[typos worth keeping] rifuculous
Zero
rifuculous
whoa. i love that one. what a beaut.
it was supposed to be "ridiculous".
but "rifuculous" raises the absurdity connotations to a
certain sublime quality simply not conveyable using a
term as run-of-the-mill as "ridiculous".
rifuculous has such an otherwordly feel to it.
it describes the ridiculousness of a person who
has far exceeded what would be considered
normal expectations of your average ridiuclousness.
rifuculous.com perhaps? Yo Wendy. it fits you perfectly.
you and Goalpost should chip in on that one.
so, what's *your* favorite typo worth keeping?
+++
----------- making friends [BR]
is [BR] [BR]
----------- much better than [BR] [BR]
----------- making enemies [BR] [BR]
$Zero...
Ultraviolet
news:20030924143205...@mb-m17.aol.com:
> [typos worth keeping] rifuculous
>
>
> rifuculous
>
> whoa. i love that one. what a beaut.
It's great!
<>
> so, what's *your* favorite typo worth keeping?
Volumptuous. Poetry class girl thought it actually was the correct
spelling, which caused much merriment...and she was a good sport about it,
too.
--
UV
fundoc
"Zero" <shakub...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030924143205...@mb-m17.aol.com...
> [typos worth keeping] rifuculous
>
>
> rifuculous
>
> whoa. i love that one. what a beaut.
>
> it was supposed to be "ridiculous".
>
> but "rifuculous" raises the absurdity connotations to a
> certain sublime quality simply not conveyable using a
> term as run-of-the-mill as "ridiculous".
>
> rifuculous has such an otherwordly feel to it.
>
> it describes the ridiculousness of a person who
> has far exceeded what would be considered
> normal expectations of your average ridiuclousness.
>
> rifuculous.com perhaps? Yo Wendy. it fits you perfectly.
>
> you and Goalpost should chip in on that one.
>
>
> so, what's *your* favorite typo worth keeping?
Once, when writing a brief note to the not current Mrs Fundoc I misspelled her
name (Caroline) "spermguzzlingfuckingcuntwhore." I laughed and laughed.
Bill Palmer
> [typos worth keeping] rifuculous
>
>
> rifuculous
>
> whoa. i love that one. what a beaut.
>
> it was supposed to be "ridiculous".
>
> but "rifuculous" raises the absurdity connotations to a
> certain sublime quality simply not conveyable using a
> term as run-of-the-mill as "ridiculous".
>
> rifuculous has such an otherwordly feel to it.
>
> it describes the ridiculousness of a person who
> has far exceeded what would be considered
> normal expectations of your average ridiuclousness.
>
> rifuculous.com perhaps? Yo Wendy. it fits you perfectly.
>
> you and Goalpost should chip in on that one.
>
>
> so, what's *your* favorite typo worth keeping?
The most famous typo in Usenet history to
date is clealy (sic) mine. In fact, if you
do a Google "all groups" search for "clealy"
and "Palmer" you should find something close
to 3,500 GEMS. You can find even more if you
leave off the "Palmer" keyword, because for a
couple of years the typo (thanks to the diligent
efforts of flame war spankard Raoul Xemblinosky)
became so well-known that wags in some groups
would use "clealy" as a widely recognizeable
in-joke in posts without mentioning me at all.
Yes, having one of my innumerable typos bandied
about in such a silly fashion annoyed me at the
time, but what the heck, it was all good clean
fun, really. That's why I don't feel I need
to take any guff from greenhorns. They waltz
into these electronic woods and try to tell me
what's what in Usenet culture, when even my TYPO
is demonstratedly far better known in Usenet than
THEY are!
(By the way, where is the good ol' boy,
Raoul, anyhoo? Somebody spank him off
the again? Not a bad feller at all, really.)
clealy, this post was typed by
the-funny-little-wilhelp-man
"Official Entertainer to the Net Kooks"
Pat Marcello
>
>
> rifuculous
>
> so, what's *your* favorite typo worth keeping?
LOL!
Who needs a better one?
--
Pat M. We should make rifuculous a word: "You're worse than ridiculous;
you're refuculous!" LOL
Alan Hope
>The most famous typo in Usenet history to
>date is clealy (sic) mine. In fact, if you
>do a Google "all groups" search for "clealy"
>and "Palmer" you should find something close
>to 3,500 GEMS.
You're too modest. The most famous tyop in Usenet history, Biil, was
when you mispeld your own name.
That would take some beating, and so do you.
--
AH
Bill Palmer
Aw shucks, Hopeless. You are just envious
because--dispite your self-important airs
of late--I have at least two typos which
are more famous on the net than YOU are as
a writer, anyplace. Of course, that does
not even scratch the surface of what is far
more significant: The fact that on-line or
off-line, old time print world or wherever,
FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER is far
better known than anything you have ever
written.
On top of all that, if I wanted
to do a few seconds more typing (which you
don't deserve) I could name quite a few
other works of mine that are ALSO better
known and more popular than anything you
have ever witten. Come to think of it,
that would likely include "CHARLES MANSON
PREDICTED IN 1953 COMIC BOOK!" of just
last week! Then, we could add the best
known Usenet postings of a great many
other weeks and years as well.
Of course, since you are of the "nobody
does serious writing in Usenet," school
of shiftlessness, (come to think of it
"SHITlessness" fits your posting behavior
even better) you have psyched yourself into
wasting a huge amount of time with no, or
almost no, notable stand-alones to show
for it. In fact, about the only thing
you ARE known for is pestering your
betters while standing on the sidelines
with your hyper-active peashooter, Alan.
the VERY alt.genius.bill-palmer
--posting madly and loving every minute
of it, in the office of a building which
disappears into the mist high above
rec.arts.prose
Looney
"Bill Palmer" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:13ea6e3a.0309...@posting.google.com...
> Alan Hope <ah...@skynet.be> wrote in message
news:<c2s8nvsjjn65qiqi2...@4ax.com>...
