Badwater Bill's University for Women
Badwater Bill
Dr. Badwater Bill is a Board Certified Sexologist and self proclaimed
genius in feminology. His works are known worldwide and are
universally respected by Males throughout all societies (especially
pilots). Dr. Bill has counseled famous people such as Pope John, Bill
Clinton, the Angel Moroni and Madonna. The Badwater Bill University
was founded on the principle that all women are basically good and
this virtue needs to simply be "brought out." Dr. Bill was known for
great success in operating a two week obedience school for nasty wives
in the deep mountains of Montana. The school was operated in
conjunction with the Hell's Angels. It was guaranteed that any wife,
upon completion of the course, would "Bark like a Dog" on command,
upon their return to the home situation. He founded the Badwater Bill
University for Women in an attempt to offer rigorous training to young
brides and mothers in how to accept their fate. The following are a
few of the courses offered for the Associate Degree. A Bachelor
Degree, Master's program and even the Ph.D. are offered for the
serious student. Special independent study is available in an effort
to tailor courses to the individual. This is especially true for
women married to pilots.
Tuition is negotiable. Degrees are granted at the end of each year
with beautiful hand crafted diplomas mounted in oak. Courses are
conducted in beautiful Las Vegas Nevada during the cooler winter
months.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
WOM-A-(no credit) Learn the Parts Of the Airplane
WOM 101--Combating Female Stupidity
WOM 102--You, Too, Can Mow the Lawn
WOM 103--PMS-A Myth
WOM 104--He Wants Toys for Christmas (GPS is Nice, A Hangar is Best)
WOM 105-Learning Dope and Fabric Work
Winter Schedule:
WOM 110--Wonderful Rebuilding Techniques You Can Master
WOM 111--Understanding the Male Need of Getting in at 4 am
WOM 112--Parenting: It's Your Job!
EAT 100--Get a Life, Learn to Change The Airplane's Oil
EAT 101--Get a Life, Learn to Mow the Lawn
ECON 001A--What's Yours is Community Property, His Airplane is His
Spring Schedule:
WOM 120--How NOT to Act Like a Butt face When You Think You're Right
WOM 121--Understanding Your Inherent Weaknesses as a Woman
WOM 122--YOU, the Weaker Sex
WOM 123--Reasons to Bring Home a Case Of Bud and AeroShell 100
WOM 124-- He Will Always Be a Better Pilot
ECON 001B--His Airplane, Motorcycle and Truck are His
SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101--He Cannot Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102--Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Help it Out.
SEX 103--How Not to Get Crushed by Your Sleeping Mate, 30 Seconds
After Orgasm
ART 101--Learning to Appreciate the Lines of the Male Penis
WOM 201--How to Leave the Toilet Seat Up
Elective Courses--(See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
WOM 210--The Remote Control Airplanes: Great Christmas Gifts
WOM 211--How to Not Act Older than Your Mother
WOM 212--You, ARE the Designated Driver
WOM 213--Believe Me, You Don't Look Like Kathryn Zeta Jones
WOM 230A--Any Birthdays or Anniversaries Are Not Important '1'
ECON 001C-Build That Hangar, IT's An Investment
Spring Schedule:
WOM 220--Accepting F&*! In His Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
WOM 221--Any Birthdays or Anniversaries Are Not Important 2
WOM 222--Real MEN Never Ask for Directions
SEX 201--Thirty Minutes of His Begging is Insane, Give in Early
Wom 222a--He needs that Airplane For His Ego
Course Electives:
EAT 101--Cooking with Budweiser and Butter
EAT 102--MEN Don't Normally Use Eating Utensils
EAT 103--Burping and Belching-A Male Biological Need
WOM 231--Mothers-in-law, Hide Them
WOM 232--Really Listen To His Flying Stories, Don't Just Appear to
Be
SEX 233--Just Say, "Yes, Dear, You Can Do it Again If You Must"
WOM 235-Just Say, "Yes Dear, You Can Build That Hangar You Want."
ECON 001D--Cheaper to Keep Her
ECON 001E-Get that Lot on The Runway
WOM 104 - Emotions and You--Hide Them, He's not Interested!
WOM 105 - Accepting Responsibility - You Must…He Won't
WOM 106 - Women are Bitches-Try to Overcome Your Fate!
Nancy & Warren
significantly different. How many courses did she take
Bill?//
Warren
gyromike
O Great One,
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! You are my new hero!
GyroMike
www.geocities.com/gyromike
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
Dave Driscoll
>
> snip (sound that Boom Boom will be making with scissors soon)
>
To steal a line:
"God I love the smell of napalm in the morning ....."
