------- --------
>>>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
>>>Server: news
>>>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
>>>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
>>>
>>>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.
>
>Well isn't _that_ special. I (obviously) have not looked at this page
>in a while. I wonder what the ol' ISP has changed out from under me this
>time. With any luck the reports will be back soon.

OK, the daily traffic report is back to its usual tricks. The script
is a little more resilient in the face of rock-stupid news server tricks
now (fight stupidity with stupidity-- a little brute force was added to
show the server who's boss). A current report is available, and nightly
reports should return to normal.

Ben Fisher

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Oct 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/20/99
to
Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
>
> In article <slrn80sd1...@shell.rmi.net>, Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote:
> >In article <380E006E...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> >>At least, according to the stats page.
> >>
> >>>Usenet traffic analysis
> >>>------ ------- --------
> >>>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
> >>>Server: news
> >>>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
> >>>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
> >>>
> >>>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.
> >
> >Well isn't _that_ special. I (obviously) have not looked at this page
> >in a while. I wonder what the ol' ISP has changed out from under me this
> >time. With any luck the reports will be back soon.
>
> OK, the daily traffic report is back to its usual tricks. The script
> is a little more resilient in the face of rock-stupid news server tricks
> now (fight stupidity with stupidity-- a little brute force was added to
> show the server who's boss). A current report is available, and nightly
> reports should return to normal.
>

Thank you. I see I need to up my spodding to make it into the top 20.

Ben

Ken and Alison Adams

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Oct 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/20/99
to
Ben Fisher wrote:
>
> Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
> >
> > In article <slrn80sd1...@shell.rmi.net>, Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote:
> > >In article <380E006E...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> > >>At least, according to the stats page.
> > >>
> > >>>Usenet traffic analysis
> > >>>------ ------- --------
> > >>>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
> > >>>Server: news
> > >>>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
> > >>>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
> > >>>
> > >>>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.
> > >
> > >Well isn't _that_ special. I (obviously) have not looked at this page
> > >in a while. I wonder what the ol' ISP has changed out from under me this
> > >time. With any luck the reports will be back soon.
> >
> > OK, the daily traffic report is back to its usual tricks. The script
> > is a little more resilient in the face of rock-stupid news server tricks
> > now (fight stupidity with stupidity-- a little brute force was added to
> > show the server who's boss). A current report is available, and nightly
> > reports should return to normal.
> >
>
> Thank you. I see I need to up my spodding to make it into the top 20.
>
ME TOO!

--
Ken Adams
...evil will always win because good is dumb.

tim wren

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to

Ben Fisher wrote ...

[snippage]


> Thank you. I see I need to up my spodding to make it into the top 20.

The meaning was clear but I foolishly thought I'd look it up on the
off-chance. Nope, not there. Spodumene was though: a pyroxene
mineral consisting of lithium aluminium silicate; a source of lithium - with
its friend, hiddenite: a green transparent form of spodumene used as a
gemstone.

Tim "Its the spodumene" Wren

Tim Chew

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to
Right, sometime during the twenty four hour period of Thu, 21 Oct 1999
06:07:13 +0100, the fingers of tim wren did thusly type:

Pretty little sucker, that. I picked some up while I was in the
mountains a couple of years ago.

--

HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
Full Time Oracle Priest and Professional Giver of Bad Advice
http://twchew.home.mindspring.com
"But assassination can seldom be employed with a clear conscience. Persons
who are morally squeamish should not attempt it." - CIA

Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.

Jason Willoughby

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to
Tim Chew <twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com> wrote:
> 06:07:13 +0100, the fingers of tim wren did thusly type:

>>The meaning was clear but I foolishly thought I'd look it up on the


>>off-chance. Nope, not there. Spodumene was though: a pyroxene
>>mineral consisting of lithium aluminium silicate; a source of lithium - with
>>its friend, hiddenite: a green transparent form of spodumene used as a
>>gemstone.

> Pretty little sucker, that. I picked some up while I was in the
> mountains a couple of years ago.

I would just like to make this official:

Number 6 on the Top Ten List of Strange Things I Have Learned on rhod is
now "Transparent spodumene is a pretty little sucker".

Jason Willoughby

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to
Jason Willoughby <jwil...@gate.net> wrote:
> Number 6 on the Top Ten List of Strange Things I Have Learned on rhod is
> now "Transparent spodumene is a pretty little sucker".

Addendum: I looked up "spodumene"'s etymology, it's from the Greek,
"spodousthai" meaning "to be burnt to ashes" and "spodos" meaning
just "ashes".

I no longer believe the similarity to Kim's "to spod" is coincidental.
But unless someone has any knowledge of "spodding"'s orgins (Matt?),
that will have to stay speculative.

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to
In article <380E4C15...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
>>
>> In article <slrn80sd1...@shell.rmi.net>, Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote:
>> >In article <380E006E...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>> >>At least, according to the stats page.
>> >>
>> >>>Usenet traffic analysis
>> >>>------ ------- --------
>> >>>Newsgroup: rec.humor.oracle.d
>> >>>Server: news
>> >>>Date (local): Wed Oct 20 00:00:06 1999
>> >>>Date (GMT): Wed Oct 20 06:00:06 1999
>> >>>
>> >>>There are 0 unexpired messages in rec.humor.oracle.d.
>> >
>> >Well isn't _that_ special. I (obviously) have not looked at this page
>> >in a while. I wonder what the ol' ISP has changed out from under me this
>> >time. With any luck the reports will be back soon.
>>
>> OK, the daily traffic report is back to its usual tricks. The script
>> is a little more resilient in the face of rock-stupid news server tricks
>> now (fight stupidity with stupidity-- a little brute force was added to
>> show the server who's boss). A current report is available, and nightly
>> reports should return to normal.
>>
>
>Thank you. I see I need to up my spodding to make it into the top 20.

You're welcome. Unfortunately the nightly report didn't happen... The
news server decided to reassert itself by simply refusing connections
at around midnight local time, which is when the reports _usually_ run.
A new report is there now. With any kind of luck things will return
to normal (because I really don't have time to implement yet another
stupidity workaround right now).

Jim Evans

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Oct 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/21/99
to

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Addendum: I looked up "spodumene"'s etymology, it's from the Greek,
> "spodousthai" meaning "to be burnt to ashes" and "spodos" meaning
> just "ashes".
>
> I no longer believe the similarity to Kim's "to spod" is coincidental.
> But unless someone has any knowledge of "spodding"'s orgins (Matt?),
> that will have to stay speculative.
>
>

And in response, thus spake the Oracle

} Back in the days of the Greek Pantheon, when the Oracle still lived on
} Olympus (this was before the Noodle incident), supplicants had to make
} the weary trudge up the mountain to ask their questions. This resulted
} in two kinds of supplicants:
}
} - the sort who, knowing the arduous journey involved,
} reserved the services of the Oracle for only their deepest
} imponderables - questions of politics, of philosophy, of
} baking, etc.
}
} - and then there was the sort who would simply save up all
} their questions over, say, a month or so, and so bombard
} the Oracle with a steady stream of pointless questions, like
} "What spice goes best with barbecued Texan? How many orifaces
} are there, really? What's with Joel Furr, anyway? How much wood
} would a woodchuck - "
}
} This last sort annoyed the Oracle immensely, and after about the fifth
} inane inquiry would <ZOT> the fools, leaving nothing but a pile of
} ashes.
}
} Hence the practice of bombarding the Oracle with a large volume of
} pointless questions was called "spodding", from the Greek "spodos" for
} ashes. This same term was later taken over into Usenet when the Oracle
} went online, and from there was generalized to mean "posting large
} volumes of blather to Usenet".
}
} You owe the Oracle a subscription to "World Wide Words" and a rational
} explanation of why "rhod" and "spod" rhyme.


Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/22/99
to
OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
now. I added some more stupidity checking that _should_ be able
to deal with my server's recent late-night temper tantrums, so
I think the regularly scheduled report might actually run tonight.
I can't say for sure, though, because it's hard to test this sort
of thing when the server's behaving properly.

