ED CONRAD STILL RESOLVING GREAT MYSTERIES OF LIFE
Bullshit Remover
First, some background music, Maestro
http://www.nurple.com/sideshow/
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> PREVIOUS GREAT MYSTERIES SOLVED
> (Three Cheers for Ed Conrad)
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BOTH ATHEISTS, CREATIONISTS HAVE IT WRONG
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro.amateur/msg/15b2f408f49e8501
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HOW "COLOMBO" DISCOVERED AMERICA...
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro/msg/9c350823040c0512
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EXTRATERRESTRIALS SUPERVISED CONSTRUCTION OF PYRAMIDS
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro/msg/a113359482eaad9a
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WHY THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA WAS BUILT
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/484d8f27be250c9e
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================================
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< ANOTHER GREAT MYSTERY SOLVED
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Making the rounds of controversial and heated debate once again these
days is honest, sensible discussion to answer the time-honored
question:
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> WHICH CAME FIRST?
> THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
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http://exobiology.nasa.gov/ssx/biomod/origin_of_life_slideshow/Chicken=egg.big.jpg
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Let's analyze the situation using some good ol' common sense.
UNDENIABLE FACT NO. 1: The chicken *couldn't* have come first because,
adhering to the ground rules, there had to be an egg from which to
hatch the chicken.
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Obviously, if there hadn't been an egg, there could *never* have been
a chicken.
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(Since we all know chickens hatch from eggs. If you have any doubts,
ask any farmer.)
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UNDENIABLE FACT No. 2: The egg couldn't have come before the chicken
-- at least in this particular scenario -- because, according to the
ground rules, there hadn't been a previous chicken to have laid the
egg from which a chicken arrived via the conventional route of having
been hatched from an egg.
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If a chicken, however, *didn't* lay that egg -- not necessarily the
chicken in question but quite possibly a different chicken -- and
without an egg we know there can be no chicken, since even a numbskull
is
aware that chickens DO come from eggs.
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Ditto for the chicken, since there theoretically was no egg hatched
to eventually become a chick, then eventually a chicken -- and it H
to become
a hen because everyone knows hens lay chickens and roosters are only
around to wake up many people at 5 a.m., not only farmers.
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However, without an egg, logic dictates that there could not have
been a chicken (or, for that matter, an egg), since the egg in our
theoretical question was *still* an egg and had not yet become a
chicken).
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But let's look at it from *another* less-complicated angle.
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Say there was a chicken that *had* laid an egg that had become a
chicken after hatching from the egg but, theoretically the
prponderence of evidence later indicated that there had been no
chicken around to lay any eggs from which this particular chicken had
hatched to lay more eggs to hatch many more eggs to create many more
chickens.
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The problem is compounded by the undeniable fact that the chicken in
question, which under normal circumstances would lay some eggs, *did
not* lay the egg that is subject of debate in "Which Came First? The
Chicken or the Egg," since the egg -- at least theoretically --
couldn't have been laid by that chicken (the chicken in question),
unless of course the chicken had been around longer than the egg.
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However -- and here it begins to get a bit complicated
-- in this particular situation, this particular chicken could not
have come first -- *before* the egg -- since chickens come from eggs
and the egg could not have come first, since chickens have to be
around to lay
eggs that eventually wind up as chickens who, in turn, lay more eggs
to create more chickens.
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http://www.cooltownstudios.com/images/chicken-egg.jpg
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It stands to reason that the chicken in this story could not possibly
have become a chicken if there was no (chicken) egg, and no egg could
ever become a chicken if there hadn't been a chicken around to lay the
egg that in turn would result in a chicken -- whether or not this
particular chicken --
would eventually lay more eggs to hatch more chickens.
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The only obvious answer -- other than creation or evolution -- is
whether the chicken was carrying the egg when it crossed the road --
the subject of that other brain-twister, "Why Did the Chicken
Cross the Road?" .
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Tjhis undoubtedly means that thet the only reasonable answer to "Which
Came First: The Chicken or the Egg" is that it's a dead heat.
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Both obviously arrived at the first time, either the chicken carrying
the egg or the egg containing the chicken == or vice-versa,or versa-
VISA (predicated on the fact that either had that type credit card
(and NOT Mastercharge).
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The only remaining question, then, is where both the chicken and/or
the egg had come from, which is a bit more complicated than "Which
Came First: The Chicken or the Egg? -- but that, too, will be easily
solved, same as other great mysteries of life, if I have a day or two
to think about it, and after consulting with my good friends Larry
King, Stephen Hawkins and Howard Stern.
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Ed Conrad, Ph.D., I.D.I.O.T.