> > Bill Palmer goes:
> >
> > >The most famous typo in Usenet history to
> > >date is clealy (sic) mine. In fact, if you
> > >do a Google "all groups" search for "clealy"
> > >and "Palmer" you should find something close
> > >to 3,500 GEMS.
> >
> > You're too modest. The most famous tyop in Usenet history, Biil, was
> > when you mispeld your own name.
> >
> > That would take some beating, and so do you.
>
> Aw shucks, Hopeless. You are just envious
> because--dispite your self-important airs
> of late--I have at least two typos which
> are more famous on the net than YOU are as
> a writer, anyplace.
Gawd.
--
Looney
----------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't realize it was happy hopping
moron day!
- Squidward
Rotcod Eman
I had a typo in a game's chat room just prior to the launch. This "hot"
babe was in the group, and was saying how some mechanic wanted to replace
something in her and her mothers shared vehicle. We all knew this babe, and
all had secretly said to each other "that she was so hot." I went to say
about the mechanic's intentions with a pun "He wants to screw you and your
mother" on the mechanical work...
However, it came out in a typo as "We want to screw you and your mother."
(Freudian Slip I guess)
She left the room and I was frowned at by all... An innocent pun gone
wrong... d'oh!
Bob Pastorio
Pheonix? Ediotr?
Pastorio
Alan Hope
>Alan Hope <ah...@skynet.be> wrote in message news:<c2s8nvsjjn65qiqi2...@4ax.com>...
>> Bill Palmer goes:
>> >The most famous typo in Usenet history to
>> >date is clealy (sic) mine. In fact, if you
>> >do a Google "all groups" search for "clealy"
>> >and "Palmer" you should find something close
>> >to 3,500 GEMS.
>> You're too modest. The most famous tyop in Usenet history, Biil, was
>> when you mispeld your own name.
>> That would take some beating, and so do you.
>Aw shucks, Hopeless. You are just envious
>because--dispite your self-important airs
>of late--I have at least two typos which
>are more famous on the net than YOU are as
>a writer, anyplace.
Oh, well done.
>Of course, that does
>not even scratch the surface of what is far
>more significant: The fact that on-line or
>off-line, old time print world or wherever,
>FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER is far
>better known than anything you have ever
>written.
Granted, but I'm in the unfortunate position of never in my life
having committed statutory rape, nor been an accomplice to murder.
I've had to soldier on with what little material real life has
presented to me.
I was traumatised in childhood by being pushed over and trodden on by
a pony-type creature. You can see my problem.
>On top of all that, if I wanted
>to do a few seconds more typing (which you
>don't deserve) I could name quite a few
>other works of mine that are ALSO better
>known and more popular than anything you
>have ever witten. Come to think of it,
>that would likely include "CHARLES MANSON
>PREDICTED IN 1953 COMIC BOOK!" of just
>last week! Then, we could add the best
>known Usenet postings of a great many
>other weeks and years as well.
Oh.
>Of course, since you are of the "nobody
>does serious writing in Usenet," school
>of shiftlessness, (come to think of it
>"SHITlessness" fits your posting behavior
>even better)
I can't believe that's what you intended to say, but thanks all the
same.
>you have psyched yourself into
>wasting a huge amount of time with no, or
>almost no, notable stand-alones to show
>for it.
I know. One wonders how I manage to pay the bills. Oh, that's right, I
get paid for writing. Phew.
So tell me, how many stand-alones a month does your "apartment" cost
these days? How does one find a landlord like that?
>In fact, about the only thing
>you ARE known for is pestering your
>betters while standing on the sidelines
>with your hyper-active peashooter, Alan.
I wouldn't be pestering very effectively if I didn't have my
pea-shooter while doing it. The one does tend to imply the other,
Palmjob. You really must tackle this over-writing problem of yours one
of these days.
--
AH
palmer.william
> Bill Palmer goes:
>
> >Alan Hope <ah...@skynet.be> wrote in message
news:<c2s8nvsjjn65qiqi2...@4ax.com>...
[...]
> Granted, but I'm in the unfortunate position of never in my life
> having committed statutory rape, nor been an accomplice to murder.
> I've had to soldier on with what little material real life has
> presented to me.
I don't find your libel the least humorous, Alan.
In fact, it may or may not be connected to
some threats and harrassment I have been
subjected to lately. This, in turn, isn't a
threat, it is a promise--if I have been
jeopardized or otherwise harmed by the
defamatory conduct (of which there is a
well established record) of you and a few
even slimier others, I am going to exercise
my legal rights in the matter. I don't relish
the thought, because in no way do I wish to
be distracted from my writing by a time
and energy demanding lawsuit.
On the other hand, I am not the only one who
has been harmed by net defamation' If I
have to go to bat for other victims, in a sense,
by taking a bunch of net libelists to court,
I am beginning to think it might be a
worthy cause, one which could benefit
the entire Usenet community.
Are you just plain vicious, like ICEKNIFE,
or are you really too naive to grasp that there
is a vortex of hatred in our society over
precisely the things you falsely allege,
one that could lead to all sorts of
ramifications, including physical harm,
Alan?
Up in L. A., it was reported that a man was
burned by someone who knocked at his door
and tossed a flammable liquid over him. Later
it was proved he had been falsely maligned
around his own neighborhood by exactly the
sort of thing you and ICEKNIF and a few
others specialize in, Alan. It isn't a joke
at all. It is about the most unfunny thing a
normal human being can imagine.
I remind you, and everyone, that the segment
of FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER
you libel me over described a romance I
shared at age twenty with a seventeen year
old woman. In my personal life, and in my
16,000 or so Usenet posts, there is NOTHING
to justify your vile defamations, Alan Hope.
It is difficult to assess the damage that
libelists like you cause, because often the
result is that people will just avoid the libel
target, rather then saying anything. But
I can tell you, since your vitriolic defamation
campaign started over FACTS IN THE CASE
OF BILL PALMER, a number of seemingly
inexplicable things have happened in my
life. For instance, regarding the time I was
jumped, maybe it was not my views on
second generation cyberpunk at all. Maybe
it was the libels by you and a few others.
