OT - Dogs
Paul P
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his tongue.
-Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful.
-Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went.
-Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself.
-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult.
-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down.
-Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a
cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get
used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
Phil B
Phil B
Jeffrey D Angus
Paul P wrote:
> The Truth about Dogs
Right about now, Stinsen should add that they are big clumsey
drooling oafs... And he's right. I have two of them and I love
them both. Drool and all.
Jeff
--
RESTRICTED AREA. Anyone intruding shall immediately become subject to
the jurisdiction of military law. Intruders will be subject to lethal
force, without warning, and on sight. USE OF DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHORIZED
under the Internal Security Act of 1950.
Peter Wieck
God put cats on earth to remind us that we are NOT God.
We keep dogs and are kept by cats. The analogy is apt.
Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA
ISH
<jan...@socal.rr.com> wrote:
>
>
>Paul P wrote:
>> The Truth about Dogs
>
>Right about now, Stinsen should add that they are big clumsey
>drooling oafs... And he's right. I have two of them and I love
>them both. Drool and all.
>
>Jeff
My 17 year old Lab is gone about 10 years now and I still miss her.
Ish
Bruce Mercer
> My 17 year old Lab is gone about 10 years now and I still miss her.
>
> Ish
Labs...my dog of choice, in chocolate. After the first one died I could only
stand it for two weeks before a new puppy took up residence. The same thing
happened after the second one died......two weeks to the day a new puppy
arrived. You 'never' get over missing each one no matter how much time
passes. Wonderful companions.
Bruce
cuh...@webtv.net
seven months old purebred Blue Heeler Australian Cattle Dog and my Dog
owns the couch. www.cattledog.com
cuhulin
Paul P
The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a
coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says
the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40
please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change
for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This
becomes routine until, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a
steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once
again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the
table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your
pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found
an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My
first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my
hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big Butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Ken G.
shit .. no thanks
Hagstar
> All dogs do is make everything dirty , they stink , ruin stuff bark and
> shit .. no thanks
>
PLONK
John H.
Georg Richter
Like some human beeings ;-)
95% of all the dogs I call "Fine cat, fine cat" are coming
to me with wagging tail.
Try to speak to them like me, even if the owner complains
"it's a dog!"
Kind Regards,
Georg
Robert Murrell
bartender asks, "Whats in the box?" The man pulls out a tiny piano and a
foot tall man. The little man sits down at the piano and begins playing
classical music. "Thats great!" the bartender says, "Where did you get it?"
The man says, "By rubbing this" and pulls an old lamp out of the box. The
bartender rubs the lamp and out pops this really old genie. "I'll grant you
one, and only one wish" the genie says. The bartender says "I want a
million bucks!" "Your wish is granted", says the genie, and disappears.
Suddenly, a duck flies through the door. Then another, and another, and
more. "Wait a second, I wanted a million bucks, not a million ducks", says
the bartender. "Tell me about it", says the man, "Do you think I wanted a
12 inch pianist?"
Ken G.
YES they do all over the place !
John H.
Would you like fries with that ?
Brenda Ann
"Ken G." <good...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:27216-43B...@storefull-3233.bay.webtv.net...
> All dogs do is make everything dirty , they stink , ruin stuff bark and
> shit .. no thanks
Is there ANYTHING you DO like, Ken?
<--- a cat person, but dogs are OK, too..
Gridleak
DON
AC7PD
- exray -
I posted some dog pics on the binaries...webtv only.
Ooops now they're gone. Oh well.
-Bill
Tom Adkins
An Uncle of mine in WVa had a cattle dog, a Blue Heeler according to the website.
The house sat back up on a mountain. Andy (the dog) had never been trained to round up
cattle. The cows were free to wander the property and rarely wandered into the yard
area around the house. He fenced off the front yard so my Aunt could landscape the
place a bit. It was a decorative fence with no gate and wasn't meant as a barrier. It
took a few months to train the Andy NOT to herd the cows into the front yard. Andy
insisted that those cows, by darn, belonged INSIDE of that fence.
Peter Wieck
What makes you think they need to?
Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA
Bill Jeffrey
natural herder. If a bunch of us go hiking, she tries to herd us all
into a group, and gets nervous and prance-y if we spread out. People,
other dogs, cats ... they all need herding. I have read that poodles
("real" poodles, I imagine) were once hunting dogs and herding dogs, so
apparently the gene is still there.
