Family YUK

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tce...@cox.net

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Jan 7, 2007, 3:17:59 PM1/7/07
to Primary Immune Deficiency
I had a terrible experience this morning. My mother is a terrible,
horrible person. I was told years ago "some peopl are sick in their
body and some people are sick in their heads......your mother is sick
in the head". This was after she attacked the womens daughter who was
living with my mother to the point where the young lady had to sut
herself in a closet inside her room with the door locked, later to
climb out the window to get away from my mother.

As you all know, my mother was diagnosed with hypogam a few days ago.
Before that, she thought I was full of SH@#. Yesterday, she called all
of my family to try to get sympathy for her diagnosis and got a very
cold shoulder. My mother has had every physical malidy known to man at
some point in her life....if you know what I mean. So now, we all tend
to ignore her when she tells us she has something else. But I can
beleive that she has CVID....it makes sense.

So she called this morning to tell me that she chewed my father out
yesterday. Apparently, she called my brother to find some sympathy.
His response was to tell her that it was just another ploy for
attention.....that all the docs that told her this are a bunch of
quacks who don't know what they are talking about. Then, she goes on
to tell me that my father, my brothers and my sister have spent the
last year talking to eachother about how this is all in our
head....that there is nothing wrong with my children and I and that we
are full of SH#&. She unloaded that on me then said she had to go. I
told her "you need to be very careful about what you are saying. Are
you certain that my entire family has been talking about my family
behind their backs and saying that we are "faking"". She said
yes....that was what she was saying.

WOW!!!! My husband got on the phone with one of my brothers and
confronted him and he denied ever saying that. I believe him. But I
can believe that my other brother and my sister would say that. I
would also believe that my father would say that as he has done
everything but say it to my face.

This is my family....the one that I have been there for in a heartbeat
when something has happened to them....spent months nursing them and
caring for them....giving up my life for them......and would do it
again. WHY?

Terri

Pattie Curran

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Jan 7, 2007, 3:23:09 PM1/7/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com
Because you are a kind and loving person.

Are you sure we are not related?????

Your family sounds like mine. You know, my mom is being..... and all she
cares about is herself. She has not even said a thing about the boys recent
results. Self centered is an understatement. I asked how she was doing and
she has ignored me--I called, being ignored. Whatever.

Family can suck. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you
can't pick your family.

Pax,

Pattie
"Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being
taught."

Terri Cerda

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Jan 7, 2007, 3:50:30 PM1/7/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com

Isn't that the truth!

I am glad that I do not live near them right now....and may never again.

Terri


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Pattie Curran

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Jan 7, 2007, 3:49:13 PM1/7/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com
I hear you-- we're on the East Coast and my parents are on the West
coast...THANK GOD.

valarie k

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Jan 7, 2007, 4:44:51 PM1/7/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com
why is it that those of us with "greatness thrust upon us"---or strength, whatever---always seem to have these issues? rarely you meet a person in our situation who has EVERYTHING else going for them.........its almost always trouble after trouble. family, finances, home situations........just continual difficulty.
Sometimes, I feel tired of being strong. I feel tired of making big decisions.........evidenced sometimes when my husband asks me a simple question, like, "would you like pizza for dinner?" only to have me snap "why must I always make decisions? why cant you? why is it always up to me? why??" 
"um............ok, so pizza is good with you then?" LOL

aachh!! sometimes I wish that was my biggest decision.....what was for dinner!!
valarie

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Pattie Curran

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Jan 7, 2007, 4:48:57 PM1/7/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com

I know what you mean.  My life is a novel—I have one brother who died of a drug overdose, one who committed suicide and a third who is in the state pen for the 3rd time…… and crazy dysfunctional parents.    I’m the black sheep of my family in a good way.

 

Pax,

 

Pattie

"Personally, I'm always ready to learn,  although I do not always like being taught."

valarie k

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Jan 7, 2007, 5:04:14 PM1/7/07
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I am so sorry to hear about your brothers, though. I  know sometimes people think we are making things up..........bc there is just no possible way all this can happen to one family.......HA!! but it does!! really!!!
well, looks like even crazy dysfunctional parents can yield wonderful offspring----Im glad you are the person you are, and w/o  your parents, you wouldnt be...........and the boys wouldnt be just who they are.
I was recently studying our family geneolgy for a school project of Olivias, and found some interesting things. Something my uncle nearly choked telling me, was that my grandfathers father was placed for adoption( I had been having trouble looking him up, THAT was why!LOL) bc his mother was a (whisper, cough)"loosewoman" COUGH!!! clear throat!!(poor uncle!) and didnt care for her children. I dont know...........I was thinking on that.......about, what her life must have been like, at that time..........and its strange to think that had she NOT been "thataway", my mother would not have been who she is.........I wouldnt be who I am..........my children would not be who they are. and all bc we had a tramp in the family LOL!! but seriously............our families................we can do nothing about who they are......what they are.............but w/o them, we wouldnt be who we are.(for better or worse:)
well..........I think I think too much!!
valarie

Pattie Curran <Catholi...@earthlink.net> wrote:

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Pattie Curran

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Jan 8, 2007, 8:43:49 AM1/8/07
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Oh tell me about it.  I once told a priest friend of mine that I would get kicked out of an anxiety support group.  Just getting through my childhood and family would push them over the edge….then 14 pregnancy losses and 2 chronically ill kids!  HA….. they’d kick me out.

 

You’ve got to laugh or you’ll cry.

 

We’re off to Duke today—if they let us in.  Got a message Friday that said we had to take care of our balance first.  I’ve been trying to get insurance to cover it and we do have a balance that we have paid on.  I’ll need to go to confession afterward if they refuse to let J be seen in clinic.

nancy barnes

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Jan 8, 2007, 12:01:22 PM1/8/07
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Pattie,
my prayers are with you that it will all work out at Duke today, for your boy's sake.

Hugs,

Nancy

nancy barnes

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Jan 8, 2007, 2:03:17 PM1/8/07
to primary...@googlegroups.com
Terri,

I am so sorry your family is so dysfunctional and unable to be supportive to you...it probably does not help much, but rest assured, it is THEIR problem, not yours...yes, it directly affects your life, but it is NOT a reflection of who you are...

It seems that in some families (and I can relate, but not quite so dramatically), there is one person that seems to be "the giver" and the rest are comfortable to sit in judgement and take...and it hurts, not to mention depletes you both physically and emotionally.

Try to take comfort in the knowledge that YOU are a giving, loving, and caring person, and your DH and kids are fortunate to have you...and it sounds as if your DH has your back, calling your brother to confront him.

Don't let their bitterness and cynicism change who you are....

Thinking of you.

Hugs,

Nancy

nancy barnes

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Jan 8, 2007, 2:14:03 PM1/8/07
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first, I can sooooo relate to deciding what's for dinner being too much!!  Some days, I JUST DON'T CARE....  second, you're husband sounds at least somewhat sensitive to take the cue and say, "ok, so pizza is good with you then?"  I love my DH, but he would respond with, "What, you need me to plan dinners now?!?"  lol  I know I could not do his job, but still, I would love to trade places with him for one day b/c I still think he sees me as sitting home, twiddling my thumbs...HA

nancy

Pattie Curran

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Jan 8, 2007, 3:52:35 PM1/8/07
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I hate making dinner after a stressful day.  Chicken and rice is a good stand-by

 

Pax,

 

Pattie

"Personally, I'm always ready to learn,  although I do not always like being taught."

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