Surreal World pt 3 [fanfic][Ranma/UY/Nuku/Tenchi/SM/A!MG/KOR]

[RpM-acct2/5]

===============================================================================

=The Surreal World=

Writer: Rod M.
Story Concept: Isabel A. "Izzy-chan"
Advisory Board: The Fanfic ML
-M- Productions

PART 3
Watching You From Afar...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Daaaaarling? Where are you? Daaaarling?"
Lum flew over the skies of Tomobiki, constantly calling for her missing
"husband". She'd been doing just that for the past week, despite what he
had told her in his note. She remembered it well, but had considerable
doubts as to his actual condition and whereabouts.

==================================
Dearest Lum,

I shall be absent from you for
several months. Please, do not
worry or search for me. I am fine,
although I will miss you. Please,
do not look for me. Please.
I'm fine, really. Don't trouble
yourself. I mean it.

-Ataru
==================================

"C'mon, Lum, forget about that idiot. He always comes back, doesn't he?"
said Jariten.
"But what if he's kidnapped again?"
Ten smiled. "Everyone that ever kidnapped him ended up returning
him. You must admit this is true."
Lum sighed.

*

From below, The Gang of Four (otherwise known as Lum's Stormtroopers)
looked grimly up at the sky as Lum flew by, calling for her darling. Their
leader, Megane, appeared grave.
"Gentlemen, we face a serious dilemma."
The other three nodded solemnly.
"As you all know, the lecher and fool, Ataru Moroboshi, had
dissappeared several days ago."
He adjusted his glasses, for dramatic effect.
"Now, under the right circumstances, this would be a good thing.
However, and unfortunately, his existence is key to Lum's happiness."
Several troopers nodded gravely.
"So... as Lum's Stormtroopers, are we not sworn to keep her happy?"
"HAI!" They yelled as one.
"The problem we face then, as much as it disgusts me, is that we must
go out and..." he gritted his teeth, "and.... find Moroboshi!"
The trio gasped.
"But... but Ataru's finally out of the way!" protested Chiba.
"Yeah! Isn't that what we wanted?" added Perm.
"ENOUGH!" The light shone off of Megane's glasses in a menacing way.
"I know, I know, Ataru should die like the dog that he is. But until we
show Lum that he is unworthy of her affections, we must do this
distasteful deed."

The four of them hung their heads low.

"Well then... where shall we start?"

*

Keiichi and Belldandy sat on the front porch of their home, watching the
sun set. It was, undeniably, an extremely romantic moment. Keiichi was
fully aware of this, and hoped that Belldandy did too. He already had his
arm around her...
He opened his mouth to say something, when Belldandy turned to him and
spoke first.
"Keiichi..." She had a serious expression on her face. Keiichi wondered
what was on her mind. He didn't like it when she was worried about
something.
"Yes?"
"Keiichi, have you seen Urd around?" asked Belldandy.
That wasn't exactly what he hoped to hear, but...
"Now that you mention it, no. Not for a while."
Even when she's not around, thougth Keiichi, Urd managed to stir a little
trouble.

*

Soun and Genma sat, enjoying the sunlight and a cold beer after yet
another grand lunch by Kasumi.
"Y'know, Saotome, it's been absolutely peaceful since Ranma left."
"Yes, that ingrate son of mine has finally done something right."
"No more holes in the dojo..."
"No more loud arguments..."
"Perhaps their time apart will bring those children of ours closer
together?"
"Mmm. Possibly."

They sat in silence.

"Say, Saotome, don't panic, but..."
"Panic? What for, Tendo?"
"... what if your wife watches the show?"

The silence resumed.

"I don't think that'll be a problem, Tendo."
"Oh? And why's that?"
"She never was much of a tv person."
"So you think everything will be fine?"
"Absolutely!"

*

Ukyo was worried.
She hadn't seen Ranma for several days.
She was afraid that Akane's cooking had finally caught up to him.
Ukyo had searched high and low, spied on the Nekohanten, the Kuno
compound, and the Tendo residence, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
As she approaced the Tendo home once more, she sighed, not liking what
she had to do next.

*

There was a knock at her door.
"Come in."
Ukyo walked in, looking uneasy. "Um, hi. I need to find out
something..."
Nabiki smiled. "Where's Ranma?"
"Um, yeah, I was about to ask you that..."
"Well, for a small fee of, say, 1500 yen, I'll let you see him."
"Hey, what do you mean 'let me see him'?" Ukyo didn't like the sound
of this at all.
"Do you or do you not want to see him again?"
Ukyo hesitated. What was Nabiki up to?
"What did you do to him?"
"_I_ didn't do anything to him. He did this to himself."
He did this to himself? What was that supposed to mean?
"Okay, fine, here's the 1500. Now where is he?"
"You've got cable television at your restaurant, right?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Do you or don't you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Good. I'll see you at six then..."

*

Ukyo looked at the crowd assembled in her restaurant. Nabiki was
there, as expected. The rest of the Tendo household was there as well,
including Soun and Panda-Genma.
//HI THERE!// his sign said.
Somehow, Ryoga was there. She figured he must have followed the Tendos.
She felt very uncomfortable about Shampoo being there. Of course, Mousse
tagged along, and him she didn't mind. She actually felt sorry for him,
being obsessed with a girl that beat his brains out regularly.
She really didn't like the Kunos being there. Nobody really did.

"Hey! Nabiki! What's with the crowd?"

"Oh, them? They paid too."

Ukyo opened her mouth to protest, but Nabiki cut her off, "I don't
think I specifically said you were going to see him _alone_, right?"

She sighed in defeat. "Okay, fine. Just make sure they don't tear down
the house, okay?"

"I've got some insurance policies that you may want..."

"Never mind."

Nabiki went to the store television and angled it so that everyone had
a fair view. "People, people, settle down."

Then she changed the channel....

*

The editor watched in darkness, with the images flickering and reflecting
off of his glasses.
One figure off to the side said, "It's time."
The chairman smiled.

"Let's see it."

*

The gang of six (It would've been seven, if Mamoru had ever stuck around)
sat in the living room, watching the large screen television with interest.
"Hey, this is the night," said Ataru.
"I'm kinda nervous," said Kyosuke, "I hope I look alright."
"You'll be fine," said Urd, briefly patting him on the head. He blushed
rather violently at that.
"Yay! Nuku-Nuku's gonna be on tv!" cheered the happy cyborg cat.
"I wonder what the guys'll think," muttered Ranma.
Washu sat in the back, taking notes.

Mamoru Chiba was out there somewhere saving the world, but nobody
here cared.

*

airtime

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
NARRATOR: "This is the story..."

TITLE: This is the story...

NAR: "... of seven ordinary people..."