The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
anyone who's interested enough to look.

The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
<http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.

Daniel E. Macks

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Oct 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/22/99
to
Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:
>OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>now. [...]

>The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>anyone who's interested enough to look.

I'm proud to certify that page does not look like crap in lynx.

dan, whose bright rd Siamese fighting fishies have no need for tables

--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks


Jim Evans

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Oct 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/22/99
to

On Fri, 22 Oct 1999, Tom Tom Harrington wrote:

}OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for

}now. I added some more stupidity checking that _should_ be able
}to deal with my server's recent late-night temper tantrums, so
}I think the regularly scheduled report might actually run tonight.
}I can't say for sure, though, because it's hard to test this sort
}of thing when the server's behaving properly.
}

}The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
}make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
}anyone who's interested enough to look.
}

}The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
}<http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.

It looks GRAPH-tastic, Tom "Tom". Very nice indeed.

JIM


Screwtape

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
Daniel E. Macks schrieb:

>Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:
>>OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>>now. [...]

>>The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>>make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>>anyone who's interested enough to look.
>
>I'm proud to certify that page does not look like crap in lynx.

But nowhere as cool as it looks in w3m.

>dan, whose bright rd Siamese fighting fishies have no need for tables

Mmm.. tables and frames. :)

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| Anyone ever told you you're beautiful? No? Ever wondered why?
|

fern-seed

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
>
> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> now. I added some more stupidity checking that _should_ be able
> to deal with my server's recent late-night temper tantrums, so
> I think the regularly scheduled report might actually run tonight.
> I can't say for sure, though, because it's hard to test this sort
> of thing when the server's behaving properly.
>
> The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
> make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
> anyone who's interested enough to look.
>
> The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
> <http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.

I meant to reply last night that I looked and I liked it. It is
interesting to see the volume of posters' posts in a visual format. Of
course, half of the names there are mine... :)

tim wren

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to

Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote ...

> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> now.

Ha! Spoke to soon.

> I added some more stupidity checking that _should_ be able
> to deal with my server's recent late-night temper tantrums, so
> I think the regularly scheduled report might actually run tonight.
> I can't say for sure, though, because it's hard to test this sort
> of thing when the server's behaving properly.
>
> The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
> make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
> anyone who's interested enough to look.

You obviously have trouble with this lot duplicating themselves:
AlSharka - asharka@mydejacom
AlSharka - asharka@yahoocom
BenFisher - benfisher@intelspambustercom
BenFisher - benfisherspambuster@intelcom
dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
fern-seed - fiddlehead@usanet
fern-seed - fiddleheads@usanet
JeffreyKaplan - gordol@gordolorg
JeffreyKaplan - gordoll@gordolorg
NobodyKnows - nobloodynose@aolcom
NobodyKnows - Nobloodynose@aolcom
ParisBeach - ParisBeach@CapsuleTechcom
ParisBeach - ParisBeach@HCMusiccom
UnderpaidArtiscyn - artiscyn@usanet
UnderpaidArtiscyn - cyninerraticzone@sympaticoca

I didn't notice these sort of duplicates before - but maybe it's not a
new problem - Daniel should feel cheated though - he'd otherwise
be_right_behind_Kevin.
And, Ooh, those BGCOLOR="FFCCFF" columns - just super.

Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren

fern-seed

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to


Yes, and I repeat time and time again.

Screwtape

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:

>The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.

Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and Kevin Kelley,
no less! Without even trying!

I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
everyone.. killfile me, now.

Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?

--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| I don't usually .sig people in newsgroups. -- Charles Lieberman
|

Screwtape

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
tim wren schrieb:

>Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote ...
>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>> now.
>
>Ha! Spoke to soon.

We're not letting a thread go *that* easily.

>> The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>> make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>> anyone who's interested enough to look.

I liked it. In fact, I've even posted a note to that effect on %afda for their
equivalent.

And in reply got another URL:
http://home.clara.net/imb/afda/froup-stats.html

If you're bored, go and see if you recognise any of the names..

>You obviously have trouble with this lot duplicating themselves:

<snip>

>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)

Am I seriously lacking sleep, or is there no difference there? (or is it a
trailing whitespace thing?

>fern-seed - fiddlehead@usanet
>fern-seed - fiddleheads@usanet

>UnderpaidArtiscyn - artiscyn@usanet
>UnderpaidArtiscyn - cyninerraticzone@sympaticoca

I can understand the script getting those four wrong. :)

>I didn't notice these sort of duplicates before - but maybe it's not a
>new problem - Daniel should feel cheated though - he'd otherwise
>be_right_behind_Kevin.
>And, Ooh, those BGCOLOR="FFCCFF" columns - just super.

Wonder where I am..

>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren

I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?

Ken and Alison Adams

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
Screwtape wrote:
>
> Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
> >The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
> ><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.
>
> Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and Kevin Kelley,
> no less! Without even trying!
>
> I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
> everyone.. killfile me, now.

It's a rare bird indeed that can spod his way to the top of TWO
newsfroups at the same time. I hope someone actually pays you to sit
around and do that. Congratulations, and keep up the good work.

>
> Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?
>

http://metalab.unc.edu/herbmed/rhod/main.html was last updated 08Oct99.

fern-seed

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to

Heh. I was going to have the fern-seed ID shown without the "s" and add
a .sig. I wanted to avoid receiving spam mail. However, I found out
that there is an account already in existence as fiddlehead@usanet. If
anyone from here were to email me, someone would get the mail, but it
wouldn't be me. The other two are ongoing accounts. I'm just about to
close down my first account, which is the last account shown. And
that's that.

Besides, I'm a woman, and it's my prerogative to change my mind. :)

Kevin Kelley

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
fern-seed <fiddl...@usa.net> said:

[snipped something irrelevant]

> Yes, and I repeat time and time again.

You must have the lushest garden in the state of Canada.

For myself I find that a single application of fertilizer, per
year, is quite satisfactory in making my garden grow.[1]

Of course I tend to use a pre-packaged, concentrated type, rather
than peat. I suppose the natural, organic, ones are probably
better, more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying to the gardener,
but frankly I'm just pleased I'm able to get something to grow.

Also it probably depends on the crop: if you're growing things
like cucumbers, zucchini and squash, carrots, and celery, a single
peating is probably enough; for things like roses, or strawberries
or tomatoes or other juicy succulents, multiple applications are
more appropriate.


Kevin "but I repeat myself" Kelley


[1] silver bells and little-dog smells, and pretty maids laid in a row

Kevin Kelley

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Oct 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/23/99
to
t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:

> >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> >>> now.

This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
--Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
case may be.

Good work, I'm impressed.


Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
In article <slrn811rnr...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu>, Daniel E. Macks wrote:

>Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:
>>OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>>now. [...]

>>The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>>make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>>anyone who's interested enough to look.
>
>I'm proud to certify that page does not look like crap in lynx.

Unlike most people who design HTML, I actually checked it in lynx
before announcing it. And even fixed a couple of things that _did_ look
like crap in lynx. Still not great, though-- anyone know a way
to suppress the "[INLINE]" without actually removing the image?

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
In article <slrn813d...@ferd2.thristian.org>, Screwtape wrote:
>tim wren schrieb:
>>Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote ...
>>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>>> now.
>>
>>Ha! Spoke to soon.
>
>We're not letting a thread go *that* easily.

OK, I suppose I knew it wasn't the last word. But hopefully it was the
last trouble rerport for a while. BTW, the line at the bottom reading

Reconnect count: 139

...is basically a count of how many times the script had to slap the server
upside of its head in order to get its work done. The run time is
mainly so that I can keep an eye on things. It _shouldn't_ take 415
seconds to do a report like this, but that's the price I pay for
getting results even in the face of random disconnects.

>>> The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>>> make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>>> anyone who's interested enough to look.
>

>I liked it. In fact, I've even posted a note to that effect on %afda for their
>equivalent.