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============
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<
100 LARGEST U.S. NEWSPAPERS
USA Today (2,281,831; No Sunday edition)
The Wall Street Journal (2,070,498; None)
The New York Times (1,121,623; 1,680,582)
Los Angeles Times (907,997; 200,065)
Washington Post (740,947; 1,000,565)
The Daily News (708,773); 835,121)
New York Post (643,086; 427,039)
Chicago Tribune (565,679; 953,814)
Houston Chronicle (527,744; 720,711)
Dallas Morning News (477,493; 655,809)
San Francisco Chronicle (468,739; 510,844)
Newsday - New York (459,305; 521,498)
The Arizona Republic (452,016; 574,798)
Chicago Sun-Times (432,230; 359,123)
The Boston Globe (429,552; 672,882)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (396,888; 610,338)
The Star-Ledger - New Jersey (382,055; 591,272)
Star Tribune - Minneapolis (378,316; 655,198)
Detroit Free Press (370,875; 682,798)
Philadelphia Inquirer (364,974; 744,242)
The Plain Dealer - Cleveland (348,416; 463,482)
St. Petersburg Times - Florida (337,515; 432,231)
The Oregonian - Portland (332,829; 398,694)
The San Diego Union-Tribune (332,273; 363,907)
The Denver Post (321,405; 735,621)
Rocky Mountain News - Denver - (320,345; 735,621)
The Miami Herald (312,811; 429,697)
The Sacramento Bee (305,394; 341,157)
The Orange County Register - Calif. (300,972; 363,907)
St. Louis Post-Dispatch (284,473; 445,713)
The Kansas City Star (278,937; 383,123)
San Jose Mercury News (276,166; 310,520)
The Detroit News (263,703; 682,798)
The Times-Picayune - New Orleans (261,573; 288,706)
South Florida Sun-Sentinel (260,316; 359,772)
The Indianapolis Star (254,437; 357,284)
The Orlando Sentinel (251,998; 368,562)
The Sun - Baltimore (246,584; 430,675)
San Antonio Express-News (245,034; 352,974)
The Columbus Dispatch (244,280; 357,839)
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (241,556; 411,749)
Tampa Tribune (238,743; 315,407)
The Boston Herald (238,569; 150,352)
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (237,867; 401,380)
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (237,554; 333,933)
The Charlotte Observer (230,901; 282,990)
The Seattle Times (229,584; 457,010)
The Oklahoman (219,350; 294,686)
The Courier-Journal - Louisville (215,734; 276,032)
The Virginian-Pilot (198,273; 232,256)
The Cincinnati Enquirer (195,449; 296,989)
The Buffalo News (194,225; 277,921)
Omaha World-Herald (194,222; 240,026)
The Hartford Courant (190,572; 265,249)
Saint Paul Pioneer Press (190,374; 247,495)
Richmond Times-Dispatch (188,893; 226,134)
The Press-Enterprise - Riverside, CA (188,228; 185,060)
Contra Costa (CA) Times (187,042; 197,423)
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - Little Rock (184,659; 279,485)
Austin American-Statesman (184,398; 230,229)
The Palm Beach (FL) Post (181,626; 217,634)
The Record - Hackensack, NJ (179,538; 213,289)
Daily News - Woodland Hills, CA (176,548; 200,065)
The News & Observer - Raleigh, NC (176,025; 211,231)
The Tennessean- Nashville (175,834; 234,957)
The Commercial Appeal - Memphis, TN (172,195; 228,761)
The Florida Times-Union - Jacksonville (168,014; 227,391)
Democrat and Chronicle - Rochester, NY (167,696; 223,718)
Las Vegas Review-Journal (167,586; 220,723)
The Fresno Bee (166,554; 192,203)
The Providence Journal (164,980; 231,117)
Asbury Park Press - Neptune, NJ (153,557; 206,182)
The Birmingham News (153,378; 185,484)
The Des Moines Register (150,907; 239,367)
Daily Herald - Arlington Heights, IL (149,595; 149,179)
Tulsa World (148,000; 198,000)
The Honolulu Advertiser (145,197; 163,446)
The Akron Beacon Journal (143,799; 184,825)
Seattle Post-Intelligencer (141,744; 457,010)
The Grand Rapids Press (139,100; 184,848)
The Journal News - White Plains, NY (138,539; 156,566)
Dayton Daily News (135,936; 180,944)
The Blade - Toledo, OH (134,037; 176,823)
The Salt Lake Tribune (130,351; 150,852)