My cat, of course, couldn't care less - but sometimes swats the dog if
the dog gets too aggressive about it. Wish I were allowed to do that
... I secretly encourage the cat.
Bill Jeffrey
===========================
Tom Adkins
> Interesting, Tom. We (mostly my wife) have a miniature poodle who is a
> natural herder. If a bunch of us go hiking, she tries to herd us all
> into a group, and gets nervous and prance-y if we spread out. People,
> other dogs, cats ... they all need herding. I have read that poodles
> ("real" poodles, I imagine) were once hunting dogs and herding dogs, so
> apparently the gene is still there.
>
> My cat, of course, couldn't care less - but sometimes swats the dog if
> the dog gets too aggressive about it. Wish I were allowed to do that
> ... I secretly encourage the cat.
>
> Bill Jeffrey
> ===========================
>
Standard poodles were once used as retrievers. It's interesting to note that the
cutsey poodle hair cut once served a purpose. Their fur is dense and would weigh them
down in water if left long. It was trimmed close and was left long around the joints
for insulation to prevent joint problems. The ball on the end of the tail made the dog
easier to spot in the water.
Growing up, we had a larger miniature poodle, in addition to my Dads beagles (rabbit
dogs). It really steamed my Dad that the poodle was better at running rabbits than his
prized beagles.
cuh...@webtv.net
Back in the 1950's a girl in my class at school owned a little Poodle
Dog.That little Dog was always barking and would lash out of the girl's
car window (1955 Buick car) at me wanting to bite me.
cuhulin
ISH
>All dogs do is make everything dirty , they stink , ruin stuff bark and
>shit .. no thanks
A wise man once said "Beware the man who does not like dogs."
ISH
Ken G.
<--- a cat person, but dogs are OK, too..
Yes i like everything but barking dogs and people who have no respect .
I have a very long list of dog related problems that would take to long
to type out .
I`m sure if i stood near your house , barked all day & night and pooped
in your yard pissed on your plants and bit you from time to time you
would NOT LIKE that .
I have a nice cat here . I like cats they just dont cause big problems
like dogs do .
Jeffrey D Angus
Ken G. wrote:
> I have a nice cat here . I like cats they just dont cause big problems
> like dogs do .
I'm Fat Freddy's cat and I ain't no kitty.
Don't fu** with me and I won't get shitty.
I'll piss in your boots and shit in your hat.
I'll spray your whole house with essence of cat.
I'll track you records with my paws.
And shed your water bed with my claws.
I'm Fat Freddy's cat and I ain't no kitty.
Ooom-ka-doodle Ooom-ka-doodle.
Chorus provided by the cock roach army.
With a tip 'o the hat to Gilbert Sheldon.
Tom Adkins
Maybe he was a good judge of character? ;)
J. B. Wood
good...@webtv.net (Ken G.) wrote:
> Yes i like everything but barking dogs and people who have no respect .
> I have a very long list of dog related problems that would take to long
> to type out .
> I`m sure if i stood near your house , barked all day & night and pooped
> in your yard pissed on your plants and bit you from time to time you
> would NOT LIKE that .
>
Hello, and those things happen and gripe me as well. OTOH, how many times
have you heard of a cat saving a human's life? A seeing-eye cat? A
drug-sniffing cat? A herding cat? a watchcat? Rin-tin-kitty? Cats make
good pets, too, but that's probably the extent of their utility.
Sincerely,
John Wood (Code 5550) e-mail: wo...@itd.nrl.navy.mil
Naval Research Laboratory
4555 Overlook Avenue, SW
Washington, DC 20375-5337
- exray -
>
> Hello, and those things happen and gripe me as well. OTOH, how many times
> have you heard of a cat saving a human's life? A seeing-eye cat? A
> drug-sniffing cat? A herding cat? a watchcat? Rin-tin-kitty? Cats make
> good pets, too, but that's probably the extent of their utility.
Mice.
-Bill
Peter Wieck
>have you heard of a cat saving a human's life?