You know I spend 2 months convincing the new girl that just because I
parked my plane in the middle of a four lane after taking out the
perimeter fence does not mean the rest of the flying crowd irresponsible
louts. And now due to the fact that I was laughing like a hiena now
she's just read the words of Bill. Yeah like I'll be getting help
sanding that fusalage soon (do you have any idea how big a f*&^%^&ng
Defiant is).
Well Bill I'll let you stay in my place after your eviction but you're
going to have to work for your keep (and stay away from the damn
computer)
Dave "soon to have a plane that will be sporting a wheel, singular"
J.D. GUINN
I have read with great interest your class shedule for my wife. She is
a mean, hateful, shameless, evil woman who believes that all airplanes
and men should be burned and will burn in hell for all eternity, and
considers sex to be work of the devil.
Therefore, I have placed her on a flight to Lost Wages on Amurkin
Airlins due in at 1930 hours your time for a full year of studies under
your personal tutilage. IF you survive the courses, I will pay your
price, unless you decide to pay me, of course, to bring her home early.
May God and Miss Geeter have mercy on your poor tortured soul.
P.S. She is bringing her own popsicle sticks and plastic bags.
OOOOPS, gotta go, she is coming in the door now!
J.D. Guinn
"Only two things are infinite----the universe and human stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the universe"
Albert Einstein
Mike Lund
Thank you for your extremely kind offer. My wife is now booked on a Royal
charter for LV (its a junket trip, but its cheap, and I can spend the extra
money on beer and cigars since there is no-one to complain). I will also be
forewarding my girlfriend via Fed-Ex within 48 hrs.
Please ensure the cirriculum for the 2 does not cross, otherwise I fear a
new module, OHS#IT101 may need to be added. I believe Mr. John Wayne Bobbit
would make an ideal instructor for this module, should it be required.
Also, If it is not too much trouble, might I ask if you offer a special
programm for wives and girlfriends of wooden aircraft builders. I would very
much like to see such topics as "STUP101-kickback does not involve money",
"PAIN102-Yes it's sharp, and you really should wait untill it stops before
you prove it to yourself" and finally, "HELP103-Drive yourself to get the
stitches and learn to listen"
Thank you again for your kind offer, and best of luck with your
endevour--you will need it
Soon to be Single.
Mike
Jake L. wrote in message <20000322195539...@ng-cb1.aol.com>...
>Dear Esteemed Dr. Badwater,
>
>I will have my wife on an AA flight headed west for LV tomorrow. I'll send
>confirmation of Flt# and arrival time (as if that would actually do any
good)
>as soon as possible. This is just the sort of thing weI have been looking
for.
> Having been married to me for 18 years, I'm confident she should be able
to
>test out of the first year courses with little difficulty.
>
>
>Jake L.
>To reply, delete vaccum
edt...@erols.com
edt...@erols.com
"J.D. GUINN" wrote:
> Therefore, I have placed her on a flight to Lost Wages on Amurkin
> Airlins
Jamie -- Given the nature of this thread, shouldn't that be "a merkin"
airlines?
David Levy
"Badwater Bill" <bill...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:38d91ccb....@news.earthlink.net...
>
> Dr. Badwater Bill is a Board Certified Sexologist and self proclaimed
> genius in feminology.
><snip>
Mike Lund
tonight ;-)
Mike
David Levy wrote in message <8bbsfp$r4o$1...@slb2.atl.mindspring.net>...
Ben Sego
Mike Lund wrote:
> Hell, I printed it out and gave my wife a copy..
So did I. She said, "This guy's an asshole."
"Yeah, seems like it," I said. "But maybe he'll take a credit card..."
J.D. GUINN
It's not Miss Geeter that I married, it was her sister, Satan.
Jake L.
Badwater Bill
GUINN) wrote:
>Dear D. Badwater Bill,
>I have read with great interest your class shedule for my wife. She is
>a mean, hateful, shameless, evil woman who believes that all airplanes
>and men should be burned and will burn in hell for all eternity, and
>considers sex to be work of the devil.
Sounds like Miss Geeter. Damn is she a bitch. I'd like to hog-tie
here and enroll her in my obedience school in the deep Montana
mountains. Poor Tommy Cooper is in fear of his life from that old
bag.
>Therefore, I have placed her on a flight to Lost Wages on Amurkin
>Airlins due in at 1930 hours your time for a full year of studies under
>your personal tutilage. IF you survive the courses, I will pay your
>price, unless you decide to pay me, of course, to bring her home early.
>May God and Miss Geeter have mercy on your poor tortured soul.
>P.S. She is bringing her own popsicle sticks and plastic bags.