And I won't even get into "the terror" up
in Venice that got me down to my current
hideout in San Diego county.
Of course, there are a lot of things going on
here, when you start to look at the matter of
why someone should be vilely defamed simply
for viewing Usenet as an excellent place for
improving one's writing, for unleashing his or
her creative processes.
The whole thing is spelled out very clearly
in "Prosthetic Extension," the original of
which is easily available in the Google
Nova.
I posted that in misc.writing. The people who
needed to read it for their own good did not.
I expected that essay to start a highly productive
discussion.Instead, it was studiously ignored,
because I was "guilty" of posting WRITING in misc.
writing!
What it was, really, was a public-posted
metaphorical "map," to be followed in my
Usenet writing program
In that essay, I used the example
of the handicapped person who enters a race
with stainless steel artifical legs. At first, the
other contestants and their supporters think that
is wonderful, they applaud him, and expect him
to take eighth place or something (assuming
there are eight contestants) at best.
But when he takes off, and those stainless
steel legs start working, soon becoming a
shiny blur, and the person with the prosthetic
extension wins the race, then all of sudden
many people are screaming at him instead
of patting him on the back. They even deny
a race was taking place in the first place, and
they ridicule him for assuming that.
Here we have a world of words inhabited by
millions of wonderful people, including all
sorts of professors, software millionaries, etc.,
self-important folks of all varieties too, as well as
a sprinkling of vicious little dragger nobodies
who see Usenet as nothing more than a game
where they can push the other players around.
Then all these words come along, strung
together in a certain fashion and they have a
funny little way of getting in people's minds until
it becomes clear that no one else but whoever
strung them has added so many unique phrases,
neologisms, net cultural expressons, and--above
all--notable pieces of writing to our Usenet world
of words. Then, suddenly, it isn't funny anymore.
And among the lowest of the low, the only response
is to stab out, to dirty trick, to libel and try to hurt the
person behind those words...yes, I have actually been
called "retarded"--though never offically dubbed--but
don't think I don't know what's going on here.
Bunch of damn smarties...
>
> I was traumatised in childhood by being pushed over and trodden on by
> a pony-type creature. You can see my problem.
It's not funny.
It's not one little bit funny.
And if I do in fact discover that the libels are behind
the negative things that have been happening, I have
every intention of exercising my legal rights in this
matter. The best advice I can give anyone who has
been engaging in this sort of thing is to track down
their defamatory postings and remove them. Once
I decide to go ahead with the matter, it may be
too late to do that. As of now, the libelists of
record I recall of the top of my top of my head
are Alan Hope, ICEKNIFE, Fundoc, and a few
unusually slimy hangers-on in alt.slack. There
are others.
[...]
the alt.genius.bill-palmer
--posting from an office in a high building
towering above rec.arts.prose.
Ankara
"palmer.william" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1lodb.154$1Y4.26...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com...
> I remind you, and everyone, that the segment
> of FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER
> you libel me over described a romance I
> shared at age twenty with a seventeen year
> old woman.
um......a 20 yr old sleeping with a 17 yr old is statutory rape (in most
states)
what state did this rape occur in?
By the way, the rumor I heard about you had nothing to do with rape....
I heard you like to eat poo while listening to reggae.....
hope this helps...
Ankara
....is it libel if I just *like* to think of you as retarded? (in a totally
friendly way)
palmer.william
"Ankara" <uh-...@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:uLodb.26170$0Z5.18649@lakeread03...
>
> "palmer.william" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> news:1lodb.154$1Y4.26...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com...
>
> > I remind you, and everyone, that the segment
> > of FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER
> > you libel me over described a romance I
> > shared at age twenty with a seventeen year
> > old woman.
>
> um......a 20 yr old sleeping with a 17 yr old is statutory rape (in most
> states)
> what state did this rape occur in?
Nonsense. Taking such an incident out of its context
context in a very a well-known literary work and using it
as a vile pretext to defame the aurthor is no defense
against a charge of libel. In fact, all it does is showcase
your innate viciousness and your contempt for the
creative processes which lead writers to take true
incidents from their lives and use them as material
for an autobiography,.
As to the state where that segment of FACTS IN THE
CASE OF BILL PALMER took place, all that is needed
is to say it was back in the Midwest someplace. But
your nonsensical notion that people have ever, or would
ever, object to a romance between a twenty year old
and a seventeen year old strains credulity.
Had you read THE FACTS you ignorantly blather
about, you would know that when I was interviewed by
authorities after the murders, it was only to see if I could
provide a description or if i knew the whereabouts of the
individuals who killed my friend (who was also my
girlfriend's brother). The perpetrators were known to
the police, and were in fact later gunned down by other
thugs in a big Midwest city where they had fled.
As far as my relationship with Diane, there was never
any hint or suggestion of impropriety regarding that,
and unless times have changed radically without my
knowing it, no one would even look askance--merely
because of the age differntial and for no other reason--
at a romantic relationship today between a twenty year
old and a seventeen year old.
Of course, your absurd blather, emanating from the
net sewer as it is in defense of an ugly defamation
campaign against an writer, simply reveals you as a
pseudonynmous guttersnipe with a libelous bent
yourself.
the alt.genius.bill-palmer
--posting from an office in a building
towering high above rec.arts.prose
Dunter Powries
I heard that you sell bad heroin and blow jobs in pornographic movie house
restrooms, that your willy is entirely covered in oozing, pustulent scabs
and that you once butt-fucked a neighbor's daschund to death because it
wouldn't stop barking. I don't know; that's just what I heard.
Looney
So the answer to the question is 18? Got it.
--
Looney
----------------------------------------------------------
This space for rent - inquire within
nenslo
You are a murderous pederast.
Ankara
>
> "Ankara" <uh-...@somewhere.com> wrote in message
> news:uLodb.26170$0Z5.18649@lakeread03...