Personal:
Boswell, our Maine Coon has at the very least saved health and
property. He will dance if you whistle to him, and has done so since a
kitten. He also seeks out such noises (or is attracted to them,
depending on your point of view), and will make a great deal of fuss if
he finds such, including demanding that you follow him to it. When we
were in Saudi, one of the residents had a habit of burning scented
candles on those evenings when her husband got back from his
travels.... after which the inevitable would follow. One evening,
Boswell came running into our villa practically howling, then back out
(cat door), then in, back out. We went out after him and followed him
down the block (about 200 yards) to this woman's villa... we heard the
smoke alarm. We called and woke/diverted them. They got up to discover
that their living room coffee table was in flames, but got it out
before it spread to the couch and curtains... and perhaps them.
Boswell is also very sensitive to the smell of natural gas. We are in a
twin-house. Our neighbor has a fairly old gas boiler with a standing
pilot and no thermocouple cut-off. For one reason or another, that
pilot went out some winters ago. We got a call from our neigbor that
Boswell had gotten into their house and was standing at their basement
door and growling if they tried to pick them up. I went over and
suggested that they let him into the basement. He went straight to the
boiler and started sniffing around. We could smell it too, by then.
Once we had discovered the gas, Boswell reverted to his normal gentle
self and allowed himself to be picked up. Boswell also plays with their
dog (a tiny little white yip-yap) ever day. He is actually bigger than
it is.
Tuffy, a cat I had when growing up once saved me from a dog attack, I
was about 4 at the time. He was a very large cat, his size possibly
exaggerated by my smallness... but in any case, a very distant neighbor
had a German Shepherd that occasionally got away and would terrorize
the neighborhood by chasing people & children wherever he found them.
He had a reputation for biting, but this was nearly 50 years ago, so
things were very different then in terms of animal control. In any
case, I was playing outside when this dog ran into the yard barking
like a maniac. My mother (watching from the kitchen window) described a
grey streak flying across the yard at the Shepherd, a buzz-saw effect
on the dog's eyes, and finally the "grab & kick" which apparently
ripped the dog's throat open... blood everywhere and a dead dog. No
Kidding.
This same cat (I was then 7 and remember it vividly) climbed up an
aggressive, bald salesman at our house and stood on his head howling...
the salesman left.
General:
Ratting cats have saved more lives and food than you might think. There
is a clear connection between the destruction of cats in mediaevel
Europe and the Black Plague, as well as cholera and other
contaminant-based diseases.
And finally, I refer you to Rudyard Kipling: The Cat Who Walks by
Himself.
http://www.boop.org/jan/justso/cat.htm
Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA
cuh...@webtv.net
who was handicapped to a wheelchair.He had been trying to teach his cat
to hit the emergency 911 button on his telephone.(he kept his telephone
on the floor) He fell out of his wheelchair and he couldn't reach his
telephone.Believe it or not,his cat did hit the 911 button on the
telephone.When some folks got there,they found only the guy and his cat
in his home.The cat saved the guys life.
cuhulin
cuh...@webtv.net
some Prince Edward pipe tobacco and that billy goat would drink half a
bucket of water.I used to pinch him on his side and he would rare up
like a horse and wiggle his ears.I wound up selling that billy goat to a
guy for four dollars.
cuhulin
cuh...@webtv.net
would run our attic fan in the summertime and keep the windows
open.(that attic fan sure did pull in the dust too) Sometimes when we
were cooking dinner or supper,one or two of those cats would jump up on
the window screens and start howling.
cuhulin
Michael A. Terrell
You've never seen a dog catch and kill a mouse? My rat terrier used
to do it every fall when they were trying to find a warm place for the
winter. he would catch Starlings that would pestering him, too. He
would take off in a dead run, jump in the air and catch the bird as it
tried to fly away after it swooped down at him and tried to attack him.
--
Service to my country? Been there, Done that, and I've got my DD214 to
prove it.
Member of DAV #85.
Michael A. Terrell
Central Florida
Peter Wieck
Sure. But parse that carefully. I am not overly fond of dogs, 'cept
ours. And given how I feel about ours, I respect all other dog lovers.
Dogs are pushy, demanding, dependent, sometimes smelly, they rarely age
gracefully (as compared to cats, anyway)... but they will either fill
or break your heart every day of their lives. That dogs are more
trainable than cats is much due to their pack-animal nature, where
cooperation is a survival trait. However, one gets the feeling that
they would do it anyway out of love.
Cats are illusive, alternately aloof or demanding, highly intelligent
(with some remarkable exceptions!), and far more sensitive than dogs to
immediate emotions... and only those who have had cats understand this
behavior. They also smell better (in both senses of the word) and hear
more acutely (really!) than dogs, though across a slightly smaller
range of frequencies.