CAMERA: Group photo. Ataru in the middle with his hands in a "V" sign.
Ranma barely visible behind him. Urd to the left, smiling and
waving. Washu examining something on the floor. Nuku sitting
and waving happily. Kyosuke looking uncomfortable next to Urd.
Mamoru trying to sneak off in the back.

NAR: "... picked at random to live in a house..."

CAMERA: show house at various angles, at one point with an Ataru-shaped
hole in it.

NAR: "... to find out what happens when people stop acting scripted..."

CAMERA: Nuku-Nuku chases a mouse around.
Mamoru runs into the yard from his window wearing a tuxedo.
Madoka hits Ataru with a mean right hook.
Ranma says no while Kyosuke points to a sink full of dishes
soaking in water.

NAR: "... and start acting real..."

TITLE: *THE REAL WORLD: TOKYO*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

*

A director smirked. "Ordinary people?" he asked sarcastically.
He looked to the production crew, seated nearby.

"Hey, don't look at us, blame the writers."

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAMERA: The view is moving, as if the cameraman is unsure of what
is going on. The view slowly goes towards a downstairs room.
The door opens slowly and reveals...

A young man, in his early twenties, frantically unpacking
his belongings. He notices the camera and says...

MAMORU: Um... hi.

(The door slams shut)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Washu looked at the man curiously. "Hey, who's that?" she asked.
"Him? Mamoru Chiba," answered Kyosuke.
"Never does stick around too long, does he," observed Urd.
"Who else hasn't seen him?" asked Kyosuke.
"Me," said Ranma, Nuku, and Ataru.
"Oh, good," said Washu, "I'm not alone."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAMERA: fades in on a view from an upstairs window. It shows a taxi
pulling up to the front of the house. A somewhat shy looking
teen in Jeans and a t-shirt emerges, pulling some luggage with
him. The cab drives off.

He looks up at the house in awe, as if realizing that he's
leaving behind everything familiar and entering something
totally alien and new.

He takes a deep breath and smiles.

He walks towards the door, slowly, and then dissapears from view.

(change view to camera rigged above outside doorway)

CAMERA: The young man almost reaches to the door when the other gentleman
from earlier opens it instead, breezing by him and shutting the
door before he can reach it. The young man just stands there,
puzzled. He blinks, shrugs, and proceeds to knock on the door.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: camera focuses on young man sitting on a bed in an empty room.
KYOSUKE: Hi, um... I'm Kasuga Kyosuke. I'm from a small town just
outside of Tokyo.

Er... well... I've got two sisters, and my dad too.
My mom passed away a long time ago.

Anyways, I'm here to do something a little different from the usual
for the summer, I guess.

Oh yeah... can I say hi to a few people?
Really? Thanks.

Hi Kurumi, Manami! Hi dad!

(Sound of knocking)

Hey, I think one of the other guys is here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Mobile Camera following Ataru into the house, into the living room...)
ATARU: So do I go ahead and pick a room?
KYOSUKE: Well, I guess so.

(Ataru goes upstairs, enters the room immeditately to the left)

ATARU: Hm... nice room, big window, access to the roof...

(Ataru opens the window and climbs out of it)

KYOSUKE: Um, what are you doing?
ATARU: Testing the escape route.
KYOSUKE: Escape route?
ATARU: Yup, I need an escape route. Doesn't everybody?
Actually, this is the first time I'm using the roof...
I think she's getting used to the front door escape
by now anyways.
KYOSUKE: She?
ATARU: (blinks) Ah... don't worry about it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAMERA: (the cameraman is obviously struggling to haul the camera to the
roof, where Ataru is checking out the environment.)
ATARU: (walking around) Hm... lotsa room, good good good.
CAMERA: turns back down to the window where they came from.
Kyosuke is sticking his head out of it, and looks nervous.
KYOSUKE: Are you serious?
ATARU: (putting on a serious face. The camera angle captures him with
the sun behind him, creating a stunning visual effect. Ataru
looks and sounds honorable and serious. He closes his eyes
and brings a fist up to his side.)

I, Ataru Moroboshi, lead the life of a true Casanova. Women
adore me, men envy me, and thus I find the need to plan for any
circumstances, else I may be caught by envious husbands or
overly-possesive women.

(Dramatic music inserted here.)

KYOSUKE: (who looks not impressed) Nice speech.
ATARU: (Grins) Thank you! I've been working on that one.
(Looks around, seemingly satisfied) I notice that there's no
cameras up on the roof. Good. Let's get outta here, I'm
thirsty.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*

The executive director raised an eyebrow. He grabbed a pen
and paper, and scribbled down a quick note:

//Install camera on roof//

*

Shutaro Mendo had a pretty good week.
His grades were well, he hadn't been trapped inside any small dark
spaces in a while, his sister hadn't pulled any pranks yet, and most of
all, Ataru Moroboshi had disappeared.
Of course, many people suspected _him_ of some foul play.
It was true that he was tempted to call upon the force of the entire
Mendo armed forces against Moroboshi, but with the luck that fool had,
something disastrous just might happen.
Mendo sat on his couch and reached for the remote. He felt that there
must be _something_ on television that would be amusing. They just added
fifty channels to the list of stations they would be receiving, and with
over one hundred and seventy stations to pick from...

*click*

Movie. Saw it already.

*click*

Another movie he already saw. Good one, though.

*click*

//And that ends today's Squid Care//
Damn, he thought, I didn't know there was a show dedicated to squids.
Must catch it tomorrow.

*click*

This was smut. Plain and simple. Gratuitous Nudity a-plenty.
Hah, thought Mendo, this is the sort of trash Moroboshi would watch.

He watched it for a couple of minutes.

*click*

The television showed a man, caught with the sun at his back. His
features weren't visible, only his outline.

//Women adore me, men envy me,//

That voice...

//and thus I find the need to plan for any circumstances//

It couldn't be...

//else I may be caught by envious husbands or overly-possesive women.//

The camera zoomed in dramatically as music started playing. Mendo
stared in disbelief, then anger.

"MO-RO-BO-SHIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!"

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Camera is aimed at a lounging Ataru holding a bottle of soda. He's
definitely in a relaxed mood.)

ATARU: Anyways, for all you people out there, I'm Moroboshi Ataru. You
might remember me as the guy that *ahem* saved the earth from those
_nasty_ alien invaders.
KYOSUKE: That was you?
ATARU: (grins) Yup. Anyways, I hope to meet the fair women of this fine
town and see what this place has to offer.
KYOSUKE: (Looks at Ataru, as if examining him) You ever heard of a guy
named Komatsu? Or maybe Hatta?
ATARU: Hm... sounds familiar.

(The doorbell rings)

KYOSUKE: I'll get it.
ATARU: Fine by me. (Looks to the camera.) So, this'll be a show
limited to cable? Good. There's one or two people I'd rather
not have find out about this place.