> >
> > "palmer.william" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> > news:1lodb.154$1Y4.26...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com...
> >
> > > I remind you, and everyone, that the segment
> > > of FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER
> > > you libel me over described a romance I
> > > shared at age twenty with a seventeen year
> > > old woman.
> >
> > um......a 20 yr old sleeping with a 17 yr old is statutory rape (in most
> > states)
> > what state did this rape occur in?
>
> CASE OF BILL PALMER took place, all that is needed
> is to say it was back in the Midwest someplace. But
> your nonsensical notion that people have ever, or would
> ever, object to a romance between a twenty year old
> and a seventeen year old strains credulity.
hmm... for someone who uses the word *facts* (IN CAPS) so much you seem to
be
ignoring one important one....your *relationship* was still considered rape
according to
the laws of most states (in FACT your dodging the issue of it's location
leads me to believe that this
*might* very well be the case) I was only commenting on things that you said
*yourself*
and this was my only point....
as to this libel issue...don't care...if netizens are saying mean things
about you....well Billy,
we both know about your long and colorful history as a troll of this
newsgroup, and this
behavior will make you a few enemies....right? yes...it will....
I have never said this to you before...but you are one of my absolute
favorite net kooks...
these days...feh....what passes for a whack-job-on-the-net, pales by
comparison to your grandeur
you deserve accolades bill...these kids today don't have what it takes to
stay *with* the insanity
and remain lucid throughout....my hat is off to you sir.....(purps,
elevendy, take note of the master
passing through)
I know Bill, it hurts sometimes....you can write a thousand stories and they
won't
call you a writer....but suck one cock.....
don't let it get you down Billy....
now run along now...I heard that someone in misc.writing wants to learn
about
your jumping one-footed typing technique...
Ankara
Don't go changing....just to try and please me...
Joe Cosby
Bill Palmer + RAT FUCKER + RACIST + PEDOPHILE
8836
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"You laugh at ME because I'm different. I laugh at YOU because YOU'RE ALL
THE SAME."
Rev. 11D Meow!
oh, this is getting to be more fun than a barrel of hell pope huggies.
"Ankara" <uh-...@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:uLodb.26170$0Z5.18649@lakeread03...
>
Rev. 11D Meow!
"nenslo" <nen...@yahooX.com> wrote in message
news:3F766FA5...@yahooX.com...
fundoc
"Bill Palmer" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:13ea6e3a.0309...@posting.google.com...
> On top of all that, if I wanted
> to do a few seconds more typing (which you
> don't deserve) I could name quite a few
> other works of mine that are ALSO better
> known and more popular than anything you
> have ever witten. Come to think of it,
> that would likely include "CHARLES MANSON
> PREDICTED IN 1953 COMIC BOOK!" of just
> last week!
I went to the trouble of looking up MANSON; when I read it in AW, I found it
almost archetypically, mythologically stupid, as did those whose comments I read
before losing interest entirely. Here are the facts in the case of Charles
Manson.
Palmer posted a story, in a mind-numbing 1200 words, about how he soiled himself
in fear when he saw a character who looked like Mr. Charlie on a comic book
cover. He posted the story in 10 newsgroups, generating a total of 32 "GEMS," 8
of them his own. The most, 24, were in alt.slack. The AS thread in a nutshell:
1. Palmer's exquisitely stupid 1200 words.
2. Reverend Meow quotes the entire 1200 words, appending "Hi Bill!" to the end.
3. Blackout weighs in with a paragraph that ends "Palmer has not lost his
ability to out-stupid himself."
4. Palmer chides Blackout; it's not funny he says, as "I'm afraid to go to bed."
5. Neslo says: "I am actually beginning to pity this fool."
6. Ghost says that Palmer "needs pills. Give him pills."
7. Part-time MW numbskull RTC Jeep List says "Good read, but kind of a letdown
ending."
8. Ghost chimes in again, saying "It's just as likely that Charlie SAW that
comic and modeled himself on it," proving that Palmer's not the only poster in
alt.slack who can out-stupid himself.
9. Palmer, however, finds Ghost's hypothesis to be "a terrifying possibility."
10. The Old Man manages to get to the gist of the matter in four syllables:
"Worst. Story. Ever."
11. Palmer wonders - about half-way through 1000 words intended to flame the Old
Man to Cleveland, which, as usual, don't even make it to Akron - whether the Old
Man "is simply trying to troll me into wasting words."
12. Which prompts Tyler C. Hellard's reply: "Mission. Fucking. Accomplished."
13. Some guy posts a link to the comic cover, saying "doesn't look anything like
him."
14. Palmer again.
15. Our own Mr. Alan Hope weighs in with a bon mot. Unfortunately, copyright
issues preclude its reproduction here.
16-18. Three guys pile on Hope's punch line.
19. One McDonald wonders if Palmer "lit [a joint] up before entering that
basement?"
20-22. Three guys pile on with drug references.
19. Guy "agrees. it's creepy," but there's "no resemblance."
24. Fittingly, its Palmer again.
So, to recap: of the 18 "GEMS", 2 were favorable, 7 were to the effect that
Palmer's a fuck-knob, 6 replied to other posters, and 3 were neutral or
off-topic.
So what does this all mean? Well, first and foremost it means that the current
Mrs. Fundoc is visiting her mother, so that me and my trusty hookah have nothing
better than this to do on a dreary Sunday AM.
The more interesting revelation, however, concerns Palmer's precious Google
Mountain. Consider: Palmer's 10 posts generated 32 follow-ups, a GEM ratio of
3.2. More importantly, Palmer's word-to-GEM (W2G) ratio was an astoundingly
minuscule .015 -- meaning that every word Palmer wrote generated one-tenth of
one-hundredth of a reply in kind.
Now, OTOH, consider my own recent 36-word stand-alone brilliancy "Outlook
Express," which generated 12 replies -- a GEM ratio of 12.00 and an
extraordinary W2G ratio of nearly 10.37 to 1. (None of the GEMS, incidentally,
questioned my sanity.)