Thanks!

>And in reply got another URL:
>http://home.clara.net/imb/afda/froup-stats.html
>
>If you're bored, go and see if you recognise any of the names..

Gee, that looks awfully familiar. I recall giving someone the code,
but I didn't realize they were using it.

>>You obviously have trouble with this lot duplicating themselves:
>
><snip>
>
>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>
>Am I seriously lacking sleep, or is there no difference there? (or is it a
>trailing whitespace thing?

I think Tim made a copying error-- I see these as:

dma...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)
dma...@mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks)

>>fern-seed - fiddlehead@usanet
>>fern-seed - fiddleheads@usanet
>>UnderpaidArtiscyn - artiscyn@usanet
>>UnderpaidArtiscyn - cyninerraticzone@sympaticoca
>
>I can understand the script getting those four wrong. :)

As much as I'd like to have a bit of AI in the script, it hasn't evolved
to this point yet. :-)

Screwtape

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Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:

>Unlike most people who design HTML, I actually checked it in lynx
>before announcing it. And even fixed a couple of things that _did_ look

Oooh! Use w3m! Use w3m!

>like crap in lynx. Still not great, though-- anyone know a way
>to suppress the "[INLINE]" without actually removing the image?

Tried an ALT tag?

w3m actually tries to replicate the spacing, it seems...

(on the %afda page..)

Poster Analysis

There are 47 posters in alt.fan.douglas-adams.

Number Percent Poster
27 13.78 [space-32-blue] "Chris Freestone" <cfree...@x-stream.co.uk>
22 11.22 [space-32-blue] s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
11 5.61 [space..] "iain" <ze...@NOSPAM.tfz.net>
10 5.10 [space..] Ben <late...@usa.net>
10 5.10 [space..] Hollis <hol...@another.address.entirely>
9 4.59 [space..] "Joseph Ornelas" <next...@geocities.com>
8 4.08 _ Greg Lukeman <luk...@mscs.dal.ca>
7 3.57 _ mer...@my-deja.com (Merlyne)
7 3.57 _ LA Rayner <in...@chromagraphics.sk.ca>
6 3.06 _ kris...@bu.edu (Kielinen)


OK, I've downloaded a copy, and manually inserted an ALT tag in the first four
places.

Now, in lynx, it looks like:

Number Percent Poster
27 13.78 ********** "Chris Freestone" <cfree...@x-stream.co.uk>
22 11.22 ******** s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
11 5.61 **** "iain" <ze...@NOSPAM.tfz.net>
10 5.10 **** Ben <late...@usa.net>
10 5.10 **** Hollis <hol...@another.address.entirely>
9 4.59 [space-32-blue.gif] "Joseph Ornelas" <next...@geocities.com>

and in w3m like:

Number Percent Poster
27 13.78 ********** "Chris Freestone" <cfree...@x-stream.co.uk>
22 11.22 ******** s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
11 5.61 **** "iain" <ze...@NOSPAM.tfz.net>
10 5.10 **** Ben <late...@usa.net>
10 5.10 **** Hollis <hol...@another.address.entirely>
9 4.59 [space..] "Joseph Ornelas" <next...@geocities.com>

Not bad, eh?

(I picked the # of asterisks by taking the width tag, dividing by ten, and taking
the nearest int)

--
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|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| "Earthworms are really good with dirt.. Is this too technical?" -- M*A*S*H
|

Henriette Kress

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
On Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:22:09 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote in
rec.humor.oracle.d:

>Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
>>The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
>><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.
>
>Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and Kevin Kelley,
>no less! Without even trying!
>
>I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
>everyone.. killfile me, now.
>

>Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?

Yes, but it's still September.

Cheers
Henriette

--
he...@saunalahti.fi Helsinki, Finland http://metalab.unc.edu/herbmed
Best of RHOD - http://metalab.unc.edu/herbmed/rhod/main.html

Screwtape

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Henriette Kress schrieb:

>>Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?
>
>Yes, but it's still September.

Ahh, thanks. I'll hope to find much more of my zany and whimsical but witty
humour therein.

'cos I certainly can't find any here.

Screwtape,
Who has learnt not to let rhodites finish his sentences.

--
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| "Forwards. Backwards. Inside-out forwards, inside-out backwards."
|

Jason Willoughby

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> wrote:
> Screwtape,
> Who has learnt not to let rhodites finish his sentences

in bed.

Donald Welsh

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
On Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:16:49 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
wrote:

>>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
>
>I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?

Obviously you're not in a relationship.


Donald Welsh

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to

YKYBRRHODWTMW...you post boring technical stuff to RHOD and can barely
resist the temptation to post RHOD-humor to technical froups.

Looks like it's Commonwealth Hackish. From the Jargon File 4.1.4:
spod n.

[UK] 1. A lower form of life found on talker systems and MUDs. The
spod has few friends in RL and uses talkers instead, finding
communication easier and preferable over the net. He has all the
negative traits of the computer geek without having any interest in
computers per se. Lacking any knowledge of or interest in how networks
work, and considering his access a God-given right, he is a major
irritant to sysadmins, clogging up lines in order to reach new MUDs,
following passed-on instructions on how to sneak his way onto Internet
("Wow! It's in America!") and complaining when he is not allowed to
use busy routes. A true spod will start any conversation with "Are you
male or female?" (and follow it up with "Got any good
numbers/IDs/passwords?") and will not talk to someone physically
present in the same terminal room until they log onto the same machine
that he is using and enter talk mode. Compare newbie, tourist, weenie,
twink, terminal junkie, warez d00dz. 2. A backronym for "Sole Purpose,
Obtain a Degree"; according to some self-described spods, this term is
used by indifferent students to condemn their harder-working fellows.
Compare the defiant adoption of the term `geek' in the mid-1990s by
people who would previously have been stigmatized by it (see computer
geek). 3. [obs.] An ordinary person; a random. This is the meaning
with which the term was coined, but the inventor informs us he has
himself accepted sense 1.


(this line left deliberately blank)


Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Henriette Kress <he...@saunalahti.fi> said:

>s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>>Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
>>>
>>>The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
>>><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.
>>
>>Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and
>>Kevin Kelley no less! Without even trying!

>>
>>I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
>>everyone.. killfile me, now.
>>
>>Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?
>
>Yes, but it's still September.

September 2245th, to be exact.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies sing "This is the month
that never ends"

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:
>Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:
>>>OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>>>now. [...]

>>>The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>>>make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>>>anyone who's interested enough to look.
>>
>>I'm proud to certify that page does not look like crap in lynx.
>
>Unlike most people who design HTML, I actually checked it in lynx
>before announcing it. And even fixed a couple of things that _did_ look
>like crap in lynx. Still not great, though-- anyone know a way
>to suppress the "[INLINE]" without actually removing the image?

Use an ALT attribute in each <IMG>.
<img src="images/my-left-buttock.gif" alt="left buttock">
Non-graphicalized browsers will display the text string.

A while back I complained ot some company that their web-page relied
heavily graphical icon buttons, and thus was not usable by me. Tols
'em about ALT, got a nice reply thanking me for the suggestion and
inviting me back to take a look. They had used "click here" as the ALT
for every button on the page.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fightin fishies' vt320 has no mouse

Henriette Kress

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
On Mon, 25 Oct 1999 00:10:09 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote in
rec.humor.oracle.d:

>Jason Willoughby schrieb:

>Would it be too much to ask Henrietta to put this into borhod?
...in bed, you mean?

Sorry, there isn't time.

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> said:
>tim wren schrieb:
>>Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote ...
>>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
>>> now.
>>
>>Ha! Spoke to soon.

>>
>>You obviously have trouble with this lot duplicating themselves:
>
><snip>
>
>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>
>Am I seriously lacking sleep, or is there no difference there? (or is it a
>trailing whitespace thing?