>OOOOPS, gotta go, she is coming in the door now!
Jesus. Did she work for American? If so, please don't send her.
Doktor Bill
Badwater Bill
Dear Master Lamont:
I understand and I will have someone at the airport to greet her. In
cases like this, we always handcuff the spouse upon their deplaning
here in Vegas. I hope you have explained this to her. We don't like
scenes.
Sincerely,
Doktor Bill
Badwater Bill
wrote:
>Dear Sir:
>
>Thank you for your extremely kind offer. My wife is now booked on a Royal
>charter for LV (its a junket trip, but its cheap, and I can spend the extra
>money on beer and cigars since there is no-one to complain). I will also be
>forewarding my girlfriend via Fed-Ex within 48 hrs.
Dear Mr. Lund:
Just last week we had a "Husband's day" at the Las Vegas Country Club.
Two husbands were playing golf and ran up on two slow women from our
university. One man went ahead to ask if the women minded if they
played through. As soon as he saw their faces he didn't approach them
but instead turned and walked back to his playing buddy. The buddy
asked, "What's up." The first guys says, "Shit, I went up there and
it was my wife playing with my mistress. I had to turn around before
they saw me. Why don't you go try?" The buddy goes ahead to ask them
and turns quickly around too. When he got back to the previous hole
the first husband said, "What happened?" The man's reply was, "It's a
small world."
BWB
Jake L.
Vegas. I hope you have explained this to her.<
Explain, hell. The handcuffs will have already been taken care of on this end.
(She's actually in to that sort of stuff). Thanks for your kind offer, anyway.
Bob Urban
What 'B.S'. <g>
You are definitely our kind of scum.
BOb U.
John
I "shared" this with my wife. She thought it was really funny till she saw
me checking airline schedules.
I think I'll stay with my girlfriend (a pilot) until this whole thing goes
away.
Oh yeah, anything in the future about riveting?
John
Bob Urban wrote in message <38e2be8a...@netnews.worldnet.att.net>...
Bob Urban
>
>I "shared" this with my wife. She thought it was really funny till she saw
>me checking airline schedules.
>I think I'll stay with my girlfriend (a pilot) until this whole thing goes
>away.
>Oh yeah, anything in the future about riveting?
>John
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Don't mean to be nosey. John......
But what does your wife think/do about your pilot girlfriend?
Is this a friendly 'three way' or what?
If you have a an enviable answer for us, I'd like to send my wife over to you.
The hell with Badwater Bill... and his University for Women.
BOb - cash or credit card - U.
Mike Lund
owns both a bar and an airplane factory I will pay the tuition for ya and
you can send the kid to me.
Mind ya, I'd probably have to send HER to the school in a few years.
Mike
fran...@NOSPAM.ihug.co.nz wrote in message
<38DAC2B4...@whanganui.ac.nz>...
>Dear Doc Bill,
>
>Do you run any scholarship programs? It's just that those of us who live
>in (or on the edge of) the Third World can't afford fees in US$.
>
>Frank.
>(Perhaps you'd take a first-born in payment?)
fran...@nospam.ihug.co.nz
Richard B
Bill Phillips wrote:
>
> Dr. Badwater Bill is a Board Certified Sexologist and self proclaimed
> universally respected by Males throughout all societies (especially
> pilots).
Bill,
There are three evident possibilities:
"Boom-boom" isn't home.
or
"Boom -Boom" isn't reading over your shoulder,
OR
You are now sleeping on a cot in the garage, next to the dog. And the
dog has better accommodations.
Richard "Ever helpful" B.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
fran...@nospam.ihug.co.nz
> If that first-born is about 21,
13
> long blonde hair,
yup
> pops eyes in a bikini,
not yet.
> and owns both a bar and an airplane factory
Not yet. Actually, she's showing more interest in horses than planes :-)
> I will pay the tuition for ya and
> you can send the kid to me.
I'll put you down on the waiting list, shall I? Perhaps you could send
the cash now though?
> Mind ya, I'd probably have to send HER to the school in a few years.
Yeah, well... like mother, like daughter.
Frank.
John Ammeter
Actually, he's probably out in the chicken coop. The dog house is too
crowded with his two dogs now.
John Ammeter
1975 Jensen Healey
RV-6 (sold 4/98)
EAA Technical Counselor
NRA Life Member
ICQ#48819374
Badwater Bill
wrote:
>If that first-born is about 21, long blonde hair, pops eyes in a bikini, and
>owns both a bar and an airplane factory I will pay the tuition for ya and
>you can send the kid to me.
>
>Mind ya, I'd probably have to send HER to the school in a few years.