There is only one conclusion to be drawn: measured thusly, I am a more famous
net-writer than Biil Palmer.
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
mule
wrote:
>There is only one conclusion to be drawn: measured thusly, I am a more famous
>net-writer than Biil Palmer.
That conclusion could've been drawn rather more concisely. But then,
it's hardly word drawing at all.
--
mule
Swanky Dubloon
news:SdDdb.9638$pe7....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
[. . .]
> So what does this all mean? Well, first and foremost it means that the current
> Mrs. Fundoc is visiting her mother, so that me and my trusty hookah have
nothing
> better than this to do on a dreary Sunday AM.
Yeah, it's me and the freezer, as well, mate. Actually, I have
a hubble-bubble, only it's an ornament. Ah, the hippy trail,
those were the days. The then Mrs RJM brought back a heap
of Afghan coats to sell to impoverished flower people of our
acquaintance. They came in bundles tied up with string . . . not
the flower people, the coats of many designs. Thirty bob each,
I think she sold them for, turned the Kings Road into Main Street,
Kabul overnight. I bought the hookah in Notting Hill Gate, as it
happens.
I'm sitting here with the animals contemplating what to do for
our christmas card this year. Last year we had a picture of the
Stena Ferry with an arrow superimposed pointing to the sixth
porthole on the starboard side and a caption saying, "Wish you
were here?" How our friends laughed, they said. Of course we
won't be quite so merry this Yuletide, not after our bereavement.
Poor Dennis. Sure, we feel blessed to have had fourteen years
to love him. Well, Herself does. I nearly ran the fucker over once
accidentally, just caught him with the back wheel, and I've never
been allowed to forget it.
No, I'm thinking, a nice picture of Bruce and Caitlin curled up by
the fire with a heartbreaking Dennis sized indentation in the beanbag.
Above the mantelpiece, the wraithlike figure of a large orange cat
ascends to the gates of heaven through fluffy clouds, surrounded by
a band of angels playing harps. The wonders of Photoshop, what.
Yes, we so want all our friends to share in our loss, and hundreds of
strangers in a newsgroup, too.
I can't make up my mind whether to include a brief insert about his
life, the joy and the pain, about his many friends in London and here
in the country, human and feline, and his love for one human being
in particular and their devotion to each other, which was never really
as unnatural as it seemed, I think. Now, would you find such a note
morbid if you received one in, say, a Rosh Hashana card? Of course
I appreciate that you people aren't as sentimental about death as the
rest of us, and who can blame you. Sure, celebrating New Year right
after the birthday of the man you murdered hasn't gone unnoticed in
intelligent circles. God, I've been struggling with this question for hours.
You will give me your objective opinion, won't you?
--
RJM (ex officio).
Alan Hope
>I don't find your libel the least humorous, Alan.
>In fact, it may or may not be connected to
>some threats and harrassment I have been
>subjected to lately. This, in turn, isn't a
>threat, it is a promise--if I have been
>jeopardized or otherwise harmed by the
>defamatory conduct (of which there is a
>well established record) of you and a few
>even slimier others, I am going to exercise
>my legal rights in the matter. I don't relish
>the thought, because in no way do I wish to
>be distracted from my writing by a time
>and energy demanding lawsuit.
Ooh.
>On the other hand, I am not the only one who
>has been harmed by net defamation' If I
>have to go to bat for other victims, in a sense,
>by taking a bunch of net libelists to court,
>I am beginning to think it might be a
>worthy cause, one which could benefit
>the entire Usenet community.
Gosh.
>Are you just plain vicious, like ICEKNIFE,
>or are you really too naive to grasp that there
>is a vortex of hatred in our society over
>precisely the things you falsely allege,
>one that could lead to all sorts of
>ramifications, including physical harm,
>Alan?
Oh my. I'm getting a chubby.
>Up in L. A., it was reported that a man was
>burned by someone who knocked at his door
>and tossed a flammable liquid over him. Later
>it was proved he had been falsely maligned
>around his own neighborhood by exactly the
>sort of thing you and ICEKNIF and a few
>others specialize in, Alan. It isn't a joke
>at all. It is about the most unfunny thing a
>normal human being can imagine.
What, even more unfunny than twinkles?
>I remind you, and everyone, that the segment
>of FACTS IN THE CASE OF BILL PALMER
>you libel me over described a romance I
>shared at age twenty with a seventeen year
>old woman.
Quite so. Under-age, in other words. So, I claim veritas. Case
dismissed.
>In my personal life, and in my
>16,000 or so Usenet posts, there is NOTHING
>to justify your vile defamations, Alan Hope.
Well, aside from your full and frank confession, that is.
Why not sue me in London, like Perle v. New Yorker? I'd get a nice
trip, stay in a hotel, have a night out with RJM and Zen, well perhaps
one night out each, and you'd pay my costs at the end of it when your
case fell on its arse. I know a very sweet little black-Irish
barrister I haven't seen for some time, which would be another excuse.
Do let me have your writ soonest. I wonder what's on in the cinema
over there?
--
AH
Alan Hope
>Pheonix? Ediotr?
I've completely forgotten who that guy was.
--
AH
HellPopeHuey
> You are a murderous pederast.
And he's not even JOVIAL about it. No one likes SOURPUSS murderous pederast.
--
HellPope Huey
Hibby bibby plep-plop hau fau hubba-dubba
"Forgiveness encourages your enemies
to sucker punch you again tomorrow."
- John Trubee
"I'm sweatin' like a Catholic priest at a Little League game."
- Nick DiPaolo
HellPopeHuey
> Bill Palmer + RAT FUCKER + RACIST + PEDOPHILE
>> 8836
The only reason palmer is dragging out this tired old whore no one
gave a steel-plated shit about the first time around is that he does
not want that recent picture of him wearing a red rubber nose and
fucking a Great Dane up the poop chute in Dealy Plaza to make the
rounds of the binaries groups. Pathetic dumbass, you make iceknife
look cuddly. And look, Cosby has trumped you numerologically,
properly divining that you are fucking underaged nigger rats as well.