I'm gonna have to guess that Tim's copy'n'paste dropped all
![a-zA-Z@], since people's names have to spaces and domain atoms are
not .-separated. In fact, 'mail.sas.upenn.edu' doesn't exist, but is
made up of two time-sparing boxes (mail1 and mail2). As a result, my
posts sometimes come from one and sometimes the other (namely two).
This gives DejaSucksAss^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HNews a headache for
searching. Now that I'm using slrn instead of tin (resouce limits
preclude the use of gnus at the moment) I can possibly fix this whole
mess. As soon as my boss gives me something to do, I'll get started
futzing with my new dotfile right away.

>>I didn't notice these sort of duplicates before - but maybe it's not a
>>new problem - Daniel should feel cheated though - he'd otherwise
>>be_right_behind_Kevin.

Hell yeah!

>>And, Ooh, those BGCOLOR="FFCCFF" columns - just super.
>>

>>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
>
>I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies prefer "get drunk" and
"get laid"

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh) said:

> On Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:16:49 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
> wrote:
>

> >>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
> >
> >I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?
>

> Obviously you're not in a relationship.

A relationship isn't something you sleep in and get wet?

Kevin "this mind intentionally left blank" Kelley

Jeff Zeitlin

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to
t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) wrote:

>In article <slrn811rnr...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu>, Daniel E. Macks wrote:
>>Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> said:

>>>OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for

>>>now. [...]
>>>The reports have also been updated with enough shiny happy HTML to
>>>make most people physically ill, so I'd appreciate feedback from
>>>anyone who's interested enough to look.

>>I'm proud to certify that page does not look like crap in lynx.

>Unlike most people who design HTML, I actually checked it in lynx
>before announcing it. And even fixed a couple of things that _did_ look
>like crap in lynx. Still not great, though-- anyone know a way
>to suppress the "[INLINE]" without actually removing the image?

Suppress it, no - but ALT text is sorta your friend...

I think that if you do <IMG SRC="etc.gif" ALT=" ">, lynx users
will see not [IMAGE] but merely [ ].

--
Jeff Zeitlin
jzei...@cyburban.com

Jim Evans

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to

On Sun, 24 Oct 1999, Donald Welsh wrote:

}On Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:16:49 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
}wrote:
}
}>>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
}>
}>I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?
}
}Obviously you're not in a relationship.

.. where if you play your cards right, you can do both at once.

JIM, ...in bed


tim wren

unread,
Oct 24, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/24/99
to

Daniel E. Macks wrote ...

> I'm gonna have to guess that Tim's copy'n'paste dropped all
> ![a-zA-Z@], since people's names have to spaces and domain atoms are
> not .-separated.

Yup, sorry for the confusion here. So I could sort them alphabetically, I
found/replaced all the preceding numbers and other non-letters. That ripped
out your 1-2 mailbox distinctions too.

Tim

Screwtape

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Jason Willoughby schrieb:
>Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> wrote:
>> Screwtape,
>> Who has learnt not to let rhodites finish his sentences
>
>in bed.

Would it be too much to ask Henrietta to put this into borhod?

--

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|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| "I've got this brilliant idea but I don't know where it is." -- My Sister
|

Donald Welsh

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
On 24 Oct 1999 15:46:18 GMT, dma...@mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E.
Macks) wrote:

>Henriette Kress <he...@saunalahti.fi> said:
>>s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape) wrote:
>>>Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
>>>>
>>>>The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
>>>><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.
>>>
>>>Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and
>>>Kevin Kelley no less! Without even trying!
>>>
>>>I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
>>>everyone.. killfile me, now.
>>>
>>>Speaking of archives, is Henrietta's BORHOD archive updated yet?
>>
>>Yes, but it's still September.
>
>September 2245th, to be exact.
>
>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies sing "This is the month
>that never ends"

Good heavens, Miss Akimoto! A song cue!

Eternal September Anthem
------------------------

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
some lusers started posting here
not knowing netiquette
and they'll continue posting here
they haven't finished yet

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
AOLers quoted everything
just to add "me too"
you'd think that they'd have stopped by now
they haven't got a clue

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
B1FF startled everyone
with nothing much to say
you can find him everywhere
he's never gone away

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
spods and trollers here
causing endless strife
they'll continue flaming dear
until they get a life

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
more newbies find the internet
every single day
they ask the same old questions
that were answered yesterday

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
the spammers telling you
how to make money fast
don't you ever answer them
just try to duck the blast

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
September started up one year
and then it came again
September hasn't ended dear
and never will again

This is the month that never ends

it just goes on and on, my friends
...


(With apologies to Shari Lewis.)


Screwtape

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Daniel E. Macks schrieb:

>>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>>>dmacks@mailsasupennedu(DanielEMacks)
>>
>>Am I seriously lacking sleep, or is there no difference there? (or is it a
>>trailing whitespace thing?
>
>I'm gonna have to guess that Tim's copy'n'paste dropped all
>![a-zA-Z@], since people's names have to spaces and domain atoms are
>not .-separated. In fact, 'mail.sas.upenn.edu' doesn't exist, but is

I thought it was an attempt at making it human-readable-but-failing-spambot-
regexps.

>searching. Now that I'm using slrn instead of tin (resouce limits
>preclude the use of gnus at the moment) I can possibly fix this whole
>mess. As soon as my boss gives me something to do, I'll get started
>futzing with my new dotfile right away.

Aethetics preclude the use of gnus, since gnus requires the use of emacs. :)

Would you like a sample config file?

>>>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
>>
>>I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?
>

>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies prefer "get drunk" and
>"get laid"

I see no drunk here.

Screwtape
Who was going to put "...no laid here" but suddenly saw the comic opportunities
of the alternative.

--
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|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| Pain clots and unformed lice pat this train.
|

Screwtape

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Kevin Kelley schrieb:

>dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh) said:
>> On Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:16:49 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
>> wrote:
>>
>> >>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
>> >
>> >I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?
>>
>> Obviously you're not in a relationship.
>
>A relationship isn't something you sleep in and get wet?

I slept in my relationship once - boy, was it messy when I woke up! That, of
course, was before I got it wet and it dissolved.

--
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|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| Anyone ever told you you're beautiful? No? Ever wondered why?
|

Screwtape

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Donald Welsh schrieb:
>spods and trollers here

Fine. But what am I queueing for?

--
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|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|

| "Bang your head! Mental health will drive you mad!" -- Weird Al
|

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:ZlwSOCYXHIUNPy...@4ax.com...

> t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
>
> > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> > >>> now.
>
> This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> case may be.
>
> Good work, I'm impressed.
>
>
> Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley

ME TOO!

(the report does look good BTW)

Tom Tom Harrington

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
In article <slrn814t...@ferd2.thristian.org>, Screwtape wrote:
>Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
>>Unlike most people who design HTML, I actually checked it in lynx
>>before announcing it. And even fixed a couple of things that _did_ look
>
>Oooh! Use w3m! Use w3m!
>
>>like crap in lynx. Still not great, though-- anyone know a way
>>to suppress the "[INLINE]" without actually removing the image?
>
>Tried an ALT tag?
<snip>

>OK, I've downloaded a copy, and manually inserted an ALT tag in the first four
>places.
>
>Now, in lynx, it looks like:
>
> Number Percent Poster
> 27 13.78 ********** "Chris Freestone" <cfree...@x-stream.co.uk>
> 22 11.22 ******** s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
> 11 5.61 **** "iain" <ze...@NOSPAM.tfz.net>
> 10 5.10 **** Ben <late...@usa.net>
> 10 5.10 **** Hollis <hol...@another.address.entirely>
> 9 4.59 [space-32-blue.gif] "Joseph Ornelas" <next...@geocities.com>
>
>and in w3m like:
>
> Number Percent Poster
> 27 13.78 ********** "Chris Freestone" <cfree...@x-stream.co.uk>
> 22 11.22 ******** s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
> 11 5.61 **** "iain" <ze...@NOSPAM.tfz.net>
> 10 5.10 **** Ben <late...@usa.net>
> 10 5.10 **** Hollis <hol...@another.address.entirely>
> 9 4.59 [space..] "Joseph Ornelas" <next...@geocities.com>
>
>Not bad, eh?