>
>Mike
Nice try Mike. As founder of the University, I'm able to waive
tuition for young model-types if the whim so manifests itself. Now,
who is this? Where does she live? How old is she?
I'm ashamed of myself! ;--)
BWB
Lee McGee
within reach of Bill either, so I am certainly empathetic to
the sentiments of that father of the 22-year-old.
If you ever have a fly in in Jean, though, I might bring her
on down to see first hand some of the antics of older men.
How does a 47-year-old guy like me get a 21-year-old girlfriend?
Easy. Be a liberal Democrat like I am. You become an
instant "babe magnet". Heck, I have to throw them back
sometimes!
RobertR237
(Badwater Bill) writes:
Bill,
As you well know, I am the father of a beautiful young lady of 22 who very well
fits the above description. I can tell you for certain that I wouldn't let her
withing a thousand miles of YOUR University for Women. I know beyond any
shadow of doubt that you have absolutely NO shame what-so-ever and never have
had, and never will have. You give a whole new meaning to the "DIRTY OLD MAN"
description. Now go crawl back into your hole before I tell BOOM-BOOM about
your feeble attempts to lure young women into you trap.
Bob Reed
http://robertr237.virtualave.net/ (KIS Project)
KIS Cruiser in progress...2001 Oshkosh Odessy ;-) (I can hope!)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and Slide on the
Ice!"
(M.A.S.H. Sidney Freidman)
Richard B
rober...@aol.compost (RobertR237) wrote:
> In article <38de2948...@NEWS.EARTHLINK.NET>,
bill...@Earthlink.net
about
> your feeble attempts to lure young women into you trap.
>
Richard B.
AAsberry
>>tuition for young model-types if the whim so manifests itself. Now,
>>who is this? Where does she live? How old is she?
>>
>>I'm ashamed of myself! ;--)
>>
>>
>>BWB
>>
>>
>
>Bill,
>
>As you well know, I am the father of a beautiful young lady of 22 who very
>well
>fits the above description. I can tell you for certain that I wouldn't let
>her
>withing a thousand miles of YOUR University for Women. I know beyond any
>shadow of doubt that you have absolutely NO shame what-so-ever and never have
>had, and never will have. You give a whole new meaning to the "DIRTY OLD
>MAN"
>your feeble attempts to lure young women into you trap.
>
>
>http://robertr237.virtualave.net/
Bob, I think she already knows. Didn't you see that post about Bill on his
knees praying at the foot of the bed. Thermo nuclear war, yeh right.
Praying or begging, the posture is the same. It depends entirely to whom the
requests are directed.
Andy - Prescription without diagnosis is malpractice. In medicine and
mechanics.
You know the true e-mail address.
Badwater Bill
<lee.mcge...@usa.net.invalid> wrote:
>I have a 21-year-old girlfriend and I would not let her
>within reach of Bill either, so I am certainly empathetic to
>the sentiments of that father of the 22-year-old.
>
>If you ever have a fly in in Jean, though, I might bring her
>on down to see first hand some of the antics of older men.
>
>How does a 47-year-old guy like me get a 21-year-old girlfriend?
>Easy. Be a liberal Democrat like I am. You become an
>instant "babe magnet". Heck, I have to throw them back
>sometimes!
Disgusting! I'm telling Miss Geeter on you. You are actually
competition and I don't like it. Stay on your side of the country!!!!
As for you Bob Reed. Your daughter should meet me. I"m that guy that
you have always been telling her about. The one to avoid at all costs.
The one who has only one thing in mind, a user of women and a danger
to all society! Wouldn't you like her to meet the person you have
been warning her about her whole life? Might be instructional......if
you get my drift!
BBBWWAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
BWB
Nancy & Warren
afraid that someone will show her all these post of yours?
That could lead to a BIG BOOM. ;-)
Warren
Mark Hickey
>How does a 47-year-old guy like me get a 21-year-old girlfriend?
>Easy. Be a liberal Democrat like I am. You become an
>instant "babe magnet". Heck, I have to throw them back
>sometimes!
Lemme guess... you are an elected official and she's an intern? ;-)
Mark Hickey
RobertR237
(Badwater Bill) writes:
>
>As for you Bob Reed. Your daughter should meet me. I"m that guy that
>you have always been telling her about. The one to avoid at all costs.
>The one who has only one thing in mind, a user of women and a danger
>to all society! Wouldn't you like her to meet the person you have
>been warning her about her whole life? Might be instructional......if
>you get my drift!
>
>BBBWWAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
>
>BWB
>
>
Hell Bill, We got plenty of Dirty Old Men right here in Texas for her to learn
from and they have been giving themselves heartattacks trying to teach her.