The walls are closing IN, you little pinworm. FEEL THE BURN.
palmer.william
All you do is try to perpetrate a very phony, very hoary,
Usnenet charade, Fundoc. It has been tried before, and
by far more intelligent bozos than you. The only thing
I have yet to do is think up a colorful name for this
trick you try, to put it in perspective with the "snip-and-
misrepresent," leap-frog lamestering, etc.
Give me a couple of seconds...Ha! Got it
Tt's the "slippery-sleeve followup charade." enters
Usenet culture. That is the name enters Usenet culture.,
The trick has been around for a long time.
"The slippery-sleeve follow-up charade." That is exactly what
you are attempting to pawn off there. In fact you you left out all
sorts of interesting follow-up, Fundoc, from alt.true-crime,
alt.gothic and other groups.
Don't try a "Hopeless Hopester" trick and wail that I need
to repost that follow-up. Why waste the seconds? The
thoughhtful follow up on the MANSON post is still
very current, and if any reader is incapable of going
to Google and easily checking the follow up for
"CHARLES MANSON PREDICTED IN 1953 COMIC
BOOK!" in those two groups (that you "overlooked") then
he should not be attempting to read my posts in the first
place.
Yes, FUNDOC, the "slippery-sleeve follow-up charade"
is an very old, very dirty trick in Usenet. It works like
this: Person A make a true, easily verifiable assertion.
regarding the quantity and/or quality of his or her
follow-up to a post. Then Person B, a vindictive
and dishonest spankard, calls falsely calls person
B a liar, and reposts (pulls from a dirty, slippery
sleeve, so to speak) a HIGHLY SELECT portion
of the follow-up, leaving out the key posts which
would prove Person B a liar.
As I said, FUNDOC, it has been tried on me for
quite a few years now by far more intelligent
spankards than you are.
the alt.genius.bill-palmer
--posting madly from an office in a building
that disappears into the mist high above
recoarts.prose
>
> "Bill Palmer" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> news:13ea6e3a.0309...@posting.google.com...
>
> > On top of all that, if I wanted
> > to do a few seconds more typing (which you
> > don't deserve) I could name quite a few
> > other works of mine that are ALSO better
> > known and more popular than anything you
> > have ever witten. Come to think of it,
> > that would likely include "CHARLES MANSON
> > PREDICTED IN 1953 COMIC BOOK!" of just
> > last week!
>
> I went to the trouble of looking up MANSON; when I read it in AW, I found
it
> almost archetypically, mythologically stupid, as did those whose comments
I read
> before losing interest entirely. Here are the facts in the case of Charles
> Manson.
[...]
[Snip of Fundoc's "Slippery-sleeve follow-up charade, since it
was just posted.]
>
fundoc
"Swanky Dubloon" <gno...@clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:106477690...@iris.uk.clara.net...
Well, first of all, I'm not particularly Jewish. Oh sure, I've claimed to be so
when it suited me, but that was mere expediency, a bluff if you will. For
example, my notable stand alone post about the trials and tribulations of
growing up sheenie in a Pentecostal Midwest community (OY! KLAHOMA) was made up
from whole cloth. Of course, not being one of those annoying neo writers one
hears so much about, I researched the topic pretty exhaustively, reading the
great Jewish writers, Spinoza, Proust, Jervis, lending money at usurious
interest rates, sacrificing Christian babies to Mammon, being gassed to death at
Treblinka, and the like. Accounts for the realism no doubt.
We (royal) were all saddened to hear about poor Dennis's passing. It can be
terribly unsettling to lose a cherished family member, so I wasn't surprised
that you chose to vent your feelings in Usenet. Some people would claim that
sharing an intimate emotion like grief with complete strangers is a sign of a
deep and abiding mental illness, that some form of counseling or medication is
in order, that it's time to get a life for fuck sake, or at least a new kitten.
Well, those people are insensitive ghouls. My own sainted grandmother turned 93
in September, just a few days after having her gall bladder and bits of her
spleen removed, and I was praying that she'd snuff it, just so that I'd have
something to post to Usenet about. Well, that and that she's worth a small
fortune; trust, unfortunately. No such luck. Three days later the old crone was
up dancing the Hora, or would have been anyway, if she were in fact a Jew.
Despite my un-semiticism, I've considered the whole Rosh Hashanah card thing
pretty thoroughly, and have concluded that it doesn't really do Dennis justice.
I like the imagery, but I think that a cat as special as Dennis obviously was
deserves something bigger and better. I'm thinking a billboard, assuming that
you have those things over there. Imagine: you're coming up the A282 trunk road,
leathers flapping in the breeze, and as you top the crest near
Dartford-Thurrock, there, in all his glory: Dennis, wings, harps, seraphim, etc.
Think of the possibilities! And that way, not only would you be sharing your
grief with friends, loved ones, and complete strangers in Usenet, but you'd be
reaching each and every lorry driver and liverymen in the greater London area.
What greater tribute could there be? *sigh* It almost makes me want to go out
and get a cat and kill it, just so that I could do the same.
fundoc
"mule" <nos...@fairview3.clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:ng4env4dchhc2jm0v...@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 28 Sep 2003 15:36:18 GMT, "fundoc" <fun...@nycap.rr.com>
> wrote:
>
> >There is only one conclusion to be drawn: measured thusly, I am a more famous
> >net-writer than Biil Palmer.
>
> That conclusion could've been drawn rather more concisely. But then,
> it's hardly word drawing at all.
Oh.
fundoc
"palmer.william" <palmer....@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:L%Ndb.7553$8l2....@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com...
> "fundoc" <fun...@nycap.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:SdDdb.9638$pe7....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
>
> All you do is try to perpetrate a very phony, very hoary,
> Usnenet charade, Fundoc. It has been tried before, and
> by far more intelligent bozos than you. The only thing
> I have yet to do is think up a colorful name for this
> trick you try, to put it in perspective with the "snip-and-
> misrepresent," leap-frog lamestering, etc.