(Footsteps come from off camera)

ATARU: (His eyes go somewhat wide. His grin becomes lecherous.
He gets up and out of camera range.)
Well, hello there! Allow me to introduce myself! I am
Ataru Moro-

*SLAP*

WOMAN'S VOICE: Watch your hands, pervert.
ATARU: (from off camera) What? That was just an accident!
Come, have a seat over here....
WV: (Off camera) EEK! Hey, dammit, that's it!

*POW*

(Ataru is suddenly flung back into the couch, with a busted lip. He
tries to get up but an ash tray smacks him in the head. He's out cold.
The woman gets into camera range. She's young and beautiful, with
long black hair.)

WOMAN: Oh, is this thing on?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: Living room, brightly lit with white wall backgrounds. The camera
focuses on Madoka holding her sax.

MADOKA: This is really gonna be shown on tv?

(slight pause)

MADOKA: Oh. Well... I'm Madoka Ayukawa. I'm from out of town, just came
along to help my friend over there settled in. Anyways, I also play
the saxaphone. Maybe I'll make a living from it. I dunno.

(Ataru wakes up...)

ATARU: Ah... hey, babe, still here?

(Madoka cracks her knuckles...)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*

Mendo fumed. Damn that Moroboshi! First getting Lum, then the class
presidency, then mocking him at every turn, and now this!

And that girl... was definitely cute.

Shutaro blinked and then focused on the matter at hand. He picked up his
cellular phone. "This is Shutaro. Here are your orders..."

*

Meanwhile, at Ucchan's, a large crowd was watching, spellbound, as one of
amongst them became a part of tv history.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE: The couch. Ranma is sitting alone. The camera focuses only on
him. He's definitely nervous.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reaction from the girls was immediate and fairly predictable.

"Oh wow, Ranchan's on TV!"
"Aiy-yah! Airen will be famous!"
"That pervert better not fool around over there..."

The boys, however, underwent several thought processes.

Take for example, Tatewaki Kuno:

-THAT FIEND! How dare he pollute the airwaves with his visage!
-The scoundrel knows no bounds!
-I shall vanquish him once and for all!
-Where is he?
-He's obviously not here.
-He's gone.
-Wait.
-HE is GONE.
-Then... that means... that means.... what?
-THAT MEANS AKANE TENDO IS FINALLY ALONE!
-Wait...
-DON'T FORGET THE PIGTAILED GIRL!

At this point, Kuno had suddenly burst into maniacal laughter. Since
he had been silent for several moments before, it looked very much like
Kuno had gone mad.

Ryoga, on the other hand, managed to realize the situation more
quickly...

-Damn him! How dare he run away and not face me!
-Where is he, anyways...
-Wait! He's left Akane all alone here! And that means... YES!

Mousse had a unique perspective on the proceedings.

-What's everyone looking at? All I see is a blur on the television screen.

Nabiki grinned. There was profit in the air. Nobody knew where the
place was located, and the station wouldn't tell either. HOWEVER, there
were plenty of clues for her to see, and she'd have his location pinned
down in a matter of episodes...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RANMA: Um, this is gonna be on television, eh?
But what's the show about? Just us?
... you're kidding, right?
Kinda strange show, isn't it? Who came up with this idea?
Oh, an AMERICAN show. No wonder...
I'm, um...
ATARU: (from out of camera range) Nervous?
RANMA: Who's nervous?! I'm Ranma Saotome. I'm a high school student and a
student of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

(brief pause)

ATARU: (from behind the camera) That's it?
RANMA: Well, yeah.

(Ataru plops down into view, sitting next to Ranma)

ATARU: Hey, you ain't telling them about your harem?
RANMA: What?!?!
ATARU: Your HAREM. Your collection of women.
RANMA: SHUT UP! It ain't like that!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

The girls blinked.

------------------------------------------------------------------
ATARU: (to the camera) Well, he's got these four girls chasing after
him, and he's already engaged to three of them!
RANMA: (muttering) oh god Akane is gonna kill me. Shut UP Ataru...
------------------------------------------------------------------

Akane blushed. The other fiancees gave her the Glance of Daggers.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
ATARU: And he ain't letting go of any of them! Isn't that selfish?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

All the girls gave Ranma the Icy Stare of Death.

Ryoga muttered, "Isn't it the truth?"
Mousse yelled, "Saotome that CAD!"
Kuno roared, "THAT DANKISH BEEF-WITTED PUTTOCK!!!"

For a brief, brief moment, everyone glanced awkwardly at Kuno,
then everyone returned to fuming.

Genma held up a sign that read, //THAT INGRATE SON OF MINE!//
Soun was, well, sobbing. Specifically, it was sob number 412, which,
when roughly translated, means My Future Son In Law Is Betraying Me Before
Millions Of People. (Thus far, Soun had 500+ different wails, each with
its own particular significance.)
Cologne sighed. She knew exactly what was happening, which was
someone verbally twisting Ranma around badly. This sort of thing
happened a lot, she was used to it, and she knew trouble when she
saw it. All this hostility aimed at son-in-law was not a good thing.

Somewhere out there, Ranma shivered. Fortunately, the show was
pre-recorded, so the Ranma on screen continued regularly...

---------------------------------------------------------------------
ATARU: C'mon, Ranma, gimmie just one? How about that Shampoo girl?
RANMA: No!
ATARU: Maybe Ukyo?
RANMA: NO!
ATARU: See what I mean? He's hoarding the women.
RANMA: ATARUUUU!!!!

(Ranma's eyes get that murderous look, he lunges for Ataru's neck.)

ATARU: Whoops! Seeya later! (Dodges Ranma's fist and runs out of camera
view. Ranma chases after....)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi were emitting enough ki-power
to kill Ranma several times over. In fact, that's what they were
thinking about.

"Me? Part of a harem? Ranchan's got a lot of explaining to do..."
"Shampoo no share Ranma! Husband die if he think like that!"
"That... that....," started Akane.
Nabiki _really_ wished that she had someone to bet with at that
moment. Why? She knew exactly what was coming next, and the
odds of it being any different were small. "Pervert," she muttered.
"... THAT PERVERT!" yelled Akane.

Nabiki briefly wondered how much Ranma would pay for his
safety. The way things were now, his new residence would be in
ruins within a month, that is, if they found it...

Now there was an idea...

*

As Keiichi, Belldandy, and Skuld sat in their living room, curiosity
demanded that Keiichi ask Skuld a question.
"Um... Skuld, what's that?"
"What's what?"
"That." He pointed to the large, high-tech, and possibly dangerous device
that had replaced the antenna. It was... undescribable, really. Just a really
big device with lots of metal and bits sticking out of it sitting on top of the
television.
"Oh, that's the new antenna."
"What was wrong with the old one?" he asked.
"What was wrong? Do you know how many channels you're NOT getting?" Skuld
stood up and marched over to the television. She proudly stood next to it and
started fiddling with some things on the large undescribable antenna.
Without bothering to look at the screen, Skuld flicked from channel to
channel. "See?" she said, as the number on a large LED indicator read '140'.
"Look at all these channels!"
-click-click-click-click-click-
"Skuld, have you seen Urd lately?" asked Belldandy.
"Her? -click- No -click-, not in -click- a while, -click- really,
-click- GAH!"