The News Tribune - Tacoma, WA (128,937; 143,937)
Sarasota Herald-Tribune (123,231; 145,084)
The Knoxville News-Sentinel (121,917; 153,779)
La Opinion - Los Angeles, CA (119,735; 66,973)
Philadelphia Daily News (118,822; None)
Post-Standard - Syracuse, NY (118,605; 171,967)
Morning Call - Allentown, PA (117,717; 159,383)
The News Journal - New Castle, DE (117,389; 137,849)
Lexington (KY) Herald-Leader (116,894; 147,208)
The State Columbia, SC (116,254; 148,610)
The Arizona Daily Star - Tucson (113,296; 174,427)
The Daytona Beach News-Journal (112,278; 128,312)
East Valley Tribune - Mesa, AZ (109,637; 88,115)
Albuquerque Journal (108,177; 150,787)
The Patriot News - Harrisburg, PA (102,710; 151,583)
News-Press - Fort Myers, FL(100,770; 121,163)
100 LARGEST WORLD NEWSPAPERS
Rank Title Country Circulation (000)
1 Yomiuri Shimbun Japan 14,067,000
2 The Asahi Shimbun Japan 12,121,000
3 Mainichi Shimbun Japan 5,587,000
4 Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 4,635
5 Chunichi Shimbun Japan 4,512
6 Bild Germany 3,867
7 Sankei Shimbun Japan 2,757
8 Canako Xiaoxi (Beijing) China 2,627
9 Peopleʼs Daily China 2,509
10 Tokyo Sports Japan 2,425
11 The Sun United Kingdom 2,419
12 The Chosun Ilbo South Korea 2,378
13 USA Today USA 2,310
14 The Wall Street Journal USA 2,107
15 Daily Mail UK 2,093
16 The Joongang Ilbo South Korea 2,084
17 The Dong-A Ilbo South Korea 2,052
18 Nikkan Sports Japan 1,965
19 Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,922
20 Dainik Jagran India 1,911
21 Yangtse Evening Post China 1,715
22 Sports Nippon Japan 1,711
23 The Nikkan Gendai Japan 1,686
24 Times of India India 1,680
25 Guangzhou Daily China 1,650
26 The Mirror UK 1,597
27 Yukan Fuji Japan 1,559
28 Shizuoka Shimbun Japan 1,479
29 Nanfang City News (Guangzhou) China 1,410
30 Dainik Bhaskar India 1,405
31 Sankei Sports Japan 1,368
32 Hochi Shimbun Japan 1,354
33 Yangcheng Evening News (Guangzhou) China 1,320
34 Malayala Manorama India 1,309
35 Liberty Times Taiwan 1,300
36 Thai Rath Thailand 1,200
37 New York Times USA 1,121
38 Hindustan Times India 1,108
39 Chutian Metro Daily (Wuhan) China 1,084
40 Gujarat Samachar India 1,051
41 Ananda Bazar Patrika India 1,046
42 Xinmin Evening News (Shanghai) China 1,045
43 Eenadu India 1,039
44 Nishi-Nippon Shimbun Japan 1,025
45 Kronen Zeitung Austria 1,009
46 WAZ Mediengruppe Germany 1,001
47 United Daily News Taiwan 1,000
48 China Times Taiwan 1,000
49 Daily Sports Japan 999
50 The Hindu India 989
51 Hindustan India 957
52 Beijing Evening News China 950
53 Mathrubhumi India 904
54 Los Angeles Times USA 902
55 Information Times China 900
56 Daily News Thailand 900
57 Al-Ahram Egypt 900
58 Peninsula City News China 860
59 Kom Chad Luek Thailand 850
60 Kyoto Shimbun Japan 825
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 821
62 Punjab Kesari India 817
63 Komsomolskaya Pravda Russia 817
64 Rajasthan Patrika India 804
65 Dahe Newspaper China 796
66 Chugoku Shimbun Japan 789
67 Ouest France France 783
68 Daily Sakai India 783
69 Jang Pakistan 775
70 AJ India 759
71 De Telegraaf The Netherlands 753
72 Qianjiang Evening News China 750
73 Qilu Evening News China 750
74 Nanfang Daily China 750
75 Daily Thanthi India 750
76 Moskovskiy Komsomolets Russia 750
77 Sandesh India 743
78 Daily Express UK 720
79 New York Daily News USA 715
80 The Washington Post USA 708
81 Daily Star UK 705
82 Today Evening News China 699
83 New York Post USA 686
84 Corriere della Sera Italy 677
85 Wuhan Evening News China 660
86 Modern Express China 651
87 Yanzhao Metro Daily China 650
88 Metro Express China 650
89 Zeitungsgruppe Koln Germany 628
90 Kahoku Shimpo Japan 622
91 La Repubblica Italy 622
92 Trud Russia 613
93 Beijing Youth Daily China 606
94 Chicago Tribune USA 601
95 New Express China 600
96 Daily Sunshine China 600
97 Matichon Thailand 600
98 Khao Sod Thailand 600
99 Apple Daily Taiwan 600
100 Min Sheng Pao Taiwan 600