As Bill Staines sings: All God's critters have a place in the Choir,
some sing low, some sing higher... and the porcupine talks to himself.
Finally, Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.
Peter Wieck
Wyncote, PA
- exray -
> - exray - wrote:
>
>>J. B. Wood wrote:
>>
>
>>>good pets, too, but that's probably the extent of their utility.
>>
>>Mice.
>>
>>-Bill
>
>
> You've never seen a dog catch and kill a mouse?
Of course, Michael. I was responding to J.B.'s comment.
A buddy of mine had a Jack Russell terrier. That dog was a hoot. You
could point at a crab hole in the sand on the beach and say "CRAB!" and
that darn dog would dig until you told him to stop...or until he found
the crab :)
-Bill
Bill Jeffrey
A similar one. Our cat is a big old neutered tom, as laid back as any
critter can be. So I was surprised last summer when he came to my home
office on the third floor of our house, and yowled and paced toward the
stairs and back to me - repeatedly. I got up, he ran to the stairs, I
followed him down to the second floor - where he repeated the
performance. I followed him down to the first floor, he led me to the
front door, and when I opened it, he led me out onto the porch, then
disappeared. I looked up and saw a two-story geyser of water across the
street, blasting the neighbor's garage. Turns out the neighbors had
just had a lawn sprinkler system installed, and the backflow preventer
had shattered, releasing full line pressure into the air and onto the
garage. I went over and turned off the supply valve, and when I
returned, the cat was sitting on the porch quietly licking his paws.
Can't say that this is common, but it does happen. And our poodle just
sat there stupidly and watched the whole thing.
Bill
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cuh...@webtv.net
minutes,after she gets through doing her "business",she kicks her hind
legs at "it" about half a dozen times.
cuhulin
Michael A. Terrell
>
> Michael A. Terrell wrote:
>
> > You've never seen a dog catch and kill a mouse?
>
> Of course, Michael. I was responding to J.B.'s comment.
>
> A buddy of mine had a Jack Russell terrier. That dog was a hoot. You
> could point at a crab hole in the sand on the beach and say "CRAB!" and
> that darn dog would dig until you told him to stop...or until he found
> the crab :)
>
> -Bill
Rat Terriers were bred for fox hunting. They will go into a fox's
hole, get behind the fox and push it out so the hunter can shoot the
fox. They have short, strong legs and are strong willed, as well. Try
walking one in snow or on ice and you'll quickly learn that you will
have to flip them over with their chain to make them change direction.
It might sound cruel, but they can drag you out into a busy street if
they want something that is on the other side. "Chopper" caught more
mice and birds than any cat we ever had.
Uncle Peter
"J. B. Wood" <wo...@itd.nrl.navy.mil> wrote in message
news:wood-05010...@jbw-mac.itd.nrl.navy.mil...
> In article <29602-43B...@storefull-3238.bay.webtv.net>,
> good...@webtv.net (Ken G.) wrote:
>
> > Hello, and those things happen and gripe me as well. OTOH, how many
times
> have you heard of a cat saving a human's life? A seeing-eye cat? A
> drug-sniffing cat? A herding cat? a watchcat? Rin-tin-kitty? Cats make
> good pets, too, but that's probably the extent of their utility.
> Sincerely,
>
And Lassie was no kitty.
cuh...@webtv.net
cuhulin
Tim Mullen
>But Lassie sure was brave.
Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with
was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting
pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the
farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their
sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do
you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her?
What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead
of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under
the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops
whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which
Lassie filed the applications for.
-- Dave Barry
--
Tim Mullen
------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I in your basement? Looking for antique televisions, fans, etc.
------ finger this account or call anytime: (212)-463-0552 -------
Uncle Peter
"Tim Mullen" <t...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:dpkoq6$hun$1...@reader2.panix.com...
> In <21514-43B...@storefull-3258.bay.webtv.net> cuh...@webtv.net
writes:
>
> >But Lassie sure was brave.
>
> Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with
> was made up of idiots. Remember?
The late Tommy Retting was okay, but I couldn't stand Jon Provost. Poor
Lassie.
cmdr buzz corey
grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging him around above his
head. A cleak runs up and shouts, "what are you doing to that poor
dog?" "It's OK" says the blind man, "we're just looking around".