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Camera is aimed at Urd, sitting on the couch. She's relaxed.)

URD: I'm Urd. Just Urd. My job? Um... relationship counselor.
Anyways, I thought it'd be interesting being on a tv show.
KYOSUKE: (off camera) Hey, what'd you do to Ataru?
RANMA: (off camera) Yeah, he's out cold.

(Camera swings to the front door. Ataru is on the floor, out cold.)
(Camera swings back to Urd.)

URD: Oh, um, pressure points.
KYOSUKE: Ah.
RANMA: Your name is Urd? Strange name, ain't it?
URD: It's Norwegian.
KYOSUKE: Oh, that explains it then.
URD: Explains what?
KYOSUKE: You looked kinda foreign.
URD: (grins) I hear that a lot. What's with the guy in the kuroko
outfit and the camera?
KYOSUKE: He's the camera man. We have to ignore him. It's part of the
policy.
URD: (looks at the camera thoughtfully, then shrugs)
Right. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll get unpacked.

(Urd gets up, walking by the camera. She can't resist but wave
and smile as she goes by.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*

From the television screen, a familiar face was waving and smiling at them.
"Urd?" Keiichi knocked on the television screen. "Hello?"
"Um, Keiichi, Urd can't..." started Belldandy.
-knock-knock-knock- "Urd! Can you hear me?"
"Keiichi, she can't hear you." said Belldandy.
Unnoticed by all, Skuld pulled out a massive book from nowhere
and started searching through it.
"Oh? Why not? Is something wrong with her?"
Belldandy hoped this news wouldn't upset Keiichi too much. "Well..."
"That's not just Urd. That's Urd on a TV show," interrupted Skuld, as
she peered at the book.
"WHAT?"
The TV Urd disappeared and a commercial break started.
"Says right here, on the TV Guide." She handed him the book, which was
in fact a rather thick tv guide that listed all the shows for the week in
several countries. He was about to ask how she got it, but thought better of
it and just read where she pointed.
"She... she's part of a TV show? Oh boy." Keiichi was worried, deeply
worried. He didn't want Belldandy's true identity to be revealed. But with
Urd on tv all over Japan...
"Don't worry, we'll talk to her," said Belldandy calmly.
"Darn right we will," said Skuld, grinning. She mildly enjoyed antagonizing
her eldest sister.

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(camera is aimed at Nuku-Nuku, who's looking quite cheerful. She's sitting
on the couch, with Ataru to her left and Ranma and Kyosuke to her right.)

RANMA: So go ahead and pick a room. There's plenty upstairs and downstairs
still empty.
NUKU: (looks thoughtful) I guess I want an upstairs one. I like to go
to the roof a lot.
ATARU: You too? What a coincidence! In fact, your bedroom will probbably
be next to mine!
KYOSUKE: (muttering) He's worse than Komatsu and Hatta...
NUKU: (suddenly noticing someting in the background) A MOUSE!!! YAY!!!
(she sprints off after it, like any cat would. The three boys look
at her strangely. Ranma shivers a bit.)
KYOSUKE: Well, I have no idea what to say about that.
RANMA: Man, that's creepy.
ATARU: Maybe if I buy her some catnip... (Ranma stomps on Ataru's foot)
OW! Hey! What's the big idea?!?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the Love Interests of Ranma corner, the thoughts turned from
Ranma Will Not Have A Harem! to Who's This Girl That Ranma's Being So
Protective About?
Shampoo examined Nuku with a fighter's eye. She didn't look like
a match for Shampoo, so if worse came to worse Shampoo could just kill.
Kodachi was, not surprisingly, thinking along the same lines.
Ukyo firmly believed she was cuter than this Nuku-Nuku.
Akane was fuming.

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(camera is on a door on a wall. Ranma, Ataru, and Kyosuke are looking at it
curiously.)

RANMA: I'm just checking with you guys, but there _wasn't_ a door here
before, was there?
KYOSUKE: I don't think so.
ATARU: Hm. Most ominous. (the two look at Ataru strangely.)
Eh. Sorry guys, I guess I've been hanging around monks too much.
KYOSUKE: Monks?
ATARU: Small monk. Long story. I'll tell ya later.
KYOSUKE: So.... open it.
ATARU: Who, me?
RANMA: Jeez, you cowards, I'll open it. Uh... wait a minute, there's no
doorknob.
ATARU: Very ominous.
RANMA: CUT THAT OUT!

(Suddenly the door opens. The three freeze. What appears to be a twelve
year old girl with really spiky red hair sticks her head out the door.)

GIRL: QUIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!

(Door slams shut. The three have stumbled back, looking very dazed.)

ATARU: Gah, my ears!!
RANMA: What?!
KYOSUKE: What's that?!
ATARU: What'd you say?!
RANMA: Can't hear ya! I think something's wrong with my ears!
KYOSUKE: What's that?! I can't hear you!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Camera is on the door. The boys are about to walk away when the door opens
again. They cringe and cover their ears. A young woman emerges, with
spikey red hair.)

WOMAN: Sorry about before, I guess introductions are in order, yes?
ATARU: (finally turning around and lowering his hands) Ah, yes, well,
beautiful women are always right. Allow me to introduce myself
first. I am Ataru Moroboshi, currently single. Wanna date?
WOMAN: (squints as she looks at Ataru.) Say, you're engaged to Princess
Lum of the Oni Empire, aren't you?
ATARU: (Pauses and looks at her warily) Hey, you're not a... no... I don't see
any horns...
WOMAN: I am Washu, one of the greatest scientific minds of the universe!

(The three boys aren't sure how to react to that, so they don't.)

ATARU: (grins) So you're from space. Howzabout you give me a tour?
WASHU: (Frowns irritably) Maybe later. Now if you'll excuse me, I've
got work to do. (She goes back into her room.)
ATARU: Hey, wait a minute! (He zooms into her room before anyone can
stop him or close the door. The door shuts afterwards.)
RANMA: We're living with an alien. I can deal with that.
KYOSUKE: And I thought life would be kinda normal around here.
RANMA: You too?

(The door opens. Ataru zooms out, looking like he was thrown out, and he
sails off-camera.)

