Major - Doug Grant’s FractalClump™ unveiled!
embas...@hotmail.com
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Weekly World News
Top Gambling Experts Form New Company to Assault Casinos
By R.U. Sirius
Gambling Newswire, Oct. 23, 1999, Atlantic City, NJ - The legalized
casino industry was dealt a severe blow today with the announcement
that two of the most feared expert gamblers/researchers in the world
have joined forces. Ron "Boris" Fitch and Doug Grant™ have formed
Fractals R Us Publishing™ and have simultaneously announced a
breakthrough in the development of winning systems for table games.
Grant, best known as the most successful winning blackjack player and
team organizer in the history of casino gaming has also been a tireless
champion against casino cheating and bogus sellers of worthless card-
counting systems. Fitch, who prefers to be called Boris, is the
developer of the top-rated blackjack simulation software of the same
name.
"Until now, players of blackjack and other table games were at the
mercy of a RICO conspiracy between the casinos and the pathetic conmen
system hustlers," says Grant, "this changes everything!" he gleefully
exclaims.
"I have found a worthy partner and a brilliant associate," proclaimed
Boris, "now will be the beginning of a new era in science-advantage
gambling!"
Unveiled at a press conference held at the Claridge Resort and Casino
on the beautiful Atlantic City Boardwalk was the new collaborative
FractalClump™ ‘RadiatingBias® blackjack system,’ a first ever focused-
distillation of the combined genius of the two brilliant game
strategists. "Counting doesn’t work, as I have emphasized for years,"
Grant continued, "the casino game of blackjack is non-linear, but thru
the relatively simple application of our patented fractal algorithm,
Fractalrithm® players can predetermine the winning table for play and
preset the amount that they desire to win."
"FractalClump™ is a most amazing discovery, and based upon the highest
universal pattern," Boris went on to elaborate, "it is unlike anything
ever devised for winning at casino table games and will have
devastating effects on the gaming industry even as it benefits mankind
as a whole."
Also present was Donald Trump, owner of The Claridge. "I am so excited
about what this will mean to the customers that play at my casinos that
I have decided to give the system to every player who stays at a Trump
resort." "Yes," the darling Donald continued, "our casinos will lose
money to every player who utilizes the easy to learn FractalClump™
system, BUT we will make it up in volume!" The ever-smiling Donald
proclaimed this new alignment with the noteworthy system scientists to
be "a huge victory and win-win-win for all involved - players, Trump
shareholders, and me of course."
Originally incorporated as 2+2=Uh? Publishing, the name was changed
last week to reflect the company's new direction.
Also present, and indicative of the huge collaborative effort that lead
to the fractal-gambling breakthrough, were the key board members of the
Fractals R Us Publishing™ unit, E. Clifton Davis, Ronald Dahl, David
Popik, and the chair of the company’s advisory board, Dr. Morton
Jacobs.
"The day of the FractalClumpers has arrived!" explains the company’s
press secretary, Thomas Bolick, as Boris and Grant hold each other's
hand high in a traditional victory stance to a bursting array of
photoflash.
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Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Scamford Wang
Harvey Jay Cohen
scamf...@aol.com (Scamford Wang) wrote:
-> This looks to me like a great big pile of fractal clump shit
DUH .. It was a fairly good piece of satire. For instance,
the "author" was "R. U. Serious" .. and so on ..
--
Harvey J. Cohen, Ph. D.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I
would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a
quiet place and kill him. -- Mark Twain
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"Oh, a sarcasm detector. Now there's a really useful invention!"
--Comic Book Store Guy on The Simpsons
blackja...@my-deja.com
hjc...@gte.net (Harvey Jay Cohen) wrote:
> In article <19991024100528...@ng-fp1.aol.com>,
> scamf...@aol.com (Scamford Wang) wrote:
>
> -> This looks to me like a great big pile of fractal clump shit
>
> fractal clumps exist as a useful gambling tool.
>
> Harvey J. Cohen,
>
Looks like Mr. Grant has got us at a disadvantage!!! We can't comment on
fractal clumping unless we know what it is. Yet we can't know what is
beyond entertainment unless we pay for a trip to Atlantic City. Oh well,
someone sooner or later will spill the beans. It's only a matter of
time!
GRslp223
>fractal clumping unless we know what it is
That's Ok. Doogie doesn't know what fractal clumping is either.