Hell, she walked into the lyons den the day she turned 18 and was considered
Legal Tender. Her mom taught her well though and she is very good at deflating
overblown egos. ;-)
RobertR237
Hickey) writes:
>
>>How does a 47-year-old guy like me get a 21-year-old girlfriend?
>>Easy. Be a liberal Democrat like I am. You become an
>>instant "babe magnet". Heck, I have to throw them back
>>sometimes!
>
>Lemme guess... you are an elected official and she's an intern? ;-)
>
>Mark Hickey
>
>
Ohhhhhh VERY GOOD!
tom c
>
>Nice try Mike. As founder of the University, I'm able to waive
>tuition for young model-types if the whim so manifests itself. Now,
>who is this? Where does she live? How old is she?
>
>I'm ashamed of myself! ;--)
>
>
>BWB
To the Dean BWB University for Women.
Dean Phillips,
I am interested in applying for a professorship at your esteemed
university. I have an extensive background in education teaching freshman
female Emergency Medical Technicians. I also have an extensive background in
working with all sorts of women. I have survived numerous rounds of radical
male bashing. I have a natural affinity for all women be they petite or
statuesque. I work with women daily / nightly. I believe I would be a fine
addition to your faculty.
Tom Cooper
Hephaestus
Lee McGee <lee.mcge...@usa.net.invalid> wrote in article
<08fe9da0...@usw-ex0105-036.remarq.com>...
> I have a 21-year-old girlfriend and I would not let her
> within reach of Bill either, so I am certainly empathetic to
> the sentiments of that father of the 22-year-old.
>
> If you ever have a fly in in Jean, though, I might bring her
> on down to see first hand some of the antics of older men.
>
> How does a 47-year-old guy like me get a 21-year-old girlfriend?
> Easy. Be a liberal Democrat like I am. You become an
> instant "babe magnet". Heck, I have to throw them back
> sometimes!
>
>
>
>
>
>
highflyer
>
> You said you were bringing Boom Boom to PJY. Aren't you
> afraid that someone will show her all these post of yours?
> That could lead to a BIG BOOM. ;-)
>
> Warren
Warren, I talked to Boom Boom just recently. I promised her that I
would have a dozen old feather pillows and a big barrel of TAR on the
burner for saturday night at the flyin! :-)
--
HighFlyer
Highflight Aviation Services
Badwater Bill
>To the Dean BWB University for Women.
>
>Dean Phillips,
>
> I am interested in applying for a professorship at your esteemed
>university. I have an extensive background in education teaching freshman
>female Emergency Medical Technicians. I also have an extensive background in
>working with all sorts of women. I have survived numerous rounds of radical
>male bashing. I have a natural affinity for all women be they petite or
>statuesque. I work with women daily / nightly. I believe I would be a fine
>addition to your faculty.
>Tom Cooper
Dear Mr. Cooper:
Although I personally would like you to become a member of our faculty
I'm sorry but I must decline your fine application. We received a
telephone call from the Pope this afternoon and were asked not to
consider you. It seems that you have enemies in high places. Pope
John Paul the xxx indicated there was a certain nun who knew you and
your past. I made a plea that you have changed and that you are a
solid spiritual pillar of the community; a person whom we needed
desperately to show young women the tenderness of sexology, the
passion of early love making and the necessity of worshiping the men
who fly.
BUTT,
a certain nun who wishes to remain nameless has required us to dismiss
your application in order for us to continue to receive funding from
the spiritual institutions from which we draw many of our most
dedicated students.
I personally contacted said nun. She informed me that she was capable
of flying without wings if necessary and we were not to entertain any
application from the likes of you Mr. Tommy Cooper.
Doktor Bill
Charles or Susan Pegram
>>
>>I will have my wife on an AA flight headed west for LV tomorrow. I'll send
>>confirmation of Flt# and arrival time (as if that would actually do any
>good)
>>as soon as possible. This is just the sort of thing weI have been looking
>for.
>> Having been married to me for 18 years, I'm confident she should be able to
>>test out of the first year courses with little difficulty.
>>
>>
>>Jake L.
>
>Dear Master Lamont:
>
>cases like this, we always handcuff the spouse upon their deplaning
>scenes.
>
>Sincerely,
>Doktor Bill
Was just rumaging through this NG when I spotted this. Can there possibly be
TWO Jake Lamonts? The one I know of is founder and occasional instigator at
the Formula Ford Underground which can be found at:
http://pub3.ezboard.com/bformulafordunderground
Jake, is this you?
C.P.