KYOSUKE: Well, it looks like Washu can take care of herself.
RANMA: Yeah, but who was that little girl?
KYOSUKE: Little sister maybe?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ataru looked at Washu, who was at the moment in her usual young girl
form. "Hey, where's that other girl?" he asked.
"What other girl?" she asked.
"Looks like your older sister," said Ataru.
"Like this?" asked Washu, as she suddenly became ten years older and
alot more shapely.
"Hey babe!" *WHAM*
"I swear, we should neuter this boy," muttered Urd.

*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(camera is aimed at Urd, who's sitting on the couch, eating potato chips,
and watching television. Nuku-Nuku walks behind the couch, notices Urd,
and walks up behind her.)

NUKU-NUKU: Hi there!
URD: (surprised and spilling potato chips) Gaaaah! (Looks at
Nuku-Nuku) Oh, hi there. You one of the live-ins here?
NUKU-NUKU: (still rather cheerful) Yup. I'm Nuku-Nuku.
URD: (Looks at Nuku-Nuku carefully, then scratches Nuku's
hair) Nice kitty. (Nuku is reacting very much like a cat
would) I'll getcha some salmon later.
NUKU-NUKU: Really? Thanks! (looks at the camera strangely)
Why's that man dressed up like that?
URD: The guy in black? Just ignore him. Everyone else does.
NUKU-NUKU: Oh, okay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*

A somewhat haggard and scrawny figure sat in front of the television
screen, feeling proud that his 'daughter' was on television. So far,
everything had gone fine.
"Hey dad, was this really a good idea, putting her on tv?"
"Don't worry about it, Ryuunosuke!" Kyuusaku said confidently.
On the screen, Nuku Nuku was talking with a beatiful white-haired lady.

//Nice kitty... I'll give you some salmon later//

Kyuusaku's eyes bulged. "Nice kitty???"

//Really? Thanks!///

The cigarette dropped out of his mouth.
"Um, dad," said Ryuunosuke.
"Eh?"
"I think there's a problem."
"Hm. Well... No, not to worry."
"But what if they find out she's a cyborg?"
I've given Nuku Nuku an excuse for her cybernetic parts. It'll work out."
"You think they'll believe it?"
Kyuusaku shrugged.

*

--------------------------------------------------------------------
CAMERA: Shows Ataru and Kyosuke sitting in the living room watching
tv and taking full advantage of the extra fluffy cushons.
KYOSUKE: Wow... these things are great...
ATARU: So, you're the only one to have seen this... Mamoru guy, eh?
KYOSUKE: Not much to say, really. He just rushed out of the house...
ATARU: No words?
KYOSUKE: Ah... I think he said "Excuse me" before he ran off.
ATARU: (Looks at the cameraman) Oy! Who's this Chiba guy?!

{view flickers, like someone cut out a scene}
---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Damn cameraman forgot the rules," muttered the editor.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
{view flickers, like someone cut out a scene}

ATARU: So, some rich kid, eh? I get away from Mendo and now this...
KYOSUKE: Um, Ataru... what are you...
ATARU: (Grinning) hey, don't worry about it, I know how to deal with
these rich spoiled types.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CAMERA: Late at night. It's dark. First view is of the front
lawn, where Mamoru staggers towards the door, looking
like he's had a rough day.
CAMERA: switch view to doorway, where he fumbles around and
digs out a key. He wearily opens the door, and trudges
inside.
CAMERA: switch to hallway, where Mamoru trudges slowly towards
his door. He opens it...

*SPLASH*

and is nailed by a bucket of water that was balanced there...

MAMORU: HEY!

(in the distance, a distinctive chuckling can be heard...)

CAMERA: fade to black.... roll credits

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In the Abcd cafe, Madoka frowned.
"Madoka-san, you were on tv!" said a rather peppy Hikaru.
"Yeah..."
"Why do you look sad?"
"They cut my saxaphone solo..."

*

At the Tendo Dojo...

Nabiki was in full business mode, grinning wickedly,
eyeing each person as if they were a bag of yen, estimating
possible profits, and feeling happy.

Nabiki was alright. She had a _plan_

"So, ladies, I have a business deal for you."
"What's it this time, Nabiki?"
"Mercenary girl better not overcharge like last time!"
"Ohohohoho! You'd best make this reasonable, Tendo."
Nabiki looked confidently at the female furies assembled before her.
They had lots of fighting ability, but she knew she could con them all
into hell.
"What I'm offering, is what you all want to know." Actually, Nabiki
knew what they wanted to know, and this wasn't exactly it. BUT it was the
next-best thing.

*

*RIING*RIING*RIING*
Ataru stuck his head out the door and yelled "Hey, Saotome, get that,
will ya?"
Ranma got up from the couch, mumbling something about lazy housemates,
and picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
//Airen! Surprise!//
"Um... er... Shampoo! What a .... surprise!" Ranma stuttered. He
didn't look happy, but he managed to sound like it.
//Shampoo so happy!//
"Um, you ain't visiting, or nothing, right?"
//Good idea, Ranma! You tell Shampoo where you are, yes?//
Ranma went pale. "Um, Shampoo, look, I gotta, go. Someone else needs to
use the phone, okay?"
//Airen! Wait! Sham-// *CLICK*
Ranma hung up the phone in relief.

*

*RIIING*RIING*RIING*RII-
"Hello?"
//Ranchan? Is that really you?//
"Hey! Ucchan! Nice to hear from ya!"
//So, how's life for the big tv star?//
"C'mon, it's not like I'm famous or nothin..."
//Hey, you never know, you just might get a fan club!//
"Yeah, just what I need, an army of women after me!"
Ukyo and Ranma laughed together briefly.
"Heh, yeah, I never thought about that... "
//So, have you avoided your... problem so far?//
"Problem?"
//With water.//
"Oh! That! Yeah, so far."
//Just think what'll happen if that Moroboshi guy found out, eh?//
"That isn't even funny."
//Hey, what's with that Chiba guy?//
"The one that's never around?"
//Bingo.//
"We don't know. He sleeps, he leaves, he comes back late at night. That's
about all we can say, really."
//Heh. Leaving one pack of weirdos and jumping in with a new set, huh?"
"Seems like it."
//Um, Ranchan, what, may I ask, is going on with you and that Nuku girl?//
"What? Nothing!"
//You seem kinda protective of her.// Ukyo's voice had uncertainty in it.
"Hey! There's nothing going on, I swear!"
There was silence.
//Alright, I believe you.//
"Anyways, what's going on back there?"
//Oh, nothing much. Business is higher with the tourist season
starting, and your folks are doing just fine. Oh yeah, I guess I'd
better warn ya, Nabiki is hunting down your location.//
"Aw man, that's the last thing I need. Kodachi and Shampoo dropping
by here."
//Hey, um, Ranchan, can I ask you a question?//
"Sure."
//Where the heck are you, anyways?//
Ranma glanced at Ataru, who seemed to always be nearby somehow. He
definitely didn't want Ucchan meeting Ataru.
"Um, Ucchan, I don't think that's a good idea. Some of my housemates
are... a bit strange."
"Hey!" yelled Ataru.
//C'mon, Ranchan, please?//
"Look, Ucchan, trust me on this, please?"
Ukyo signed.
//Alright..//
"Good, trust me, it ain't safe here."
Nearby, Ataru was looking slightly insulted.
//Hey, lemme ask you something.//
"Yeah?"
//What's with this damn harem business, huh?"
"Wha..."
//We all heard it, now what's the deal? You can't keep us all,
y'know!//
"It ain't like that! Dammit, I-"
//Well, if it ain't like that, then pick.//
"What?"
//You heard me, go ahead and pick a fiancee.// Ukyo's tone suggested
a promise of violence if she didn't like the answer.
"Ah... er... " stammered Ranma. He briefly clicked the reset button.
"Um, gosh Ukyo, there's someone on the other line and one of the guys
is waiting for an important call. Talk to ya later, okay?"
//Ranchan you jackass!!//
"Ucchan, wait, don't get mad..."
*CLICK*
Ranma sighed. "Great, just great."