Just pathetic, Palmer. Attempting to add to your Google Mountain by x-posting a
reply to a single post of mine to 10 or 12 newsgroups. Such behavior cannor
possibly do your word-to-GEM (W2G) ratio any good.
You are correct however, I did miss the "all sorts of interesting follow-ups....
from alt.true-crime" -- that is, if you consider 6 posts discussing whether or
not Mr. Charlie actually killed anybody either "interesting" or somehow
following-up your juvenile THE DAY I SAW A COMIC BOOK AND SHIT MY PANTS attempt
at neo fiction. Benefit of the doubt though, those seven posts increase your W2G
from .015 to .017, or about about 8 letters, which letters, in your case, are
likely d-u-m-b-f-u-c-k.
<blah blah blah snipped>
Ultraviolet
news:Cw_db.22065$oa4....@twister.nyroc.rr.com:
<>
> Well, first of all, I'm not particularly Jewish. Oh sure, I've claimed
> to be so when it suited me, but that was mere expediency, a bluff if
> you will.
You brat! I believed you and it's taken me *years* of therapy to get past
the guilt over LOLing at GW's "shiksa secretary" routine thinking it had
hurt your poor, delicate little feelings. And now I find out you were
bluffing... YOU MEAN LYING, DON'T YOU?!? It's just to much to bear. Really,
I don't know how I'll be able to cope with all that time I wasted pouring
my heart out to whatsherface - not to mention paying all those fucking
deductibles - when I could have been LOLing some more or doing other
useful...stuff. Like blogging! Yeah, blogging.
You are a bad, bad man, Mr. Fundoc.
> dancing the Hora
Wah! Stoppit!
--
UV
Swanky Dubloon
> Well, first of all, I'm not particularly Jewish. Oh sure, I've claimed to be
so
> when it suited me, but that was mere expediency, a bluff if you will. For
> example, my notable stand alone post about the trials and tribulations of
> growing up sheenie in a Pentecostal Midwest community (OY! KLAHOMA) was made
up
> from whole cloth. Of course, not being one of those annoying neo writers one
> hears so much about, I researched the topic pretty exhaustively, reading the
> great Jewish writers, Spinoza, Proust, Jervis, lending money at usurious
> interest rates, sacrificing Christian babies to Mammon, being gassed to death
at
> Treblinka, and the like. Accounts for the realism no doubt.
Yees, no doubt. I'm reminded of the great Dr. Jonathan Miller
who said, "In fact, I'm not really a *Jew*, just Jew-*ish*".
> We (royal) were all saddened to hear about poor Dennis's passing. It can be
> terribly unsettling to lose a cherished family member, so I wasn't surprised
> that you chose to vent your feelings in Usenet. Some people would claim that
> sharing an intimate emotion like grief with complete strangers is a sign of a
> deep and abiding mental illness, that some form of counseling or medication is
> in order, that it's time to get a life for fuck sake, or at least a new
kitten.
> Well, those people are insensitive ghouls. My own sainted grandmother turned
93
> in September, just a few days after having her gall bladder and bits of her
> spleen removed, and I was praying that she'd snuff it, just so that I'd have
> something to post to Usenet about. Well, that and that she's worth a small
> fortune; trust, unfortunately. No such luck. Three days later the old crone
was
> up dancing the Hora, or would have been anyway, if she were in fact a Jew.
I can only sympathise. My dead relatives habitually performed the
jig. Unfortunately most of them preceded Usenet.
> Despite my un-semiticism, I've considered the whole Rosh Hashanah card thing
> pretty thoroughly, and have concluded that it doesn't really do Dennis
justice.
> I like the imagery, but I think that a cat as special as Dennis obviously was
> deserves something bigger and better. I'm thinking a billboard, assuming that
> you have those things over there. Imagine: you're coming up the A282 trunk
road,
> leathers flapping in the breeze, and as you top the crest near
> Dartford-Thurrock, there, in all his glory: Dennis, wings, harps, seraphim,
etc.
> Think of the possibilities! And that way, not only would you be sharing your
> grief with friends, loved ones, and complete strangers in Usenet, but you'd be
> reaching each and every lorry driver and liverymen in the greater London area.
> What greater tribute could there be? *sigh* It almost makes me want to go out
> and get a cat and kill it, just so that I could do the same.
I *knew* you'd come up trumps, old man. And the saving on postage!
Wait till I tell Benjie. Things have been a bit slow for him since I retired.
Goodnight.
Alan Hope
>"fundoc" <fun...@nycap.rr.com> wrote in
>news:Cw_db.22065$oa4....@twister.nyroc.rr.com:
><>
>> Well, first of all, I'm not particularly Jewish. Oh sure, I've claimed
>> to be so when it suited me, but that was mere expediency, a bluff if
>> you will.
>You brat! I believed you and it's taken me *years* of therapy to get past
>the guilt over LOLing at GW's "shiksa secretary" routine thinking it had
>hurt your poor, delicate little feelings.
Ahem. GW's shiksa secretary thing was aimed at gekko's SU, not fundoc.
Try to keep the record straight, dear.
>And now I find out you were
>bluffing... YOU MEAN LYING, DON'T YOU?!? It's just to much to bear. Really,
>I don't know how I'll be able to cope with all that time I wasted pouring
>my heart out to whatsherface - not to mention paying all those fucking
>deductibles - when I could have been LOLing some more or doing other
>useful...stuff. Like blogging! Yeah, blogging.
There was no blogging in our day, Paula.
>You are a bad, bad man, Mr. Fundoc.
He may be bad, but he wrote a fat book. No, a post. And not fat, but
full of waste. Same diff innit.
--
AH
gekko
Hope <ah...@skynet.be>, who responded on 29 Sep 2003 in
misc.writing, saying:
UV LOLed:
>>You brat! I believed you and it's taken me *years* of therapy to
>>get past the guilt over LOLing at GW's "shiksa secretary" routine
>>thinking it had hurt your poor, delicate little feelings.