Hey, that's pretty good. I'll have to steal that idea. :-)

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Kevin Kelley wrote:
>
> t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
>
> > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> > >>> now.
>
> This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> case may be.
>
> Good work, I'm impressed.
>
> Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley

ME TOO!!

Ben
--
The stars predict tomorrow you'll | I don't claim to
wake up, do a bunch of stuff and | speak for Intel.
then go back to sleep. | Yet.
- A. Yankovic |

Modify my email address to reply

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Nobody Knows wrote:
>
> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
> news:ZlwSOCYXHIUNPy...@4ax.com...
> > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
> >
> > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> > > >>> now.
> >
> > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> > I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> > say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> > --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> > case may be.
> >
> > Good work, I'm impressed.
> >
> >
> > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
>
> ME TOO!
>

Dammit! That'll teach me not to read to the end of a thread.

Ben
no, it won't.

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Screwtape wrote:
>
> Tom "Tom" Harrington schrieb:
> >The RHOD daily traffic report is at:
> ><http://home.rmi.net/~tph/rhod-traffic.html>.
>
> Great scott! I'm first! In front of the prodigous Nobody Knows and Kevin Kelley,

> no less! Without even trying!
>
> I've done it in afda, but I never thought I'd do it to rhod. I'm so sorry,
> everyone.. killfile me, now.

You got it. *plonk*

Ben

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to

Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> wrote in message
news:3814DFD4...@intel.spam.buster.com...

> Nobody Knows wrote:
> >
> > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
> > news:ZlwSOCYXHIUNPy...@4ax.com...
> > > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
> > >
> > > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports
for
> > > > >>> now.
> > >
> > > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> > > I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> > > say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> > > --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> > > case may be.
> > >
> > > Good work, I'm impressed.
> > >
> > >
> > > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
> >
> > ME TOO!
> >
>
> Dammit! That'll teach me not to read to the end of a thread.


ME TOO!

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 25, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/25/99
to
Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:

> Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >
> > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
> >
> > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports for
> > > >>> now.
> >
> > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> > I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> > say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> > --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> > case may be.
> >
> > Good work, I'm impressed.
> >
> > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
>

> ME TOO!!

I've decided that I've got enough stats now, so I'm going to stop
posting senseless followups when I don't have anything to say.


Kevin "real soon now" Kelley

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:+usUOFy8ky=+XF2IZkc...@4ax.com...

ME TOO!!

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to

M3 2!!!!1!11

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...


> > Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:
> >
> > > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > > >
> > > > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
> > > >
> > > > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports
> > > > > >>> for now.
> > > >
> > > > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> > > > I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> > > > say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> > > > --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> > > > case may be.
> > > >
> > > > Good work, I'm impressed.
> > > >
> > > > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
> > >
> > > ME TOO!!
> >
> > I've decided that I've got enough stats now, so I'm going to stop
> > posting senseless followups when I don't have anything to say.
> >
> >
> > Kevin "real soon now" Kelley
>
> ME TOO!!

See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
than a bunch of stat-sluts!

Kevin "call me jane" Kelley

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:+=MVOCy7SWJORq8...@4ax.com...

Why do I keep thinking this should somehow tie into the conversation of
beauty and brains?

>
>
>
> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley

Call me "Loretta" and I'm a better looking and smarter slut^wperson than
"Jane" is.

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
Kevin Kelley wrote:
>
> "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>
> > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...
> > > Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:
> > >
> > > > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
> > > > >
> > > > > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic reports
> > > > > > >>> for now.
> > > > >
> > > > > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while, since
> > > > > I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up there I gotta
> > > > > say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate my accomplishments.
> > > > > --Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough time working, as the
> > > > > case may be.
> > > > >
> > > > > Good work, I'm impressed.
> > > > >
> > > > > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
> > > >
> > > > ME TOO!!
> > >
> > > I've decided that I've got enough stats now, so I'm going to stop
> > > posting senseless followups when I don't have anything to say.
> > >
> > >
> > > Kevin "real soon now" Kelley
> >
> > ME TOO!!
>
> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
> than a bunch of stat-sluts!

That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
we're having a second go round.

> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley

Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?

Ben

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
On Tue, 26 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:

> Kevin Kelley wrote:
>>
>> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>
> Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?

s/Jane/Oblivion/

-Lars "Wink of the eye/twitch of the lips/first one to scream gets it right
between the tits" Clausen

--
Lars R. Clausen (http://shasta.cs.uiuc.edu/~lrclause) HÃ¥rdgrim of Westfield
"I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your
right to say it." -- Voltaire (?)

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:
}Kevin Kelley wrote:
}> "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
}> > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...
}> > > Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:
}> > > > Kevin Kelley wrote:
}> > > > > t...@acm.org (Tom "Tom" Harrington) said:
}> > > > >
}> > > > > > >>> OK, I _think_ this is the last word on the daily traffic
}> > > > > > >>> reports for now.
}> > > > >
}> > > > > This is cool! Looks really nice. I hadn't looked for a while,
}> > > > > since I hadn't been posting so much, but now that my name's up
}> > > > > there I gotta say I like having such a fancy page to commemorate
}> > > > > my accomplishments--Or to remind me that I'm not spending enough

}> > > > > time working, as the case may be.
}> > > > >
}> > > > > Good work, I'm impressed.
}> > > > >
}> > > > > Kevin "...and posting this thank-you note'll help my stats!" Kelley
}> > > >
}> > > > ME TOO!!
}> > >
}> > > I've decided that I've got enough stats now, so I'm going to stop
}> > > posting senseless followups when I don't have anything to say.
}> > >
}> > >
}> > > Kevin "real soon now" Kelley
}> >
}> > ME TOO!!
}>
}> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
}> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
}
}That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
}we're having a second go round.

No we're not.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can stoop very low

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
>
>Kevin "call me jane" Kelley

Hi Kev dear. Shall we meet at your place, or is your wife gonna be home?

Jane

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> said:

> Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >
> > Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>

> Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?

Dunno. She never came back from the honeymoon.


Kevin "I lose more wives that way" Kelley

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 26, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/26/99
to
dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> >
> >Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>

> Hi Kev dear. Shall we meet at your place, or is your wife gonna be home?
>
> Jane


Dear Jane,

My place is fine, wife'll be at her softball game for a while yet.
Feeding the fishes.


Kevin "there's only one thread really" Kelley

Tom Tom Harrington

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
In article <38162FC2...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>Kevin Kelley wrote:
>>
>> "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>> > ME TOO!!
>>
>> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
>> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
>
>That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
>we're having a second go round.

Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to

Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote in message
news:slrn81e5o...@shell.rmi.net...

> In article <38162FC2...@intel.spam.buster.com>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >>
> >> "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >> > ME TOO!!
> >>
> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
> >
> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
> >we're having a second go round.
>
> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!


If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
Nobody Knows <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote:

>> In article <whatever>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
>> >>
>> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
>> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
>> >
>> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
>> >we're having a second go round.
>>
>> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
>> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!
>
>If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands

Or we have a community anus.

For some reason, Parker Brothers rejected this idea...

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't want to know what
the card would say

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to

Daniel E. Macks <dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote in message
news:slrn81eehc...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu...

> Nobody Knows <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote:
> >> In article <whatever>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> >> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
> >> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
> >> >
> >> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
> >> >we're having a second go round.
> >>
> >> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
> >> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!
> >
> >If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands
>
> Or we have a community anus.

I vote that we elect Kevin for that job.

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:

>
> Daniel E. Macks <dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote in message
> news:slrn81eehc...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu...
> > Nobody Knows <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> > >Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote:
> > >> In article <whatever>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> > >> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
> > >> >>
> > >> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
> > >> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
> > >> >
> > >> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
> > >> >we're having a second go round.
> > >>
> > >> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
> > >> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!
> > >
> > >If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands
> >
> > Or we have a community anus.
>
> I vote that we elect Kevin for that job.