*

*RIIING*RII-
"Hello?"
//Ohohohohohohoho! Ranma darling! It's m-//
*CLICK*
Nonononono!
That was the last straw.
"Aw man, that's it. I'm outta here!"
Kyosuke walked by. "Hey, you done with the phone?"
"Yeah, definitely."
Ataru, from across the room, noticed Ranma's discomfort. "Hey, who
called?"
"Um, nobody. Look, Moroboshi, Kasuga, if anybody calls for me, tell'em
I'm busy, okay?" Ranma had a bad feeling about things, and he decided to
leave.
As he headed for the door, Nuku-Nuku noticed his disturbed demeanor.
"What's wrong, Saotome-san?"
He looked at Nuku and shivered briefly. He thought he'd be used to a
girl that thought she was a cat by now (he thougth Shampoo was cat-ish,
in a way) but he was still knocked off balance by Nuku.
"I'm just going out to walk for a while."
"You mean like a park?" asked Nuku.
"Somethin' like that, I guess."
"Yay! Can Nuku-Nuku come too?" She'd been in the house all day and
didn't like going anywhere alone in this new part of the city.
Ranma looked at her carefully. Wow, he thought, she even talks like
Shampoo. Scary.
"Um...." Ranma was still somewhat alarmed at Nuku's catlike behaviour.
He felt ashamed about it. It wasn't like she became a cat when hit with
cold water, right?
"Pleeeease?" asked Nuku-Nuku in a somewhat childish way.
*Ah, I'm nervous over nothin'* thought Ranma. He took a deep breath,
determined to stop his edginess around Nuku, and said, "Yeah, sure. Let's
go."
"Let's take Nuku-Nuku's bike!" Nuku said enthusiastically.
"Um.. okay, whatever."

*

Somewhere in Tokyo, there was a noise...
It was following a blazing trail that cut through the city.
It swerved through streets, across sidewalks, over cars, and echoed
through the city. It was heading towards the park.
It sounded like this...

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

*
*RIIING*RIIING*RII-
"Hello?" asked Ataru.
//Is... is Ranma there?//
"Sorry, he went out with Atsuko-chan."
//Oh... I see.//
"Hey, wanna-" *CLICK* "Damn. They always hang up before I can get'em."

*

Akane sadly looked at her phone. How stupid could I be? she asked
herself. He doesn't miss me at all...
She wiped a tear from her eye.
"I miss you, you jerk."

*

"A-choo!"
Nuku looked at Ranma curiously. "Is Saotome-san okay?"
"Um, yeah." Ranma seemed a bit dazed for some reason...
"Nuku-nuku?"
"Hm?"
"You can call me Ranma." Ranma never did like formalities.
"Ranma-kun looks sad."
He paused and sat by a nearby bench. "I... I guess I am. I just miss
the guys back home." He sighed.
Nuku-nuku examined Ranma closely. It was all a part of her attempt to
figure out what all this 'acting human' business was. She decided to
try out some 'icebreaker' phrases that papa-san taught her about.
"Nice weather."
"Hm?" Ranma looked up. "I guess it is..."
"How's work?"
"Er... I don't have a job."
Nuku-nuku didn't notice the response. She was busy trying to remember
what else to say. Oh, wait... she thought she remembered Ataru-kun saying
something about him having a fiancee? Hm...
"How's the fiancee?"
Ranma wasn't paying too much attention. He was wallowing in his own
personal funk. "Dunno," he answered absently.
Nuku-nuku thought about what to do next. What did normal human girls
usually follow this up with? Oh yeah, too many questions!
"Ranma-kun reallly DOES have a fiancee? Wow!" She giggled, hopped around,
and hugged him. Ranma suddenly became stiff as a board and a sense of terror
filled him.
Ranma blinked. "Er.. w-w-what?"
Nuku let go, much to Ranma's relief, and sat back, asking, "What's her
name? Is she cute? Do you miss her? Have you two..."
At the mere suggestion that he might actually like Akane, Ranma
snapped out of his fear.
"Hey! Wait a minute! She's NOT my girlfriend. No way. Who'd miss that
uncute violent tomboy!" Thinking of Akane again, Ranma settled back into
a sullen mood.
Nuku-nuku noticed that he was acting kinda like Papa-san when he ranted
about how bad Mama-san was. If Ranma-kun was anything like Papa-san, then
that meant only one thing....
"Ranma-kun misses his girlfriend!
"Yeah..." he quietly said, then realized what he did. "Um, no! Of
course not! I just... miss seeing my friends."
"Ranma-kun doesn't miss his fiancee?"
"Heck no!"
"Nuku-Nuku thought that people who are engaged love each other."
Ranma paused, then frowned. "Well..."
"Ranma-kun doesn't like his fiancee?"
He didn't like where this conversation was heading.
"Er, well..."
The breeze blew gently by.
Birds flew across the sky.
Ranma was speechless.
Nuku-was looking right at him, and waiting for an answer.
"C'mon, Nuku-nuku, let's get back to the house."
"Already?"
"Yeah... getting kinda late."
"Oh... Okay."
"And this time we're not using the bicycle."
"C'mon, Ranma-kun, pleeeeeeeease?"
Ranma hesitated.
"Okay, fine, we'll use the bike, but -I'm- driving."
"Aw..." Nuku-Nuku frowned. Ranma-kun was just too _slow_

*

Ryoko glided across the field, grinning. She'd managed to get Ayeka
preoccupied with chores in the house and the idiotic Mihoshi was nowhere
to be found.
Tenchi was all hers.
And there he was, walking outside now...
"Oh Teeeeenchi!" she called out sweetly. Ryoko zoomed in for the
glomp when suddenly she got glomped herself. Her flight came
to an abrupt halt and she fell to the ground quickly.
"Hey, what the hell!" she yelled.
"That's no way to talk to your mom," admonished Washu, who was hugging
Ryoko at the moment. "I've been away for all this time, and now you
greet me so rudely!"
"Hey, let me go!" Ryoko was fuming. Washu picked NOW to visit???
Washu sighed, hearing her 'daughter's' remarks. "Y'know, I never
did raise you closely. I guess I've been negligent in your upbringing..."
"LET GO, DAMMIT!"
"... but it's never too late to start, eh?" Washu casually shoved
Ryoko aside...