>
> Ahem. GW's shiksa secretary thing was aimed at gekko's SU
moira's, to be exact. I mean, does "gekko" sound like a fucking
Jewish name to you? I think not.
--
gekko
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because
you might not get there. - Yogi Berra (1925-)
Davida Chazan - The Chocolate Lady
On Tue, 30 Sep 2003 01:05:17 +0200, Alan Hope <ah...@skynet.be> wrote:
>
>There was no blogging in our day, Paula.
No, we had journals and diaries that no one but our best friends would
ever see. Or our mothers if we left them someplace too conspicuous.
("I always keep my diary with me when I travel. One needs something
sensational to read on the train." paraphrased from Oscar Wilde's
"The Importance of Being Ernest")
--
Davida Chazan (The Chocolate Lady)
<davida @ jdc . org . il>
~*~*~*~*~*~
"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of
chocolate."
--Katharine Hepburn (May 12, 1907 - June 29, 2003)
~*~*~*~*~*~
Links to my published poetry - http://davidachazan.homestead.com/
~*~*~*~*~*~
fundoc
"Ultraviolet" <paula...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xns940573C73...@129.250.170.81...
If it's any consolation, I'm not terribly fond of pork
Alan Hope
>If it's any consolation, I'm not terribly fond of pork
Yeah, pork, yeah. What's to be fond of? But bacon, now. Bet you're
fond of bacon. Scourge of the veggie classes, bacon is.
--
AH
fundoc
Another bluff, as I'm pretty fond of ribs and rice.
Picked up a lovely copy of "The Impossible HL Mencken" a bit ago, which I'm
almost through. Much of his stuff is pretty dated, unfortunately, although
things like "Gamelielese" are of such genius as to make all the obscure nonsense
about whether Dreiser was a better writer than Howells worthwhile. Anyway, last
night I read the Scopes trial stuff, wherein HLM writes, while excoriating some
dumbass Tennessee peckerwood:
"He told me today that he regarded the food regulations in Leviticus as so
sagacious that their framing must have been a sort of feat even for divinity.
The flesh of the domestic hog, he said, is a rank poison as ordinarily prepared
for the table, though it is probably harmless when smoked and salted, as in
bacon. He said that his investigations had shown that seven and a half out of
every thirteen cows are quite free of tuberculosis, but that twelve out of every
thirteen hogs have it in an advanced and highly communicable form. The Jews,
protected by their piety against devouring pork, are immune to the disease. In
all history, he said, there is authentic record of but one Jew who died of
tuberculosis."
Of no great interest, except to the synchronicitists among us.
Alan Hope
>Picked up a lovely copy of "The Impossible HL Mencken" a bit ago, which I'm
>almost through.
I got _Prejudices_ off some Gutenberg-type site. Funny, and more to
the point, astute.
"But what is the anarchistic ex-professor's own theory? - for a
professor must have a theory, as a dog must have fleas. In brief, what
he offers is a doctrine borrowed from the Italian, Benedetto Croce,
and by Croce filched from Goethe - a doctrine anything but new in the
world, even in Goethe's time, but nevertheless long buried in
forgetfulness - to wit, the doctrine that it is the critic's first and
only duty, as Carlyle once put it, to find out "what the poet's aim
really and truly was, how the task he had to do stood before his eye,
and how far, with such materials as were afforded him, he has
fulfilled it." For poet, read artist, or, if literature is in
question, substitute the Germanic word Dichter - that is, the artist
in words, the creator of beautiful letters, whether in verse or in
prose. Ibsen always called himself a Digter, not a Dramatiker or
Skuespiller. So, I daresay, did Shakespeare.... Well, what is this
generalized poet trying to do? asks Major Spingarn, and how has he
done it? "
And:
"As practiced by all such learned and diligent but essentially
ignorant and unimaginative men, criticism is little more than a branch
of homiletics. They judge a work of art, not by its clarity and
sincerity, not by the force and charm of its ideas, not by the
technical virtuosity of the artist, not by his originality and
artistic courage, but simply and solely by his orthodoxy. If he is
what is called a "right thinker," if he devotes himself to advocating
the transient platitudes in a sonorous manner, then he is worthy of
respect. But if he lets fall the slightest hint that he is in doubt
about any of them, or, worse still, that he is indifferent, then he is
a scoundrel, and hence, by their theory, a bad artist. Such pious
piffle is horribly familiar among us. I do not exaggerate its terms."
And also:
"We are, in fact, a nation of evangelists; every third American
devotes himself to improving and lifting up his fellow-citizens,
usually by force; the messianic delusion is our national disease. Thus
the moral Privatdozenten have the crowd on their side, and it is
difficult to shake their authority; even the vicious are still in
favor of crying vice down. "Here is a novel," says the artist. "Why
didn't you write a tract?" roars the professor - and down the chute go
novel and novelist. "This girl is pretty," says the painter. "But she
has left off her undershirt," protests the head-master - and off goes
the poor dauber's head. At its mildest, this balderdash takes the form
of the late Hamilton Wright Mabie's "White List of Books", at its
worst, it is comstockery, an idiotic and abominable thing. Genuine
criticism is as impossible to such inordinately narrow and cocksure
men as music is to a man who is tone-deaf."
I particularly enjoyed the flamingo in:
"Obviously, it is a far sounder and more stimulating theory than any
of those cherished by the other professors. It demands that the critic
be a man of intelligence, of toleration, of wide information, of
genuine hospitality to ideas, whereas the others only demand that he
have learning, and accept anything as learning that has been said
before. But once he has stated his doctrine, the ingenious
ex-professor, professor-like, immediately begins to corrupt it by
claiming too much for it. Having laid and hatched, so to speak, his
somewhat stale but still highly nourishing egg, he begins to argue
fatuously that the resultant flamingo is the whole mustering of the
critical Aves . "
--
AH
Culture isn't a bag of marbles, but a cake. -- UV