Aw, c'mon, make somebody else be the anus. I wanna be something
sexy, like the community receding hairline.

Nobody wants to be the anus.

It's a tough position to fill.


Kevin "badaboom. Thank you, I'm here all weak" Kelley

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:gEsXOP+fiqmDEm...@4ax.com...

I'll be the anus, but only if I'm also the cummunity dick.

>
> It's a tough position to fill.

This from a man who claims he's never had an enema...

Paul L. Kelly

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

>"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>
>>
>> Daniel E. Macks <dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote in message
>> news:slrn81eehc...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu...
>> > Nobody Knows <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>> > >Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote:
>> > >> In article <whatever>, Ben Fisher wrote:
>> > >> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
>> > >> >>
>> > >> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
>> > >> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
>> > >> >
>> > >> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
>> > >> >we're having a second go round.
>> > >>
>> > >> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
>> > >> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!
>> > >
>> > >If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands
>> >
>> > Or we have a community anus.
>>
>> I vote that we elect Kevin for that job.
>
>Aw, c'mon, make somebody else be the anus. I wanna be something
>sexy, like the community receding hairline.

Your anal hairline is receding? You should see a doctor about that.

--
Paul L. Kelly, whose daughter's soon-to-be world famous ornamental horned
frog has, proportionate to its body size, the largest mouth on the planet.

bright...@mindspring.com
Put periods in-between the words to send me e-mail. Or if you know
my real address you can use that.

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
Lars Clausen wrote:
>
> On Tue, 26 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:
>
> > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >>
> >> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
> >
> > Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?
>
> s/Jane/Oblivion/
>
> -Lars "Wink of the eye/twitch of the lips/first one to scream gets it right
> between the tits" Clausen

Hey, Riff, is that a banana in your hair, or are you just glad to see me.

My brother went to see that, after we hadn't seen it for 10 years, and said
the crowd was much rowdier, ruder, and didn't know any of the lines. I
think I'll keep my memories.

Ben
Elbow Fuck!

Ken Harlan

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
In article <381762A8...@intel.spam.buster.com> Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com> writes:
>From: Ben Fisher <ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com>
>Subject: Re: rhod -- The Wasteland
>Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 13:38:00 -0700

>Lars Clausen wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, 26 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:
>>
>> > Kevin Kelley wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>> >
>> > Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?
>>
>> s/Jane/Oblivion/
>>
>> -Lars "Wink of the eye/twitch of the lips/first one to scream gets it right
>> between the tits" Clausen

>Hey, Riff, is that a banana in your hair, or are you just glad to see me.

>My brother went to see that, after we hadn't seen it for 10 years, and said
>the crowd was much rowdier, ruder, and didn't know any of the lines. I
>think I'll keep my memories.

Those would be memories of what?

Ken "Memories ain't what they used to be." Harlan

Jane

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:

>dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
>> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
>> >
>> >Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>>
>> Hi Kev dear. Shall we meet at your place, or is your wife gonna be home?
>>
>> Jane
>
>Dear Jane,
>
>My place is fine, wife'll be at her softball game for a while yet.
>Feeding the fishes.

So *that's* the game you want to play tonite. Well as long as you
still have your "Louisville Slugger" ready, I've got a pitch that's
sure to make you pop up to the mound.

>Kevin "there's only one thread really" Kelley

You found my thong!

-Jane

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly) said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
> >"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >> Daniel E. Macks <dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu> wrote in message
> >> news:slrn81eehc...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu...
> >> > Nobody Knows <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >> > >Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@acm.org> wrote:
> >> > >> In article <whatever>, Ben Fisher wrote:
> >> > >> >Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >> > >> >>
> >> > >> >> See what you've done, "Tom"? You've turned us into nothing more
> >> > >> >> than a bunch of stat-sluts!
> >> > >> >
> >> > >> >That happened when he first put up the page. Now he's improved it, so
> >> > >> >we're having a second go round.
> >> > >>
> >> > >> Ha!! You are all in my power! You are puppets doing my bidding! I
> >> > >> am the puppeteer, which means that I have my hands up your... eww!
> >> > >
> >> > >If you're fisting all of us you've got a lot of hands
> >> >
> >> > Or we have a community anus.
> >>
> >> I vote that we elect Kevin for that job.
> >
> >Aw, c'mon, make somebody else be the anus. I wanna be something
> >sexy, like the community receding hairline.
>
> Your anal hairline is receding? You should see a doctor about that.

Normally I just comb the remaining hair across the bald spot.

An added benefit of this practice is that the comb works great at
removing danglers: [1] a few strokes and they drop right off. You
don't even have to wash the comb!


So then I'm thinking, Paul's a bright guy, maybe I should listen
to his advice. Luckily I was just walking past a doctor's office
when I thought that, so I went in and asked the receptionist for
an appointment. She asked, "do you have an appointment?" which
seemed a little redundant but I let it go. "Let's see if we have
any openings" she said. We definitely have an opening, it's what
I'm here for. She seems quite startled when I show it to her though.
"What seems to be the problem?" she asked. The crowd in the waiting
area leans forward. "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY ANUS!" I said
calmly. "Could you repeat that?" They do this as a form of torture,
death by embarrassment. She didn't even write it down, just smirked.

So after the giggling dies down she puts me in an exam room. I
decide to be considerate and speed things up by getting stripped
before the doctor shows up; they're busy people you know. So I'm
naked and bent over the table, practicing my "show it to doc" grip,
when the door opens. Boy did that candy-striper turn red!

Eventually we get me weighed and measured and blood pressure taken.
The candy-striper, what a girl, did the blood pressure cuff around
my penis and we had lots of fun pumping it up and taking readings.
Okay, I made that part up. Finally the doc shows up -- we're having
sex by then -- (okay, I made that up too) and we get to the business
at hand.

"I want you to look at my anus," I said. Doc's a petite redhead
(Honest! now hush, who's telling this story?), so I'm happy to show
her anything. I go into "show it for doc" mode again, the practice
helped, and she spends several minutes poking and prodding. I try
not to moan too loudly when she finds my prostate. Not too quietly,
either, just in case she wants to spend a little extra time there.
Finally she says "looks fine to me; what seems to be the problem?"
I tell her my hairline's receding. Boy, redheads are cute when they
get angry! But next time I'll wait until she's taken her finger
out of my anus before I piss her off.

Once I explain that I meant the hair around my anus she calms down
and gives me a cloth to stop the bleeding. Unfortunately, she says,
there's not much that can be done about it; she gave me some Rogaine
samples and suggested that I comb the remaining hair across, so I
felt proud I'd got that right.

Well, to make a long story short, we exchanged phone numbers and
chaste kisses, and I made sure to tip well so she'd remember me
fondly. The candy-striper peeked out and gave me a shy wave, she's
still blushing, isn't that cute? and I scowled at the receptionist
as I walked back out to the street. That's my story.


Kevin "so how did everybody else spend the afternoon?" Kelley


[1] NOTE TO FIENDISH SINGLE-SPACERS: two spaces here! Here too!
Nyaaa!

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
On Wed, 27 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:

> Lars Clausen wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, 26 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:
>>
>> > Kevin Kelley wrote:
>> >>

>> >> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
>> >

>> > Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?
>>
>> s/Jane/Oblivion/
>>
>> -Lars "Wink of the eye/twitch of the lips/first one to scream gets it
>> right between the tits" Clausen
>
> Hey, Riff, is that a banana in your hair, or are you just glad to see me.

We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

> My brother went to see that, after we hadn't seen it for 10 years, and
> said the crowd was much rowdier, ruder, and didn't know any of the lines.
> I think I'll keep my memories.

Depends a lot on the place. Go for the regular showings with a steady
crowd, rather than the occasionals where a lot of newbies come in.
Evanston has a pretty good one Saturday midnights.

> Ben
> Elbow Fuck!

Same line, different week, what a cheap audience!