-splash-

... and into the lake.
"Oh, Tenchi! Hey!" Washu waved her arm around.
Tenchi saw the waving figure of Washu and approached. "Ah, Washu-chan,
you're back?"
"Just wanted to visit. So, how's things over here?"
"Well, the usual, I guess. You know how it goes."
"Hm..."
"Not much different than when you left, I guess."
"Y'know, technically, I never left."
Tenchi raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"
"I just did some dimensional engineeriiiing and linked my lab to that
place. Oh yeah, I also put a shield over my door over here."
"Why?"
"Oh, just to make it feel more distant." Washu smiled.

Meanwhile, in Washu's lab...

"Where am I? Hello? Anybody here?" Mihoshi wandered around, scared by
all the unusual creatures that were behind the glass, and all the high-tech
gadgets that looked somewhat hazardous.
She wondered if this was Washu's lab, but that couldn't be. Washu was
gone, along with her lab, right?
"Hello? Anybody?"

*

*riiiing*riiiing*riiiing*riiiing*

"Hey!" yelled Ataru, "Somebody get the phone!"
*riiiing*riiiing*
He sighed, got off the couch, put down his manga, and picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
//Daaaaaarling!//
"..."

Kyosuke reached for the doorhandle and suddenly he heard a scream of utter
terror. Ataru opened the door and blazed out to the streets.
Kyosuke paused, blinked, looked at the now very distant form of
Ataru running, shrugged, and went in.

Hikaru blinked, looked at the phone, shrugged, and hung it up.
"He wasn't there?" asked Madoka.
"No... somebody strange picked up the phone and started screaming! Darling
sure is living with weird people."
At the mention of weird people, Madoka thought about that pervert Ataru.
"Yeah, he does have strange company. He'll manage, though."
"Maybe I should go and visit him sometime? Darling must be lonely."
"He seemed to be doing fine," said Madoka, smiling a little bit.
"Hey, Madoka-san, how'd you end up with Darling on tv?"
Madoka froze. She really didn't think about it at the time...
"Ah... well..." Her mental gears were spinning desperately, "... er...
he wanted a little help with his luggage and called you, but he said that
you were out..." Madoka really hoped this worked.
"Really? Oh. That's right, I was visiting an uncle in Hong Kong."
Madoka mentally sighed in relief. That was a lucky guess.
"Anyways, he asked me to help him bring his stuff there..."

*

In the marketing office of the network station, several minds were
storming over possibilities.
"Okay, so the early reports are that we're gonna get the 15-30 crowd,
HOW can we take advantage of this?"
"Hm..."
Various photos of the seven housemates were scattered across the table.
"Okay, Nuku's definitely photogenic. Already got on the cover of Dining
Times magazine as a hot waitress..."
"That Ataru kid is coming off as a real ass. The viewership is kinda
split between liking him and hating him..."
"Mamoru? Yeah, sure the ladies think he's cute, but he never shows his
damn face enough! How can we market him?"
"Ranma... not bad... better looking than Ataru...I hear he's a martial
artist, maybe we can do something with that angle..."
"Washu?"
"Forget it."
"How about that Urd?"
"Oh boy, she's one telegenic lady. I tell ya, the male audience went wild
after seeing her. We've got plans for that lady..."

*

Cherry the Monk sat in an empty lot, going through an obscure ritual,
hopping around a campfire while striking dramatic poses and whipping around
his staff.
"Cherry, can you see him? Where is he?" asked Lum.
"Hm... it is bad," Cherry said solemnly.
"Oh no! Darling!"
"I sense he is in a faraway place... yes inded, Moroboshi is doomed!"
"Oh no!"
"He is in the company of Goddesses now, indeed, one with the energy of the
universe. All we can do is pray."
Cherry clapped his hands together and started chanting...

*

"GET OFF OF ME!" *ZAP*
Ataru was one with the wall.
Urd stomped away angrily, trying to think of something nasty and
magical to "fix" this obnoxious housemate of hers. But first, she had to
make a few calls to the office. It'd be good to have a background check on
that annoying little tick.

*

Urd sat down in the kitchen with a cup of hot tea. She had ideas already
on how to keep herself entertained here.
There was love trouble aplenty. She could _sense_ it.
First and foremost, Ranma stood out as a person in a real mess. Multiple
fiancees? Urd smiled. Whoever in the offices was responsible for that mess,
she had to admire 'em.
There was something else... something strange about that Saotome kid.
She wasn't sure, but it didn't seem important to her anyways.
Then there was this Kasuga boy. Tsk tsk. Amazing relationships there.
Another tough situation, simple yet tangled. She sensed he was special
somehow... but she wasn't too concerned about that either. It was the
matters of LOVE that she was looking for.
Washu... disturbed her. Too intelligent.
Urd liked Nuku Nuku. It was like having a little sister, only that this
little sister was much more likeable than Skuld. It seemed everybody liked
her, really, although Ranma seemed somewhat uneasy, even a little scared
around her. It was amazing what these humans did with cat brains...
Mamoru was a crusader against the forces of darkness and the occasional
Youma. It was just one of those things, and it was pretty obvious to her
once she caught a glance at him. She decided that things were best left
alone there. Well... maybe not _entirely_ alone, but his love life was the
least interesting of the four boys...

That Ataru kid... she was surprised when she called for info on _him_.

She brought the teacup to her mouth, and then a mallet popped out of it
and bonked her in the nose.
Then Ataru entered the room. "Hey! Urd-san! Let's-" Then he
noticed the mallet that was ridiculously sticking out of the teacup.
Urd yelled "HEY!" and tossed the cup away, holding her nose. It landed
on the table unspilled... and Skuld popped out of it.
Ataru blinked.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Urd yelled at her younger sister while
holding her sore nose.
"That's what I was gonna ask you!" yelled Skuld back at her.
"Um, excuse me..." said Ataru.
Urd froze.
Skuld froze.
From the bathroom, unseen by all, Belldandy made her way through the
mirror, and stepped out into the hallway.
Urd whispered, as quietly she could, "You idiot, there's
cameras all over the place."
Ataru was about to say something when Belldandy walked in...
"Ah, Miss! Hello there!"
Urd frowned. "Dammit, not again..."

