(The shop owner does not respond.)
What do you mean "miss"?
We're closin' for lunch.
Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, init, ay? Beautiful plumage!
No no no no no no! 'E's resting!
(owner hits the cage) There, he moved!
I never!!
I never, never did anything...
No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, init, squire? Lovely plumage!
(pause) Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
No no! 'E's pining!
(pause) Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
(pause) I got a slug.
Not really.
Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.
This shop is closed for lunch!