-Lars "Let there be lips!" Clausen

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to
dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> >dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
> >> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> >> >

> >> >Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
> >>

> >> Hi Kev dear. Shall we meet at your place, or is your wife gonna be home?
> >>
> >> Jane
> >
> >Dear Jane,
> >
> >My place is fine, wife'll be at her softball game for a while yet.
> >Feeding the fishes.
>
> So *that's* the game you want to play tonite. Well as long as you
> still have your "Louisville Slugger" ready, I've got a pitch that's
> sure to make you pop up to the mound.
>
> >Kevin "there's only one thread really" Kelley
>
> You found my thong!
>
> -Jane

That's another keyboard you owe me.


Kevin "actually I'm wearing it" Kelley

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 27, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/27/99
to

Is that practical? Don't you have to twist your arms into bizarre,
pretzel-like shapes to use it? And where did you put the mouse?

-Lars "Cabinet chained to leg" Clausen

Donald Welsh

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
On Mon, 25 Oct 1999 18:21:58 +1100, s...@ferd2.thristian.org (Screwtape)
wrote:

>Donald Welsh schrieb:
>>spods and trollers here
>
>Fine. But what am I queueing for?

I see you're still waiting to be given an assignment. Your mission is
to learn about the origins of life on earth. It is a major challenge,
learning all you can about paleology, cosmology, geology, and biology.
You do not have to abandon any religious beliefs, but you do have to
look for the evidence of what is asserted. If you participate in any
debate, you are required to add to the signal rather than the noise.

Good luck in your mission. I wish you well.


Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:Rm4XOA=Q3cELoK7Ao...@4ax.com...

You just ruined the magic of combing my anal hairs, TYVM, YFF.

So, Kevin, you've been drinking again I see. Kinda lonely out there in
Wyoming, or whereever you are?

Nobody Knows

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:6KYXOKN4Tixstb...@4ax.com...

> dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
>
> > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> > >dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
> > >> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> > >> >
> > >> >Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
> > >>
> > >> Hi Kev dear. Shall we meet at your place, or is your wife gonna be
home?
> > >>
> > >> Jane
> > >
> > >Dear Jane,
> > >
> > >My place is fine, wife'll be at her softball game for a while yet.
> > >Feeding the fishes.
> >
> > So *that's* the game you want to play tonite. Well as long as you
> > still have your "Louisville Slugger" ready, I've got a pitch that's
> > sure to make you pop up to the mound.
> >
> > >Kevin "there's only one thread really" Kelley
> >
> > You found my thong!
> >
> > -Jane

Alright dmacks/Jane, stay away from my woman, Kevin belongs to me!

>
> That's another keyboard you owe me.
>
>
> Kevin "actually I'm wearing it" Kelley

And you, go put on something respectable, you look like a little hussy in
that...Never mind, I kind of like you like that!

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
Lars Clausen wrote:
>
> On Wed, 27 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:
>
> > Lars Clausen wrote:
> >>
> >> On Tue, 26 Oct 1999, ben.f...@intel.spam.buster.com wrote:
> >>
> >> > Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >> Kevin "call me jane" Kelley
> >> >
> >> > Hi, Jane. How's the wife and kids?
> >>
> >> s/Jane/Oblivion/
> >>
> >> -Lars "Wink of the eye/twitch of the lips/first one to scream gets it
> >> right between the tits" Clausen
> >
> > Hey, Riff, is that a banana in your hair, or are you just glad to see me.
>
> We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
>
> > My brother went to see that, after we hadn't seen it for 10 years, and
> > said the crowd was much rowdier, ruder, and didn't know any of the lines.
> > I think I'll keep my memories.
>
> Depends a lot on the place. Go for the regular showings with a steady
> crowd, rather than the occasionals where a lot of newbies come in.
> Evanston has a pretty good one Saturday midnights.

It's been running in the same place for at least 15 years every Friday
night at midnight. I went religously for three months, then I had to go
away to college and find a real life.

Now I feel old.

> > Ben
> > Elbow Fuck!
>
> Same line, different week, what a cheap audience!

Don't forget to turn the globe off! You do that every week.


Ben
still looking for that Real Life(TM)

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
Lars Clausen <lrcl...@cs.uiuc.edu> said:

> On Wed, 27 Oct 1999, kel...@ruralnet.net wrote:
>
> > dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
> >>

> >> You found my thong!
> >>
> >> -Jane
> >

> > That's another keyboard you owe me.
> >
> >
> > Kevin "actually I'm wearing it" Kelley
>

> Is that practical? Don't you have to twist your arms into bizarre,
> pretzel-like shapes to use it? And where did you put the mouse?

Oh, great. I post swatches of great literature (over there <---)
but all you people can think about is how I look in this thong, or
even worse, in nothing but a strategically-placed keyboard.

And FYI, I don't use a mouse, I've got quite a satisfactory pointing
device of my own.


Kevin "click!" Kelley


Jane: actually I found it wrapped around my carburetor when I went
to check my oil this morning. Not sure quite what you were doing when
you left it there; checking the fuel injectors maybe. My engine's
definitely running a little hotter now! No, you can't have it back.


> -Lars "Cabinet chained to leg" Clausen

ITYM "cabana-boy trained to beg"

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
Screwtape <s...@ferd2.thristian.org> said:
>Daniel E. Macks schrieb:
>>
>>searching. Now that I'm using slrn instead of tin (resouce limits
>>preclude the use of gnus at the moment) I can possibly fix this whole
>>mess. As soon as my boss gives me something to do, I'll get started
>>futzing with my new dotfile right away.
>
>Aethetics preclude the use of gnus, since gnus requires the use of emacs. :)
>
>Would you like a sample config file?

Sure.

>>>>Tim "things you can do on a wet Saturday morning, part 3" Wren
>>>
>>>I assume the other two were "sleep in" and "get wet"?
>>
>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies prefer "get drunk" and
>>"get laid"
>
>I see no drunk here.

DRINK FIFTH

>Screwtape
>Who was going to put "...no laid here" but suddenly saw the comic
>opportunities of the alternative.

Valid point (even if "comedy" is a bit of a stretch for RHOD).

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies will have tragedy
tomorrow, comedy tonight

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
On Thu, 28 Oct 1999, kel...@ruralnet.net wrote:

> And FYI, I don't use a mouse, I've got quite a satisfactory pointing
> device of my own.
>

> Jane: actually I found it wrapped around my carburetor when I went
> to check my oil this morning. Not sure quite what you were doing when
> you left it there; checking the fuel injectors maybe. My engine's
> definitely running a little hotter now! No, you can't have it back.

That must *really* have hurt!

-Lars "owowowowowowowowow!" Clausen

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Oct 28, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/28/99
to
Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
>Lars Clausen <lrcl...@cs.uiuc.edu> said:
>> On Wed, 27 Oct 1999, kel...@ruralnet.net wrote:
>> > dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
>> >>
>> >> You found my thong!
>> >>
>> >> -Jane
>> >
>> > That's another keyboard you owe me.
>> >
>> > Kevin "actually I'm wearing it" Kelley
>>
>> Is that practical? Don't you have to twist your arms into bizarre,
>> pretzel-like shapes to use it? And where did you put the mouse?
>
>Oh, great. I post swatches of great literature (over there <---)
>but all you people can think about is how I look in this thong, or
>even worse, in nothing but a strategically-placed keyboard.
>
>And FYI, I don't use a mouse, I've got quite a satisfactory pointing
>device of my own.

I thought a floppy was more of a data storage device.

>Kevin "click!" Kelley

Head crash?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies hope it's not scuzzy

Donald Welsh

unread,
Oct 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/29/99
to
On 24 Oct 1999 15:51:19 GMT, dma...@mail2.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E.
Macks) wrote:

>They had used "click here" as the ALT
>for every button on the page.

A triumph of consistency over utility.

Kind of like RHOD, in a way.