*

Much Much Later

*

Keiichi watched the television, fascinated, as, on the screen, Skuld
popped out of the teacup, Belldandy walked in, and Ataru paused,
momentarily stunned.

//SKULD: Ah... there's a... a good explanation for this...//
//URD: Er... yeah...//
//BELLDANDY: (opens her mouth, but she's a tad speechless)//
{Ataru looks uncertainly at each of them, one at a time...}
//ATARU: Ah, more aliens.//

Keiichi spat out his tea. "He thinks you're aliens?"
Belldandy patted Keiichi on the shoulder. "Well, it isn't exactly
unusual anymore to be one..."
Skuld added in, "You just said you didn't want people finding out
we're goddesses, right? Everything's fine!"
"Aliens... they're gonna think I'm living with aliens..."

//ATARU: Hey babe! Wanna date!//
//BELLDANDY: (teleports before Ataru can grab her, reappearing by Skuld)
Oh my.//
//URD: Hey, not my sister!//
{Ataru is held back by Urd, but then he glomps onto her.}
//ATARU: Urd, oh, c'mon, let's go out and live vivaciously!//
//URD: DIE!//
{She punches him out of the room, but he charges right back in.}
//ATARU: C'mon! Plea-//
//*CLANG*//
{Skuld removes her hammer from Ataru's skull, slowly.}
//SKULD: Pervert!//

"What's with that guy?" asked Keiichi.
"Most lecherous boy in the universe," said Skuld, matter-of-factly.
"Seems like it."
"No, he _is_ the most lecherous boy in the universe."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Urd checked with the office," said Belldandy.

*

Keiichi walked along the streets, passing by shops and cafes. Belldandy
was holding him by the arm. All in all, it was a pleasant day.
Keiichi turned to Belldandy. "Belldandy... I..."
Belldandy turned towards Keiichi, "Um, Keiichi..."
"Yes?"
"Um... behind you." She seemed somewhat embarrased as she pointed to
something behind him.
Keiichi turned around, to see T-shirts, posters, calendars, glasses,
all sorts of items, with one thing in common. One unifying image that
would fire up the hearts of lonely men everywhere.

Urd.

"Oh boy."

-end-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

=======================
EPILOGUE: Strange Luck
=======================

Several Weeks Ago

Down at a television studio, someone was having a hard time accepting
a new concept...
"They want to what?"
"Ya heard me, the boss wanted seven people, at random."
"Er... any particular types?"
"Nope."
"Anybody?"
"_Anybody_."
"Well... okay."
A large man in a suit, chomping a cigar, left the small cubicle of an
office. Inside, an overworked, underpayed station employee pondered his
errand.
Okay, he reasoned, they want it _at_random_.
But if they end up with a bunch of freaks and idiots, who's gonna get
the blame?
Me!
So I've got to be a bit selective about this...
But it's supposed to be at random.
Hmm....

Then it dawned on him what to do.
Blame his supervisor.
"Okaaay, let's get to it," he said, grabbing a phonebook.

*

Somewhere in the heavens, there were some bored entities.
"So, how's that Moroboshi kid you've been watching over?"
"Blech, he's still a lecher. It's hopeless."
"Amazing."
"How about your case?"
"The Kasuga bunch?"
"Yep."
"Their kid would be stuck forever if he found a fork in the road."
"Huh?"
"He's indecisive."
"Oh."

There was silence.

"It's boring up here."
"No kidding."

More silence...

"Hey, I sense something..."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Heheh... like entertainment. C'mon, have a look."

*

Okay, thought the overworked underpaid television employee, here's how
it'll go. I'll drop the phonebook. It'll open. I'll turn it over. The
first name I see gets picked.

Fairly random, right?

He suddenly felt as if he wasn't alone, but guided by divine
inspiration. "Yeah, this'll work..."

*

"So," said one divine spirit, "who can we get into this..."
"Well, I have a few ideas on that."

*

*THUD*
-flip-
"Hm... Moroboshi, Ataru. Right."
He blinked.
"No... it can't be... not THAT Moroboshi."
He briefly checked some newspaper articles on the oni alien invasion
that he had pinned to the wall. It was a big event for him, since he
managed to get his break into the broadcasting business when it happened.
"Well, imagine that. It is."

*

Two divine spirits laughed hard.
"Oh, man, putting that Saotome kid in the same house as Moroboshi...
oh, that oughta be fun!"
"Yup!"

Then a phone rang. A portable, actually.

"Eh?" they both said, checking their phones at the same time.
"Oh, s'mine," said the one on the left. "Ah, hello? Urd! Hey, it's
been a long while since we heard from ya! What? Busy? Sorta... why?"
"Hurry up!" hissed the other spirit, "he's gonna flip the book again.

*

*THUD*
-flip-
"Weird... this adress isn't in Tokyo... how'd that get in here?"
He blinked, then shrugged.
"Oh well. Kasuga Kyosuke it is..."

*

The entity on the left hung up the phone.
"You'll never guess what that was about..." said the one on the left,
grinning like a cat.
"Oh?"

*

*THUD*
-flip-
"Urd? What kind of a name is that..."

*

"You're KIDDING!"
"Nope. She asked me to do it."
"Wait... does she know about Moroboshi being there?"
They both smiled wickedly.
"Oh, this... this is gonna be fun."

-end-

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, after 10+ rewrites and sooo many weeks, Part 3 is done.

Thank God.

'About time too, really, because I wanted to get back to focusing on
the Gang of Six (or seven, if Mamoru ever stuck around long enough).

Part four... will deal with employment and such.
when's it out? WHo knows, I'm in the middle of two other fics already,
one being the sequel to "The More Things Change" (GAAAH! IT'S TAKING
FOREVER!!!) and the other being a somewhat hush-hush project with some
other writers that'll probbably be ready next month.

as for this project, is there an end in sight? No... not really.
Who knows. If I get tired of it, I'll wrap it up or hand it off
to some other writer, but I'm not at that point yet.
-rpm
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CREDITS

Isabel Arantes - concept creator
R. Beaubien - overdosed me on SM facts %O
White Wolf
J. Hedge
P. L. Ward
J. Blackman
J. Fong - massive de-bugging
D. Bateson
R.K. Bentley
H. Sora
W. Lik
D. L. Pinnock

anybody else on the fanfic ML that I forgot.

OWNERSHIP 'n stuff

The Real World is done by some guy at MTV.
Ranma 1/2 & Urusei Yatsura created by Takahashi Rumiko.
Kimagure Orange Road created by Matsumoto Izumi.
Sailor Moon created by Takeuchi Naoko.
Tenchi Muyo created by Kajishima Masaki.
All Purpose Cat Girl Nuku Nuku created by Takada Yuuzou.
Oh! My Godess created by Fujishima Kosuke.
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