Kevin Kelley

unread,
Oct 29, 1999, 3:00:00 AM10/29/99
to
dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
> >Lars Clausen <lrcl...@cs.uiuc.edu> said:
> >> On Wed, 27 Oct 1999, kel...@ruralnet.net wrote:
> >> > dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Jane) said:
> >> >>
> >> >> You found my thong!
> >> >>
> >> >> -Jane
> >> >
> >> > That's another keyboard you owe me.
> >> >
> >> > Kevin "actually I'm wearing it" Kelley
> >>
> >> Is that practical? Don't you have to twist your arms into bizarre,
> >> pretzel-like shapes to use it? And where did you put the mouse?
> >
> >Oh, great. I post swatches of great literature (over there <---)
> >but all you people can think about is how I look in this thong, or
> >even worse, in nothing but a strategically-placed keyboard.
> >
> >And FYI, I don't use a mouse, I've got quite a satisfactory pointing
> >device of my own.
>
> I thought a floppy was more of a data storage device.
>
> >Kevin "click!" Kelley
>
> Head crash?

Thanks Jane, maybe later.


Kevin "crash" Kelley

Fern-Seed

unread,
Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
Nobody Knows wrote:
>
> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message

You're stalking him and you don't know where he is?

Daniel E. Macks

unread,
Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> said:
>Nobody Knows wrote:
>> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote:
[try not to suck any SNIP on the way to the parking lot]

>> >
>> > Kevin "so how did everybody else spend the afternoon?" Kelley
>>
>> So, Kevin, you've been drinking again I see. Kinda lonely out there in
>> Wyoming, or whereever you are?
>
>You're stalking him and you don't know where he is?

It doesn't matter if he knows where he is...just that he's getting
closer...closer...close enough to know that he parts his anal hairs to
the left.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have a telephoto lens

Nobody Knows

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Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to

Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:381DB03D...@usa.net...
> > > Kevin "so how did everybody else spend the afternoon?" Kelley
> >
> > So, Kevin, you've been drinking again I see. Kinda lonely out there in
> > Wyoming, or whereever you are?
> >
>
> You're stalking him and you don't know where he is?

Well...yeah. I mean, it makes stalking a CHALLENGE. Anyone can stalk
someone when they know RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE, but try stalking someone when
you don't even know what country they live in. Although I have narrowed it
down to Kevin lives somewhere on this planet, most of the time. Except when
he's been drinking.

Kevin Kelley

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Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> said:

> Nobody Knows wrote:
> >
> > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...
[snipped anal hairs]


> >
> > So, Kevin, you've been drinking again I see. Kinda lonely out there in
> > Wyoming, or whereever you are?
> >
>
> You're stalking him and you don't know where he is?

It's that I keep moving. I've been through seven states[1] and three
tropical islands in the months since this stalking started, and still
he finds me! A few days peace and boom! there he is again, usually
in disguise in hopes I'll fail to recognize him.

But I am not fooled! Once he was a blind panhandler in downtown
Denver; I offered a penny and he whipped out his penis, and I knew
it was time to leave.

I was visiting the San Diego zoo, and one of the monkeys threw
something disgusting and showed me his penis, and I knew it was
again time to move on.

At the Hawaiian luau the roast pig whipped out his penis and again
I knew I must go.


Kevin "It's everywhere! I can't stop seeing it!" Kelley


[1] Drunken, Buzzed, Hammered, Sloshed, Plastered, Blitzed, and
Happy.

Kevin Kelley

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Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:

...and I'll shoot down the NEXT spy satellite you stalkers and peepers
send my way, too!


Kevin "are from mars" Kelley

Fern-Seed

unread,
Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
Kevin Kelley wrote:
> ...and I'll shoot down the NEXT spy satellite you stalkers and peepers
> send my way, too!

I'm afraid to ask what you did with the last one.

Nobody Knows

unread,
Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to

Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote in message
news:gs0dOM9pctKaZ=fAN0dSS...@4ax.com...

> Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> said:
>
> > Nobody Knows wrote:
> > >
> > > Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...
> [snipped anal hairs]
> > >
> > > So, Kevin, you've been drinking again I see. Kinda lonely out there
in
> > > Wyoming, or whereever you are?
> > >
> >
> > You're stalking him and you don't know where he is?
>
> It's that I keep moving. I've been through seven states[1] and three
> tropical islands in the months since this stalking started, and still
> he finds me! A few days peace and boom! there he is again, usually
> in disguise in hopes I'll fail to recognize him.
>
> But I am not fooled! Once he was a blind panhandler in downtown
> Denver; I offered a penny and he whipped out his penis, and I knew
> it was time to leave.
>
> I was visiting the San Diego zoo, and one of the monkeys threw
> something disgusting and showed me his penis, and I knew it was
> again time to move on.
>
> At the Hawaiian luau the roast pig whipped out his penis and again
> I knew I must go.
>
>
> Kevin "It's everywhere! I can't stop seeing it!" Kelley

So you're saying you're obsessed with my penis?

Nobody Knows

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Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to

Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:381DE5E0...@usa.net...

> Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >
> > "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >
> > ...and I'll shoot down the NEXT spy satellite you stalkers and peepers
> > send my way, too!
>
> I'm afraid to ask what you did with the last one

...in bed.

Kevin Kelley

unread,
Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:

> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...


> >
> > Kevin "It's everywhere! I can't stop seeing it!" Kelley
>
> So you're saying you're obsessed with my penis?

No! I'm obsessed with _avoiding_ your penis. All this stalking
is frightening me, sensitive soul that I am.


Hey, did I ever tell y'all about the time[1] I met a girl that had
been one of the Plaster Casters[2]? Yeah, there's a few monuments
to my virility sitting perched on the mantles of various lovely and
lonely women, being taken down and baptized occasionally (proper care
of a plaster-of-paris penis: keep it wet).

Golly, that's a tender thought: "I can't stay, babe, but here's
something to remember me by." [3]


Kevin "yeah, I'm probably sitting right next to Jimi Hendrix" Kelley

[1] Probably not, since it never happened.

[2] Groupie group that made, well, plaster casts of the genitalia
of various rock stars.

[3] Hey, business opportunity! Sperm.com was taken, but how about
www.kevinspenis.com ? Wow, they'll be beating down the doors to
get one of those!


Kevin Kelley

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Nov 1, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/1/99
to
Fern-Seed <fiddl...@usa.net> said:

> Kevin Kelley wrote:
> >
> > "Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
> >

> > ...and I'll shoot down the NEXT spy satellite you stalkers and peepers
> > send my way, too!
>
> I'm afraid to ask what you did with the last one.

I keep it on the mantle, right next to my bust of Dejah Thoris.


Kevin "coming soon: mars-cam.com! watch your favourite martian
cavort with fictional heroine's bust!" Kelley

Daniel E. Macks

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Nov 4, 1999, 3:00:00 AM11/4/99
to
Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> said:
>"Nobody Knows" <nobloo...@aol.com> said:
>> Kevin Kelley <kel...@ruralnet.net> wrote...
>> >
>> > Kevin "It's everywhere! I can't stop seeing it!" Kelley
>>
>> So you're saying you're obsessed with my penis?
>
>No! I'm obsessed with _avoiding_ your penis. All this stalking
>is frightening me, sensitive soul that I am.

Your stalk is sensitive?

>Hey, did I ever tell y'all about the time[1] I met a girl that had
>been one of the Plaster Casters[2]? Yeah, there's a few monuments
>to my virility sitting perched on the mantles of various lovely and
>lonely women, being taken down and baptized occasionally (proper care
>of a plaster-of-paris penis: keep it wet).

I was the model for the one in _Clockwork_Orange_.

Cue crossover into weapon/gun/fucking/fun thread.

>Golly, that's a tender thought: "I can't stay, babe, but here's
>something to remember me by." [3]

[1-2] NMF


>[3] Hey, business opportunity! Sperm.com was taken, but how about
>www.kevinspenis.com ? Wow, they'll be beating down the doors to
>get one of those!

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies don't want to know
who's beating what

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